07x10 - The Potter Family

[bunniefuu]

Tonight on "supernanny"...[Woman] don't hit the wall.

Get over here and pick up these legos. Really?jo visits the potter family

And meets a mom who gets no respect...

I-i'm your mommy.

And a dad whose temper is out of control.

It's threatening his bond with his son...

Get over here!you're yelling at me.

'Cause you don't do a single thing I ask you to do!

And tearing his marriage apart.

This is my life. It sucks.

Can jo knock some sense into dad...

Thatis what's happened to them emotionally.

And rescue his marriage from the brink...

If I ever thought it was better for the kids

For us to be apart, would I do it? Absolutely.

Before he ruins his relationships for good?[Screams]

Really, I believe this is your last chance.

I just want it to change.

♪♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪♪

I'm in rochester, new york, ready to help a family.

Let's take a look.

Hi, we're the potters.

I'm joy.and I'm chris. We have four kids.

Noah is , ryan is ,

Jake is , and alexa is .

Ryan, come out of here. Noah's going to bed.stupid.

[Chris] I don't think that I get a lot of respect

From any of the kids.

I asked you to go upstairs no less than six times,

And you're still sitting here.they don't respect us...

Don't push me.and they don't respect the house.

[Joy] don't hit the wall. Stop it.

[Chris] talking back and being blatantly disrespectful...

La la la la--hey! Covering your ears and saying "la la la,"

You don't do that stuff.

[Chris] that makes me very angry.

Wow.this needs to change.

Go to bed for the night.[Joy] discipline has been tricky

'Cause the two of us haven't been on the same page with it.

Alexa, come up here.i want to talk to them

In a way that they deserve to be spoken to.

Keep your darn hands off of him.he's a little brat!

He's not a brat. You're the brat.

I think that his parenting style's a little old-school.

Hey! Get over here now!

I am a disciplinarian. I am very strict.

I do tend to do a lot of yelling.i don't think you're cute!

[Joy] he's loud. It can get scary.get up and get it!

I sometimes interrupt chris and try to step in.

Come with me.what? What did he do?

He just kicked him in... The privates.

He's getting him back! That's what ryan did to him first!

When I was a kid, my mom didn't challenge my dad.

Do not talk about your parents again.

That truly is where I'm coming from.

Yeah, really. I'm just... Stop.okay.

This power play between the pair of 'em...

No teamwork.

[Chris] my relationship with noah is very strained.

You're very careless, noah.

Strained because...he just doesn't listen.

It always ends up in a huge fight.

Do not get cute plugging the ears!

Dad, I know--i know. You said you wouldn't yell!

And chris is over-the-top. He's screaming.

Pick that up now!

[Joy] he needs to get it under control.

I do not like this.

This is my life. It sucks.

Ryan? I'm getting angry now.[Joy] I wish that

Chris would embrace parenting a little more.

I don't want him to be frustrated...

What--what did I just ask you to do?and angry all the time.

Get in the house now.

[Joy] they want it to stop, and I want it to stop.

I don't ever want to be faced with the decision

Of choosing between my husband and my kids,

But I sometimes think,

"Would it be better for us to be apart?"

Supernanny, we really need you more than ever right now.

Hold on there, because I am on my way.

♪♪♪♪♪

[Doorbell rings]

Hello.hi.

Pleased to meet you. Jo.you, too. Come on in.

How are you? Pleasure to meet you. Jo.

Hi. I'm noah.hi.

What's your name?jake.

Hi, jake. Pleased to meet ya.

Hi, I'm chris.hi. Pleasure to meet you, chris.

Pleasure to meet you. This is alexa.

Hi, alexa. Pleased to meet you.

This is ryan.hi, ryan. Hi, pleased to meet you. I'm jo. So I'm just gonna,

You know, just observe and, uh, hang out, really. All right?[Joy] okay.

Shortly after I arrived,

Noah and ryan vanished upstairs to play video games,

But mom had felt that they'd already played enough.

Choose a different activity. That's just what we're doing.

[Jo] but ryan went straight on as if mom never said a word.

Ryan! I said, turn it off.[Whines]

The kids do not listen to me.

I'm talking to them, and they're not even looking at me.

[Whining]that's naughty. I asked you to turn it off.

No. Mine.

Give me the controller.

No.let go.

No!ryan.

[Jo] mom was trying to make a point

By taking away ryan's game controller,

But instead, she ended up in a tug-of-w*r.

I'm not gonna play it! Just let me have the controller!

