05x05 - It's A Girl!

[bunniefuu]

Previously on "I am jazz"...

Me!

Jazz: there's definitely a sense of happiness among the family.

The surgery is gonna be a major turning point in my life.

The most common complication that we see is,

We sew up all the wounds with stitches.

It's not uncommon for the skin edges to actually come apart.

If that happens, what do we do right away?

Call --.

I went and had a routine medical examination,

And the doctor says, "you have an abnormal heartbeat,"

And I'm going into a procedure myself.

Jeanette: my super-superhero dad, who's in perfect shape,

Has to have another procedure?

I'm just overwhelmed.

Today is the day of the surgery!

I am so excited.

I woke up this morning, like, ecstatic.

Dr. Bowers: and the Kn*fe.

This is the first time this exact surgery

Has ever been done.

Tough case, see?

She's the most difficult case

That I personally have encountered.

I don't even want to think right now about what's going on.

Just a time game now. Ticktock, ticktock.

♪♪

--Captions by vitac-- www.vitac.com

Captions paid for by discovery communications

♪♪

Sander: it's been about an hour since jazz went in,

And just about the entire family is napping,

Except for me and mom.

I'm awake.

Jeanette: I am not going to sleep well

Until we are done, we are home,

She is healing, she's resuming life.

We've all heard many times that little things can go wrong.

You know, this is something that you can't predict

What's gonna happen.

You can't foresee,

And I am so scared.

[ Sighs ] ugh, it's so hard. All right.

Gonna be brave.

Dr. Ting: can we have some local?

Heavy scissors, straight scissors?

Dr. Bowers: in my dreams, I was hoping this was wider.

It's a tough surgery

Because there's so little skin to work with.

Jazz, as a medical case, is really a conundrum

Because she was blocked before she really went through puberty,

And she never developed enough penile skin

To create a vag*na.

And so the early struggle in the case

Is to get enough graft material to line that space.

Dr. Ting: well, we can come past the crease on this side, marci.

Okay.

Dr. Ting: we're extending her incisions

All the way out on one side, almost to her hip,

To get an extended skin graft.

You have any skin hooks?

Dr. Bowers: this surgery is absolutely groundbreaking.

We're using traditional skin grafting methods

From the lower groin region,

And then dr. Ting and the mount sinai team

Came up with this peritoneal lining surgery

So that we can get extra material to line the vag*na.

Dr. Iskandar: first, we're gonna start

By working in the right walls.

I want to look on the anterior abdominal wall,

So flip the camera down.

Dr. Ting: dr. Iskandar is a laparoscopic surgeon,

So he's making a couple of small incisions inside the abdomen

To remove this peritoneal lining,

This tissue that we will then use as a graft

To make the deep part of the vag*na.

Stitch, please.

Dr. Bowers: the peritoneal lining

Is a smooth, glistening surface

That lines the inside of the abdominal cavity,

And it has the ability to secrete lubrication,

So it can be very effective for use in creating a new vag*na.

Dr. Ting: you know what? This needle's dull.

Can I get a new stitch?

Dr. Bowers: there are a lot of variables

And a lot of potential risks.

Although we're confident about what we're doing,

You never know, and there's always on-the-job,

On-site decision making that has to happen.

♪♪

Did you get any word as to

When jazz would be out of surgery in here roughly?

Jacky: /, hours, right?

Jeanette: yeah. I'd love an update.

Ari: it definitely feels surreal

That the gender confirmation surgery is finally here.

This is something we've been waiting for, for so long,

And I just can't wait to see my sister transition

Into the person she really truly is inside.

Jeanette: when I think about everything that we've been through,

It's just unbelievable that we made it to this point.

This has been years and years of thinking about this

And then planning this.

Yes, I want to do it, %.

Jeanette: every time we thought we got to a certain place,

Then something came, and we had to restart.

We don't have the raw materials

We need to make what we're used to.

Jeanette: and it was just, like, curve balls and extra steps...

Woman: and you'll start to feel sleepy here

In just a few seconds, okay?

...taking the blocker out, losing weight.

I cannot do surgery if you are not perfect.

And then, you know,

We thought it was gonna be in california.

Now we're doing it in new york.

Now we have this peritoneal lining thing.

I'm like, "can we just take a deep breath

And just kind of sail through this?"

-Here we go. -The peritoneal is coming out.

Dr. Bowers: okay, all is well.

Beautiful now, right?

Dr. Ting: beautiful, beautiful tissue glands.

Mm-hmm.

So we just finished the peritoneal dissection,

Which is by far the most difficult part of the operation,

And it was very successful.

