05x10 - Enemy In The Family

[bunniefuu]

Previously on "I am jazz"...

So, jess, I sent you the picture of jazz.

What are your impressions?

Well, I'm shocked but in a good way.

There's really no reason to intervene now,

But looking at that scar,

She might benefit from a sh*t of cortisone.

Seeing her in person would really be ideal.

When it comes to interviews and reporters,

You just don't know which way things are going to go.

There are some people who will think,

"Well, maybe her parents brainwashed her."

My mom is not actually as accepting.

She would say, "that's a man

Because he's born a man and," you know...

-So she misgendered me? -Yeah.

Jazz: I'm just thinking about moving.

I want to start being more independent.

I can't even get you to get out of bed in the morning!

You saying, "no," is the reason why I'm saying,

"Yes," right now.

Then you should move out right now.

♪♪

--Captions by vitac-- www.vitac.com

Captions paid for by discovery communications

Jazz: unfortunately, my parents didn't respond well

To my desire to move out.

I understand that my parents worry about me so much

Is because they care.

I just want to do things on my own,

And while I don't want to move out because of ahmir,

He's definitely taken into consideration

Because his mom doesn't approve of our relationship,

And it might be a space that's much more welcoming

And accepting than his own home, but I'm going to have to table

The moving-out discussion for now.

Are you following me?

Jazz, what shoes are you wearing for the interview?

-Birkenstocks. -No.

Two things -- bra and not those shoes.

They look good with this dress.

No.

Jeanette: so a lot is going on this week.

In a couple of days, we have this trip to new york.

We have the dr. Ting sh*t in the vag*na.

We have a photo sh**t for a bra campaign that jazz is doing,

And ahmir will be woven into all of this,

But first, we have another interview with juju chang

For "abc nightline" to finish telling jazz's story.

So, talking points today -- it's supposed to be more of

A spiritual interview and less of a medical.

Well, I really do think the surgery has...

It's actually changed me.

You know, I feel more aligned with myself.

Now that I'm in the body that I've always wanted,

It just feels like I'm whole,

And it's boosted my confidence like tenfold.

It's crazy.

Well, that's exactly what why should talk about.

-So that's what I'll talk about. -Yeah!

I'm definitely doing things that I wouldn't have done

Before the surgery.

I just feel more equipped with the tools

To be able to navigate what I want to do

And what makes me happy.

What about the complication?

How much do I talk about what went wrong?

Not much, just kind of glaze over it and just...

Just be like, "yes, there was a setback, but"...

Very rare. Just move on.

Do not dwell on it, okay?

Jeanette: jazz tends to get very graphic

Regarding her surgical complications,

And I'm very concerned that it might turn off kids

From having this particular procedure,

And that could scare their families, as well.

You look beautiful, and I'm not going to tell you to wear makeup

Because that's your choice. -All right.

But do you really care about the shoes?

They're not going to see my feet.

They're not going to see my feet.

You don't know. Just put on a sandal, flat -- a sandal.

Okay. I will. I will. I will.

-Thank you. -Just because you want me...

But I'm not curling my hair. Hell no.

♪♪

♪♪

Hi!

Oh, I almost hit you with the door.

-How are you? -Hello.

-Good to see you. -You, too.

Jeanette: welcome to florida.

Oh, my goodness. It's hot.

-I know... -Whoo!

-Come into air-conditioning. -I know. It's fantastic in here.

Jeanette: I'm a little nervous about this interview.

You know, it's juju's job to try to get jazz to divulge,

And you know, she comes with a gift in hand...

-Leggings! -Leggings!

-Oh, my gosh. I need these. -And they're nice and colorful.

-Those are gorgeous. -I love them.

...which is very sweet and, you know,

Jazz may let her guard down a little bit.

I guess the plan is for you and I to talk upstairs,

Right, in your bedroom? -Yeah.

-Does that sound... -The turquoise room.

-In the turquoise room? -Yeah.

You can give me a tour of the room?

Sure.

We were looking back at the original footage

That was sh*t with barbara walters way back in your room,

And so, I was curious, like,

"Oh, I wonder how much of it has changed," and...

The room is pretty much entirely different

Except for the fact that I have the same gross carpet.

Jeanette: yeah.

And I have mermaids everywhere still.

Jeanette: I'm really hoping that jazz uses some discretion

During the interview and just kind of doesn't go

To places I don't want her to go to.

And indeed, turquoise.

This is every inch a little girl's room,

Well, actually, a young woman's room.

Jazz: no, it's a little girl's room.

