03x02 - The w*r Plan

[bunniefuu]

[thunder rumbling]

[Elsa] Yes, that's right,
the Kaminsky Foundation.

So, your community canteen
owned by migrant women,

is that an organic canteen?

[door opens]

Morning!

[wind gusting]

Wow. Well,
this is not a happy bunch, apparently.

- [Emilie] Love the hunter look!
- Uh, yes. Sorry, I'll call you back.

Hey!

[thunder rumbling]

[tableware clanking]

Isn't this nice, us being together again?
Huh?

Stay!

[upbeat music playing]

THE LAME PLAN

THE CRAZY PLAN

THE BOOTY PLAN

THE HOOK-UP PLAN

Could we sign
a peace treaty for the weekend?

- Oh yes! Great idea, Jules!
- Huh? That's better, no?

Let's take a table selfie!
Just a photo! A souvenir.

- [Julio] Come on!
- Everyone smile.

- Yay!
- [Emilie] Oh! Gorgeous!

Great, wow! Beautiful! [exclaims]

- [Julio] Awesome.
- Go, Antoine.

- Do something, okay, go.
- Well, thank you.

[Emilie] Mm-hmm.

Thank you to the storm
for forcing you, uh, to stay here.

[Eddy exclaims]

Coffee, my love?

- Uh, sure.
- [Charlotte] Yeah?

Tea? That's better, honeybun,

since it's been six months
since you gave up coffee.

- I'll have some of both. How about that?
- Yeah.

[Cha] No. This is better.

- I have my two mugs.
- I know you prefer tea.

- Thank you.
- Yeah. [chuckles]

[Elsa] Nice of you.

- Thank you, I'm good, I'm good.
- Yeah.

[Eddy talking indistinctly]

- Can I toast you some bread?
- You want me to butter you up?

Butter it up for you?
Given that it's already toasted?

- [rattling]
- Eddy!

Don't rummage through the trash, sweetie!

[Emilie]
Stop him, instead of telling him no.

Oh wow, that's so sweet!
No, it's super cute! He's recycling.

- [Emilie] Yeah.
- Uh, no.

It's anything but cute! It's gross.
Even dangerous. Maybe there are syringes.

And she wants a kid?

- [Emilie] No, it's cute and gross.
- What?

Just like life, basically. [chuckles]

[Charlotte] Hmm.

[Emilie] The thunder
wasn't all we heard last night.

Huh, lovebirds?

[both chuckle]

Some of us know how to honor their wives.

- Okay, no, Jules, that's embarrassing.
- You sure?

Well, I only heard the thunder,
that's crazy.

Nothing from your side.

No, because we practice RAC,

Rhythmic Athletic Copulation.

It's quiet, but honestly, it's amazing!
Seriously, it's crazy!

No, because a regular f*ck
is how much, babe?

- 69.
- 69 calories.

- Whereas we work off 200, easy.
- Easy.

Easy.

We keep each other warm,
since you stole our comforter.

- [Charlotte] Yeah.
- At least I only steal comforters.

[Elsa] Okay, I'm not hungry anymore.

This... [clears throat]

- ...k*lled my appetite.
- [Cha] Yeah.

You need to be careful.
When you easily gain weight...

[laughs]

Uh, Milou? Your shampoo is really great.

- Thanks.
- Too bad it makes some hair go frizzy.

[gasps]

Okay, I think we all need
a group activity. Are you in?

- Oh, yeah!
- Not at all.

We can't. Because we have a thing.
Then we're going back to Paris.

- b*at it.
- [Emilie] Come on!

- You first.
- After you.

- I insist.
- Okay, fine, fine.

- Get lost.
- You get lost.

This is ridiculous! Stop!

[shouts] No one is going anywhere!

We're going to do a group thing, now!

[tense music playing]

Isn't this great, guys?

I'll pick the teams. So, uh, sh*t!

I have an idea! I'm such a genius!

Girls against guys. Boom!

- In your face!
- No...

[Emilie]
We already have the costumes, the colors.

