04x20 - Moy Family

[bunniefuu]

Tonight on "supernanny,"

Jo visits the moys...

[Girl] go away. I don't like it!

A family facing an issue countless americans

Can relate to.

Dad's gone for work four days a week,

Leaving mom with obnoxious kids... [Girl] they're not your friends!

This is a warning. Stop. Your behavior right now is very spoilt,

And I do not like it.fine!

That drive her to the brink of emotional collapse. [Fusses]

[Cries] everything turns into a battle.

The two girls verbally att*ck each other...

We don't like each other. I don't like camryn.

And hate each other's guts.

Will jo help mom get things under control?

No!

I like to get what I want whenever I want.

I want to be queen of the world.

And can she get the two girls to get along? [Spits]

Aah! Hey!

Or will this family fall apart?

[Crying] I thought I was doing better, but I'm not,

And I don't know how to change it.

♪♪♪

♪ Be good, be good ♪

♪ Be good, be good, be good ♪

♪ Be good, be good, be good ♪

♪ Be good, be good, be good ♪ ♪ johnny ♪

♪ Be good, be good, be good ♪

♪ Be good, be good, be good ♪

♪ Be good, be good, be good ♪

♪ Be good, be good, be good ♪ ♪ johnny ♪

♪ Johnny ♪

♪♪♪

So let's take a look at my next family

In chilly nebraska.

[Both] hi. We're the moy family.

I'm michelle... I'm harding.

And we have three children... [Children screaming]

Hailey, who's ... Aah!

Camryn, who's ... Oh!

And matthew, who's . [Laughs]

I am a computer consultant. I travel.

Dad's home. And michelle is a single parent during all times.

He's usually gone monday through thursday night.

I'm not real happy with his work situation right now.

I feel that the issues that we're facing with the children

Started when harding had to start traveling so much

And being gone. Don't kick her and don't let the door slam in her face.

When hailey's in a good mood, then things are peaceful.

But as hailey's attitude goes, so goes the rest of the family.

[Spits] aah!

[Michelle] hey! ♪ 'Cause you're the worst person in the world ♪

You're so dumb you don't know how. Hailey, just stop it.

Camryn is a big, fat poo. [Michelle] I don't like the way you're speaking right now.

[Hailey] oh, well. When hailey is being rude and disrespectful,

It's really hard for me

Because I don't know how to handle that.

[Girls scream]

Discipline is not really working in our house

Because I think I'm--i'm confused about when to apply it

And what is an appropriate punishment for them.

That's where I struggle.

You can't do anything about it 'cause you're useless to us.

This is ridiculous. I can't believe you're taking this.

Pfft! It's really her way, or it's no way.

No. Go to bed.

No.

There's a lot of sibling rivalry

Going on between hailey and camryn.

They're only two and a half years apart,

And they compete for our attention.

Well, there you have it-- sisterly love or not.

Hey, camryn.

Did I ask you not to get on that thing anymore?

Nope.

I am concerned about camryn

Starting to do some of the same behaviors as hailey.

Give it to me now.

[Screams]

[Cries]

Matthew is starting to exhibit defiant behavior as well.

I don't like it! Matthew will throw tantrums

When he doesn't get what he wants.

Um, he doesn't like being told "no." No!

No! I don't wanna! [Screams]

Nice.

No!

We need to find something before it gets any worse,

And I don't know what to do to stop it.

Do not throw things in the car.

No. Stop.

I feel like I should be doing a better job.

I feel like I should know how to be a better mother.

[Matthew babbles] she can't do anything about it.

Things aren't quite right.

I need to get to the bottom of this.

I'm on my way.

♪♪♪

Hello. Hi.

Hi. Pleased to meet you. I'm jo.

Nice to meet you. I'm michelle. Come on in.

Thank you. [Michelle] great.

Oh, you're here! [Harding] iam here.

You're home today. Pleased to meet you. Hi.

I am home. Hello, jo. Nice to meet you.

Off we went to meet the children,

And little did I know they were hiding in the closet.

Didn't want to meet supernanny. I think they were

A little bit worried about what they might get.

How old is your young brother here? [Hailey] he's .

Yeah, okay.

As soon as I arrived, I wanted to see

Exactly how bad this sibling rivalry was,

And it wasn't great.

