05x20 - The Porter Family

[bunniefuu]

[Screams] now.

Tonight on "supernanny"... Get off!

Jo returns to the u.k. On a mission

To save a family on the brink.

I do what I want to do.

The porter family are being held to ransom

By their -year-old daughter.

I could bite you!

I can get out, you know.no, she can't.

She doesn't have the right to get out

Because she's misbehaved.

Princess maddison rules with a heavy hand...

[Screams] get off!

With both parents treading on eggshells. No!

That's really hurting me.no.

Can supernanny restore order,

Or is this one battle of the wills

That can't be won?

Trust me, maddy, I am not joking.

Get off!

♪♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪♪

Well, I'm here in the countryside,

Somerset in great britain.

Let's take a look at the family that needs my help this week.

My name is merrill porter,

My wife hayley

And my daughter maddison and, uh, son harry.

[Plays few notes]

The issues basically are

Maddison just wants to control this house.

[Crying] mads, listen to me.

No, no, no.listen to me. Just listen.

You are years old.

Every single day is a battle.

No matter what we do, no matter where we go,

It is a constant battle.

I want you in that shower.

Now stop it.

Look at this girl.

She's having temper tantrums like a year old.

I do what I want to do.

She will scream, she will bang,

Kick her legs. [Screaming]

She will kick me. No.

She grabs hold of me.

It can go on for minutes. It can go on for hours.

She just flips.

Stop doing that to me. No!

That's really hurting me. No.

It's like this mother's frightened of her own daughter.

Just say no!

No, harry. No!

Harry sees maddison winning,

Getting the--getting her own way at the end of all of it.

No, harry, don't do that. Don't.

And he's thinking, well, i-i'll try a bit of that.

[Squeals]

Stop it. I just want a ball.

What's going on here?

I've been really, really completely overprotective.

I lost a little boy.

Jake had a very bad heart condition,

And I think when I had maddison,

I didn't think I was ever gonna have her.

The doctor had said that hayley would never--

Would never have children again,

And then we had maddy, you know,

So it--it's--she's like a miracle, really.

[Hayley] I was just over the moon.

I cocooned her.

I just did, and I thought I was doing the right thing,

And I thought all the things that I did for her,

I was--i did-- I am doing the right thing,

But I'm suffering now.

[Laughs] ow.

The way the children behave affects me and hayley a lot

Because we argue with the children.

Then we argue with each other. Then, you know, it can erupt,

Where we'll all be--we're all just shouting at each other.

Get off!

[Merrill] this is the last chance for us, really,

Yes, it is, 'cause we--we need the help.

You guys need some serious help,

But hold on because I'm on my way.

♪♪♪♪♪

[Doorbell rings]

Hi there. Okay. Hello. Hi.

Hi.pleased to meet you. Jo frost.

How are you? Merrill.hi, merrill.

Hi. Pleased to meet you. Can I come in?yeah, come in, yes.

Hi. Pleased to meet you.hi.

Hi, maddison. Pleased to meet you.

I'm jo. And who's this?harry.

Hi, harry, pleased to meet you. I'm jo. How are you doing?

It's really important for me to be able to just

Really watch you guys as you normally would be, all right?

No sooner had I arrived,

It was the family's lunchtime,

And you could see mom pandering around maddy.

Right now. Maddy?

I've just gone in to see them,

And there's mom cutting up maddison's kiev

Into little pieces for her,

And there's harry struggling to cut his.

It's like she's the princess.

There you go. Thanks, mom.

Do you want to come in and play, darling?

[Jo] after lunch, maddy had a little friend of hers

Around to play.

I'm happy to see that she's not dominating

The company and such.

They're getting on playing and singing

And--and doing what -year-old girls do,

So that's good.

The kids were playing upstairs having a lot of fun.

I could see mom winding herself up.

She got really scared.

I've seen you walk up the stairs,

And your face looks like you've seen a ghost.

Are you panicked? Yeah.

What's this, all this? What's this--

Because she starts her antics

When--when her friends have got to go, she starts.she starts to what?

She just starts say--saying, "mommy, why now?

Mommy, oh, please, five more minutes."

Hayley, you have to go home now, my darling.

Say, see you in a bit. It's a short time.

No, no.and--

No!stop it!

I do. I don't want you to hurt yourself.

Get out!

Well, because I've asked mad--hayley to go home.

