06x05 - Communications Breakdown

[bunniefuu]

Jazz: previously on "I am jazz"...

I'm trying to get in the best shape of my life.

You're not healthy.

Jeanette: I honestly think that jazz

Will never fully get rid of the binge eating.

You still binge every now and then.

And she's gonna be going off to college,

And I've always been around to help her through those times,

And we're not gonna be there anymore.

My friend noelle is getting her bottom surgery,

But her insurance company

Is not covering the procedure,

So I was thinking about throwing

A drag-show-fundraising thing,

But I just have no idea

How to even throw a drag show.

Ehh. I mean, bad drag is not good.

You go through these hormones at this age.

You don't like your body.

Jazz: I'm getting a little frustrated

Because she's not listening to anyone around her.

You look at someone, and you immediately say,

"That's a man. That's a woman,"

When we're so much more than that.

So did you have a tough decision

To make between harvard and another school or...

For me, like, when I found out that I got into harvard,

I basically knew.yeah.

I just feel like I don't have the drive for harvard.

I absolutely, %,

Do not want you living in california.

You're just too unstable to be that far from home.

Sander: how are you guys feeling? It's the big day.

Jeanette: jazz won't let us know her final decision

Until she comes outside and has the whole family together.

If I went to harvard, I would be pushed to new heights,

And that makes me a little bit nervous.

Jacky: take a deep breath.

--Captions by vitac-- www.vitac.com

Captions paid for by discovery communications

Alright. Take a deep breath.

We're just open to whatever you think

Is right for you.

I'm really, really nervous about revealing

The decision between pomona and harvard.

I just hope that they support me, no matter what.

It is my decision to make, and...

It certainly is.

I've always kind of been a rebel,

Someone who likes to go against the grain.

It started from as soon as I could express myself,

When I said, "I am a girl,"

And it never stopped after that.

It's just this natural part of me to want to fight,

To want to go against,

To push boundaries, and I don't know.

Harvard, it's an incredible school

With incredible people there

Who are changing the world in so many different ways,

And...[ Sighs ]

[ Sniffles ]

I decided I want to be a part of that.

I'm going to harvard.

I'm in -- I'm in shock.

Like, I wasn't... I really didn't know.

Oh, my god.

It's exciting.

When your kid tells you that they're going to harvard,

That's probably one of the greatest feelings ever.

I mean, to be able to say

That my daughter is going to harvard...

I'm proud of you.

Were you guys expecting that?

I didn't know what to expect.

I love you so much.

I'm really happy for her,

And she made the right decision.

I'm excited for you that the pressure

Of this decision is off.

The pressure is on now, though.

Yeah. Different kind of pressure.

I was really surprised she went for harvard.

I thought pomona was a better fit

Because it just seemed to be where she felt she belonged.

I think there's a part of her that gave up

Herself on this decision.

Jazz: I loved pomona.

I really thought that I was going to go there,

So it really took a lot of soul searching,

But I realized harvard just offered everything and more.

Who's your roommate? Do you anything?

I don't know.

That's what she has to do now.

But if I chose pomona,

It would break your heart way too much,

And I can't do that.

There is a great sense of comfort

Knowing that I'm not disappointing my parents

Or other family members with this decision.

Ooh, I'm just feeling very warm right now.

Are you okay?you alright?

It's okay. Breathe.

I just made a really big decision.

It's still setting in.

Reality hasn't set in yet that I'm going to harvard,

But it's gonna have to because I'm going.

You know, I would -- I was originally

Going to choose pomona.

Mm-hmm.

[ Sighs ] I don't know.

I'm feeling good about the decision.

I really am.

Like, I feel like harvard is where I'm meant to be

And that I'll do amazing things there,

But I just have this fear of failure within me.

I just feel like there's still a lot of fear,

And I want to be able to let go of that

And just stop fighting

And be more allowing of this big thing

That is meant for me, and I just...

You've never failed at anything.

I just feel like what I'm gonna tackle at harvard

Is gonna be huge, and I want to succeed.

♪♪

♪♪

Woman: you want more of, like, a natural look?

Um, more natural.

Okay. Yeah.

I am definitely at an emotional and personal crossroads.

I just made the biggest decision of my life.

I'm going to harvard, and it's just scary and intimidating.

I really need to work on some of my habits

And prepare myself to be the best version of me.

What's up?

What are you doing to your hair?

I'm gonna keep the hair stripe and do it magenta.

It's so cool.

I made my college decision.

Oh, my gosh. Tell me.

So I'm going to pomona.

Yay!