-It's beautiful. -I'm sitting here?

Woman: yep, you're going to be right there.

Jazz: oh, my god.

Look how many pill bottles I have.

Some of them are from the surgery,

So there's, like, a stool softener in there, and...

Juju: oh, from the painkiller, ugh!

Jazz: going into this interview, I need to be honest.

I want to take a bigger role in being an advocate,

And that really just entails telling my story

To more people on a larger scale.

I woke up the morning of the surgery,

And I don't think I've ever been that happy in my entire life.

It was just, like, pure positive energy.

I feel like people should know what I went through so that

They could hear the truth of my story and my experience.

And there was a complication.

I had to go back in for another procedure,

But it was just all part of the journey.

Jeanette: as I'm hearing bits and pieces of what's going on,

I feel that it's going in a bad direction.

Jazz is talking about all the complications of surgery

And just wasn't what this was supposed to be about.

You know, I'm pissed off!

Be well.

Take care. -Bye.

Bye, sweetie. All right.

I'll be in touch for sure, okay? -All right.

-Bye, guys. -Thank you.

Juju: oh, my god. It's , degrees outside.

Bye.

Greg: how'd it go?

-Went well. -Yeah?

-Mm-hmm. -What'd she ask you?

I talked about, like, how, like, you know,

My confidence has increased and mental-physical alignment,

All those things.

I did talk about the complication

That occurred, though.

I said how, like, basically, everything unraveled

And that it was too tight, so the stitches came apart,

And then I had to go back... -No.

...in for another o.r. Appointment.

-I told you not to do that! -Ugh!

We don't want to scare people.

I know, it was just in the moment,

And i, like, I don't think it's too big of a deal,

And, I mean, I don't think it's going to scare people.

It's the reality and all that...

No, it's going to scare... It's going to definitely...

There are parents that are watching

That and being like, "oh, my goodness!"

I'm sorry. I apologize.

Because I'm the one that's going to get...

It's hard when you're in...

...phone calls from people and e-mails from people,

"Oh, my goodness. Is this going to happen to my child?"

You know me, I have loose lips.

Jazz: I experienced something major, and I can't just say,

"Oh, it went great. Everything was perfect,"

Because that's just not true.

My whole message is about being your authentic self,

Speaking your truth, and living your life as who you are.

I know you care so much about what...

I just don't want people to get hurt.

-...these other parents think. -No.

It's not what they think of me.

I don't want them to get hurt or the kids to get hurt,

And they will come to me.

Jazz sometimes thinks impulsively without thinking

About the repercussions.

She is strong-willed

And sometimes just does what she wants to do.

♪♪

♪♪

-Hey! -Hey!

Oh, there you guys are.

You guys started shopping? -Oh, yes!

Yeah, we started looking around.

I wished my boobs looked like that.

Mine can if I wear a push-up bra.

I like my boob size, but I don't present my breasts the way

I'm supposed to in this world.

Because you need to wear a bra?

Like now.

Okay!

But I really need to, like, wear a bra

Because I'm going to new york

For my post-op and cortisone sh*t,

But also in new york, I have this bra campaign

That I'm a part of, and I'm designing my own bra.

How did you even enter this journey of creating a bra

When you don't, like, you don't wear them?

In general, I hate wearing bras!

I don't wear a bra, jiggle, jiggle!

You might want to wear a padded bra

Just so they don't keep falling all day.

Yeah, I said the first time that I facetimed them, I'm like,

"I actually don't wear bras that much,"

But they didn't drop me.

Jazz: I definitely think it's pretty ironic

That I'm doing a bra campaign, but I really wanted to do this

Because I think it's really great

How this company is so inclusive

In including a transgender person on a bra campaign.

So I haven't seen you guys for a while.

The last time I saw you was when we hung out with ahmir.

-Ahmir is my boy. -Ahmir is your boy!

Okay, he's my boy.

So, ahmir's mom has been, like, texting him

And calling him and being like,

"Why you dating a man? My son is gay now?"

And all these crappy things.

Oh, my god.

But even though his mom feels this way,

He doesn't feel this way.

It sucks that either of you guys have to go through this, though.

Noelle: now that jazz has finally found someone that she cares about,

That person is facing issues that a first relationship

Should really never encounter.

Jojo: I do still have high hopes for jazz and ahmir,

But I'm kind of skeptical about their relationship

Because now she's in a situation,

I feel, where she's going to have to dig herself out of it,

And that might be hard.

I told ahmir, like, "maybe I can meet your mom,"

And I feel like if there's any way

To overcome this situation,

It's her meeting me and getting to see me in person

And hear what I have to say.