Because--because mommy--

No, I'm not horrible.

No, I'm not.

After maddy had quieted down,

I wanted just to talk to her about her temper tantrums.

She uses her tantrums

So that she can get her own way.

Yeah?

Why does she cry?

Yeah.

Right. Is that right or wrong?

It's right to hit her and to thump?

I know from talking to maddy

That she knows the difference between right and wrong,

But there is this hostility between her and her mother,

And I want to find out where that's come from.

So tell me about the things that you do for yourself,

'Cause, like, you're years old, you know.

You're a big girl.

What kind of things do you do for yourself?

But you just need mommy to brush it.

Okay, what about your clothes?

You don't pick your own clothes.

What about washing and things like that?

Right.

Hmm, very interesting talking to maddison

Because what's come out of my conversation

Is that she really doesn't feel like she has much choice

In the matter of being able to express herself.

There's a constant daily suppression

Of not being able to feel

Like she has any independence of choice.

It has led her to have these explosions,

These outbursts when she gets so angry.

Coming up on "supernanny,"

Prince harry is heir to maddison's evil throne...

[Merrill] put it on, now!

And what jo has to say is shocking...

I mean, I'm sitting here talking to mary shelley.

You've already created frankenstein. Let's face it.

When "supernanny" returns.

[Jo] I'm back in the u.k. Helping the porter family,

And mom needs to round up the kids

To get them into the car to go off shopping.

Put your shoes on. Well, you have to go.

We're only gonna be a few minutes.

Harry, put your shoes on, please.

Put your shoes on, harry. Put it on now.

All right, get over there.

I've had enough of your nonsense, all right?

We are going shopping, so get yourself in--out the front door

And get yourself into the car.

I realize, hello,

It's not just the kids that are losing their tempers here.

These parents have got nasty tempers on themselves, as well.

[Hayley] harry, move!

We are going shopping for a few items.

[Merrill] get back in that seat, put your seat belt on,

Or when you get home, you're going straight to your bedroom.

Got it? Now!

I said, all right!

I got the tool. Put it on, now!

Now! Put it on!

I can't believe they're arguing with a year old.

You keep that belt on like that.

Got it?

The kids only respond

To when they're being shouted at through gritted teeth--

"You behave yourself," you know.

Their eyes are really like this.

I mean, you know, that they're angry,

And that leads to parents not feeling good about themselves.

[Harry] I did not!

So eventually, mom did get to the supermarket,

And she came back,

And later on, it was time to get the kids ready for bedtime.

But maddy didn't want to take a shower,

And that caused problems.

Just jump in the shower.

Come on. Come and have a nice shower.

Then you can sit on the settee.

I'm gonna make you a nice cup of tea. P?

Come on, have a good girl.

As a last resort, what mom did

Was offer her pence

To wash herself,

Which is around cents.

I can't believe that she's negotiating

About doing something that's a life skill.

I mean, that's like paying somebody to go and take a wee.

Are you kidding me?

What I'm going to do is to leave you guys

Because I know you're gonna be doing stories and everything...okay.

Puttin' this one to bed.yeah.

Get a good night's sleep, because tomorrow,

We've got a big family meeting.all right.

Okay. Okay.

Time to talk. Okay.

I'll see tomorrow. See you tomorrow. Thank you.

Okay, bye-bye. Thank you then.

Bye-bye.

Well, this family certainly need a talking-to,

That's for sure.

There's lots of things that do need to be resolved.

[Exhales] I just hope they're ready for a conversation.

[Pigeon coos]

Maddy rules roost,

When she wants, however she wants

And for how long she wants.

Maddy needs to be put back in her place.she does, jo.

She does, yeah.the behavior's got to stop.

I mean, it has got to stop.

It's not okay for your kids to hit you.

It's not okay for them to slap you.

The relationships are broke down.

Because it's--we've let it get so far

That if we tried to, uh, turn it around sort of thing,

We--it--it's more of a thing of trying--afraid to turn it--

Try to turn it around ourselves.

Can you actually hear what you're saying?

Yeah, we know the problems.

But listen to the operative words you're using.

I'm fearful... Yeah.

To turn it around. Yeah.

We don't want to turn it around.

Who do you think's gonna turn it around? You're her parents.

What do you think, the neighbor down the road's gonna do it?

