02x24 - Fire in the Hole

[bunniefuu]

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- (Whistling a cheerful tune) - Hey Duncan,

I couldn't help but notice you're making hot sauce.

Guess who dominated another hot sauce

tasting competition last night?

I'll give you one clue...

- (Sighs) You did.

- CHEF DIIIIIIIID!

You see, when I was just a little Chef,

my sweet mama never let me have anything spicy.

So now I can't get enough!

- Well then, maybe you wanna try my sauce?

It's called...

(Spooky) DUNCAN'S DIABLO!

(Maniacal laugh)

- How'd you do that to your voice?

- It's a spooky setting on the...

KARAOKE MACHINE!

(Maniacal laugh)

- What have I told you about using karaoke machines?

- Only use karaoke for good and never for evil.

- So, you want me to try a hot sauce

made in a toy kitchen, huh?

(Chuckles)

(sarcastic) I sure hope I can handle it.

Wow! Well done, Duncan.

This sauce is very--

(Steam whistle blows) Very... very...

Very-very... very...

(screaming) hottttttttttttt!

(Flames whoosh)

- Whoa! Maybe I should have joined

the hot sauce competition.

- (Gurgles loudly) Uh oh.

Definitely shouldn'a swallowed.

Now it's workin' it's way down toward my--

(Stomach gurgle) (Panicked screaming)

- (Laughs)

- (Panicked screaming)

- IT BURNS!

(Flames whoosh)

Playtime's over, children!

Make for higher ground!

(Panicked screaming)

(Flames whoosh) Ahhhh!

Ahhhh!

(Sizzles)

- Whoa! Cool!

I wonder how far down that's gonna go!

(Rock music plays)

- (Stomach growls) Oh man, I'm hungry!

Grub me, demon dude!

These coals better be hotter than the last batch

or you're gonna get clicky.

- (Gasps)

- (Spits) - Ahh!

- UGH! It's BLAND! BLAND AS FIRE!

How am I supposed to stoke my inferno

with nothing but weak, boring food?

(Click) Click.

(Poof, thud) - UGH!

- (Cackles)

(Splat, sizzles)

(Sniff) Hellllloooo!

(Gulps) (Pants)

(Flame sizzles, stomach snoring)

(Gasps, coughs)

- WOW-WEEE!

(Flames whoosh)

That's hotter than a stick of dynamite

in Grandma's birthday cake!

With a sauce this spicy,

I'd finally have enough power to take over the UNIVERSE!

(Maniacal laugh)

(Coughs, fire whooshes)

Man, I gotta get me that sauce recipe.

- (Beep) (Frantic) Hello? HELLO?

I need another teacher here RIGHT AWAY!

(Burps, fire whooshes)

Oh-oh. I sure hope they heard that

cuz I need medical attention STAT!

(Rumbling)

All: (Gasp)

- Wow! That substitute hotline is efficient!

- But-but Chef--

- Not now, Owen! I'm leaving this nice gentleman...

(Lip pop)

- Oh, Terry Spice, Lord of the Underwor--

- Right. I'm leaving Terry Spice,

Lord of the Underwear, in charge

so I can go see the nice doctor

at the nice hospital

to get some nice reconstructive surgery.

(Stomach gurgles) Oh-oh.

Think this is the big one, kids! See you later--

(Panicked screaming)

- Well, you know what they say:

If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen...

and into the depths of the underworld.

Am I right, kids?

(Crickets chirp)

(Sighs) Tough crowd.

- Are you really our new teacher?

- Sure. Why not.

And the first thing we're gonna do is play a game

called "Gimme the Hot Sauce". NOW!

All: (Gasp)

- Yeah, Chef spilled it

when he was running around crying

and lighting stuff on fire. So I'm all out.

- Dude. Are you serious right now?

Nobody says 'no' to... The Spice!

- Pfft. I'm not afraid of some guy with a dumb shirt

that came out of the floor!

- Hey! My shirt is cool!

- If it's so "cool", then why does it have fire on it?

- OOO! It's mean and it makes sense!

- You wanna Terry-tango, hombre?

Then let's see how you like CLICKY!