Jim, how does the graft look?

Yeah? Good.

The graft, which will be inserted inside

And become the new vag*na,

Is literally a patchwork of different materials --

The inverted penile skin, the peritoneal graft

And the groin skin that we harvested,

So it truly is a quilt.

So that's the exciting part. That's really revolutionary.

Hey, jess? -Yeah.

Do you want to do the clitoris?

Yeah. Let's have a look-see.

Dr. Bowers: we have to do things like create a urethral opening

And a clitoris opening and a clitoris itself

All in this little operation of about / to hours.

And, bobbi, just turn it down about , would you?

-Turn it down ? -On the clotter, yeah.

Dr. Ting: we used the head of the penis, which is packed

With nerve endings, to create the clitoris.

And because we keep all of the nerves intact,

The patient will have a functional

And sensate clitoris that can achieve orgasm.

Jeanette: why do I keep looking at that clock?

It's all gonna happen whether we're standing at the door

Or sitting here waiting.

Jeanette: I am definitely on edge.

It's a long time, a lot of hours to pass

And just keep my mind busy.

We really don't know how long we are away

Because that's the way things are.

The longer surgery takes, the more little crazy I get

Because I always associate the longer you go,

The more complications perhaps, or any complications.

♪♪

Dr. Ting: all right. Let's sew the graft on.

May I see the graft?

Dr. Bowers: after we developed the new vaginal cavity,

That quilted portion is inserted inside.

Dr. Ting: that's your peritoneum.

Dr. Bowers: the creation of that vaginal cavity is very risky.

That is where most of the very,

Very more serious complications could occur.

I think now that we're about to sink this thing

And put it in, think we need just a couple more sutures here.

We could do that.

Kn*fe back. -Can we do it?

That's the part that makes me nervous.

Dr. Bowers: I have concerns about how tight the skin is

Because of where we took the grafts,

And then the limited amount of penile skin, we really...

We've got a tremendous amount of tension on the incisions.

Like, still, there's tension there.

Dr. Ting: this is really tough.

Skin's not going to where we need it.

It's gonna be hard to get the result

That we want with what we have to work with.

We're not sure how we're going to get to the finish line.

Dr. Bowers: wait, there it is. There it is. There it is.

Dr. Ting: all right, quick, quick, quick!

-Hurry, hurry! -Stitch, hurry, hurry, hurry!

-Woman: it's real tight, though. -Dr. Ting: hurry, hurry.

♪♪

-Yes? -Sam.

My name is sam. I'm from the operating room.

Jack: oh, great.

I just wanted to give you all an update.

So dr. Bowers wanted me to let you know

That the surgery is gonna be about to / hours.

-Jacky: still? -Sam: yeah.

It was a little after hours since we had last saw jazz.

I thought that was gonna be an update to say,

"Jazz is done."

I'm not quite sure what exactly is happening.

My mind is racing, and I just am crossing fingers and toes

That everything's okay.

♪♪

♪♪

Dr. Ting: maybe we should reflex her, take the tension off.

You know, like in a tummy tuck.

Dr. Bowers: all right, good idea. - Vicryl.

We're gonna just extend the incisions up into the groin,

Get a huge, huge skin graft.

Dr. Ting: we came up with this idea to stretch her skin.

That's sort of similar to what we do in a tummy tuck

Where we take the abdominal skin,

And we pull it way down like a window shade.

I'm gonna do these, these tensioning stitches.

We're gonna get this down under no tension,

So it's just going to fall in to that space.

I was able to use a cutting-edge suturing technique,

These tensioning sutures,

To pull all of her abdominal skin down to the vag*na.

Dr. Bowers: the idea is to take tension off the lower incisions

By gradually ratcheting down the lower abdominal skin.

Dr. Ting: oh, look at that. Look at that.

Woman: you wanted to -- you wanted to, um...

-Dr. Ting: no tension. -Woman: that's awesome.

Okay. Can I see the small dilator with some lube on it?

-That's fantastic, see? -Awesome.

You dunk it now, and no tension back there.

Dr. Ting: and they said it couldn't be done.

I'm really relieved.

That was the secret sauce that allowed us to use

Every centimeter of skin that she had efficiently.

-Fantastic depth. - Inches.

It's better than I had hoped for,

And I wasn't expecting that we'd be able

To get this beautiful a result

And with this much depth, inches.

Dr. Bowers: oh, it's pretty, jess!

-Woman: yeah. -My god.

Dr. Ting: I think it's pretty good considering, right?

-I think it's really good. -Dr. Ting: but at the same time,

I know that we're not out of the woods yet.