No, I'm not. I'm not. I'm going to harvard.

Really?

Really? Yes.

I'm super shocked to hear that jazz is going to harvard

Because I really, genuinely thought

She was gonna want to choose pomona.

I think jazz had a lot of pressure to choose harvard.

Any parent would want you to go there

Just because, "oh, it's harvard."

What made you pick harvard over pomona?

I just feel like at harvard, there's just more opportunities.

Jay: I feel like pomona would have been

A very, like, comforting situation for her

And an easier transition.

Are you guys excited?

We're going to college, all three of us.

So soon, too.

So is there anything new going on?

Yeah, so noelle, she's having complications with her surgery.

I don't know if I told you guys this,

But her insurance is not covering her procedure.

So she started an online campaign to raise money,

And I've been helping her promote that,

But it hasn't really been enough,

So I just have this idea of throwing a drag show

To help her raise $, at this event.

Do you think you guys could actually raise

$, At this event?

$,?$,, Yes, sorry.

Jay: honestly, I am a little bit worried

Because if jazz doesn't reach the goal,

She's gonna be really hard on herself

Because she is a perfectionist,

And she wants the best for noelle,

But to help somebody raise that amount of money, it's insane.

Jazz: there's a drag queen in new york.

Her name is peppermint.

She's actually a transgender drag queen,

And she might be headlining...

Oh, wow....if she could make it.

Since new york, I asked peppermint

To headline the event

Because in order to raise the $,,

We definitely need some sort of headliner

To get butts in these seats,

And I'm really hoping that she says yes.

I'm trying to get performers.

Right now, I'm working on my brothers

And my dad and maybe grandpa, and then I'm gonna...

Oh, yeah. That'd be cute.

I'm thinking of writing a song and then performing that.

Wait. Are you gonna lip-synch or sing?

I'm gonna sing.oh, my gosh.

I'm gonna write a song.

Do you remember michaela paige?

Yeah.

I kind of want to have a talk with her.

Michaela paige is an extremely talented musical artist.

Two years ago, we wrote a song together.

♪ Be exactly who ♪

♪ You want to be ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

But we kind of had a falling out

And haven't talked in a year and a half.

She was my friend, and I just feel like I kind of pushed her

Out of my life in a way a little bit.

You have so much going on, harvard, this show...

Yeah....everything.

I do feel like there is a lot of pressure.

The drag show is only one week away,

And there is still a whole lot to do.

I need to find a venue, book performers, get an outfit,

And on top of that, noelle doesn't really like drag,

So I need to convince noelle to participate in this event.

Oh, my gosh. It looks so pretty.

It looks so good.thank you.

A whole new jazz...wow.

...a new person. Oh, my gosh.

Wow. Yes!

Oh!

♪♪

Here is a pump.these might be nice for you.

Sander said yes to being in the show.

Sander is gonna be a drag queen,

And I'm just so, so proud of him for doing this for noelle.

Here I am, sanderella.

Hey, what do you think about that, sanderella?

Sanderella, I like it.

Sander: I will obviously be uncomfortable dressing in drag.

It's just not really what I've ever done

And not really anything I'm that into,

But it's worth it because it's for a great cause.

I'm willing to do anything to help out noelle.

Go. ♪ Oh, yeah ♪

Go, go. ♪ Oh, yeah ♪

You look -- you just look a little like this.

"Sand the man."

I have never worn high heels before.

You're very bent.it's because these hurt.

-Hey, yo. -Hey.

I invited noelle to this store so that I could pitch the idea

Of the drag-show fundraiser to her.

I want her to be able to move forward with the surgery

Because I know how transformative it is

Because I just experienced it for myself.

What's up?you're looking good.

I can do...

That actually scared me.

But I landed.you did.

The heels than sander is wearing are...

Work, yes. Work, work, work.

They're very, like, top-tier heels where, like,

You got to go to school to learn how to use them.

So you might be wondering why he's wearing heels right now.

No. I'm very much wondering that.

For you. For you.

We're turning him into a drag queen just for you.

Wait. What do you mean, like, you're turning him

Into a drag queen for me?

Okay, well, so because the online campaign

Is going a little bit slow, I wanted to throw an event...

Mm-hmm. ...a drag fundraiser

To help you raise money for your surgery.

Okay.

Um...

There's something about, like, men dressing up

As women specifically just as a performance.

They become everything that people

Stereotypically hate about women

Because that's what they think

Performing as a woman is like.

I want to help you, and I think this is a really good way

That we could raise money.

Yeah. We just want to help you.

But, two, obviously I'm not trying to strut,

Make fun of anything gender-wise.

