05x09 - I Want To Meet Your(Transphobic) Mom

[bunniefuu]

Previously on "I am jazz"...

Greg: ahmir is coming to town today. We're gonna meet him.

I really hope that I like him.

You're planning to go back to school?

Ahmir: right now, it's all up in the air.

Ahmir: I'm definitely feeling reserved.

I'm feeling very reserved right now.

Will you be my girlfriend?

Yes, I will, ahmir.

It's so cool to feel like someone really understands me,

And I love where it's going.

-So healing is coming along... -Yep.

...but it doesn't look like what I wanted to see.

Does that require another skin graft?

Yes, one surgery, probably two.

This news is just really devastating.

Dr. Bowers: no, I think an exam in person

Would be really beneficial.

What if I was to come down in and facetime with dr. Ting?

Our main concern is that we're gonna be back to square one.

[ Cellphone dings ]

I'm afraid to look. Oh, it's just ari.

"Jazz is missing."

Try to call jazz.

Your call has been forwarded

To an automated voice messaging system.

She's got a boyfriend, and we don't know much about him,

And what if there's some kind of problem?

I don't want my mind to go places because if I do,

Then I'll have a nervous breakdown.

--Captions by vitac-- www.vitac.com

Captions paid for by discovery communications

-Unbelievable. -Does it make sense

That she wouldn't be picking up her phone

Or that ari wouldn't know where she is at this point?

It doesn't make sense, but nothing makes sense, greg.

Let's go. Let's get out of here

And figure out what's going on. -Okay.

I'm with you on this one.

Sorry about the romance.

Is there still chocolates in the room?

Maybe we'll just have that for dessert.

♪♪

♪♪

Hey. What's up?

Really?

Greg: disappeared on us last night.

-I'm sorry. -You really worried us.

-I just... -Jazz, don't...wait.

Picture this.

Dad and I are also having a romantic date,

A wonderful romantic date,

And then I get a text from ari,

And I call her, and she couldn't find you.

I didn't mean to scare you guys. I was just preoccupied.

I wasn't looking at my phone.

I feel bad for making my parents worry about me so much,

But I'm almost years old,

And I would rather talk to my parents about how ahmir

And I are official in our relationship status

Rather than them grilling me about not answering my phone.

I didn't do anything on purpose.

I really was just with ahmir and was focused on him

And what we were doing

That I didn't see my phone right away.

It happens.

But I have told you to keep the ringer on next to you.

I usually keep it around me all the time.

Well, ari didn't know where you were.

Well...

So...

Why do you guys always have to worry

About where I'm going all the time?

I worry about where all the kids are.

Jeanette: when she's upset about something,

She will literally get up and go,

And jazz is fully aware

That when she goes off the radar,

That we're all gonna freak out.

And I think she's at a point in her life

Where she really wants to push back

And maybe even shut us down altogether.

When I'm , maybe you could give me

A little bit more independence?

It shouldn't be necessary

To know everything I'm doing at all times.

I don't need to know everything.

I just need to know you're safe.

I get it. I get it. I get it.

I understand, and that's why I apologize.

Jazz: I am so grateful to have parents

Who love me as much as they love me,

And I love them so much in return,

But now that I have a dating life,

I definitely feel like my parents

Should just give me my own space and freedom.

I don't want them being on top of me

For every little thing that I do.

Just be conscious of it in the future.

Just have it around you with the ringer on.

Okay? Deal?

Yeah. I'll try to do that.

Greg: jazz appears to be

Looking for her independence,

And we've always given her enough space

To make her own decisions, but it seems like dating

Is piling on to this independence need.

And also during our romantic dinner,

We got a call from marci bowers.

Okay. What happened?

So marci threw us a curveball.

Greg: basically, she's coming down here.

She just wanted to... -Consult.

Do you know why she wants to examine me?

Who knows.

Jazz: I'm not really sure why dr. Bowers

Wants to see me in person.

I already have a third operation scheduled in new york

To get a skin graft to repair

A lot of scar tissue in that area

And make it more cosmetically appealing,

And now she wants to examine me, so I just...

I don't know what she's looking for.

She could come down, and she could change her mind,

Saying, "oh, we need a more heavy-duty surgery,"

Or she could say, "okay, we're getting the surgery

That we planned," or she could say, "oh, look.

You look good. We don't need surgery at all."

Things could go any way.

♪♪

Ari: the more you walk, the sooner you'll be able

To do other things with me besides walking.

Yes.

I can't wait until... -You're active.

...until I can actually work out

And do full-blown movement,

But I'm meeting up with marci.

She's coming down to florida, and she's gonna examine me,

And we're getting ready for this next surgery,

So I don't know how

That's gonna hinder my recovery process,

And if I'm going to be bedridden again.

