01x12 - Episode 12

[bunniefuu]

[announcer on PA] The 13:25 train
to Paris Gare du Nord

is about to depart from platform three.

[Dexter] I don't understand.
I thought it was going through.

What's left to discuss?

["Obsolète" by MC Solaar playing]

The food mixer?
Why does she want the food mixer?

[French hip-hop continues]

The barbecue?

Uh, I don't have a garden.

As she knows, I don't have a garden.

Merci.

[indistinct chatter]

[French hip-hop fades]

- Hi.
- Hi.

- You look different.
- Do I?

If this was a fancy dress party,

you'd have come
as sophisticated Parisienne.

[chuckles] Right.
And what have you come as, then?

Ugh, I've come as f*cked-up,
suicidal divorcé.

Well, at least you're not bitter.

- Shall I just get back on the train?
- Nah, not yet. Come on.

How far away is your flat?

Uh, oh, I thought we'd, uh, go
for a walk first. See some sights.

Oh.

Okay.

Is that all right?

Of course. Yeah.

- [Dexter] You didn't have to meet me.
- [Emma] Of course I did. Tourist.

[Dexter] Paris suits you.

[Emma] Yeah, I love it here.

[Dexter] I can see that. You've changed.

[Emma] In two months?

You look beautiful.

- So when were you last in Paris?
- [Dexter] Hmm. About three years ago.

My wife and I came for a mini-break.
Stayed at the Georges V.

So that was a waste of f*cking money.

Do me a favor. If I mention it again,
could you just push me in the canal?

[chuckles] I don't... I don't mind.

But it's not why I came.

Okay.

I mean, we should talk about it.

What happened.

Yeah, we can.

Just later.

[gentle music playing]

- [Emma] Here?
- [music fades]

Shall we get some wine?

Not for me, thanks. Sort of off it.

Oh, really? How long?

A month or so.

I mean, it's not AA or anything.

Just, you know, trying to avoid it.

Nothing good ever came of it, so...

Okay. Uh, just coffee, then.

Just coffee.

[Emma orders in French]

[chuckles softly, clicks tongue]

- Ooh, uh...
- Dex, listen, I have something I...

- Please, can you sign this for me?
- No. Don't be ridiculous.

You've got to. Something...
Something personal with today's date.

Just in case you get really famous
and I need the cash.

Have you even read it?

Uh, I started to.
I just didn't get past page four.

Emma, I thought it was wonderful.

It's just a silly kids' book.

"The most exciting new voice
since Sue Townsend."

- Said the publisher's 12-year-old niece.
- Said The Sunday Times.

I read it in one go,
and this is coming from someone

who's been reading Howards' Way
for the past 15 years.

[chuckles] You mean Howards End.
Howards' Way is something different.

Whatever.

I loved it.

[softly] Okay.

[sniffles]

Don't read it now. Read it later.

[Dexter clears throat]

So tell me. How are things?

Divorce goes through in September.

Just a month before our anniversary.

Almost two whole years of wedded bliss.

Have you spoken much?

Not if I can help it.

We've stopped screaming abuse
and throwing things.

Now it's just, "Yes," "No,"

"Hello," "Goodbye."

More or less
what we said when we were married.

Did you hear
that they've moved in with Callum?

Yeah, I know. Tilly told me.

Yeah, some ridiculous mansion
in Clerkenwell,

which is where we used to go
for dinner parties. Yeah, so...

[sighs]...that's pleasant.

Do you speak to Callum much, or...

God, no.

He's tried.

Yeah, he leaves me messages.
All gruff and cheery.

Like, "All right, mate.
Let's, you know, get some beers."

"Give me a call.
We'll talk things through." [sighs]

w*nk*r.

[scoffs]

Maybe I should go.
He still owes me three weeks' wages.

[sighs]

And how's Jazz?

[clicks tongue]

[somber music playing]

- Sorry. We don't have to talk about this.
- No, it's fine.

Um, I've got her once a fortnight.

One lousy overnight stay.

Could you ask for more time?

I could, but...

Even now you can see the fear
in her eyes when her mom drives off.

"No. Don't leave me here
with this weird, sad freak." [chuckles]

And then I...
I buy her all these presents, Em.

It's pathetic. It's pathetic.

I... You know.

[clicks tongue]

There's a pile of them
every time she arrives.

It's like Christmas morning every time.

[somber music building]

Because if we're not
opening presents, then...

I don't... I don't know
what to do with her.

If we're not opening presents,
then she just...

She just starts crying...

[inhales sharply]

...and asking for Mommy.

By which she means
Mommy and that bastard Callum.

And I don't even know what to buy her.

Because every time I see her,
she's different.