What are you gonna do with the controller

If I give it to you?

I'm gonna put it back where it's supposed to go!do it right now.

In the end, I gave in

And didn't really follow through with what I wanted.

I-i'm your mommy.what does he mean by "it's not your job"? What's not your job?

To tell him that he can't play it.

Not only did mom allow ryan to keep the game controller,

But she also allowed him to disrespect her,

And this boy has got his mom wrapped around his finger.

[Joy] I'm gonna go out for a little while, okay?

[Jo] later on in the day, mom went off to work

And dad insisted that noah tidy his bedroom.

Where mom is so soft, dad is so extreme.what is all this?

Legos.yeah, well, you're gonna clean 'em up.

Later.

Hey! Get over here and pick up these legos.

Really?go!

Sometimes, my dad gets really mad, and I don't like it.

Pick up the legos...

No. Go.

Get back here now!

I mean, I can't exactly blame noah for running away.

Dad's tone and the way he manhandles him

Has got to be scary for that boy.all right,

I'm gonna give you one chance to pick these legos up,

And if I pick 'em up, then they're gonna be taken away.

Okay, well, then say good-bye to your legos, then.

[Jo] dad was getting angrier by the minute,

So I left him upstairs to tidy up the toys...where's noah?

In here.huh?

In here.in there?

[Giggles]get up, please, from there.

[Giggles] noah, get out.

Noah, no, that's not safe.

And when I came downstairs to see where noah was,

He was hiding in the ottoman, away from his dad.

And before I knew it, dad was back.

He's not done with noah yet.noah, I'm getting tired of you just tossing your shoes

Wherever you feel like it.[Boy] come on, noah. Go and pick up the legos.

Do you know what I want you to do right now?

Well, why would I listen if you're gonna be mean?

I shouldn't have to do this,

But I will spell it out for you again.get over here!

Get here now!

You weren't told to walk away from me! Get over here!

You're yelling at me.

'Cause you don't do a single thing I ask you to do!

You're disrespectful to me and your whole family!

You don't come in the house and kick your shoes off,

And then refuse to pick 'em up

When you're told to do something!

Now, get over there, and pick them up!now!

Dad completely lost it. He's out of control.

He scares those kids. But he doesn't scare me,

And I'm gonna need to talk to him.

Go upstairs, so I don't have to drag you upstairs,

And go to bed.

I can't.okay.

See, I can't.so we got--so we gotta do this, now.

I can't 'cause you're gonna hurt me. [Screams]

The big, mean dad will go away

If you simply do the simple task you're being asked to do.

Good night.

[Jo] dad had asked noah to stay in his room

For the rest of the evening,

But I just wanted to check on noah to see that he was okay

After such a large confrontation with dad.

Do you know why your dad was angry with you tonight?

So, dad needs to work on how he talks to you, right?

And being respectful,

And you need to work on your listening skills, right?

[Chris] okay, stay away from noah.tomorrow, I'm gonna sit,

And I'm gonna talk to your mom and dad

About things that need to change.[Chris yells indistinctly]

Because this isn't good...

Is it?

Clearly, the relationship between noah and his dad

Has broken, and it's gonna take some hard work

To get it back together again.[Kisses]

Coming up on...

Mom and dad's relationship is on the line.

If I ever thought that it was better for the kids

For us to be apart, would I do it? Absolutely.

But can dad move past his own parents?

Maybe that was an old-fashioned way of looking at things,

But it worked.

I want to focus onus,onour kids, onoursituation, onus.

When "supernanny" returns.

♪♪♪♪♪

[Jo] observing the potter family,

I'd seen dad's temper on the rampage.

Get over here!you're yelling at me.

'Cause you don't do a single thing I ask you to do!now!

[Jo] as soon as mom got back from work,

I took dad aside to ask him

If he thinks his behavior has a huge impact on his children.

I think my kids tend to overreact.

Like, if I'm disciplining my son,

He acts like it's the end of the world.

And I think he's just trumping it up...right.

To try and get a reaction.right.

"If I scream and cry and cower and..." [Imitates whine]

"You know, and all this, then dad will leave me alone."Mm-hmm.

I think I do a lot of things right.

And I kinda want somebody to chime in and point out, really,

Where I think joy's shortcomings are.

If she doesn't agree with what I'm doing, she'll jump in,

And she'll show the children that mom and dad don't agree.

Dad's correct. Him and mom should be on the same page.

But does he really think I'm gonna give him a gold star

Because he bullies his children?

