06x01 - The Colier Family

[bunniefuu]

Tonight on "supernanny," it's the coliers' last chance.

[Man] carry on like you're a moron. Do it.

Make the noises like you were making...

[Mumbling indistinctly]

They're a blended family on the brink of falling apart.

Well, you needed help. You asked me to come over.

Well, I figured-- I figured it out.

These bitter parents sleep in separate beds.

After arguing all day about how to raise the kids,

We're--definitely don't want to see each other at night.

Dad and stepdaughter are at w*r.

Where do you think that's coming from?

Because he loves them more.

In one of jo's toughest cases ever,

Cold, hard truths are revealed.

You certainly don't act like a couple

Who love one another. Or like.

Can drastic measures bring peace?

Can we stop the cart, please?

Or is this family ruined forever?

How come you can't even reach out and hug your daughter?

You can't even kiss your daughter hello.

Why can't you do that?

♪♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪♪

[Horse whinnies]

We're taking a nice country drive in cleveland, georgia,

Ready to look at a family

Who desperately need my help.

Hi, we are the coliers. I'm jason.

And I'm dawn, and we have four children.

Aah!

[Jason] madison is . Chase, .

Nathaniel is ,

And blake is .

I'm a homemaker. Come here, nathaniel.

I am an anesthetist,

And with respect to raising the children,

I think we disagree on most issues.

Okay, you have to be willing to change, dawn. [Boy cries]

And that means you have to be honest, which you're not.

I want you to do--do your math,

And then I want you to help her.

[Dawn] madison is my daughter from a previous marriage.

[Jason] I legally adopted madison last year.

Even though he's adopted her,

She doesn't call him dad. She calls him jason.

If you talk back, you're going to your room. That's my fork.

Jason does not feel like a dad to me.

With respect to madison's behavior,

There are a lot of big, big problems.

[Jason] open your eyes now. [Whines] no!

Lately, I've been using this to film the chaos

Just because I've gotten so tired.

[Whines]

I mean, what's this?

The moviemaker? This is ridiculous.

How come you don't carry on like I have recorded? Huh?

Yeah, 'cause I don't go around videotaping him

And say, you know, I'm gonna show this to somebody.

[Jason] carry on like you're a moron. Do it.

Make the noises like you were making...

[Mumbling indistinctly]

This is why you need help,

'Cause I'm tired of the--being two-faced.

Oh, this must be so painful.

She's my daughter, and I think a lot of times,

I don't understand why he can't just,

You know, love her. People do study on the weekends.

Every day is the same,

From the lying, the cheating, the issues at school.

Well, you know how to do it, but you got it wrong.

She says she doesn't have homework

When, in fact, she does. What happens if she doesn't pass?

Let's ask jason how many things he did wrong as a-a teenager.

Between this dad and his daughter,

I need to do something to get these guys

At least talking.

It's okay.

[Laughs] I got you!

Oh, well, that's nice-- hugs and kisses for the boys.

What about giving her affection?

[Dawn] chase has a lot of rage and can hit.

I have a difficult time with nathaniel because...

You're not listening!

Jason babies him. Oh, look at the baby.

[Speaking indistinctly] blake is kind of at a copycat age.

Chase should be getting on his own clothes and...

Stand up here and brush your teeth.

I think the boys should be able to brush their teeth and...

Come on, we do this all the time. Wipe their o-own tushie.

All you do is hold it-- no!

Hold it like this... Blah.

You want to try? No.

Yes. With the wiping, I'd rather them be--be clean

Than, um, itch all day.

They don't get themselves dressed,

They don't brush their teeth,

They don't wipe their own bottom.

I mean, they need to move on, these boys.

We don't need two of us doing this. I mean, I was--

Well, you needed help. You asked me to come over. Well, I figured--

All this has put such a huge strain on our relationship.

By the way, they didn't like the comment that, you know,

If this didn't work at "supernanny"

That you were maybe gonna be on "the bachelor" show. [Cries]

The intimacy is gone, the--the friendship is gone.

Supernanny, this is the coliers' last-ditch effort

To get some help.

Stop. You need to behave.

If this doesn't work, i-i believe

That four children are gonna have a very difficult life.

Dad, I know you're desperate,

So I'll see you soon.

♪♪♪♪♪

Hello, jo. Hello, pleased to meet you.

How are you? Very well, thank you.

I was met with a nice big smile. Mom was pleased to see me.

