06x06 - Draglicious

[bunniefuu]

Previously on "I am jazz"...

Harvard -- it's an incredible school

With incredible people there.

I decided I want to be a part of that.

I'm going to harvard.

Jacky: I thought pomona was a better fit.

I think there's a part of her

That gave up herself on this decision.

My friend noelle is getting her bottom surgery,

But her insurance company is not covering the procedure,

So I was thinking about throwing a drag show.

Jazz: I asked peppermint to headline the event

Because in order to raise $,,

We definitely need some sort of headliner.

I'm thinking of writing the song and then performing that,

But I need help with the instrumental.

Peppermint: hey, jazz. It's me, peppermint.

And I was really hoping

I'd be able to make the drag-show fundraiser.

I'm so, so sorry.

I was really looking forward to being there, so...

Jazz: there is so much going on in my life right now

Between graduating high school,

Putting this drag show together, and preparing for college.

It's triggering my binge eating.

I know better. I've been in this place before.

I shouldn't be making these mistakes again.

It really does feel like a monster is just...

Consuming me.

--Captions by vitac-- www.vitac.com

Captions paid for by discovery communications

♪♪

Jacky: you didn't want any sugar in this today?

Jack: I don't need sugar. I just need caffeine.

-Hi. -Oh, hi.

Hi, honey. Hi. You've got your hands full.

Yes, I do. These are...

What's there?...dresses for you.

Jacky: hmm!

Jeanette: there's only a few days until the drag show.

In all my years of existence,

I would never imagine that this man would dress up

As a drag queen.

Let me tell you something. All of us have a little bit

Of the opposite sex in them.

-Marci bowers always says that. -Yes.

I'm curious to see what comes out when I put on a dress.

-Ohh! -I'm not -- I have no secrets.

I am delighted that jack has given himself over,

Body and soul,

To the drag show for a wonderful cause.

I'm back to my high-school height.

Maybe I like being an exhibitionist. I don't know.

But I'm looking forward to raising money for noelle.

She deserves everything she can get with us.

She's been very supportive to jazz.

Just try walking a few steps. Slowly, slowly.

Not bad. Good legs.

-It hurts, though. -All right.

Jeanette: it is completely shocking

How well my dad looks in high heels.

Like, his legs are nicer than mine!

Ta-da! Here he comes.

I don't feel very feminine in this.

[ Laughs ]

-Work it. -Turn around a little bit.

Twirl the skirt. But just don't go too far 'cause...

How can I twirl with these?

Jeanette: I think having a transgender granddaughter

Has changed my dad.

Honey, the hairs tickle.

[Laughing] oh, my god!

[ Women laughing ]

My dad is supposed to be a drag queen, not a hag queen.

We don't want him with a cape and an apple. Done.

♪♪

[ Laughs ]

Dad, you need to tuck.

-He's so busy holding up... -I'm sorry.

-It splits too high up. -Yeah.

No. Scarred for life.

Jacky: whoo-hoo!

I appreciate you being a really good sport...

-Yeah, I -- -...because we need bodies.

We lost our headliner. Miss peppermint?

Oh, really?

But now jazz is stepping up her game.

She's writing her own song.she working on it?

She's working on it. It's not done.

How -- she's running out of time.

Yes. I don't know why she puts extra pressure on herself

To do these things. She's her own worst enemy.

Jeanette: it's just a lot of pressure

To get up there and perform your own song,

And she's juggling so much right now.

She's planning the drag show,

She's performing in the drag show,

And she has to write an essay for harvard,

And I don't want her under that kind of pressure.

Jacky: how is harvard coming along?

I know that jazz is worried about failing at harvard.

But I told her, you don't have to get straight a's.

-Yeah. -You don't have to be perfect.

You're at harvard.

Get a "b" or a "c." It's okay.

Jacky: when you raise the bar as high as jazz does,

It is almost an insurmountable task.

She needs to try to let go

And not demand so much of herself.

Otherwise, it's expl*si*n time.

With jazz leaving, how are you gonna handle all of this?

Any plans for yourfuture, what your ideas are,

What you've got in store for yourself?

Well, for the last two years, I've been fighting with greg

'Cause he wanted to downsize.

-Yeah. -And I said, "absolutely not.

I will never leave this house. I'm dying in this house."

But then as the kids are starting to leave,

I realize the house is just full of memories.

It's sad.

I really feel like I am ready to start a new chapter.

Jeanette: when jazz leaves,

That's gonna be the last of my chickadees,

And her room is, like, right across from me.

I've spent the most time with her. We're super close.

And there's gonna be a hole in my heart when she leaves.

Guys, I got to get out of this outfit.

My great toe is falling in love with my pinkie,

And I just want to separate the two.