You girls hang out together? No. We don't like each other. I don't like camryn.

You don't like each other? Mnh-mnh.

Why? She just bothers me all the time,

And she lies about me. What does she say?

Like, "hailey's so stupid" or whatever.

I wish camryn was out of the house, because I wouldn't

Have to cope with her bothering me and starting fights.

And I don't really love camryn that much.

So why don't you like your sister?

She pulls on my hair. So you're mean to each other?

Hailey is mean and not very nice to me.

She's just very plain mean. I don't like living with hailey.

She messes up my stuff, and I pull on her hair

'Cause she won't get out of my room. I barely goin your room.

You try to get in my room. Do not!

Yeah, you do. Do not!

Do too. Do not!

Do too. Do not!

She does too. She's lying.

They bicker very, very hard towards one another.

They're disrespectful,

And they say things to hurt each other.

How do you know what's clean and what's not?

Like, there's some stuff that needs to go in the trash.

Do you just throw it on the floor then?

Yeah, 'cause I can't find the trash can.

Well, what's that-- well, what's that then?

This is the trash can, but I can't reach the trash can.

I don't really like doing things by myself,

Like cleaning my room. I think that it's too much of a job.

I'd rather have people do things for me than do things myself

'Cause I don't like having to take care of myself.

I like to get what I want whenever I want.

I want to be queen of the world.

Not only do these girls have no respect for each other,

But they've got no respect for their things either.

♪♪♪

Later on in the afternoon,

We went to hailey's fencing practice,

And on the way home, she refused to listen to her mom

And turn off her mp player.

Are you listening to your mp player?

Hailey, do you have your headphones on?

Hailey, you need to take them out

Because I told you not to put them in.

Did you hear me, hailey?

You need to take the earphones out.

Hailey started to slap her hand

To tell her to get off and leave her alone.

The mere fact that these kids think it's okay

To hit their mother is-- is beyond me.

When we get home, I am taking them away.

Don't scratch me. Ouch!

Do not scratch me.

When hailey scratched at me,

I felt frustrated in the car.

I didn't feel like I could effectively discipline her.

So why do you choose not to do anything

About your daughter hitting you?

Well, not for the hitting. Obviously, you know--

Then what do you do, then? 'Cause she's just done it.

I guess I didn't do anything.

Mom doesn't put her foot down

And discipline the kids when she needs to,

And so there's no roping these kids in

When they become out of hand.

I mean, when I punish hailey, I try to take away her things.

I have unplugged her tv.

I have also tried it to tie it to their allowance.

A dollar a day for good behaviors.

I thought this was silly. If you pay the girls to be good,

Then they're only gonna be good for a price.

So we thought, well, maybe if we tie the behavior

To their spending money, then it would be more of an incentive

For them to treat each other kindly,

Because they're always wanting me to buy them things.

So now they're only performing if they're paid?

Yeah.

Coming up, hailey takes a swing at her mom...

[Michelle] ouch!

And jo lays into mom and dad.

Why would you expect your kids to even think

That you give a damn when you can't even pick up the phone

To call 'em during the week?

When "supernanny" returns.

♪ Be good, be good ♪

♪♪♪

I realized at dinnertime, it's not just the girls that argue,

But there's a lot of underlying tension

Between hailey and her dad as well.

[Harding] you sit at the end like usual.

I can sit here if I want to. I'm ready.

I'm not. You can wait.

I started traveling for work about a year and a half ago.

I don't have the deeper relationship with the children

That I should have with each one of them had I stayed at home.

[Hailey] camryn can never be cool 'cause she's just not.

[Harding] hey, hey. What did you just call her?

I never said. I never called her anything.

Leave your sister out of that.

You leaveme out of it. We're not even talking to you.

[Harding] hey.

Hey what? Finish your sentence, please.

Hiya! Don't do that to his stuff.

Hiya!

I wondered that if dad being gone so much

Affected hailey's behavior,

So I decided to talk to him more about it in detail.

And you speak to the children every evening?

Uh, no. Just--just on mondays when i, uh, when I arrive.

I call like around : at night.

You know, a lot of parents have jobs that demand travel,

But for this father and husband to go away

And to only call his family once seems crazy to me.

