07x13 - Froebrich Family

[bunniefuu]

Tonight on "supernanny"...thank you for eating your carrots.

Jo visits the perfect family...

I'm pretty impressed with how you're putting the game away.or so she thinks.

I think I'll just go, shall i?[Laughs] please don't.

Uhh!unh-unh!

[Woman] get off my car!

Their five kids show no respect.

[Woman] do not put your hands on me.

Mom and dad take discipline to the extreme.

He'll, like, pull our ear and give us hot sauce.

[Sputtering]

And the loss of her own father has mom completely on edge.

I just feel like my whole life is spiraling out of control.

Can jo get this family to drop the facade...

You've gotta learn to let go with your family.

[Cries] I can't.

And convince these parents that there's another way...

How do you justify doing what you do?

Before it's too late?[Cries]

Get off me!

♪♪♪

Captioned by closed captioning services, inc.

[Birds chirping]

Hi, I'm in fort mill, south carolina,

Ready to help a family. Let's take a look.

Hi, we're the froebrich family.

I'm beverly.i'm erich.

We have five children. Emily is ...

Emmett is ...emma jo is ...

Emerson is ...and ember is /.

We also have my mother barbara living with us temporarily.

She came to live with us after my dad passed away last year.

It's--it's hard.it's tough losing a family member.

Hey! Get off of me!

[Emma jo] I said okay![Beverly] there's no respect in this house.

Uhh!unh-unh! Do not hit me.

Our kids fight constantly.uhh!

Mm!no hit.

[Beverly] hitting is a pretty big problem...ow!

Pinching.ow!

Any kid of bodily harm.do not put your hands on me.

Emerson won't think twice about hitting me.

I've got my work cut out here, I can tell you that much.

You're stupid, mommy!

Discipline is something wedefinitelyneed to work on.

I used to spank my kids, but I've been trying not to

Because obviously it wasn't working.go straight up to your room.

You can wait till daddy gets back. Go.

I have a much shorter fuse than beverly does.get off me!

Ooh!

Yes, I will go to the spanking level.[Crying]

...but I have to be mean and give you spankings

For you to listen 'cause that's what I have to do.[Emmett] and you said--

Spoon?

Come out of bed? You got it.

What is this father doing?!

[Beverly] I really don't want him to spank my kids,

But he does.i guess I don't give too much benefit of a doubt.

I'll thr*aten hot sauce.[Grunts]

[Sputtering]

Oh, I'm not having that. I'm gonna have to go in

And talk to this father, I'll tell you that much.

Homework.homework is always a big issue.

Emmett argues about reading and studying.mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

I want you to finish the book and stop raising your eyebrows.

I don't want to.we get to a breaking point. I just give up.

No.yes!

No.yes!

Fine. I'm done.

Everybody's throwing in the towel

And tempers are taking over.

[Voice breaks] there are days that I go to bed and think,

I wonder what it would be like not having five kids,

And how much easier it would be.

[Beverly] get off my car![Cries]

I don't know how in the world to get the respect.

I said I don't like you!

Supernanny, our family's in utter chaos.we're just falling apart,

And we need you to glue us back together.

Respect needs to go back into your house.

I'll see you soon.

♪♪♪

[Rings doorbell]

Hello. Pleased to meet you.hello, supernanny. We're so glad you're here.

I was excited to know that, okay,

Now we can get started on getting out lives back.

Erich. How are you?hi. Very well, thank you.

Hi, emma. Pleased to meet you. I'm jo jo.

[Ember] mommy!hi, emmett. Nice to meet you.

And what's your name?emerson.

Emerson. Pleased to meet you, emerson. Hi, ember.

[Beverly] that works.hi. That'll do.

Hi, emily. How you doing?good.

I want you to do what you would normally do

So that I'm able to observe.

Given what I'd just seen in the taxi, I was expecting chaos.

But as the family sat down for lunch,

I saw a different picture.

[Emma jo] can I try some of that, please?

Thank you for eating your carrots

And not giving me a hard time.

Didn't I ask you once not to ride on that?oh, please?

No. It'll break.

I'm pretty impressed with how you're putting the game away.

[Jo] I didn't know really what was going on here.

Everyone was acting so polite.

Oh, it's a perfect family. I think I'll just go, shall i?

[Laughs] please don't.

You wouldn't know, would you?

You would not know.

It was very obvious

That everyone was on their best behavior because of me.

And so when the kids went outside to play,

I thought I'd get from them what a normal day is like.