Like, imagine that.

Let's hope for the best.

I'm sorry for giving you, mom and dad a scare last night.

It's okay.

I was just preoccupied hanging out with ahmir,

Enjoying my date with him.

-Was it romantic? -Yes.

Jazz: ahmir makes me feel really, really great,

And I feel like he really understands me,

And I understand him, and we have a great connection.

Day by day, I see him opening up more and more,

And I'm so glad because he's going back home in a few days,

And I feel like I'm finally cracking him open.

We had this sunset-kiss moment.

So you're better at kissing now or...

Yes.

He also officially asked me to be his girlfriend.

Ari: I'm really happy to see jazz is finding romance.

Being transgender,

It's definitely been a hard road for jazz

To find people that are interested in dating her,

And it's really awesome to see that ahmir is accepting

And that he likes jazz for jazz.

That's exciting. You have a person,

And you kind of, like, are committed to that person.

I'm also turning soon.

I'm gonna be an adult. -Yeah, that's crazy.

What happened when you turned ?

Did anything change for you in your life or no?

I think I went and bought a lottery ticket or something.

That's silly.

How do you think it's going to change you

Because you sound like you're...

Sounds like it's a big deal for you.

I feel like just for many years, it's been obvious

That I'm a very independent person,

And, like, once I'm , I could be independent

But legally live alone at the same time

And be living my life.

More and more, I've been thinking about

Moving out of my parents' house.

While my parents have always supported me,

And they have been so great throughout my entire life,

I feel like I have accumulated a good amount of money

From my youtube videos and my advocacy work,

And I just want to create my own space

And get my own freedom.

I want to look for apartments and try to get a glimpse

Of what the pricing looks like

And how to live independently on my own

And, like... What?

It's true.

Ari: jazz has talked a lot about moving out over the past

Maybe, like, two years, but I definitely think

Jazz has some growing up to do before she moves out.

Well, you're still a kid, so... -I know.

I know, but, like, I was thinking

If we find a nice place that's, like, close to home

And doesn't cost too much money,

Then we could pitch in together and live together.

Okay. That's getting a little too far there.

Jazz: I know if I'm talking about moving out

On my own and doing this and that,

My parents might not be supportive,

But they would definitely be more inclined

To allow me to move out if they knew

I'd be living with ari,

So she's really a part of my master plan.

But then do you like living with mom and dad, though?

I mean, it's, like, not the worst situation.

Like, they're feeding me,

And I don't have to pay for rent and stuff,

So I can save up for that.

Yeah. It works.

Well, I mean, if you want to help me look for apartments,

I already know some good places down here.

It's cool to see different places

And what they look like,

And you'll get an idea of actually how expensive it is

To not live at home with your parents.

Ari: jazz is pretty dead set on moving out,

And when jazz has her mind set on something,

She really does not let it go.

A lot of things that go into it

Like cable, rent,

Internet, utilities,

And you got to keep up with them

Or you get late fees.

♪♪

Ahmir: how you feeling?

Better now that you're here.

Listen, listen.

-Oh. -So, basically,

Like, I told my dad, and I told my mom.

They know that I'm with you.

They know that we're in a relationship.

They know that I'm transgender?

They support that?

My mom is not actually as accepting

As I originally thought she would be.

Jazz: I am just shocked.

I finally found someone who is fully accepting of me,

Yet his mom, who raised him, does not accept me.

I never, ever expected this.

Ahmir: my mom is not actually as accepting

As I originally thought she would be.

♪♪

So, like, what has she said?

A lot of...

She didn't acknowledge you for who you were,

So it was still, like, she would say "he,"

And that's a man because born a man and...

-So she misgendered me? -Yeah.

So she just sees me as a guy?

She does.

Ahmir: the most hurtful thing my mom said

Was that jazz was still a man, and that I would be gay

For being in a relationship with jazz.

As soon as my mom said that, I just kind of, like,

Lost it because I'm not gay.

I'm not attracted to men, and jazz is a female,

So it just didn't make sense to me.

So what does that mean for us and for you and for me?

Like, does that mean... -It means nothing.

I mean, how I feel is not gonna change.

So, I mean, with your mom, like, how's that gonna be

When you go back home to philly,

And you're, like, going in the house, and you're like,

"Oh. Hi, mom." -I mean, she might...

She might not let me back in the house, to be honest.

Wait, so she's gonna kick you out of the house

Just because you like a girl

Who happens to be transgender?

Right because... I don't know.

It's just how she is, and I'm very outspoken so...

Yeah. That could potentially lead to me,

I guess, being kicked out of the house

Or whatever else.

I hope that doesn't happen.

