07x11 - The Merrill Family

[bunniefuu]

Tonight on "supernanny," jo heads to camp pendleton

To visit a m*llitary family facing incredible stress.

What's the biggest pressure you put on yourself?doing it all.

Dad's just been deployed to a w*r zone for a year...

Where is he?

He's in afghanistan.

And mom is struggling at home

With their four adopted children...

Ow! You may not bite me.[Crying]

Who haven't left behind the horrors of their past.

Eddie will tell me, "the dark, the dark, the dark."

In ghana, bad things happened in the dark.

Can jo help this family carry on without dad...

Daddy, I miss you so much.

And help the kids overcome their bedtime anxieties?

Or will they live in fear?

♪♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪♪

Well, I'm inside camp pendleton

In oceanside, california,

Ready to help a family who need my help.

Why don't you join me, and let's take a look?

Hi. We're the merrills. I'm beckie merrill.

I'm married to major chris merrill,

Who's currently deployed in afghanistan for the next year.

We have four beautiful children

Who have come into our family through adoption.

Garrett, who is , and elena, who is ,

Are biological cousins and were born in guatemala.[Laughs]

Eddie, who is , and lydia, who is ...[Laughs]

Were born in ghana and are biological brother and sister.

Guatemala, children are living in orphanages

That don't have funding.

They struggle for food. They struggle for education.

Garrett came home from guatemala at months,

And he is my gregarious little man.

This is yummy.elena came home from guatemala at months.

[Beckie] we're done. We're done.no!

[Crying][beckie] we have

A very antagonistic relationship right now.hey.

That's not what I want with my daughter.

For eddie and lydia's adoption, we traveled to ghana.

% Of the population in ghana

Lives on less than $ a day.

Fortunately, eddie and lydia were able to make it

Into the foster care situation,

And they have been with us in the united states

For three months now.

[Screaming]hey.

Eddie has only been speaking english for three months,

And that can make him really angry and frustrated.

When he can't communicate...

[Screaming]he will just explode.

Eddie, that is enough.

[Screaming]

[Beckie] lydia still very much needs to have me close.

Look at me when mommy loves.

[Whines]i struggle with the balance

Between forming attachments with my children

And also disciplining them.lydia, do not hit me.

I worry, with eddie and lydia,

That I let them get away with too much.

You may not throw the game away just because you are angry.

[Beckie] I don't expect enough of them

Because they haven't been in our family as long.

I think we're gonna need to fix that pretty pronto.

[Telephone rings][beckie, singsongy] hi.

[Elena] oh, is it daddy?

[Singsongy] it's daddy!daddy!

[Beckie] my husband is a pilot for the marine corps

Who's currently in afghanistan.

He is gone for the next year.

[Elena] let me!oh. Somebody wants to talk to you.

[Beckie] chris and I try to stay in contact

Through e-mail, infrequent phone calls.

Uh, daddy, i-i miss you so much.

I wanna know why you're taking so long.

[Beckie] the hardest is holding my children when they cry

And say that they miss daddy.mommy gets sad when she misses daddy.

It's okay to be sad.

It's overwhelming to me at times.

I love you, too.

That's tough.

[Screaming and crying][gasps] no, ma'am!

[Beckie] elena!

Parenting while chris is gone is really hard,

Because I don't have that additional support.

I am on /.

Ow! You may not bite me.[Crying]

I have days where I feel like I am at my limit,

Like I just need to run away.

Ow![Gasps] hey.

[Beckie] I need to be able to give my husband peace of mind

While he's deployed overseas this next year.

Supernanny, we really need your help. Please hurry.

Beckie, I know you're at the end of your tether,

But just hold on a little bit longer,

Because this nanny's got some tricks in her bag.

I'll see you soon.

Hello. Welcome.hello. Thank you. Pleased to meet you. Jo frost.

Nice to meet you. Beckie merrill.

[Jo] the kids were eager to meet me,

But, obviously, reserved.

This is lydia. Hi, lydia.

[Jo] hi, lydia. Lydia's shutting her eyes.

She is my shy girl.hi. Elena, how are you?

She's also a little bit shy.

Elena was born in guatemala, and lydia was born in ghana.

These are my boys. Garrett is my wild man.

Hi, garrett.

This is eddie.eddie. Hi. Pleased to meet you.

If he and lydia don't make eye contact,

It's because, in ghana, it's considered disrespectful

For children to look at an adult.to look. Yeah.