It's stupid!
We're going to lose! And you hate losing.

- Since when?
- And Elsa sucks.

- Are you serious?
- All good. Go!

- Let's go!
- [Emilie] Yeah, go!

The love of my life
with his tight little ass!

I'm gonna k*ll him.

- What?
- k*ll him.

- You k*ll him, I'll k*ll you.
- Yeah, go on!

We're gonna b*at the boys!

- Okay. I'm going to k*ll her.
- No, Elsa. Wait.

That's not how the game works.
You're on the same team.

[Julio] Easy, wait!

- Wow. Paintball was a great idea.
- Move it or I'll bust your ass.

Oh. It's the babysitter's calling.

- Hello? Is Eddy okay?
- Okay.

- Did he eat? Did he nap?
- Okay, go!

[screams in pain]

- I'm on the phone with Yolande!
- That was a test sh*t.

- f*ck!
- It works!

I'll kick your ass later, okay?
Come on! Go!

Girls against guys,
we're going to destroy you!

Ah, f*ck.

[groans] Wait for me!

[upbeat electronic music]

Come on, Max. Come on, champ.
It's going to be okay.

I promise, come on.

Ow, ow, ow, not in the balls!

- No! It's girls against guys.
- [Matthieu screams]

[paintballs whooshing]

[Antoine] Go, go, go!

[upbeat electronic music continues]

[screams]

- What the hell are you doing?
- [music fades]

- I'm getting out of here!
- But...

- [sh*ts f*ring]
- [Antoine] sh**t, sh**t, sh**t!

- [Cha grunts]
- [Max] sh*t, get down.

- [phone ringing]
- Hmm?

The real estate agency?

[Antoine] Take cover!

Hi.

[sh*ts f*ring, woman screams]

Of course we still want to sell.

At ten at the house tomorrow?

[Max] I'm not going back in there.

Matt unloaded his g*n on my ass,
pimples hurt like hell!

You really think Matt's actually sad?

And the others? Antoine hasn't said
a word to me all morning.

Stick to the plan, okay?

Your idea is awesome.
We do it, and we go back to Paris, okay?

- It is a genius idea, isn't it?
- Selling Parisian sh*t to farmers?

- Compost!
- Same thing.

- It's awesome. Come on. Let's take off.
- No! Max, no! We have to stay!

I've been thinking.
We need to get back in the g*ng, okay?

They need to love us again, it's our g*ng.
We've always been a part of it.

- We need to prove they're...
- [paintball whooshes]

...nothing without us,
that our love is made of steel.

And a mayor with no friends
isn't a good image.

- [panting] You think so?
- We need to split up.

You're dumping me?

What? No! In the game, now!
You against me.

- Yes, yes. Alright. Alright.
- Okay.

I'll handle Elsa, you get Matt back.

Go bond with him. That's the goal.

Bond? 007? My father loves James Bond.

[Emilie] Finally!

- [heroic music playing]
- Okay. He loves De Gaulle too. Huh?

And he'd go back.
He would go back and fight.

Huh?

- You're right.
- Yes! Yes.

Go on, honey.

- [paintball whooshes]
- De Gaulle! No, relax, everything's fine.

[Charlotte] Come on! Go, go!
It's you and me against the world!

[man shouts in distance]

[heroic music fades]

[moaning]

- Yeah, baby, take it off.
- [Elsa] Come.

- [breathing heavily]
- [woman vocalizing]

- Hey, lovebirds!
- [frightened cry]

We're busy. What are you doing here?

I don't know, I wanted
to spend some time with you.

Well, we don't. [snickers]

- [Emilie] Quit it!
- All right.

- Well, then. See you later, turtledoves.
- [Julio] Yes.

- Oh, my! She's insane!
- No, no, no, wait.

Maybe she's right.
We don't have to do it here.

[exclaims] We need to call Briska.

- Who?
- The procreation shaman.

[taps on phone]

[panting] Kiss me!

[both moan]

[phone chimes]

[in English and Italian] Hi, amore! Hi!