I grew up in a wonderful family. I never saw my parents argue,

Because my mom was content

To step back and let my dad rule the house.

There's no way that dad can expect me to be in his corner.

Before I left for the night, though,

I did need to hear mom's take on the situation.

They're kids, and they don't need to--to have the yelling

And the, you know, the loss of temper.

[Voice breaks] and I know what a wonderful person he is,

Or I wouldn't be with him.

But I will always do what I think is right for the kids,

So if, at any point, I ever thought

That it was better for the kids for me to take them

And for us to be apart, would I do it? Absolutely.

She's in a desperate situation because she knows

What she needs to do if things don't change, and she's scared

That she's gonna have to walk down that road.

The stakes are incredibly big here in this family.

I've seen plenty and I can't wait for tomorrow to come,

Because I need to sit down

And have a serious conversation with the potter family.

♪♪♪♪♪

I'm really, really anxious about the parent meeting.

I know it's going to be difficult,

So it's making me really uneasy.

Let me start by telling you both

That it takes a lot of courage to come to the table,

Because some of the issues wewilltalk about--

They're not a rosy picture.

Yes.no. [Mouths word]

There are parental issues,

The kids are suffering for it,

And that, for me, is incredibly sad.

Yeah.

Let's talk about discipline,

Because I know that there's been much heated conversation

With regards to, "what do we do with discipline

When we see the kids being disrespectful?"Right.

The pair of you need to be in agreement of discipline.right.

This is not to shame or to humiliate.

Discipline is to teach,

And you both have to follow through on it.

They don't listen. I say to ryan,

"That's it. You're not going outside to play," and he says,

"Yes, I am," and he literally walks out the front door.

And then you don't follow through with the consequences

That happens for not listening,

And he knows that, because you give empty threats.

You have to break the mold. You have to recognize

That everything you're familiar with right now

Has to go out the window.

'Cause what you're familiar with now,

What you're secure with right now

Is dysfunctional, and it's breaking your family.

Chris, I spoke to you in the backyard yesterday,

When you very openly spoke about your own upbringing,

And that your father led the household

With the decisions.

Yep.

Families have evolved. Parents have evolved.

That's changed.maybe that was an old-fashioned way of looking at things,

But it worked.

You know why it worked?why?

Because your mother sat back and allowed your father

To make those decisions. It worked because you--right. What's wrong with that?

Because you're not married to your mother.

But I always liked the result of that environment.

Get over it. It's--we're not them.

We have different children. We are very different.

I work outside of the home a lot.

It's not the same, and I'm so tired of being compared to it

And hearing about it. I wanna focus onus,

Onourkids, onoursituation, onus.

She's trying to talk to you

And you're not listening.

That breaks down relationships

And creates hostility.

[Voice breaks] I just wanted a change.

Let's move on and talk about

Yourself, chris, and noah.

Your tone, your inflection, the way you are with him...mm-hmm.

You're--you're rude.yeah.

And I can guarantee you what you are doing right now

Is breaking his spirit.

I know that you love him,

But I know that he doesn't feel that way.

The anger, the yelling-- it's continuous with him.

You expect so much from your kids,

Yet you are not leading by example of showing,

When you are in certain situations,

This is how you handle yourself--

You get angry and you yell. Then you wonder

Why they do the same. You teach them that every day.

Really, I believe this is your last chance.

You're gonna both step up to the plate

Willing to make this work.

There's a lot at stake here.

Mm-hmm.

You have me %,

And I expect you both to give each other %.[Whispers] okay.

Are we in or we out?

We're in, absolutely.

Coming up on...

Jo teaches dad a lesson in respect.

I'm the father.does that give you the right

To talk to another human being shouting and yelling?

[Exhaling] and gives him a sh*t of his own medicine.

Thatis what's happened to them emotionally.

When "supernanny" returns.

♪♪♪♪♪

The discipline in this house is really all over the place

Because while dad berates the kids,

Mom pacifies by letting these kids walk all over her.

So what I need to establish first and foremost

Are some great house rules.

But as they were writing them down,

One of the rules touched a nerve.

"Treat each other with respect"--

Will they understand what we--well, we have to explain it.

Will they understand what we mean?

We're gonna have to explain it and give them an example.

An "example" is the operative word here, because you've not

Been very good at leading that example with the kids.right.

You've lost tempers and shouting and yelling,

And then you turn around and say, "but you don't do it!

You shout at us, but you tell us and you tell us..."Yeah.

And what do you say?i'm the father.