Eddie and lydia only came to the states

Three months ago from ghana,

Which is a huge transition for them.

[Jo] oh, look. This is chris there?[Beckie] that is chris...

Daddy.when he came home from deployment two years ago.

About hours after we brought elena back from guatemala,

He had to deploy for seven months.

So chris is out there now?

Yes. He's in afghanistan this time.yeah. Yeah.

[Beckie] eddie, you want chicken?no!

Just after I arrived, mom started getting lunch ready,

And I can see that with chris overseas,

She's certainly got her hands full.

This is gross, seeing all this food on my floor.

It's hard not to have chris around,

Because I'm completely outnumbered.

Okay, please do not put your cup upside down on your head.

You do not want juice on your hair.

I'm not an octopus, but I feel like I need to be.

Help, mom.

[Thud, cup clatters]

[Cries]

Did that scare you?

♪♪♪♪♪

Hey, little people better not be outside.

[Jo] after lunch,

Garrett and elena went outside with no permission

And no supervision. Not safe at all.

What are you doing outside?

Then mom came outside to supervise all four kids.

Garrett and eddie!

Let's go, girls! Now!

[Jo] her tone for giving direction to the kids

Is very "sergeant major"!

Don't even think about it!

Get back on the sidewalk!

Lydia!i saw that the kids were not doing what was asked of them,

And they were going out into the street.

[Jo] elena's on the other side.

[Jo] the kids even went down to the playground by themselves

With no permission...[Sighs]

And with mom lagging behind.get out of the park. Now. Now.

After watching this for an hour,

I was wondering, how long's this gonna run

Before mom steps up and takes some action?

Lydia, now get out of the street!

Your plasma is in toy jail.

I was like, "toy jail?"

The rules for the--so when they don't follow the rules,

The car goes into time out and not them?

Uh, no. I put the toy in time out.so... [Laughs]

I know.the toy goes in time out...

Yeah.not the child for riding the bike.

[Chuckles]

That's crazy. I gotta laugh at that.

Lydia decided to show her frustration

With her toy being taken away.

No, ma'am. That isnotokay.

You may not throw things just because you're angry.

I wondered what mom was gonna do next.

Coming up on...

Dad's absence takes its toll on elena.

He's in afghanistan.

And jo learns about the horrors in the children's past.

Eddie will tell me, "the dark, the dark, the dark."

When "supernanny" returns.

♪♪♪♪♪

Lydia, now get out of the street!

[Jo] mom punished lydia by taking her toy car away,

And lydia--she wasn't happy about it at all.

No, ma'am. That isnotokay.

You may not throw things just because you're angry.

[Jo] mom sat lydia out as discipline

But then went and sat next to her,

So instead of it being a punishment,

It now became a "mommy and me" time.

Is she in time out?

[Beckie] she's just cooling off a little bit.

No surprise elena came over and thought

She'd have some special time, too.[Lydia screams]

Elena, hands to yourself.

Do you know why elena's come over here?to get my attention.

[Jo] then mom decided to reward elena

By picking her up when she'd been naughty.

These mixed messages are flying around like confetti.

Now you're coming inside.[Crying]

She started to behave a certain way,

And you went to give her cuddles and love.

Mm-hmm. I try to give her love all the time,

Especially when she's angry,

Because I know how much she's missing daddy.

I think she's having a really hard time with chris being gone.

Like, last night she cried for him for a really long time.

It's very clear that mom feels guilty

About doing discipline with her adopted children,

Not only because chris is away but also

She's really scared

That if she steps up and disciplines these kids,

That psychologically she's gonna damage all the effort

She's put in to connect with them.

So the confusing part for you

Is having compassion with boundaries?

Yeah, finding out-- figuring out...[Elena] mommy.

Where the boundaries exactly should be.

I struggle with

Creating that sense of trust in me

As a caring parent

And then also holding the line on discipline,

Because the adoptive kids can see it

As taking away love.

I can't get him.why? [Cries]

Where is he?

He's in afghanistan.i could see how tough it is for mom

Raising these kids without chris being around,

And so I really wanted to talk to her about it.

What's the biggest pressure you put on yourself?

Doing it all. I mean, that's--that's--

The hardest thing with being a m*llitary spouse

Is doing it all.okay. The fear is what?

That I'm gonna let my kids down.

That I'm not gonna be the mom that i...

That we can enjoy our time together.