Jazz: our relationship was going so, so well,

And now this happens,

But despite this whole situation,

I'm really touched that ahmir is willing

To stand up to his mother,

But it's really scary to think that,

You know, just being in a relationship with me

Could cause him to not even have a home?

Is there any way we could change her views?

Like...i don't know.

If she just... -I feel like...

I feel like if I just talked to her

Or just something like...

I don't think so. I don't...

I feel like she'll still have her views,

And she'll still have her pain.

I feel like we should just enjoy our time together

Instead of worrying about my family or whatever.

I feel like at the end of the day,

We just got to focus on each other.

♪♪

♪♪

Jay, you got to go straight.

I'm not jumping!

You guys are going to give me anxiety!

How are you a cheerleader?

-I'm done. -Okay, kaci.

Kaci, the non-cheerleader...

Are you serious? Awesome.

Once my vag*na is healed, and I am back in shape,

Then I am going to do backflips again.

Yeah. I think I broke my back.

-Should I try one? -No.

I know. I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

Did I tell you guys how my date went with ahmir?

Spill the beans.

Yeah. Spill your beans.

He took me to this,

Like, little dessert chocolate place.

The sunset view was so, so nice,

And it was romantic, and we kissed.

So how's my kissing game now?

It's the best I've ever had.

Really? Yes.

-How was kissing? -Yeah.

Your girl got good, and now he's like,

"You're the best kisser I've ever kissed."

-Oh, gosh. -That's great.

You told us... -That happened real quick.

One person says it, you're like, "I'm the best."

I'm the best.

But, yeah, I want you guys to like him

Because I think if you saw, like,

How he was acting with me on that date,

Then you would like him more.

Kaci and jay aren't necessarily on board

When it comes to me dating ahmir.

Their first impressions were not too good,

But I really want them to be able to see what I see in him.

It was really fun,

And I'm having a good time with him.

I'm sad that he's gonna be leaving florida soon,

But I'm enjoying it all.

Just spend as much as time with him as you can

And get to know him as much as you can, too.

Yeah.

There's one thing

That did come up that's kind of, like [screech]

His mom is not accepting of me.

-Like, at all? -Like...mnh-mnh.

She, like, misgenders me through texting,

Saying like, "why you dating that man?"

What?

And she's, like, hasn't even seen a picture of me.

She hasn't met me before.

She doesn't know me, but she's just like,

"My son is gay," like, this, that, that,

And she really just is so ignorant...

-What the heck? -...and doesn't get it.

Oh, my gosh.

Do you think that you and ahmir

Would ever end up breaking up because of this?

Based on what he tells me,

It really seems like

He's gonna do what he wants to do,

And he's not gonna end a relationship

With someone that he cares for

Just because his mom was like,

"tr*nny! Da, da, da, man! Blah, blah, blah," like...

I guess it's different for me because I'm closer

With my parents, and if, like, they didn't like somebody,

It would really affect the way I saw them.

Kaci: hearing about ahmir's mom does take a toll

On my whole opinion towards him.

It's a huge red flag because our family influences us a lot

In our choices and our decisions of who we're with especially...

It may affect you guys in the long run,

If you're gonna commit yourself to this,

And then eventually, it just doesn't work out

Just because he can't get over this certain...

That's what I worry about.

I don't want to be the one that makes him stop

Talking to his family.

Do your parents know that ahmir's mom

Doesn't fully accept you?

No. I have not told them yet.

I'll get to it, and I'll tell them.

I need to.

Jazz: the biggest thing I fear in telling my parents

About this situation with ahmir's mom

Is that they'll tell me I should just break up with him,

And it would be a huge conflict because I don't want to do that.

Make it your top priority.

Yep.

♪♪

Greg: what you doing?

I'm organizing my purse.

It's got to be done, you know?

-Hey. -Hello.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Is that your painting shirt?

You know me, I'm a scrub.

So, jazz, what do you want?

Usually you want something.

So, I need to talk to you guys

About my boyfriend.

We're all ears.

So ahmir's parents aren't really accepting of the fact

That I'm transgender,

Or at least his mom isn't.

She referred to me as a man, saying,

"Why you dating a man? I'll never accept that."

What?

And saying, like, "he" and "boy"

And just using the wrong pronouns.

You know, he was telling me that he doesn't know

If his mom is gonna allow him to stay at the house

When he gets back home to philly.

She's gonna kick him out because of you?

She might. He thinks...

He's gonna get home and not have somewhere to live?

That's pretty messed up.

What do you think I should do?

Is there anything I should do?

I said that I'm open to meeting his mom, but the fact

That she's calling me, like, a man and this and that,

Maybe she's envisioning me to be something

That I'm not.