We tackle each other a lot and that stuff.

Mouthing off and...[Emerson] and spitting.

How does your mom discipline you?

[Emma jo] she doesn't really discipline.

And my dad'll discipline us very badly.

And what do you mean when you say "discipline"?

Spank us.[Emma jo] spank us... [Speaks indistinctly]

And he'll follow us up the stairs with a spoon,

And when we get up there, smack us.

And he'll, like, pull our ear and give us hot sauce.

[Jo] I'm not gonna lie. It's a little bit worrying

To hear kids talk about their dad's harsh discipline

In such a casual way.

But I wonder if he's gonna act like that in front of me.

A little later, emerson started to kick off,

And the first cracks started to appear.

[Emerson] I can break this.[Beverly] do not break that.

I can.do not.

Iwill.[Erich] well, what's gonna happen if you do that?

Are you gonna--

[Thud]ow. Don't kick me.

That's whatyouget.hey. [Whistles]

Time out.

I'm coming!

Quit your screamin'. Or what comes next?

You want hot sauce?no.

Okay, then.

Don't look at me!

That's not very nice.

Don't look at me!

Can you apologize to nanny jo?

And apologize to mommy for your behavior?no.

Then we're gonna stay in time out for a while.

[Jo] and even though dad was holding it down,

My gut instinct was telling me that dad as acting different

Than what he'd normally do.

Couple minutes and then we'll try this again, okay?

I probably held back a little bit

Where I normally wouldn't have.

If jo was not there, he probably would have gotten hot sauce.

All right, are you ready to come out of time out, mister?

[Emerson] yes.all right. So what do we have to do?

All right.

[Jo] emerson never did apologize to me,

But as far as dad was concerned, time out was over.

I think that if I hadn't have been there,

The hot sauce or the wooden spoon would've come out.

Coming up on...

[Beverly] you have to do these things.[Emmett whines]

Mom and emmett go head-to-head over homework.

I'mnotyelling at you. Look at me.[Cries] you are.

And jo puts mom and dad on the spot.

What are you going to do

When your children become old enough to smack you back?

Nobody's thinking about that.

When "supernanny" returns.

♪♪♪

[Jo] later on in the afternoon,

I had a chance to meet beverly's mom barbara,

Who has been living with the family for over a year now

Since her husband passed away.

And I actually got to hear her take on the family.

Most of the time, it's chaos.

They're very, very active children.you help out here and there.

I help out.but are they-- are they dependent on you?

No. I feel my daughter's very controlling.

She feels so put together. "Don't tell me what to do."

Beverly has major control issues.

If she doesn't orchestrate everything herself,

She can get snippy.

Okay. Thank you, mother.bye-bye.

[Jo] and shortly after, I got to see

Exactly what barbara was talking about.go get your homework.

Don't make faces at me. Just go get it.

It was time for emmett to do his homework.

I could see that tension was building up.

You need to study your social studiesevery night.

And I know we've talked about this because I've told you

That you need to bring you soc--hello?

Look at me. I'm talking to you.

Homework is a big issue in our house.

Homework is a constant battle.

[Beverly] this is a huge test coming up.

[Speaks indistinctly]stop crying. Stop crying.

You don't need to cry.

You just need to take a little responsibility.you're yelling at me.

Listen to me. I'mnotyelling at you.[Cries] you are.

Look at me. Why don't you take a break?

Go up in your room and do a little bit of reading?no.

Read a chapter in your book.no!

Emmett, these are things you have to do!

You have to do these things. Can you please read a chapter

While you're up there?[Emmett] no!

So what happens to the homework?

It'll get done eventually... With a fight.

[Jo] what a cop-out.

Mom told emmett to go up into his room

Because she didn't want to deal with the situation,

And so she throws in the towel,

And then nothing is now going to get achieved.

What made you cry?i was frustrated...

Uh-huh.

And she was just making it more frustrated

When she was raising her voice at me.

I don't like it when people... [Whispers] raise their voices.

And that made you upset because mom started getting cross.

Obviously, there's a lot of frustration

Going on in this house.

I mean, there's parental issues to deal with,

And also, the loss of a family member.

It can be overwhelming.

It's been a tough year, hasn't it?yes.

I've had experience myself with losing a parent.

It's a loss that totally has you feeling

Overwhelmed and out of control.

I don't know. I just feel like

My whole life is spiraling out of control.

Not my whole life, but my family.

So you're very uncomfortable with not having control?