If ahmir's mom wanted to speak to you,

How would you think you would approach that?

I would just try to stay as calm and collected the entire time

Because I don't want to freak out on her

Because the second I get defensive

Is when she'll just get more aggressive.

Like, no matter how uncomfortable it is,

You have to be the one to insist

Because you have to change her mind

And not the other way around. -Exactly.

Like, you have to be on the offensive.

I'm going to insist that we speak

And just say what's on my mind.

Jazz: I want to talk to ahmir's mom

Because we're still in the early phases of our relationship,

And the fact that ahmir's mom is not accepting is a problem.

I feel like all the other times that I am not accepted

For who I am but times ,

And I just don't want it to be like that.

But, of course, the mom would have to agree to it, as well.

♪♪

Jazz: while I think there's only a slim chance that dr. Ting

Will change his mind and say that I do need a surgery...

All right. Let's take a look.

...they have flipped the switch on us before.

♪♪

Just landed in new york city, and I am so excited.

We're on our way to the city,

And I'm going to meet up with ahmir and do this bra campaign.

I'm also going to visit dr. Ting,

So it's going to be a fun trip.

Busy!

Jeanette: I'm exhausted just thinking about this trip.

We have so much going on,

And I am going to meet with the group of wonderful moms

Who all have transgender daughters

Who are around jazz's age.

We got to know each other at one of the conferences,

And none of them have had the surgery yet.

I'm worried with jazz being so unfiltered

And sharing all the details of her surgery

With juju chang could really scare them,

So I want to put their minds at ease.

Let's see. Oh, messages from ahmir.

It was one message.

He said he's minutes away.

He's minutes away.

Ooh! Excitement.

So the bus pulls up right over here?

What are you going to do? -What do you mean?

You go running up to him like they do in "the bachelorette"

And "the bachelor" when they wrap their legs around?

No.

I'm not going to do anything dramatic,

And I think if I jumped on him, he would fall over.

I'm excited to introduce ahmir to my world,

All of the medical aspects of my transition

And doing my advocacy work

Because this is my life, you know?

And being in new york makes it even better.

I love this city.

-Where is he? -Wait. Isn't that him?

There he is.

There he is.

What's up?

Hey. Good to see you.

Jazz: to finally see him again is so exciting,

And I miss him, and... Whoo!

I have butterflies in my stomach.

So what's your plan for the next few days?

Like, what are we doing?

I mean, I have the bra-campaign photo sh**t,

And then I have an appointment with dr. Ting tomorrow.

What's your appointment for?

Dr. Ting said he wanted to give me, like,

Cortisone sh*ts to help with scar tissue on the vag*na

'Cause -- on the vag*na...

Because there's scars,

But other than that, I want to have some fun,

And we could just explore the city, do cool things.

Have you been here before?

-I've been to brooklyn... -Ah!

...but not this part.

So you've never been to manhattan?

Oh, jazz is going to show you around.

She's been here many times.

Ahmir: I been waiting to see jazz since I left florida.

It feels like a lot of chemistry.

It just feels right in a way.

Jazz: come on.

♪♪

♪♪

Mary rose: hi!

-Hello. -Hello.

I'm mary rose.

It's so good to finally meet you.

Oh, my goodness, it's so great to meet you.

Jazz: since my surgery, I've been wanting to expand

My advocacy platform,

And even though a bra campaign doesn't directly align

With everything that I talk about,

I'm a transgender girl being included

In something all about women,

And that really validates my identity as a woman

Because it shows the world that I have boobs, too.

I wear bras, as well, and I'm a girl.

We're so happy to have you guys here today.

Jeanette: okay.

We're going to show you the bra,

And then, yeah, just film a bunch of stuff

With you of you being you... -Okay, perfect.

...and talking to you about the project.

Perfect. So, we have a greenroom,

If you guys want to come through here.

Jazz: as someone who had gender dysphoria,

I know how important this body positivity is.

You know, in the past,

I didn't really care what other people thought,

But I still did at the same time,

And now I'm finally confident and comfortable in my own body.

Woman: jazz, take one, mark.

Jazz: what I was really looking for was something super comfortable

Because that's, like, the priority.

Me with bras, I don't have the best relationship with bras,

Like, every time I've tried them on,

I'm just like, "ugh, this doesn't feel good.

I don't like this. I have to wear this all day.

That stinks."

Okay. Okay, so this is it.

Oh, my goodness!

I love this material.

It feels like it's going to be super comfortable.