So who have we got here? This is blake.

I was so nervous. Is she taking notes?

Is she gonna, you know, write me up? Am I gonna fail?

Hi, how are you?good.

Hello, madison. How are you? Pleased to meet you.

Dad was still at work when I arrived,

So I got a chance to see mom in action.

No, it's not. Give me the car so that we can, um, settle this.

[Jo] chase didn't want to give up one of his racecars,

And mom decided

That she would put him into time-out.

No, sit right here in the chair. [Whines]

Come on. No, no, no.

Chase. Chase, I want you to sit down.

We're in time-out.

The time-outs are really not affective.

They boys could care less. They see it as a fun time.

Chase, I want you to go sit down in the chair now.

[Jo] this wasn't discipline for chase.

This was a game of tag.chase.

Let's get back in time-out.

But the so-called time-out was interrupted.

Yay, daddy's home.

Dad came home from work, and the boys ran up to him

And gave him lots of kisses and cuddles.

Hey, daddy's here.

I missed you so much!

My three little munchkins.

Hi. Jason, hi, pleased to meet you.

How are you? Hi, jo frost.

Good to see you. [Dawn] the floor now.

And he was really warm and affectionate.

Come on, sweetie. Daddy!

And then he walked into the kitchen area

And ignored madison.

[Boy] can I play on the phone?

Excuse me. Did you eat?

[Burps] excuse me. [Burps] excuse me.

Good boy, you said excuse me.

It was like she was invisible.

Time to go in the high chair.

Yeah, we're gonna have some lunch. Are you ready? No.

It's typical for jason to come home

And--and love on the boys

And tell 'em how much he loves 'em,

And he waits until he walks by and says, "hey, madison."

[Chase speaking indistinctly]

They don't talk.

It was almost minutes

Before dad even acknowledged that madison was even there.

[Jason] does madison have any homework or...

[Dawn] hmm, I don't know.

Madison, do you have any homework? No.

Huh? No.

And basically, that was it.

All that time went by, and dad had nothing to say to madison.

Madison invited me up to her bedroom,

And I was able to ask her, how different does dad behave

Towards her than with the boys?

Jason treats them different than me.

Where do you think that's coming from?

Because he loves them more.

He loves them more. Mm-hmm.

How do you know that? He, uh, he shows it.

Right.

Ideally, what would be a good place

For you to be in right now?

I don't have a good relationship with jason. You don't call him dad.

You don't feel like he's your dad.

That's why you don't call him dad.

It's important for you to be able to have both parents,

You know? Mm-hmm.

I'm hoping jo

Can make me and my dad have a better relationship.

[Jo] it's awful

To see the pain that this young girl is in,

And I am gonna need to speak to jason.

What are you angry about? Her disrespect.

When, like, dawn and madison are having an episode.

As in, you--you gotta-- like, they're arguing...

As in--oh, more than arguing. It's rage.

I'll just audio it 'cause they'll stop.

Dad recording his own children's bad behavior.

This I need to hear myself.

I am so irritated all the time at madison because of this,

'Cause of the way she acts and nothing happens to her.

I wanted to show the gravity of the situation

And how bad it can get

When dawn and madison do argue.

[Madison yelling indistinctly]

[Dawn] I don't care! I wasn't gonna get it all back!

How about I give up? How about that?

I did not like when jason brought out the video camera

'Cause it does upset me.

I mean, well, who does that to their wife and their family?

And then jason told me that he has another issue with madison,

That she doesn't always tell the truth.

Like, she was supposed to go horseback riding,

And she had to do two things--

Well, on wednesday, she said, "yeah, I did it,

But the teacher didn't post the grade,"

And I said, "madison, tell the truth."

I knew. I knew she was lying, and she was.

She made us all believe that that--that she had done it

And the teacher hadn't-- she never did it.

So you don't trust her. Absolutely not.

[Jo] trust is very important

With any parent and child relationship.

However, it just seems like there's no foundation

To build on here.

It's like dad's already thrown the towel in.

Coming up on "supernanny,"

Jo finds out the ugly truth about bedtime...

After arguing all day about how to raise the kids,

We're--definitely don't want to see each other at night.

And rips into dad about madison.

What does it say that the man that she should be able

To reach out to, the man who protects her

Is a man who's cold, is a man who doesn't show her love?

When "supernanny" returns.

♪♪♪♪♪

[Chase] this is my stuff.

