04x06 - Bullseye

[bunniefuu]

Elsa: Take it to the big tent.

Elsa: Fate. Destiny. Luck. The prisons of man. People pass the time, enjoying the choices life provides-- coffee or tea, right or left. (chuckles) As if it matters.

We are all just spinning on the wheel. There is but one way to keep off the wheel. It's not youth. (gasps) It's not beauty or true love. I know how to stay off the wheel. I control my fate. I have survived because I know one must be willing to destroy anyone, anything, even the things you love, to keep the gods in check.

What in the hell did you bring that old thing out for?

I was a master of the wheel in my youth. We used to strap a carny up here and William Tell an apple right off his head.

Are we working this back into the show?

Oh, no, darling. Television.

It's going to be my second act mainstay.

Well, I hope you're not planning on leaving too soon. With the twins gone and if you go, I mean, there's not gonna be much show left.

It was selfish of them to leave.

Well, everybody's just worried about them.

Well, tell them to stop.

I take that ungrateful hydra dress shopping, and the second I turn my back to buy a slip, they sneak out the back.

Truth is, the stage isn't for everybody, you know.

And tell our monsters that the only thing they should be thinking about is how grateful they are to me for saying yes to this television show.

In a couple of months, I will have you all, every one of you, brought out to join me.

Oh, they are grateful.

I mean, it's your birthday week.

They're out there working on your presents.

And I'm gonna make you the best damn cake you ever had.

Good.

Now, go on, leave me.

I need to practice.

Okay, you're the boss, Elsa.

Yes, I am.

I like Dora better.

Well, hindsight is 20/20, dear.

Look under the dome; I bought you a present.

Prophylactics?

What are these for?

You're a young man with a young man's needs.

Inbreeding has caused enough pain in this family.

We don't need to muddy the waters any further with whatever curse led to those girls' affliction.

I would never violate those girls.

I love them.

I didn't think I could feel love until I met them.

My heart was lost.

And it took a woman with the vision of four eyes to find it, and the love of two hearts to give it back to me.

What do you think?

Are you going to escort them to cotillion?

I will not allow you to isolate us from the world because of some new fetish.

Because they're freaks?!

So am I, Mother!

When I'm with them, I feel normal.

(sniffles)

There comes a time in every mother's life... when she must give up her son to another woman.

I'm going to marry those girls, Mother.

We're going to be together forever.

(Elsa gasps)

Oh, Ethel.

Oh, you have outdone yourself.

They say all the movie stars use Westmore.

Yes. You got to have the best on your big trip out to Hollywood.

Westmore. (laughs)

Well, come on, step lively.

Supposed to be a party.

Who's next?

What have we here?

(gasps)

(laughs): Ooh!

Paul, you cheeky bastard.

Eve.

What can this be?

(laughing)

I will keep you warm, Miss Elsa.

Oh, liebchen!

Liebchen, liebchen, liebchen.

Oh.

My very own hot water bottle to cuddle with at night.

Oh.

(laughs)

Oh...

What's the matter?

Why such long faces?

This is just the beginning of our glorious week of festivities.

Why so gloomy?

We miss the twins.

Did they say anything before they took off about why they wanted to leave?

Paul: Maybe we should go search for them.

They might be lost or...

Elsa: No!

Enough about the twins.

I will have no more of this!

We bring them in, give them a home, a family, and how do they repay us?

By disappearing into the night.

So, no more about the twins!

Do you hear me?!

Now, I demand that you start having fun this instant.

Or I'll put one of you up against that wheel.

♪ ♪

Oh, no.

No, no.

Not you, too, mit the long face.

Who, me?

Perhaps you are sad that I'm leaving?

Don't lie to me, liebchen.

Are you falling a little in love?

Hmm?

Well, don't.

We don't do that, you and I.

Does anyone know about us?

Of course not.

They all assume when I sneak into your tent at night that I'm putting a mint on your pillow.

(chuckles)

(laughs)

How sweet.

You know... perhaps you could come out there with me.

I mean, before the others, huh?

You do know how to please me.

Are you able to drive?