She's got a long road of healing ahead of her,

And lots of speed bumps could come along,

So cautiously optimistic.

Can you believe it, marci? We did it.

I know. It took a long time,

But it was well worth the effort.

-You guys excited? -Griffen: I'm anxious.

-Yeah? -Anxious.

You're going like this with your hands.

-I'm anxious. -Yeah.

Knock, knock.

-Oh, doctor's here. -Ah!

Hello, everyone!

Dr. Ting and dr. Bower.

-We have news. -We have news.

♪♪

It's a girl! -Yeah!

[ Laughter ]

We did quite a collaboration.

My expectations were reasonable,

But this has gone way beyond my expectations...

Wow.

...for function, for depth, for the appearance.

Just absolutely, it's really, really, really, really nice.

-Yeah. -Yeah.

Home run.

I want to come hug you.

Oh, my goodness.

What I enjoy most about what I do is,

I get to come to work every day and change someone's life.

It's a privilege. It's an honor. It's the coolest thing.

How long before we could actually...

-So many... -...go see her in recovery?

I mean, we can walk a couple of you over now,

And we can head there. -Oh, really?

-Oh, mom, dad. -One, two. Let's do it.

♪♪

Dr. Ting: look who we found.

Yay!

[ Kisses ]

[ Whispers ] how you doing?

I'm doing perfect.

It's a girl!

♪♪

How you feeling?

Still a little sleepy but so happy.

So happy.

Look, you gave me tears of joy...

-Thank you so much. -[ Chuckles ]

...for you. [ Sniffles ]

-We love you so much. -I love you, too.

They say I may have gotten to...

To inches of depth.

-Wow! -Dr. Ting: . .

Jeanette and jazz: ?

We were at the last dot, /, .

-[ Jeanette laughing ] -wow.

Jeanette: what is that face? Oh, my god.

And girls aren't competitive about their vaginal depth,

So let's get that straight.

Hey, it's what I wanted. [ Laughs ]

Jeanette: to see the look on her face, it's priceless.

She is, like, at peace in so many ways right now.

-Hello! -What's up?

-Mwah! -[ Chuckles ] "what's up?"

How you doing? -Good.

How do you feel?

-So good. -"So good"?

Ari: I heard it looks beautiful.

-Sander: you look beautiful. -Jazz: I'm so happy.

Ari: you do look good.

One, two, three, smile.

Sander: love you, jazz, very proud of you.

I want to tell you that we got the most fabulous report on you,

And you have the most beautiful vag*na

In the whole wide world.

Everybody's gonna go upstairs.

Dad and I will sit here, but you can sleep.

You can stay?

Yeah, we'll stay, but you don't have to talk, okay?

Jeanette: jazz has been so strong, and I'm so proud of her,

And I know she's got a wonderful future ahead of her,

And I want all good things for her.

And she has the body she's always dreamed of.

♪♪

♪♪

You want some fruit?

I know you're not big on strawberries.

I like strawberries more than I used to now.

We've talked about it a little bit, but how do you feel?

Like, you don't have a penis. Like, you have a vag*na now.

One time, just, like, over the band-aid,

I gently touched it, and I didn't feel anything.

-It's gone. -I was like, "oh, my god."

Jazz: it still feels like I have a penis,

But it's also different.

Everything feels internalized now.

I feel my muscles are the same

And all the connections are there,

But it's in a different place now,

So I have to feel sensations in one area

That I didn't feel it before.

It's really hard to explain and describe,

But it's just so cool.

That's the physical side,

But just mentally, how do you feel?

Feel really, really great.

Like, in the middle of the night, when I was awake,

Even though I was in pain, I just closed my eyes,

And I was just so, so, so happy.

Well, on day after surgery,

Jazz is a-plus, plus, plus, plus, plus.

She's got her appetite. She's feeling pretty good.

The pain is minimal, and she looks...

Oh, my goodness. I mean, she's glowing.

Come in.

-Good morning! -Good morning.

-Good morning, everyone. -Yay!

-How we doing? -Doing well.

-Doing good, thanks. -Good morning.

-Dr. Ting: how's our patient? -Hi!

-Hello. -Hi, beautiful!

-Hi. -Gosh, you look amazing.

Thanks.

You look, like, bright-eyed and comfortable and...

Yeah, I'm really happy. I just...yeah.

You're all glowy and all amazed, but I really want --

I want to bring it back because, you know,

This is gonna be alongrecovery.

Mm-hmm.

I mean, this is full months, and even up to a year,

We're gonna see changes. -Mm-hmm.

But I have concerns,

And those have to do with the skin that we brought down.

