[gentle music]
[dramatic orchestral music]
[dramatic orchestral music]
[upbeat orchestral music]
[swords whacking]
- Break.
Sir Bernard.
I'm puzzled, Sir Bernard.
Is that sword made of lead?
- No, it's a wooden practice sword.
- Is it too heavy for you?
- No.
- Then why don't you
swing it occasionally?
Haven't you learned anything
from the instructions I've given you?
- Well, you said to defend
myself at all times.
I was defending myself.
- Yes, but just defending
yourself won't win any battles.
You've got to att*ck, bore in.
Understand?
- I think so.
- All right then, let me
see a snarl on your face.
Snarl!
Now, att*ck!
[swords clanking]
[men groaning]
Sir Lancelot, I'm about ready to give up.
That boy's an absolute mystery to me.
- Who? What boy?
- Sir Bernard.
[sword clanking]
He's big, he's strong, he's quick.
He has all the physical
qualities of a first class
fighting man, except
the fighting instinct.
[sword clanging]
[Sir Bernard groaning]
- Who is he, Lancelot?
- Well, he came to Camelot a few days ago.
He said his lady love was imprisoned
in her own castle and
he has to rescue her.
- But why did he come to Camelot?
- Well, he wanted expert training.
He told me he had only one week in which
to master the art of swordsmanship.
- Well the lady, whoever she is,
had better get someone
else to champion her.
She'll rot in captivity before
that coward rescues her.
- Sir Bernard's young.
Perhaps all he needs is confidence.
- Nah.
- Give him another chance tomorrow, Hugh.
In the meantime, how about
matching strokes with me?
I need some exercise.
- Ah, we'll use wooden practice swords
if you don't mind, Sir Lancelot.
I'm not as young as I used to be.
- Just as you wish, Hugh.
- Sir Bernard.
Disgrace to knighthood, wretched coward.
Look at him.
I have a good mind to challenge
him myself personally.
Give him a thrashing and send
him back from whence he came.
- Now, now, now, don't
let your indignation
make you reckless, Sir Kay.
Remember what Master Hugh said.
That knight is big, he's
strong, and he's quick.
- Is it your point that I might
lose to that cowardly dog?
I who fought at the Battle of Mount Ayr,
the Battle of Chichester, the Battle of-
- Yes, yes, yes.
But those battles were years ago.
I noticed you haven't given your right arm
much practice lately,
except at the dinner table.
- I will have you know, Merlin,
that I'm still in the prime of manhood.
I could batter that boy
to the dust in 60 seconds.
It would take a magician to
give him any chance against me.
And I mean a real magician.
Not an old humbug like you.
- Sir Kay, would you care
to risk 20 crowns of gold
on the outcome of a fight
between yourself and Sir Bernard?
- [laughs] Gladly.
- Then it's a wager.
A fight shall take place here
in the yard an hour before sundown.
- You are too confident
of your powers, Merlin.
You can't change a lamb into a lion.
- But I can try.
[slow music]
[gloves whacking]
- Coward!
[dramatic orchestral music]
[slow music]
- One of the page boys
said you wanted to see me.
- Ah, come in, Sir Bernard.
I want to discuss with you
the subject of courage.
You may have heard I am
reputed to be a wise man.
- Yes, I've heard.
You're a magician, too.
- Thank you, my boy.
You came to Camelot
hoping to be made a
first class fighting man.
Your purpose, to rescue the lady you love.
That in itself proves
that you have courage.
- Yet when I take a sword in my hand,
all courage evaporates.
- I know.
Your heart pumps, your limbs grow heavy,
your brow and body damp and cold.
- That's right.
- Well, don't you know
that all these things
happen to men on the eve of battle?
- Why do you measure
that sword so carefully?
- This is Sir Lancelot's sword.
By measuring it, studying its designs,
by testing it with chemicals,
I hope one day to discover
the secret of its magical powers.
- Magical powers?
- Surely you've heard of
Sir Lancelot's prowess.
- Well, I've heard he's the most
formidable knight in all Britain.
- Of course.
And who wouldn't be with a magic sword?
- A magic sword. [laughs]
I find it hard to believe.
- Don't you know why he's
called Sir Lancelot of the Lake?
- No.
- Ah.