I need to hold the bag of both being mom and dad,

And I don't feel like I can let either bag down.

I can't drop 'em for a second.

I'm trying to...

Stay connected with my husband, which--

We've had problems in the past staying connected

While he's deployed, just 'cause I sort of detach.

When I get--feeling too much, I just sort of put it in a box,

Put the box away up in a closet

And don't really look at the box.

I could see that she was trying to contain herself

And keep composed,

Because obviously it's very, very raw for her--

That there's so many thoughts

That must be swimming around in her head every day.

♪♪♪♪♪

[Jo] after dinner, mom started getting the kids ready for bed.

Garrett. Eddie. Undies. Now.[Garrett] yeah. Coming.

[Jo] and yet again, mom disappeared.

Sergeant major came in.

I mean, where was the words of encouragement?

These are kids getting ready for bedtime,

Not soldiers going off to w*r.

Hey! No, ma'am!

Go turn on the shower now.i certainly got the sense that mom's just trying

To rush through the evening and just get over and done with.

This is my nighttime struggle.

Let's go. Garrett, let's go.

Cars go in the white bucket.

What are you doing?!

[Crying]

Not really feeling a winding down period here.

No transition from day to night.

It's all about tidying up and, uh, getting ready for bed.

♪♪♪♪♪

[Jo] before long, mom had the kids into bed.

[Beckie] mwah. Good night. Sleep well.

[Jo] beckie was telling me that because lydia and eddie

Have only been in the states for three months,

They're still very scared of the dark.

[Girl] mommy.[Beckie] in ghana, the adoption coordinator said,

Bad things happened in the dark, especially in their village.

They'd come through and clear people out that are poor

And set fire to their shacks and whatnot.

Right. Yeah.so eddie has a very real fear.

Eddie will tell me, "the dark, the dark, the dark."Does he get out of bed?

They come in and find me.who?

Um, lydia especially, and then elena and garrett come in,

And they argue over who's gonna lay next to mommy.

[Jo] I know that we can certainly get these children

To a point of very much feeling like it is safe

To be in their bedrooms, in their home,

Feeling very protected.what I'd love to do is to leave you now, and tomorrow morning--

If I could have a family meeting with you?sounds great.

[Jo] I'm quite clear on what I actually do want to do

With this family, and I really hope

That she's open to receiving what I have to give to her

In order to make her situation a lot easier.

♪♪♪♪♪

[Beckie] I'm a little trepidatious

To hear what jo has to say about what she's seen in my house,

But at the same time, I wouldn't have called and asked for help

If I wasn't willing to accept her criticism.

I don't truly believe

That you are at your height of parenting,

That you're feeling that fulfillment.

Yeah, I'm definitely not where I want to be as a mom.

Yeah. Well, let's talk about dad. He's been away for...

For what, a couple of months now?two months. Yep.

And he could be staying away for another, what, ten...seven--

To , depending on what happens with the deployment.

That's a long time.

As mom raising these kids right now single-handedly,

It's a big challenge for you.

Yeah.

I feel what's gonna be important is to be able

To givethemthe avenue to really recognize that

Daddy's always in the house even though he's not in the house.mm-hmm.

Bedtime...

[Chuckles]

You struggle at bedtime.

And I feel the urgency.

"Tick-tock. Tick-tock. I need these kids in bed."

It's like that.

Eddie and lydia

Have come from a transition...

Mm-hmm.over the last couple of months,

And so you've had to really be cautious

With those circumstances.mm-hmm.

But I think bad habits have been created.yeah, absolutely.

What they don't get from you is

Your word that, "everything's okay.

"You're actually fine to sleep in your own bed

"Because you're safe.

"You can trust me. I will protect you.

This is your sanctuary."

Another issue is the positive praise.

Right now your head is focusing

On all the things that are not quite right,

All the things that could be better.

I haven't figured that part out yet.

I really wanna introduce to your family

Positive reinforcement

Through you verbalizing how you feel

And what you saw

So they can take that and have it and keep it

'Cause I think it's gonna just make a big difference.okay. Yes.

Do we feel like we're able to do this?yes, ma'am.

Do we feel like we're able to take on this journey

And--and--andfeel and experience

And have some fun along the way?yes, ma'am. Sounds great.

Thank you very much.thank you.

Coming up on...

[Crying]

Can jo teach mom to get over her guilt

And enforce discipline?you are parenting.

You are showing her love. You are showing her affection.

And jo gives the merrills a very special surprise.