- Oh! Oh! Can I push the buttons?!

- Aw! How come Beth gets to push the buttons?!

- No one gets to push the buttons but me!

- What does it do anyway? All: Yeah!

- Oh you'll see... you'll ALL see!

(Maniacal laugh)

(Click, poof)

All: (Gasp)

- Come on, man.

Bringing me to the lamest place in the universe

isn't gonna get you more sauce.

- Wait for it... (Poof)

- What is happening to me?

- Huh... interesting.

You think watching Gwen endure her worst nightmare

will make me cave?

Well, you're gonna have to up your game.

Gwen. Is. A. Rock.

- Ahhh! Too much affection.

Make it stop! Make it stop!

- There's more where that came from.

(Maniacal laugh)

(Click, poof)

(Cookies thud)

- (Gasps) COOOKKKIIIEEEEEES!

(Laughs)

- A cookie factory? Really?

- Nice try, dude, but Owen loves cookies.

- We'll see.

- (Chomp, spits) BLECH!

Oatmeal Raisin?

But that's the worst kind.

(Chomp, spits)

Wait... they're ALL oatmeal raisin?

But why?

What kind of maniac would do this?

(Crying)

- Diabolical.

- Booyah! Spiced! (Maniacal laugh)

(Click, poof)

- Thaaaat's right. Work your magic, Gigi.

(Gasps) You gave me..."the Cody"?

(Screams)

(Click, poof)

- (Sniffs) Hmm.

Time for some excavation.

(Poof) Huh? No nose?

What am I supposed to do with my fingers now?

(Screams) (Maniacal laugh)

(Click, poof)

Well? How do you like seeing your friends tremble in fear

at their very own worst nightmares.

(Snickering)

Wait are you... are you laughing?

- No, it's totally working. Honest.

I'm gonna cr*ck any minute.

(Laughing)

- (Growls) ENOUGH!

You WILL give me that hot sauce

to nourish the flames of my hatred.

Then I can finally harness the power

to destroy the UNIVERSE!

(Lightning strikes) - Hold on...

did you say you wanna destroy the universe?

(Snaps fingers)

- Yeahhhhh? - ME TOO!

Maybe you're not such a lame dude after all!

(Rock music sting)

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(Splash)

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(Sizzles)

(cr*ck)

(expl*si*n)

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(Angry chittering)

(Engine roars)

(Smashing clangs)

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- (Sighs) You know, Terry Spice...

you really get me. - I know! It's...

it's like we're soul mates!

Except like with condemned souls of course.

- Oh, Sure. I knew what you meant.

Well, it was cool doing all that demented stuff with you.

But we should probably get to making that hot sauce now.

- Aw. But we're having so much fun!

Don't worry, there'll be plenty of time for fun

after the world is turned

into a fiery nightmare of despair...

best friend.

- Eeeeeeeee! (Chuckles)

(Bubbling)

(Sniffs)

Mmm! Ready!

Then sauce it to me, baby!

(Slurps, swishes around)

(Alarms blares)

(Laughs)

Woo-hoo! I'm surfin' a flava wave!

Duncan, Duncan, check it out! Duncan?

Huh? Hey, what's going on?

- Nothing, just checkin' this baby out!

- (Nervous laugh) Yeah.

Thanks for keeping ol' clicky safe, pal, but...

you can give it back now.

- Oh, right. Sure.

Orrrrr... (Click, poof)

- What are you doing, bro? We're soulmates!

- Sorry dude, but the only one who gets to put my friends

through a living nightmare is me.

- You mess with the hair. You get cut!

- As if! You can't deal with the spieeeeeeeece--

(Click, poof)

- Maybe not, but I can!

- Aw, that's nice of you for saving us!

- What?! No it wasn't!

It was a cool double-cross.

You guys just got lucky. Terry on the other hand...

- (Gulp) Blech!

Please, Chef's Mom!

I need some spice!

Even a little salt! - Salt?! HA!

That's for teenagers and jazz singers.

Now open wide! Here comes the airplane!

- (Gasps) NO! So bland, it's so bland!

Noooo! Noooo! NOOOO!

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