[Jo] chase is years old, nathaniel is years old.

When it comes to going to the potty,

They have their bottoms wiped.

Oh, he's not allowed to do that yet, is he?

Oh, uh, no, he's ,

But, you know, he-- eventually, he'll learn.

I'm just--i just don't like to rush 'em.

Does his brother wipe his bottom, as well,

Or is that a bit difficult? No, i--

Can they both wipe their own bottoms?

Dawn tells me that-- no, ma'am.

All right. Not yet.

[Jo] and that wasn't all dad did, because later on,

He started to spoon-feed -year-old nathaniel.

Ahh. And when he put a spoonful of food in his mouth

That was too hot... Is it hot? Here.

He started to blow air into his mouth!

I thought he was giving him cpr!

That better?

It's a little bit bizarre to watch

Because you see these big kids capable of doing so much,

But they're not being given the chance.

By doing everything for them, dad is disabling the boys

When he should be allowing them to do things for themselves

And learning those life skills.

After dinner, dad got the boys ready for a bath

And then got them ready for bed,

But mom and dad started to argue about the times

That they felt the boys should go down to sleep.

We usually don't go to bed, you know, till :, but...

Well, I mean, I think : is good. [Madison] mom.

What's that mean now then?

Well, I want 'em to go to--

I mean, they should go to bed now, and, um...

They'll never get to go to sleep.

I mean, they'll toss and turn and--and...

So the reason why they go to bed at :... Mm-hmm.

Is--is for what reason? 'Cause they-- they're not tired.

I usually fall asleep in their bed,

And I just wake up in the morning and... Right, okay.

And usually leave.

Right. And then you fall asleep in your bed.mm-hmm.

So you don't--you don't end up sleeping together then

In your own bed? Mm, not often.

Right. So is that on purpose?

Mm... No. Sometimes.

I ju--i think sometimes we're arguing, and it's just-- yeah.

It's--i think he just does it on purpose.

Well, you like it, too.

I mean, you... Well, I know. We both are arguing.

You--you go in your room and close the door.

After you have an argument.

You know, after arguing all day about how to raise the kids,

We're--definitely don't want to see each other at night.

Is that how you feel?

So, um, on that note,

I'm gonna leave you guys for the evening. Okay.

There's a lot of work to be done here,

And I just hope that mom and dad

Are ready to hear the truth in our meeting tomorrow.

♪♪♪♪♪

[Cow moos]

Well, I guess here we are, right?

Here we are. Here we are.

I mean, it's a sad state of affairs, really.

You've got beautiful children,

And they're being raised by parents

Who don't even talk.

I don't want it to be like this.

I want to talk about the pair of you.

You're not working together.

You're not enjoying the role of parenthood.

Your marriage is strained,

And yet, the pair of you are just quite happy

To stay on the sidelines.

Well, I don't think we are properly equipped

To deal with all this.

I mean, we're--we don't even know what to do,

And sometimes, it's hard to ask for help,

And for all these years, we couldn't ask for help

Until it got this bad.

You guys really need to start

Taking responsibility,

And--and really asking yourself some serious questions.

Mm-hmm.

So let's move on

To the children's life skills.

I see they're being spoon-fed.

You know, they sit at the table,

Faff around, get their own bottoms wiped.

I mean, what's going on here?

Come on, be serious.

I mean, are we gonna keep 'em babies, or what?

No, i-i try to encourage them to--to do that,

But I think jason-- she does.

Jason just wants 'em to stay, I guess, babies. Uh, I don't.

I mean, seriously. Growing up too fast.

You know, you--i guess you--you don't want to lose your babies.

They're so precious and sweet.

They need to be more self-reliant.

They need to learn how to brush their own teeth.

I mean, what are you gonna do when they're at a party?

Pop in and wipe their butt for 'em?

Life skills--

They need this. It's vital.

At some stage, you gotta step back

And allow 'em to go and try it themselves.

Otherwise, how are they gonna learn?

They won't.

Let's talk about trust

Because it needs to be welcomed into the home.

There isn't any.

I mean, it's that bad--

Jason, you're videotaping your own family,

Because now we don't trust madison.

What does it say that the man

That she should be able to reach out to,

The man who protects her, the man who teaches her

The way men will be around her

Is a man who's cold, is a man who doesn't show her love,

A man who came into his own home

And said word in minutes after being here?

It's really damaging.