Seeing my vision for the bra fully realized

Is just so surreal.

This is everything I imagined, between the colors,

The tie-dye water effect

And just the whole mermaid vibe from it.

It just feels like me.

You said there's, like, a connection

With you and mermaids.

So I've loved mermaids since a very, very early age,

And I've always just had such a fascination with them,

And it's really interesting

Because a lot of transgender people

Are actually gravitated towards mermaids

Because they have no genitalia.

It's just a beautiful tail, and that's why I love them.

You guys k*lled it. -Oh, no, you k*lled it.

This is all you.

-It looks really nice on you. -Yeah.

-It looks nice. -What am I doing?

♪ I feel so free I feel so free ♪

Jazz: I think this photo sh**t, it's a little bit overwhelming

For ahmir, but he never gets to see this side of me.

This is what my focus is.

This is what I'm passionate about, and I really want

Ahmir involved in my life.

-Beautiful! -Okay.

-Happy. Okay. -Yeah.

Jeanette: I'm really proud that jazz is embracing the campaign.

She really felt comfortable in her skin and powerful.

She's glowing.

♪ So free ♪

Woman: beautiful!

That was great, so how do you feel?

Awesome!

-Yeah. -Yeah, I love the bra.

-Great. -The bra looks amazing.

Jazz: I think it's really awesome that I could participate

In something that is helpful,

Not just to lgbtq youth but to all youth

Because it represents inclusivity,

And this is an example of how I want

To make my advocacy more inclusive in the future.

I'm proud of you, and I'm proud of you guys.

I just -- I think this is great.

This is a big conspiracy between us

And your mom to get you to wear bras.

Yeah. This was all a hoax.

♪♪

Jazz: I'm finally getting to spend some alone time with ahmir

In my favorite city, and that means a lot to me.

He's the first person I've truly connected with,

And I really love my bond with him.

But long-distance relationships are hard,

So spending one-on-one time together is so important

Because I know there's a lot more to learn

About each other.

♪♪

Is the city better or worse than you expected it to be?

-Worse. -Worse?

-Worse. -Why?

It's really just... It's just like philly.

I expected it to be like bright lights and everything else,

And it's really just a dull-ass place.

Isn't that building cool, the flatiron building?

It looks like a waste of space to me.

I don't know.

-A waste of space? -It looks like a waste of space.

They could have put so much more stuff over there.

I feel like new york is stuck in, like, the early s.

It smells weird.

There's, like, dirty pigeons everywhere.

It's just not cute.

It's not pretty.

Jazz: I'm actually a little annoyed with how negative

Ahmir is being.

I don't know what's going through his head.

I want to know how things are going with your mom.

With me and my mom, it's really at a standstill right now.

I mean, clearly, she knew I was coming to new york.

So she knows you're coming here with me?

Yes, she knew I was coming to new york.

Do you think she would be down for meeting me?

Because I want to meet her.

Pff.

I don't -- I mean, I don't even know.

Ahmir: if jazz wants to meet my mom, I can ask her.

That's the least I could do,

But it could only make things worse.

If jazz is willing to take that risk,

Then I just hope she has a place for me

To live when I get kicked out.

I mean, that's all it is.

Maybe talking to me could open up her mind a little bit,

And she could understand the situation better.

Jazz: I just want to be able to resolve this conflict.

It definitely doesn't help our relationship

That ahmir's mom is not supportive.

She needs to give me a chance.

At least ask her if she'd be willing to meet me, okay?

Ask her. -I don't...

I mean, I don't really think it's a good idea,

But if you really, like, absolutely want it, I'll ask?

Jazz: I'm anxious to talk to ahmir's mom, but I can sense that

Ahmir is getting increasingly uncomfortable and frustrated.

-Get off the phone. -Wait, wait, no...

-Wait a minute. -No, get off the phone.

Ahmir.

-Thank you. -You're welcome.

-Thank you. -All right.

Ahmir, you could just stay right out there.

Nurse: all right, jazz.

I'm going to need you to change into your gown.

Leave the gown open to the front.

Everything from the waist down, remove.

-Okay. -Okay?

Jazz: while I think there's only a very, very slim chance

That dr. Ting will change his mind

And say that I do need a surgery,

They have flipped the switch on us before,

And there have been unexpected twists and turns,

So I'm just hoping that that doesn't happen this time.

I just... My stomach is in knots.

Jeanette: it's so weird being back in the office

Because so much has happened since then.

I feel like I'm a different person than I was

As a person that went in, and I'm more pessimistic,

So I'm always braced for something weird,

Strange, odd, and unexpected to occur.

