03x01 - Gumbearable

[bunniefuu]

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Beth: Hurry up, Duncan! Duncan: Pipe down!

- Beth, you're chewing too loud.

Someon is gonna hear us.

- Whatch'ou guys doing? All: AHH!

- Kissing! - Eating bugs!

Both: EWWWW!

- Definitely not chewing gum. That ain't happening.

Nuh-UH. Nope'rz. GUM! What gum?

How dare you! GAHHH!

I can't stop my mouth from talking!

- (Sigh) Fine. We'll give you some gum,

but you gotta keep it quiet. Here.

- (reads) "Big Chomp Chew?"

The most genetically enhanced gum in the universe?

I've never tried this kind before.

(Shyly) Or any other gum.

All: You never chewed gum?!

- But I totally know how it works!

- Are you suuuure?

- Yes. I swear!

I've seen all the gum commercials on TV.

I never skip the commercials.

- I sure hope you don't!

Advertising is what pays for television production.

- Aaaaanyway... the gum goes in your mouth.

You chew it... and swallow

(Buzzer sounds) - Wrong.

Gum's for chewing, not swallowing.

- But swallowing is the best part of eating things.

That's how you know you did it right!

- You need to trust us on this one.

Chew it. Jussst chew it.

- (Chomps)

Whooooooaaaaaaaa...

(Giggling)

- Welcome, Owen.

You'll be chipper that you chose to chew!

I am your strawberry gum guide, Chakai.

Come!

♪ Chewwww, chewww, chewww ♪

♪ Chew-ewwwww-yaewww-eww ♪

♪ Chew, chew, chew, chew ♪

♪ Chew-ewwwww-yaewww-eww ♪

(Splash)

- (Giggle) This is sweet!

- Haha! Yes, gum is sweet!

(Blows) WooHOOOOOOOOO!

- Tell me how you feel, Owen!

Shout it out for the world to hear!

- I... LOVE...

GUUUUUUM!

Gum's the best.

It's sweet, squishy, chewy,

and I rode a banana!

(Loud smacking)

- Um, what're you doing?

- I'm trying to see if I look cool chewing.

Do I?

Do I look cool?

(Loud smacking, grunting)

(Splashing)

- Eeesh.

- I know! I'm gonna go watch myself chew

in the bathroom mirror. - Whoa, newb.

Walking and chewing gum at the same time is not easy!

- Yeah. What makes you think you've got those kinda skills!

- Well, I once ate a bowl of chicken noodle soup

while riding a horse.

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Announcer: It's another close race today

as Almost-Unicorn and Hot Fudge Monday

sprint to the finish line.

But coming up from the rear is Hot Chicken Soup Boy!

- Hot! Ouch! So hot!

Announcer: I can't believe it, he's taking the lead!

At the finish line is Hot Chicken Soup Boy,

for the win!

- I won free glue for a whole year!

Anyway, I think I can handle it.

- Meh. Let him face plant.

It's the only way he'll learn.

Go for it.

(Chewing sounds)

- He's doing it. - Whoa.

- Impossible.

- See? No proble-OOOFFF!

- There it is. - Told ya!

- I feel better. - (Groans)

- Normally I keep my Show and Tell pets in my lunchbox,

but the camel spider is so big it needs a shoebox.

- C-c-camel spider?

Why's it called that?

- That's a funny story, actually.

- (Camel groans) (Approaching steps)

- (Hisses) - (Screaming)

- (Chuckling lightly)

Maybe you had to be there. So, you wanna see him?

Empty? Huh. Where's my spider?

(Owen screaming)

(Crashing, smashing, flushing)

- Oh. That's probably him.

- Gah! AHHH! Help!

The spider was on the toilet!

Like, it was using it!

Then it flushed!

And it washed its hands!

- Owen! You know the rules!

No running with spiders on your face!

(Screaming to slow screaming)

- Okay... that's better.

- This is honestly the best thing I've ever seen.

- Wah-ah-ah-ah-OOF! (Groans)

- Way to scare my spider, Owen.

Ugh, where'd he go?

Lestat? Lestat?

- You okay, Owen? - I think so.

(Tries chewing)

(GASP) My gum!

(Muffled) I can't find it!

- What?

- I can't find it!

Aw. It was fun while it lasted...

but I guess I swallowed it.

(All gasp)

- What? Is that bad?

All: YES!

- Why? What happens if you swallow gum?

- Cody! Lights!