Well one day having lost
his sword in battle,
Sir Lancelot rode until
evening, til he came to the edge
of a mysterious mist-shrouded lake.
[slow music]
When suddenly, the waters in
the middle of the lake parted.
And there appeared the arm of a damsel
holding aloft a sword.
The arm was that of the Lady of the Lake
who lived in a palace
of incomparable beauty
below the surface of the water.
Sir Lancelot found a barge
and rode out into the middle of the lake,
where upon the lady floated to the surface
and revealed a face of wondrous beauty.
"Take this sword," said
the Lady of the Lake.
"For its magic will enable
you to win 1,000 battles.
And while you wear the scabbard
you will never receive a mortal wound."
- So that's why Lancelot is so valiant?
- Exactly.
- I still find it hard to believe.
- Then I will offer you proof.
You are fighting Sir Kay this afternoon.
- I suppose I'll have to.
He challenged me.
- Then I lend you the magic sword
just for your engagement with Sir Kay.
That will prove to yourself
that I speak the truth.
- You're sure I'll win?
- With that sword, you will batter Sir Kay
to the dust in 60 seconds.
- Merlin, I don't know how to thank you.
- Come and see me after your victory,
and we will conclude our discussion
on the subject of courage.
And keep this a secret.
[Sir Bernard laughs]
- [laughs] Merlin, you
devious old charlatan.
Just what are you up to with this boy?
- Nothing.
Just a little experiment in sorcery.
I'm trying to turn a lamb into a lion.
- And what's all this
nonsense about a magic sword?
- Oh, there's nothing
wrong with the lad at all.
It's just his lack of
confidence in himself.
But what could give a man more confidence
than a magic sword?
- Magic sword.
Master Mark the armorer
made that sword for me.
Oh, it's well designed
and beautifully balanced,
but it's no more magical
than that stuffed raven.
And well you know it.
- That's exactly what we'll tell the lad,
after he's knocked the wind
out of that pompous idiot, Sir Kay.
Thus subtly, we'll transfer
his confidence in the sword
to confidence in himself.
I'll make a knight out of
that boy, mark my words.
And I have a little wager with Sir Kay,
just to add a little
spice to my amusement.
- [laughs] Merlin, you're incorrigible.
[dramatic orchestral music]
- Sir Kay, you had no right
to challenge that boy.
He's no match for you.
- I shan't be too hard on him.
Just teach him a lesson
and send him home to his mother.
- All right.
The first man that drives the
opponent into the tape wins.
At the signal, start fighting.
Ready.
[dramatic orchestral music continues]
[swords clanking]
[upbeat orchestral music]
- It works.
- Squire, squire.
- Ah, Master Brian.
Had a bit of luck, eh?
- Lucky sh*t.
I'd have bagged another,
only the wind was against me.
See you later.
[Sir Kay groaning]
- He's not wounded in the chest.
I think it's his arm or shoulder.
- Ah, he's not wounded at
all, except in the purse.
[Lancelot chuckles]
That'll teach Sir Kay to call me a humbug.
Worked beautifully, didn't it?
- It's remarkable magic.
Well, you better find Sir
Bernard immediately and explain.
This could be dangerous.
- Sir Lancelot?
- Yes.
- Did you lend your sword to anyone?
- No, but Merlin did,
to a young knight named Sir Bernard.
- Then he's the one.
He just went through the gate
wearing it, headed south.
- I suppose the young fool's dashed off
to save his lady love.
Do you know who she is?
- Yes, a Lady Lydia of Garth Castle.
- Then you better ride after
him and get your sword back.
- We'll ride after him.
- Now you know how I hate to ride
with these creaking old bones of mine.
- Merlin, you don't realize
how serious this is.
Bernard told me that his
lady love is imprisoned
by four brothers, all
of them fierce knights.
Bernard, moreover,
thinks he's in possession
of a magic sword.
So it's obvious what he plans to do.
- He'll challenge them one after another.
- Yes, and get himself k*lled,
unless we get there first.
Come on.
[dramatic orchestral music]
- Are my eyes deceiving me, or
is that Leonidas the hermit?
- No, you're quite right, it is.
You're a long way from
your cave, Leonidas.
Who's this?
- Sir Gareth of Orkney.
- [Lancelot] Oh, what the matter with him?