[exclaims] Briska! Namaste!

We're ready

- for the moon in Capricorn ceremony.
- Yes. [pants]

And we need you
to start the drumming for us.

- Not the drums, please!
- Yes!

Sorry, but there's... there's really
something blocking right now.

- What?
- Yes, someone is blocking.

- A broken pact.
- [both mumble]

Uh, betraying one's word
within a friendship?

Do you know what I mean?

- Well, yeah.
- Um, no.

Can't think of anything. I don't know.
[whispers] Stop.

The eagles are prowling, you see?
You need to communicate.

You need to unblock,
or it'll block everything.

Okay, so you're saying
if I unblock the blocking

then I'd unlock everything
for this ovulation

and I'd get pregnant, is that it?

[Matt] f*ck, I'm out of a*mo!

Briska?

Okay, namaste.

- [sh*ts f*ring]
- [Emilie] Go!

[mysterious music]

[Emilie yelps]

Psst.

[low voice] Charlotte?

[Emilie] No, no!

- You're speaking to me again?
- Why did you come here?

Well, we just came

to enjoy the countryside, you know,
as a couple, with family.

Okay, okay, great.

And we... we love each other.

[mysterious music resumes]

[low voice] Matt! Psst.

- The hell...
- No! No, no!

- No.
- What?

[low voice] There! Charlotte! Charlotte!

The fox is in the furnace.

I repeat. The fox is in the furnace.

Them being a couple still bugs you, huh?

Look who's talking.
Have you seen yourself, huh?

Yeah, but it's different for me.

I'm suffering because
Charlotte has a new guy, but it's healthy.

Well, she broke a pact we made
when we were 15 years old!

We promised we wouldn't steal
each other's exes!

But, you know what?

I've actually been thinking,
and seeing you two this morning,

I thought you guys were good together.

- Oh, you believe in us now?
- Yeah.

And honestly,
having Max as a brother-in-law...

Hey, it'd be hard to top that.

My brother! Best bro del mundo...

[Elsa] At twelve o'clock,

the hyena is emerging from the box.

- Come on, yes.
- What are you doing? What?

- [screams]
- [sh*ts f*ring]

Tactical att*ck!

- [Antoine] Sun Tzu, The Art of w*r.
- Right now!

- [Antoine] You and Max, never!
- [Charlotte screams]

What the hell are you doing?
Charlotte is on our team!

- I'll stop, alright!
- [sh*ts f*ring]

[Emilie] Finally, Max!
Someone who understands!

It's girls against guys.
It's not rocket science, you morons!

I love you, Charlotte!

[hissing]

[grunts]

[epic music]

- [heavy breathing]
- [paintballs whizzing]

Did you take a blood oath and everything?

With a drop of blood
and a memory box, why?

A mental block over a teenage pact?

[yells] Enough with the blocking thing!

Huh! What is with all of you?
I'm not blocking.

There's no blocking.
Yes, you're f*cking blocking.

- You're blocking.
- No!

- You're blocking.
- No!

- You are!
- No!

[Antoine] You wanna talk
about selling the house now?

Why are you stuck on this?
Grandma gave us the green light.

So what? You don't like it here?

Yeah, with psychopath farmers
and a boiler that's about to explode?

- It's our first visit in three months.
- Maybe it's a sign.

Stop it! You sound like Elsa.
If you don't wanna sell, go back to work!

[woman yells]

[heavy sigh]

[Max] Come on, Matt!
Let's call a truce, huh?

I can go talk to Chacha right now.

- Oh yeah?
- Yeah, whatever.

- [sh*ts, woman yells]
- Go ahead, then.

Matt, we've been friends for 20 years.

- Fine, I'm going.
- [Matt] So go now.

[Max] You're my blood!

The blood in my veins, bro!

[Elsa and Matt] Shut up!

Don't tell the others
about selling the house.

- Why not?
- Just because.

I'm making everyone think
I love the country.

- What's wrong with you?
- What's wrong with you? Who does that?

Everybody.

- No, they don't.
- Yes, they do.