(Light clicks off)

I'll tell you what happens when you swallow gum.

- (Gulps) (Stomach growls) (Farts)

- It just sits in your tummy... until you pass gas.

It creates a bubble that grows so big

you get trapped inside of it.

- Help! It really smells in here!

- And you live forever in your own fart balloon

that gets collected by Gaston De Derier,

the French Clown.

- NOT FRENCH!!

- Don't worry, Owen, she's wrong.

- (Sighs) Whew.

- I'll tell you what happens when you swallow gum.

CODY! (Light clicks off)

The gum you swallowed grows and grows inside your belly.

(Running footsteps thud, gurney rattles)

(Light clicks on, glove snaps)

Then you give birth to a gum baby.

(Baby coos)

The baby grows up and uses all of your money

to go to gum college...

and never calls anymore. (Door slams)

- (Sad groan)

- But when your gum baby graduates,

it can't find a job.

So it moves back home and eats pizza in your basement

until you snap and scream...

"Get a job and either move out or start paying rent!"

- Oh no! Where did I go wrong with my gum baby?!

- Beth and Leshawna are both wrong.

I'll tell you what really happens when you swallow gum.

- Oohh, this is gonna be gooooood.

(Light clicks off)

- When you swallow gum,

it travels through your body, taking over all your cells,

turning you into a... (poof)

giant piece of gum.

With every breath you expand,

bigger and bigger until you POP.

And anyone who gets gum on them when you explode

suffers the same fate.

- Great job, Owen! Now we're all goners.

- But I didn't know that when I started chewing!

This is so unfair!

- No one ever said gum was fair.

- I think I'm starting to change.

Is it happening to me right now?!

- The early signs are nervous sweats,

excessive nail biting, and farting.

- Oh no! I've got TWO of those!

(LOUD FART) Make that three!

What do I do, Gwen?!

- It's too late to save yourself,

but to keep others safe,

you've just got to jump to the bottom

of the Great Gum Volcano.

How come we never noticed that before?

- (Gulps)

I really feel like gum should have a warning on the label

or something.

I mean, these are serious consequences!

Ugh. I wish I never tried gum in the first place!

(Wailing)

Actually, can I get a piece for the road?

Leshawna and Beth: OWEN! - (Wailing)

- Where's Owen going?

He swallowed gum so we told him he had to jump

into the Great Gum Volcano to protect the rest of us.

- You told him to what?!

I am... so proud of you.

Yessiree,

that's what we do with kids who swallow gum.

Who wants pudding? (All cheer)

- (Sighs) I just can't finish this th pudding

knowing Owen's turning into gum and is gonna 'splode.

- What? Owen would have wanted us to eat this pudding.

(Loud smacking)

- He, guys, I found gum! FREE GUM!

And someone even chewed it for me!

- (Gasps) Owen didn't swallow his gum!

- Agh!

- It must've fallen out of his mouth

and stuck to his bear!

- He's jumping in a volcano for nothing?!

Hilarious. (Slurping)

- We have to stop him! C'mon!

- (Scared gulp)

(Bubbling)

- Swallowed your gum, huh? - Join us!

- Hot hot hot! - Hurry!

(Pops)

- I don't feel like I'm turning to gum.

NO, Owen! That's the gum talking.

- Oh sure blame me!

- There's only one way to keep my friends safe,

so here goes.

- Owen! - Wait!

- You didn't swallow your gum.

- It fell out of your mouth while you were screaming

like a coward about Gwen's spider!

- And it stuck to Beary!

- (Gasp) So I'm not gonna turn into a giant gum bubble

and explode?

Woohoo! Yippee! Yahoo!

(Rock rumbles)

Whoawhoawhoah! - Grab him!

(Splash) - Oh no!

- No is right. - Yeah, way to go!

(High-pitched) - Thanks, Duncan.

- Little help here! - Oh right!

Owen: ...and I was a goner for sure.

- But Duncan saved him!

- Yep, Duncan is sweeter than pudding!

(Squirts)

- Sometimes I hate how awesome I am.

- Well, I'm glad it all worked out.

Hey, where'd you get that bump on your arm, Owen?

- Oh. I think Gwen's spider bit me.

All: (GASP)

(Hisses)

- Why're you gasping? Is that bad?

What happens when a spider bites you?

(Light clicks off)

- I'll tell you what happens when a spider bites you.

Beth: Uh oh, here we go again!

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