03x05 - MacArthur Park

[bunniefuu]

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(Siren blaring) - What is that?!

The fire alarm?!

- No! The fire alarm is more of a bee-bee-bee-bee-bee-bee!

- Wrong! A fire alarm goes...

Woooooot! Woooooot! Woooooot! Woooooot!

- I think it's more like

(Pop-goes-the-weasel type rhythm)

- Bee-bee-bee-bee... - woooooot! weeeeeeeeee!

- It doesn't matter what the alarm's for!

We all need to... panic!

(Screaming)

Courtney: Stop!

The protocol is that we exit the building

in an orderly fashion.

- The annoying girl is right! Everybody out--

- But Chef, I have to potty.

- Go ahead, Cody. You'd just slow us down anyway.

Everybody else, Run for your lives!

(Screaming)

- You're running the wrong way!

All: (Screaming)

♪ That's the way the money goes ♪

♪ Poop, goes the weasel ♪

(Screaming) - OOF! Huh?

Huh? (Struggles) I'm stuck!

- The grass... has glue on it?

- And the siren stopped. What's going on?

(Loud rumbling) - (Gasp!)

- I'll tell you what's going on!

You ran right into my trap!

(Blares) And now, I will finally have...

my Revenge!

(Maniacal long laugh)

(He hears the laugh) - Aww.

I'm missing all the funny.

C'mon, poops. Hurry up! - (Clucks)

- (Chuckles, happy sigh)

You have no idea how long I've looked forward to this!

- And you arrrrre...?

- No. Way. No, no, no, no.

You guys have ruined my life more times than I can count,

and you don't even remember me?!

(Furious groan)

(Exhale) Well, let me remind you!

- Careful! Someone put glue on the grass!

(Struggles to get out)

- That was me! - But why?

We don't even know you!

- (Frustrated scream)

(Loud clang)

(Boots whooshing)

You do know me!

I bought hover boots

so I wouldn't get caught in my own glue trap.

(Beeping, whooshing)

(Beeping, sputtering)

Whoa! Whoa!

Ahhh! How do I--

(Zapping) Oh come on!

AHhhhh! Whoaaaaa!

- Uh Chef, is this gonna be the whole episode?

McArthur: No!

- (Shrugs) I'unno. (Loud clank)

(Boot whoosh) - Phew. Okay.

Now... the reason I'm here is that you

have all gotten me fired from every job I've had.

So I'm going to destroy your lives

by smashing your school!

All: (Gasp) - Excuse me.

Certainly you don't mean we're all part of this.

Because I've never been a troublemaker.

- Ha! Not a troublemaker, huh?

Does the phrase, "sprinkle of nuts" ring a bell?

Welcome to six ways to sundae. What can I get for ya?

- I'll have a sundae with chocolate chips,

strawberries, coconut, hot fudge, cookie dough,

whipped cream, brownie chunks, toffee bits

and topped with a sprinkle of nuts.

- Comin' right up!

♪ We're six ways to sundae ♪

♪ And we've got ice cream down ♪

♪ A million different toppings ♪

♪ We make the best in town! ♪

Enjoy!

- Um, that's more like a scattering of nuts,

it's not a sprinkle.

- Ohhh-kay. Heh.

Well, customer's always right.

I will make you a new one.

♪ We're six ways to sundae ♪

♪ And we've got ice cream down ♪

♪ A million different toppings ♪

♪ We make the best in town! ♪

Et voilà!

- Okay, that was clearly a 'toss' of nuts.

Are you making a sundae or feeding squirrels in a park?

- Are you seriou-- yep, I'll try again.

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(Taunting ghost voice) Sprinkle!

Nuuuuutss...

(Heavenly choir sings)

It's perfect! - (Sighs)

- But you didn't serve it with the sundae song,

which is store policy.

(Building scream)

- You didn't sing the song?!

You'rrrrrre firrrrrrred!

(Weeping) - Remember me now,

Little Miss not-a-trouble-maker?!

- Courtney! Apologize to the weird stranger.

- (Sigh) I'm sorry...

- Thank you. That's all I've ever wanted.