I should just be able to do it, to help do it for a good cause.

Yeah.so that's why I'm doing it.

I definitely super appreciate you guys

Trying to help me out and everything.

It's just, like, I've always had, like, not a good,

Like, perception of drag.okay.

I really don't support drag, and it's just...

I need the money, but at the same time,

I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings or hurt myself.

You know, we need you onboard.

I know she's not the biggest fan of drag, but it's the only way

I know how to raise as much money as possible.

And if we don't raise the extra $,,

Then the surgery is at stake.

Make it fierce. Work, work.

Come on. Twirl, twirl.

I wanted to ask you three

If you wanted to perform in drag.

-Hey. -Hello.

Mm, you look cute. Thank you.

Today, my mom and I are meeting with jojo and heather.

They said yes to performing in the drag show.

Maybe this one would fit you.that's cute.

And even though I still need to convince noelle

That this is the best way to raise money,

I really just need to keep moving forward

Because the clock is a-ticking.

The very sparkly wednesday addams.

I would put a little more tulle on this skirt to make it

A little more, like, oomph.

I think I'll be a drag king.

Heather: my look is somewhere between

Elton john and lady gaga.

I have no idea yet.

Does it really look okay?

I love it. Yeah.

I definitely feel like it's a costume, like...

Yes. You want that.

How many guys do you have doing this?

Um, right now, I only have sander.

Jeanette: with the drag show being a week away, you know,

And only having sander onboard,

I'm not really sure how jazz is gonna pull it all together.

Yeah. She needs to find some male performers.

I do have peppermint as well,

Who's gonna come and headline the event...

Is she definitely coming, though?

...if she can make it.

Honestly, I'm kind of depending on her because I don't know

If we could find anyone as good as peppermint,

But no matter what, I need to recruit anyone and everyone

Because we need to entertain the crowd

So that all of the attendees donate

As much as they possibly can.

They need to empty their wallets.

Jojo: what if I did drag king?

That's one way to make my dysphoria go, "hi."

-Oh, my goodness. -Oh, that would be terrifying.

That would be scary. I can't see myself as a man.

So how's everything going with grandma nora?

-It's going really well. -Yeah.

Because I wasn't sure.

She texted me the next morning,

And she's like, "can I come over for coffee?"

And it was just nice, and she came and divulged,

I guess, her epiphany,

And she realized that her holdup,

I guess, was, god forbid something were to go wrong,

She would feel responsible.

Really, you guys impacted her and all of us so much.

It was crazy.really?

My grandmother has definitely come onboard,

And she wants to learn more

About my transition, which I think is amazing.

This is what I wanted. I wanted her approval.

And now that I have it, I'm kind of like, "goody, yay!"

We've got a top-surgery consult coming up.

Mm-hmm.

I think we're gonna have her tag along to that.

Okay, that's great.

And then she can ask her questions then.

So she's coming on the consult now?

Yeah, yeah.

That is a huge step forward.

-That's nice. -Wow.

The fact that nora is willing to go

To the breast consult with jojo,

That is a huge step in the right direction

Because before she wanted nothing to do

With any sort of surgery or medical transition,

And now she's willing to participate.

What if you went with me to my consult?

I'd love to go.we can do the boobie talk.

Boobie consult!

♪♪

What are you doing?

Well, I'm going through some of jazz's old stuff.

What made you start going through this stuff, though?

So much stuff in this house, and I'm like,

"What am I gonna do with all this?"

And then I'm thinking about her going away.

Well, the kids are moving on.

Jazz is going to harvard. It's just weird.

Like, I feel like it's surreal, and honestly,

I'm still in a state of denial

That I'm gonna have an empty household.

Instead of waking up and staring at jazz's room,

Every day I'm gonna walk out and be like, "she's gone."

[ Sniffles ]

Oh, I'm getting all teary-eyed.

You are. Here she comes.

Who am i?

Jazz: that's cute.

Mommy, daddy, look. It's you.

So what's up?

Why are you guys going through all this?

I'm just trying to sort through stuff.

So what have you done to prepare for college?

Um, well, I actually submitted my housing application

On the first day it was sent out,

But that's because I wanted to ensure

That I got a single-room dorm

Because I want a single room

So I could dilate every single day in privacy.

So what else do you need to do before you go off to school?

I actually have to do an expository-writing exam,

And they're going to compare my essay

With all the other students at harvard,

And they're gonna place you according

To your writing abilities.

I basically have to do a writing exam against,

Like, the best and smartest people

In the country of my age.