Welcome to the world of women.

You know, the only thing I'm gonna miss...

Your shoes....is being '".

I'm gonna have to go back to '", '".

[ Laughs ]

♪♪

-Excuse me? -Hello.

Do you guys mind if I give you a flyer

To one of our friends' drag-show event?

-Thank you. -Thanks.

Jojo, kaci, jay, and I are handing out flyers today

To promote the drag-show fundraiser.

It's a free event, but donations are encouraged.

Noelle started an online fundraising campaign

That we've all been promoting, and it's reached $,,

And that means we have to raise $, at the drag show.

Good luck, ladies. I hope you...

-Thank you. -Nice meeting you.

Jazz: so I am feeling a lot of pressure right now.

I feel like all eyes are on me to make the show a success,

And even though I was able to find a venue,

There have been so many different challenges,

And I've been binge eating lately,

And I need to really get that under control.

Peppermint was gonna be headlining the event,

But she's not able to make it, and that was gonna be, like,

The main appeal to draw an audience

To come to this event.yeah.

Who do you have performing so far?

My brother sander.

Grandpa jack's actually performing, as well.

Oh, my gosh. That's gonna be so funny.

My mom and cheryl, noelle's mom.

But, yeah, so, I'm doing a song and performing.

That sounds awesome.

Jazz: I'm planning on performing

An original song at the drag show,

But I don't have much developed.

Yes, I do kind of have a chorus and some of the lyrics,

But I really need a musical artist

Who could record the track for my song.

I texted michaela to see if she was open to talking tomorrow,

And she said yes.

I didn't mention the song or anything, though.

After everything that happened with our last song,

I don't want it to be like,

"Oh, I haven't seen you in a year and a half.

Can you help me write this song?"

Like, I don't want her to feel like I'm using her

Or anything, so...

Michaela and I wrote a song together,

And we were planning on recording it,

But we disagreed over the songwriting credits.

♪ Be exactly who you wanna be ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

After that, we really never had a conversation again.

I didn't handle the situation in the past

The way I would've wanted to.

I really just want to reconnect with her and make things right

Because I feel like we haven't really made amends

Since what happened in the past.

Kaci: honestly, you making amends with michaela,

It's, like, a really mature thing of you to do,

And I'm really proud of you 'cause I feel like

Young jazz would have not.

-Yeah. -You would've ran away.

In the past, I would've never really reached out

To her trying to fix things.

I feel like that's one relationship

Where I do have regrets,

Where I feel like things could have been different

If we had a specific conversation

That we never ended up having,

So I'm hoping that we can have that conversation now

And she's forgiven me because I really just don't want

To live with any regrets.

♪♪

♪♪

Michaela: when I first got the text from jazz

That she wanted to sit down and talk, I was shocked.

The last time I saw her

Was actually the performance that we did of our song,

And I have questions about why everything just fell apart.

The last time I saw you, we performed this song,

And I had my own life, and you had your own life.

Yeah, I actually want to talk about that,

What happened with everything in the past.

I feel like we really haven't had a conversation about it.

No.

So, the song -- I came in with the lyrics,

And then we worked on it together,

And we were gonna record it together,

And it didn't end up working out because at the time,

I was so in the mind-set

That, "this is my song. I wrote this song."

You know, like, "yes, she helped change some of the words,

And she's working on this with me."

But I really didn't have an understanding

Of how songwriting credits work,

And I feel like you should have gotten a bigger percentage

Than I was willing to give,

And I just feel like I was being greedy.

And I just want to apologize.

So, when it came to all of that...

I was upset, but I have no hard feelings.

I never had any hard feelings.

I'm -- I'm so glad you reached out to me.

Jazz: I feel a great sense of relief

Because it's hard for me to admit my mistakes

And say, "you know what? I messed up in the past,

But I'd really like to restart and move on."

It's amazing.

I can already see from you and friends of mine

Just the change that comes with having the surgery.

Mm-hmm.

Jazz taking ownership of her part in our friendship

But also admitting her ignorance

About what really goes into writing a song

Shows how much she's grown and matured.

Looking back, like, I feel like

I just didn't even want to record the song,

So, like, the situation that went down

Was kind of a manifestation of me deep down

Not really wanting to record it.

So, yeah, my whole life, I've been preaching about,

"Be who you are. Just be you."

And now I'm realizing that, you know,

I haven't really been living in my truth

The entire time, and since the surgery,

I feel like I'm stepping into my truth,

And I'm more aware of who I am and what I want for myself.

And I actually wanted to ask you about something.

I feel like this is -- this might be too much to ask,

Especially with what happened last time

With the whole songwriting fiasco.

Uh, for my friend, noelle -- you've met noelle before.