Hello!

See daddy!

When "supernanny" returns.

♪♪♪♪♪

[Jo] with dad being off at w*r,

And lydia and eddie only being in the states for three months,

It's left mom rather confused at when to discipline

And when not to, and I think what's going to be

Very healthy for beckie is to establish some house rules...

[Beckie] "no hurtful words."So that she could go over them with the kids.

Our second rule is "tidy up your toys."

[Jo] and then I brought in a reward chart

So that these kids would visually see

How well they were doing with the rules.you listen to mommy,

Then mommy gives a very special reward.

The house rules and reward chart

Are definitely helping me feel more comfortable as a parent.

They're definitely a staying feature of our house now.

Let's just do a little mini exercise

Of stop, start, stop, start.

[Jo] next thing I wanted to tackle was outdoor safety.

I'd noticed in observation

That these kids just run out into the street,

And they don't even listen to mom,

And we need to work on this.they can choose whatever they wanna ride,

But when you say "stop," they have to stop,

And when you say "go," then they can continue.all right, we're gonna go walk

On a little walk around the cul-de-sac.

Mommy is gonna tell you "stop. Go. Stop. Go."

And every time mommy says "stop," what do you need to do?stop.

All right. Let's go!

Very simple, but a stop and start, you just gotta show

How much control you need. Okay, stop her.

Stop! Stop, lydia!

All right, bring lydia right the way back to you.

Okay, lydia, come back to mommy.

The ones you can't trust to listen to you

Need to be close to you.because you didn't listen to mommy,

Now you're at the back of the pack. I need to be able

To trust you to listen. Go!

Mom had to kick into high gear

And keep reminding these children.stop!

All right, all three of them.okay, you three, you need to come back to mommy.

Nice one. All three of them.

This little game allows them

To recognize the discipline that they're gonna need

To listen and do as they're being told.

I definitely think the kids got it.

They all got to see that mommy called them

If they didn't listen, so it was a good exercise.

Go!

Stop!

Nice! Yay!well done.

Stop!

Oh, good.

Awesome! Go!

[Jo] this little exercise allows mom

To step up with her authority

And these kids to actually start listening...

Well done.[Beckie] very nice. Go.

Giving mom greater peace of mind.

♪♪♪♪♪

[Eddie speaking indistinctly, lydia crying]

[Jo] at dinnertime, lydia decided that she didn't want

To sit at the dining table and threw a tantrum.

I think mom's just incredibly scared

That if she disciplines these children,

That she's gonna damage that emotional connection with them,

And I'm about to show her that's not the case.

You're gonna tell lydia-- you're not gonna ask her--

To sit at the table and to eat her dinner

With everybody else.

Okay? And when she refuses to listen to you,

You're then gonna give her a warning.

"You sit at the table, and you eat your dinner.

Otherwise you're going into time out."

Lydia, you need to go sit down

And eat your dinner with all the rest of the family.

[Lydia continues crying]

You need to sit down and eat your dinner,

Or you're going to go to time out.

[Screams]

Now I put her in time out?[Jo] you got it.

Okay.[Jo] mom took lydia to the naughty step,

But I was concerned that she wouldn't follow through

With that discipline and do it properly

And remain compassionate but in a healthy way

With boundaries.

[Beckie] I struggle with where I draw the line.

I wanted the kids to know that mommy wasn't taking away

Her affection and her love.

[Continues crying]jo, this is where I feel--

Do I sitwithher?no.

And now I'm gonna tell you why. Because during the day,

Everything you're gonna be doing with her is not neglect, okay?

You are parenting.

You are showing her love. You are showing her affection.

So she's perfectly capable

Of being able to sit on the naughty step

And not feel like she's been abandoned by any means.

Okay.

Lydia certainly tested mom by getting off of that step,

But mom was persistent, and she put her back every time.

You're gonna bring her down and start the timer again.yep.

You've got it.

[Beeps]

Lydia caught on very quickly, and within ten minutes,

Time out was over.[Beep]

But the real lesson here is for mom--

That stepping up and giving your child

Boundaries and discipline means that you do love your child,

Not that you don't.lydia, mommy put you in time out

Because you did not sit at the table with the family.

Can you say "sorry, mommy"?

Sorry.

Sorry? I forgive you.

Can I have a hug and kiss?

I listened to jo and did what she said,

And to hear lydia finally admit "sorry,"

Which I don't think she has said but twice,

Was amazing.