There are a million things I need to do

Before I head off to harvard in the fall.

You have to do math placement also, you know?

I have to do a math placement as well.

I should be excited and happy,

But I have a lot of fear within me

Because I am putting so much pressure on myself

To live up to this high standard to succeed.

When do you have to pick classes?

I don't know.

I've been really behind the past few days.

Just so much is going on.

I mean, there's a lot I have to do,

And it's a little overwhelming.

You have to get a grip on your anxiety.

I'm just worried.

What if I do fail?

What if I don't have the drive, and I don't push myself

And I end up missing out

On a lot of important experiences?

Don't...you're looking at it a little bit too stringently.

You need to be a little more loose

And expect to fail a little bit, you know, and learn from it.

To me, the hardest part was getting into this school.

Now the journey begins,

But jazz is always stuck in her head.

Greg: and I think there is so much going on

In jazz's life right now.

She's kind of bit off more than she could chew.

I also have another project that I'm working on,

And I need you, grandpa and griffen

To meet with me tomorrow.

I can't tell you where, but I'll send you an address.

Greg: my radar is up.

I'm thinking, "this kid is up to something no-good."

You're not gonna tell me where we're going?

You're just gonna text me an address

And I need to have the three of us together?

Just wait for the address.

Freaky.

♪♪

Jazz: this color is just really good.

Ooh, I really like this one.

Yeah.

Jazz: I am on a mission

Because I need performers for this event.

This is where she wants us to meet her, huh?

-Yep. -Oh, my god.

Jazz: so I invited griffen, grandpa and my dad

Because I'm gonna ask them to perform

As drag queens in the drag show.

Hello.she's got purple hair now.

Oh, my god.

However, they don't know why they're coming here.

As you guys know, I am working to throw a drag show

For noelle's surgery to raise money

Because her insurance company is not covering the procedure,

So we're trying to find performers.

But, yeah, I wanted to ask you three

If you wanted to participate and perform in drag.

So it's not just getting dressed,

It's actually singing a song or lip-synching a song.

You don't have to sing,

But you would lip-synch to a song,

Or you would just walk the runway.

Let me tell you something.

For noelle, I would consider it.

I really would. She's special.

I look at noelle as somebody who deserves the best,

And the first thing that goes through my mind is, "why not?"

Have you ever been in drag before or dressed up before?

Oh, all the time.

All the time!that's grandpa's hobby.

Yeah, your grandpa is always in drag shows.

A professional cross-dresser.

Sure. Yeah, yeah.

I am so proud of grandpa jack for stepping up and agreeing

To do this drag show because I know

That it's completely out of his comfort zone.

I love grandpa jack so, so much.

Since we're here,

I say we at least try on a couple of wigs.

I don't feel like I look like a drag queen.

I definitely look like a barbarian.

You're gonna have makeup on.

You're gonna have a dress on.

Griffen: you look like one of those, like,

Crazy scientists from the movies.

Griffen and dad, they're a little more apprehensive.

I'm really hoping that, you know, if they do this,

They'll see how easy it is.

I'm cousin itt.

Alright. Make it dramatic.

Make it fierce. Okay, work, work.

Come on. Twirl, twirl.

And maybe they'll get into it and want to participate.

Fist bump, grandpa.

Thank you for participating.you're the man.

You need the makeup and everything else, too.

Yeah. That's probably not gonna happen.

I hate to say it.

Just not my thing. It's not dad's thing.

It's not either of our things.

You don't want to do that?not really.

I have no problem with people that do drag.

I don't want to be the one

That's doing the entertaining. I'd rather be entertained.

Well, have you ever done it before?

No. I've never done drag before.

So you just said it's not your thing,

So how do you know it's not your thing?

I know it's not my thing

Because wearing makeup is not my thing.

Jack: does it feel threatening to put on makeup?

Griffen: it just has to do with what I'm comfortable with,

And I'm not that comfortable putting on makeup

And dresses and heels and...

I'm not comfortable with high heels,

And I'm not wearing skirts.

You know, I thought you guys would say,

"Yeah, we want to step up to the plate

And really step out of our comfort zone

And do this for you and for noelle."

You seem disappointed, and I'm sorry, jazz.

I'm just not somebody that's just gonna go onstage

And walk down a catwalk.

And I really want to support noelle,

So I'll think of another way to help everybody.

It's okay. I understand.

You guys just don't like doing that, so it's okay.

I don't want to be too forceful because when I was younger,

I wanted to wear a dress,

And I was upset when I had to wear boy clothes.

And I feel like it's the opposite for them,

But I'm not gonna lie.