She needs to raise $, for her surgery

Because the insurance company is not covering it,

So we're doing a drag-show fundraiser.

I'm writing a song that I'm gonna be performing, too,

But I don't play any instruments,

So I was wondering if you knew anyone in the music community

Who could help me write the track for the song.

-Don't feel pressured at all... -Oh.

...because I don't want you to think that's, like,

The reason that I'm inviting you here right now.

I would absolutely love to be part of it

In any way that you would want me.

Michaela: despite what might have happened before between jazz and i,

Hearing her out and hearing her speak from her heart,

I know that there's no part of her that wants to use me,

And it's all part of helping noelle.

How could I say no?

I do have a piano player in mind that I have worked with...

Cool.

...who's amazing, so I'll make a phone call,

And I'd love to be there to help guide you.

-Cool. Okay. -Let's do it.

Yes! It's gonna work out! Ohh!

And I also have one more ask.

I'm looking for performers,

And I know you're a singer and performer,

So I was wondering, do you want to perform, as well?

-Oh, heck yeah! -Yay! Ahh!

I can't wait. I'm so excited.

Hmm!

♪♪

Welcome to jazz's charity fundraiser.

Greg: this drag show is poppin'.

Jackie o's ghost and dr. Jack b. Nimble.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Grandpa? He dropped my jaw.

[ Whistling ]

♪♪

Sander: grandpa, you like my heels?

Jazz just gave them to me. I'm like...

Whose -- wait. Whose heels are those?

These are mine.

Jazz: we've all been promoting the drag show,

However, now that we don't have a headliner,

I'm a little bit worried that the audience

Is gonna be disappointed.

-Hello! -Hey!

-I'm jazz. -I'm rolly. Nice to meet you.

Jazz: so we need to take these performances to the next level.

So, you guys don't really have to actually use everything

We're doing exactly in the order that we're doing it here.

-But... -I'm glad you said that.

You know, but we're just learning a lot of cool moves

That you guys can put together.

And you got to give me attitude 'cause drag queens

Have attitude, and they're divas, so...

Sander: fun fact -- seventh grade,

Griffen and I were put in a dance class,

And we immediately were gonna switch out

Until we realized it was me, griffen, and girls.

So I actually have some dance moves in my...repertoire.

Work it, girl! Work it!

-We hit one. We hit two. -I think I made a mistake.

I can see sander and jazz did not get

Their performance abilities from their grandfather.

And turn around. And booty and booty.

Turn around. Shimmy, shimmy, shimmy.

Grandpa...grandpa. [ Chuckles ]

Sander: my poor feet.

Jazz: ugh! Dancing is gonna be worse than writing my harvard essay.

Okay, guys!

So, are we ready to maybe do it one more time?

We're gonna work it. Show me your fierce pose.

Yes. Uh-huh.

Grandpa, what's your fierce pose?

Okay. Thank you. Come on, girl! Work it out!

[ Dance music plays ]

Rolly: five, six, seven, eight.

One, two-two, three, four.

Five, six, seven. Drop it down.

[ Music fades ]

You guys are ready!

I'm proud of you, grandpa, 'cause you kept up with them.

And I'm gonna be a true drag queen

Because you're gonna have to drag me to do it right.

[ Laughs ]

♪♪

[ Piano playing ]

Oh, I dig that. I like that a lot.

That's something I'm working on.

Oh, this is a big space. Hello!

-Oh. Hey. -Hi!

I'm so, so grateful to michaela

For helping me find someone

To record the track for the song even on such sh*t notice.

I honestly wrote these lyrics super quickly,

So I'm still trying to figure it out for myself.

Okay, so, where do we start? How do we do this?

Do I just start singing?yeah, why not?

I just want to complement what you're doing.

-Okay. Cool. -That's my goal.

So it starts with -- ♪ i... ♪

Oh, my god. See, I'm nervous right now already.

Breathe!

[ Exhales deeply ]

It's just when all eyes are on you

And they're like, "sing."

I won't stare. I'll sit here and...

-Close our eyes. -Don't stare me. Okay.

So it goes --

Maybe I need to do it without the words first.

Actually, no. How do I do this?

[ Exhales sharply ] it just needs to come out.

I -- oh, my god. See? Hah...

Okay. I got you.

Hmm. Help me. Michaela hug.

I think jazz is nervous about just bringing it to life

And being afraid of what people are gonna think,

But she needs to get past that insecurity.

Jazz: okay.

Huh. I don't know why this is so hard for me.

I thought I was gonna be fine doing this. Okay.

♪ I come from the... ♪

Oh, my god. Bah. Bah.

Don't be so nervous.

I just -- like, it's not even --

It's just, like, not coming out. Okay.

-Think about what it's for. -Yeah.

-Think about... -Exactly.