Jazz: I invited ahmir to join me in new york for my surgery

Because philly is only / hours away through a bus ride,

And maybe I'll get an opportunity

To meet ahmir's mom while I'm out there.

Well, it's up to him to sort it out with his mom.

It's really between them.

Don't get involved.

And maybe she'll come around.

Jeanette: personally, I really am not fond

Of transphobic people,

So I really don't want any of my kids

Dating anyone that's transphobic

Or has a family that's transphobic,

But at the same time, I want to be fair to jazz.

This is her first relationship,

And I don't want to get in the way.

This is a very serious issue,

And he's just gonna have to convince his family

That you're you, and he cares about you,

And that's between them, though.

I'm more concerned about how it impacts

Your relationship with ahmir.

I mean, he lives there.

He lives with his mom. That's...

Jazz: I know. Exactly.

That's why I'm worried. -That's really important.

You guys just... You really just met,

And you guys will have to think about how it affects

Your long-term relationship.

Jeanette: right now, it's about the two of you and...

-Exactly and... -Just concentrate on that.

-I know. -That's what I say.

I hope that ahmir can explain things to his mom

And make her understand the issue better.

Jeanette: you know, it stinks that it's happening,

But if they care about each other,

I believe that they can overcome it.

That's hurtful to me.

You know, it's sad.

She's coming to realize

That when you're in a relationship,

It takes two to tango and then some

Because there's family

Of the person you're tangoing with.

I could definitely see where somebody is very intolerant

Could try to harm or sabotage a relationship.

I know it has happened in many relationships

Where a family is able to break up a couple.

There might be a point where decisions have to be made,

And ahmir might have to make a choice.

I don't know that this relationship is, you know...

I don't know where it's going.

I thought what I would do is send the picture to dr. Ting.

Jazz: I'm scared that they'll say,

"We need a more extensive surgery."

What are your impressions?

Well, I'm shocked.

♪♪

Think they clean the finger holes?

I get nervous putting my fingers in them.

Oh, they're dirty.

Da, da, da, da!

Look at that form.

I'm feeling so much more confident now.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

You have nothing to worry about.

Jeanette: I'm getting together with my sister-in-law kim.

She is a great person to have a good time with

And just decompress because she makes me laugh.

I can't do your fancy feet.

Jeanette: are you gonna go sideways?

No.

We keep trying to make plans, and then sickness and vaginas

And everything is really getting in the way.

There you go, but at least you're gonna hit something.

-Oh, my god. -You just got a strike!

Way to go!

I swear to god, that was a fluke.

-You lied to me. -I swear...

-You're a good bowler. -No.

-Are you hustling me? -Never.

Jeanette: I'm glad that we're doing this.

Kim: we have been trying to do this all summer.

Yeah, but looked what happened to my summer.

So what's going on now?

When are you... -Ugh.

We have to meet with jazz's doctor.

-She's coming? -She's coming to florida.

-Oh, she's coming here? -Yeah.

She'll examine jazz

And determine her surgery next week.

-Not down here? -Not here, in new york.

-Back in new york? -Yeah.

I am truly freaking out about the fact

That we have this upcoming appointment with dr. Bowers.

I'm very guarded and very pessimistic in a sense, like,

"What now? What's gonna happen?"

How long are you going to be there then?

Originally she said a week or two...

A week or two.

I'm like, "this is like a nightmare."

The possibility that jazz could have more trouble,

More complications is something that I can't even fathom

Because if I do, I might have a nervous breakdown.

I feel like this is like a workout kind of...

-I think so. -...of upper body.

Jeanette: my heart rate is up.

Oh.

Oh, now you're looking like me.

-I went in hot. -It hurts. It hurts.

So her boyfriend might come visit in new york.

Oh, he's cute.

Yeah, he's adorable, but the thing about him is...

And he said it to me, and he says it to anybody,

He goes, "I don't care that jazz is transgender."

That feels so good.

"I just look at her, and I see a girl."

It turns out, though,

That his mother, who lives in philly,

She doesn't quite see it that way,

So he's afraid that his mom may not let him stay there

Anymore maybe, like, "you're not welcome here."

Because his girlfriend is transgender?

Yeah. He's actually legitimately afraid of that.

-That's so sad. -That is sad.

Isn't it? -That is sad.

Let me ask you, what would you do if you were me?

So you have not spoken to her...

-No. -...the parents?

If I were you, I would...

I feel that need to explain it to her.

Let me, you know, just meet so then you'll understand...

Talk to her?

Yeah.

I mean... -I don't know.

Kim: I think jeanette should

Definitely speak with ahmir's mom

Because I think if she were to talk to jeanette,

It would open her mind up a little more hopefully.