Does that give you the right to talk to another human being

That's demoralizing and disrespectful,

And then expect them to show the same respect to you.right, right, right.

Well, what should I say?

You--you diffuse the situation, cut it straight off.

"Actually, right now, this conversation

I do not appreciate."

Yeah, you can't have a fight if one person refuses to fight.correct.

Bringing respect into our home, I think, is going to

Make all the difference for joy and I and all the kids.

There hasn't been a lot of respect in either direction

Up until now.

So, you're both happy with your rules there?yes.

Yep. Yep, I'm happy.all right, good.

[Joy] all right, guys.

Can we have you all come over to the steps?

Now that mom and dad have established the rules,

I want them to present a united front

As they convey the rules to the kids.

Noah, what does this say?

"Treat everyone with respect."

Do we know what that means, to be respectful?

Yeah, who knows what "respect" means?

To listen when someone's talking.

[Joy] it felt good to be standing side-by-side

And--and explaining to them that these are the rules

And we're going to post them in the house, and this is what

We want to be followed, and we're gonna stick with it.sound good?

[Chris] thanks, guys.

♪♪♪♪♪

Later on that afternoon, ryan broke one of those rules...

You need to listen to me and you need to come in the house.

[Jo] which gave mom the opportunity

To follow through with discipline.

You told him not to go out, you gave him that warning.

He has to go in time out.okay.

[Ryan whines]

Ryan, you're in time out right now

Because you chose to go outside even though I asked you not to.

You're going to sit here for seven minutes in time out.

Set your timer for seven minutes, joy.

Mom stepped up and followed through,

But by no means was it easy.

Doesn't feel good, does it, giving them a time out?

No, it's hard.why?

I don't know. I-i feel bad "punishing" him.

But how's he gonna learn?

Only if i... Show him.

Mommy!

Oh, he was furious.

[Whining]

I felt like, he's been naughty, he needs to learn his lesson,

He needs to do the time out, but he's calling, "mommy!"

And he sounds so sad!mommy!

And soon enough, ryan started to test her.

The timer hasn't gone off yet.[Jo] no talking, joy!

[Whining]

No talking. Just reset the alarm.

[Whining]

He was giving her a run for her money,

But it was important to step up with that authority.

You cannot give up.mommy!

Mommy!

Finally, ryan sat for seven minutes straight,

But he wasn't done testing mom.[Beeping]

So explain why he's been put in there.

The next step is for him to apologize.

If he doesn't sincerely apologize for this behavior,

Then you're gonna walk away for a minute,

And you're gonna come back.okay.

Okay?ryan, you're in time out because you went outside

When I told you not to.[Whining]

Can you tell mommy that you're sorry that you didn't listen

And you went outside?[Crying] I can't!

Okay. Can you take a deep breath

And tell me you're sorry?ah ah ah! You've already asked him,

Okay.and he's telling you he can't, so I'm gonna come back.

You're gonna come back. Leave him there.

I'll come back, maybe when you're ready.

No!okay, go back in a minute, and then you're like,

You need to tell mommy you're sorry. You didn't listen,

And do as you were told. Okay?

He's either gonna say it or he's not.right.

If he doesn't, "you obviously need more time,"

And then you walk away.[Screams]

Are you ready to say sorry?

He practically leapt in my arms, was squeezing me tight,

And whispering in my ear, "I'm sorry, mommy. I'm sorry."

[Whines] sorry!thank you, ryan.

It's not easy, but it's right, and you know what?

They--they will actually appreciate it.

Thank you.

[Ryan crying]

That was okay?yeah, it was.

It was almost like saying "thank you."

Like he needed that structure, he needed that discipline.

He needed that from me.

Dad knows that his temper is a huge issue in this family.

And whilst mom is learning

To be more consistent with her discipline,

Dad knows that he needs to learn how to manage his anger.

Um, the reason why I've brought you here

To this gym is because...

I want you to get a grip on your anger...oh. Okay.

So that you can start to eliminate this, because when

You start to get frustrated and you start to get angry,

Then everything turns into turmoil,

And we know that it's destructive in the house.

So we're gonna do a bit of boxing.

Hi, dom!hey.

Boxing is a great stress-reliever,

And it's gonna be so important for dad to do this

Because proactively, he can manage his anger better.

You might be breaking a sweat, so you need to

Get you out of these clothes...oh, get me out of my clothes? Okay.

Yeah, and put you in some boxing stuff, okay?sounds good.