It really does.

♪♪♪

After speaking to dad, I then went and spoke to mom

Because I noticed earlier that she had been crying in the car.

The question was why?

What makes you cry

When you get into an argument with the kids?

When they are being defiant and rude

And I've lost my patience.

[Sniffles] I hate being in the conflict,

So I just wanna get past it.

Why is she so angry with you? Why is she so angry with dad?

When she doesn't get time with me or harding,

She gets jealous of the time we spend with camryn

Or with matthew

Because they're competing for our limited attention.

Their relationship is very volatile.

Camryn and hailey? Camryn and hailey's.

Mm-hmm. You're unhappy, the kids' behavior,

Not having that quality time when dad is home.

How--how-- that's not their priority.

I mean, what--what happened? How did it get lost?

I don't know. I-i hadn't thought of that.

Going into the parent meeting with jo,

I felt a lot of trepidation.

She saw us being ineffective with discipline,

And so I knew that she would have a lot to say.

♪♪♪

Let's talk about these issues

You've chose not to address

That's led us into the place that we're in now.

Michelle, emotionally, you're recognizing

That it's taking its toll with not having harding around.

You're feeling like a single parent.

When I watch you with the kids,

You're very passive.

No backbone,

And you allow the kids to do what they want when they want.

You don't follow through with anything you say.

When I watch your girls, I see their attitude.

I see their disrespect. Your kids are rude to you.

They smart-mouth. They've got attitude.

They punch. They kick.

We were in a car yesterday, where you were turning your head

As hailey was slapping you, and that was okay.

Not once did you pull that car over

To actually turn around

And address your child for the way they were behaving.

So you need to start thinking

About the kind of mother that you want to be.

I want to be different, I want to make a change

And I want my children to see me make that change.

Let's talk about your relationship with hailey.

Okay.

It's strained.

Yes, it is.

It's hostile.

You've gotta reach out to her because she's slipping.

She's slipping. Yeah.

Pull her back in.

Let me talk about the next point here.

I'm quite astounded that you can actually go away

And not even pick up the phone

To speak to michelle during the week or speak to your kids.

You can't squeeze five minutes

To just pick up the phone and say, "good night, sweeties"?

Where's the contact?

There is none.

So why would you expect your kids to even think

That you give a damn when you can't even pick up the phone

To call them during the week?

What--what are you thinking? I wasn't.

You know, a lot of families

Have a parent that does have to travel for business.

I think we face some common struggles that all--

That a lot of families face.

Correct, but they resolve them.

Let's talk about hailey and camryn.

I know every child, every sibling,

Has their bickering, their ups and downs,

But primarily,

These two sisters are not enjoying each other's company,

Which is sad to see.

Mm-hmm. Right.

I mean, you know, when you--

When you've got hailey turn around and saying,

"You know, I wish camryn would die. I don't want her around,"

And she's saying words

To--to make an impact, to hurt.

They both actually do want to connect with one another.

You can see it. You can see it's just their hurt behavior,

Which means you've got to get them involved

In doing things together... Okay.

Yeah. Instead of keeping them apart, because at the moment,

There's been a lot of work focusing on keeping them apart

So that they don't argue.

Throw them in doing things together

So they learn how to work things out together,

So they teamwork together.

I think we've fallen in the habit, um, over time,

Of just letting things happen

Instead of t-- sitting down and taking stock

And saying, "is this really working?"

That's why we're glad to have you here, is so that we can see

With an objective eye what we don't notice every day.

We want things to be different,

And we--we're committed to making the changes.

So it's about recognizing what we do as parents

So that we make the most of what we got right now.

Are we ready for that change? Absolutely, jo.

We're ready for the change.okay.

Good. Fantastic.

All right. All right, let's go.

Coming up, dad leaves mom to fend for herself...

I'm like, "oh, no. How do I handle this now?"

It was very overwhelming. And later, hailey pushes mom to the breaking point.

What's going on here? [Voice breaks] everything turns into a battle.

When "supernanny" returns.

♪ Be good, be good ♪

♪♪♪

Because dad was due to leave town,

I knew I only had one day

To really connect hailey and her dad together.

So I had a little surprise waiting for them

When they got home. Ha ha!

