05x13 - Welcome to the Last Dance

[bunniefuu]

Aw, our baby broke up with his fiancée,

and he's out there suffering.

Eh, he's okay.

He's just waiting for Necie

to come get her stuff.

But he's in pain. And he looks hungry.

I'll take him a snack.

No, no. No, no, no, no.

Babe, sometimes you

just got to let a man

be strong and power through it.

- Oh, hey.

- Hey. Hey, guys.

What's Marty doing out on the sidewalk?

Yeah, hey, Marty,

- what are you doing

- Hey, hey, shh.

He's waiting for Necie.

Aw, he looks hungry.

See, that's what I said.

Will you give the man some privacy?

Yes. Okay.

Look, this is something he's

just gonna have to go through.

Niecy's here.

She's getting out of her car.

Oh, is he going to shake her hand?

Oh, no, no, no.

No, it's looking like a hug.

Oh, no

It's a side hug.

What? No. Not the side hug.

That's what you give

your cousin at church.

Oh. Uh

Uh, N-Necie saw us.

- Hey, Necie.

- Hey.

How you doing?

So, how was the drive over?

You know trafficky.

Ah. Yeah.

Hey, Necie, we're sure we're

doing the right thing, right?

I think we are.

And there's no reason

it has to be awkward.

Hey, Marty, have you seen this

cursing baby on TikTok? It's

Oh, damn.

- Hey, Necie.

- Hey, Malcolm.

So The coffee grinder.

You should keep it.

No, no, no, you.

You know I got somewhere

to be that is not here.

Where the hell are my keys?

Look, I am happy getting

my beans ground at the store.

I mean, I know I saw them right here,

but, uh, I'm gonna just

to go ahead and walk.

Y'all Yeah.

I want you to keep it.

And before I forget

Oh, the ring.

Oh, damn.

Uh Where's my other shoe?

You should keep it.

Oh, no, no, no.

Necie, I bought it for you. It's yours.

You know what?

I ain't going far.

One shoe was plenty.

I'm gonna just, uh

hop on out of here. Yeah.

Tina.

Look at this.

The wedding reception venue

charged my credit card.

I left them five voice mails

letting them know

the wedding was cancelled.

Why are they charging me $10,000?

Calvin, is money that

important right now?

Our son is right next door about to

say goodbye to the love of his life.

And his poor dad is about

to say goodbye to $10,000.

Well, at least we'll get some money back

when I take back this dress.

Ah, that's true.

There's a couple of hundred bucks.

What's so funny?

Oh, my goodness.

What happened to your other shoe?

I don't know, Mama.

But things were extremely

awkward over there.

I had to get the hell out,

shoe be damned.

Goodness. Were they fighting?

No, it was worse.

They were being super

nice to each other.

And then she offered to

give him the ring back.

Well, as she should.

No wedding, no ring.

Why? It was a gift.

That's what Marty said.

And he refused to take it back.

H-Hold on, now.

That-that ring was a contract.

And that contract is void.

I agree. It's like

when you cancel your cable.

You have to give

the company the box back.

Marty is not Spectrum. He's a person.

And if we hadn't gotten married,

I would've kept the ring.

Who told you that?

Hey, guys.

What are y'all talking about?

- Cliff diving.

- Horses.

Pickleball.

Ah, so me, then.

Aw.

But we were just

worried about you, baby.

I know, mom, and I

appreciate it, but I'm fine.

- I even started eating again.

- Oh.

You see that? I told you he'd be fine.

I wasn't worried at all.

You are a Butler man. Strong.

Well, one bummer is you

guys won't get to see

me and Necie's first dance.

I really nailed that paso doble.

- Aw.

- Yeah,

well, no one got to see Dave

and my first dance, either.

This is a hilarious story.

Do you want to tell it or should I?

- Go ahead.

- Okay.

Uh

Gemma and I had been

practicing our dance for weeks.

And then we get to the reception,

and the DJ gets on the mic

and says, "Calling Mr. and Mrs.

Johnson to the dance floor."

And then, get this.

I'm sorry.

Gemma, you go. You tell

them. No, I got it, okay.

Then my mom jumps up,

grabs me and takes

me to the dance floor.

So your first dance as a married man

was with your mom?

Yeah, yeah, you get it.

I-I told you it was funny.

That's not funny.

No, uh, Gemma, tell them.

We have been laughing

about this for years.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, funny.

Hey, uh, Joe?

Calvin Butler.

I left you, like, 14 messages.

Ah, yes, Mr. Butler. So nice to see you.

Don't worry about all this.

It'll be cleaned up by Saturday.

Actually, uh

that's what I'm coming to tell

you. We've got some bad news.

My son called off his wedding.

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that.

Ah, thank you. Thank you so much.