Well, greg is usually of the mind-set, like,

Just stay away from it.

Don't mess with it, but, like, jazz...

Like, she wants to talk to her.

If it was one of my three...

Yeah. Yeah.

...i would not want them to meet her alone,

And I'd feel better if I was with her.

Yeah, me too.

That's really what I would... I think is the best thing.

Like, I wouldn't just set jazz off with...

-Yeah. -...ahmir to meet mom.

Jazz may insist, though. She might be like, "mom."

I don't know how she's gonna...

She might.

She might say, "mom, let me handle this."

Yeah, but you said, "I'd be more...

I want to meet her, anyway.

Our kids are dating. I'd like to meet her."

The more I think about it, the more I'm, like...

Because what is she gonna do, punch me in the face?

Jeanette: after speaking to kim,

I realized I would really like to talk to ahmir's mom.

I never like confrontation.

I'm one that really hates it, but, you know what?

I want to tell her what the deal is, like, "you're wrong."

♪♪

What's up?

-Hello. -What's...oh.

Don't you look pretty?

And you look handsome. Oh, yes.

Thank you, except for the little leo scratches.

Yeah. I like them.

I might get a tattoo like this.

-What? -Jazz.

It's nice.

So did you enjoy your stay in florida?

Yeah. I wish I stayed longer, but...yeah.

Jazz: it's time to take ahmir to the airport,

And it's sad saying goodbye because we had a great time,

And I want to continue hanging out with him.

Good to meet you.

Have a safe trip back.

-I'll see you guys soon. -Yeah.

Thank you for coming and for being so sweet to my jazz.

Greg: it was nice to have ahmir visit in florida,

And I see nice qualities in ahmir

The more I get to know him.

All right. Bye.

Drive safe.

I know right now, he's a really good thing for her.

She's just come off the surgery,

And her life is evolving,

And I think that this is very important to her,

And he's playing a big role in her life right now.

I feel bad for ahmir

Having to go back to a situation now

At home where his mother

Is not accepting of his relationship with jazz,

And this is going to be hard on him.

Jazz: I had a lot of fun with you.

I'm sad that you're going.

I'll see you again soon hopefully.

You will. You will,

Especially when I come to new york for the surgery.

I'm not gonna miss that.

Then that's sooner than later, so...

My biggest fear for when ahmir gets home is that

He's not gonna have a place to stay,

And I just worry because I don't want to be the cause of him

Not having, you know, just a place to sleep.

Ooh. A strong one.

Ahmir: even if my mom isn't accepting about it,

I think me and jazz grew closer,

And our relationship gets better and stronger every day.

All right. Take care.

I want to see my relationship with jazz just build from here,

Just go further as far as we can go

Because I don't care if my family likes jazz.

I like jazz.

♪♪

♪♪

Jeanette: oh, I can't wait for the day

That we're done with doctor's offices

And hospitals.

-When it's just... -Not yet.

...annual check-ups.

Jazz: next week, I will need to go to new york

To get a skin-graft procedure.

-Hello! -Hey.

You look so good.

I'm definitely a little worried

That dr. Bowers is gonna examine me

And say that we need a more extensive surgery,

That the complications are more severe than she anticipated.

I'm really hoping that it doesn't include any extra steps.

Let's come on back, and we'll talk.

Jeanette: let's go on back.

Dr. Bowers: the goal of today's exam

Is to see how the wound has progressed,

See if it's appropriate still to go forward with a skin graft,

And how much of an area we would need to cover.

So it's been nine weeks.

-Yes. -Welcome back.

How's it going?

Pretty good. Yeah.

Healing slowly but steadily.

-Yeah. -It's definitely changing form

Every day it feels like.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

If you go look at one photo from each week,

It'll be a different photo.

Great, so that presents us with a good opportunity

To put a skin graft on the area.

It's particularly receptive at this point,

And that would allow just any scar to be covered.

How do we know that the graft will take for sure

Because I know...

I know last time, we did the skin grafts

But only % took.

Exactly, and that is gonna be a question

We're gonna ask dr. Ting.

I thought what I would do is examine you

And then send the picture to dr. Ting

And then get him on facetime,

And then we can talk about it right here live with him.

-Okay. -Okay.

Just I'll excuse myself and then just call me

When we're ready to do the facetime.

Okay. Perfect.

Dr. Bowers has not examined my vag*na in person

Since new york.

We have been sending progress photos,

But the last one did not look too great,

And I'm scared that it's still not looking the way

That she wants it to look.

I'm gonna get my gloves on. Hold on.

Jazz has been through the ringer

Emotionally and physically.

I mean, she is my baby

And watching her go through this

Has been a very painful journey.