I am pretty disappointed, mostly in myself,

Because I thought this was going to be easier to pull off,

And I just don't want to let noelle down.

♪♪

Jojo: grandma is here today for my breast consult.

Jazz, you waited, and you grew,

So the same thing could happen to her,

And that's what I'm trying to get her to understand.

You know, you're this now...

Jeanette: making some...jacky: we're having a party?

...margaritas,

And then we're gonna set them on fire.

Really? Flaming margaritas.

-Hey! -Hi. Come on in.

I invited my mom and kim over for some drinks

And celebrate jazz getting into harvard.

Have you ever done this before?

No. Okay, fire extinguisher?

We have one.

Kim: jeanette always has great ideas.

Flaming margaritas, I'm not sure.

This could go either way,

And I'm thinking more bad than good.

Oh, god.

I can't believe we're gonna do this.

I'll drink to that.

The last time I had some kind of flaming drink,

I singed my bangs.

Jacky: this rum doesn't want to burn.

Jeanette: you know what? It's blowing out.

It's going out as soon as i...

Jeanette, it was such a good idea.

Well, it was nice to see you.

This lighting of the margaritas, it's awful.

It's going bad.

I don't know if we didn't put enough booze in

Or if it's just...

God is protecting us, I think.

There we go! Yeah, yay!

Look it, your idea worked.

Oh, my god.and cheers to that.

Cheers to that. Oh, my god.

Do you think harvard gives out bumper stickers?

Are you gonna have to have "harvard mom" next to your...

"Gator mom," "harvard mom."

..."Gator mom."Yeah.

So jazz is all excited

About her harvard acceptance?

Yeah.

Do you think she's scared going off to harvard, which is...

Yeah. I mean, it's intimidating.

...instantly major?

But I keep telling her, the hardest part was getting in.

I think jeanette is sticking her head in the sand

About the challenge.

The smarts are there,

But she's gonna be up against everybody

Who's brilliant, and jazz is a perfectionist.

The bar is set very high for jazz by jazz,

And so how will she handle this?

Will she go into retreat? Will she drop out?

Will she sit in her room and eat bonbons and doughnuts?

That's the question mark.

We can say to her,

"It's okay if you're not perfection."

She raises the bar very high for herself.

Let's hope she doesn't, you know, self-sabotage.

You know, if she does, then she will not succeed,

And that will take her down another route.

But sometimes in life,

You take something on, and you don't get it accomplished.

Yeah.

But life goes on, and she's got to learn that.

I am not fine with her failing out of college.

Like, that is -- that would not be cool.

She get adjusted...

She's the valedictorian for a reason.

She likes to be the best at everything.

I just hope she doesn't take on too much right now

With all this coming up, the drag show,

Because she has to take entrance exams at harvard.

They have to see how smart you are to decide

Which classes they put you in.

Wow. Oh, really?

So she's already panicking. This is what she does.

Like, she freaks out about things

That she should take in stride, but that's her.

Jeanette: I'm a little worried about jazz and all her emotions

And all that she has on her plate right now.

Depression is over here, and the binge eating over there,

And they're back there, and at any time,

They can come to the surface.

She's got a lot going on.

She's got a lot.

♪♪

Wait one second. I have a surprise.

Okay.

Oh, kitty!

Oh, my goodness.

Come here, baby!

His name is marvel.

I rescued him two days ago.

Jazz: noelle is like a sister to me,

And she deserves so, so much happiness,

And I feel like this surgery has the ability to offer her that.

Alright. Well, we have to skype peppermint.

Even though I'm doing a lot to prepare for the show,

Ultimately it comes down to noelle and what she wants,

So I'm really hoping that peppermint can change her mind,

But if not, I don't know what we're going to do

To raise the money.

Peppermint is here, ready to skype.

She's pretty.

Noelle: I need the money,

But I'm honestly just super conflicted,

And I don't know anything about peppermint.

The only thing I know is that she's a drag queen

And that jazz is endorsing her.

Hi.peppermint, what's up?

What's up?

Hi. It's nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you, too.

So how are things going with you?

Things are going okay.

The deadline to raise money for the surgery is coming up.

Wow. I'm curious.

What is it that you don't really like about drag?

In my opinion, drag has kind of now just turned

Into a place where, like, cis men,

Whether they're gay or straight,

Just have a place to make fun of femininity

And, like, the women who embody the feminine role.

I can understand that. Look.

There are some drag queens who have a more campy approach,

Which can certainly be viewed as misogynist.

I've certainly met queens like that.

I've met bitchy queens.

