NARRATOR: They're every
parent's worst nightmare.
Don't bite.
You're going to be sorry.
NARRATOR: Kids completely
out of control--
Give me the Kn*fe.
I want to k*ll you.
NARRATOR: And taking
over the household.
I'm the boss.
Don't do that.
NARRATOR: These families have
reached the end of the rope.
How was I supposed to
know I was going to have
three kids in two years?
NARRATOR: They're in
desperate need of help.
Shut up, everyone!
NARRATOR: They only have
one alternative left.
It's time to contact Nanny 911.
Hello.
This is Nanny 911.
NARRATOR: We've gathered a
team of world class nannies
from all over the globe.
Each week, from
Nanny Central, they
will watch a video
of a family in crisis
and decide which nanny
is best suited to help.
They will then have one week to
take our families from living
hell to a family bliss.
Give me my life back.
It's mine.
NARRATOR: Can these
families be saved?
I hate Daddy and Mommy!
It's an emotional
roller coaster.
Unless you get
this right, it's
all going to fall to pieces.
If you think you can do a
better job, get on with it.
NARRATOR: Parents of
America, help is on the way.
Nanny's here.
Nanny's here.
NARRATOR: Tonight,
Rich and Susie
Elgin named their first
child after a volcano.
- Shasta.
- Shasta.
Shasta.
NARRATOR: Now daughter
Shasta threatens
to erupt at any moment.
I don't want to live with you.
Just want to k*ll you.
NARRATOR: Her little brother and
baby sister add to the turmoil.
And while Dad escapes on his
bike every chance he gets,
Mom is stuck spinning
her wheels at home.
The kids are battling to take
control any way they can.
Daddy is dumb and stupid.
She's running the show.
NARRATOR: Can Nanny Stella get
these two unplugged parents
plugged back in?
You aren't on the same page.
Timeout.
NARRATOR: It's new age
nightmare tonight on Nanny 911.
[theme music]
Ow.
Stop!
Shasta?
No.
Time out.
I'm Susie Elgin.
I'm a stay at home mom.
I teach pilates.
No.
I have three kids.
They're driving me nuts.
I hate you.
Shasta.
I think we should ignore her.
I'm Rich Elgin, father
of three children,
and I'm a contracting
specialist.
I love bike riding.
Pick that one up,
please, Shiloh.
I think the children look
at men as authority figures.
Daddy is dumb and stupid.
When I had kids,
I didn't think
about how it was going to be.
That's not fair.
SUSIE: And I've gotten to a
point where I'm just done.
I need help.
I hate Daddy and Mommy.
Shasta is eight years old.
She's our oldest daughter.
She is very strong willed.
No.
No.
That's why we named
her after a mountain.
She's just defiant.
I'm moving out at 10.
Shasta is very
artistic, very creative.
She also tries to
manipulate the situation.
I love you a lot.
No, you don't.
RICH: Shiloh is six.
Shiloh has a hot temper.
[screaming]
SUSIE: He fights a lot.
You know, hitting
and things like that.
[shouting]
SUSIE: You're going
to break my plate.
And our youngest is Kea.
She's just turned two.
SUSIE: And I keep
looking at Kea,
like, if I don't get
it under control now,
I'm going to be in
really big trouble.
Kea, are you ready?
SUSIE: Kea mimics
everything they do.
Get off the table
now, you stupid baby.
I think I would
like my kids to grow
up and be self-actualized.
[belches]
Every human has
strengths and weaknesses.
SHASTA: He's lying.
Hey.
From day one, you
get this infant,
it cries, you soothe it.
Cries, soothes.
Cries, soothes.
Cries, soothes.
Cries, soothes.
So I don't feel like I really
know how to be a parent.
I don't know how to help you.
Go buy that picture.
I'm never saying sorry.
I think one of
the primary issues
is the relationship
between Shasta and Susie.
Now I've cut this in half.
It makes me sad.
Why?
Because that's a
picture of me and you.