I imagine I could learn.

Of course... when I have a-a normal suitor, you could simply pretend you are my chauffeur.

Which, of course, you would be.

I'm flattered that you would even give me a passing thought.

Go away now.

Oh, but before you do... bring me my... my cuddle, my darling.

Sleep well, Miss Elsa.

(sighs)

(chuckles)

Oh, Ma Petite.

(whispers): Je t'aime plus que les autres.

(laughs softly)

(sighs)

♪ ♪

You've pricked yourself climbing up the trellis, my poor thing.

It's worth it to have your hand on my face.

Mm, you smell so good.

Venetian Romance. (sniffs)

My favorite perfume.

Mm. (chuckles softly)

Mm.

Don't you want me, Paul?

I want you more than you know.

You're the softest, sweetest thing.

Like the roses in my mum's garden.

So why don't we make love? You didn't have any trouble when there were lots of people watching.

It was different that night.

I'm in love with you now.

You make me feel like when I was young, before life stole my innocence.

Before we make love, I want you to know me-- as a man, not just a lover.

I've got so much more to offer.

(pounding on door)

Vince: Who are you talking to?

Why is this damn door locked?

Because I was sick of living like a prisoner, you barging in here any time you like, day or night.

Heard you talking to someone.

I was listening to the radio.

Don't play the indignant card with me.

You about put your mother to the loony bin when you ran off.

And now this last little stunt where you disappeared again.

Coming home, looking like something the cat dragged in.

That will not happen again while you are living under my roof!

Okay, I'm not deaf.

Can I go to sleep now?

I'm your pop.

Just doing my job.

Making sure my little girl is safe.

Bette: Dear Diary, "happiness" is too small a word to describe how I feel.

The shades of gray that was my world has turned incandescent with color, so bright I can see them with my eyes closed.

The horizon appears unlimited to me now, as if I was a bird in flight.

Am I a fool, or has love opened my heart?

Hello, ladies.

Look what I have for you.

You must be famished.

I didn't know what you would wanted, so I had Cook make one of... everything.

(gasps): Oh. What's that?

Dandy: Caviar.

Beluga from Siberia.

I've heard of caviar.

It's outrageously expensive.

Dot: Bette.

It's slimy fish eggs.

So?

Nothing is too good for my girls.

Have a taste.

Go ahead.

Mmm.

Heaven.

(laughs)

You can have it with every meal.

Bette: Dot warned me about men and their sexual appetites, but her fears have proven unfounded.

Dandy is a gentleman through and through.

(giggles)

I've never felt this way before.

When he is near, my heart races so rapidly I fear I will faint.

Could it be that I've finally found the person I can't live without?

(laughs)

Dot: Dear Diary, what manner of servitude my sister and I have found ourselves in is not certain.

I trust you girls have everything you need.

I was hoping we could go back and retrieve some personal items from our tent.

Gloria: (laughs) That won't be necessary.

You've seen the last of that horrid place.

Make a list.

We'll replace everything you had with something brand-new.

You can have anything you want, Dot.

(chuckles)

I'll make sure of it.

Dot: We haven't been beaten, nor are we bound by chains. I have to wonder though what dark intentions await.

Here's something in the news that might be of interest. They performed the first surgery separating Siamese twins.

What does it say?

"The 15-month-old Brodie twins are in separate cots for the first time in their lives. A 12-hour, 40-minute operation severed the tissue, nerve cords and blood vessels that joined them."

Look.

Aren't they cute?

Dot: And suddenly it was clear why we were here.

They're adorable.

Dot: The lifetime it would take for me to save the money for the surgery?

Dandy had it at his fingertips.

(doorbell jingles)

Dot?

(chuckles softly)

It's Dorothy.

I go by my full name now that half of me is gone.

Yeah, I heard about the surgery.

I am so sorry for your loss.

Dot: I'm not.

Dale Carnegie said, "If you have a lemon, make a lemonade."

With Dandy's easy money, this gilded cage may finally set me free.

Thank you. Thank you.

(doorbell jingles)

Good day to you, sir.

A bottle of lady's perfume, if you please.