I mean, I'm sitting here talking to mary shelley.

You've already created frankenstein. Let's face it.

You know, children are not like a bottle of red wine,

You don't stick it on a shelf and go,

"Oh, I'll just wait a couple of years, and it might mature."No.

If she can't rely on you two,

Who she-- can she rely on?

That's your job. Mm-hmm.

[Clears throat]that's your responsibility as parents,

But you walk on eggshells with her,

And harry gets pushed to the side.yeah.

Harry's sitting there begging someone to take control.

Yeah.whine if my parents do something,

Because I can't do nothing.

He's deeply affected by the environment that's hostile.

Yeah, he is.

It affects him. He s-- he soaks it up like a sponge.

Yeah, absolutely.

Your relationship, hayley, with maddy...yeah.

I don't doubt that you love her very much...yeah.

And that she loves you very much.yeah.

However, you do have her

Minute acting like a year old,

And the next minute, you're treating her like a baby.yeah.

There's so many things that you do for her

That you don't allow her to do for herself.

You were cutting up her food like you do for a toddler.

Why? I think--

Why?i think possibly, um, when I lost my son--

I lost a little boy,

And when i--and when I went on to have maddison,

I think I just did--

I just--it just--i just did a natural thing.

I just thought it was-- I just did it all.

I just do it all for her,

And I think that's probably why.

You've got to find peace with that.

You have to lay things... Yeah.

Down to rest. Yeah.

When the impact of that affects so much...yeah.

And the jeopardy of that is--is so high.

Yeah.

You can't wrap kids up in-- in cotton and wool /.

You'll stop them from growing,

From learning life experiences.

I know. Listen, I know.

That's what--i know it's what I've done. I know.

I can give you the tools that's necessary

To resolve the situation,

But I can't do that alone

Because it takes two willing parents.

Yeah, jo, we need this,

And we will do it, and we will continue it,

Because this house ain't gonna be like this anymore.

So I so happen to have some spare time on my hands,

If you would like my help.

I'm here,

And if you're up for it, we need to get started now.

We're up for it. All right, let's go.

Coming up on "supernanny,"

Maddy's tantrum spirals out of control.

[Screams]

Can jo put a stop to this raging year old

Before it's too late?

Trust me, maddy,

I am not joking.

When "supernanny" returns.

Okay.

All right.

"Measure of maddison."

The reason I've brought this in as your first technique

Is because we don't have a measure of maddison.

You've been treating her like a baby.

You've not been giving her any responsibilities.

You've not given her the trust to believe that she can deliver,

Because what it does take is for you guys

To recognize, what is she capable of being able to do

As a year old? Mm-hmm.

What should I be giving way on?

What should I be tightening up the reigns on?

What can she do? What can't she do?mm-hmm.

Has she been dressing herself?no.

All right, let's put a cross.

Cleaning her teeth? No.

Washing herself every day?

No, because I've washed her face before.

Okay, putting dirty laundry in basket?no.

Help set or clear the table?no.

Help load, unload dishwasher?no.

Make her bed? No.

So when it comes to responsibilities...

She hasn't got any, has she?she ain't got any.

Whilst you are suppressing her

Of what she is capable of doing

As a -year-old little girl...yeah.

You are feeding into a cycle

That's creating the hostility between you and her.yeah.

Okay? Yeah.

It's a real negative cycle.

What I want to see throughout the process of working with you

Is this changing. Yeah.

Give her that little bit of independence.

Make her know that you trust her to be able to do

What she knows she's capable of doing, okay?

So that we grow some maturity here, as well.yeah.

All right? Yeah.

Once mom and dad understood what this was all about,

I brought maddy in so she could take a look.

These are the things that are gonna slowly change, all right?

'Cause they're all the things that you should be doing

As a year old, 'cause you're old enough,

And you're capable of being able to do it,

'Cause I bet sometimes you felt like you were years old,

Haven't you?

Do you think mom and dad-- what do mom and dad--

Do they treat you like you're younger sometimes?yeah.

Yeah, and how does that make you feel?

Yeah, you get angry.

Now maddy feels more independent,

What I want to do is create a situation

That make these kids feel that their parents trust them.

So I'm gonna send 'em off to play.

So this is what we've got here--

Two watches.

You're gonna be trusted to come home

At the time that you are asked to come home.