I'll take that.coach dom was a little intimidating-looking.

He's a very strong man.

I wasn't quite sure what he had in store for me.

Good. Hot stove.

Make believe you're touching a hot stove.

There you go.

Hitting the heavy bag felt good.

It felt good to get out

Whatever was bothering you-- you're not even

Thinking about it anymore. And, you know, once you get

The technique down, it's a great workout.

Get it out!

Dig into it! Punch those feelings.

You could see he was exerting all of that energy,

And he felt good for it.

One, two, three, four.

Okay, that's enough. Good. Real good, real good.that good?

Can we give dad the pads?

[Jo] if dad thought that the fight was over,

He was in for a bit of a shock.

[Exhaling]

You feel that?yeah.

[Exhales] you see that?yeah.

Imagine that...

Every time you lose it with your kids.

They're getting punched.

Becausethatis what's happened to them emotionally.

That's tough, right?

Yeah. It's not fair to them.

The one thing that you can't see

Is when people are emotionally drained,

They start to withdraw, they act out,

They start to use bad language,

They become disrespectful.

Right. They do.

An emotional punch, trust me, is worse than that.

When jo associated the physical punch

With an emotional scar, it started to hit home for me.

What, you done with the punching?i'm tired.

What, you don't wanna take no more?i don't want any more.

Jo's punches are definitely gonna be in my mind

When I catch myself saying something harsh to the kids.

'Cause at the end of the day, I don't want them to be

Emotionally hurt by me.

[Jo] I know that dad's not completely there yet,

But I'm making progress with him.

Coming up on...

Dad tries to mend his relationship with noah.

[Voice breaks] I just wanted to let you know I was wrong.

Can I have your hand?

Do not call us liars, noah.

And mom has to step up and take control.

I'll give it to you! Stop!

When "supernanny" returns.

♪♪♪♪♪

[Jo] dad knows that his temper has been

Completely destructive for his family,

And he needs to go about changing things

And putting things right.

The first thing he needs to do

Is work on his relationship with noah.

I think it's really important that you guys just hang out

And have time together.cool. Uh-huh.

And, uh, we can do that whilst we are buildingzerocket.

Cool! That is awesome!okay, there are instructions in there.

They're gonna learn together how to fix this thing up,

And let it off!

All right, dad, come here. I'll give you a job to do.

Okay, give me a job.assemble the rocket.

Assemble the rocket, okay...

Noah--he just, like, lost his mind. It's right up his alley.

Pretty cool.you put the rocket in backwards.

Are you sure?i, on the other hand, was a little bit apprehensive

About, what am I gonna bring to the table here?

I vaguely remember this when I was a kid.

You used to do 'em?

Yeah, I think I was your age. I-it was fifth grade.

Put the engine in the hole first. Perfect.

[Jo] the beautiful thing about this relationship right now

Is that the experience gave them the opportunity

To talk to one another, to become closer,

Which is healing their relationship

And putting it right back on track.

What do you want to do when you grow up, noah?

Uh, engineer.an engineer?

What kind of engineer would you like to be?

Roller coasters.

Roller coaster design engineer. That sounds pretty cool.yeah, dad.

Given some of the difficulty that

Noah and I's relationship has suffered, I think it's

Really important that we're now getting an opportunity

To spend quality time with one another.

This is pretty cool, man.oh, my word!

Isn't that cool?this is excellent!

What do you think, buddy?[Jo] sweet. Do a countdown.

[Chris] yes, let's do a countdown.[Jo] yeah.

Okay, five... Four... Three...

Two...

One...[Loud hiss]

[Jo] whoo!

Wow! It actually worked!

Aha! That's awesome!awesome, noah!

Cool!just to see how happy he was,

The look on his face, and what a thrill it was for him

To, uh, spend this time with me, you know, that, uh,

He had a good day, it was--it was great.

Was it worth it?yeah.

Was it worth coming to the park with dad?yeah!

Absolutely!yeah, for real.

It was awesome to sh**t off the rocket

Because I got to spend time with my dad.

Thank you.you're welcome.

Yes, thank you very much.

♪♪♪♪♪

The park was a wonderful experience,

But there's something to be said when you actually admit

That your behavior has been wrong as a parent,

And that you put it right.when you're accountable for where you've been

And you take ownership from that...[Joy] yeah.

You can clean the slate. This little boy will grow up

And know that, you know what? When he's not perfect

And when he makes mistakes, guess what he can do?

Admit that he's wrong.yeah, and fix it.