I wanted them to be
the people that they're
meant to be so that their
true purpose on the planet
can be fulfilled.
I don't want to live with you.
Just want to k*ll you.
She'll say really
inappropriate things,
and I'm just like,
that's not OK.
I want Mama to die.
She just gets into the
whole drama emotion of it,
and she's like, I can't stop.
I'll k*ll myself--
I thought in this world
that dads were more involved.
I tend to back off and
let Susie take care of it.
I've been trying to clean the
kitchen for like the last hour,
and you guys are
sitting over here.
And it's not working for me.
I had no idea how much
responsibility a mom has.
[kea crying]
Bye, sweetie.
See you in a bit.
Where are you going?
For a ride.
The bike riding is
what he does to get away.
Bye.
I think the bike riding is
just about me freeing my mind.
I hate Shiloh.
I think Rich's life
works really well for him,
but I feel like I'm on a
treadmill and I can't get off.
I need an hour by myself.
No.
[screaming]
You OK?
Uh-uhn.
Things can be
hectic, so sometimes
that's hard to come home to,
and I've blown my top before.
Leave me alone.
Go.
I think he's too
hard on the kids,
and I just know that there's
an easier way to do this.
I am not going to timeout.
It's stupid.
Stupid.
You're dumb, dumb, dumb.
I'm not sure Susie can say
very often that was a good day.
SHASTA: I hate my mama.
Something has to change.
It's not fun anymore.
I don't know what
I'm going to do.
Oh, he's lying.
[screaming]
Well, ladies,
what do you think?
Mom spins her wheels
while Dad cycles off.
That's got to change.
Yes.
These children have no
respect for their parents
or for their home.
Mom's not in control
of her daughter at all.
She seems completely
intimidated by her.
Right you are, ladies.
Stella, you're no nonsense
approach to discipline
makes you the perfect choice.
Great.
Thanks.
I'm sending you to get that
Elgin family back in gear.
NANNY STELLA: I'm Nanny
Stella from Burnley
in the north of England, and
I've been a nanny for 17 years.
Leave me alone.
Go.
NANNY STELLA: I've been
summoned to Tacoma, Washington,
to get the Elgin family
on the right path.
[screaming]
Stupid.
You are stupid.
Mom.
NANNY STELLA: With three
kids ruling the house,
Mom and Dad need a little
refresher course on parenting.
It's time for Nanny Stella
to get the Elgin family
to stop spinning their wheels.
Hi.
Hello.
I'm Nanny Stella from Nanny 911.
Hi.
Nice to meet you.
I'm Susie.
- Nice to meet you too.
Come on in.
Thank you.
Hi, everyone, look who's here.
Hello.
RICH: Say hi.
NANNY STELLA: My first
impression when I
came into the house was they
were a very nice family,
the Elgin's.
They were living in
this mire of chaos.
Is there somewhere I
could put my cape and hat?
Shiloh, would you like to
hang up her cape and hat?
Yeah.
OK, thank you.
Go in.
Thank you.
Go in.
Having the nanny look at our
house and how it functions,
you know, it's a
little bit daunting.
And what happens
on the first day
is I have to just follow
you guys around the house
and make some observations.
That's weird.
So I know it
might be hard, but--
[vocalizing]
You kind of have
to forget I'm here.
I think Shasta is
just going to give
her a run for her money.
I've had experience
with children like Shasta,
but I already have her number.
As the day begins, Dad
escapes to the couch
as feeding time
begins in the kitchen.
[belching]
NANNY STELLA: I've seen better
manners at the local zoo.
And where do the kids
get their manners from?
I think the table manners
here in the Elgin family
are not acceptable.
I can't believe what I'm
seeing, but it only gets worse.
SHASTA: You're stupid.
NANNY STELLA: While Mom
was preparing a meal,
Shasta would curse her
like a sailor on leave.
You're a [bleep].
NANNY STELLA: I've never heard
such a foul mouth on a child.
Then she took to spitting at me.
Oh, and you're spitting too.
Oh, that's beautiful.