[Dawn] mm-hmm.

I believe "maddy" needs major love in her life.

She needs nurturing.

She needs her parents to be on the same page.

Yes.

You need to question yourself

Whether you really do want this together,

And whether you're prepared

To do the hard work that's necessary.

Is it impossible?

No.

You just got to want it bad enough.

I think it can happen.

Can you change? I can.

Can you change? I will.

Coming up on "supernanny,"

Will jason be a roadblock to progress?

I'm having to change my thinking, so...

And your attitude, as well.

And my attitude. I mean, you make it sound like--

You're so hos-- you're hostile.

And later... Can we stop the cart, please?

Jo goes to the edge to get dad and madison to reconnect.

All right, we're not going that way.

We're staying here,

So we might as well hash it out and talk.

When "supernanny" returns.

♪♪♪♪♪

[Horse whinnies]

Watching mom and dad

Mollycoddle nathaniel and chase,

It's quite concerning because you wonder

Whether they're ever going to learn the things

That they should be learning.

So what I'm going to do

Is to bring in a few little techniques to encourage them.

Nathaniel and chase,

I have two little mini steps.

[Chase] ooh, red and white. Yes.

And there's one taller one. Okay.

And--and I like red.

And you like red, so, nathaniel, you will have the red one.

In addition to the stools,

I also brought in for the boys...

Wipes, new toothbrushes, your own mirrors.

So they would be equipped for what came in next.

This is your own "I can do" list...

[Dawn] wow. All right?

As you can see here,

There's the toilet.

[Jason] when jo brought in the life skills board

For the, uh, boys,

I was, I guess, reluctant to see them

Being able to not need my help anymore.

When you guys are successfully doing that

All by yourself,

And you don't need no help,

You will get a little check.

After explaining about the board,

I then took them into the bathroom

And started to set up things.

Just getting them involved helps them to embrace the changes

That are gonna happen.

[Speaking indistinctly]

[Jason] how about that? Can you see there?

Okay, so put all your stuff nice and neat.

[Dawn] I hope that jason realizes, you know,

The importance of letting them do things on their own now,

So that they can develop normally,

And I think this will be helpful.

Good job, boys.

And it wasn't long before nathaniel

Got an opportunity to show his mettle.

Good boy. Are you doing poo-poo? Good boy.

Dawn, poo-poo alert!

There we go. Come over here with me. Me.

Yeah. [Dawn] you going to the bathroom?

[Nathaniel] yeah. Okay, and you're gonna wipe?

I went to--went to the bathroom,

And he was all about doing it himself.

Oh, you want me to go out?

You want to do it by yourself? Okay.

If you need me, I'll be right out here.

He was on the throne, and he wasn't going to be rushed,

And, you know, it--it was sweet.

He's definitely been, definitely been.

Nathaniel eventually completed his task,

And then mom went in to check on his progress.

One more time, see if we come clean.

To actually have a child

Do and learn what's necessary

For him to do is an accomplishment.

It's a big break for a parent.

I think you did good, look. It's all gone.

Nathaniel was excited about, uh, about wiping his own bottom,

And I think he'll follow through from now on.

Did you wipe yourself? Did he wipe his butt?

[Gasps] I'm so proud of you.

You never did that before.

[Jason] I realized that I don't want to be a stumbling block

For them in being able to do these things.

I-it wasn't a reality to me until jo actually said it.

There is a major trust issue here

Between madison and her parents,

And I'm going to bring in a technique

That's going to regain the trust between them all,

And also allow madison to recognize the importance

Of taking on more responsibility.

There are things that she wants to do as a year old.

Name me some. Skating rink,

Go to a friend's house, go shopping.

But there are also things that she needs to do,

Her responsibilities.

What we're going to do is put a system in place

That allows madison to earn that, okay?

This is what a trust buck looks like.

[Dawn] uh-huh, cute. [Laughs] [madison] okay.

Whenever madison does an agreed-upon task,

Such as clearing up,

She's going to be rewarded with trust bucks,

And when she's saved enough of those,

She'll be able to use them

Towards privileges of her choice.

But let me tell you this--

The responsibilities are compulsory,

Which means you have to do 'em, and if you don't do those,

Then you actually will get a consequence.

Are you feeling motivated to earn some bucks?

[Dawn laughs] I think the trust bucks are gonna work well

Because they're just kind of an incentive for her.