Wow! Look at that!

This dragon is in the living room

Because it's a metaphor for really what is going on here

With regards to your relationship together.

What do you say about hailey? I feel like she doesn't respect me.

Yeah. And we're falling apart.

We don't spend enough time together.

Yeah, and what do you say about dad?

That he is not listening to what I say,

And he's overreacting.

We're gonna write those things down,

And what we're going to do is slay that dragon

And defeat it today

So that we can start to build our relationship together.

When they were given the chance to write down the things

That they were really annoyed about one another with,

They were very forthcoming.

I think I do love my dad, but sometimes I really just--

I'm really mad at him, which is what gets in the way of that.

So that when you read out what's in the balloon... [Stomps foot]

You pop it.

This allows you to be able to express how you feel.

I thought it would be really cool to have hailey

Teach her dad some of the fencing moves

So they could pop the balloons together. Okay.

[Jo] en garde. "Not listen." Oops.

All right. Whee!

"Overreacting."

"Angry."

Slaying the dragon was

The first step to my dad and I talking more.

And that would really help with our relationship a lot.

"Too severe about punishment." [Air whooshing]

[Jo] oh, that one hit home.

It served really well for harding and hailey

Because they were able to do this

And have fun doing it at the same time. [Harding] "strict."

My feelings on clearing the air with hailey--

It felt--it felt great.

I felt like a burden had been lifted off my shoulders.

[Loud pop]

[Harding] oh! [Laughs]

[Makes stabbing sound]

♪♪♪

[Jo] after both dad and hailey

Had vented their negative feelings,

It was really important to concentrate on the positive.

Dad, as a young child, used to love to dosumi-e,

Which is eastern brush painting, with his own father.

So I thought it would be a really pleasant experience

For them both to do that together.

These brushes are hard to clean.yeah.

I wish my dad was here. He does chinese characters.

He could do all this.

I could see that dad really enjoyed doing this with hailey,

As he used to do it when he was her age.

[Harding] be careful.

I don't know if this will stain your hands.

[Chuckles] don't get it on you.

It was nice to do that with my dad

Because it was one of the steps to my dad and I talking more.

What does yours say, hailey? "Peace and tranquility."

And yours?

"Family and love."

Doing the--thesumi-e with hailey,

I thought was very refreshing,

And I think seeing those four symbols, um, together,

I'm like, wow. She's giving me an opportunity,

A chance to make it right with her.

♪♪♪

At the end of the day, harding had to leave to go off to work,

But it's just made a dramatic difference to this family,

And I'm sure he's reaped the benefits of that as well.

Okay, how you feeling?

I feel like a-a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

I've made progress trying to reach out to hailey.

I feel like she's going to give me

A chance to make things right.

It's gonna be a long process, but I'm willing to s--

To put the time and energy into it.

It was sort of nice to give my dad a hug,

But I still have some doubts that he'll go back on his word

And not fulfill the promises that he made. All right, bye, sweetie.

We're gonna miss you. I'm gonna miss you, too.

I will be putting my family first from now on.

I'm a-a man of my word.

I'm committed, and I will come through.

Bye, sweetie. [Michelle] bye.

Bye, kids. [Hailey] bye.

Behave. All right.

[Jo] safe travels. [Harding] all right. Thank you.

When I was left by myself,

I'm like, "oh, no. How do I handle this now?

Harding's not here, and it's all me."

It was very overwhelming.

Coming up, jo gives camryn an attitude adjustment...

Now your behavior right now is very spoilt,

And I do not like it.

And later, mom decides to get tough.

[Hailey] they're not your friends! This is a warning. Stop.

When "supernanny" returns.

♪ Be good, be good ♪

[Jo] the next day, when dad went off to work,

Things were back to "normal,"

And mom and hailey were arguing before I even arrived.

I didn't move your stupid, little stupid maps.

Do not use this language...

Stupid.

Or you will not get to play this game. [Singsong voice] stupid.

Okay. You're done. You're not playing anymore.

♪♪♪

You need to go to your room right now.

Go to your room.

Next, dad ha-- no, you listen.

Dad told you not to slam any doors.

I don't want to listen to you. Go away.removed.

[Michelle] hi.

Hiya. How's your morning been? It's been kinda rocky.