If you're not back in time,

And you don't come home on time

When you're asked,

Then you won't be allowed to go back out and play.

Maddison, this is your watch, as well.

I say if you guys want to go out and play,

You can, but I'd like you back

At :.

Okay.[Rubbing hands together] better skedaddle then.

[Hayley] that's fab.

Spin around, touch ground!

And up again!

Now when they do come back at that time,

You know, give 'em praise, say to them, you know, "well done."

Hey, guys!

Got any gum?

♪♪♪♪♪

Well done, you're one minute early. Well done!

[Merrill] you're one minute early. Well done.well done!

Yeah.do you know what? We trusted you when you came in.

Yeah.and you've done it, didn't you? Say?

Well done!

That's fab, isn't it? Well done, darlin'.

Everything just went together, as well.

Where's harry? Is harry here?

Now it's :! Where's harry?

Now it's :. Well done.yeah, well done.

Good day. Well done, darlin'.

It's : now. Ohh.

You--but you--

That was good. At least you come back, all right.

Right, well done. Good boy.

Well done. We trusted you...

You-- and you did it.

A little bit of trust goes a long, long way,

And the kids are just beaming,

And it goes to show that there's not been many opportunities

That mom and dad have really felt

That they've been able to connect with the kids

And give 'em hugs and kisses and tell 'em, "well done,"

And that is just a dose of seriously good medicine

For these kids.

Now playtime's over, what's going to be important

Is reinforcing discipline.

What I have seen

From both yourself, harry, and yourself, maddison,

Is the way that you are choosing to behave

With mom and dad, and that I'm not happy with.

[Jo] harry's , maddy's years old,

The naughty step would be a little bit patronizing

For them, so I am going to give 'em a reflection room,

So they can sit and think in there.

And they're to sit in there and do their time--

One minute per year of your age--

And think about why they've been placed in there.

Okay, reflection room.

Mom and dad will place you in here.

They'll put you in this room.

It's not a room that you can just walk out.

They have to come and get you.

Right now.

Yeah, and you understand, don't you then,

What's now going to happen, yeah?

Mom, what you doin'?

Mom![Jo] and, of course, as expected,

Maddison started to back-talk her parents.

Mom!do not talk to me like that...

I'll talk to you the way I want to talk to you.

Because if you do talk to me like that,

I'll talk to you the way I want to talk to you.

Then you will go into the reflection room, maddison.

I'll talk to you the way I want.no. No.

I'll talk the way I want to talk to you.

No, well, in that case, then you can go in--

Yes, I will! Yes, I will!

Don't.

I'm playing with them!

You're gonna go in the reflection room, maddy.

No! No!

Hey, get off. [Jo] maddy's years old,

And her behavior is appalling.

[Screams] get off!

This is why...

You need to go in there...no!

Now.

No!sit down and do your time...

No!

You're pushin' me. Get off!

[Speaking indistinctly]

She's in the room. She's in the room.

Leave her in the room.

I can get out, you know.no, she can't.

She doesn't have the right to get out...

No.because she's misbehaved.

So take her by the arm and back into the room,

And she'll do as she's told.

[Screaming]

[Jo] this is the first time that these parents

Are going to follow through when it comes to discipline,

And they've got a fight on their hands

Because maddison is not going to give up easily.

[Crying]

She just runs straight out, darted up the stairs.

Maddison. [Maddison] mm-hmm.

I'm gonna count to three.

If the door is not open

By the time I count to three,

I will be coming into the bathroom.

I will be taking you into your bedroom,

And you will be staying there for the night.

Trust me, maddy,

I am not joking.

One...

Two...

Three.

Come here, please.

Look at me.

Look at me.

Sit down.

The fact that you think it's okay

To hit your parents is beyond me.

It's not acceptable at all

To hit anybody.

I'm really not happy with your behavior

Because I know how you can behave.

You are going to have to accept

That when mom and dad say no, no is no,

And I don't care

How angry you get,

How much you scream.

It's not going to change the answer.

If it's no, it's no. No is final.

There's no persuasion.

Do you hear what I'm saying?

Look at me, please. I'm being serious.

Now your mother and father asked you

To go in the reflection room.

I'd like you to take yourself downstairs.

I want you to go straight into the reflection room,

And you'll do your nine minutes.

Do you understand what I'm saying?yes.

Then take yourself downstairs,

And you go and do your time-out.