Mm-hmm. I am a control freak.

Do you think that's been heightened by, obviously,

The impact of losing your father?possibly.

[Sniffles]

Sorry.

Don't be.

I didn't even get to stay with my family.

The day after his funeral, we left.

[Chuckles] life went on.

What support did you have

With respect to dealing with your bereavement?

Here?yes.

None.

How'd it affect the kids?

My kids were pretty close with him...

[Sighs]

Even though we live so far away.

[Jo] when you lose a family member

And you haven't the time that you so need to be able to heal,

Those overwhelming feelings can interfere

In the running of a home.

But the more that she tries to control that situation,

The more that she realizes, actually,

She has no control at all.

There really is a lot that needs to be addressed here,

And I really do hope

That these parents are very open and willing

To listen to what I have to say.

I saw so much in the taxicab.

The biggest thing here is discipline.

You both need to step up and take control

And have that authority when necessary

Through an action of consequences

That allow them to think about their behavior,

Not corporal punishment.

What is the message

That you're trying to convey to the children?

"I'm just gonna grab 'em by their ear, and you know what?

"I'm gonna hurt them and pinch them

And lead them up the stairs by their earlobe so that it hurts.

"And you know what?

"When they say something that I don't appreciate,

"I'll just go and put hot sauce on their mouth,

"So that it burns their tongue.

When I get really, really angry, I'll just give them a smack."

How do you justify doing what you do?

It's the only thing that seems to work for me.

That seems to work? Does it?

Probably not very effective.

Hot sauce does not teach children

How to behave.

What do we do when emmett turns around and says,

"Ha! You put a dab, and it doesn't hurt.

It doesn't burn anymore."

What are you gonna do, put the whole pot in his mouth?

What are you gonna do when emma jo laughs at you

Because you spanked her, and then she looks at you

And says, "it doesn't hurt"? Smack her harder?

What are you going to do

When your children become old enough to smack you back?

Nobody's thinking about that.

I am now.

What do you want, erich?

Peace. Patience.

What do you think will allow you to have more patience?

If there's an effective means of discipline,

And I don't have to go to the extreme.

I certainly don't want to have to hit them.

How would you feel as a father?

I'd be proud of myself.

I'd be doing a good job.

To actually sit here as a father

And not feel proud of how you're parenting--

That's not a good place to be.

Let's talk about homework.

You're not listening to emmett.

You've spent a lot of time arguing

And not resolving.

When emmett turns around, through his emotion, and says,

"I'm so frustrated. I'm really..." And he starts to cry,

It's "I don't want to hear it right now.

I don't want to hear this right now."

I'm sure you must be really frustrated right now,

And you know what? I can see you're really upset.

Work with me here together.

Let's look at how we can make this enjoyable,

Because right now, it's not working.

It's definitely not.

Beverly, there's talk about your control.

Well, I like things done my way.

Give me what areas.i like my clothes folded a certain way...

Mm-hmm.the silverware drawer being a certain way,

My closets being set up a certain way.

It shows you wanting to control certain areas

Because everything else is out of control,

And it's been heightened by the loss of your father.

I do try to just let go,

But it's hard.

It has been a year

Since you lost your beloved father, beverly,

And I want to talk about that.

I don't believe that there's been an opportunity really

For you guys to really understand

That you are grieving,

That you are going through bereavement,

That the whole family are hurting

In their own individual way.

I try to let my kids talk about it,

But not ever going through this before,

I don't know how to deal with it.

What I would love to be able to do is to help you all

To feel very comfortable with being able

To at least mention grandpa,

To start grieving and bereaving

And going through the stages of that.

Sounds scary.it is,

Because the emotions make you feel like they could k*ll you.

But I'm still here.[Chuckles]

They don't.yeah.

We're gonna knuckle down and get some hard work done.

That something you both want?i want it.

And I quite need it.

You do need it.meeting with jo was an eye-opener.

A lot of things you kinda don't think about

When you're doing 'em.

I'm, uh, ready to make some changes.

Coming up on...

Dad makes a promise to the family...

I need to not be spanking.yay! [Laughs]

No more.[Bleep]

But will emerson drive him to break it?

Daddy is an idiot!

When "supernanny" returns.

♪♪♪

[Jo] respect in this house really doesn't exist...

[Grunts]

And dad's approach to discipline leaves a lot to be desired.

Let's all take a seat.

Things do need to change, and what I want to do is work

With this family in making sure that each member know

How they behave and that they're accountable.