- Sir Gareth paused
here to ask directions,
when suddenly a young
knight comes galloping up
from the direction of Camelot.
- A young knight.
Can you describe him?
- His shield bore a red
stripe and a black crescent.
- That's the man we're looking for.
- The young knight's
horse splashed some mud
on Sir Gareth's horse,
and Sir Gareth called the
young knight a clumsy oaf.
Well, one word led to another.
- Who challenged whom?
- Well, Sir Gareth challenged.
And then the young knight drew his sword,
kissed it, and knocked Sir Gareth cold
with three well-placed blows.
Then he got back on his
horse and rode south.
- Well that sounds like
Sir Bernard all right.
Can you look after him?
- Aye aye, leave him to me.
- Farewell, Leonidas.
[dramatic orchestral music]
- What's the matter with these three?
Who are they, anyway?
It looks as though they've
been in a bit of a disaster.
You don't suppose our young friend-
- Three of them?
It's difficult to believe.
Hold friends, I want a word with you.
I'm Sir Lancelot of the Lake,
Knight of the Round Table.
- Lancelot, we're on our way
to King Arthur's court to find you.
- We were paroled to you by a Sir Bernard
who defeated us in combat.
And he said that really
you had defeated us.
We couldn't quite
understand what he meant.
- What was the fight about?
- Well, there were these
maidens bathing in a brook.
- We forgot our vows of chivalry.
- And Sir Bernard reminded you of them.
Good for him.
Go on to Camelot and wait until I return.
My squire, Brian, will look after you.
- Yes, Sir Lancelot.
- Thank you, Sir Lancelot.
[slow music]
[Merlin speaking foreign language]
- He must be bursting
with confidence by now.
- Yes, too much of it.
In his present mood he'll want to take on
all four of those brothers at once.
Come on.
[dramatic orchestral music]
[tense orchestral music]
[horn blowing]
- What's all the noise about?
Oh, it's you, young Bernard.
Go away.
- Sir Bernard.
I've come to rescue the Lady Lydia.
I challenge all four brothers.
- [laughs] Challenge them?
To what, a dancing competition?
You better get away from
here before they get back.
- They're not in the castle?
- Oh, they will be soon enough.
They've gone hunting.
- I'll talk to Lydia until they return.
Is she locked up?
Take me to her.
- She's in my charge, that's where she is.
And there's nobody going to come in here
whilst Sir Damas and
his brothers are gone.
- Don't you want to help Lydia?
You served her father.
- I served him in the stables.
But when Sir Damas took over,
he made me seneschal of the place,
so I know what's good
for me, young Bernard.
And if you knew what
good for you [gasping].
- Open the gate and be quick about it.
[dramatic music]
Take me to the Lady Lydia!
- Yes, Sir Bernard,
right away.
[gentle music]
- Lydia, my love.
- Bernard.
What are you doing here?
Those fierce men, they'll be back soon.
- Have they harmed you?
If they've touched one
hair on your head, I'll-
- [Lydia] They haven't
done anything to me,
except insist that I marry one of them.
I must choose by tonight.
- You don't have to choose.
I came to rescue you.
- They won't let you do that, Bernard.
They'll k*ll you.
They're strong and merciless.
Not one of them's ever lost a fight.
- I'll take care of them.
I'll k*ll 'em all.
- Bernard, don't talk like that.
It won't help me to have you slain.
Any one of them alone could k*ll you.
- I know what I used to be like.
But I have a secret to tell you,
a wonderful, marvelous secret.
[slow music]
I'm invincible.
It's magic.
I have the sword that the Lady of the Lake
gave to Sir Lancelot.
No one can stand up against it.
And the scabbard makes it impossible
for me to receive a mortal wound.
- Bernard, are you sure?
That it works for anybody?
Even a-
- Even a rabbit.
That's what I was.
And I'll be a rabbit again
when I've returned the sword to Lancelot.
But while I have it,
men drop around me like rabbits.
- Then you mean you've used it?
- Used it?
I've beaten two famous
Knights of the Round Table
without half trying.
I've taken on knights
two and three at a time.
- That's the honest truth?
Then you're a conquering hero now.
- No, no, I'm not.
Not me really.
It's the sword.
That's something you'll have
to think about, my darling.
I can defend you from these ruffians.