It's very tight all along that area.

During recovery, jazz could be in for complications

That are just inherent in any surgery of this type,

But in particular, how tight the skin is,

It can be a problem because it can put tension

On the incisions. -I just want to warn you --

Tomorrow is gonna be a worse day.

-Mm-hmm. -Oh.

You still have some of the pain medicine on board.

Later today and probably tomorrow is when it'll hit you.

Okay.

Jeanette: I have mixed feelings about what the doctors

Had to say because there's a lot of question marks.

They said a lot of great things about her progress,

And that was really positive, but then we have no way

Of knowing what is around the corner.

So I'm gonna be as optimistic as possible

But guarded -- very, very, very, very guarded.

♪♪

♪♪

I'm glad we're able to get out, ari.

[ Door bell jingles ]

♪♪

Let's get, like, a few healing stones,

So if she wakes up, and we're not there,

It'll be like, "oh, we were getting you a gift."

Definitely.

Any moment I'm not with jazz in the hospital, I feel guilty,

But I have to admit, it does feel good to get out with ari

And do a little shopping.

How do we know which ones are for healing?

Well, you read the things.

Yeah, but I can't... I can't do that.

I'm gonna have to ask somebody. [ Laughs ]

Well, I know that fluorite is.

You see that really pretty one right there?

-The one that's $? -Yes.

[ Laughs ]

Uh...

Like, no, not gonna happen.

Everybody's about to leave us, ari.

Mm-hmm.

It's gonna be you, me, and jazz.it is.

Jeanette: greg, my parents, and the twins

Are flying back home in a few days,

But I'm really grateful that ari will be here with me.

I'm so glad that I have you...

Yes.

...because I couldn't do it without you.

Ari: me and my mom are really close.

I love spending time with her,

And I'm willing to take on whatever I need to, to help her,

And I'm gonna be there for them %.

It is the summer of healing.

Jazz is gonna get better.

Sander and griffen are gonna patch their differences.

What's going on with that, though?

You're around it up at school.

Like, I wasn't there. You watched it unfold.

They just bicker like they're married or something,

But they're siblings, so it's normal.

Yeah, but they were never like that.

Jeanette: when I heard that the boys went to box,

I thought maybe they'd get some of their frustration out.

Maybe this would bring them to a better place.

Instead, they got all roughed up.

You want to punch me in the face? Here.

♪♪

You backed up, bitch.

With jazz healing, we're gonna have to help her,

And I can't have those two going at it with each other.

That'll just drive me nuts. But...

You want the worry stone?

Worry?you hold it when you're worried.

For $., It'll make me more worried.

[ Laughs ]

♪♪

It's day , and I have been resting and recovering.

It's hard to be stuck in bed and not being able

To do things for myself, but this morning,

I was able to walk a little bit, and I'm feeling really good.

Dr. Ting: so how was yesterday?

Yesterday went well.

I slept a lot, so I was good. -Okay.

Well, can we take a look? -Yeah, sure.

Let's just take a look, check your dressings.

Dr. Bowers: so jazz, days out...

Amazing.

She really looks terrific.

She's got her color back.

The bottom area looks just superb.

I actually think she's going to be able

To leave the hospital tomorrow.

Okay, so what do you think?

Is it time to get out of here?

I don't know. Whenever you guys say.

Everything is going well. I mean, I think you can go.

We'll prepare everything so that you can leave in the morning.

Jeanette: to be honest with you, I would love jazz

To stay in the hospital as long as possible.

I feel she's in good care there, around-the-clock nurses.

Instead, we are going to a hotel down the street

To continue jazz's recovery,

And I'm worried about going back to the hotel.

I don't feel % confident about that.

You feel comfortable with the plan?

Yeah. So everything comes off on monday.

Yes.

I feel like I'm gonna be able to breathe.

Knowing that the next time I see dr. Ting,

I'm gonna get my catheter and packing removed,

And I'll be able to see my vag*na for the first time,

I am so thrilled and excited.

♪♪

♪♪

About to leave the hospital.

I've finally survived the hard part,

And I'm just so happy that I finally have my vag*na.

-Mwah. -[ Laughs ] oh, god.

-I love it. She is... [ Laughter ]

Sander: grandpa, spotlight's on you.

Jacky: "the vag*na monologues."

She says, "vag*na," like it's the word "the."

Here he comes.

-Hi. -My name is sam.

I'm gonna be the one discharging you today.

-Sam the man. -Jazz: awesome.

"Sam the man," that's right. [ Laughs ]

How you feeling today, jazz?

-I'm good. -Time to get up.