I've met comedy queens.

I've met fashion queens, so I guess my point is

That one queen can't take responsibility

For any other queen,

Just like one trans person cannot take responsibility

For the entire trans community or population.

Peppermint is making an excellent case

For the drag show,

And I'm hoping that's enough to convince noelle.

Here's the thing, these would be performers that would know

That they're stepping into a realm

That's a family-friendly zone,

That we want to be tasteful and respectful,

That there's nothing transphobic happening

And there's nothing that's misogynistic happening.

Just be open to the idea of allowing the community,

People who are part of our lgbtqia+

Beautiful community to support you.

As peppermint is talking, I'm kind of just thinking about,

Like, everything that she says and, like, the different ways

That you can kind of interpret drag,

And that really is calming me down.

I'm a debater, you know? That's what I do in school.

That's what my passion is, and you make good arguments.

Like...

Mm-hmm, so you feel more open about this?

Yeah.

This conversation has made me feel a lot more comfortable

About, like, the entire fundraising and everything.

It's going to be fabulous.yeah.

Are you actually excited about it now?

Yeah.

The fact that I have a friend who's willing to go so far

To just ensure my health and happiness means a lot to me

Because I grew up as just,

Like, this introverted kid who was okay being on my own.

And so having all of this help is kind of a unique

And special thing to me.

So I think I have a venue, but I'm kind of lacking

In the performer department right now.

What about you? Are you coming?

I did save the date, jazz. I can make it.

Yay!

[ Squeals ][ laughs ]

Jazz: I am just so happy right now.

Noelle is onboard.

We have a headliner.

We're gonna be able to move forward with this idea,

And it just feels like the stars have aligned

And that this entire event is coming together.

Thank you so much.

Thank you.it's my pleasure.

Bye. Goodbye.

♪♪

What's up? Hug!

Good morning.

I'm so happy to see you here.

Jojo: grandma is here today with us for my breast consult.

I'm really happy that she's here

Because this is someone I grew up with and I look up to,

And I'm really proud of her for making a effort to be involved.

-Hello. -Hi.

-Checking in for... -Welcome to take shape.

Heather: I'm really happy that my mom came out today.

I feel like it's a big step.

There's a lot of, I think, concerns my mom has

Towards this in general, but my baby is growing up.

There's no way we can avoid this,

And just help her give the wings to fly,

And this is part of that journey.

I'm excited.me, too.

There's one thing I do want to hear today,

And it's that I'm a good candidate for surgery

Because if I could have this surgery tomorrow, I would.

You did your surgery?

I didn't end up getting a surgery with him.

I got lucky that I was able to develop

And eventually grow these, so happened naturally.

I've visited dr. Sassani before.

Dr. Sassani: your left breast is a little bit bigger

Than the right breast, so we want to even that out,

Either by using an implant

Or making the left one a little bit smaller.

However, my breasts,

They ultimately grew and shaped themselves out,

And now they look great, but jojo wasn't as fortunate.

Hi, jojo. How are you?

Hi. Nice to meet you.

Dr. Sassani, very pleased to meet you.

Welcome to the office.thank you.

Jazz. Hello.

Oh, my gosh. Great to see you again.

You look fabulous. Thank you.

Hi. Heather: good morning.

You're mom? Yes, heather.

Good morning.

And grandma, nice to meet you.

Yes, nice to meet you, as well.

I wanted to be part of the consultation

So I can ask questions and see what's going on

Because this whole journey is very overwhelming.

First of all, I'm going to type in some things to the computer.

Okay, so you are ?yes.

And what is your current cup size?

Very, very, very small a.

Okay, and what size would you like to be?

Like a moderate c cup.

Okay.

Jojo, how long have you been on estrogen?

Two years.

Okay, great, and are you currently seeing

A licensed mental-health counselor?

Nope, not anymore.you haven't had any...

Oh, you've had therapy in the past, though?

I've had it in the past, but she moved.

Very first step is for her to get deep counseling.

Okay. Alright.

We'll talk about that. Alright.

So I'm gonna take some measurements now,

If you want to step out.

Jazz: it's awesome that nora is willing to be

A part of these next steps in jojo's transition.

However, I could tell that nora is not as fully onboard

As I initially thought.

So you're feeling a little fearful about this all?

Just a lot.

Just a lot.

Yeah, I understand that.

I still do think this is a good step for her, though.

It makes her feel better about herself.

She's going to feel better about herself,

But once this newness goes away,

Then it's going to be focused on the bottom surgery.

But this physical change is much more

Than just getting a surgery.