All right, that's enough.
Come on, my love.

[grunts] Everything will work out.
We're selling the house,

we'll go back to Paris,
you'll get over your depression

- Look at me.
- Yes, I'm looking at you.

- I love you.
- I love you too.

- [sh*ts echo]
- [grunts]

- f*ck! My g*n!
- Got you! [laughs]

Milou! Now what am I supposed to do?

[rhythmic music]

[sh*ts f*ring in distance]

[Max] It's me! Get the f*ck out of here!

[frightened yelp]

[music fades]

[Elsa] Truce? Truce?

- Uh... What? Oh, okay.
- [Elsa] Yeah.

[Charlotte] Okay.

[grunting] Okay, okay. Help me.

- Yeah, you got me. That's what I'm doing.
- Help me. [loud grunt]

- Oh, Jesus, I was... Are you okay?
- [panting] Okay.

I'm putting it down.

[huffs]

- Okay, I wanted to tell you... [pants]
- Yeah?

[excited humming]

- [Elsa giggles]
- Oh, me too! [laughs]

- I'm not having a mental block. All right?
- Yes.

- So let's unblock.
- Of course.

Also I don't think you tend to put on
weight on your ass, I mean... anywhere.

And, your hair doesn't get frizzy.
At least not all the time.

- Oh. [snickers]
- [chuckles]

So, you're not mad
about Max and me anymore?

No.

Oh sh*t, I'm so happy!

You know, I came here just for that.
I wanted to spend time with you.

- [Antoine] Go, go, go. Move, damn it!
- Wait. We're done for.

- Don't stop. Let's get them.
- They're going to sh**t me!

No, see, the thing with Max,
I don't even really care.

[relieved sigh]

It's funny you get my sloppy seconds.
You're recycling, for once.

- My favorite little trash bag! [giggles]
- [chuckles]

What are you doing?
I'm all alone against the boys.

We'll do a 4-4-3-2 att*ck.

Okay? Are you guys hugging?

- Yes.
- Yeah.

- That's so cool.
- [both] Yeah!

See how joyful the countryside
makes people?

[shouts of joy]

Milou's butt. Go ahead, have at it.

- [sh*ts f*ring]
- [girls squealing]

[Elsa] att*ck!

- Let's k*ll them, girls!
- [battle cry]

[Julio] ]sh**t, guys! sh**t!

[epic music]

[smoke flare whooshes]

[Antoine] Ow! My balls! [groans]

[Matt] Come on!

- [Antoine] Truce!
- [Matt] Okay, we surrender!

- We surrender.
- Truce!

- [cheering]
- [Charlotte] Oh, yeah!

[together] We won!

[Max sighs heavily]

[chanting] We won!

- [Emilie] Thanks to whom?
- [Matt] b*at it.

Where are you going? Where are they going?

- We won!
- Where are they going?

Wait for me!

[chanting] We won! We won! Wait!

[classical opera music playing]

[birds chirping]

[rooster crowing]

[rooster crowing]

- [music stops]
- Shut the f*ck up!

[rooster crowing]

[goat bleats]

- Can I butter it up for you?
- Can I make you another coffee?

[Charlotte] Oh, yeah!

[squealing]

[in unison] Sorority,
sorori-you, sorori-me,

sorori-cheesy! [both laugh]

So you combined the two, is that it?

- So, what is it?
- We just came up with it.

I'll tell you later.

- [Elsa] We're so close!
- Oh, sister!

- [Elsa] Cheesy!
- [laughter]

RECOGNIZING BURN OUT

- [joyful sigh]
- [Elsa] Oh!

- I have something for you.
- Oh?

Ta-da!

Oh!

It's bigger than mine.

- [Cha] What is it?
- It's a peace offering.

It's a seed from Parapoutna-ak.

[Emilie] It does look
like dried poop, doesn't it?

I've always dreamed of having
a seed from Parapoutna-ak

[chuckles] Oh, a gift for peace.

[disembodied humming]

Oh!

Ta-da!