Back a long, long time ago in london,

You would go to a park,

And you would stand on your soapbox...[Speaks indistinctly]

And you would basically talk about anything, okay?

This soapbox is gonna be used for a different purpose.

We get a chance to stand up on the soapbox and talk

About the things that we feel we need to be better at doing.

Okay? So you're on the soapbox, emma jo.

Listening...

Oh, that's very good.[Erich] all right.

[Jo] one by one, they all went up on the soapbox and spoke

About the things that they feel they need to work on.[Fusses]

[Ember] aah! [Crying]oh. Saying "stupid."

And spitting at people.

And spitting at people. Yeah, I agree.[Emerson] go, emmett!

[Erich] all right, emmett!respect.

Respect. Fair enough.[Jo] these kids know. They're really smart.

They know what they shouldn't be doing.

By saying it out loud, you're actually showing the rest

Of the family that you're aware of the things that you do

That are wrong.arguing, listening, temper...

I was very proud of my kids that they were able to stand up there

And talk about the things that they could work on.

Ember, do you have anything to say up there?

Yeah? What do you have to say?and pushing.

That's right.ember.

But the kids aren't the only ones

Who have to be accountable for their own behavior.

I will try not to be controlling. Respect...

And I think that kinda covers all of it.[Boy] ow! Stop!

[Jo] okay, daddy. Up you get.

[Erich] I need to have more patience.

I need to not be spanking anymore.

[Laughs] yay! Yay!

No more?

Um, using the spoon, using the belt...

Yeah!oh!

Pulling ears...[Emily] thank you!

And hot sauce, too.[Jo] emma jo-- she jumped up and down.

She was like, "yes! No more smacking!"

No more.[Emma jo laughs] yay!

I felt good about that

Because when he does that spanking and hot sauce,

It really does hurt.

Okay, thank you, daddy. Okay?

Getting up there in front of the family, it's like,

Everybody heard you say it, and now you gotta carry through.

The hard part is following through now.

[Jo] mom and dad have agreed

Not to use hot sauce and wooden spoons,

So now what I really need to do is teach them a proper time out.

First thing you wanna do is to give your child a warning,

Explain why he's sitting in time out,

And you set the timer for one minute per their age.

Are we comfortable with the steps?

And when emerson kicked off at dinnertime,

It gave mom and dad the opportunity

To put their knowledge to the test.[Emerson] I don't like milk!

Look at me. Look at me. Look at me.

I don't have to listen to you if you be mean.

If you--if you leave this table, you will go in time out.

Do you understand that?

[Grunts] yes.

Okay, so climb up in your chair, please.

[Laughs]

Come on.[Jo] no talking.

Mommy is putting you in time out for not listening.

For how much minutes?

Four minutes.

[Jo] say nothing.oh!

[Beep]

I don't want to anymore!

Idiot!

[Banging]

[Beverly] he tried everything he could to get our attention.

It was definitely a challenge.

Stop it! Uhh!normally when I put him in time out,

We would answer him and then let him out.

This time, we ignored him.

Erich, I would say you follow through with it,

And you carry on serving dinner, because they need to see that

You're working on the same page when it comes to discipline.

You're both doing it together.

Whee.

So I took over, put emerson back in time out.

He wasn't very happy with that...

[Bleep]

Calling me quite an array of names...

Daddy is an idiot!

Screaming, yelling.

Daddy!

He was definitely pushing the buttons.daddy!

[Crying]

[Jo] after trying everything to test his parents,

Emerson did sit there for four minutes,

But the battle wasn't over yet.

You were put in time out for not listening.

Oh, I'm not listening.

Are you ready to apologize?no.

[Jo] all right, you gotta walk away, dad.

He's not apologizing, so you gotta walk away.

[Sobbing]

This is about you learning to be composed,

Because this is a little boy that is out of control...[Emerson shouting indistinctly]

And you do not need to go there. It makes you feel remorseful.

You don't have to be in that place.

Daddy!

[Jo] dad just remained calm and patient,

And a few minutes later, it paid off.

Are you ready to apologize now?

[Emerson] yes.

[Grunts][beverly] I know.

Emerson...

They'll be no more fresh voices...okay.

And naughty behavior...okay.

Or you're gonna go right back in the time out.

Okay.all right.

Tonight's outcome without hot sauce

Or the hot sauce thr*at or the spanking thr*at

Definitely makes me feel a lot better.

[Jo] the next day, I wanted to address emmett's homework.