All right, time to go to the table.

Jo has definitely helped me work through

How to create a healthy dissociation

Between my feelings and what is happening at the situation.

I feel like lydia definitely trusts me as a mother,

And that in itself is just awesome.

There you go, love.[Boy speaks indistinctly]

[Jo] after dinnertime,

I had a very special treat for this family.

I mean, let's face it.

It's gotta be tough for these kids, right,

With their dad being away at w*r.

So I set up a live video link with dad.

But first, I wanted to speak to chris by myself.

How's it been for you today?today's been a fantastic day,

Especially 'cause I get to connect with the family again.

This rocks.

It must be incredibly difficult for you, being out there,

When, uh, you've got your family back home here.

I wish I was home. I wish I was seeing the kids.

And, you know, two months? Boy, they change quick.

So here you go. You got me.

There was a pregnant pause where I could feel his heart b*ating

As he was talking about his kids.

I mean, he's missing his family,

Like thousands and thousands of other troops

Who are doing their job whilst their families are at home.

I'm actually just gonna bring beckie in

With her,

And the kids will come in afterwards.

I-i think that sounds fantastic.

[Singsongy] hello!

Hey, beautiful.[Normal voice] how are you?

It's nice to be able to see your face.

I'm good. You look fantastic, baby.

Thank you. You look pretty good yourself.

So talk to me about the kids...

I know he misses the children terribly.

I can hear it in his voice when I'm on the phone with him.

I can read it in his e-mails.how's elena doing?

She's strong-willed as ever.

After mom and dad had a chance to speak alone

For a few minutes, I brought in the kids.[Garrett] I want to see him!

Hey, kiddos![Beckie] come here. He's on tv.

I miss my daddy.hey, kiddos!

[Beckie] who's on the tv?it was so great to see the kids' faces

When they came into the room and realized, "wait a second.

On the tv is daddy."Eddie! Elena, are those pretty gloves you're wearing?

[Beckie] we were gardening, daddy.[Laughs]

Daddy.

[Garrett] see daddy!lydia. Hello!

Just to see his smile was so great.

I want a-a-a face fish.

[Beckie] you want a face fish?right here. Ready?

There you go, elena. Give daddy fishy kisses.

[Laughs][beckie] okay, blow daddy kisses.

[Blows] got a big one!

[Beckie] put it in our hearts.

[Blows]another one?

Oh!

Got it in my heart.

[Jo] while dad being away is difficult,

At least every now and then,

They're gonna get this wonderful chance to connect.

It just makes those days a little bit easier,

And for them, that's incredibly important.

I love you, daddy.give mama hugs for me right now, please.

Daddy!go give mommy a big hug from afghanistan.

[Groans] oh, thank you, edward.daddy!

Oh, that's awesome.daddy!

Go tell daddy bye-bye. Mwah!

Yeah! Whoo!

[Beckie] daddy has to go back to work. Say, "bye-bye, daddy."[Elena] mm!

Come on. Eddie, let's go.mom took the kids out outside,

Thinking that the call was over, but not quite yet.

Hold tight, 'cause I'm just gonna bring beckie in.okay.

Mom told me that it's so difficult

To stay emotionally connected to your husband

When he's so many miles away,

And so as I was there, I wanted to give her the opportunity

To have a conversation with chris in complete privacy

Whilst I supervised the kids.

Thank you.[Kisses] you're welcome.

I was so appreciative to be able to have that time, him and i.

It was pretty fantastic.

Coming up on...

Garrett, it's time to do hearts. Let's go.

Jo decides it's time for mom to dismiss the drill sergeant.

It's like this, "right, let's go here.

"Right. Come on. Round up the troops.

Right. Okay. Let's go here. Round up the troops."

And can mom help these kids overcome their traumatic past?

When "supernanny" returns.

♪♪♪♪♪

I think beckie's clearly got the message

That when you're giving discipline,

You don't give loads of affection as well.

But apart from that, her adopted kids

Need lots of love--kisses and cuddles and everything else.

Mom's really not that quick to give a lot of praise,

But she's certainly good at barking orders.

So I wanted to give her a little technique that would help her

To really acknowledge the good behavior

That she sees from these children

So that they can keep doing it.

Okay.i gave mom four hearts

So she could write down all the wonderful things

That she sees from each one of her children.

One thing that stood out more

That you wanted to give them credit for

By reading out what's on their heart

And actually giving it to them.