[Jo] from beginning to end, it was around minutes

Before young maddison sat in that reflection room

And did her time-out.

She'd done her nine minutes,

And what was more important than ever

Was that mom actually get her apology from her daughter

About her behavior.

[Hayley] what do you have to say to me, maddison?

Sorry.

Right.[Sighs]

Now for a kiss and a cuddle.

Come here.

What mom and dad are doing

Is making sure they have discipline and rules in place.

However, maddy is finding that hard

To come to terms with.

I think we're on-- we're on quite the beginning

Of the path, and I think, yeah,

I think eventually, after a lot of hard work,

We will reach that happy home.

Coming up on "supernanny"...get out.

She's--she's a big girl. She can wash her hair.

She can wash herself. I know she--

Go on, get on with it, missy, we'll see you after.

Smothering mom is busted at shower time... [Crying]

And maddy goes into overdrive. No!

When "supernanny" returns.

[Jo] maddison--to take a shower by herself,

There's been this power struggle for the longest of times

Between her and her mother.

Come on, come and have a nice shower.

P?

Mom trying to coax and bribe,

Mom washing maddison.

Today, it is going to stop.

If you don't do what I ask you to do,

You will not be going out tomorrow.

No.

No, no, you--

No, you can't--excuse me, excuse me, are we negotiating here?

No. Now harry.

No, no, we're not negotiating.

So will you just calmly tell her what you've already stated.

If you don't--if you don't do what I have asked you to do

And come and have a nice shower,

Then you won't be going out with your friends tomorrow.

No, I did listen.

Yes, you did. Yes, you did. You did listen.

No, she's talking to you. Yes, you did listen.

I did listen. And the answer to that is no.

I did listen, and the answer to that is no.

Then you won't be going out tomorrow.

Pardon?

That's her choice. Let her make her mind up.

Yeah, your choice. Okay, I will, I will.i will!

Well, so come on then.

Mom, she's actually capable of doing her own showers.

Yeah, well, she is. That's her responsibility, you know.

She can do her shower herself.

Two things needed to be achieved here--

One, maddy taking a shower by herself,

And two, mom leaving her alone,

So that she can get on and do it.

You're gonna be the big girl now,

And you're gonna do these things all for yourself,

Okay?bye. Put the kettle on then.

Yeah. I'm gonna--yeah.

Bye.

[Jo] I sent mom away so that maddy could take a shower,

And then I see mom

Walking up towards the bathroom door.

Maddy? [Speaks indistinctly]

What was that? Here you go, little flower.

Put the light on a minute first then.

[Knocks on door]

What are you doing in there? What--what's all this again?

I came in because-- to give her that.get out.

She--she's a big girl. She can wash her hair.

She can wash herself. I know she--

Go on, get on with it, missy. We'll see you after.

Ten minutes later,

Maddison comes out of the bathroom fully washed.

I mean, what does it show mom?

She's more than capable of doing it herself!

To have her just go up in the shower

With no problems at all

Is just fab, and I think jo's given me

A good kick-- kick in the backside.

♪♪♪♪♪

Look at this.

Very impressive, hmm?

So you've done all this this morning?

Excellent.

Mom would always pick out maddison's clothes,

And maddison's more than capable of choosing her own clothes.

She wants to choose her own clothes.

You don't pick your own clothes?

I've got this plan so that mom can realize

That maddy's more than capable of making her own decisions.

You two are gonna go shopping...uh-huh.

And go out and pick a top,

And we are gonna work on compromising

Having different points of view,

Different tastes,

Because we're gonna go on a girlie trip.

Now look at that, though. Mads, look.

They are so nice.

Look at the nice little detail at the back.

I like this.

Take her once around, right,

And tell her what girls your age are into.

Oh, that's really nice. Is this lace?

[Hayley] mads, that is lovely.

Let's go and try it on, quick. Let's go and try it on.

[Laughs]

She is growing up,

And she has to have her own

P--opinions and her own, um, her own independence

To a point of what she likes and what she doesn't like,

And she needs that to be able to grow,

And I need to do that, really, don't i?

I need to do that.

Ta-da! What do you think of it?

Lovely.there we go. Thank you very much.

Do you want to carry that then?

[Jo] it was a very mature outing,

And mom has certainly realized that it's very rewarding

Allowing her -year-old daughter

To express herself in her own independent way.