All to get attention.
Shasta Marie.
I feel like she
doesn't respect me.
NANNY STELLA: Between the
foul language, the spitting,
and the overall lack of
respect, I can't help but wonder
what's around the next corner.
Oh, this is a nice room.
Oh, my goodness.
So what happened to your room?
It looks like a whirlwind
went through here.
Yeah.
Do you leave your room
like this every day?
Shasta's not getting the
attention that she needs,
so she acts out in a
really hostile way.
She's means to me.
You hit me and punch me.
You like destroying
your brother's stuff?
Yeah.
I do it.
I don't want anything--
- Out!
- Fine.
NANNY STELLA: I'm going to
have a challenge with Shasta
because that's what
she thinks she's here
for, to challenge everybody.
It appears that I'm
not the only one Shasta
wants to challenge today.
RICH: What are you doing?
Honey, I mean--
That's way too much.
NANNY STELLA: Rich
discovers that Shasta
has used almost an entire
tube of lotion on her hands.
That's half the tube almost.
I didn't mean to.
NANNY STELLA: But he
decides to go easy on her.
Well, I'm warning
you this time.
NANNY STELLA: While Mom
has a very different
idea of how to handle it.
RICH: Well, I just
gave her a warning.
She doesn't get a warning.
OK.
Mom and Dad are so
far apart, that's why
there's so much chaos.
Stop!
NARRATOR: Later, after
a busy day for Dad,
he needs to get away.
Bye, sweetie.
See you in a bit.
Where are you going?
For a ride.
Bye.
I never get any downtime.
I don't ever get that
time to myself to relax.
I hate my mama's birthday.
I hate Daddy's birthday.
They're so dumb.
Dummy dumb.
I think the bike
riding is an escape.
Things can be hectic.
Kids can sometimes be tired
and not at their best.
It's hard to come home to.
I think there needs to be
some tweaking in our schedules.
NANNY STELLA: Susie
and Rich, but Susie
primarily is very
committed to the health
and wellness of the body.
Try to not get
any in her hair.
NANNY STELLA: But what
she's lost sight of
is the health and wellness
of their minds and hearts.
SUSIE: You're not writing on
yourselves with those markers,
are you?
SHASTA: No.
[crying]
Tell me those weren't
the permanent markers.
Get in here and wash
it off her arms now.
NANNY STELLA: Susie does
a lot of negotiating.
Shiloh, in there now.
It's continuous.
There's no stop what
you're doing right now.
This is what's going
to happen next.
SHASTA: Shiloh did it, too.
I didn't.
SHASTA: Yes, he did.
He's lying.
Hey.
SHASTA: He's lying.
NANNY STELLA: Then, at
bedtime, Shasta shows Mom
who's really running the house.
SHASTA: Mom!
SUSIE: I don't want to hear it.
want to be you.
Don't want to be near you.
Don't want to live with you.
Just want to k*ll you.
I don't care if you get k*lled.
It will be my happiest
day in my life.
NANNY STELLA: Makes me very
sad to see how angry Shasta is.
and you're going to be dead.
You're only 37 at
your death point.
Once she gets
on that mode, she
just goes and goes and goes.
Mommy?
This is your last night.
I hate you.
To me, there is no
Elgin family unit.
It's crumbling.
It's time to sit these parents
down for a serious talk.
You look scared.
Yeah.
A little bit.
Obviously first
day, I've seen a lot.
I'm feeling nervous
about Nanny's criticism
because it's somebody
criticizing the way you live.
You know, obviously, Shasta
has some serious issues
with her temper tantrums.
and you're going to be dead.
And not to mention, she
has a very foul mouth.
SHASTA: Mama, I hate you.
You're stupid.
You're a [bleep].
She's running the show.
She's in charge.
If you guys think you
are, I mean, you're not.
Shasta, she has a very high
degree of social intelligence,
and Nanny Stella's assessment
was that Shasta was trying
to manipulate Susie and I.