It's, uh, you know, you turn your back for

a week, ten days, and...

uh... everything's changed.

And she started walking.

For Chrissake, she started walking,
and I missed it. [sniffles]

How? How can I miss that? I mean, isn't...

[crying] Isn't that my job?
f*ck, I'm sorry. Bollocks.

Sorry.

Not the plan. Not the plan.

[Emma] Stop saying sorry, Dex.

- You don't need a plan.
- [sniffles]

Right? It's only me.

[somber music fades]

["Pitseleh" by Elliot Smith playing]

♪ I'll tell you why ♪

♪ I don't wanna know where you are ♪

♪ I got a joke
I've been dying to tell you ♪

♪ Silent kid is looking ♪

♪ Down the barrel... ♪

[Emma] My place
is about half an hour from here.

Don't be imagining huge windows,
parquet floors, or anything.

It's just... It's just two rooms
over a courtyard. [chuckles]

Garret.

- Yes, exactly. A garret.
- [song fades]

- A writer's garret.
- [laughs]

"My gap year," says Emma, aged 33.

Living the dream.

Well, officially, I'm working. Book two.

Nisha Halliday goes on a school trip
to Paris and falls for this French boy,

Luc Grenoble.

- Luc Grenoble.
- Mm.

So here I am.

Doing the research.

Where have you gone?

[clicks tongue] Ah. Dunno, Em.

It's like

when I was younger,
everything seemed possible, and

now it's like nothing does.

You've just lost your confidence.
That's all.

All right, you've had a shitty,
shitty time.

But at some point, you are gonna think
of this as a new start.

What's going on with work?

- Not much.
- Okay. There's lots of things you can do.

Like what?

I dunno. Media.

You could try for presenting jobs again.

- Oof.
- What about photography? Or food?

- You could do something with food.
- I don't have the experience.

I'm not really qualified for anything.

- You've got a degree.
- A low 2:2 in Anthropology.

Hey. People will always
need anthropologists.

[chuckles]

[sighs]

So, that's your pep talk?

That was it. How was it?

I still wanna jump in the canal.

[groans] Come on. Let's go.

[gentle acoustic guitar music continues]

It's just here.

[keypad clicking]

[door buzzes]

Here we go. Chez moi.

- Ah.
- ["Pitseleh" fades]

[Dexter] Oh, wow. Is that...

[Emma] Book two? Yeah, but don't read it.
It's a work in progress.

[Emma grunts]

- [chuckles] Oh, sorry. Sorry.
- No.

Dex, Dex, Dex, Dex, Dex.

Sorry. Sorry about that.
I'm just a bit, um, self-conscious.

The thing is, Dex, I've met someone.

Uh, you... you... you met someone?

Yeah.

Uh...

Okay. Who?

[hesitates] His name's Jean-Pierre.
Jean-Pierre Dusollier.

He's French?

No, Dex. He is Welsh. [scoffs]

Well, um...

[clicks tongue] Yeah, that's... that...
Uh, good for you, Em.

That's really great.

- I just wish you'd told me.
- You just got here.

Yeah. No, I mean before. Before I came.

Well, we haven't spoken much, have we?

Apart from the odd email,
and now here you are.

- Yeah. I came to talk about what happened.
- What's to say? We slept together once.

Three times.

I don't mean
how many acts of intercourse, Dex.

I mean the occasion.

Okay. The night.
One night together. A single night.

Yeah. Next thing I know,
you've run off to Paris

and thrown yourself
under the nearest Frenchman.

Thrown myself? Oh, f*ck off, Dexter.

I don't mean that, obviously.

And I didn't run off.
The ticket was already booked.

Why do you think
that everything happens 'cause of you?

Could you not have phoned me, maybe?

- What? To ask your permission?
- No, to see how I felt about it.

To talk about that night.

- Maybe what it meant. I don't know.
- This is amazing.

You're annoyed
because we haven't examined our feelings.

Because you think
I should've waited for you.

No, not waited.

[scoffs]

What?

You do realize
there's a certain amount of irony in this?

How?

[inhales sharply] Look. If you wanna talk
about that night, let's talk about it.

- We were both quite drunk.
- I wasn't.

Dex, you tried to take your pants off
with your trousers still on.

It wasn't that bad. Was it?

[chuckles] Don't fish. Come and sit down.

[Dexter sighs]

I think... you were very upset
and quite pissed that day, and

you came over, and it just happened.

With everything going on with Sylvie,
and not seeing Jasmine as much,

I think you were lonely,
and I was a shoulder to cry on.

Or to sleep with.

That's what I was.
I was a shoulder to sleep with.

- So that's what you think?
- That is what I think.