I thought that was a great opportunity for me

To sit down with him and have a heart-to-heart

And let him know that things I had done were wrong.

[Voice breaks] I've been wanting to talk to you

For a little while. [Clears throat]

Daddy's a little emotional.

It's 'cause I feel... Really bad

About how I've treated you.

And I was very rough on you.

And, uh, I just wanted to let you know...

[Voice breaks] I was wrong.

Can I have your hand? That was wrong of me.

I'm sorry.

[Cries]

I'm gonna change.

So that means no more yelling.

We're gonna talk things out.

Okay?

My dad realizes that he was sort of tough on me

Before jo jo came and helped us.

[Sniffles] can I have a hug, buddy?

Felt great to give noah a hug. I wanna start fresh with him,

And I want him to know that I'm for real.

It's good. That was good. That was good.

Noah needed to hear that. He needed to see his dad

Reaching out to him in that way.you step up

And you show it now, because we can

Only keep saying sorry, saying sorry, saying sorry.

You step up and you do what's necessary.

You put the homework in.

Now it's time for dad to make good on his word.

And if he doesn't control his temper,

He's gonna lose noah's trust completely.

♪♪♪♪♪

There's no rocket tonight, noah.

The next evening, mom asked noah to put his things away,

But he started to give her attitude.

But you said we could do it!

Think you misunderstood that because--liar.

That's not what was said.and it was the perfect opportunity

For dad to step back and allow mom

To take the lead when it came to discipline.

Do not call us liars, noah. I don't like that at all.

Look at me when I'm talking to you.

If you don't look at me, you're going to go to bed right now.

Okay, I want you to go to bed.i was reading. You didn't even give me a choice!

You're gonna go by the time I count to three.

One...i'll look at you! Please!

No, it's over, noah. Two.i don't wanna-- please, I'll look at you!

Mom, please don't. I'll read!three. You need to go to bed. You need to go to bed.

[Speaks indistinctly] no, I'll listen.no.

Don't t--no, no. Leave it. Let him make a decision.

He has to walk himself up to his bedroom,

Otherwise he will lose the spaceship.

Come here for a minute.

What's your next move?

I don't know because I can't pick him up

And bring him upstairs.you know what? You're gonna have to learn to handle noah.

So you'll go over and you'll say to him,

You've lost your spaceship, okay, if he doesn't go upstairs.

Are you gonna listen to me and go up into your room,

Or I have to make the decision?

Um...

I can't trust you now. Tell me why I can't trust you.

When did--what are you talking about?

This is negotiation.if jo weren't there,

It would have been the old pattern

Of debating with noah and arguing with noah

As he continued to plead.i suggest right now

You listen to what your mother's saying, 'cause she's about

To make a decision for you if you don't listen to her.

[Joy] so that means I'm going to have to take the rocket away.

Mommy! I already made my decision!

I said I wanna go upstairs!excuse me. Oh, no. You haven't shown me that.

I already said that!no, no.

Come over here for a minute. Don't get into a fight with him.

Don't get into a fight.

What you are going to do

Is take the rocket because he's been told

That he can't have the rocket, okay?

If he fights you over that, then it's gonna break.

I would go. Go and get it.

Lot of times, I'd be called in to discipline

And to see her stand on her own--

It's--it's good to see.

I'm done.

[Noah whines]

I'll give it to you! Stop!

[Jo] I think that mom did a fantastic job.

Noah is aware that when you disrespect...no!

There are consequences, and she took his spaceship away...stop! Stop it!

And he had to go straight to bed.

♪♪♪♪♪

[Jo] I'll be back in several days. Joy?

[Joy] feel very nervous about jo going,

But I'm just gonna try really hard to keep hearing her voice

And doing the things that she's shown me.

Listen, hold it down-- hold it down with your temper.

I'm not gonna lie. [Chuckles] I don't want her to go.

[Kisses]if I am not able to keep my anger in check,

It'll be disastrous, really.

Coming up on...

Hey, noah?noah gives attitude to dad.

You're not hungry?no, I'm not. You cannot tell that?

Thank you, honey.

And dad gets himself in trouble.

You're pacifying her and you're thanking her. No.[Speaking indistinctly]

Look, let's talk about the serious side of that.

When "supernanny" returns.

And now...

How can I keep an eye on my teen's internet use?

"A," install spy software

So that you can monitor the web sites and chat rooms they visit.

"B," set time limits and talk to your teen about what sites are

Appropriate and inappropriate for them to visit.