[Jo] all three of them

Seemed really pleased with the idea of the trust bucks,

And then I saw madison start to earn these

By doing some washing up,

But dad refused to give her any trust bucks.

After you do some-- your responsibility, no. Yeah.

No, not--no, not every time. Yeah.

'Cause they're-- no, 'cause--

That's what she said, mm-hmm.

She said, r--no, she said even if you don't get bucks,

They're still your responsibilities to do.

You think you're supposed to get bucks anyway.

Yeah, 'cause I am. But you're not.

[Jo] he doesn't want to give to her whatsoever.

I think he's angry,

I think there's a lot of resentment

That is inside him,

And he's not willing to bring himself to a point

Where he can change that with his own daughter.

Does she get a buck every time she does a chore? I mean, I think,

You know, how are we gonna keep her doing the chores

On her own if we don't--

'Cause that's her responsibility.

R-right. We can't bribe her every time.

Then what are we gonna give the bucks for? I don't know.

The responsibilities are there because she has to do them.

Right. However, in good faith,

We're gonna throw you a couple of bucks here and there,

And we're gonna acknowledge the things that you are doing,

And you didn't give her time of day to actually say,

I would like to be able to, you know, give you some bucks today. Oh.

You went, well, you know what? Well, you're supposed

To be doing it anyway.

I'm having to change my thinking, so it's not as easy...

And your attitude. As you-- you make it sound.

And your attitude, as well. And my attitude.

I mean, you make it sound like making--

You're so hos-- you're hostile.

So --so years of this, it's not gonna happen immediately.

If you don't choose as an adult to recognize...yeah.

Your own attitudes...okay.

And your hostility and how you feel...okay.

Whenever madison is in front of your face...okay.

You're gonna dig a hole for you

And I might as well give you a shovel now.

Coming up on "supernanny,"

Jo takes drastic measures

To try to get dad and madison to reconnect.

What would you like me to do when I come home?

You want a hug like I hug the boys? You want a hug, too.

How come you can't even reach out and hug your daughter?

You can't even kiss your daughter hello.

When "supernanny" returns.

♪♪♪♪♪

Let's get off the couch.

You know I don't like you to do this.

Earlier on, I did see mom do a time-out...

Well, her version of a time-out.

And I've seen dad override that time-out

By mollycoddling the boys.

So I'm really looking for an opportunity

To teach both parents how to do the time-out properly.

Come on, come on. No.

Stand up. Get off.

[Jo] chase and nathaniel were jumping on the sofas.

They weren't listening to mom.

Nathaniel, come on. You want to go to time-out? Aah!

Huh? Want to go to time-out?

Yeah. You do?

Yeah.why do you want to go to time-out?

[Jo] mom clearly needs help on how to do a time-out correctly,

So I'm gonna take mom and dad to the side

And teach them how to do it properly.

You explain for the first time

Why they're in that time-out chair,

And then you set the time-out accordingly.

I felt like they weren't really soaking in the steps.

So I thought, what I'll do with this family

Is actually show them first.

Hey, guys, can you get down from the sofa, please?

I don't want you jumping on the sofa.

Nathaniel, look at me, please. Do not jump on the sofa.

Otherwise, you'll be going straight into time-out.

He didn't listen.

He continued, and I placed him into time-out.

[Cries] I'm putting you

Into time-out because you did not listen to jo jo.

[Jason] I felt awful for nathaniel.

We're not used to being aggressive like that.

We're used to saying things over and over and over,

And not doing anything. Now you'll stay here.

And then when I looked around at dad,

He's pacifying his son.

What was you doing? I was just saying it's okay...

Hold on, what was you doing? 'Cause I feel so bad.

Hold on a minute here.

How do you think that disciplines-- he's confused.

He's not confused. You're confused.

I'm confused. I am confused.

You're confused. Come with me.

It's so common to hear parents say,

"Oh, he doesn't understand."

Parents underestimate their children.

You're trying to pacify your child on time-out. Yeah.

Mm-hmm. That's mixed message.

That confuses the child.

That's really saying, I don't want to do this. Mm-hmm.

So what do you think the child's gonna do again? Same thing.

Correct. And then who's gonna get angry with that?

Me.

Nathaniel, jo jo put you in time-out

Because you didn't listen to me.

You need to tell jo jo you're sorry. Sorry.

Thank you, thank you. [Sniffles]

And then dad, to his credit,

Did admit that he'd been doing it wrong.