We can't handle any more bad news at this point.

-Greg, come on back in. -Okay.

Dr. Bowers: I hadn't seen jazz's vulva for several weeks,

And even at that point, it was tough to look at,

And so we were relying on a lot of healing to take place.

It wasn't there at the last photo.

So you already sent the picture to dr. Ting?

I did, and he's looking at it right now,

And I think we should conference him,

Get him on the phone... -Let's do it.

...and see what he has to say.

Dr. Bowers: I defer to dr. Ting on some measures

Like skin grafting

And the best ways to treat those areas

Because dr. Ting has much more experience

In traditional plastic surgical procedures.

I do keep up, but I'm not

A classically trained plastic surgeon per se.

-Hello! -How are you?

I have everyone here.

So, jess, I sent you the picture of jazz

In her current state.

What are your impressions?

Well, I'm shocked...

...but in a good way.

Yeah, as am i.

In the center, I can already see

A thin layer of skin over it.

That skin is gonna thicken and mature and change color.

It looks amazing.

It looks better than what we do normally.

Yeah. I don't know. How did that happen?

The gods were smiling, I think.

Greg: there's just a big sigh of relief in the room.

It was almost like too good to be true.

Like, "what? I wasn't expecting that.

I was expecting total opposite,"

Like we were about to step backwards,

And now we might not have to, so good news.

So if everything is centered,

Then there's really no reason to intervene now.

-Yay! -Let me...let it heal.

-Uh-huh. -Looking at that scar,

She might benefit from a sh*t of cortisol to help soften it.

You know, seeing her in person would really be ideal.

If you do this, um, this sh*t,

Which she be able to travel home right after that?

Oh, yeah. It's...

So there's reason to really stay up in new york...

-No. -...for any period of time?

Jazz: I'm just so excited

That I won't need this third operation.

There's definitely a sense of relief

Because everything has been going not too well

Throughout this entire process

And to know that I can finally focus on recovering right now

Instead of worrying about another procedure

Is really awesome.

Is there things she cannot do?

Is there a recovery period?

Her activities, she should be able to do everything now.

She can exercise. She can walk.

She can bathe and shower normally.

Jazz: I'm so eager to get back to my normal life

Because I have been waiting for this for so long,

And I'm finally at the point where my body is capable

Of doing everything that I was able to do before the surgery.

So glad to see that you're healing so well, jazz.

Yeah. Thank you.

-Thank you so much. -Have a good night.

-Thank you. -Thank you. Bye.

-Bye. -Thank you.

I really feel like we've turned the corner,

But I don't want to get my hopes up too high

Because we still have to visit dr. Ting,

But this is a really good feeling,

Walking out of the office knowing, "hey. Good news.

She looks great,

And she doesn't need another skin graft."

Hallelujah.

Let me go for a run.

♪♪

Okay. I can't really run full speed, but...

All right. Let's go.

You may have to work up to that.

Oh, lord.

♪♪

-Hey. -Hey!

What's up? I miss you.

I miss you, too.

How's philly?

Philly...it could be better, to be honest.

You're good? You're staying at the house?

She's not kicking you out or anything crazy like that?

Not yet.

Hopefully she doesn't, and if she does, you know,

I think I could convince my dad to take you in here

If you can't find a place up there to stay.

But it's not as bad, you know,

Because nobody really talks about anything.

Jazz: I'm so relieved to hear that ahmir is able to stay

At his house with his mother, but I feel really bad

That ahmir is essentially choosing between me and his mom,

And he's only known me for one month,

And his mom is his mom,

And I just worry because I don't want to be the cause of him

Not having a good relationship with her.

Yeah. I am coming to new york soon, though,

So I'm excited to see you.

I'm excited to go.

I've been looking forward to it this whole time.

Yeah.

Because philly is so close to new york,

I was thinking maybe I could go to philly

And, like, meet your mom?

I know, like, that's... I mean,

She'd have to be down for it, but I want to meet your mom.

I want her to change her mind,

And I feel like I can help her change her mind.

That's a big step.

I really want to be able to improve your situation,

And, like, I want to at least try before

We finally give up and surrender.

I mean, I would want you to,

But it's just, like, the environment.

I know how positive you are and all that,

And trust me, she can really bring you down.

She can really bring somebody down, so...

Mm. Yeah.

I just want to be able to resolve all of this conflict.

I want him to be able to stay at his home comfortably,

And I want his mom to be a mom

And just accept her son for dating whoever he wants to date.

I just want you to come back down to florida, though.

Like, honestly my th birthday is coming up,

And hopefully I could plan something big.

Are you excited to be , though?

Trust me. It's not fun.

Nothing changes.