This has created a lot of stress for this family

Because beverly always wants to dictate how it's done.

This is a huge test coming up.

[Speaks indistinctly]stop crying. Stop crying.

[Jo] so what I'm going to give them

Is some useful tips for homework so that it's less stressful.

The first one is-- is "let him decide."

Let emmett decide what homework he's gonna do first.

The second is to listen

And then to respond.

Number three--look for solutions and not for arguments.

Number four-- encourage effort.

When you see that you're doing very well

And that's noticed, how does that make you feel?

Good.of course.

And number five--be there if needed. If not, step back.

So I'd love to put this into practice now,

And let's do some homework.

[Beverly] I think emmett liked the idea

Of being able to take control back of his homework

Instead of me telling him what to do, when to do,

And how to do it.this is a hard one.

Okay. All right. All right.i'm gonna do this one first.

Call me if you need me.

Emmett completed his math assignment--no fuss at all.

But things started to go downhill

When he asked mom to check his work.

It looks good. You might wanna review this one.

[Emmett] daddy was supposed to check it with his calculator.

[Beverly] no, do not use a calculator,

Because if you're using a calculator,

It's not really teaching you.i know. I'm not gonna correct it.

But what I'm saying is if you use a calculator,

You're not using your head to figure it out,

And then you're not learning.but I already did it.

And you're not exercising your brain.

[Jo] I suspect before long, this will turn into a classic fight

Between mom and emmett, and I wanted to remind her

That this is about looking for solutions, not an argument.it takes two people to argue.

And if it keeps going over and over again,

You have to make that decision when to cut the conversation.

"Hey, we've discussed this already."[Grunts]

"We're not gonna go round and round in circles,"

And the conversation's over.instead, I suggested

That mom help him work through the problem.

"Be there if needed. If not, step back."

You're needed for this one.[Speaks indistinctly]

[Beverly] mm-hmm.emmett's gonna always have that argumentative personality,

And I just need to learn how to cope with it

And stop it when it turns into an argument.

Add it--.

Okay. And you know what? You're right.

You know what's fabulous about this?what?

That you came over, and he worked through it, and we have

Solutions and not arguments. So well done, the pair of you,

'Cause that's what it's all about.

High five, emmett. Good job.

Coming up on...

Jo wants mom to give up control.

You've gotta learn to let go with your family.

But will it prove too much for mom to handle?

[Crying] I can't.

When "supernanny" returns.

♪♪♪

[Jo] after recently losing her dad,

Beverly just feels like she's got no control over anything,

So she's trying to control absolutely everything,

And it's just making matters worse.

So today, I'm really gonna work on the issue with her.

What are the things that you know as a mother

Your kids are old enough to do,

But you control it

Because of the "I've gotta have it just so,"

Looking just right, being just so?laundry,

'Cause if it's not folded the right way, it bothers me.

I don't like anybody loading my dishwasher,

Putting my groceries away,

Some cleaning-- a lot of cleaning,

Setting the table, cooking...

[Jo] mom has an endless catalogue of tasks

That nobody's allowed to do but herself.

No wonder she's feeling overwhelmed.packing.

She won't let us pack our own stuff.

You're obsessive about particular things.

Yeah.

She had me make a list of different things

That I feel like I need control over,

And it really made me realize how controlling I am.

I'll have you come into my space,

And then we'll practically talk about the situation.

Mom needs to let go

And delegate so that when the bigger issues come up,

She has the energy to be able to deal with them.

But as we know, letting go isn't always that easy.

We've got laundry and we've got towels, haven't we?

What else we got there?

Cooking, which is important. What else? Setting the table.

You gotta set the table. And then we've got the vacuuming

And that's a big problem as well.

'Cause you know what?

When you haveso muchcontrol

Over things that are not necessary,

It creates this stress

And the inability for your children

To do the things that allow them to grow

And have independence and become more self-sufficient.

I think jo wanted me to see

You can't carry everything. It's impossible.

You--you can't fit that much on your shoulders.

You've gotta learn to let go

With your family and with yourself. So let go.

[Emmett giggles]

[Crying] I can't.yeah, you can.

Yeah, you can, because I'm gonna teach you

How to let go and be happier.

[Emma jo] oh, no!

[Speaks indistinctly][jo] it's okay.

Aah!it's okay.

Emma! Emma?

[Emma jo speaks indistinctly]come here. Come here.

Come here.

[Jo] and really, that showed me

The seriousness of this situation

When your children are so scared

That you just may drop something on the floor.