I showed you how not to do a time-out... Oh.

By pacifying him. Oh, oh, yeah.

I won't be doing that anymore.

So when they're in trouble, they're in trouble,

And I'm not gonna take that away from you.

The children, they look at me,

And they see, don't worry, I'll bail you out.

And it's mixed messages.

I was the one that was confused about the situation.

I'm finished being confused.

[Speaks indistinctly]okay.

♪♪♪♪♪

I knew it was going to take something radical

To get madison and dad talking about their issues,

So I have forced the issue a little bit

By placing them in a situation

That means they're gonna have to talk.

I think it's time for you guys

To really talk about how you feel.

No?

Yes, sure.

You're not saying anything?mm-hmm.

All right, can we stop the cart, please?

[Engine stops]

All right, we're not going nowhere. We're staying here.

So while we're here,

We might as well hash it out and talk.

Don't you think

The man you call jason, who's your dad,

Needs to hear how you feel?

You feel sad.

Why?

I didn't know you felt that way.

What would you like me to do when I come home?

Say hello. Say hello to you.

What else? Mm, give me a hug.

You want a hug like I hug the boys? You want a hug, too.

What, do you want me to say something to you?

Mm.

How's your day? You know, like I do the boys.

Don't you think it's crazy that she has to ask you,

As her parent, for a hug,

For a kiss, to ask how her day was?

Don't you think that it's crazy

That she has to ask you whether you can be her father?

Whether you can be her dad?

I th--i think that it's sad.

[Jo] there's madison,

Courageously expressing

What she needs from her father,

And he's just shutting her down.

He's not even open

To anything she has to say.

I think that's disgusting.

I mean, he should be ashamed of himself. He really should.

Madison needs from you

What's not coming organically.

What about as a father reaching out

To your -year-old daughter and actually saying to her,

What could I do

To make it better?

When she needs you so much--

She needs your unconditional love.

And you know what? You need her love, too.

It's not gonna be peachy keen all the time.

No, listen, it's not saying it's not gonna be peachy keen... Right.

But you know what? You've gotta take a step forward,

And you're not even doing that now. Well, we're trying.

So if you can relax, we're--we're trying.

D-don't tell me to relax, okay? Okay.

How come you can't even reach out--

You can't even reach out and hug your daughter?

You can't even kiss your daughter hello.

You can't even make her feel special.

Why can't you do that? Tell her. Why couldn't you do that?

Whycouldn't I do that? Yes.

Because we were always at odds.

And why haven't you done it in the four days?

Because we were always at odds.really?

Because we're working towards it. How sad is that?

I know that this man gives a lot

When he's in confrontation, so I pushed his buttons.

Then I'm not gonna do it. Answer the question.

I'm just not gonna do it.

Why don't you feel compelled

To hold her?

[Jo] it wasn't until I started to talk to him personally

About what was going on here

That he started to think about his behavior,

And then when I just forced them to actually

Just hold each other and hug one another

It was like at that moment, he realized.

I'm gonna ask you to hug your daughter,

Because I know deep down you really do want to.

I know that, and I'm just gonna let you just--just feel it,

And even when you feel like you want to pull away,

Just stay there, just stay there with the hug.

You ready? Mm-hmm.

Big bear hug. Put your arms around your dad.

And it's not until we're in the hug

That we actually realize the power of the hug.

[Jason] she talked about the power of a hug,

And that--that d-definitely stayed with me,

And--and I'll use that.

[Madison] it felt good to tell my dad how I felt.

It's good to show your feelings.

Back at home, dad got a little opportunity

To build on what he and madison had just begun.

Because I appreciate your hard work

And you doing what you're told,

So we, you know--'cause we don't have to tell you what to do,

I want to give you something.

When I was putting dishes away, he gave me two trust bucks.

Thank you. [Indistinct conversation]

It's definitely important for madison to learn

That if she does her responsibilities,

Good things come.

Madison has earned four trust bucks today.

[Dawn] four, wow. Four.

I'm gone for several days.

Nathaniel and chase... Please, don't go.

I want to see you continue to do all the things

That "I can do," okay? [Speaking indistinctly]

All by yourself.

Madison, keep up with your responsibilities.

Now that jo is leaving for a few days,

We can try to remember the things that she's taught us

And put them in place.

What I would like to see

Is the pair of you working together,

Making sure that you communicate with one another.