Venetian Romance, it's called.

We're out. Really?

Well, what's that there on the shelf behind you?

Oh. That Venetian Romance.

$1.10.

Dandy: Clerk!

Clerk!

I could find only one medium stiff-bristled faux bone-handled lady's hairbrush.

I require two.

Your selection is woefully lacking.

I could check around back.

Do so at once.

I know you.

You and your mum.

You tried to buy out the house. Oh.

You're part of that freak show.

Well, can't say we were very impressed with the quality of the presentation.

We will not be returning.

Seemed to me you liked it plenty at the time.

You tried to buy the Tattler sisters, as I recall.

I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about.

Now please don't speak to me any further.

Is this freak bothering you, sir?

Yes, as a matter of fact, he is.

He tried to pick my pockets.

(laughs) That's a laugh.

Get out.

We don't sell to thieves.

If I was a thief, I would have taken it, wouldn't I?

Get out or I'll call the cops.

Go ahead. I've got my rights.

You're not even American.

I have the right to refuse service.

And I'm refusing to serve you.

This place is overpriced anyway.

I'm going to take my business to Woolworth's.

They've got ice cream.

Good show tonight.

Yeah. The gate was a little lighter than usual.

People were coming to see those twins.

Nothing we can do about that now.

It doesn't bother you-- the way they just wandered off?

I guess they were never really happy here.

I ran into that weirdo at the drugstore.

You know, that rich kid who bought the house out a few weeks ago?

He was buying two of all these girly things.

Makeup, brushes.

What are you saying?

Well, think about it for a second.

Elsa hated them from the minute they got here for taking her spotlight away.

They go, and she's right back in it.

That Hollywood guy wants her again.

You shut your mouth!

Elsa has a dark heart, sure, but she saved every one of us, including me, you, and Bette and Dot.

You know your problem?

You can pass.

And when no one's pretending, all the bullshit and the noise just drops away.

From your position, Elsa looks like our guardian angel.

But from where I'm sitting, I see a jealous broad near the end of the line who'd k*ll anyone or anything that got in the way of her one last sh*t at it.

Oh, thank you, Dandy.

This is the perfect shade.

(chuckles)

Dot: "Siamese twin, "separated, dies alone.

"Roger Lee Brodie, the larger of the conjoined twins separated by a surgery hailed as a medical miracle, has d*ed."

But one survived.

Rodney is still alive. It's a blessing.

Bette: It's an abomination.

Science should never subvert the will of God.

Is that what you think we are?

God's will or God's cruel joke?

What's gotten into you?

We are what we are, and no amount of wishful thinking is gonna change that.

My arm, your leg.

Where do you end and I begin?

Don't you realize by now that we are always going to share everything?

My thoughts are my own, sister.

You like secrets, don't you, Dot?

I noticed your diary is always locked.

My diary is my sanctuary.

My one private place.

And Bette and I have made a pact never to read what the other has written.

We should have no confidences between us.

Let's make a deal.

I'll tell you a secret if you tell me one.

(laughs) I'll start.

Remember the murders?

The clown k*ller.

The abducted children.

I was there.

I k*lled the clown.

I saved those kids.

No.

The girl, too.

No, Jimmy would never lie about that.

You're the true hero.

Lobster Boy was unconscious.

Ask him yourself.

I told you a secret; now you tell me yours.

No.

What do you mean, no?

I mean... no.

We had a deal. Tell me your secret. Now.

You're making me angry, Dot.

(whispers): What's the matter with you?

Tell him something. Anything.

He lied about Jimmy.

I did not.

I did not lie, you bitch!

I don't like this game anymore!

You're not playing by the rules!

(gasps) Shh.

Anybody see you come out here?

No. Everyone's either asleep or drunk or in some drug-induced haze.

So what's the scoop?

The twins are gone for sure. sh*t.

Nobody knows exactly where.

Elsa claims they left town.

That's bullshit.

Twin girls don't get a bus ticket out of town without somebody noticing.

Well, they're not on the grounds.

Fine, so forget the twins, for now. But I need a payday.