Instead of always saying what they're not doing.

You got it.

I'm known in the neighborhood

As the mom that yells at her kids a lot,

And I'd like to not have that reputation anymore.

The glasses that you look through sometimes are...

Make all the difference.yeah.

And after mom had some time to write out those hearts,

It was time to give them to the kids.

Garrett, it's time to do hearts. Let's go.mom, this is a nice thing.

[Brightly] "come on. Let's do hearts!"

So I need to get more excited?[Normal voice] let's do heart--you know what--

You know what it is? What it is is this--your mind is so focused

On managing all four of 'em that it's like this...

"Right. Let's go here. Right.

"Come on. Round up the troops. Right. Okay. Let's go here.

Round up the troops." So the monotone

Is always the same. So when you're doing the hearts,

Play with your voice. Play with it.

[Brightly] "come on. Let's go and do the hearts!

Come on. Mommy's got the hearts for you."[Brightly] okay, come on, guys.

Let's go sit down at the table so we can do hearts.

Let me read eddie his heart.[Jo] ooh!

It says, "eddie, I am very proud of you

For using your words."

Mwah.

[Lydia] mommy.

"Lydia, I am very proud of you

"For using your words

And talking to mommy when you were upset today."

[Makes kissing noises]

"Elena,

Thank you so much for listening to mommy."

There was no warnings today, were there?

[Jo] ooh!no. I'm so proud of you. Can I have a hug and kiss?

[Lydia fusses][beckie makes kissing noises]

"Garrett, thank you for taking turns with your friends

At the park today, and I am so proud of you for doing that."

I definitely feel that jo has helped change

The tone of our house

And helped me redirect my attention

To what things my kids are doing right.

Just to see their faces light up--

It makes it worth the time to me.

[Jo] finally, it was time to deal with bedtime.

Through observation, I found out that lydia and eddie

Have certainly suffered some horrific experiences

When it comes to nighttime in ghana.

Eddie will tell me, "the dark, the dark, the dark."

In ghana, bad things happened in the dark.

They come through and set fire to their shacks and whatnot.right.

Up we go, darling. Come on.

I want to teach mom how to reassure all four of her kids

That when it comes to bedtime, they're safe.

[Beckie] it's extremely important to me

That I'm able to pull everything together

While chris is away,

Because I don't want him to have to worry

About what's going on at home while he's in a w*r zone.

These are lights, and they go into your bedroom,

And they light up all pretty.

The first thing we're gonna do is we're gonna set

The ambience, okay?

Mom would create this really warm, inviting ambience

By closing the blinds and putting up

Some nice, colorful lights

So that these kids won't be scared of the dark.look, guys.

All right. Everybody needs to come sit next to mommy.

Our house is a safe house, right?

I think the most important thing here is

To set up and create a ritual

To verbally reassure these kids just before they go to bed

That they're perfectly safe.

Does mommy keep you safe if the monsters try to come?

Yeah.

Yeah, mommy's gonna say, "stop. You're not allowed."

Eddie was hearing what mom was saying

About no monsters coming in...

There's no monsters here.and you could see that she made

That little boy feel very, very safe.

And that moment, for me, was something very beautiful.

All right, girls, climb into bed.

Good night.[Kisses]

Now that the children were tucked into bed soundly,

The challenge would be keeping them in the beds.

[Wind chimes tinkling]

I gave mom a wind chime to hang on the back of her door

So that she wouldn't get anybody in her bed unannounced.

Yeah, that will wake me up.

[Jo] but almost immediately, she had a visitor.

[Chimes tinkling]

Normally, I'd have a parent put a child back to bed

With no communication,

But we got some real serious situations here,

And so I've gotta tweak the technique a little bit.

[Lowered voice] I just want you to say to elena,

"It's time for you to go to bed, darling."Mommy, I need you.

It's time for you to go to bed, love. Let's go. Come on.i need you.

I wanted beckie to give the kids short verbal reassurance

And then put them straight back to bed.

Okay, good night, loves. I love you. Sleep well.

Elena really tried the "I need you. I need you.

I miss daddy. I need you."

And I got to realize really quick

That that's a ploy that she uses at bedtime.

A little while later, both girls got out of bed.

[Elena speaks indistinctly]they had their lights on,

And they were making a right ruckus in that bedroom.

I think it was really tough

For mom to be firm, especially with lydia and eddie.

Eddie and lydia never had their own beds

Before they came to america. They had a family bed.