I mean, it still doesn't look good.

It just looks different than it did when marci saw it.

I don't know if that's good or if it's bad.

It still doesn't look like a vag*na yet.

It's ting. Come in.

Knock, knock. What's behind curtain one?

Jazz: ♪ da, da, da, da ♪

-Hi. -Hello.

-Hi. -Remember us?

-Hi. How's it going? -Yes.

-You look great. -Thank you. Nice to see you.

Hello.

-How are you? -Good, how about you?

-High five. -High five.

You look good. How are you doing?

It's healing, definitely.

Every single day, it looks different.

It changes every day.

All right. Let's take a look.

All right.

Okay.

That's remarkable.

That is pretty incredible.

I cannot believe how well this has healed.

I mean, your wound

Is essentially completely closed at this point.

Really?

Yeah.

I'm like, "thank you. Good news, at last."

It feels so great just to know that my body is doing its job

And to know that we're finally moving in the right direction,

And everything looks the way it should.

So what would this injection ultimately do?

Well, that whole area where the scar is,

It's kind of like a patch like that.

That will turn just into normal skin,

So what we're talking about now is letting the scar mature

And soften enough that we can then manipulate that skin

And create the labia.

-So that's a sh*t, right? -That's a sh*t.

Is it going to hurt?

Yeah.

-Okay. -Should I move or...

-You can stay right there. -Okay.

Jeanette: I might not look.

-Okay, ready? -Uh-huh.

One, two, three, pinch.

♪♪

We're done.

Cool, that was not bad at all.

You didn't even flinch.

No, I didn't feel anything.

-Okay. -We're getting there.

We're getting there. We're getting there.

So this is a nice easy visit.

-Mm-hmm. -It's all good news.

No surgery...

-No surgery. -...right now.

You have healed.

That little injection will help mature the scar,

And we're just going to wait a long time,

And down the road, once everything is healed,

And all the scars have softened,

We can do something more aesthetic to create

The lips, labia, create like a hood for the clitoris.

-Mm-hmm. -So what am I cleared to do now?

Can I swim or not yet?

-You can swim. -I can swim?

You can ride a bike.

You can run. You can walk.

You can do anything.

Exercise.

-Anything? -Anything.

What about sexual activity?

-What? -Not yet?

Wait a little longer? -Never!

Well, are you asking me as, like, as a physician?

-Yes. -Like medically?

Yes, medically.

Jeanette: uh-huh. No way.

I'm sorry. It's not that she's too young,

But like, her vag*na is too young.

Her vag*na is not ready, in my mind, to have sex.

Jazz: I have to ask this question to my doctor.

We are talking about genitalia here,

And we all know what genitalia is used for.

Yes, ahmir is my boyfriend now,

And he exists, and he has a penis...

I -- wait, that sounded weird.

I know. That's just...

-So in terms of follow-up... -Mm-hmm.

...if I could see her in, you know, months.

-Okay. -No promises, but by that time,

You might be cleared for sexual activity.

Cool. Nice.

You could just keep that to yourself.

-How did it go? -It went well.

Jazz: dr. Ting said that everything looks great.

He said the revision surgery,

He envisions that it's going to happen, like,

In a year or something, so, yeah, everything is great.

I'm glad that my body is doing its thing.

So he's the one who did the surgery?

-Yeah. -He did it with also dr. Bowers.

-There was two doctors... -Because they were doing

A special procedure for me where they took my stomach

Lining to create the vag*na.

-He didn't know any of this? -I didn't know.

You didn't know this?

Oh, okay.

That's cute.

It's like the outer-membrane lining of my stomach.

-Oh. -It's the same...

It's basically the same stuff as vag*na material.

I don't know what to say.

I'm creeped out.

♪♪

They were doing a special procedure for me

Where they took my stomach lining to create the vag*na.

Oh. Okay.

I'm creeped out.

I don't know what to say.

I never really expected to be having this conversation

With a girl before, but...

Do you mind?

It's pretty weird.

I'm surprised by ahmir's reaction to the details

Of my gender confirmation surgery.

We met up right after I got home from new york,

And we talk every single day,

So I feel like I have told him in detail,

In-depth, the entire process many times before,

So the fact that he is shocked and disgusted

And weirded out by all of the things that I'm telling him,

I don't know, it kind of confused me.

Jeanette: what are we going to do now?

Well, I spoke to my mom,

And she said that she would do a phone call.

-She'll call? -Yeah, she'll do call.

She'll do a phone call?