Jazz: it is so thrilling to be leaving the hospital today.

I have been in here for a couple of days, and it feels like

I am stuck in one place were I can't even control anything,

And leaving the hospital is really the next step

On the recovery journey.

Griffen: bye, felicia. [ Laughs ]

-Bye. -Let's get outta here!

-Jazz: bye. Thank you all. -Greg: bye, everyone. Thank you.

I have mixed emotions about jazz leaving the hospital.

I'm happy that things are on track,

But I'm concerned that if there's any emergency,

The doctors are not readily available.

Smile before you go. Smile.

Greg: I do have some concerns that if anything goes wrong,

I won't be there for jazz and jeanette,

But I don't really get the sense

That there's any major problems that lie ahead,

So I think, at least from where I sit right now,

Jeanette and the family will be able to handle things

Without me there.

We're almost there.

I'm re-entering the world.

And then you're gonna feel one more bump.

-Aah! -See?

Griffen: do we need to lift? We need to lift?

Jazz: someone needs to lift on the other side as well.

Got it. I got it.

I didn't think that bump would be that bad.

-Jeanette: takes a village. -Sam: you okay?

-I'm good. -Okay, good.

I hope that seat is all the way pushed back already.

I'm gonna take this off, okay, now.

Okay. I just want to get up.

[ Click ][ gasps ]

Ooh, I'm sorry. Should have warned you about that.

Jeanette: it's okay.

Jazz: getting out of the wheelchair,

The leg thing snaps down, and then I feel a pop,

And with it, I felt this crazy pain.

[ Crying ] I felt like an incision just popped.

I just don't know what's going on.

♪♪

[ Crying ]

[ Siren wailing in distance ]

I'm gonna take this off, okay, now.

Okay. I just want to get up.

[ Click ][ gasps ]

Ooh, I'm sorry. Should have warned you about that.

Jeanette and ari: it's okay.

Should have warned you about that.

[ Crying ] I felt like an incision just popped.

It just doesn't feel...

Jacky: okay, okay. Hang on.

[ Crying ]

It just -- everything feels like it's really bad.

I feel like everything is pulling and popping.

Nothing -- nothing pulled off.

-You're in there really secure. -It's because you have it...

Ari: that's because you're healing still.

-It's really tight. -I know.

It just doesn't feel right.

I really just want everything to be stable.

You're gonna be in a bed in a few minutes, okay?

We're getting you to a bed.

Jazz: I'm really worried at this point

That all the stitches had blown out

Because I am experiencing a lot of pain.

Be very gentle.

Jeanette: when jazz said she felt something pop,

It literally freaked me out inside.

I'm like, "are we rushing back to the hospital?"

I didn't let her know.

We were all like, "it's okay, jazz."

I'm trying to comfort her, but I don't know what this pop was,

And I can't tell her that it was no big deal.

Do you want me to look?

Will that make you feel better, if I look?

Yeah.

Because I know what it looked like before.

Let me just look discretely. Nobody can see.

There is no pulling.

There are stitches that I can't even see

'Cause it's all tied together by whatever the glue stuff is.

We're good. -It still just hurt really bad.

Jazz: once I'm finally settled in the hotel room,

My pain is subsiding a little bit,

And while I definitely felt some type of tearing,

I think I'm okay, but I gotta be careful.

So you got your post-op consult in days,

So you got tomorrow to rest, and then you go on monday.

Jazz: the next step is to go to dr. Ting's office

In a couple of days and get my catheter and packing removed,

And I am just so, so, so excited

Because I'm finally gonna see my vag*na

In the flesh for the first time, and I can't wait.

I'm flying out of town tomorrow morning.

Grandma and grandpa are flying out of town

With me tomorrow morning.

Jeanette, you gonna be all right without us?

I don't know.

Are we gonna be all right, jazz?

Mm-hmm.

Jeanette: my mom is my mommy.

My dad's a doctor.

My husband is my rock, and they're all leaving.

This isn't the way I would plan it.

I'd have everybody stay

Until it's time for jazz to leave, honestly.

But you know what? Nothing I can do now.

That's not how life works out,

So I got to step up to the plate,

Do what I have to do.

♪♪

♪♪

Are you excited to be out of the hospital?

Oh, I'm excited to be out of the hospital.

Why?

Because I'd prefer for you to wipe my butt

Than a random person.

-Okay. -It's true.

We're here, finally, in the thick of caring for jazz.

Can you fix my pillow? My neck is hurting really bad.

Most of the family is about to leave,

And now the responsibility falls on me,

And I'm about to be nurse jeanette.

This is a test run, so we will find out how it goes.