- [Emilie gasps]
- My most prized possession.

And it's secondhand
since it used to be mine.

So she gets the mommy model, not the baby.

- [gigles]
- Wow, I mean...

It's beautiful! Namaste.

- Namaste. Namaste.
- Namaste.

[gasps] But I need to empty it out first.

Okay, I don't think you'll get it back.

[Elsa] Knock it off.

In any case, you guys are so cute,
I'm so happy.

- [Cha] Oh...
- [Elsa] Hmm...

Oh, my love.

- [smooches]
- Oh.

- Yes?
- Go ahead.

- [chuckles]
- Oh, wow.

Hey!

- Who's is this? Is it Britney?
- Rihanna.

- [giggles] Not bad, huh?
- Yeah.

[chuckles] Yeah.

- [phone chimes]
- [Charlotte] Ah. Mm...

[horse neighs outside]

HOUSE VISIT 10:00 AM

Oh! sh*t, already?

All right, everyone out!

Hey! Go for a walk, come on!
Fill your lungs with nature!

Aren't you coming
to the fertile moon ceremony?

I can't, I need to put things away,
and Eddy will wake up soon.

- I can do it with you, Elsa.
- Or the three of us can do it later?

Wait, Cha, you can't,
because you know, we have to...

We're supposed
to go see the farms in the area. Remember?

Yes, I'll catch up with you.
I... I'm doing the FMC.

- The... The what?
- The Facile Moon Ceremony. [scoffs]

- Don't you ever listen?
- No, fertile.

- It's fertile, not fecil.
- Okay, fertile, go for it! Let's go, out!

- See you later?
- Okay.

I don't care where you go, just go.

Hey! Go for a walk. That's awesome.
And you, get dressed, please!

I am already dressed.

You are?

Hmm.

[vacuum whirring]

[hums]

[whimsical music playing, birds chirping]

[phone rings and vibrates]

- Is that them?
- No.

No, it's... It's my mother.

Well, it's strange,
they're 12 minutes late.

Did you email them
the right train station?

The Morass station?
You put the Morass station?

Yes, yes. M-O-R-A-S-S.

- Yes. sh*t. [heavy sigh]
- I keep calling.

- They're not picking up.
- Weird...

Oh, it's them! Go answer the door!

Oh, no, it's not them.

Hello-hello!

- What are you doing here?
- Emilie invited me.

- I could only come on Sunday...
- Yes! Hold on a sec! Just a sec.

That was when no one could make it!

He needs to stay outside.
He'll ruin the sale.

- Well, you came?
- Yes.

Go over there, the donkey's
waiting for you. He's really cute.

Hee-haw! He's calling you! Later!

Milou, come on.

He's not leaving, dammit.

Take him to the bar!

- There.
- There.

He's not moving.

How's it going?

- Donkey, huh?
- Forget it. Let's go see Jules.

- [Max] Hello, sir.
- Hello.

First of all, uh,

what a beautiful estate.

I haven't introduced myself, sorry.
I'm Maxime Pauillac.

I'm running for mayor
of the 9th district in Paris.

I have a project
that will revolutionize your farming.

I'm offering to send you the sh*t...

I mean the compost of my constituents,

so that you can grow plants and whatnot...

- No, wait, let me stop you right there.
- ...for...

I have horses.

I have plenty of sh*t.

[dog barks in distance]

Right.

- You have a good day.
- Have a good day.

- [door slams]
- [horse neighs]

He might not be the right target.

- Here you go.
- Thank you.

- [phone rings]
- sh*t, she's calling again.

It's the woman for the visit.
She's insisting on coming.

Just give it to him, he can handle it.

You sure?

[phone keeps ringing]

Yes, ma'am!

- I like it here. I don't want to sell...
- He handles stuff like this well.

- It's all good.
- Yeah?

- The things women make us do...
- Don't complain.

You just have real estate issues.

I've been wearing rabbit poop around
my neck for the last six months,

I have sex listening to shaman drums,
and climax on a schedule.