It does come with emotional benefits,

And if she could feel more confident and comfortable

In her body after this,

Then that changes her whole persona.

Want to come back in?

Sure.

Jojo: I'm really hoping dr. Sassani thinks

That I'm able to get the surgery.

It's something that is really needed for me

To help me feel whole about myself.

So there are a couple things that we require

Prior to surgery.

So one of them is that for top surgery,

We do need one letter

From a licensed mental-health counselor

Saying that you're ready to proceed

With the next state of your transition.

The other thing is

That you have to be to have surgery,

But there are exceptions.

I mean, these are just guidelines.

And if the patient has a profound diagnosis

Of gender dysphoria, then we're allowed to proceed

When they're less than to have the surgery.

Um, but...

Jojo certainly is a good candidate for it.

♪♪

Nora: here is my concern.

Jazz, you waited, and you grew,

So the same thing could happen to her,

And that's what I'm trying to get her to understand.

You know, you do this now,

But you have that opportunity to grow.

Jojo feels like hers have kind of hit a plateau,

And she doesn't feel like they're still developing, so...

And that's why we normally have people wait

Until they've been on estrogen for at least a year,

And you've been on for two years.

So if you're on for two years

Without any further breast development,

It's pretty safe to say that your breasts

Are gonna stay the same size without an intervention.

Do you ever turn somebody away from doing surgery?

I've tried to dissuade people from having surgery, yeah.

I just have to make sure that they're doing it

For the right purposes

And that they're a good candidate for it,

But as I was saying before,

Jojo is a good candidate for the surgery.

Heather: thank you.

Alright, guys.jojo: thank you.

Okay, have a great day. Okay, bye-bye.

Jazz: thank you so much.

Nora: is that going to help her? I mean, is it the right answer?

And it's not because she's got the other part that's still...

Is still male.

That was, um, very informative.

Jojo: I trust him.

He made me feel really good about it.

And I really like how he emphasized

How you're a good candidate for this

And that, you know, this is a good thing, so...

Mm-hmm.

Um...

I feel... It's hard to explain.

I just feel that she's too young.

-You want her to wait. -I do. I do.

I have to wake up every day feeling awful about my body.

It's making me feel really upset.

I just feel that it's, like, it's hard to explain.

It's making it real?

Yes, yeah.

I think...yes.

It's making it real that I'm trans?

Jazz: I really do think

That nora is finally having to come to terms

With the fact that jojo is trans,

And it's a lot for nora,

Who doesn't feel like transgender is a real thing.

"It's just a phase. Jojo is gonna change her mind."

And she still is holding on to that perspective

And those viewpoints,

But it's ultimately jojo's decision.

You know, it's just gonna help her look down

At her body and feel okay.

I just feel that that's an adult decision

That you're making.

I'm just not ready to...

[ Breathes deeply ]

Well, let's focus on the positive.

The consult was really, really great.

Dr. Sassani was amazing.

Oh, jojo.

Just...i just don't want to talk about it anymore, please.

Nora: I may not agree sometimes,

Just like you're not gonna agree with me sometimes.

Okay, I'm just...

I'm really done having this conversation, please.

I don't want to talk about it anymore.

Grandma has completely backtracked.

She's really caught up in her own feelings and own world.

She's being a little selfish about it.

You know, this isn't her transition.

This isn't her life.

This is my life.

It's gonna be years

Before she can do the bottom surgery.

This is at least so close and attainable

That, you know,

It'll give her some kind of peace.

Mom doesn't always see what exactly jojo goes through.

Jojo struggles.

My mom doesn't understand

Everything that trans people go through.

Well, she's got to be able to hear what other people say.

Nora: I'm not gonna sugarcoat it for her.

You're walking in an adult world.

You're making adult decisions, and, "oh, yes.

I can go and do this and what I want,

And grandma is gonna be okay."

Well, no, I'm not.

I am so fed up in how she feels.

It's really starting to upset me and anger me.

Yeah. I understand,

But I think this is one of those situations

Where you have to say, "grandma, I love you,

But I'm not gonna let your fears and worries affect me."

I just feel so bad because jojo was ecstatic

Coming out of the appointment,

And now she has a completely different aura.

Don't you think I'm concerned?

Don't you think that's just my concern?

I know what you're concerned about, and I know how you feel,

But at the end of this day, this is something that...

A decision that I have to make.

I can't live like this anymore.

Sometimes it's not all just about you.

♪♪

♪♪

Jazz: I really feel like these past few months

Have been hard for me and my friends.

Both noelle and jojo are also experiencing

Their own individual challenges.