We got to have something we can transport-- something easy.

I...

(clicks tongue)

Fresh catch of the day.

Jimmy?

Yeah. Just the lobster claws.

Uh, you, what... you want to cut off his hands?

Don't be squeamish. We're not gonna do it while he's alive.

Here.

What's this?

These are directions to the barn I'm renting.

You lure him out there.

You, uh, shake your pert little bottom, and I'll be waiting. I can't.

Why not?

Because he's leaving. That's perfect.

That way, nobody will ask any questions when he goes missing.

Stanley, think about all the blood.

I mean, there'd be so much to clean up, we'd have to get rid of a body-- I mean, there's just too many ways that could go south. You got a better idea?

I, uh...

Actually, I do.

You want something easy to transport? Yeah.

I got just the thing.

And it won't even fight back.

You nice lady. (giggles)

Maggie: It'll be quick, easy, and nothing for us to clean up.

Ma Petite: Hey!

Got some lungs on her for such a little thing.

Ma Petite: Let me out!

Hey! Hey!

Let me out!

Hey!

Let me out! Hey!

(whispers): Ah, ah, ah.

(yelling)

Hey, let me out! Hey!

(muffled grunting)

Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.

(grunting stops)

Maggie: We can shred some of her clothes, dump them in the bog.

Everyone will think some animal got to her.

Boy... you are ruthless.

When I have to be.

♪ ♪
♪ For the days dwindle down ♪
♪ To a precious few ♪
♪ September ♪
♪ November ♪
♪ And these few ♪
♪ Precious days ♪
♪ I'll spend with you ♪
♪ These precious days ♪
♪ I'll spend ♪
♪ With you... ♪

A little culture for the TV viewers.

God knows they need it.

Well... do you think they'll like it?

I think they'll love it.

Sleep well.

Wait. You're not staying?

Um, well, I'm just a bit dodgy tonight.

I've got a lot on my mind.

I wouldn't want to disappoint you.

What have you got on your mind, lover boy, huh?

Come over here.

Hmm?

Just a good night kiss.

You reek of Venetian Romance.

I can't imagine any of my monsters wearing perfume.

So tell me... who are you screwing?

I don't believe, Mum, that's any of your business.

It's all my business, you prick.

Who are you to talk to me like that?

Who am I?

Who are you? That's the real question.

You're certainly not the fairy queen you pretend to be-- quite the opposite.

It seems to me that we're all here to serve your deceitful and demonic soul!

Now, tell me... where are those twins?

The truth. Everyone's talking.

Everyone?

Talking about what?

The general consensus is that you've done something nefarious with those girls!

Sheisse. Pure sheisse.

Go wake them all up.

Wake them up!

(mutters)

No!

No, no, no, no, no!

Oh!

You ungrateful ingrates!

I rescue you from the squalor of your miserable existences, and this is how you repay me? Huh?

With accusations, disgusting rumors!

Now, which one of you believes that I had anything to do with the disappearance of those girls? Huh?

Speak up!

But you're not shy about gossiping behind my back, are you?

Go ahead, say it!

Say it to my face!

Toulouse, have you forgotten where I found you? Huh?

Shackled to that chain g*ng, chipping away at rocks with that pathetic baby pickaxe? Huh?

Have you forgotten who bribed the guard to let you out? Who?!

Elsa, you got it all wrong.

You two.

Rotting away in that sh*t-smeared orphanage!

Huh?

Even your sister didn't want you anymore!

Your family sent you away!

You'd still be lying there in that urine-soaked mattress, starving, gnawing on rats (whimpering) if I hadn't pulled you into the spotlight.

Look at these.

Look at these!

Trinkets!

Shabbily made!

Confectioneries!

They're all meaningless!

Meaningless! Meaningless!

You should be ashamed.

After everything that I have done for you, huh?

Everything that I have sacrificed for us.

(sobs softly)

For our family.

And I still... have not won your trust.

Jimmy: Elsa, calm down, please.

Of course we trust you.

Prove it to me!

How?

T-Tell us... a way.

How can we convince you?

The wheel!