"C," limit their internet use

To homework and school-related activities only.

Find out the answer when we return.

And now...

How can I keep an eye on my teen's internet use?

"A," install spy software

So that you can monitor the web sites and chat rooms they visit.

"B," set time limits and talk to your teen about what sites are

Appropriate and inappropriate for them to visit.

"C," limit their internet use

To homework and school-related activities only.

The answer is "b."

Setting time limits on your teen's internet use

And talking to them about appropriate web sites

Allows them to connect with their friends,

Have fun, and be protected, all at the same time.

♪♪♪♪♪

[Jo] when I first met the potter family,

They had some critical issues to deal with.

Dad had no control over his temper...get over here!

And mom was just fed up with it.

I just want it to change.

Over the last few days, though, have they taken my advice?

That's yet to be seen.hello.

Hi.hey, jo.

Look what I brought.[Chuckles]

Oh.oh, boy.

So we're gonna start off taking a look at bike rides.

What would you rather do, like, for the next activity?

Build a go-kart. Yeah.build a go-kart? It's funny you should say that.

I was actually talking about this with mommy the other day.

You were gonna buy one?well, maybe.

What kind of go-kart? Like, a single-person--no, a -seater

So we can take your brothers out.

You'll want at least a -horsepower engine.

Why? What's so good about a -horsepower?

It runs faster and it has better grip. Like, torque.oh, really? Torque.

[Laughs] torque.

Yeah.all right. Cool.

It's wonderful to actually see you taking that bike ride

With noah. I'm liking what I'm seeing and it's

A really good start to healing your relationship with him.

Very pleased here. I'm gonna move on to the next piece here.

Oh, honey, it's all the way over here.

Still not eating it.

Noah...

I'll eat something later.noah, you didn't eat enough.

Hey, noah? You're not hungry?

No, I'm not. You cannot tell that?

What I'm trying to do is have a conversation with you,

And I want to establish that we both understand each other.

But it's stupid because you just asked me a question

I just answered.okay, so...

"So you're not hungry?"What I'm hearing is you're not hungry.

We're gonna have ice cream...okay.

After we're done with our dinner.fine.

You will not be having ice cream. Fine.

You're understanding that? Okay.yeah.

What I'm pleased to see is how you've composed yourself!

[Chuckles]yeah, that's a huge difference.

You were very patient and matter-of-fact.

Oh. Well, good. All right.

The way that was handled... What a difference, chris.

Thank you.what a difference.

And the fact that you've stepped up is--is incredibly promising,

And... Only your hard work

In continuing to be conscious

Of the way you behave and how you deal with it

Is what is going to lead to successful parenting

And certainly a much more happier marriage.

Absolutely.[Chuckles]

You're feeling that way, right?oh, yeah. Absolutely.

Let's take a look at mom's discipline.

[Chris] you're being a poor sport.

Do not hit him. Do not hit. This is your warning.

If you hit him again, you will go to time out, alexa.

Stop. Don't tease her.

[Whines]don't--

[Giggles]now she has to go to time out.

[Whines]you're in time out

Because I told you not to hit and you hit ryan again anyway.

You're in time out for four minutes.

[Whines]

Nice.i think I'm getting it.

I'm just gonna check on her.

[Whining]

You need to stay seated, honey.

Oh.

[Whines]

Mommy put you in time out, so mommy's gonna take you up.

I'm just telling you to stay seated.[Crying]

All right, thank you, honey. Thank you, honey.

[Jake] can we get ice cream now?[Ryan speaks indistinctly]

I just was seeing if she was up or not.

Oh, okay, sorry.

[Laughing] it's so funny...

You can't help yourself, can you? You can't help yourself.

Look, let's talk about the serious part of that.[Chris and joy] yeah.

This kind of interfering is undermining mom in a big way.

Right.

You have to allow joy to discipline

And hold that authority in front of you as an equal.

And these kids need to see that so that they respect joy.

So no undermining, okay?

Okay.

[Jo] let's continue with discipline.

[Beeps]

[Cries]

Alexa, your time out is over.

You were in time out because I told you not to hit

And you hit ryan anyway. Can you say you're sorry?

[Voice breaks] sorry.can you give me a hug?

Give me a hug.

Joy, that was a very good example

Of doing the naughty step

And following through with the steps--

Warning, follow through, hugs and kisses, let's move on.

Thank you.

So I'd like to acknowledge that there's been some really,

Really good work here-- somereally,really good work.