What happens here if mommy drops the eggs? What happens?

Then there'll just be a mess and we'll clean it up,

And I'll let go.

Here's cooking.

Wanna help mommy cook? You like it, right?

Exactly, so mommy has to let go of that.

Letting go was really hard, but it was definitely a relief.

[Laughs][emerson claps] yay!

[Emmett laughs][emerson] yay! Yay!

[Sniffles]do you understand what I'm saying, huh?

Do you understand what I'm saying?

It's a big deal.

You know what? When you let go, life gets easier...[Sniffles]

Because there are certain things that you need to accept

And certain things that allow everybody else to grow

In a family.

This is still a work in progress for mom.

But what's gonna be important is that the kids step up now

And they help her with that endless list.

So I'm gonna introduce a chore system.

Okay, today's specials. I have this board up here

Because this is all about delegating.

So today's specials will be what you write down on this board

Every day, so that these kids can at least do one thing

That they'll get done as a responsibility in the home.

It can change every day?yeah, every day.

Does "rub mommy's feet" count?uh, that could be for erich.

[Laughs]

I love the specials board.

This is a way for me to let go, and allowing them

To have the opportunity to do these things is great.

Love it.

Mom did a really great job delegating the chores,

So hopefully this will make her feel a lot better

Because there'll be less stress.

[Jo] okay, everybody off to the picnic rugs!

Before I leave, I have one last tool for this family.

It's been incredibly difficult for them

To heal from losing grandpa.

This tool will allow them

To actually start talking about the good times.

This treasure chest is a very important one.

We are going to fill this treasure chest

With special things that remind us of grandpa,

Things that you feel

Will be important for everybody to share as a family--

Notes and photos

And little memorabilia of things you did--

Because it is important for the kids to be able

To talk about grandpa.

And hey, I'm gonna say for the adults as well.i got very emotional

Because we don't really talk about my husband victor.

I think that's very important for these kids and for beverly.

So the additional stuff that I have in this treasure chest

Is a folder of artwork which allows our younger one, emerson,

To be able to draw pictures for grandpa.

And I have here for emma jo...

Whee!

And emmett and emily

Your own thought pads.[Emma jo giggles]

So when you're thinking of grandpa,

I want you to be able to put it into your thought pads.

[Emmett] I really like the treasure chest 'cause I can

Share how I feel about my grandfather passing away.

I'm happy that we got notebooks to write in about poppy.

[Jo] and last but not least,

I wanted to give you all one of your own pads as well.

[Beverly] I like the treasure chest

Because it will be full of treasures,

Memories that we have of my dad.

[Barbara] thank you so much.oh, you're welcome. You're welcome.

[Jo] I'm going for several days, but I'll be back.

Not having jo around for the next few days

Is gonna be a challenge. That's gonna be hard.letting go--

You've done really well, so continue working on that.

All right, remember the steps of time out--voice firm,

Follow through.

I am concerned that, uh, we might slip a little bit

And kinda go back to some of the old ways of things,

Especially if we get buttons, uh, pushed.

Hang in there. Bye-bye.will do, thank you.

The froebrichs have come a long way.

We've got dad dealing with his temper,

So let's hope that the hot sauce and the wooden spoon

Stay where they belong.

And mom's dealing with her controlling issues.

But hey, couple of days with me gone...

Let's see how they do.

Coming up on...

You move.[Beverly] ah!

Dad leaves grandma high and dry.

Erich, you should've gone straight in.

And homework puts mom to the test.

But right now--it's my test!

It is your test.and you can't touch it!

When "supernanny" returns.

And now...

How do you help your toddler feel more at ease

About taking baths?

"A"--make it part of a chore checklist that they must do

Or there'll be consequences,

"B"--let it go.

If they don't wanna take a bath one night,

It's not that big a deal,

Or "c"--introduce your children to water slowly

So they can build trust and confidence with it.

Find out the answer when we return.

And now...

How do you help your toddler feel more at ease

About taking baths?

"A"--make it part of a chore checklist that they must do

Or there'll be consequences,

"B"--let it go.

If they don't wanna take a bath one night,

It's not that big a deal,

Or "c"--introduce your children to water slowly

So they can build trust and confidence with it.

The answer is "c."

Introduce your children to water slowly

So they can build trust and confidence.

This does happen through exploration as well as hygiene,

And, of course, lots of toys in the bathtub,

♪♪♪

When I first arrived,

The froebrichs were dealing with some serious issues.