Yeah? What's happened?

When we were playing the board game earlier...yeah.

Hailey was a part of it,

And then she started talking rudely and talking back.

And at that stage, mom became very overwhelmed,

And at that point, I just really wanted

To just say, "what's going on here?"

Um, just let it out. Let it out and cry. Let it out.

What's going on here?

[Voice breaking] everything turns into a battle.mm-hmm.

But you're expecting something that's not going to happen.

You're expecting no confrontation.

You're gonna get confrontation. You'regoing to get it.

Right. You've made a conscious decision to say,

"I need to stop all of this now."

It doesn't mean that the kids are just gonna

Snap in and now make the effort.

You know, one of the reasons why mom feels so badly overwhelmed

Is because she doesn't know how to discipline properly,

And that certainly was the next step to teach her.

If these rules get broken, there's discipline.

Matthew, you break these rules,

And you're gonna end up doing time-out on the naughty step.

You girls will have reflection

In the downstairs area,

Where all your games and your tv is.

However, the tv will remain off,

The board games will stay on the shelves,

You girls are old enough,

And you fully know what's expected of you

When it comes to behavior, okay?

If you choose to be defiant with that discipline,

Then you will end up losing

The things that you have now that you take for granted.

Are we clear on that?

So now we have discipline in place.

However, hailey isn't appreciative,

So I took the whole family to a homeless shelter

So she could see that there are people

That are less fortunate than her and more grateful.

Hello. Jo, how are you? God bless you.

Very well. Yourself? Good. Good.

Nice to meet you. This is the moy family. Hello.

Glad to meet you. Real pleasure, michelle. We're glad to be here.

[Michelle] I feel my children have been a little bit spoiled,

Where they don't think about others,

So I was excited to go down there

And show a different place to them.

[Man] well, guys, can you use some help?

[Woman] sure. You ready? We got--we got--i got

A couple good workers here for ya.

[Michelle and jo speaking indistinctly]

Around the head. Three.

[Squeals]

I don't want to do it. It's yucky.

I was surprised to see that it was camryn

That kicked off and not hailey, but I knew mom was gonna

Put that discipline in place that I taught her.

You are lucky...ew.

To have a home and hot food every day.

This is food provided for people who need it.

This is your last warning. [Growls]

[Jo] when camryn continued to be disrespectful,

Right there and then,

Mom gave her a time-out on a chair.

You sit on this chair.

I will be back in eight minutes,

And I expect an apology,

And I expect a change in your behavior.

Camryn did her time-out,

But she still continued to be disrespectful.

You were placed here because you were being rude...fine.

And disrespectful and disrespecting their food.

I want you to apologize. I said, "fine."

Say, "I'm sorry for being rude and disrespectful."

[Mumbling] I'm sorry for being rude and disrespectful.

Thank you. Now let's go back to the kitchen,

And let's make some salad. Look at me, camryn. I'm talking to you.

No. Don't pull me that face. You look at me.

Now your behavior right now is very spoilt,

And I do not like it.

Stop pulling those faces at me right now.

[Michelle] jo came and stepped in.

She gave camryn the kind of talk

That I wish I would have known how to give her.

Now you need to think about your behavior.

You really do need to think about your behavior.

We are here to help many, many people

Who are in a less fortunate position than yourself.

Now you listen to me.

I want you to get into that kitchen

And be a part of everybody else that selflessly here

Works to help everybody else.

Then let's go. Let's do that.

All those words to camryn sunk in. They really did.

And then she just decided to lighten up,

And she joined in with the rest of us.

[Camryn] right here? Mm-hmm. That's good.

Okay, go ahead. Yeah, there you go.

Wiggle it around a little bit. That's the way.

Good. See? You already knew what to do. Another one?

Look at that cake. Yeah, you like serving the cake.

It was a really rewarding experience

To be working on the food line at the mission.

To see the faces of the little children

That were there,

Who were the same ages as hailey and camryn,

I think, was very eye-opening for them.

Can I just say thank you very much

For giving us the honor

To be able to serve you lunch today?

And I'd just like to say god bless you all

And have a really fantastic day today. Thank you very much.

[Man] thank you. It's given us a wonderful opportunity here

With the moy family.