Nobody leaves here until one of you is strapped in and proves to me your unadulterated trust and loyalty.

I will settle for nothing less.

I'll do it.

No. Me.

It should be me.

Try not to miss.

I always miss, darling.

That's the point.

Ladies and gentlemen, prepare yourselves for the most death-defying scene.

It takes but a split second for this Kn*fe to travel from my fingertips to the edge of the wheel.

A split second... that separates life from death.

Spin the wheel, Eve.

(wheel creaking)

(others scream)

Now, you may think that this man's destiny rests in Miss Elsa's hands.

But fate is the true master of us all.

(others scream)

And yet... fate is not unkind.

Reversal of fortune can be swift.

The pauper can be made king.

(grunts)

Oh, no!

Jimmy: Get him down!

Get him down!

Elsa: Oh, my God! What have I done?!

No, no! It was an accident!

Oh, God.

No, Evie, don't!

Oh! We need a doctor. (groaning)

Call a doctor! I'll see to it.

Take him to the caravan.

(groaning)

(g*n cocks)

Don't take another step.

Jesus Christ, Daddy.

A g*n? It's 2:00 in the morning.

You could've been a g*dd*mn intruder.

Go back to your room.

Or what, you'll sh**t me?

Here's the scoop, Dad.

I'm in love, and I'm gonna go see him right now.

I'm gonna have a life that means something, a life with some excitement, a life that's real.

Not this g*dd*mn middle-class hell.

You're not going anywhere!

Are you gonna sh**t me?

Well, go on then.

(laughs): I'd rather die right here on this staircase than live in this house with you another minute.

(door slams)

Shh.

The moon is beautiful.

Yes.

You are beautiful.

(chuckles): Oh... quiet.

Where we go?

There, that barn. That's where your surprise is.

A pony?

I dream to ride a pony. (laughs)

(Ma Petite giggling)

(sighs) We're gonna play a game.

I like games.

(sighs)

I'm gonna put you in this jar, okay?

Like butterfly?

Yeah. Like a butterfly.

(whispers): sh*t.

Penny... you came back.

Yes.

I... I'm looking for Paul.

What's going on?

What happened?

(inhales)

How is the pain, liebchen?

Oh, here.

Here. Have some more.

(coughing)

You know, the irony of it, I mean, after all the sturm und drang...

...I don't think that the spinning wheel act is right for The Elsa Mars Hour.

I think it is too raw, too difficult for most viewers.

Don't you agree? Hmm?

You never even called a doctor, did you?

Oh, how can you say that?

You know that's not true.

But, you know...

...I would not shed a tear if you were to die.

Not because you're a freak, but because you betrayed me.

(door opens)

Penny: Oh, my God!

I knew something had happened when you didn't come!

Speaking of cheap perfume.

Oh.

I'm sorry... my love.

Don't speak. Just... just hold my hand.

How long ago did you call for the ambulance?

What's taking them so long?

Well...

I don't know. They don't seem to be in any rush.

Help!

Really, Ma?

You're making a cake?

Cake was made.

No point in leaving off the frosting.

Ma, Paul could die.

I said a prayer for him.

Not much else I could do.

What did the doctor say?

The doctor never came. But Elsa said...

Elsa said a lot of things, like the twins ran away, but I'm not so sure, and neither was Paul.

He tried to tell me, but I didn't want to hear it.

If Elsa says, the twins ran off, then the twins ran off.

That's the end of the story.

Amazon Eve: Jimmy?

Jimmy, you in there? (knocking)

Is it Paul?

No. It's Ma Petite. Something's happened to her.

What? What happened?

I don't know.

She wasn't at breakfast this morning. She never misses breakfast.

I don't know where she puts it.

I checked her trailer, but she's not there.

All right, listen, don't panic, all right?

We're just gonna round up everybody, okay?

(both laughing)

Where you two been?

We got up before sunrise and went hunting fireflies.

Suzi made hotcakes.

Hotcakes!

Mm-hmm.

You two coming?

You guys go ahead.

Okay.

Fireflies, huh?

Yeah.

Though I think she'd prefer a pony.

Who wouldn't?