He's gonna be okay. He's strong.

But, uh, how do I get my money back?

You put it back on the card?

Is there a check? Uh, Venmo, Zelle?

I'm sorry. Unfortunately,

if you had read your contract,

you would see that all

payments are non-refundable.

Believe me, I get it.

You know, I'm a businessman,

and you got to protect

yourself from flaky customers.

But my son is no flake.

Yeah, he just realized

at the last minute

that he didn't want to get married.

I don't think you understand

the word non-refundable.

It comes from the root word refund,

which means to pay back,

and non, which means to not do that.

Ah.

I don't think you understand the

roots of the word ass whupping.

Which comes from the act

of me whupping your ass.

Okay, all right, Calvin, I-I

think he knows what it means.

Look, pal.

You signed the contract, all right?

The only way out

is through an act of God.

You're a smart guy.

You know what an act of God is.

Like an earthquake.

Oh, yeah, there's definitely

gonna be some furniture

- moving around here.

- Okay, I-I

Everyone just calm down.

I-I'm sure there's a way

that we can work this out, yeah?

We already worked it out.

You paid for my venue.

I provided the venue.

Doesn't sound like a problem to me.

Ooh-hoo!

Ah

You know what, Dave? He's right.

I did pay for this venue,

so I'm gonna use this venue,

and I want everything

I'm being charged for.

But you said the wedding's cancelled.

Oh, the wedding is cancelled.

But the party? Oh, the party is on.

What do you mean we're

still gonna have the party?

The guy was gonna charge me anyway.

Babe, you should've seen his face

when I told him

we gonna go ahead with it.

Well, it sounds like

you're doing this out of spite.

Uh, yes.

You know the saying.

"Spite makes right."

Yeah, I don't think they say that.

Okay, look at it this way.

We're gonna take this sad occasion

and turn it into a celebration.

A sad-lebration.

Okay, Daddy, we're gonna

keep workshopping the name.

But sure. I mean, we have a great venue.

We already invited all our

friends and family. Let's do it.

See? That's my boy.

Now, will there be cake?

Eh, I don't think so.

Well, actually, we already

paid for the wedding cake.

Then there will be cake!

Oh, look at you.

You kept the dress.

Yes, I did it for the people.

- They deserve to see me in it.

- Mm-hmm.

Oh, hold still. Let me

get this tag off for you.

No, no, no, Gemma.

Okay? Don't take it off.

This dress is going back to the store

as soon as the party is over.

Aw, I know it's expensive,

but you should keep

Oh, oh, no!

That's got to go back. Mm.

Everything okay, Mr. Butler?

Now, Joe, I believe

the contract calls for

a flight of condiments.

There it is right in front of you.

All I see is ketchup and mustard.

No aioli? No chimichurri?

You can't have a flight

without chimichurri.

I believe that's a breach of contract.

No, no, no breach, no breach.

Now get this man chimichurri.

What's wrong with you? Go!

It'll be here shortly.

Now, that's what I'm talking about.

Hey, Tina, can I talk

No!

Get back!

Gemma, get your man!

She is already mad at me.

I've been going around for years

pouring salt in a wound that

I didn't even know she had.

Well, Dave, then fix it.

I'm trying, but I can't

change what happened.

But you can change what happens next.

You mean

I don't know what you mean.

Now she's mad at me, too.

Hey, little bro, I see, uh,

I see you out here

all by yourself, dancing.

You sure you're all right?

No, I'm not all right,

because you not dancing.

If you're on the dance

floor, you got to dance.

Yeah, but Marty, Marty,

I'm being serious, little bro.

Dance!

Okay, look, I'm dancing, all right?

But now you got to be

you got to be real with me, okay?

Now, I am your big brother,

and if this is all too much for you,

let me know and I will

shut this place down.

W-What is going on?

We're dancing, Daddy.

Marty says if you're on the dance floor,

you got to dance, Pop.

Hey.

All right.

But why are we dancing with each other

when all these beautiful ladies

are just out here sitting down?

I mean, that one right there

has been eyeing you for ten minutes.

You mean cousin Yvette?

- That's cousin Yvette?

- Uh-huh.

Okay, well, maybe not her.

And shame on you

for eye-groping this boy.

I'm gonna tell your mom.

Oh! Yeah. I'm starving.

What do we have here?

Vegan pigs in a blanket with

a cashew cheese dipping sauce.

Ugh.

That is so disgusting.

Marty. Come on.

It's not that bad, man.

No, it it's not that. It's just

This whole day was supposed

to be about me and Necie.

We picked out everything

from the playlist

and the color scheme,

even those disgusting fake hot dogs.

Now everything's just reminding

me of what's never gonna be.

I'm sorry. You guys just

you guys just dance without me.