Dad had a very severe temper-- hot sauce and wooden spoons...

If I have to be mean

And give you spankings for you to listen...[Emmett] and you said--

Then that's what I have to do.and mom just needed to control entirely everything.

So let go.[Crying] I can't.

I just hope that they haven't

Slipped back into their old ways whilst I've been gone.

The first one we're gonna take a look at is mom letting go.

Hmm.let's see how well you did.

Okay, we're gonna let this cook but we don't want it to boil,

So we have to keep stirring it, okay?i wanna stir.

Okay, just be super, super careful

'Cause it's super, superhot.

[Boy humming]

Okay, dump it in.

Good job.

How nice to see!

Kids in the kitchen,

And you're stirring away and doing your thing.[Laughs]

You're becoming more consciously aware of how you're behaving.

It's tough, right? But you can do it.[Chuckles]

It was tough, but I did it.lovely.

Got it?

You want me to show you how to hold it

So you can get it really good? Here. Can I help you?

Can I show you how--okay.

You can brush it off to the side, too,

So it falls in the dirt. All right, let's put the mat back.

Then you get the two steps.

Um, I think I might've misjudged that--that job for her, the--

She struggled a little with the broom and moving the mat.

[Clears throat]okay, so--so let go of it, all right?

Because, you know, if--imagine me asking you to do something

And then hovering over you

While you're emptying the drawers, okay?right.

You can have a look and see how well they've down afterwards,

So they start to learn that when it's not done

And if they do get lazy in between

That they're gonna have to go back and do it a second time.right.

So get it done the first time right.right.

Okay, let's take a look at homework.

Come here, emmett. You and I are gonna go over this.

Why?'Cause miss ostery wants you to.

Miss ostery thinks you know this material,

And she just wants to make sure that it's not the...

Excitement of everything go--

If you wanna pull yourself together

And go over this with me, then we can talk.

But right now--my test!

It is your test.

And you can't touch it!

Give me your test, please.my test.

I've already looked at it.

Okay, I don't care what I got on a freakin' test!

It's a freakin'test!

Why does itreallymatter about a freakin' test?!

He just doesn't stop. [Chuckles]

We know that emmett is combative.

We know that he'll argue. It's about your behavior changing.

One of you needs to be able to say, "I'm feeling really angry

Right now. We'll come back to this in half an hour,"

And it's not gonna be emmett.

So you have to learn to step back.right.

Just take a breather.okay.

Let's take a look at time outs.[Speaks indistinctly] my milk!

[Beverly] but you don't have to eat what's on your plate.

Just have to drink your milk. Study for your science.you move.

[Beverly] ah!

You cannot hit your grandma. Come on. Right here.

Stop!sit right--

No!all right, then stand right there.

Idiot.

Erich, when that little son of yours

Smacked his grandmother in the face,

You should've gone straight in.

"Any more of this behavior and you are going in time out.

And trust me, you're gonna be in trouble."

At that point, I didn't know what--

I thought grandma should be the one to...yeah.

Discipline him 'cause--

Yeah, but these are your kids behaving that way to grandma,

When you saw that barbara was in that little pickle,

You should've gone straight in there.

[Beeping]

[Emerson whines]

I can get out now?[Barbara speaks indistinctly]

Can I get out now?!

Can i?

I'm ready to apologize.

Are you ready to apologize to grandma?

You are? Okay.

The whole thing was a shambles.

He actually dictated when he would say "sorry."

No, no, no. You're in charge of discipline full stop.

You need to learn the steps properly.

And, um, I think it would be nice if barbara

Can execute those steps as well. Treasure chest.

We're gonna go in and put some stuff in poppy's box.

I have some special stuff that I wanna put in here.

[Emily] is that mine?mm-hmm.

I knew it.you know who bought it?

Poppy.he went out the day you were born and bought this.

[Emerson] mommy!what?

I have a picture. Yeah.you wanna put that in there? Okay. We can put that in there.

"I love my poppy. He played lots of games with me."

[Speaks indistinctly]you wanna put that in the box?

[Barbara] I think that's a very good treasure.that's absolutely beautiful.

So needed, so... Healing for all of you.

It's allowing you all just to embrace

The place that you're in right now,

And take each day as it comes,

Because that's--that's all you can do.

So look, we're not out of the woods

Because we do have some work to do.

We certainly do need to work on discipline. That's necessary.

We want you to move forward.

So on that note, we'll get busy doing some work.