The sibling rivalry
between Shiloh and Shasta
is the battle of wills,
because, you know,
he sees what she gets
away with and obviously
tries to compete with that.
Shiloh, you know,
hits her, scratches her.
Stop.
And then you've got
Kea, who's modeling some
of that, the same behavior.
Kea mimics everything they
do, like hitting and yelling.
One thing that
is evident, and I
know this may be hard
to hear, but there's
a real disconnect
between you two,
and it's hurting your children.
That's what we never
expected to come up.
I feel like I've been a
really ineffective parent.
You aren't on the same page.
I don't think I was
prepared for the nanny
to come in and deal
with issues that may
be related with the parents.
I see it as a fundamental
thing in your household
that I can help with.
You could have cut
the air with a Kn*fe.
That, you know, she was
silent, he was silent.
All right?
RICH: Yeah.
But thank you so much,
and I will be back,
much to the dismay of Shasta.
All right, good night.
Nanny Stella is
just really direct.
I felt violated.
NANNY STELLA: After
a day of observation,
the problems in the
Elgin house are clear.
Susie and Rich are still
not on the same page
and the children are
still running the show.
But before I can deal
with the massive problem
of Shasta's behavior,
I need to help
Mom and Dad get it together.
It was time for me to lay down
the rules for the Elgin's.
So these are the
Elgin family rules.
More rules?
I don't think Rich feels
like we need more rules.
He thinks everything runs
really well because I'm
running it behind the scenes.
I don't want so much
structure and rigidity,
like every bit of their
lives are micromanaged.
My first rule for the house,
keep your hands to yourself.
No more hitting.
Everybody's going
to have to start
being nicer to each other,
so not fighting so much.
The second one is
no more sassy mouth.
To me, hate is a
four letter word.
That sort of language will
no longer be tolerated.
I don't want to
hear I hate you.
I hate everybody.
I don't believe that you
mean that, Shasta, and that's
something that me and
you and Mom and Dad
are going to work
on while I'm here.
And then this one,
actions have consequences.
Say what you mean and mean it.
Say what you mean and mean it.
I don't follow
that one very well.
Get in here and wash
it off her arms now.
SHASTA: Shiloh did it too.
SHILOH: No, I didn't.
Susie is wishy-washy.
She'll think something up,
and then she'll get distracted
and it'll go by the wayside.
The example for me
would be timeout.
I love timeout.
I hate timeout.
Well, I can see that, but
if it's done in the right way,
timeout is very effective.
Everyone has one
of these, even Kea.
Timeouts feel really
unnatural to me,
and it especially feels really
unnatural with me with Kea.
And my last rule is
help around the house.
Every child does
a chore every day.
I'm not going to do that.
While I'm here,
you are, so we'll
talk about that later, OK?
No.
- The answer is no?
- Yeah.
To my rules?
Yeah.
She was having
none of the rules.
I decided to learn a little
more about my new friend Shasta
and help her get her messy
room shipshape at last.
You don't need to do
things for negative attention
anymore, OK?
Shasta displays
negative behavior
because it gets attention.
How many things are
we going to work on?
Everything till
we get it right.
The smallest thing that
you say in a positive way
can have the biggest impact.
OK, see, good.
This is not that hard.
It's just time
consuming and effort.
I called for Susie so she
could see the progress Shasta
and I had made together.
Do you know your mom
knows all the answers.
She just has an aversion
to doing the work.
Like, she's going
to come into my home,
she's going to
whip it into shape.
I think she has a tall order.
NANNY STELLA: After my
success with Shasta,
I asked Mom to
turn off the telly
and send Shiloh out to play,
but Shiloh had other ideas.
Shiloh, it's time
to get your shoes on.
When I come back, your shoes
need to be on or the TVs off.
SHASTA: I'm not
going to ask again.
Mama!
SHASTA: You're in trouble.
No way, that's it.
Timeout.
I need some water.
NANNY STELLA: When Mom
puts Shiloh in timeout,
he stubbornly disobeys her.