...why you're doing it, and it makes it a lot easier.

Okay.

♪ I come from the stars ♪

No. It's...

[ Humming ]

This experience is probably one of the most frustrating for me.

I need this performance to be perfect,

Not only for noelle but for myself, as well.

♪ I am not getting it out ♪

And it's frustrating and giving everyone anxiety.

I'm sorry.tony: that's okay.

No, you're not giving anybody anxiety.

-Do you have a recording of it? -Mm-hmm.

-Maybe if we start with that. -Okay.

I just don't have my phone with me right now.

I'm just, like, not even remembering it right now.

Hold on. I'm -- okay.

I'm gonna just exit for one second

And just, like, take a breather.

I don't know why this is happening.

Ugh! I'm sorry, guys. Today is just, like, not my day.

Oh, my god! What the [bleep]?!

[ Sobs ] ugh.

♪♪

Jazz: [ sobs ] ugh.

I have a lot of faith in us to be able to put it together,

But it's right around the corner.

You know, I'm sure we'll get it. I'm sure we'll get it.

If anybody could pull this off, it's tony,

But there's something that's holding jazz back,

And she's got to pull herself together.

Jazz: ♪ I come from the stars ♪

I'm feeling very overwhelmed and anxious,

So it's just frustrating because I want to overcome this anxiety

And be the best version of me I can possibly be.

I'm back! I'm sorry about that!

-She's back. -Hello!

I really just have to reel myself in and say,

"Okay, I'm gonna get through this. It's gonna be fine."

But it's just very, very challenging.

So, I have the note here.

♪ I come from the stars♪

♪ I'm here to remind you♪

-So, that's how it starts. -Do you want this to sound --

I don't want to say dark, but more emotional?

-Yeah. -Okay.

The theme is kind of like I'm this star being

Who is here to bring love and light

And that we could create that together

Just by allowing ourselves to let the light shine through.

-That's beautiful! -So, yeah.

-I like it. -So, that's what it is.

The song that I wrote is definitely

Not typical for a drag show.

I created something really theatrical,

And I just want to captivate the audience

And kind of put them in a trance.

[ Piano playing ]♪ I come from the stars ♪

♪ I'm here ♪not yet.

-Here. -Tell me when to do it.

One, two. So, I'd be like...

♪ I come from the stars ♪

Two, three, four.

♪ I'm here to remind you ♪

Working with michaela and tony is very intimidating

Because I don't have any formal education

In songwriting or music.

It changes back to a different chord there.

♪ We'll change ♪

Tony and michaela start talking about

What key I'm singing the song in, song structure and tone,

And I just don't know if it's really all coming together.

This is a weird song. It's not a normal song.

You wrote something great.

-Thank you. -You really did.

I'm amazed that you came up with this.

I'm just worried that I'm gonna go out there

On the day of and be nervous and fearful

And reluctant like I have in the past,

And I just want to go out there and be fearless and not care --

And the stars! They shine so bright! Yay!

And I want it to be magical.

-Well, we've got work to do. -We do.

Mm-hmm. Hours to go.

♪♪

-This is it. -You excited?

-Very. -We are going to look at condos.

We've been talking about moving for some time.

Taking the first step is actually the hardest step.

No! That's the easy step.

That's the fun part, the shopping.

I just want to love where we're living.

Otherwise, it's not worth moving.

But I want to be able to see the beach.

Open concept, like they say on tv.

Just open, open.

A pantry I can put things in.i'm really...

If everybody's over for thanksgiving, you know?

Like, I'm thinking about these things.

I think what you need is a bigger house

From what you're talking about.

You can have a three-bedroom condo

That has, like, , square feet.

Do you know how big our house is right now?

We have about , square feet, right?

So you think you're gonna take this much space...

Mm-hmm.

...and you're gonna put it on the oceanfront

And actually think you could afford that?

No, I can't afford it. I didn't say I could afford it.

-Okay. -So just dream a little.

It's my "dream home" for a reason.

-Hi. How are you? -Hello.

-Hey. -Nice to meet you in person.

-Woody. -Hi. Danielle. Hi.

-Nice to see you guys. -How are you?

-Greg. Nice to meet you. -How are you?

Walking into the first condo, my first image is of a wall.

It wasn't the open concept that I had expected.

This unit is a three-three, so kind of sneaky big.

It's got an awful lot packed into the square footage here.

A lot of open windows. Very open light. Yeah.

There are really beautiful views, as you can see.

I love this view. It's like you're outside,

Even though you're inside, so I love that.

I'll tell you a little bit about the kitchen.

It's all top-of-the-line appliances.

What's nice, too, is every room has the electric blinds.

-Ooh! -That's cool.

Danielle: yeah, so it's a nice little added feature.