Move this long one first.

-You want it gone? -Yeah, for now.

Put the white one back.

Can you center it a little more?

Like, it's not centered. Do you know what I mean?

Okay, now get the long one. -Like that?

I need to get up and do it myself.

You have such o.c.d., Jazz.

-Is it time to dump my urine? -Yeah.

What if it turns out I'm allergic to latex?

What? You don't know if you are or aren't allergic to latex?

-I don't think so. -Nurse mommy is funny.

I seriously need this to be held up while I do this.

Jazz: my mom is not the best nurse

When it comes to technical skills.

She is just scrambling around,

But the fact that she's trying so hard

And cares for me just means a lot.

If this comes sh**ting at me, I'm gonna freak out.

Jeanette: I have never changed a catheter bag,

And now I have to, like, be in charge of it.

It's my duty to change the piss.

What's that?

-It's your pee. -Is it going into that...

Oh, sh**t. Ew, ew. You see that?

[ Laughing ] oh, I saw that.

Oh, no.

It went on my leg, right? -Yes.

This is really a struggle.

Can I go wash the urine off my pants?

Yes, you can go clean yourself.

Jeanette: I'm surprisingly not freaking out.

It went well.

I can do this, and I'm doing it.

-Mom? -What?

Do you think you could get the other long pillow?

I can see this is gonna be a lot of fun. [ Sighs ]

♪♪

That is not gonna fit.

There you go. Hold on.

Okay. There's another bag.

I don't think I'm gonna be able to fit another bag, but...

It's hard knowing that my dad and my grandparents

Are going home, and my brothers are leaving in a couple of days,

But I've been so grateful to have them there by my side

To support me throughout this entire surgery.

-Hello. -Jacky: hi.

What a sweet joy it is to be able to leave,

But at the same time leaving you.

I'm not ecstatic that I'm leaving before jazz and jeanette

And the rest of the family are heading home.

I'll see you, jazz.

Bye. See you soon.

But I think, at least from where I sit right now,

Jeanette will be able to handle things without me there,

And hopefully they'll be home soon.

-You stay well. -Okay.

It is daunting knowing that greg is leaving.

Things are going pretty well,

But in the back of my mind, I'm always gonna worry...

We'll call you as soon as we get there.

...because who knows what could happen?

We're gonna start taking things off.

-Right now? -Right now.

I am just so desperate to see my vag*na. I'm so excited.

Give me a mirror. I want to see it.

I'm gonna send this picture that I just took over to him.

Jazz: all of the sudden, overnight,

My vag*na just, like, changed.

This is basically, like, my worst nightmare.

[ Crying ]

♪♪

Jeanette: we're gonna do your hair,

And we need you to brush your teeth.

Where's your toothbrush, jazz? In your bag?

It's in -- it should be in a bag.

Jazz: we're going to dr. Ting's office,

And I am so desperate to see my vag*na.

Having this catheter and packing has been so annoying,

And I am just so excited

To finally get a look at what I got.

I'm sure it's gonna feel so weird,

Like, because right now, I have mesh and, like,

Packing all the way up, but once it's taken out...

-Ew. -...i'm gonna be like...

-Griffen: free. -It's gonna be like a void,

And it's gonna feel so different.

It's like getting your braces off times .

I am excited for jazz to see her vag*na.

All right, let's do this, jazz.

I mean, they said that it went better than expected.

I am expecting to see themost beautiful vag*na.

Jazz: right where we started.

Jeanette: this is what she's wanted for so long,

And it's like the unveiling -- ta-da!

I have a nice view. [ Laughs ]

-Really? -We can't see anything, jazz.

Ari: it's dark, though.

-Hi. -Hi.

-What's up? -Hi!

-How are you? -How's it going?

-Good. -How has the pain been?

It's been okay. So-so.

I'm dealing with it. -Yeah, you look good.

-Thanks. -We're gonna do...

We're gonna start taking things off.

-Right now? -Right now.

-All right. -Okay?

-So... -Normal!

...should we close the curtain?

Jazz: I'm just ready to be free

From all of this packing and dressing

And tape and bandages and catheter and this and that.

Those things are so uncomfortable,

And I'm tired of being attached to all these tubes,

Just free vag*na. My girl needs to breathe.

Ooh. -Jeanette: it's kind of...

Dr. Ting: okay, catheter is coming out.

Here we go. It's out.

Cool. I felt it coming out.

The catheter is out, looking good.

It looks good? Looks good.

What does it look like, mom?

-Looks like a vag*na. -Really?

I can't really explain how it feels to look

At jazz's genitalia and see a vag*na,

And the penis that I've seen is gone.