Is he doing a sad moonwalk?

Yeah, because he's sad, Pop.

Look, you keep saying that Marty's fine

because that's how you deal with stuff.

That's not who he is.

You know, things happened so

fast between him and Necie

he barely had a chance to process.

Hmm.

I guess

my boy never really

did get closure, huh?

And here I am

turning up like it's

my album release party.

I got to do something.

Hey, hey.

Really?

The bride and groom cake topper?

I told you the wedding is off.

You paid for the topper.

God forbid you don't

get something you paid for.

Hey, Necie, can we Oh!

Oh! Oh, whoa. My God.

So sorry, Mr. Butler.

What are you doing here?

Look, I know it's weird, but, um

we're having a little get-together

and I thought it'd be more fun

for everyone if you came.

Is the party, by any chance,

at the charter club?

It is.

Couldn't get your deposit back, huh?

Okay.

Yes, you got me, all right?

I am a cheap man.

But look, I just wanted to have a party

to get Marty's mind off

what's happened with you two.

How's that working out?

Not good.

But that's why I'm here.

I didn't realize how much he was hurting

until the vegan pigs

in a blanket came out.

Did everyone enjoy them?

Mm-hmm.

You know, this day was supposed to be

a celebration for the both of you.

And I know Marty would really

be happy if you came.

I appreciate that, but I just can't.

It would be too hard on me.

Yeah. Yeah, I-I could see that.

I had to try though, huh?

All right.

Get back to it.

You know

Necie, I just wanted you to know that

that Marty's not gonna be

the only one that'll miss you.

We all will.

You were part of our family, and

we never got a chance

to say a real goodbye.

I'm gonna miss you guys, too.

Uh

I'd give you a hug,

but I'm really sweaty.

Oh, it's all good.

I jogged in from the parking lot,

so I'm sweaty, too.

Okay. Yeah, go.

Go. Get-get back to it.

Oh! Napkin! Napkin!

Napkin! Okay.

Ladies and gentlemen,

quick announcement.

If you have a silver Prius

parked in front of the dumpster,

you are about to be towed.

And now, please turn your attention

to the dance floor,

where I present to you

Mr. and Mrs. Johnson!

What? No, you didn't.

Uh, yes, I did.

- Get your butt out there!

- Oh!

Soulja Boy off in this ho ♪

Watch me crank it, watch me roll ♪

Watch me crank that Soulja Boy ♪

Then Superman that ho ♪

Now watch me you,

crank that Soulja Boy ♪

Now watch me you, crank

that Soulja Boy ♪

Everybody, join the happy

couple on the dance floor.

Now watch me you,

crank that Soulja Boy ♪

Now watch me you, crank

that Soulja Boy ♪

Now watch me you,

crank that Soulja Boy ♪

What the hell did I miss?

Watch me lean then watch me rock ♪

Superman that, ho ♪

Then watch me crank that Robocop ♪

Super fresh, now watch me jock. ♪

My team's gonna start cleaning up now.

I don't think so.

If you recall,

I paid for the hall until midnight.

It's 11:48.

You're a smart guy, Joe.

Is that midnight?

I don't like you.

Oh, and I want all

these leftovers boxed up

and put in my truck.

Get this man some damn boxes.

Oh, hey, hey, Marty.

Look, man, I want to apologize.

I was raised to be hard

and never express my feelings.

But sometimes being Butler strong means

being strong enough to

admit when you're hurting.

Did I not tell you that part?

No.

No, you pretty explicitly

said the opposite.

Yeah Look,

I'm sorry if I made you feel

like you had to be tough, for me.

Are you okay?

I will be.

Thanks, Dad. Yeah. All right.

Oh.

Hello.

Hi.

What are you doing here?

Your dad told me the vegan pigs

in a blanket were delicious.

Yeah, yeah, everybody loved them.

You want some?

Uh, there's a lot left.

No-no, thanks.

How you doing?

I'm okay.

Considering today was supposed to be

You know?

Yeah, I know.

It's too bad.

I was really looking forward

to seeing you do the paso doble.

Well, you still can.

Maybe we should give them a minute.

We can give them exactly seven.

So, Pop, where do you want this

vegan stuff in the garage fridge?

No, the garbage.

I just wanted to make Joe pack it up.

All right, the last of the food,

and I haven't gotten

a speck on my dress.

Hey, Marty, have you seen my keys?

No, man, I

Oh, wait, what is this?

Is that the ring?

Yeah, it is.

Necie must've stuck this in

my pocket while we were dancing.

Well, all right.

What?

The boy don't need to be

brokenhearted and broke.

Mrs. Butler, I must say,

once again, you look great

in this dress.

Well, enjoy it, because this

is the last time you're gonna see it.

Please tell me that was your spine.