[Camryn] it felt really good serving food to people

And made me feel grateful for the family I do have.

♪♪♪

[Jo] camryn and hailey are making progress.

I mean, it's not perfect.

However, before I leave, what I do want them to do

Is to complete a task I've given 'em together.

You have two days,

Two days to create a garden on that deck--

Plant pots, herbs, plants, okay?

I want to see a deck

Decorated like an old english garden.

I don't even know what an english garden looks like.

[Jo] and they looked at me like I was mad.

You know, "w-well, we don't know where we're gonna get the stuff.

"I mean, how will we get the pots? We don't know

What colors we want. How are we gonna find the english garden?"

I'm like, "you'll find it." I don't like being around camryn.

I don't like her personality. She be's mean to me.

[Jo] sorry? That's not even correct grammar.

Together, you are creatively going to paint pots

And create a garden on that deck.

♪♪♪

In.

In. Put your hand on top.

Come on. Let's go.

All right. Let's go.

♪♪♪

[Jo] are you ready for me to leave for a few days?

No. No, no, no, no. [Michelle] we'd prefer that you stay,

But I know that we have to try it on our own.

I'm leaving this family for several days,

And I am really looking forward to coming back

And seeing some wonderful progress.

How are we gonna do when I'm gone? We're gonna do great.

[Camryn] awesome. Yeah, exactly. Thumbs up. Exactly.

[Michelle] now that jo is leaving for a few days,

I was nervous about seeing her go,

Because it's so easy to fall back

Into old patterns and old habits.

Bye. Bye. Mm.

Bye, my darlings. Bye-bye.

Mom, give us a hug. Come here. Aah.

Do good. Do good.

Keep your spirits high. Okay.

I'll see you in a few days. Bye-bye.

Bye-bye. Bye. Bye. See you.

♪♪♪

Coming up...

Hailey talks back to mom.

Your attitude is wrong.

You can't make assumptions, 'cause you don't even know.

Right there. That is disrespectful and rude-- no, it's not!

And later, mom hits rock bottom.

I thought I was doing better, but I'm not.

When "supernanny" returns.

♪ Be good, be good ♪

But first, a tip from supernanny.

Want to make car rides more fun?

Then have your kids take out a sketch pad,

So they can draw whatever they see on their travels.

Whether it's a cow or a lighthouse,

A colorful creation is gonna be a welcome break

To that backseat fighting.

♪ Be good, be good ♪

♪ Be good, be good ♪

[Jo] after leaving the moy family for three days,

I was quite excited to see exactly how they

Would have got on without me, you know, whether dad has kept

In contact with the family,

And particularly whether the girls

Have completed their english garden.

All right, let's get straight to this.

Okay.

It says, "hi, sweetie. How are you today?

"I miss you and the chitlins. The italian restaurant

That we ate at last night was fabulous."

"Hi, dad. My day today was fun.

"We went to the, um, people's city mission

"And volunteered to serve food there.

"It was fun. I got to help make a salad

And serve food to the residents."

Daddy! Dad! Dad!

That's dad. Are you on speaker?

[Harding] how is everybody doing today?

Good.good.

[Hailey] no. I'm having four friends come over

And have--join them for a little dinner party.

Oh, cool. Yeah.

Well, w-we better get--get on with our party prep,

And we'll let you get back to work.yep.

All right. Okay. But we're really glad you called.

Bye-bye! I'll be home.

That's absolutely fantastic.mm-hmm.

I mean, you know, dad is away,

And, you know, he's really remained consistent,

And look at the results. Mm-hmm. When he would call home before,

Matthew would run away screaming, saying,

"No, no, no. I don't want to talk to daddy."

And now he can't wait to talk to him, you know?

And he's made a huge effort to send each child their own...yeah.

Individual e-mail, not just write a generic family e-mail. It's true. It's all good.

Yes. We're loving this. It's all good.

Do you remember with the garden?

"I am not doing it. No, no, no."

And I said, "well, that's what we're gonna do." [Laughs]

Let's take a look and see. This pot is yours.

So how's your purple pot coming?

Good.

[Laughing] oops.

Another big chunk.

Well, good morning, good morning and good morning.

It's morning glory, morning glory, morning glory. [Laughs]

[Michelle] this is wonderful, girls. This is so cool.