And then you can tell me--
NANNY STELLA: And the
reason is crystal clear.
Don't make me laugh.
I get tired of disciplining.
Hey.
NANNY STELLA: Mom is
not doing a good job
of enforcing the
rules, and remember,
actions have consequences.
You-- can you help
me for a second?
NANNY STELLA: Dad
wanted nothing to do
with the situation at hand.
Without any clear expectations,
Shiloh's frustration grows.
Timeout is around the corner.
You know what?
I asked you to
get your shoes on.
If they weren't on
by the time that I
came back from the room--
I get it.
NANNY STELLA: As Shiloh's
timeout went from bad to worse,
I decided to talk to him.
Listen, listen, I
need to talk to you, OK?
OK.
First of all, first of all,
what I need you to do--
[sobbing]
OK, I want you to look at me.
Shiloh, look at Nanny Stella.
You look at me.
Thank you.
I was trying to demonstrate
to both parents,
you think what you're going
to say and you mean it.
There's no wishy-washy approach.
The first thing I need you
to do is take a deep breath.
OK, you need to stay in
timeout, and when it's over,
you and Mom can talk about it.
As I was showing Mom and Dad
how to take timeout seriously,
Dad was paying no
attention, and then
he just headed for the exit.
NANNY STELLA: Come here.
SHASTA: Where are you going?
RICH: For a ride.
SHASTA: Why?
RICH: Because I want to.
NANNY STELLA: I
couldn't believe it.
I've never seen
anything so rude.
I don't know
what else I can do.
You're taking care of it.
Take care of it.
Rich focuses more
on his bike riding
than he does on his family.
[screaming]
Just blows me away.
I want Daddy
never to come back.
NANNY STELLA: Clearly,
he needs to be involved
if this is going to work.
So when Dad got back,
I decided to call
a meeting with the parents.
Where's family time?
There is none.
Occasionally on a Sunday.
Well, we have family time
on Saturday when I get back.
See--
Generally-- let me finish.
Sorry for talking.
So let's say, I
get back at 1:00,
there's still the perspective
I think from Susie
that I was gone all day.
It's not that he's
gone all day on Saturday,
it's that he's gone
all day on Saturday.
As far as my
biking goes, I felt
like she was trying
to take something
that was fundamentally
important to me away.
If that was me, I'd be
passing these kids to you,
and I'd be gone for the
same amount of time.
If I were to take as much time
as you take doing what you do,
there would be no family time.
In his perspective, he thinks
we spend a lot of time together.
But you know, every Saturday,
I'm on my own with the kids.
When you are home, I
don't feel like you're
really home sometimes.
I'm hearing that you
think your husband is
selfish with his time
and not committing
enough to your family.
That is an honest
to god question that
just needs an honest answer.
I think his priority is
cycling over family time.
Well, that's something that
you guys need to talk about
and really work on because
your kids are suffering because
of this lack of communication.
She nailed it.
NANNY STELLA: Mom
needs some time off,
and Dad needs to get more
involved with the kids,
so I send Mom off for
a bit of relaxation.
OK, where's Mom?
Where's Susie?
OK, Susie, come on.
This is your time
to go, your day.
All right, I'm out of here.
I want him taking
care of his kids
so that it's not all on me, and
I feel like I'm bogged down.
Really?
Hey, what's the problem?
I'm home.
I'm home all the time, a
lot more than other dads.
Bye.
Have a good time.
So give me an
estimate of when you
think you're going to be home.
I'll call you.
Ultimately, I think it
needs to be better for Susie.
Susie's happier, my
life will be better too.
Dad's in charge.
Nanny's supervising.
Bye, everybody.
Bye, Nanny Stella.
NANNY STELLA: It's nap
time at daddy day care.
You lie down.
NANNY STELLA: And
Rich is doing his best
to stick to the schedule, but
Kea is getting a bit fussy.
Kea, if you get
up one more time,
I'm putting you in timeout.
This is your warning, OK?