Okay. Thank you.

Coming up on...

I wanted to give you this.

Jo has a surprise for mom.

Thank you.

And will grandma take a stand?

Stop that behaviorright now

Or you're gonna go into time out.

When "supernanny" returns.

♪♪♪

The loss of grandpa impacted the whole of this family,

And that's why it was important to bring in the treasure chest.

But beverly never had the chance to be able

To just spend time with her family back in new york,

Grieving for the loss of her father.

It's very hard to explain to somebody what it feels like

To lose your parent.oh, yeah, it's very hard.

It's very hard.

It was incredibly important for me and my brother...[Sniffles]

To be there for each other.right.

Because there's nobody else that feels the same way as you...right.

As your sibling.right.

But I guess right now it's quite difficult for you on the phone

To talk about how you're feeling.

It's hard.

You can't get a hug...yeah.

On the phone.right. It'snotthe same. Mnh-mnh.

And so what I wanted to do for you

Was to make sure

That tonight you fly out to new york

And actually go and spend time with your brother.

Really?

You're gonna do everything

That you weren't given the opportunity to do

Because you had to come home to those five kids.

[Sniffles]

I wanted to give you this.thank you.

When jo told me I was going to new york, I was overwhelmed.

It's gonna be an emotional trip for me, but it is important

'Cause I really need to spend time with my brother.

I just need time for me.

You need to.[Laughs]

You need to go away.

You need to be able to do that.[Sniffles]

You gotta take care of you

And go and do what you need to do.thank you.

You're welcome.overall, I think she's really excited

That she's got this opportunity,

And I think it'll do her a world of good. It really will.

And this will really allow her to come back to her family

Ready to deal with

Whatever comes up with regards to the kids.[Horn honks]

I got it.[Kisses] good-bye. Okay?

Saying good-bye to jo was hard. She's a very caring person.

[Kisses] be a good girl. I love you.

The woman's got it going on. She's my new hero.

I'm definitely gonna miss jo.

♪♪♪

[Jo] with mom back in new york,

I realized that dad and grandma still need more work

On discipline.

Bringing them together so they could both practice

Was just incredibly important.

The time out steps. Number one--warning.

Number two--when you take them to the time out,

You explain why they're in time out.[Barbara] okay.

Number three--you walk away.

Number four--you go back and you explain for the second time.

Five--sorries. Six--it's no grudge. We just move on...okay.

To the next thing that we're doing...i get it.

Or go back to what we were doing first and foremost. Okay?okay.

Now the steps are covered, what I wanna do

Is teach dad and grandma the correct tone

So that when they gives a discipline,

The kids know that they mean business.

Watching emerson with the pair of you,

He feels that he can take liberties

And behave the way he does.

Take him by the hand. Okay, you bring him in front of you.

"That is unacceptable.

"There will be none of that behavior.

"If I see any more of this nonsense,

You're going straight into time out." Let's just practice tone.

Stop that behaviorright now

Or you're gonna go into time out.

Ooh. Look at you. That's what I'm talking about.

She did really well.[Barbara] when jo showed me the steps

And worked through the steps with me,

That made me feel much more confident. I think it's great.

Okay, let's hear it, erich.stop that behavior right now

Or you'll be going into time out.okay, love it.

You gotta be able to switch onthis...[Snaps fingers]

Without the anger fueling it behind.

You gotta be able to switch over.[Snaps fingers]

Soon as you see that behavior, switch.

[Erich] she lets you know when you screwed up

And what you need to focus on.by the time you're angry, guess what?

The hand's coming out as well and the spoon's coming out

And the sauce is coming. That's no good.

It's good news when any family decides to recognize

What effective discipline is and the importance of it,

And then really apply it in their own homes.

Hey, I think we're good here. You did extremely well.

♪♪♪

Well, I'm going to leave you both.

Hey! Mwah! [Laughs]mwah! [Laughs]

I definitely feel that I've changed,

Definitely for the better.barbara.

Pleasure.pleasure.

The whole experience has been wonderful,

And it's only gonna have this family move forward

In a more positive way.bye-bye. [Kisses]

I'm gonna miss nanny jo.bye!

Bye.blow kiss. Mwah.

Mwah!

Mwah! Bye-bye.[Erich] thank you.

Bye!this family have come a really long way.

Dad has learnt a new effective discipline,

Mom's not controlling everything,

And this family are able to embrace grief

And celebrate grandpa.

There is a much brighter future for them.