-These are all... -Everything is new, new, new.

Woody: yeah, never been lived in.

Jeanette: it is so refreshing to see new, everything new.

I'm gonna go ahead and take you guys over to the master bedroom now.

Greg: okay.

Jeanette: I want move-in ready. I don't want a project.

A lot of people like that.

My mother likes that, believe it or not.

Not me.

Greg: wait. So do we have to share this closet?

Is this a his and hers?

-This is a his and hers. -Mm-hmm!

All right. So you would take...

Here are your suits and your shirts. And that's it.

-I get the rest. -Can I get a sock drawer?

Yeah, you can have one drawer for socks.

-Thanks. -Again, it's a lifestyle change.

There's no escaping the fact

That you're gonna have to downsize.

I'm one of those people.

You're gonna have to downsize, honey.

When they say, "throw it away if you haven't worn it in years,"

I do not pay attention to that.

That place was waytoo small.

It's like the type of place that,

In the winter months, you're a snowbird,

And you go down and you have your little condo.

Like, it was about half the size we need. We need double.

I'm excited now to keep looking because when we take that step,

It has to be perfect -- be like, "wow!"

Greg: so, this was a great first condo visit.

I mean, it really gave us an idea

Of what we're looking for, what we're not looking for,

Things to look for in the future.

I'm actually more enthusiastic now

That we've stepped in a place.

I just don't know if the kids will be happy for us.

What I foresee, though, for us is something

A little larger, more square footage.

I really just want more kitchen, also.

-Sure. -I'd also like my own closet.

Understood.

♪♪

♪♪

Jazz: I have been doing a lot of meditation lately

Just to help me,

You know, be more deliberate about what I'm thinking about.

After this songwriting session, I'm questioning why I thought

It would be a good idea to write this song.

My parents have always emphasized the importance

Of following through with commitments and obligations

That you set forth, and far too often,

I have super, super huge ideas, but then when it's time

To actually create them into reality,

I usually fall short.

[ Breathing deeply ]

And I don't want to disappoint anyone.

How's the planning for the drag show coming along?

Jeanette: it's coming along nicely.

My dad is taking this very seriously.

I got to give credit to my dad.

It was only a year ago that he almost d*ed on the table.

He's years old. And now he's gonna be in a drag show?

Do you think he came out of that experience,

Like, a little different, like, kind of like

A yolo experience where...yeah. Yeah.

-Hello! -Hello.

-Hi. -What's up?

How you feeling about the drag show?

I'm not performing the song.

♪♪

Why not?

We didn't really have much time to work on it,

And the show is just so fast-approaching,

And, emotionally, I'm just kind of

All over the place right now with everything going on,

And I really want to keep a level head,

And I think taking one thing off of my list, this song,

Is gonna just really take the load off of me

And make it less stressful.

I mean, I'm still gonna get dressed up in drag

And still be sparkles,

But it's just not gonna be as big of a thing as it was before.

Greg: I'm actually a bit relieved.

During the past few weeks, we've all noticed

That jazz's stress levels have increased.

She is visibly upset, sometimes even crying,

And I know she's been binge eating.

Before you go running off with something, like, stop.

Just stop and think about it because your anxiety

Is probably the most I've ever seen it.

What are you gonna do when you go to school?

I feel like, with harvard, I have a lot of

Mental and physical preparation to do,

And if I don't start really putting in the effort,

Then I'm not gonna make it, so...

If she doesn't think that she can handle living

Outside the home, it's truly upsetting.

It's, like, almost like a cry for help.

But I also think that if she's saying it now,

At least we have an opportunity to work on things.

Well, thank you guys for understanding.

I appreciate it.

♪♪

This was good that she pulled out of this. It wasn't right for her.

She made the right decision.

I'm just concerned about her because I don't think

Her coping mechanisms for anxiety are the greatest.

Taking classes at harvard is hard.

I mean, if you're playing it up like that,

Of course it's gonna affect --

But I'm not saying that to her. She's saying it to me.

You know, you got to turn around and say, "yeah, you can.

You're superintelligent."You think I don't do that?

Well, I don't know.

Jeanette: when jazz is in emotional pain,

Struggling with her anxiety,

Usually we're alone and greg is working,

And I don't think that he appreciates

How bad jazz's coping skills are.

♪♪

Kaci: I'm really surprised at the turnout.

-It's almost : already? -Mm-hmm.

Where did time go?!

Jazz: the show is starting soon,

And I don't feel, like, fully prepared.

Next up in our show is the creator of the event.

Jazz: just got to survive the night.

You came in, like, a rough patch.

I'm pretty much panicking inside, telling myself,

"I got to get through this. I got to get through it."