There's nothing that prepares you for that.

Isn't that amazing? Yeah, I kind of want to see.

I want to see now. What do you think?

Good. It's beautiful.

Really? A-plus, plus.

Okay, can you get me the... It's really nice.

Give me a mirror.

...some scissors. I want to see it.

Okay, let's get her a mirror.

Oh, my god.

E-jeanette: that's you! -That's crazy.

It's really cool.

That is crazy. I have a vag*na.

-Yes, you do. -Oh, my god.

[ Laughs ] yay.

[ Chatter ] it's a pretty vag*na!

Okay, do you see the different parts?

Yes.

Your clitoris is right behind here.

-Okay. This is your clitoral hood.

These are the labia minora, and here's the labia majora,

And the vag*na is right here in the center.

Wow.

Seeing my vag*na for the first time, I am just so astounded.

It looks magnificent!

I wasn't sure what to expect.

I didn't know if it was going to look ugly and bruised,

But it looks really good like a cisgender vag*na.

Now I got to dilate. This is the hard part now.

This, I think, will be hard for you because you're so petite.

We'll see. -We'll see.

You guys are gonna have to help me the first couple times.

Because wounds have the natural inclination to close up,

In order to keep the vag*na deep and wide, you have to dilate,

Which is when you insert this hard acrylic object

For however so minutes and do that multiple times a day

In order to maintain that depth and width.

-Still hurting? -Not awful.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, it's not too bad.

A little bit of bleeding. This is totally normal.

It can bleed when you're home.

[ Exhales slowly ]

It's starting to hurt a bit more now.

That's /, inches. It hurts.

Okay. We're gonna stop there.

That would be good depth in someone who's,

Like, -foot-, so... -Oh, jazz.

Jazz: the first time I dilate, I get inches of depth,

And it is so, so crazy to me.

I don't know how dr. Ting and dr. Bowers

And dr. Iskandar were able to pull that off.

So congratulations.

Thank you. It looks so great.

It's so cool! D-o you like it?

Yeah, I'm so happy.

You did a great job, you and marci.

Jazz: I am just so happy that I have this new vag*na,

This new deep vag*na.

So are you thinking we're gonna need

A follow-up visit next week?

Yes, you need a follow-up visit.

Okay. It will happen.

It is not safe for you to travel right now.

Mm-hmm.

And do you think after that, we could go home?

Well, maybe. Let's see how she's doing.

Mm-hmm.

I'm sure there's gonna be some healing problems,

Some wound separations, some wound dehiscence.

I can almost bank on it.

-You think so? -I know.

I know so, cause, you know, things were tight.

Mm-hmm.

So let's just not stress the incisions.

So when you say wound separation, what does that mean?

What will happen?

The... Well, like, what's now like a thin line,

What you see, just like a scar,

It'll actually probably be right here in the back, will separate

So that instead of seeing skin, you'll see some of, like,

The flesh underneath, this red stuff.

Ew.

Jazz: when dr. Ting mentions wound separation

And says there's a high risk that it might occur,

I am freaking out a little bit,

And I just can't get those two words out of my mind,

And I'm hoping I don't have to experience that complication.

♪♪

Do you feel better now?

Because you were dying to get that stuff out of you.

-I just feel wet. -You're gonna.

Oh. This is an open wound.

I figured it would be painful,

But I thought, like, I don't know.

After getting the packing and catheter removed,

I expected that the pain wasn't gonna be too bad,

But I am just feeling super uncomfortable right now.

My vag*na still has a lot of healing to do.

Jazz, what do you think it's gonna be like

To finally pee for the first time?

I don't know. I'm gonna...

I think I have to pee a little bit now.

Should I go?

I'm not coming with you, but, yeah, go for it.

Do you need -- can you do this on your own?

You don't need any help, do you?

Mnh-mnh.

I haven't used my vag*na yet for peeing,

And it's definitely gonna be weird

Peeing out of a different body part than I had before.

-Jazz! How's... -Eh?

Is it working?

Um...

I don't really know how to pee.

It's the same thing, jazz.

Just push.

Run some water.

That always helps. I don't know.

Nothing is really coming out.

Mom, can you come help me?

I need new gauze and a new pad.

Welcome to womanhood. I don't know what to do.

It's barely any blood! No, no.

Look at all this. That's nothing.

You should see when you get your period.

When jazz was little, I helped her with her diapers.

She's not quite in diapers now, but, you know,

It's all bodily functions.

Never thought I'd be here again, but there I am.

I'm still her mommy.

Jeanette: no, that does not go...