Are they gonna continue to argue?

I guess so. See you later, boys.

And they're aware of what they need to work on.

The talk is cheap. We need to see the action now.

Coming up on "supernanny,"

Dad's passive-aggressive behavior

Reaches a new high.

I do appreciate it, madison, you watching the boys.

I'm still hurt that you're being mean to me today

And not talking to me.

While everybody's trust plummets to an all-time low.

Madison is a chronic pathological liar. We know this.

When "supernanny" returns.

♪♪♪♪♪

After three days away,

I know that this family are gonna need my help,

So I'm eager just to start work again.

So I bring you the dvd footage.

How are we all feeling?

Pretty good. Scared.

Scared and pretty good, all right.

So we're gonna take a look at life skills.

It's all about the boys, which I'm excited to see.

Look, a new toothbrush.

Okay, you want to stand on the stool and brush your teeth?

[Jason] brush your teeth.

♪ Row, row, row your boat ♪

Help me.

♪ Gently down the stream ♪

♪ Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily ♪

♪ Life is but a dream ♪

That--that's it.

See?

That wasn't--yeah!

Now you can wipe your hands off.

Isn't that amazing?

Okay, definitely better, and we are seeing improvement.

You don't have to feed him the hamburger, okay?

That's just about your patience

And really not his. I mean, it's like

I was treating him like he didn't have any arms.mm-hmm.

You know, like, I mean, really. I--you know, seeing it.

It's good that you're here at the table

Being able to see that about yourself,

Because when you can actually see where you're going wrong,

It means you can change it. Mm-hmm.

And it's very big of you and very mature of you, jason,

As the parent to step forward here at the table

And--and actually say that, and that's a good thing,

Because it's never too late for any parent to change.

Mm-hmm. So we're gonna move on now to the trust buck.

I do appreciate it, madison, you watching the boys,

And I want to show you i-i appreciate it... I see...

Even though I'm, you know...

I see money right here!

I'm still hurt that you're being mean to me today

And not talking to me.

But this isn't about me and it's not about my feelings.

It's about you--you know, we didn't even ask you.

I didn't ask you to watch the boys.

Okay, I want to give you that, okay? Cool, thanks.

Now I want one. Okay, from watching that,

If you feel that she's been a certain way,

Just pull her aside and say, I'd love to be able to talk to you. I tried.

Okay? Don't keep 'em together.

I'm gonna give you a trust buck even though you were... Hmm.

Keep it separate. Otherwise, you're giving with the right,

And you're taking with the left. Okay.

It's showing that you're begrudging

Actually giving it to her, you know? Mm-hmm.

Passive-aggressive behavior. Okay.

Okay, so we just had a look at the trust buck.

We're now gonna just take a look at overall the trust here.

Guess what?

They blame me for taking madison's dollar last night... What?

Her dollar's right there.

Go bring that to mommy and tell her where--

You said, do-- I do, I do. Where you found that.

Chase found the dollar that you accused me of taking yesterday.

Yeah, it was in the-- okay.

I saw in the-- in the kitchen this morning.

Well, that's not my-- I didn't put it there! Madison didn't, either.

Come on. Madison doesn't remember putting it there.

You have more trust for madison

Than you do for me, obviously... I'm not saying that.

Even though she lies to you all the time. I'm not saying that.

It is! You trust her every single time.

Madison is a chronic pathological liar.

We know this. I don't know that.

Well, what do you-- what do you want here?

I just want the truth.

Okay, we're never gonna agree on anything.

No, I just want the truth.

Well, there's-- there's trust issues, period.

I mean, you've lied to me,

And I haven't been honest with you, too.

You spent so much time

And energy

Arguing over

Who took the buck, who didn't take the buck.

Trust is what we're talking about here.

I'm not doing the trust bucks.

You can have them, because you don't talk to me about it.

You don't work anything out.

You give madison a buck when you want her to do something,

'Cause you don't want to fight.

It's late at night. I'm done. Now you can have 'em.

L-let's--let's just stop here.

I mean, "I'm not doing the trust bucks with you,"

Really, the pair of you

Are not doing anything with you, are you?

This is what we needed to find out,

To bring y'all here,

I--we had to see if we could work together with the best--

The best help that we can get.

So I had to see if it was gonna work or not.

I had to go to the limit. This is it.

You come here, you do all this, and if we still can't do it,

At least I know that we can't do it.