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪♪

Sander: oh, sh**t. Those are fake eyebrows, aren't they?

-Mm-hmm. -Nice. Wow. I'm pretty.

-[ Laughs ] -sandra bollocks.

-What? That's your name? -Sandra bollocks?

-Sandra bollocks?! -Sandra bollocks.

Jazz: it's the night of the drag show,

And I'm feeling really excited,

Even though my anxiety has been pretty high lately.

I'm just glad that we're finally at this day

And that we're gonna help noelle raise the money,

And, girl, we better reach that goal.

Sander: jazz, how much money are we at -- raised so far?

Jazz: um, I can go check the online fundraiser.

All right. So right now...

We're at $,...yeah!

...of the $, goal.

That's amazing.

So just slightly over halfway there.

-[ Gasps ] -hey!

It's coming together!

-What's up? -This is such a cool place.

I know!

Who are you most excited to see walk?

-For me, personally? Sander. -Mm-hmm.

Yeah. I'm excited to see grandpa jack.

I think a lot of people are excited to see grandpa jack.

But I feel bad that I wasn't able to get a headliner.

Peppermint, she is not available.

Don't worry at all about, like, letting people down

Because, like, no part of this entire night

Is a letdown for me.

Noelle: the road to raising the money for my surgery

Has always been difficult

Just because it's hard personally asking for handouts.

So this entire fundraiser for my surgery

Is so important to me.

Isn't only because it affects my life,

But it affects all the lives of my friends

Who put their effort into it.

I have % faith that we are gonna get to $,.

-Let's manifest that right now. -Palms together.

-Palms together. -Palms together.

Deep breath in. Deep breath out.

-$,. Let's go. -$,.

Really, I'm just trying to send out as many positive vibes

As possible without letting anyone know

Just how scared I am on the inside

That maybe this won't go as well as planned.

I'm not sure I'm feeling these.

Yeah, I don't know if I'm feeling these either.

-Hello! -Hello!

-Hey. -What's up?

So how's everything? You doing good?

Yeah. There's some things I actually want to talk to you about,

But do you want to go out here and check out the stage...

-Yeah. -...and then we can talk?

Jazz: I'm very nervous because I haven't told michaela

That I'm no longer going to be performing the song,

And I feel like after everything that happened in the past,

She's gonna be disappointed in me for kind of backing out.

-Okay. -What's going on?

So...there's something I need to tell you concerning the song.

Mm-hmm.

It was a lot of pressure to write a whole song

And for me to perform that

While also putting this entire show together.

So I'm deciding that, for my mental health,

I'm actually not gonna be performing the song anymore.

I do feel bad.

I feel like I wasted your time and tony's time,

And that's what's really making me feel a little bit upset.

Well, I was taught something called spoon theory,

And what it is, is you get a number of spoons every day,

And you spend them kind of like currency on different things,

So I'm glad that you did what feels comfortable for you.

Jazz: her saying we only have so much energy of ourselves

To give in a day just really resonates with me

Because I'm always doing so many different things,

And I need to learn how to focus on one thing at a time.

You've started on something amazing,

So I hope you don't table it,

But maybe revisit it in the future

When you've got a little more spoons to spend.

When I got a little bit more spoons to spend.

Yeah, right now, I'm out of spoons.

All right. Well, let's go back there

And continue getting ready.let's do it!

♪♪

With the makeup, can you fan it out a little?

-Oh, yeah. -Like, kind of like angle?

Okay. Cool.

Ooh! I love it!

♪♪

-Oh, my god. -Grandma!

-My, oh my. -Oh, lord.

Jeanette: oh, darling!

...cute!

[ Smooching ]

Sweetie. Oh, god. Sander.

Jack: you are beautiful. If you were transgender,

You wouldn't have a problem transitioning.

Sander makes a more attractive woman than I do

When I'm not in drag.

[ Laughs ]that really sucks.

Yeah, I mean, doesn't my grandson make a beautiful woman?

-He does. -She is the one who made it.

It's my handiwork. It's the least I could do.

♪♪

♪♪

Thank you so much.

Kaci: I'm really surprised at the turnout.

The line is wrapped around the building,

And everybody's dying to get in.

Jay: I think it's definitely a possibility

That we could raise all the money tonight.

Thank you. Nice to meet you guys.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

[ Indistinct conversations ]

-It's almost : already? -Mm-hmm.

Where did time go?! I didn't even, like...

I listened to the song that I'm walking to twice.

Jazz: the show is starting soon, and even though

Not performing the song lifted some kind of burden,

I'm still feeling nervous about strutting on the runway

Because I don't feel, like, fully prepared.

I like it like this.

And I'm trying to contain my emotions.

We're just gonna have to tie this.

Ugh. I just got to survive the night.