So you only slept with me
to make me feel better?

Did you feel better?

Yes, much better.

Okay, well, so did I. There you go.

It was pity sex.
It was... It was pity sex.

It wasn't pity, and you know it.

Well, I've been thinking about it.

A lot.

I haven't stopped thinking about it.

Ever since it happened.

You and me.

Yeah, I've thought about it too.

In the late '80s,
it was all I thought about.

- And now?
- Now?

Our time's passed.

How can you know that
unless we give it a try?

Because I know, Dexter.
Because I've met someone else.

And I'm not something you can resort to
when every option has been exhausted.

That's not what's going on.

It was just sex, Dexter.

With respect, Em, that's bollocks.

With respect, Dex, you can't rock up here
when you're on your uppers and think,

"Good old Emma.
Can always fall back on her."

- I am not the consolation prize, okay?
- I do not think that.

- It's the opposite. It... It... It's...
- [buzzer sounds]

Who's that?

[scoffs]

It's Jean-Pierre.

[sighs]

[under breath] f*ck.

- [speaks French]
- [Jean-Pierre speaks French on intercom]

- [speaks French]
- [Jean-Pierre speaks French on intercom]

[footsteps ascending staircase]

[Emma] Let's be nice?
I thought we could eat.

[Dexter] Good idea.

[footsteps approaching]

- [Jean-Pierre] Hey.
- Hi.

[Jean-Pierre speaks French]

[both speak French]

Um, Dexter, Jean-Pierre.
Jean-Pierre, Dexter.

- Nice to meet you, man.
- Hi.

Um, I have heard so much about you.

[takes a deep breath] Oh.

[chuckles]

Famous Dexter.

- [laughs] Oh.
- [Jean-Pierre] Yes.

Yes.

Yeah. So tell me everything about Emma.

Everything?

Where to begin? [chuckles]

Uh, no. You... you first.
How did you two meet?

Uh, in the bistro.

Yes, she... she was reading,

and usually people
who read in public places,

most often they're just
pretending to read, right?

But she was totally focused, and, uh...

I was intrigued.

So I asked her about the book,
which was L'Étranger by Camus.

[clicks tongue] I haven't read it.

It's okay. Anyway, uh, she was reading it
in the original French

and talked a lot about Camus.

That's how I discovered
that she's a... a real nerd.

A pretentious nerd. [chuckles]

[Jean-Pierre] Yes. Yes.

Exactly. But, uh,
you already know that, right?

Yeah.

Yeah, I do. [chuckles]

Right. So we've booked a table for seven.

- L'Éguille.
- Cool.

I'm sorry it's early,
but I couldn't get a later one.

[Jean-Pierre] Oh no, it's fine.

Shall we go?

Yeah, no. Actually, I'm sorry.
I think I've, uh...

I think I've picked something up
on... on the train.

I... My neck feels swollen.

Swollen glands or something. Um...

I think I'm gonna get, uh, an early night.

Oh. Okay, are you sure?

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, go.

Or I can stay.

No, definitely not. Just go. Go.

Sorry to be boring. [chuckles]

I'll be fine tomorrow.

Bye.

I'm gonna stay at Jean-Pierre's tonight,
so you can have the bed.

I'll be back in the morning.

Feel better.

[somber orchestral music playing]

[sighs shakily]

[shower running]

[music fades]

What is it? What's wrong?

[speaks French, sniffles]

What?

[chuckles] It's French for "tonsillitis."

Your pretend tonsillitis.

I told Jean-Pierre
I was coming down with it too.

[chuckles softly]

[repeats French phrase]

["Earthing" by Vanbur playing]

♪ Oh, my light trips ♪

♪ Is it on fire, is it cold? ♪

♪ Oh, my heart sleeps ♪

♪ Do I need you, love? ♪

♪ You were born earthing ♪

♪ Earthing ♪

[tender music fades]

[both panting]

If you muck me about, Dexter.

- I won't.
- No, I mean it.

If you lead me on,
or let me down, or go behind my back...

[chuckles]...I will m*rder you.

I swear to God, I will eat your heart.

I won't do that, Em.

You won't?

I swear.

[Emma groans]

- [Dexter] What?
- [laughs, sniffles]

[grunts]

I just thought I'd finally got rid of you.

I don't think you can.

["The Book of Love"
by The Magnetic Fields playing]

♪ The book of love is long and boring ♪

♪ No one can lift the damn thing ♪

♪ It's full of charts
And facts and figures ♪

♪ And instructions for dancing ♪

♪ But I ♪

♪ I love it when you read to me ♪

♪ And you ♪

♪ You can read me anything ♪

[music fades]