NANNY STELLA: As Dad continues
to struggle with chaos--
Hit it.
NANNY STELLA: Shasta and
Shiloh strike up the band
adding to the general mayhem.
You're in timeout.
[screaming]
NANNY STELLA: Kea wants
no part of timeout,
but Rich is surprisingly
calm and firm.
When I put Kea in timeout,
when she stayed there,
and she was upset,
it made me feel good.
She understood that what
she did was inappropriate,
so I thought it
worked really well.
[timer buzzes]
OK, timeout is over.
NANNY STELLA: It looks like
when Dad applies himself,
he can do a good job.
With Dad taking control
while Mom is out,
life at the Elgin house seems
to be getting on the right path.
Next up on the schedule
for Dad is dinner.
OK, Shasta, very hot.
OK.
Great.
What are you using to eat with?
Thank you.
First, I thought
Shasta was going
to be more of a
challenge, but we
still need to work on Shiloh.
Shiloh, use your fork rather
than your hand to hold it.
There you go.
Like that.
Shiloh, this is
your last warning.
If I see you eating your
food with your hands,
you're going in timeout.
NANNY STELLA: I was impressed
by Rich's insistence
on good table manners.
Come on.
I didn't touch the
food with my hands.
Here.
Take a timeout and then come
back and finish your food.
NANNY STELLA: And when Dad
puts Shiloh in timeout,
he actually listens.
Sometimes, you really
can't be their friend.
You have to be their parent.
I think you all
did remarkably well.
Hello?
It's Mom.
Hello.
NANNY STELLA: Later
on, when Mom calls,
Rich clearly lets her know he's
sticking with the schedule.
I thought we agreed we
were going to put Kea to bed
at 7:00.
Can I talk to Mommy?
I'm going to get
Kea ready for bed,
and hopefully get her down.
NANNY STELLA: Dad
communicates properly
to Mom that he is putting
her to bed at 7:00,
and now hopefully, they
will be on the same page.
Well, she said she's going to
be home at 6:30, and she's not.
I feel what's going to happen is
she's going to come home and be
hungry and want to eat,
and I'm going to end
up having to take care of Kea.
Well, you should do
that because that's
going to give you
brownie points,
as far as I'm concerned.
OK.
NANNY STELLA: Rich had been
left to his own devices,
and he'd done a really good job.
And then it was Kea, bedtime.
Let's read it together,
you and Daddy, OK?
NANNY STELLA: And
it was very calm,
and it was actually
really sweet.
To wait for the bus.
NANNY STELLA: Until Mom
came home in the middle
of this almost perfect bedtime.
Hi, Shiloh.
Shiloh?
NANNY STELLA: Susie came through
the house like a tornado.
You know what?
That's it.
I can't take it.
Mommy, can I
tell you something?
See how you got to do it?
You got to really pound it down.
NANNY STELLA: Everything was
turned upside down in the space
of only a few minutes.
All the lights need to be off.
NANNY STELLA: Mom comes
home late and loudly,
yet she still has the
nerve to chastise Rich.
Amazing.
No, she was going to
sleep, but then you came home
and you were loud.
I thought you were
going to wait for me.
That's what I thought you
said to me on the phone.
No, it's not what I said.
I'm going to get
Kea ready for bed,
and hopefully get her down.
You can stay right in here.
No.
Good night, Kea.
NANNY STELLA: I
thought these two
were getting on the same page,
but that's not the case at all.
I was utterly disappointed,
and at the same time,
hugely frustrated.
Bring right.
You need to come
out for a minute.
This tit for tat between
Mom and Dad has got to stop.
I knew what I needed to say,
and I was going to say it.
What did you two
communicate at 7:05?
That he would get
her ready for bed,
and then I thought
we would come in
and then we would put
her down together.
OK, this is the point where
you have to be more clear.
Regardless of how he was
doing it, it was calm.
She wasn't upset.
And you came in and you
actually said to him,
I thought you were
going to wait for me.
This is team effort.
You both have to
say what you think.