Today was -- and yesterday and the day before

Have just been rough days.

Well, it's almost over.

You came in, like, a rough patch.

-It's almost over. -Peppermint: oh, honey!

Did somebody order some drag, honey?!

Where's the drag queens?! Oh, hello, gorgeous!

Oh, my god!

My mind is [bleep] blown. Oh, wait. I can't say that.

[ Crew laughing ]

Ohh!

-Oh, my god! You're here! -Honey, honey, honey.

I'm so happy you're here right now

Because I was so worried about not having a headliner.

I don't know how you're here right now. There's like of you.

I took a flight, and I have another flight in about an hour.

-Oh, my goodness. -But I want to do the show.

-I want to do the show. -Thank you so much for coming.

Oh, my god!

[ Laughs ] hello, gorgeous!

Mwah! Hello, gorgeous.

-What is your -- -sandra bollocks.

Sandra bollocks? Do a spin, honey! Do a spin!

Ohh! You got some sass, honey!

And some [bleep].

-Mom! -Aah!

Oh, my god! Look at this lady.

Look at you!

Oh, honey, you're a natural. Look at you.

Jeanette: I can't believe that you came in for this.

It's just wonderful to see her.

We did not expect her to be there, and I love that woman.

She is fantastic.

-Ladies, bring it in. -Hands in.

-Whoo! -Yeah!

"Noelle" on three. One, two, three.

All: noelle!

-Yay! -Whoo!

Emcee: ladies and gentlemen, make some noise for your host,

Miss nicole halliwell!

[ Cheers and applause ]

Ohh. Feels just like the first time.

Lips, how we feeling tonight?

Let me hear you make a big round of applause

For yourselves for being here.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Welcome to jazz's charity fundraiser,

And if you're not aware of why we're --

-Whoa. -Oh. My god.

In case you're not aware of why we're here this evening,

I'm gonna tell you.

Every dollar that you donate,

Every $, $, $, goes towards the cause,

And we're gonna make this happen.

You ready for this?yeah!

Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for tyresha!

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪♪

Greg: this drag show is poppin'.

I mean, the place is packed. The crowd is going nuts.

The energy in the room is amazing.

Halliwell: ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together

For cheesy nudes.

Ari: I'm having a really good time.

People are giving me money.

People are singing with me, dancing with me,

And it's really a good time,

And it kind of ended too soon for me.

Halliwell: don't forget -- if you need to tip the girls

And you can't make it to the stage,

Just look for these gorgeous divas with the buckets.

Ari: I'm so surprised that everybody's getting so many tips.

Like, people are whipping out money

For everybody that comes out.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Halliwell: all right. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a very special guest.

She is a surprise entertainer joining us this evening

All the way from new york city.

Make some noise for the incredible

And gorgeous peppermint!

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪ Say what you have to say ♪

♪ It don't mean nothing, it don't mean nothing ♪

♪ Oh, no ♪

♪ So sick of holding on, and they ♪

♪ Don't show me nothing, show me nothing ♪

♪ Show me nothing ♪

♪ All just the same ♪

Jeanette: peppermint is fantastic.

She is just so upbeat and positive and so talented,

And I'm just really grateful that she made it.

Halliwell: ladies and gentlemen, let's hear it for peppermint!

[ Cheers and applause ]

I heard there was gonna be a fabulous extravaganza show,

And I am here for miss noelle.

[ Cheers and applause ]

I got to tell you,

As a trans woman who's also a queen,

It feels so good to see the community coming together

To support someone in their medical transition.

I wish that I had had something like this

When I was on the same path.

And I'm so happy and so proud to be here for you.

I love you, noelle.

Noelle: I wasn't expecting peppermint to come at all,

But seeing her at the show for me

And for everyone else here, it really shows how committed

She is to helping trans people,

And I consider myself lucky that people actually cared for me

And rallied around me enough to come here.

-Whoo! -Break a leg, honey.

Oh, my god. You k*lled it. All right.

I know you have to run, but...

-I have to run. -Thank you for making it.

Anytime, every time. I'm proud of you.

Thank you so much. Go catch your flight!

-Bye, gorgeous! -I love you so much.

-I love you. -Mwah!

Halliwell: ladies and gentlemen, we have more entertainers,

But I did not expect these two

To show up in the makeup department today.

I thought myhair had a hard-on. Wait till you see this.

Welcome to the stage -- I don't even know how to process this right now.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the stage,

Jackie o's ghost and dr. Jack b. Nimble.

♪ This ain't a party ♪

♪ Won't be one until I get up in the place ♪

♪ People say my name ♪

I thought that sander was gonna drop my jaw.

But grandpa? Hedropped my jaw.

[ Cheers and applause

Halliwell: ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the stage

Jackie o's ghost and dr. Jack b. Nimble.