But...yeah. I figured nothing changes

Except that I'm going to make it change.

I feel like I want to be independent

As soon as possible.

I'm going to, like, try to find an apartment with ari.

Ari agreed to go out and look for apartments with me,

And even though she's not all-in with the idea,

I'm pushing this forward because I need her to be on board

In order for this to actually happen.

Maybe I can learn how to, like, do all of that,

Like buying an apartment, how much it costs,

Understanding utilities and just all of that.

At the end of the day, it's your decision.

Mm-hmm.

When you turn , everything is your decision.

So we'll see how that all goes down,

But all I know is that it's easier for you

To live down here

Than to do the whole long-distance thing,

And maybe I could get you down here,

And we could have a place to crash.

-That's a good thought. -That's a good thought.

If ahmir ended up coming down to florida in order to escape

The situation with his mom, I'd be okay with it,

But I don't think my parents would be on board.

If I had my own apartment, he could come down

And stay with me for a couple days

Or maybe even a week or two

So that he could get out of philly.

Look, we're not that far along in our relationship yet...

-Yeah. -...to be living together,

But it's easier for you just to get out of philly

And start fresh somewhere else.

It's an idea. It's an idea.

I'd have to think about it.

Okay.

Whoa.

-Come on in. -So nice.

Ari: jazz is pretty blinded by her desire to want to move out.

You saying no is the reason why I'm saying yes.

Then you should move out right now.

♪♪

-Hello! -Hi. I'm jazz.

Jazz: even though ari isn't ready to move,

I'm hoping that the second she sees an apartment

And gets to explore with me, it'll all become more real,

And maybe she'll open up to the idea

Of using moving out together.

I'm on a mission right now.

Here we go, girls.

-Whoa. -Come on in.

-So nice. -This is so nice.

This is the space.

Look at the view of the water.

Gorgeous, isn't it?

Ari: yes. Very nice.

It's been completely updated and renovated.

-Wow. -Wow.

This apartment is so, so, so nice,

And it's so clean, organized, modern.

It has a beautiful view of the ocean.

That's amazing.

There is no way that ari wouldn't want to live here.

-This is the master bedroom. -Wow.

From every room here, there's an ocean view,

So if you're laying in bed,

You're looking right at the ocean,

And this is the second bedroom, ladies,

And as you can see,

This also has a direct ocean view.

You can see all the way up to the port from here,

And they have lots of amenities downstairs.

They have a heated swimming pool, sauna.

-That's really nice. -I know.

It's really nice.

Woman: now this unit is , square feet.

For the ,-square-foot unit on the ocean,

It's $, a month.

They usually get first, last and security for this unit.

That's kind of a lot, a little bit out of budget,

However if ari and I were to move in together,

Then we would split the cost,

And I hope that ari would be on board.

I could get used to this for sure.

Ari: yeah.

-This place is so, so nice. -Yeah.

It's definitely nicer than anything

I've ever been in, lived in.

Coming here makes me want to move so, so bad.

Like, it's just so nice and, you know,

Creating your own space...

Like, I've never really had my own space

Like that, you know?

-Yeah. -Like, I don't know.

I think we would do well together.

You might know this about me, but I usually do my dishes,

Like, as I use the dish.

That's nice.

So it doesn't accumulate,

And then it's like a big chore.

I'm a good person to live with.

Hopefully, you want me.

It's not really about that.

It's just whether it's logical right now

At the same time

Because it really is expensive.

As much as I really do miss my independence,

I am saving so much money by just living at home and...

I think you have more money than you think you have.

What? Did you really just say that?

I think I know how much money I have.

Thank you, though.

Ari: it's slightly overwhelming listening to jazz

Trying to convince me to move out with her

Just because I feel like

I have more of a level head on this situation.

I mean, do you want to move with me or not really?

-I don't know. -Well...

It's beautiful, though, and I could see myself here,

But I don't have an answer this second.

I mean, when do you think you're gonna move out?

I don't have a time frame at all.

Do you see it in the near future or...

It will be when I'm ready, and that's it.

Like, there's no, like, time mark on it.

Jazz is pretty blinded by her desire to want to move out.

She's being very impulsive about it,

And I think jazz might try to move out

Even if I don't move with her,

But independence comes with its pros and cons,

So she'll definitely learn that.

I mean, it's up to you.

At the end of the day, it's your life.

Do what you want.

♪♪

Greg: are you looking forward to going back to new york?

I am now.

At least it's not as big of a procedure

As it was gonna be.

Never say never.

You're drained. It's been a long journey.

You know, I just feel like I was blindsided

So many times with this whole journey

That I don't trust anything anymore.

During this entire journey, we've had so many curveballs

Thrown at us.