So they're learning something completely new.

[Jo] but even so, mom followed through,

And she did a fantastic job.

It's time to go to bed.

I told the girls, "no more lights. No more playing.

"It's time for sleep. Good night. I love you.

Rest well so we can have fun tomorrow,"

And that was it.

They were out.

I couldn't believe how easy it was.

You did a good job.thank you.

I think it was a serious breakthrough.

Because mom gave them that short verbal reassurance,

It made them feel safe, and they slept in their own beds.

This is a step. This is where you need to be.big step, yeah.

Mom's done an amazing job tonight.

Now these kids are in their beds.

I'm gonna leave her so that she can get a good night's sleep.give me a big hug.

Okay. Thank you so much. Mm.you're welcome. You're welcome.

I just really hope that mom can stay on track while I'm away.

I have a feeling that the kids aren't done

Trying to push me on the bedtime routine quite yet,

And with jo leaving us for a few days,

That'll be my biggest challenge.

Coming up on...

Boys, stop! Stop!

With jo gone, the kids go a.w.o.l...[Crying]

Lydia, unlock this door now.

And dad makes a surprise return.

First, lydia in time out? That's awesome.

[Laughs]

When "supernanny" returns.

♪♪♪♪♪

[Jo] I've been gone for three days,

So I'm very excited and curious to see how mom's done

Whilst I've been away, and I've got a little surprise for her.

Let's open up the dvd.

We can switch on this screen here...

And have chris join us.

Hi!hello!

Hello! Good to see you again.

I was pleasantly surprised

To be able to see chris again during the dvd meeting

Just to see his face.are you keen to see exactly how well your wife's done

With all your beautiful children whilst you've been out there?

Yes. I have been looking forward to this all week.

What do you have for us?

All right, let's take a look then.

You cannot go past the yellow sign.

If you go past it again,

You'll go in time out for not listening to mommy.

Eddie!

You're in time out for six minutes

For not listening and doing as mommy said.

[Crying]

Lydia, unlock this door now,

Or you will go to time out

For not listening and doing as mommy said.

You are in time out for locking mommy out of the house

And not listening and doing as I said

When I told you to unlock it.

I put you in time out

Because you did not listen and do as mommy said.

Sorry.

Hug and kisses.sorry!

Hugs and kisses.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I want a real hug.

That's not a real hug. I want a real eddie hug.

Give me real hugs.

Lydia, mommy put you in time out

Because you locked me out of the house,

And when I told you to unlock the door, you didn't.

You ready to say, "sorry, mommy"?sorry, mommy.

Hugs and kisses. Oh, there we go. Kisses.

Go play.

I can see chris smiling there.yeah.

Wow. First, lydia in time out? Oh, my gosh. Wow!

[Laughs]

But two of 'em? Well done.

That's awesome.

When I arrived, chris, beckie was putting

The plasma cars into time out, not the children,

So we've come far, sir.i was doing toy jail.

This works better-- a lot better.

And the most important thing that you did

Was to follow through completely.way to go, sweetie.

Thank you.so let's take a look at bedtime.

Look at your lights now. What do you think about that?

I want you to remember...why?

As you get in your beds that you are safe.

And you can sleep in your beds all night long,

In your own spaces,

Because mommy keeps you safe.

[Kisses]

Good night.

Good night, girls.

[Kisses] good night, lovey.

♪♪♪♪♪

So do you have any, uh, bedtime issues now?

Not really.did you hear that, chris?

[Laughs]i did. I look forward to coming home to that.

[Laughs] it's been a long time since we had our own bed, huh?and we can sleep in it

Instead of getting dog-piled by four kiddos.

That is awesome.

Let's take a look at the kids' listening.

Okay, lydia, that shirt that you threw--

I need you to go bring that back to mommy, please. Now.

Elena! Elena, stop!

Boys, stop!

Stop!

Lydia!

[Scoffs]it just goes to show you,

As quick as they can learn, if it's not followed through,

Then they get lazy with it as well.yeah.

It has to be consistent in order for it to be remembered

And just become natural for them to just do instinctively.

And they're the things that we'll work on today

So that you can sharpen that up

So that we see that just fall into place.[Snaps fingers]

Chris, what do you think about what you've just seen

And what you've heard?it's just fantastic to see, really puts my mind at ease.

She can control the kids. They work with her.

They're a team again. There's just this burden

That she doesn't have to carry anymore.