♪ This ain't a party ♪

♪ Won't be one until I get up in the place ♪

♪ People say my name ♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

Griffen: I can't say that grandpa's the prettiest drag queen.

I won't give him that, but he definitely

Is the best sport out of all of us.

Halliwell: you better hold out that money!

Greg: he looks like a mature raggedy ann.

Halliwell: tip these two divas!

Work the runway!

Jacky: the drag show is one of the highlights

Of our being together for so long.

Jack: how could it not be a great moment

When one sees the crowd reacting to you

And cheering you on and putting dollar bills

And even $ bills down your whatever?

♪ You can't handle this, so don't you even try ♪

Jazz: the whole audience is so incredible.

People are just living.

They are giving them so many tips. They love them.

They are the true stars of the night.

Halliwell: make some noise!

[ Cheers and applause ]

[ Laughs ]

Now, I got to tell you, I have been backstage for hours

Helping to primp and hairstyle and makeup

For the people that are backstage.

Some of them haven't shaved their legs, but it doesn't mean

That the show is not gonna be just as amazing.

Make some noise for the very sassy sandra bollocks.

[ Laughs ]

[ Cheers and applause ]

-Yeah! -Yeah!

[ Cheers and applause ]

I do not hear you out here!

There is no noise! Where are my queens at?!

[ Cheers and applause ]

I would like to dedicate the performance

To the man I once was...

And to the queen I have become.

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪♪

Greg: sander is such a ham.

He's just living it up, playing to the crowd.

♪♪

Griffen: I don't know where you learned that, but you must

Have been practicing all morning or something.

Nope. Didn't practice. It's called being an athlete.

♪ And you wanna party, so where's everybody gonna go? ♪

♪ Gonna hit my spot, and you know everybody's gonna show ♪

Halliwell: I was actually very impressed.

He was a very masculine drag queen,

And he liked to jump around, but overall,

I give him major thumbs-up, major kudos.

Even though he walked like a newborn deer. [ Laughs ]

Your figure looks lovely in that dress.

Make some noise for sandy bollocks one more time.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Ladies and gentlemen, next up in our show

Is the creator of the event this evening,

And she has really something stunning for you.

We have coerced jazz into full drag.

[ Cheers and applause ]

And tonight, she is donning an iconic gown

And the name "sparkles."

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪♪

♪ I have a new thing ♪

♪ Come on and kiss the ring ♪

♪ I'm gonna take my throne, gonna make myself known ♪

♪ If you know what I mean, mm-hmm ♪

Jazz is...slaying? Is that the word?

♪♪

[ Crowd chanting "jazz!" ]

Come on, jazz!

Jazz: as I'm performing,

A bracelet that I had michaela help wrap around my arm

Completely just falls off on both arms.

I'm pretty much panicking inside,

But I can't let the audience know that,

So I'm just telling myself,

"I got to get through this. I got to get through it."

I'm trying to save it all by whipping them around,

But I started hitting people in the face

And just getting more and more in my head.

-Take it! Take it! -Whoo-hoo!

♪ Like you mean it ♪

♪ Like you mean it, oh, like you mean it ♪

♪ Oh, like you mean it ♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪ You got to move it ♪

♪ Like you mean it, like you mean it ♪

♪ Oh, like you mean it ♪

I just had such high hopes and expectations

For it to be perfect really, but it just felt so chaotic.

Halliwell: ladies and gentlemen, make some noise for jazz!

[ Cheers and applause ]

Jazz: oh! Well, that went bad!

Never again. I'm done.

Halliwell: take your seat. I don't want you to get anything

On your nice white clothing, dear.

Jazz: I really don't want to cry because I know

That this is not about me -- this is about noelle.

And yet I'm still feeling defeated

And disappointed with myself.

[ Voice breaking ] I'm done.

[ Breathing sharply ]

[ Exhales slowly ]

♪♪

Next time on "I am jazz"...

Jazz: I'm ready for a change of style

That turns heads and makes everyone go, "wow!"

Sparkles!

That does not exactly fit in harvard yard.

I see a bunch of crosses through your speech.

It's still in the works right now.

Graduation is in three days, and I have the responsibility

Of delivering the valedictory address,

But it's more challenging

Than I previously thought it would be.

She likes things to go exactly perfect,

And when they don't, she seems to break down.

It's definitely a concern whether or not

She'll thrive or fall apart in college.

Jazz: I need to talk to the whole family.

-We don't know what's going on. -You have us all worried.

I've had a lot of anxiety lately.

[Crying] it can just be very crippling at times.

Jack: one of the thoughts on my mind

Is whether jazz has changed her mind about college.

Don't make a decision on the spur of the moment.

[ Crying ]