But don't go into it expecting, you know, butterflies and...

Jazz: I'm a little bit disappointed because I really wanted her

To meet me face-to-face, so she could look into my eyes

And see that I am who I am, that I am a girl!

I would like to be there.

I would just like to make sure that everything is cool.

As a mom, I want to be there to protect my baby.

I know that she wants this opportunity to speak her mind,

But I expect that she's going to be tough.

This could really, really get ugly.

♪♪

♪♪

-She's a mama. -Yeah.

-Hello! -She's a mama.

You guys, don't get up, I'll come and hug.

-Hi, hi, hi, hi! -Good to see you.

Thank you for being here.

Hello, hello.

Jeanette: I'm meeting up with a group of women

Who I've known from my advocacy groups,

And they followed jazz's journey for years and years and years,

But right after the second surgery,

I went radio silence because I didn't want people

To speculate or be scared or...

I didn't want to talk about it, honestly,

So I don't know how they're going to react

When they hear about jazz's complications.

-How is she doing? -She is jazz.

Like, with her it seems to be drama,

Always, and you guys know.

You have teenage daughters. -Drama queens.

But, like, with her, it's to the max.

The network of moms has been everything.

You don't feel as alone.

You have a level of confidence in your decisions

When you have this tribe.

Well, this is the perfect time for drinks.

-Oh, yes! -Yeah.

Jeanette: but I have to be, you know, straight forward and honest

That I am very afraid and nervous

And scared about nicole having a surgery next year.

So how's your daughter doing?

I haven't seen her in a little while.

Nicole is really doing great.

She's... I can't believe it.

She's a junior in high school,

And we have had two consults for surgery,

And the plan is to have a date between junior and senior year.

-Exactly what we did. -Yep, yep.

So you are going to meet with ting also?

Well, we're hoping to. Yes.

We're starting the process,

And she just wants a vag*na right now.

And she was blocked early also.

Yes.

Yeah, this is, like, the new wave of kids.

-Yeah. -Oh! Oh, wow.

So I know that I share a lot

To let people learn and offer information.

I'm very open. -Yeah.

But like, after the surgery, I just went silent.

You did, and you know what?

I noticed.

We have been through quite a journey,

And what I really want you to know as I tell this story

Is that what happened to jazz is not the norm.

♪♪

-What's up? -Hi!

-Hi! -Hey!

How are you doing?

Jazz: while my mom is meeting with the women in her moms group,

I'm going to be hanging out with their daughters.

-Oh, my... -Don't die now!

Charlie: jazz, to me, is such an inspiration

Because like, growing up, I didn't really have, like,

An advocate or anyone that I looked to,

Like as a transgender, like, role model.

So, I saw you two recently at philly, but you...

-It was... -...it's been a couple of years.

Yeah, I know.

Jazz: I have known charlie, nicole, and emily for many years,

And I know my mom doesn't want to scare anyone

With too many of the details of my complications,

But I want to share my surgery experiences with them

Because they're about to be going through the same thing,

And I want them to know what it was like for me,

But I also don't want to freak them out.

Okay, so when are you getting your surgery?

About a year from now.

What about you, charlie?

So I'm looking to do my surgery

Probably after I graduate high school

Because school is just really hard,

Like, people were, like, bullying me for, like,

People would call me and like, thr*aten me,

So it's just a lot right now to, like, tackle on all that

And then, like, a surgery on top of it.

You guys know that I just got my surgery.

Yes!

-How are you feeling? -Yeah!

I'm doing great now, like, look at me.

I'm sitting cross-legged.

I could... -Oh, yes, honey!

...go shablam and do the whole spiel,

But before, it was not that great.

Yeah?

There were some complications, and it was really rough.

About a week, week and a half after getting the surgery,

The stitches started coming apart,

And it was a hot mess.

I was in a lot of pain.

I was really upset because I'm like,

"What is going on? Why is my vag*na unraveling?"

Nicole: I'm happy that jazz is sharing what happened to her

And her complications because she has been so honest

With everyone for so long.

Like, why hide this?

When you were in the hospital for such a long time,

How did you stay positive?

I just think everything in this world is mind over matter.

And if I'm thinking things like,

"This sucks. I hate this. I just want to leave.

I'm so depressed," if I think those things,

Then I'll feel bad for myself.

That was amazing.

At the end of the day, it was more of a positive experience

Than a negative experience

Because even though it was rough,

And there were some really low moments...

You got a vag*na.

Yeah, and I came out the other side with my vag*na,

And I think it's just made me more confident as a person.

It will come out what happened to jazz.