It's not about
upsetting each other.
It's about communicating.
Just when I finally thought
they were getting it--
So it looks like your
schedule is a little delayed.
It is delayed.
Tonight.
It all fell to pieces.
NANNY STELLA: After
last night's disaster,
Mom and Dad are not
on the same page yet,
but we still need to get
their house in order.
OK, let's go get a broom.
NANNY STELLA: For
me, giving children
chores gives them a work ethic.
It gives them a huge
sense of accomplishment.
Those things build self esteem.
Rich has had a huge turnaround.
Want to help me with this one?
NANNY STELLA: Rich
and Shiloh were
actually helping each other
and were working together.
Mom, however, is still
struggling with Shasta.
Until she learns how to clearly
communicate with her daughter,
there'll be no peace
under her roof.
Mom, I already
cleaned my room.
I don't want to sweep it.
Why do I have to sweep
it if I don't want to?
You said you'd do it today.
You said it.
Not me.
SHASTA: Can't I do it later?
SUSIE: What time later?
We can't do it at 4 o'clock.
Why?
SUSIE: Because we need
to get out of the house
for a little while.
No.
NANNY STELLA: Susie
tries to be calm,
but she's angry and
frustrated and she
does a lot of negotiating.
It's continuous.
There's no stop what
you're doing right now.
This is what's going
to happen next.
It gets to go on and on and on.
If I go in there, whatever's
on the floor becomes mine.
No.
You're not even
going in my room.
SUSIE: There goes the day.
No.
SUSIE: One more
time you yell at me,
you are going to go
into your timeout.
Or what was the other choice?
We'll lose another day.
SUSIE: All right, go.
NANNY STELLA: And
when Mom finally
does put Shasta in timeout,
the negotiating begins again.
That is unacceptable.
Part of living in
this house is picking up
after yourself and Kea
shares that room with you,
and if you want her to be able--
[shasta vocalizing loudly]
Your timeout starts
now, and when you're done,
we'll discuss the
other part of this.
Me love Daddy.
Me baked Mommy.
That's as bad as
saying nasty words.
To your room, now.
I don't want to hear them.
I don't want to hear them.
Bye bye, everyone.
I'll see you never.
NANNY STELLA: Shasta threw
this monumental tantrum
over cleaning her room, and I
kid you not, it lasted hours.
Hope I broke something.
Leave.
Me and Kea are going to
go play in the sprinkler.
You can't come out of here
until you've swept your bed.
No.
SUSIE: Or picked up the
stuff off your floor
that you want to keep.
SHASTA: No.
No.
I like it dirty.
SUSIE: I want underneath
the bed picked up.
No.
You didn't say that.
I've been saying
that for two days.
NANNY STELLA: Mom is
still negotiating.
She needs to say what
she means and mean it.
My room.
I'm asking you
just to do that.
SHASTA: No.
That's too much.
SUSIE: Then I'll sweep it out.
SHASTA: No.
NANNY STELLA: As this ridiculous
negotiating continues,
poor little Kea's needs
are totally disregarded,
and I can't take it anymore.
This has got to stop.
I need to step in.
I feel frustrated.
I can't do it.
I'm just done.
- You're ready--
- Yeah, I'm done.
Yeah.
NANNY STELLA: Susie never
wants to be in your face.
She wants you to be enlightened.
She wants the light
bulb to go off,
but there has to be a point
where you just say enough
is enough because I said so.
You've decided what
the discipline is.
It's non-negotiable.
That's the only way your kids
are going to respect you.
Believe me.
I've been letting my
children lead the household.
I need to follow through.
I need to stop
negotiating with my kids.
I get that.
NANNY STELLA: I thought
I'd seen the worst of it,
but Shasta's eruption
was just beginning.
Why are you out of your room?
SHASTA: Because I'm not
cleaning up under my bed.
All I asked you to do is
pick up what you want to keep
and I would sweep it up.
SHASTA: No.
No.
No.
What kind of help
would you like?