- Yeah, I gotta admit.
- Oh, yeah. [chuckles]

But, uh...

Please tell me you want this child?

Yeah, of course. Of course.

Especially with her.

That's what's most important.

I truly love Eddy,

but I'd rather chop off
my arm than have another kid.

- Oh yeah?
- [chuckles] Oh, yeah.

[sorrowful music playing over stereo]

But see, Elsa and I are really struggling.

I feel like it's a sign, that maybe
I'm actually not entirely ready.

To be a father? Ready?

You'll never be ready.

Especially before the first one.

- [Roman] Yes.
- That's reassuring.

[Roman] That lady won't be coming back
anytime soon.

- It's handled?
- I may have taken it too far.

I said there was a children's cemetery
under the garden.

We're still on topic.

Thanks, man, I can't lie.
Whenever I lie, I get caught.

Actors Studio.

[peaceful electronic music playing]

[birds chirping]

[music continues]

[music fades]

[dial tone]

Cha, please pick up.

[sniffs]

[door opens]

- Yes?
- Oh.

- [pigs oink]
- Hello, sir.

First of all, um,

what a magnificent estate!

Sorry, I haven't introduced myself.
My name is Maxime Pauillac,

I'm running for...

[clicks tongue]

I feel like this is going to be a pain.

- [peaceful electronic music continues]
- [echoing laughter]

[Emilie] Antoine,
have you heard from the buyers?

Well, call them back,
or give me their number, I don't know!

- But...
- [girls laughing]

[sighs] All right.

[Elsa] Like that!

[cheering]

- Yes, Elsa!
- Nature up my p*ssy.

- Oh, yeah!
- Yeah.

[both laugh]

[Charlotte] Wait. [giggles]

- Oh.
- What?

Oh, my love, he's so sweet,
he's calling me again.

- Aren't you going to answer?
- No.

- The facial moon gets priority.
- No, stop, enough.

I'm sorry but, I mean, It's not "facial,"

it's "fertile."

- Fertile, right.
- It's not the same.

- Yeah! It's what I meant! [giggles]
- That's better.

Oh, okay. It's him again.

I'll be right back! Okay? I'll be back.

If I unblock, I get unstuck.

Ovulation.

Fertility.

It's great that you're interested,
because it's a project with potential,

and that may
hugely benefit the countryside,

and finally connect Paris
and the countryside.

Because Paris will send you,
like, you know,

uh, poop, and, uh,
you know, like, peelings,

well, compost! Yeah.

- [cows mooing]
- And that will, you know, enable you,

the lung of our beloved France,

this French countryside
built in our image...

Hello! I'm Charlotte Ben Smires,
Mr. Pauillac's campaign co-director.

- Jehovah's Witnesses?
- No! Not at all!

[in Latin] Vade retro.

[door slams]

But...

I finally reeled in a sucker
and you barged in!

You kept on calling me!

I didn't think
you'd show up in a djellaba!

I'm wearing a belt, it's stylish!

My bad.

In fact, I have a ceremony
waiting for me, I'm off!

- So, I should finish on my own?
- Yeah!

I don't understand
why they were a no-show.

Maybe they changed her mind.

Yeah, you don't give a damn.

- I don't know.
- You don't even seem disappointed.

Okay, well, I'm gonna go to...
Go now, because, um...

I have a... I have a call with...

- with Eddy.
- [girls chuckle]

Hey! You want to try
my double-flavored quiche?

- I wanted to celebrate us coming together.
- [Cha] Yeah.

- Look! It's beautiful!
- [Cha] Wow.

Ta-da!

- [Elsa] Mm.
- Well?

Yeah!

- Go on, try it!
- Yeah! It's gorgeous!

[Elsa] There we go!

- Well, um...
- Help yourself.

[chuckles]

- There.
- Oh. [chuckles]

- [Elsa] Mm.
- Ah.

[Emilie] Oh, what's the matter?

- Is it really that gross?
- [Cha] No, no.

- Oh...
- [Elsa exclaims]

I want to throw up!