It eventually will.

I have not talked about it on social media.

I mean, for me, I want to know everything.

I want to hear all of it -- the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Information is power.

Kerry: I'm glad that jeanette was able to share that with all of us.

I know that nothing is without risks.

I just judge the risk of following your child

Through this life to become their authentic self versus not.

And I know what happens on the other side,

And it's much more dire.

I don't think people understand the immense responsibility

That we shoulder and the complexity

Of what we manage every day.

Jeanette: I don't know what to do.

I'm honestly scared when this gets out

That people are going to freak out.

Kerry: I think you should write an op-ed.

Have you thought about a facebook live?

They can ask questions real-time.

Mm-hmm.

And you can answer them, and it can be pivotal for this.

Jeanette: the other moms are definitely making me feel comfortable

With the idea of sharing what jazz went through.

I don't like keeping secrets,

But I want to be able to control how I give that information,

So doing a facebook live makes sense to me.

So let's toast to our daughters.

-Thank you so much. -Thank you.

Oh, thank you.

Thank you for sharing your story.

Jeanette: you guys are great.

I'm very blessed to be here today.

We're blessed that you guys blazed this trail for us.

Mm.

[ Laughter ]

♪♪

Jeanette: does she know I'm here, too, ahmir?

No. I got this.

Whew.

Jazz: I'm anxious to talk to ahmir's mom

Because it's his mom, and of course, we want his mom

To be onboard with us as a couple,

And maybe something will click within her mind.

It's really important to me to try.

All right.

So I'm here with jazz and her mom.

Tara: mm-hmm.

And I just wanted you to tell them,

I guess, why you feel the way you feel

About my relationship with jazz.

Ahmir: there's a lot at risk, for me,

By allowing my mom and jazz to speak on the phone,

Which could be me getting kicked out of the house,

But I know jazz wants to talk to her, and I just...

I wanted jazz to be happy.

Tara: let me just say for myself, my idea of my children

Is to have kids, have grandkids, and do it the way

That I would expect or I feel, personally, is the natural way

Or the right way of doing things.

-Hey. -Hello!

This is jazz.

I want to understand from you what the problem is

If he is dating someone transgender.

As long as he's happy, shouldn't that be the priority?

Tara: first, jazz, what you need to understand

Is when he first said something to me,

I said, "well, son, are you telling me that you're gay?"

"Oh, I'm not gay. I'm not gay. No way. I'm never that!"

"Okay, well, let me tell you this,

Just in case you don't understand,

And maybe jazz can tell you that if you're with somebody,

Whether they change their appearance

Or they live a different way,

She was still born the same way you were born,

And if that is the case, then, yes, you are gay."

Jeanette: I am fully aware of the ignorance

And bigotry that surrounds transgender people,

But to hear it right from her mouth was upsetting.

It's really hard for me to bite my tongue during the call.

Inside, my blood is boiling.

First of all, I am a woman, and my biology,

Yes, you could always say that my chromosomes are male.

However, my brain, my mind, my soul,

That is all female.

That is all woman, and that doesn't make

Ahmir gay because he's not attracted to men.

He's attracted to women, and I am a woman,

And even if he was gay, fine.

Call him gay. Why does it matter?

Tara: I have a friend whose nephew is living

The same way that you're living,

And believe me, dear, any time I came home to talk about him,

Okay, he didn't want to talk about it.

"That's disgusting. That's nasty."

He had friends who he later found out were gay.

My son didn't want to even mention

Or have a conversation about something like that...

Lies.

...because anything, whether it be trans,

Gay, lesbian, whatever,

Ahmir was totally against it, like I said.

Jazz: I can sense that ahmir is getting increasingly

Uncomfortable and frustrated.

I do not really believe

That ahmir has been anti-lgbtq plus his entire life,

And it's really hard to hear your own mother bashing you

Just because you've decided to be in a relationship

With someone that she disagrees with.

Tara: he is the way he is.

That's why I have a problem with dealing with,

"Oh, well, now, this is who I am today,"

He's not telling you the truth!

What truth is he not telling me?

Get off the phone, man!

-Wait, wait, no, no... -Wait a minute!

No, get off the phone.

Ahmir, wait! Wait, wait, wait.

Ahmir!

Ahmir!

Wait, wait, no... Ahmir! Wait, wait, wait.

Jazz: ahmir was right in saying that this would not go as planned.

However, we had to give it a sh*t.

Jazz: I wanted to ask her, like, what is it about

Being transgendered that you don't understand?

I wanted to get into that conversation.

