03x47 - Total Trauma Rama

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Total DramaRama". Aired: September 1, 2018 –
April 15, 2023
Watch/Buy Amazon  Merchandise

Series re-introduces some of the original "Total Drama" characters in an alternate universe where they are aged down from teenagers to toddlers, being taken care of by Chef Hatchet.
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03x47 - Total Trauma Rama

Post by bunniefuu »

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

♪ La la la ♪ Chef: Kids!!!

It's story time! All: YAY! Woo-hoo!

- Every story teaches a lesson.

And since Cody failed to make it to the bathroom

three times this week... - And it's only Tuesday.

- Today we'll be reading...

"Tommy Turtle Takes a Tinkle".

- NOT THAT BOOK! NO! - Ahh!

- NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!

- Uh... any issues you wanna talk about, Harold?

- Oh, um...

well, I've never told anyone this,

but the thing is... I'm terrified of turtles.

- Turtles? Or tortoises?

- Courtney! Time out table. MOVE IT!

- But... (Defeated sighs)

- Yeah, you know what you did.

Now, Harold, I'd love to take your word for it,

but do you honestly expect me to believe

you're afraid of this? - (Shriek)

- Hmmm...

- (Shrieks repeatedly)

- Well, guess he is afraid of turtles...

or phones...

- What's so scary about turtles?

- T-T-Those shells.

What are they hiding in there?

And-and their mouths are Like pinchy little bottle openers.

- OOGAH-BOOGAH-WOOGAH!

It's turtles.

Harold's afraid of turtles. - Dude? I'm proud of you.

Admitting to a fear isn't easy.

But now that we all know,

we can take your bad turtle vibes into consideration.

- We sure can.

Duncan: (Happy whistling) (Truck rumbles up)

(Break squeak, package thuds lightly)

Hewwo, baby tutols.

Are we weady to pway with Hawold?

Yes you are. You are.

(Cackles)

Yeaaah.

♪♪♪

- (Screaming)

♪♪♪

(Screams)

♪♪♪

(Screams)

(Heavy panting)

(Chirping)

(Screams)

(Screams)

(Screams)

- (Laughing)

Harold's a mess!

Hehehahaha.

Now it's time to make... him... snap!

(Cackles)

- Duuude, this is so wrong.

- Well, then I don't wanna be right.

- Duncan, no one loves seeing Harold get hurt more than I do,

but you've put him through enough.

- Hey! We each have our own skillset;

Do I tell you how deep your fingers should go

into your nostrils? NO.

Do I tell Jude how long the word "duuude" should be?

NO. So don't tell me how to be a jerk.

- That's a fair point.

- Plus I already filled the slide with turtles,

so it's too late to turn back.

- Ninja slide tiiiiime!

TURTLE! AHH! ANOTHER TURTLE!

WHY ARE THERE SO MANY TURTLES!?

AHHHHHHHH!!!!

SAFE PLACE! SAFE PLACE!

- Turtle noise!

- Huh. I should be terrified, but I'm not.

It's almost like my fear of turtles is... gone.

- What?! NO.

Turtle noise! Turtle noise!

SPOOOOKY!

- These guys are kinda cute.

- Whoooaaa. You cured Harold!

- Ugh! I rented this costume for a full week!

- You should be way happier, bro.

Whatcha did for Harold was super sweet.

- I wasn't aiming for sweet, Jude.

I wanted to make him fill his pants With poop!

- Well, you filled my heart with the warm n'fuzzies.

- That's gross! - You have a true gift.

I bet you could help everyone in class

get over their fears. - What's that?

- A list of each of our friends' greatest fears.

Being in a constant state of Chillosity,

I can sense the stress of others.

Sooo I made a list of the unique fears

of every kid in class

to be sure I avoid triggering them.

- Mu-mu-maybe I should help others.

You know, with my... "gift".

- Well, then here y'go, buddy.

I know you'll do good work.

- I will, Jude. I really will.

- C'mon, Courtney, stay inside the lines.

INSIDE THE LINES.

Why would anyone manufacture markers

shaped like rockets?

- Hehehe, yeah, "shaped like" rockets.

(Beeps) Launch!

(Poof)

- (Whooshes) Whoa!

AAAAAAAAH! I'M OUTSIDE THE LINES!