But there's still stuff that we do need to work on,

Because when I leave,

You don't have somebody saying, "hold on a minute."

You have each other, and it's how you support one another

That's gonna be incredibly important.right.

Mm-hmm.all right?

Coming up on...

Mom and dad try to repair their relationship...

[Voice breaks] I really am so proud of you...

[Whispers] oh, thank you, honey.so thank you.

And jo fights back tears,

When "supernanny" returns.

♪♪♪♪♪

The potter family have truly made a lot of progress,

And although some of that behavior

Has been incredibly negative,

I think it's about time that this family

Started to acknowledge the positives going on.

So what I have here...

Are paper chains,

Because we are gonna make chains of acknowledgement.oh, wow.

We are going to write down what we see as being better.

And when we write that down,

We are then going to make a chain.

Let me tell ya, you're gonna have a nice, healthy chain...

[Joy] that's awesome, guys. It's gonna be long.in a couple of months.

[Noah] how long's it gonna be?noah, name one thing that you've seen in this house

That's different because it's better now.

No more yelling.no more yelling.

Chris, what have you seen?

Happy kids.

You're gonna write it down on your chain.

They all had a chance to voice

What they felt was really good about the family right now.

Seemed like all the kids right away were really excited

About the acknowledgment chain. They all wanted to have

A part in it and to build their own piece of the chain.

I think they're thrilled.[Jo] you guys are doing so well.

[Chris] we absolutely will continue writing down

All the good things that happen.

I mean, everybody, you know...

Wag your finger at you when you're doing something wrong,

But it's really great

To hear when you're doing something good.

[Joy] look at it already. Look at this. This is pretty neat.[Chris] that's pretty cool.

I think it's gonna be a great thing for this family

To actually do this acknowledgment chain

And start to just make it longer and longer.

I do still have one more important job to do,

And that's to make sure that both mom and dad can

Reach out to one another so they can be solid as a couple.

[Jo] I feel like we're in a different place at the moment.

We're in a much different place. We're--we're both just...

Everybody's happier.

It's like a black cloud that's... Gone away.mm-hmm.

How do you feel about going in and acknowledging to chris

How the work that he's put in has made an impact on you?

I think it would mean a lot to him.

They certainly have worked very hard together,

And they've been willing to work

Towards making everything much better than what it was.

Can I interrupt you for a minute?

[Speaks indistinctly] yes, you may. [Laughs]

Um...

I just wanted to tell you that...

[Voice breaks] sorry.no, it's okay.

I'm really, really proud of you

Because you have shown me

The man that I always knew that you could be.

You've changed, already, so much,

And I really am so proud of you...

[Whispers] oh, thank you, honey.so thank you.

[Kisses]

Mmm.

It was really great to hear joy say

That she saw the improvements that I had made in my attitude,

And even though she was crying, it was a good feeling.

I see the... [Voice breaks] the difference already, too...

Mm-hmm.and it feels good.

[Jo] I think chris is a very wonderful example

Of how you can change old behavior patterns

That have been festering for years

If you actually make up your mind

That you're ready to make that change.

All right, now you've got the nanny crying...

Oh, no. Oh, no.'Cause now it fits. Shove the tissues. Now it's serious.

[Laughing] andweloveyou.

Oh, my word. [Speaks indistinctly] ...and emotional.

I'm so happy for you both, seriously.[Chris] thank you.

[Joy] seeing jo get choked up

Really, really touched the both of us,

And for her to be able to see that what she did really worked

And, um, really, really helped us and really changed us,

Um, it was very powerful.

Compose yourself, jo. Still have work to do.[Chris and joy laugh]

You know, you go on these emotional journeys

With these families, you know?

You feel so much empathy and compassion,

And you really want it to work out.

I don't want to say good-bye. [Laughs]i... I know, I know.

It's been so great that you came here. Thank you.

Good-bye, jo. I can't thank you enough

For the tough love that you gave me.

You just keep up doing what you're doing, all right?

[Voice breaks] she really turned us around...

Turned me around. I'm really sad to see her go.

Give me a kiss, noah.jo jo helped me and my dad get along better.

[Kisses][joy] jake, hugs and kisses for jo jo.

I'm gonna miss jo jo a lot.me, too.

Keep in touch with me.bye-bye, jo jo.

Miss you already.bye.

[Chris] bye-bye, jo.[Joy] we love you, jo jo.

This family's done an incredible amount of work.

They were in a desperate situation, and I have to say,

I'm proud of the work they've put in and it feels good.

The future's bright for the potter family.