She's not carrying it anymore.

Chris, I'm gonna get busy with beckie

And continue doing what's necessary.

I'm gonna say good-bye to you. Be safe.

Thank you, supernanny. Sweetie, I love you.i love you, too. Thank you.

I miss you. Kiss the kids for me.mwah.

[Blows kiss]we're not out the woods yet. We do need to do more stuff,

But I'm eager to get going with you 'cause I know you are.yes.

So let's get to it.all right, sounds great. Thank you.

Coming up on...

Jo has one last surprise for this family.

Who would like to see what's on this dvd?[Beckie gasps]

When "supernanny" returns.

♪♪♪♪♪

Where's our ears? Touch our ears.[Elena] here.

Where's our head?

Where are our earlobes?

I could see from watching the dvd

That these kids are still having trouble listening

And taking direction from mom.

So I brought in a little game.

We play this game by giving each child

A chart that shows us images.

They'll hear a noise.

They're to step onto the correct image.

Not only does this game help the kids with listening,

But also it helps with their vocabulary as well

In identifying the images that they see,

Especially for lydia and eddie,

Who have only been in the states for three months.

So listen. When you--

Okay, stop there.the kids weren't listening, and so I stepped in.

As soon as you see them turning their heads to you

Or looking elsewhere, you've gotta be able to tell them

What you need them to do

In order to have that eye-to-eye contact.

All right. Garrett, lydia, elena, eddie,

I need everybody's eyes on mommy.[Eddie] mommy, me.

You're doing a good job, eddie. All right, what mommy's

Going to do is I'm gonna press some sound,

And you're going to find the square

That matches that sound and stand on it. Ready?

[Cow moos]

C... Cow!

Wow!yeah, cow. Well done, everyone. On the cow.

[Siren wails]

Fire truck![Shouts indistinctly]

Jo said the point of the game was to really work

On the kids' listening skills.[Water running]

Where water comes out of, eddie. Where water comes out of, lydia.

That's right--faucet.

It also had the ability to help

Eddie and lydia improve their english vocabulary

Because they've only been speaking english

For very few months.

[Bugle playing]aah!

The kids were pretty excited by the game,

And they took to it very quickly, so I think

It's definitely something that we're gonna do regularly.

[Jo] yeah.[Beckie] good job.

Children, can I ask a question?

Who would like to see what daddy has to say on this dvd?[Beckie gasps]

Daddy![Beckie] a video from daddy!

[Jo] I had one very last surprise for these kids.

They loved watching their dad on the video call,

But they're not gonna get to do that every day,

And so I had dad do a little video of himself

That they can play anytime they want to.come on, lydia.

♪ The itsy-bitsy spider went up the water spout ♪

♪ Down came the rain and washed the spider out ♪

I thought it was excellent 'cause it was a way

For the kids to actually see an active daddy

Instead of just still pictures.

[Chris] ♪ row, row, row your boat ♪

♪ Gently down the stream ♪

♪ Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily ♪[children singing along]

♪ Life is but a dream ♪

The kids were laughing and giggling,

And they really got into singing and--and marching

And playing along with him, and it was a great way for them

To play with daddy even though daddy's thousands of miles away.

[Beckie singing along]♪ and when they were up, they were up ♪

♪ And when they were down, they were down ♪

♪ And when they were only halfway up ♪

♪ They were either up or down ♪when the kids are having a day

That they really miss daddy,

They now can have a laugh with daddy,

And nothing cures the heart faster than laughter.[Jo] whoo!

[Beckie] yay![Jo] well done, daddy!

Yay, daddy!

It's time for me to go home now.

Right. Who's gonna give me a big hug?

Because I'd like some hugs.[Beckie gasps] give jo jo big hugs.

I got big hugs! Aah! I got big hugs!bye-bye, jo jo.

Bye-bye, jo jo.

[Laughs]

Bye-bye, jo jo. Pretty.bye-bye.

You have a beautiful family,

A very supportive husband...yes.

As many miles away as he is...fabulous.

And--and you should be extremely proud. You really should.

Jo has changed our family for the better,

And I can't ever thank her enough for that.

I feel hopeful for what this next year will bring.

Future looks pretty rosy for the merrill family.

Bye, eddie.[Jo] what an amazing family.

Dad's serving his country.

We've got mom holding down fort with her four kids.

She's put the effort in,

And she's certainly on the right track.

I know that I've touched them,

And I certainly know that they've touched me.