But when it's all over,
and I have to return the sword,
then you'll have another choice to make,
about whether you want a husband like me.
- Of course I want you.
You know that, my dearest.
I always have.
- Lydia.
- Oh, your sword.
- [laughs] I'm a clumsy bore.
[Lancelot clearing throat]
- My boy.
- Sir Lancelot.
- We followed you all the way.
- Sir Lancelot, what I
did was unforgivable.
- Well, it's hardly the best form
to take a man's sword without asking him.
- The only thing I can say
is, I just had to save her.
I was going to ride right
back to Camelot with it.
I just can't fight anyone without magic.
- We think you can.
It slowed us up on the way here
counting the fallen knights in his path.
- You see, Bernard,
what you must understand
about the magic is the magic behind it.
I mean to say, the human mind-
- Sir Lancelot, I beg a boon of you.
Let me keep it for one hour more.
The villains I have to challenge-
- Listen to Merlin.
- No.
I won't give it up til
I've finished my mission.
I won't, I won't!
I'll fight you if you don't
let me have it until...
[dramatic music]
It's gone.
It was here.
- Lydia, do you have a good
sword around the castle
to lend your young champion?
[dramatic music continues]
- Whoa, what's the trouble here?
- Too late.
They're coming and that
villain's given them the sword.
- Well here's another one, just as good.
- What are you talking about?
As if there could be
two invincible swords.
- There isn't even one.
There never was a magic sword, Bernard.
Merlin made that story up
to give you confidence against Sir Kay.
- Yes, but I didn't think he'd go out
and challenge the whole world.
- You won those fights
with your own strength,
your own skill, just as
you can win this one.
- I don't believe you.
I know it was magic.
It had to be.
I was helpless without the sword,
and with it I could fight anyone.
- Sir Bernard!
- Come on, Bernard.
- I hear you came to challenge us.
I accept, in the name of my brothers.
You don't mind if I use
your precious sword, do you?
- Go ahead.
You can fight as well as
you did with the other.
I swear there was no magic.
- You're lying, I know it.
No one could stand up against that sword.
- Afraid, Master Bernard?
- I wasn't lying, Bernard.
Her lady is under my protection
as well as Sir Bernard's.
And I demand that you and your brothers
quit this castle and
never molest her again.
- You demand. [laughs]
Against this enchanted sword? [laughs]
[swords clanging]
[men grunting]
[water splashing]
[Bernard chuckles]
- Lancelot's b*ating him.
Lydia, do you realize what this means?
- It means the sword isn't magic.
- Ah-ha, better than that.
It means I'm no rabbit.
[triumphant orchestral music]
- You've got him now, you fool.
[swords clanging]
- You see what I mean Bernard.
It's you that does the
fighting, not the sword.
- [laughs] Thanks Lancelot.
[triumphant orchestral music continues]
[brother screaming]
[water splashing]
[triumphant orchestral music continues]
- Yield or die.
- [Brother] I yield.
- Collect your wounded,
and then I'll dictate
the terms of surrender.
- You're the greatest knight in the world.
[Bernard chuckles]
- Looks like as though we can
be starting back for Camelot.
- Yes, I suppose so.
I'd like to get my
magic sword back though.
Unless you'd like to make me another one.
- Just a minute, darling.
[Bernard sighs]
Want me to get it for you?
- Yes, if you think you can.
- Well, I've swam in it all my life.
- All right, go ahead.
- Turn around.
[water splashing]
- You see, Bernard.
The magic sword was a complete fiction
from beginning to end.
The whole idea of an invincible w*apon,
an enchantress who lived below
the surface of the water.
[Bernard and Merlin laughing]
[orchestral music]
[uplifting music]
♪ Now listen to my story ♪
♪ Yes, listen while I sing ♪
♪ Of days of old in England ♪
♪ When Arthur was the king ♪
♪ Of Merlin the magician ♪
♪ And Guinevere the queen ♪
♪ And Lancelot the bravest knight ♪
♪ The world has ever seen ♪
♪ In days of old ♪
♪ When knights were bold ♪
♪ The stories told ♪
♪ Of Lancelot ♪
♪ In days of old ♪
♪ When knights were bold ♪
♪ The stories told ♪
♪ Of Lancelot ♪
[gentle music]