Listen.

Let's run away together.

Jesus. If-if we leave now, we can make it to Pensacola before dark.

Or south to Miami, or even the Keys.

I don't care where we go, so long as it's together.

Do you really mean it?

Damn right I do.

Just one thing I have to do first.

What?

Just have your bags packed.

(whistles)

Hi. (gasps)

This is the ticket I was gonna use to go to Philadelphia tonight.

Had plans to visit a certain museum.

In fact, I had called said museum, long distance, to tell them a package was arriving.

Wait, let me explain. I...

No, no, no. No. No, no, no.

Let me explain to you.

If your corpse were half as valuable as Ma Petite, you'd be soaking in formaldehyde right now.

Luckily for you, your dead body isn't worth anything.

The twins are still missing.

All the freaks are on high alert.

I can't just walk out of camp with her.

No more excuses. I'm turning this in, the cost of which will be deducted from your share, for the next train to Philadelphia.

And we're going back to my plan.

Which is what?

Get Jimmy to the shed.

I'm bringing those lobster claws to the museum.

Dandy, I brought you snackies!

Dandy: Go away!

I have RC Cola, too!

(crying)

Darling, why are you crying?

Don't fret.

I sent the twins on a constitutional across the grounds to get some fresh air.

They'll be back in half an hour.

(crying)

Is this what has made you so upset?

It's Dot's.

(sniffles)

Read it. Read it out loud. I want to hear it out loud so I know it's real.

"Wednesday. Oh, my God, when can we get out of this dreadful place? The house is a palace, but that man-boy, yuck. I've begun to associate the taste of caviar with the pain of listening to him drone on and on about the most boring subjects. And I lived my life a shut-in for 30 years, so boring me is not easy to do. I suppose I must continue to tolerate him in order to keep collecting enough money for the surgery. He gives me a ten dollar bill every time I laugh at one of his terrible jokes. I'd rather die than kiss him. Oh, well, at least the good news about the Brodie Twins lifts my spirits. Shame about the dead one."

Oh, darling.

The other one still adores you, doesn't she?

I know. Let's give the one who likes you one of my fox stoles or a tennis bracelet.

The other one will be green with envy and be practically begging for your affection in no time at all.

I don't want to buy love!

I wish you could be inside my body for one minute to know what it feels like to be me!

It's like when I had tuberculosis, and you took me out to the Utah desert, and there was nothing but dry open space for hundreds of miles around us.

That is what is inside of me.

Those girls were a cool stream of glacier water.

My heart bloomed as they nourished it.

And now it's all gone.

There is nothing left but the dust and the scorpions inside of me.

I was never destined to feel love.

(panting)

The desert knows no mercy.

Anything you try to plant out there dies.

I must accept this emptiness as a blessing, not a curse.

I know why I was put here, Mother.

My purpose is to bring death.

(doorbell rings)

(doorbell rings twice)

Gloria: Can I help you?

I'm here to see your son. I'm a friend of his.

My son has no friends.

Hey, it's Jimmy from the freak show.

Remember me?

Let him in, Mother.

He's here for the girls.

(door closes)

Bad luck for the birthday girl not to have a hunk of her own cake.

(chuckles softly)

And the rest?

They're with Paul.

I think they just don't feel like celebrating right now.

Of course not.

A family must come together when tragedy strikes.

And we are the only family most of us have ever known.

I had a sister once.

She was born two years before me, but she d*ed as an infant.

I don't think my parents ever recovered.

I think I was meant to heal their pain, but... (chuckles) ...I just reminded them of what was lost.

I had to create a family. Everyone here-- they are all my babies. My special ones. I love them all.

(chuckles softly) But you... You are the sister... I never met. (crying softly) That's why I saved you from that hell you were in.

Why don't they know my heart?

You got one in the belly.

(sighs)

Between that and the twins disappearing, faith and loyalty only take people so far.

(sniffles)

(sighs)

I'll tell you one thing. If I ever find out you were lying and did wrong by those girls, I'll k*ll you with my own two hands.

Now... make a wish.

Elsa: I just want to be loved.