The girls got home from having a good day out shopping,

And as they sat down to have dinner, maddy kicked off

Because she wasn't allowed to answer the door.

[Merrill] no, maddison's not coming out, or harry, okay?

No, you're not speaking.

I don't care, maddison.

Sit right there at the table, maddy.we've gotta say--

I asked you to sit down...yes, but it--

While I answered the door.

[Crying]

She just wants her own way all the time,

And this is what she does.

She hollers the nastiest tantrums.

That's why it's so important for you just to follow through

With your composure and keeping calm.

Maddy has done well,

But before I leave, I do want to be able to sit down

And talk to her about her temper tantrums

And the changes that the whole family are making.

And everything that is being done in this house

Is because your mommy and daddy do love you and care about you,

And they want the best for you,

And that's why it's been changed...

So that you grow up

To be a very sensible young lady.

So even if it doesn't seem good at the time

And you don't like it and you get angry,

It's there in place, so you do your bit.

You do your bit, okay, so that they can do their bit.

I'm leaving for a few weeks.

When I'm gone, maddy's gonna test both her parents,

So I just hope that they're strong enough to follow through

And do all they've been taught.

Yeah? Okay.

"Miss daisy," give me a big hug.

Okay. Oh, put you back down.

I'll see you when I get back.yeah, thank you.

Remember everything.

Bye, jo.bye, take care. Bye-bye.

Thank you.bye, darling. Bye, maddison.

[Maddison] bye. Say bye.

Are they a little bit nervous?

Yeah, they probably are, to say the least.

I mean, maddy's outbursts are no walk in the park.

The real test is gonna be

How these parents are gonna handle maddy's behavior.

I just hope they continue to put everything in place,

Because there's no reason why they can't come through this,

But it's a slow process.

Coming up on "supernanny,"

With jo gone,

These parents are pushed to the breaking point.

But can they keep it together,

Or will things go horribly wrong?

[Screaming]

When "supernanny" returns.

I'm back in the u.k. Helping the porter family.

It's been three weeks since I've been there,

So I am very curious to see exactly how much

Has been resolved whilst I've been away.

All right, so let's take a look,

So we can learn some more.

♪♪♪♪♪

[Hayley] do you feel nice and clean?

Loving this.

It just clearly shows that they're more than capable

Of doing these responsibilities, and you've allowed them

To do that, taking a bit of pride in their own rooms,

And I just think that you guys moving on

To allowing them to do some of those things

And not expecting it to beyour perfect...yeah.

Is showing them that it's okay.yeah.

It's okay for them to do things their way.yeah. Yeah, definitely.

Show me. Show me.

Whose phone? My phone.

Okay, and she has it for what reason?

'Cause she wants to text.

I can't sit and show you

While I'm actually driving the car, love.

Show me.

Okay, how far away are we from home?

Oh, a few minutes.a few minutes. [Snaps fingers] straight in the bud.

I'd have nipped that straight in the bud.

Okay.you have a choice to give me my phone right now.

Otherwise, we're driving back,

And we're not actually going anywhere.

Can I have my phone, please?okay.

♪♪♪♪♪

Mom, where are you going?

Mom, where are you going?

Absolutely no chance.

I really wanted to do it. How dare you?

How dare you do that to me,

When I said to you I have-- I cannot show you

To do that phone when I'm driving?

Your brain should have said to you,

"Yeah, mommy can't show me now

Because she's driving the car."Let me out!

Nothing works with you. Yes, it will.

Nothing. I want-- I want to do it.

[Screaming]

[Sniffles]

[Sighs]

All right, so you got out of the car.

You got out of the car to calm down,

Which is a good thing.

Going back, you could have gone back in calm and gone,

"Look, this is what I need.

"I need your behavior calmed down,

And I need the confidence, okay?"

You would have given her then--even though

You didn't give it to her two minutes into the journey--

A pit stop to actually reflect about the behavior

And make a choice, okay?all right.

Let's see what happens when you get home.

[Crying] what are you doing?

Mommy, get off!

Get out of here.

[Screams]

By this time, we're absolutelyfuming.

What I see with you and maddy

Is--is this power struggle.

You're both trying to gain

This power and control,

But actually, you have the authority already.

Yeah.like, it-- it's yours already.

So if you're to come in and she's still mad,

And you turn around and you say to her, "please go away."