I didn't want her to talk about your personal situation.

Jazz: can we go back up to the room?

Ahmir hung up pretty abruptly and let his emotions get to him.

However, I feel like there's some unfinished business

With this phone call.

I want to talk to his mom a little bit longer,

See if there's still a chance for her

To hear me out and keep her mind open.

-Hello? -Hey.

This is jazz again. -Mm-hmm.

So I wanted to ask you, what about me being transgender

Do you not understand or transgender people in general?

Tara: me, personally, I think that whether you live as a female

Or identify as a female, you were born a male,

And I would rather him not date somebody

Who was the same sex as him, period.

Jazz: okay, so you would rather him not,

But are you okay that he does?

Tara: he can date whoever he wants to date.

I don't have to...

Just like you all don't have to bring people around in your life

Or in your world who you don't want to.

I hope that one day, you can understand that, you know,

I just am who I am, and we're forming a great relationship,

And I wish that you could be a part of it,

But if you choose not to be,

Then I guess it is the way it is.

Tara: okay, and this is another thing, why do you feel like,

And anybody who is of whatever sex

Or whatever they want to believe,

Try to reverse and play the victim all the time?

You're saying to me that, "oh, well,

If you don't want to accept this,

And if you don't want to accept that,"

What about accepting people for who they are?

I'm saying it because my community

Does not have the same equal rights

As other people in this world.

We face discrimination, bullying,

v*olence on a daily basis, and that's why...

That's why we try to fight for acceptance!

-I'm... -Half the time that I go...

I...

-Yeah, we're not doing... -I got a little fed up.

We're not doing that [bleep] again at all.

-She... -That [bleep] is over!

She's calling -- ugh!

The second she just called me a victim,

Like, our community and... -Is victimized.

Is victimized by people like her!

I just -- ugh!

That really bothered me. She...

She didn't want to give you a chance.

She didn't want to say, "you know what, jazz"...

She didn't even listen. Yeah.

Bottom line is, you tried to get through,

And it's her choice at this point.

The ball is in her court.

Jazz: this is probably one of the worst possible ways

This conversation could have gone.

However, it was worth giving it a sh*t.

I think this whole situation with ahmir

And his mother goes beyond me.

I don't know what this means for our relationship,

But I just...

I don't know.

♪♪

♪♪

All right.

Guess this is it.

♪♪

Sucks.

I don't want you to go.

I don't want to go either.

I wish we could just stay in new york longer.

What is your living situation

Going to be like when you get home?

Do you know?

I don't know.

Are you going to be homeless?

Jazz, I'll see when I get to philly.

Jazz: I think this trip was really intense.

Just the way things ended with the conversation with his mom,

I'm worried because it is his mom,

And she's an active part of his life.

A lot of people are bothered by the fact that I'm a transgender.

However, it's a little bit different

When it's your boyfriend's mother.

This is the first big bump in the road in our relationship,

And I'm not sure how we're going to move forward.

It just makes everything more complicated.

I enjoyed being with you % -- %.

Ahmir: yeah, I'm willing to risk my relationship

With my mom to be with jazz

Because jazz and I have a connection.

Even if my mom isn't accepting about it,

It's my happiness at the end of the day.

Only thing that matters is your happiness.

And if you're happy, then who cares?

I want you to come down to florida as soon as possible.

I have my th birthday coming up soon.

There's so much we have to do.

There's a lot we didn't get to do.

We'll get to do it all, eventually,

But we'll figure it out.

You just stay in touch with me, and let me know how things go

Because if there's any problem, then we're here for you.

Jazz: I feel really bad that ahmir is essentially

Choosing between me and his mom.

I don't know, it's been rough.

Like, I did not expect my first relationship

To have this much drama.

Are relationships supposed to be like this?

The bus is about to be here.

All right. Well, bye.

♪♪

All right. See you later.

♪♪

♪♪

Next time on "I am jazz"...

I want to move so bad.

You know how I want to get my own space?

Julie said I should do, like, a little trial run.

No. Either you're out, or you're in.

Now is the time.

To me, it doesn't feel like it's the time.

To me, it feels like a disaster.

So many parents have been facebooking me,

"How's jazz doing?

What happened with jazz's surgery?"

I need people to understand that it wasn't like the surgery

Was botched while jazz was on the table.

They need to hear it from us.

Woman: I'm just completely scared.

It just sounds like jazz was m*nled.

Jazz: hey!

Do you miss me?

Did you still feel that excitement that you did

When you were still first meeting him?

Jazz: I need to figure out exactly what I want.