Give us a hug. Hug, hug.

[Laughing]

But it's wonderful to see them at the table now

And how they're coming together to work as a team.

I mean, they're communicating. They're talking to one another. Right. Right.

Absolutely fantastic, and they really look

Like they was enjoying themselves as well. Yeah.

What we're gonna take a look at here

Is yourself and hailey.

Okay. All right? So let's take a look at that.

I just don't want them to sit by them,

'Cause they don't want to.

It's not my fault if they don't want to.

Hailey, your attitude is wrong.

Mom, you can't make assumptions for my friends,

'Cause you don't even know. Right there. That is disrespectful and rude to me.

No, it's not! I said they're not your friends. [Banging chair]

This is a warning. Stop right now.

I'm not gonna even help you.

Hailey, look at me right now.

I am trying to speak with you...

I don't wanna hear it.

Fairly and understand where you're coming from.

All right. What was wrong with this conversation?

This is just very typical of the way

That hailey and I have fought in the past...mm-hmm.

And just to see it makes me realize that,

You know, I definitely haven't been handling it right.mm-hmm.

You know, even though I was trying,

You know, it still wasn't working. [Sniffles]

Hmm. So it's still mentally this thing of you feeling like

You're, you know, winning or losing, winning or losing,

But it's not really a win or a lose,

'Cause nobody's winning and nobody's losing it. Right.

I mean, it's-- mm-hmm. Right. We both lost right here.

And she gets you like that. Mm-hmm.

Recognize the buttons that are being pushed... Right.

And--and how we can defuse all of that situation. Mm-hmm. Right.

You don't need to engage in this. Okay.

When you do, you make the mountain out of a molehill,

Because you feed into it, and we'll see that

When we're gonna take a look at the next clip here.

I have given you a warning, and you stormed off.

At this point,

You will be going downstairs to the reflection room

To think about how you are speaking

And the tone of voice you are using to me.

Move.

Right now. Up and move.

♪♪♪

You have been placed here...

I know.

Because of--no!

That is why you have been placed here--

Your rudeness and your disrespect.

[Sniffles]

I expect better from you.

Now you will stay here for minutes,

And I will come back, and I expect an apology.

No.

[Crying] I feel like this is what happens all the time,

And I don't know how to change it. [Sniffles]

And I don't-- I thought I was doing better,

But I'm not. [Sniffles]

Let's look at what you have done here

In a very positive way.

You have started to do something here

With regards to discipline.

It's not there yet, but you started.

I walked into a house where you weren't doing it at all.

I don't call a mother a failure

Who recognizes the things that they're not doing.

That's not failure.

That's a mother who's courageous and brave

And recognizing, "hello. I'm not perfect."

There's no perfect mom out there.

There's a mom who does the best that she can.

And we'll work on how we can elevate that level

To a point where you're communicating

A lot better with your girls

And understanding them more,

And I really, especially want to work

With your relationship with hailey,

Because hailey's pushing buttons that make you really mad,

And whilst you're feeling that way,

And you're holding onto that anger,

It's not gonna get better, your relationship with hailey. Mm-hmm.

Okay? Yes.

Give yourself a break. Cut yourself some slack here.

Recognize what we need to work on,

But recognize we're moving forward.

We're not going back. We are moving forward. Right.

We are moving forward.

We'd better start, right?

Okay.

Coming up...

Jo makes mom admit what scares her as a mother.

I know some of the things to be a better mother

Are gonna be scary to face.

And mom gets a message from hailey

That could change her life forever.

When "supernanny" returns.

♪ Be good, be good ♪

♪♪♪

[Jo] when I watched the dvd,

I noticed that mom and hailey were still in a pickle

With regards to their relationship,

So I took them to a place that was very quiet,

Where mom would realize that there would be key words

That she would need to remember in order to stay

Emotionally connected to her daughter.

What we are gonna be doing this afternoon--

Climbing up this, okay?

When we reach certain points, you're gonna find

That there are envelopes for you to open,

Will have a very strong message in them with regards

To how you guys build on your relationship together.

[Sniffling]

Mom, why are you sad?