- Oh, sh*t.
- sh*t.

No, not "sh*t," it's great!

- It is?
- Of course!

In movies, what does it mean
when women feel like throwing up?

Well, that they're sick.

No, it means they're pregnant!

- Oh. I mean, yeah, so?
- [Elsa exclaims]

I might be pregnant!

[forced laughter] Is that a good thing?

- Yes.
- Yes.

Well, yes! Yes. [chuckles] Obviously!
[laughter]

- I'm kidding, of course!
- You don't like children?

Huh? Me? Yes. Right? A lot.

Yeah. Yes. In fact...

Uh... I want some.

- You always said otherwise!
- Max would make a great dad.

- Seriously.
- Uh... no.

He would! In fact, I'm feeling nauseous!

Hey, maybe I'm a little pregnant.

- Uh...
- Oh! [exclaims]

[mimicking their chant]

[gasps]
What if we get pregnant at the same time?

It'd be awesome. It would be such a twist,
we'd be like sisters!

No, it mostly would be super weird.
We're not white trash.

Hold on, Milou, don't you want another go?

- Another pregnancy?
- Yeah!

[scoffs] I'd rather chop my arm off.

Do you have any symptoms?

Uh, yeah.

Yeah. For starters,
I don't want to eat this quiche.

Well, it's not one.

Are your nipples swollen?

Because mine are!

Huh? Me too, yes!

- It's crazy, look...
- Is your sense of smell heightened?

[sniffs] Yeah.

- Besides, it stinks in here.
- I farted.

- Oh.
- Ah.

- You feel like farting?
- No, I have to admit, not that. No.

- There, you're not pregnant.
- I'm not?

You don't want children anyway.

Now that you mention it, I may have
a slight urge to fart coming up.

[Elsa scoffs]

- But it's not ready to come out yet.
- I'm going.

Wait, it's getting closer! Hold on!

[both chanting]

[inhales deeply]

- [Elsa exhales]
- [chanting indistinctly]

[loud chanting]

[loud humming]

Ah, can we talk for a sec?

No, I'm in the middle of the ceremony
for my pregnancy test!

[sighs]

It's so I can surprise Jules,
see, in case...

Okay.

- But isn't it kind of early for the test?
- [vocalizing]

No, I have a good feeling!

[sighs]

[shaman chanting]

[huffs]

Sorry about the farmers' visits.
But I've won Elsa over, almost.

Yeah, that's cool.

I may have gone overboard.

I told her I might be pregnant.
What a nightmare it'd be.

We should take a test anyway.

Your pill is powerless
against my champion sperm.

[laughs]

The local farmers
didn't think you were a champion.

You didn't see those guys,
they're unbelievably close-minded,

They're like oysters.

Living here, it's like something
out of a true-crime show.

These guys must lose their minds.

And they say we Parisians are grumpy.

[Roman] "He knocks on the door.

Little pigs!

- Sweet little pigs!
- [Cha] That's a cool costume.

- Can I come in?
- [Max] Why is he dressed like a farmer?

[Roman] No, by the hair
on my chinny-chin-chin,

so I'll huff and puff
and blow your house away!"

No, seriously,
how did we not think of it before?

- sh*t. You're right!
- [laughs]

- I just had a genius idea, no?
- No.

I had a genius idea,
but didn't state it. So, it's mine.

Can't believe this guy
is stealing my ideas.

Are you kidding? I'm the one who...
I'm looking at him...

Charlotte, can I talk to you?

[huffs]

Uh... Just a sec. We're f*cking.

Oh.

Okay.

[birds chirping]

Hey, little man. Where are you going?

- [Eddy laughs]
- What's that? Huh?

Who gave you that? Was it Elsa?

It's... It's the garbage!

- It's the garbage? It's not garbage.
- [Eddy giggles]

Huh. Thanks! [smooches]

[giggles]

- So great.
- [Eddy giggles]

[gentle electronic music playing]

[panting]

[music fades]

[heartbeat]

[sniffles]

But...

[gentle electronic music continues]