Things change constantly, so it's terrible to say,

But I sometimes expect the worse now,

And just because they said

She doesn't have to have surgery

Doesn't mean it could change again.

Dr. Ting can look at her and be like, "oh! Guess what?

O.r. Tomorrow," so I'm guarded at this point.

Oh, hey, jazz.

To what do we owe the pleasure

Of your company, jazz?

Jazz: I respect ari's decision not to move out right now,

But seeing this nice, fancy, new apartment

Has encouraged me even more to move.

I know my parents might not be as supportive,

But if I want to do this, then I feel like I should do it.

I wanted to talk you guys about something.

I'm just thinking about the possibility

Of maybe, like, moving?

Off to...

-Yeah. -...a dorm at college?

Like about a year from now?

I want to be able to exercise a little bit more freedom

And a little bit more control in my life,

So by the time I do go to college,

I could be fully prepared for that lifestyle.

Are we prohibiting you from your independence?

Last I checked, we were pretty lenient.

Like, we're pretty cool parents.

You do just about everything you want.

Does this have anything to do with partners and...

Ahmir?

There is a benefit with ahmir, but this...

That's not, like, my reason, but there is a benefit in that

When he does come down to florida,

He could stay at my place, and, like, that makes it easy.

I think ahmir has a big role in her wanting to move out.

If ahmir doesn't have a place to live,

I feel really bad about that, but jazz needs to realize

You don't live with somebody you're in a relationship with

Unless you're very serious.

Who's paying for this?

Me. All me.

That's a lot of loot.

And you have your cellphone because I'm not gonna pay

For that if you're gonna be independent,

And I'm not gonna pay for a car...

-You don't have a car. -...which costs money,

Then insurance for a car costs money,

And then cable and then utilities.

-Food. -All those things add up.

And it's free here.

I don't think jazz has the full picture

Of what it takes to live on your own.

I don't think she understands all the expenses

Associated with it, and there's a plethora of things

That really have just not been something

That she's been responsible for.

I never handle anything for myself,

And I think I want to start doing it for myself,

Be more independent.

I got nothing against you doing your own laundry

And making your bed in the morning

And setting an alarm and getting up early.

Start doing it. Now.

There's nothing that's stopping you from doing that stuff...

I can't even get you to get out of bed in the morning.

...at home.

To be independent, you have to be very mature in many ways,

And there's certain ways where she is not mature.

I don't think you realize this,

But the second you walk into my room,

You give me a list of commands for the day.

You come in my room, and you're like,

"Get up! Get up! Get up! Get up!"

Because I have to do that for you to get out of bed.

You're the type of person who is on top of everything in my life.

I don't want to be.

If you started waking up on your own,

I wouldn't go in there. -Even if...

I think you'll always be that if I'm living here.

You're making my brain hurt.

This is exactly what I don't want, though.

Like, you don't understand.

You're like, "I need to see all these things from you

Before I let you move," but all you're doing

Is imposing your version of the best lifestyle upon me.

No. I want you to come up with your version.

Just do something. Be productive.

I think I'm making it very clear that I need more independence,

And, in my heart, I know this is right.

If my parents don't start listening,

Then I'll have to take action.

I'm pretty adamant about my position on jazz

Not moving out at this point in time.

Push comes to shove and jazz decides,

"That's it. I'm leaving,"

I will not be supportive at all, and she knows that.

Just know that the...

You saying no is the reason why I'm saying yes right now.

Then you should move out right now.

♪♪

Next time on "I am jazz"...

Jeanette: we have another interview with juju chang

For abc "nightline" to finish telling jazz's story.

And there was a complication.

I had to go back in for another procedure.

Jazz tends to get very graphic

Regarding her surgical complications.

I'm the one that's gonna get phone calls from people...

-It's hard when you're in... -...and e-mails from people.

You know, I'm pissed off.

I'm going to new york for my post-op and cortisone sh*t

But also this bra campaign that I'm a part of.

How did you enter creating a bra

When you don't wear them?

Ahmir's mom has been like, "why are you dating a man?

My son is gay now."

The fact that ahmir's mom is not accepting is a problem.

Jazz: I want to meet her.

Ahmir: I don't really think it's a good idea,

But she said that she would do a phone call.

[ Cellphone ringing ]

I'm anxious to talk to ahmir's mom.

I want to understand from you what the problem is

If he is dating someone transgender.

Ahmir's mom: I have a problem with dealing with...

Oh, well, now it's, "this is who I am today."

You wasn't that person yesterday.

He's not telling you the truth.

What truth is he not telling me?

Get off the phone with her.

-Wait, wait. -Get off the phone.

-Wait a minute. -Get off the phone.

Jazz: ahmir.