Because looking at it, it looks scary,

And I know some of the things

That I need to change about myself

To be a better mother are gonna be scary to face

And scary to do,

But I am willing to do them,

And I really wanna improve our relationship.

My mom doesn't show anything that she likes me at all

And that she's that interested

In, like, making an effort to communicate with me.

You gotta hold that, okay?

Mom's gotta collect that one from you. Aah.

[Jo] the first message I gave michelle

Was to trust her own instincts, because in doing that,

She would become a more confident parent.

"Trust yourself to deliver."

♪♪♪

"Work on your trust with hailey."

[Hailey] I think this is the first step for her--my mom

Reaching out and wanting to communicate with me,

'Cause it looked like she really made an effort to try to.

Mom's climbing this tower and really recognizing

All the things that she personally needs to do

So that she can get closer to hailey emotionally,

So this is a good stepping-stone

In order to get that relationship

That she wants with her own daughter.

♪♪♪

And in the final envelope, I spelled out

Exactly what hailey wants most from her mom.

Here you go.

[Voice breaks] "love me."

[Sniffles]

♪♪♪

[Michelle] I knew things needed to be different,

And I didn't know how to do that on our own,

And I was willing to go

Through this very humbling, hard experience,

Uh, because I wanted to change things

And I wanted to change it for them.

[Hailey] yeah, my mom is really trying to reach out to me

And she's really showing she loves me a lot,

So I think I'm gonna try to communicate with her,

To try to connect with her,

Be closer to her.

Cool! How cool! [Laughing]

Oh. [Laughs]

That was cool.

♪♪♪

Before I left, there was one thing

I did need to check on, though, and that was to see

Exactly how well hailey and camryn had worked

Putting their english garden together.

Now open your eyes. Ta-da!

[Jo gasps] it looks fabulous.

And when I went outside,

I just saw all these beautiful plant parts

That they had decorated and designed.

Look how beautiful it looks.

I love it. Is this your centerpiece? Mm-hmm.

And your hanging basket. Actually, it looks really nice--

The colors that you've chose up against this gray.

It was amazing to see how excited hailey and camryn were

To show jo the garden they had created.

It looks very, very pretty. Where's the camera?

Come here. Oh, you girls!

Me and hailey got along really good

While we were making the english garden.

I feel like I'm compromising with camryn more

And learning to work with her better.

One, two, three...

[Camera shutter clicks]

Seeing hailey and camryn work on their relationship

And mend it more

Is gonna be the thing that matters the most to me.

My garden is looking more beautiful every day.

And shinier.

Yes, especially when you guys smile. [Laughs]

♪♪♪

[Jo] the moy family,

Even though dad is still away on business,

Have become more emotionally connected,

And that's because two parents were willing

To commit in making that change, and that's what counts.

So listen, all of you. Take care.

Keep up with the e-mails. Have fun with the webcam.

Remember, keep making some smart choices,

And, mom, own it.

I have already begun to see in our family as a whole

A feeling of closeness.

I am communicating better with my husband.

Hailey and camryn are more willing to work together.

Give me a hug. Give me a big hug. Ohh.

Thank you so much, jo.

You really helped our family cooperate more

And not be so angry and out of control.

I wish you didn't have to go.

Take care of yourself, all right? Keep e-mailing.

Cammie, give us a hug, darling. [Moans]

Now that jo's been here, dad's been calling a lot.

My mom is yelling less.

Bye, jo, and thanks for helping with our family.

I want to see pictures of that garden when it's blooming.

Bye, matthew. You take care.

And, mom, give me a big hug. Thank you so much.

Take care of yourself, okay?

I thank jo for giving my wife and I the tools,

The techniques to address our parenting issues.

I am looking forward to coming home.

Bye-bye.

Bye-bye. [Hailey] bye.

Bye-bye.

The thing I would like to say to jo

Is that I can't thank her enough

For working with our family.

♪♪♪

Come on out of the closet, buddy. [Matthew] no!

Don't you want to go finish building your car? No!

[Crying]

♪♪♪

I want you to come down and tell camryn you're sorry.

[Crying] no!

I want time-out.

You want a time-out?

Uh-huh.

Okay, you can have a time-out.

Now careful. I don't want you to pinch your fingers. [Continues crying]

Okay, you want a time-out, you can have a time-out.