"When you have calmed down,

"Then you and I can have a conversation.

"But right now, I do not want to have a conversation with you

Right now, because I am feeling very angry."

Let's take a look and see how bedtime went.

I've got teeth, you know! I could bite you!

[Shouting]

Get off of me.

No! Turn on the light.

You're not gonna get any bedtime situation that's gonna be great

When you've got so much confrontation

Going on during the night.uh-huh.

What do you think you're gonna do?

[Crying]

Get off!

[Crying]

Sometimes it can't happen like that. She is too--

Down there [bleep] a half-hour.

[Maddison screams]

The biggest thing that I see here

Is that you get frustrated with one another,

And there's still, like, the breakdown there

In you guys talking to one another, all right?

I would like to see more togetherness

With regards to how you guys are gonna support one another.

The more you can talk to each other

And support each other, the more it'd be easier

To feel like you both are on the same page

Going through whatever you're doing at the time.

Right now, you're making choices that create confrontation...yeah.

But if you don't want confrontation from your kids,

Then you've gotta learn

To stop being confrontational yourself.yeah.

Make sense? Yep.

Well, it does, doesn't it?

So get the kids, and we'll continue.okay.

Coming up on "supernanny,"

Jo has one more chance

To get these parents to work together,

But maddy isn't going down

Without a fight,

When "supernanny" returns.

Watching the dvd, I'm noticing that mom and dad

Are still blowing very quickly with their tempers,

And it's going to be important to teach both mom and dad

How to have more composure.

Now we're gonna take a look at anger.

[Hayley] yeah.all right, because at the end of the day,

That's what we're dealing with here.

[Merrill] that's the source of the problem.

It is just like--it's like heart-wrenching, really...

Yeah.to think that, bloody hell, I've behaved like that?

You know what I mean?[Jo] I've noticed that there are many different issues

That make mom and dad angry,

And I think it's important for them to identify that,

So that together, they can work on reducing that.

"Stop," "think" and then "change."

Change it.if one of you has lost it,

Then it is up to the other person to turn around and say,

Right now, you're losing your temper.

You're not helping us.

This is destructive.

It is about being on the same page.yeah.

It is about talking, and it is about listening.yeah.

So the more you guys

Can stop, listen to each other

And then have your piece with one another,

Then what you are clearly showing

Is a wonderful example how two people can have a debate

And discussion without it going to the point

Where you're slamming doors, cussing at one another

And walking off.

Does that makes sense?yeah, it does. Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah, it does. It does.

[Makes kissing sound] good night, darling.

[Jo] it's bedtime.

They've told maddison that she needs to be in bed.

Now they're really gonna be tested

To see if they can pull together

And keep very calm and composed in following through.

You're not gonna go up there

Because that's what she wants.[Crying]

If you choose to keep going back upstairs, back upstairs,

Back upstairs on command,

Then you're just allowing her to control you.

It's really pretty awful.

Why?because she's up there, and she's crying, and...

So what keeps her strong?

We can't go on like this,

And that's what's making me sit here right now.

[Crying]

She's just resisting change.

She wants you to lose it with her.

With mom and dad learning to have more control

Over their tempers,

Maddison realized she couldn't wind 'em up.

When you call on demand and expect mom and dad

To be there, that's not gonna happen.

You hear what I'm saying, mads? Hmm?

It's as simple as that, darling.

Like, do you feel-- do you feel, like, sorry

For behaving that way? Yeah?

Okay. Mm-hmm.

Good night, darling.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Good night.

These parents have stuck to their g*ns.

They worked together, they stayed composed,

And maddy went off to bed.

So it's night-night for me, as well,

And it's time for me to leave the porter family.

There's no shortcuts, there's no quick fix.

It's absorbing all the information

And then being proactive in doing that, okay?

And keep communicating with one another, all right?

Take care. Thank you, jo.

You're welcome.[Hayley] life was pretty bad before,

But now we've been taught

How to get it back on the right track.

I was failing as a parent most definitely,

But now I don't feel like I'm failing at all,

And I just feel that we're moving along really nicely.

Take care now.bye, jo, thanks a lot.

Thank you. Good-bye.

So they're on their way, they're on their way,

And that's a good thing, you know, and I just hope

That this family continue to put in their hard work

Because there's no reason-- there's no reason

Why we can't see a family that are far more content.