- sorry you took a job sprinkling nuts

before going to nut sprinkling school,

and learning how to sprinkle nuts!

- That's not an apology!

- It wasn't supposed to be!

- Why you little! (Boots whoosh)

Ahhhh! AHhhhhh!

(Landing thud) Oof!

- I think this lady is a sprinkling of nuts.

- And you! - Hello.

- You should remember me from the beach.

Nothin' beats a day on the sand

and saving lives.

(Splashing)

Oh no! (Blows whistle)

Hey kid! Get out of the water!

Swim for your life!

- What!? - (Grunts)

Oh this? A dorsal fin makes my cat swim faster.

(Grunts, sigh of relief)

What in the world is--(Gasps)

(Blows whistle) Kid! Get outta there!

Sea... monster??

- Oh this? Got it in Scotland.

Barely fit on the plane! Heh heh.

- Grrr!

(Angry grunt)

- (Crying)

(Engine roars) - A tiger on a jetski?!

(Gasp) Everybod-- He he he.

Nice try little girl.

I'm not falling for another fake emergency.

- I dunno. Looks pretty real to me.

(Tiger snarling)

- No no no no no... (Kid giggles)

- You're... fired. Agh...

- Hey, you got fired cuz you were a bad lifeguard!

I mean, you didn't even tell that tiger

to stay out of the water for an hour after he ate!

Argh! Okay! Now you're gonna get it!

(Boots beep, whoosh) Waaaaa! Ahhh!

(Landing clank) (Grunting)

- Enough!

If you've got a problem with these kids,

then you can just... let me go, right?

- Ha! You were the worst one of all!

Woman: We'll take it! Oh, just one last thing...

how are the neighbours?

- The neighbours?

Oh, they'rrrre...

(Playing the tuba)

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(Door slams, tires screech)

(Angry groan)

Sign on the dotted line, and the house is yours.

- And a one! And a two! And a one, two, three!

(Playing the tuba)

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So peaceful around here, right?

(Mic feedback) Oh no...

(Loud lick)

(Inhales) (Fireworks pop)

(Thunderous tuba solo)

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(Windows shatter) (Phone rings)

Hello?

Man: You're fired!

- You shoulda just sold that house to someone

who loves tuba music!

I'm sure they exist... somewhere...

- They don't.

Aaaaaaahhhh!

- I am really enjoying this day!

You've all gotten me fired from so many jobs!

Hotdog vendor. Juice barista. Courier. Dental hygienist.

Ghost Hunter. Zookeeper. Massage Therapist. Magician.

Dog catcher. m*llitary sergeant. And my favourite...

toilet security system technician.

- Sounds like you've been bad at a lot of professions.

- (Frustrated roar) That is it!

(Boots whoosh) Whoa! Oof!

(Woozy groan)

Grrrr! Bye bye school!

(Lever cranks, engine roars)

- Argghhhh!

- (Gasp)

- (Maniacal laugh)

All: Nooooooooo!

- My lunch is in there!

- (Maniacal laugh)

- Macarthur? - Huh? You, you know who I am?

(Ball clanks)

- Of course! I love it when you come to visit!

You're here all the time

and do so many different jobs for us!

You're the best! - Really?

- Uhh-huh! You're my favourite secondary character

on the show.

- Uh. What's going on right now?

- Apparently we don't care about the fourth wall

at all anymore.

- And that's why if made you this card,

cause I think you're the star!

Sorry, but I ate some of macaroni off it.

I got hungry on the toilet.

(Emotional) - Wow. This is...

I mean it's so...

You know what?

Maybe you guys aren't so bad after all.

I guess if can let you off with a warning this time.

All: Phewwww...

- Let me get the glue dissolver and I'll set you all free.

- Look a game controller! I love games!

- No. No. No. No!

Wooooaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!

Ahhhh! Oof!

Well, this is not good...

(Lever cranks) (Loud thud)

- (Cough) Ugggh!

- Hey, you demolished that building in one swing!

You're hired!

Come on, we got work to do.

(Engine roars) Wooooo-hoooooooo!

- Who was that lady, Chef?

- I guess we'll never know, Owen.

I guess we'll never know.

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