Women do not throw pads in the toilet!

Oh. Yeah!

Okay. How'd that do?

That was a fail. It was a fail.

But she learned that you can't throw sanitary napkins

In the toilet.

So I just went pee for the first time.

Let me just say it was an experience.

The pee was going, like,

Sideways, and it was really weird.

It was hard to, like, push out because I didn't...

Like, I didn't know how hard to push to pee.

It was, like, really weird, and now

I don't even think I got all my pee out.

I think I'm gonna have to go again soon, so hopefully

I'll figure out how to pee properly

Because right now, I'm struggling.

vag*na problems.

♪♪

♪♪

How you feeling?

Want me to call over there? Come?

It's okay.

So I'm gonna send this picture

That I just took over to him and to marci.

Yesterday, jazz was getting progressively upset

Because her wounds were definitely separating,

And she formed, like, a blister.

Like, it's almost like a blood blister.

I sent a picture to dr. Ting, dr. Bowers,

And he's gonna make a decision right now

If she's gonna go back in the or or not.

I'm just, like, freaking out. I don't even know.

So many mixed feelings.

I'm like, "this is not happening."

Maybe should I take your temperature?

He might ask if you have a fever.

Jazz: this is basically, like, my worst nightmare, you know?

The surgery was just going so excellent,

And the recovery process was perfect.

Now, all of the sudden, overnight, my vag*na

Just, like, changed,

And now it's something completely different.

[ Cellphone chimes ]

What'd they say?

He's coming here.

-He's coming here? -Mm-hmm.

Jeanette: I am shaking inside.

For him to come over based on a photo

That I sent him, what does this mean?

I'm really...

Petrified.

♪♪

♪♪

[ Knock on door ]

-Jeanette: good morning. -Dr. Ting: hi. How are you?

We're hanging in there.

-Hey. -Hi.

-How you feeling? -Okay.

She took a shower. She changed her clothes.

Okay. Let's take a look.

Dr. Ting: you know, I was a little surprised.

Jazz is young and healthy, and normally patients

Like that heal really quickly. But instead,

It just looked like the sutures were starting to spread,

And the color of the skin right along the edge of the wound,

You want it to be nice and pink,

But it was looking dusky, kind of bluish,

Which can be a sign of too much tension,

There not being enough blood supply.

So I was pretty worried at that point.

She's separated a little bit on both sides,

Which, again, you did kind of know was a possibility.

-Jeanette: yeah. -But there wasn't a lot of skin,

So I'm just worried that everything here

Is under a lot of tension.

I don't want, you know, that last stitch to pop,

And then everything will just go,

You know, like a window shade.

Plus, the way it just sort of rapidly

Got worse over the course of day,

That was like, "oh, maybe we should just intervene early."

Yeah. And taking her to the or

Would allow us to take a good look on the inside,

Really see what's going on. There's good lighting.

We have good instruments. Mm-hmm.

As the incision opens, it can pull the entire graft

From inside the vag*na out,

And then we would lose her vaginal cavity.

So we need to intervene to do something --

The skin graft, we suture it, something.

Does she stay overnight in the hospital tonight?

Would it be several nights or just the one?

Maybe a couple of nights.

We'll just see how she's doing.

-So I should pack up. -I would pack up.

I feel dizzy, light-headed, nauseous, and sad,

And I hate to use the word "nightmare,"

So I'm not gonna say, "it's a nightmare,"

But this is so far from anything I ever imagined.

This is not where she thought she would be at this point.

Okay?

Hands are cold.

♪♪

Love you. -I love you, too.

I'm just thinking about when we first came to this hospital

And how happy and excited I was. -I know.

♪♪

Let me just put her purse in here.

Thank you.

Jeanette: I'm just really upset, and if I feel this way,

I could only imagine how she feels,

So I put on a brave face for her,

But inside, I'm just dying right now.

You've got this. You got this, okay?

You're the strongest, bravest person I know.

[ Sniffles ]

You're gonna get through this. It's gonna be okay.

[ Crying ]

♪♪

♪♪

You just want to say "good-bye" to her?

-Yes. -[ Speaks indistinctly ]

-Okay. Love you. -I love you.

Gonna be fine. I love you.

Wake up. See you in a few.

You're in good hands. -I know.

We'll take good care of her, okay?

-I know. -We promise.

I trust you %.

♪♪

-My room? -Yeah.

-Thank you. -Man: you're welcome.

[ Elevator bell dings ]

-That's no problem, take you up. -I'll keep you updated, okay?

Okay. Thank you.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[ Crying ]

♪♪

I'm just really scared.

♪♪