It's just been a lot for all three of us,

And we're trying to transform

And come out as happiness and rainbows,

But we got to get there.

We just really need to maintain a positive attitude,

But some days are harder than others.

[ Cellphone dings ]

Jazz, it's me, peppermint.

I know we were talking about me

Coming to the drag-show fundraiser,

And I was really, really hoping

I'd be able to make it work with my schedule, but look.

Things are so slammed right now.

I'm so, so sorry.

I was really looking forward to being there, so listen.

I'm so devastated.

Noelle really deserves this, but you know I love you,

And send my best to everybody.

Bye-bye.

Jazz: now that peppermint can't headline the event,

I really just don't have a backup plan.

I don't know if this drag show

Is gonna even come together at all,

And I don't want to disappoint noelle

Because I know how much this surgery means to her,

But I don't know what to do.

I am truly just feeling defeated and doubtful of everything.

Right now, I am just feeling hopeless.

It really does feel like a monster

Is just consuming me.

♪♪

How are you? How are you?

Good. Come on in.

Thanks for coming out in this crazy weather.

-Yeah. -Hi.

Hi, how are you?

Wet. Oh, no.

When I saw heather at the thrift store,

I was under the impression that nora

Was onboard % with jojo's transition,

But they had a consult with the doctor,

And heather said it didn't go well.

So I'm here for her, you know,

Offer any support or insight I can.

So I know you went to see my friend, russell sassani.

Yes, mm-hmm.

Tell me everything because jazz didn't give me much information.

Heather: I asked jeanette to come.

I just wanted a little bit of backup

Helping my mom understand why this procedure

Would be game-changing for jojo.

Because at the end of the day, we're still this family unit

That has to navigate this together, someway, somehow.

He says that jojo is an excellent candidate,

But it's okay to say no sometimes, too, you know?

We've said yes to this child a lot.

Yes. I know.

We've got one of them, too.yep, yep.

I walk on eggshells with jazz more than the other kids.

I'm just worried about her mental well-being

With her depression.

I don't think you can walk on eggshells.

I shouldn't have to filter what I'm saying.

Raising a transgender child

Cannot be compared to raising a cisgender child

Because they are more fragile.

I think nora comes from a generation

Where it's hard giving up power to a child, and I get it.

It's hard to do that, but you don't mess around

With transgender youth.

Dysphoria, unfortunately, kills children.

It does.

I know parents who have lost their children

Because it was so bad. It wasn't the bullying.

It wasn't society because they had the love of their parents.

It was just the hatred of their body.

There's a certain level of dysphoria.

Some days are better than others,

And I'd like to get her to a place

To where she can wake up and feel whole.

Heather: if I denied my daughter the surgery,

That would mean possible su1c1de, to be frank.

It's not easy to talk about.

It's not easy to admit, but that's the truth.

I hear what you guys are saying,

But you don't like your body,

You can't always go in for surgery.

At some point, you're gonna have to love your body.

At her age, somebody has...

It's like taking her innocence away.

I know it doesn't sound...

Well, you're trying to find words to put your feelings...

Yeah, to what I'm feeling here.

...and how to describe it.

What I'm hearing is, like, "this is your baby,

And now your baby's body is being altered."

Yes. She won't be the same.

She would be, just happier.

I don't think nora is a closed-minded person.

She's definitely firm in her own beliefs,

But I think she's in the process of going down the path

That leads to acceptance of the situation.

They just need more help than I can provide.

She's a great kid, really is,

But I think you should go to counseling,

Sit down with a therapist and hash it out.

I'd like to see all of us really go.

♪♪

♪♪

There is so much going on in my life right now,

Between graduating high school, putting this drag show together

And preparing for college.

I feel like there is a -pound weight weighing on my shoulder.

It's just causing me to have even more chaotic thoughts,

And it's triggering my binge eating.

I use food as a way to escape reality

And just not be concerned about the things

I have to be concerned about.

I know better. I've been in this place before.

I shouldn't be making these mistakes again.

♪♪

But right now, I am just feeling hopeless about everything.

It really does feel like a monster is just consuming me.

♪♪

Jeanette: next time on "I am jazz"...

I would never imagine my dad would dress up as a drag queen.

Oh, my god.jack: you love this, huh?

[ Laughing ]

I am not getting it out.

Okay, I'm gonna just exit for one second.

Michaela: breathe. It's okay.

Oh, my god.

What the [bleep]

I need to run away.

Emcee: ladies and gentlemen, welcome dr. Jack b. Nimble.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Grandpa dropped my jaw.