I'M OUTSIDE THE LIIINES!

- (Gasps) Courtney! STOP THAT!

(Whooshes by)

- I CAAAN'T! HEEEEEEELP! á

- Courtney this isn't like you!

(Rocket whooshing)

Still going, huh?!

(Rocket whooshing)

Well, this is very upsetting!

(Rocket sputters)

- Aw man. Out of fuel already?

(Whooshing)

- You just earned yourself another time out.

What do you have to say For yourself, young lady?!

- I say, after all of that...

colouring a little outside the lines

will never bother me again.

- WHAT?! Are you kidding me?!

Well, that didn't go as planned,

but Courtney's always been annoying!

I'll move onto a sure thing. (Snaps his fingers)

- Woohoohoohoo, slide time!

Oops, sorry. You go first Jude.

♪♪♪

And after you.

After you. No, please, after you.

You go first.

- You always let others go first.

You're so nice. - I guess I am!

- And you never want to see any of your friends get hurt.

- That is my greatest fear.

- Yes, I recently read that.

Which is why I'm surprised you just sent them all

into that tube of horror.

- Tube of horror--

AHHHHHH!!!

(Screams of pain, saw blades whir)

(Pained grunts)

- Guys! Are you okay?!

(Woozy moans and groans) - I think so.

- I'm so sorry!

This is the worst thing that's ever happened to me!

- YES! That's right!

You are the victim and it's horrible!

- Although...

- Stop talking. No "although".

This is alllll bad! Very, VERY bad!

- But if my friends could survive that,

then they can survive anything.

I'm gonna be less scared from now on.

- WAIT!!!... UGH! - (Owen sings to himself)

Cody: Heeeeelp!

Somebody helllllp!

Swinging is scary!

- I shouldn't even bother.

(Sighs) Here comes the terror...

(Swing squeak)

- Swinging is fun now! Thank you, Duncan!

- Whatever.

- (Sad moan) - Dude, you should be happy.

- Ugh, are you about to say

"every Cloud has a silver lining".

Cause, ya know, barf.

- No, bro, this scenario's so positive

there are no clouds.

You do amazing work.

You're like a fear toilet

that sucks away everything scary,

leaving behind nothing but pure joy.

- Are you calling me... a joy toilet?

(Sighs)

I need to rethink my life.

What happened, Duncan?!

You used to scare people!

What have you become?

(Gasps)

- Hello, Duncan! This is the new you!

Kindness is its own reward.

- Whu?! No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no! á

- It's SNOT me it's you....

- (Yelps)

- Dude, somethin' about vibes or niceness or somethin'.

- Stop! STOP!

I can't take it any more!

Me being nice is terrifying!

Wait. Me being nice... is terrifying.

(Cackles)

(Villain sting)

- C'mon kids, playtime's over. Let's go. Chop, chop.

All: (GASP!)

♪♪♪

- Uh, I don't remember the network asking

for a Valentine's Day episode.

- This isn't for Valentine's.

It's Duncan Loves You Day.

- Something is... weird.

- Since when is love weird?

- GAH! Why're you smiling like that?!

Courtney, make him stop!

- I'm not going anywhere near that!

You're the teacher, deal with it.

Chef: I-I CAN'T! I CAN'T DEAL WITH IT!

Run! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!

(Engine starts, tire squeal)

♪♪♪

- I don't know why, but your smile makes me need to pee.

- Duncan, whatever you're going to do...

just don't.

- So... none of you want presents?

Here, Harold. Open it.

- Oh. A turtle.

I like these now. - I know.

And this one is extra special.

I got it just for you.

- Whu-Whu-what makes it special?

What did you do?! Get it away from me!

Nooo!

- And here's a new colouring book.

Feel free to colour outside the lines.

- Why, what will happen if I do?!

TELL ME!! TELL ME!!

AAAAAHH!!

- For me? (GASP)

This present is bottomless!

- Like our friendship.

- (Screams)

- Guess it's indoor play time.

Just look at all these toys.

I'll let you guys have first pick.

- Dudes. I never thought nice Duncan,

would be the worst Duncan of all!

- Let's hug.

All: (Scream)

(Glass shatters) - Run! Run! Ahhh!

- Kindness really is it's own reward.

♪ La la la la la ♪

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