"Can't" doesn't exist in the vocabulary.

You havechosennot to. Right, that's right.

There is so much still harbored in the pair of you,

So much bitter and resentment

And anger.

No one can move forward with those emotions.

There's no trust, you don't respect each other.

You certainly don't act

Like a couple who love one another.

Or like.yeah.

You both

Individually have...

Stuff you need to work on.

I'm gonna leave you guys for a while.

I think you both need to just be with your own thoughts.

Coming up on "supernanny,"

Will mom and dad throw in the towel?

We have to work together,

And we--i don't know if we can.

When "supernanny" returns.

♪♪♪♪♪

And i-i don't know how we would get trust back or...

Respect.

I-i know it's gonna take time,

But I don't even know where to start.

I definitely saw the anger that I have,

And I don't want that,

So I need to work on myself.

I'm gonna really think about that every second of the day.

Am I angry?

And does it really matter

What somebody thinks about me or what somebody says,

Or you being critical all the time?

[Sniffles] it's not that I'm being critical.

I don't feel like I'm being critical.

I just didn't-- you know-- you are, though.

I see things--i'm not. I mean, it's not my purpose.

Oh, okay.

Well, we have to change the way we approach things.

All right, it's all about attitude.

We have to work together,

And we--i don't know if we can.

Well, I want to work on it.

Do you want to work on it?

And that's where we can start there.

This family still have a lot of work to do.

There's no two ways about that,

But what I want to be able to leave them with

Is something visual to help them remind themselves

Of what they're working towards.

This is the exercise we're going to do.

We are going to build our visual

Of "a house is a home."

Mom and dad have certainly had the rough with the smooth

In their relationship, like most marriages.

But I think what's gonna be important

For these parents to remember--

If that--if they just work together,

And they're willing to compromise,

Then there's no reason why they can't move forward

To better times.

I want you both to use the photos

That you have in front of you,

And what we're going to do is pin them onto the corkboard.

Where was this at, remember? Hilton head.

Isn't that hilton head? Good one, chase.

Sometimes, it can be very helpful

To have a visual reminder

To keep you motivated in what you're working towards.

Blake's got one. You want to put that one on?

Let's see. What's that one? Come here.

Ohh. Come here, let's see.

Is that a happy one for you, blake?

Is that happy time? Want to put it on there?

[Madison] and keep on-- how about putting this one on?

What one's blake got there? It's our wedding.

If they want this to work,

They've got to be willing to compromise

And work together to move forward.

[Dawn] a lot of times, we're arguing,

And we're just not wanting to be in the moment,

But I think now we're gonna concentrate more

On doing fun things

And--and just being a happy family.

You know, a house isn't a home until you make it a home.

It's the--the love that you bring in

And the, um, thoughtfulness

And the trust and respect that you give it.

Are you deciding, nathaniel?

Are you deciding which one?

I like this one, look. Look how cute he was there. I know.

So small. [Buzzing] oh.

Yay. Yay.

It's a great reminder that we need to strive for joy

And strive for love

And--and kind of just be all together.

You do yours first, and then I'll do mine.

We've gotta do the foundation right,

And it's gonna take time.

It's a good, uh, good thing to strive for.

Jo jo is going. All right.

Nathaniel, bye-bye, darling. [Blake cries]

This family have a lot of work to do,

But I do believe today

Has been the beginning for them.

Bye-bye, darling. So cute.

Can you say bye-bye? [Dawn] the whole process with jo

Was a lot tougher than I thought it was gonna be, but...bye-bye.

It ended up, you know... Bye-bye, sweetie.

Where we needed to be and what we needed to do exactly,

And it was--i mean, it was right on.madison,

Being a year old, all right, enjoy it, okay?

[Madison] having jo come to my family was a good experience.

I see a difference in jason

Not to argue with my mom as much,

And I'm glad that jo came.

This is the renewal of a lot

That needs to move forward, right?

Having me come into their house

Has given both mom and dad the opportunity

To recognize what they need to do

In order to continue building their relationship with madison,

And I just hope that it--it remains

A priority to do so.

I think you guys have-- have learnt a lot

About yourselves in the process, and that's what's important.

Jo, i-i do appreciate you coming over to help our family.

Bye. Take care. Bye-bye.

Bye. Bye-bye.

Thanks, jo jo.

[Nathaniel] thanks, jo jo.

See you later.

♪♪♪♪♪