I want you to do
everything, and me
to just sit down on the
couch and watch TV with Kea.
I think now I need to be
more of a disciplinarian.
I just think you want to argue.
No!
Now you're going to go.
NANNY STELLA: Even
after my chat with Mom,
she was still
negotiating with Shasta.
I cannot drag you in there.
All I can do is take
away privileges.
No, you can't.
Well, one thing that I
always wanted for Shasta
is her to be free to be me, but
I realized that I need to put
that sassy mouth of hers down.
No.
No.
No.
I cannot pick you up.
--on day three.
No.
If you're going to
continue yelling at me,
it'll get to day four.
- Never.
NANNY STELLA: This
time, Mom's on her own.
Stand up, get out of my face.
If you want to talk to
me nicely and ask me--
I will.
With an apology for
talking to me that way.
You think I do everything bad.
NANNY STELLA: I had to let
the tantrum run its course
to learn what was
really bothering Shasta
and see if Mom would
get the courage
to tackle the issue correctly.
If you want to be that way and
you don't want to participate
in this, just go to your room.
NANNY STELLA: She's
crying out for attention
because there's something
lacking in the relationship
between her and Susie.
You are not coming
back in my room.
[crying]
I hate Daddy and Mommy.
SUSIE: Shasta.
Susie's mind's just,
you know, ticking away.
Why do you feel
like I don't love you?
I know she's
having a realization.
I'm leaving.
Somehow, things were
not working out.
NANNY STELLA: I've decided
it's time to step in and talk
to Shasta about her behavior.
Shasta, may I come in?
SHASTA: Yeah.
There is no expectation
of the children's behavior
that they're aware of.
In the parent's mind, there's
an expectation of the behavior,
but it's never been
conveyed to the children.
Can I speak to you for a minute?
I want to show Mom and
Dad how to communicate
with their daughter.
You know when you have
really bad behavior?
Yeah.
Do you know who it affects?
Who?
Everybody.
But you know who it's affecting
in a big way as well as you?
Who?
Kea.
Why?
Because have you
seen her pull hair
and get mad and throw tantrums?
That's her way of
showing how angry and mad
she is, like you
throwing tantrums.
So you know how you sit at
the table at meal times,
and you're really well behaved?
Hmm-hmm.
Have you noticed that
Kea is really well behaved?
Hm.
Do you know why?
No.
You're her big sister, and
she really looks up to you.
And you do a really good job
teaching her some things,
but on others, you
teach her bad habits.
OK.
Thank you for listening.
Now that she's
seen me communicate
effectively with Shasta, it's
time for Mom to have a go.
There's something wrong here.
This needs to be fixed.
It really hurts my feelings
when you say I hate you.
I don't like you.
No, you're not.
I just think you're
trying to get attention.
SHASTA: Sorry.
Thank you.
If I change and I
do things better
I know that she's going to.
Me love you.
Me love you.
NANNY STELLA: Wow,
some success at last.
It was the first time that I'd
felt that connection with her
in a long time.
I can't explain it.
There's no words for it.
NANNY STELLA: It looks
like Mom and Shasta have
finally made a breakthrough.
For the rest of my stay,
the Elgin family made
small but effective changes.
Can you clear the table first?
Mom, do you need
any more help?
NANNY STELLA: Now that Mom is
communicating more effectively,
she's becoming the parent
she's always wanted to be.
And now with Mom and Dad making
an effort to work as a team--
Come on, Kea, let's
go change your diaper.
NANNY STELLA: The
children's behavior
has started to improve.
Now these touches are much
nicer than the other touches.
NANNY STELLA: And as a
result, the household
is becoming much happier.
Cheers.
NANNY STELLA: As my time
here is coming to an end,
there's just one more small hill
left for the Elgin's to climb.
I want to see Dad making his
family his number one priority.
No, Mom.
You want to put those on?
RICH: Come on, Shiloh.
Come on, Shasta.
SUSIE: OK, let's go.
NANNY STELLA: I was happy to
see that when Dad went biking
on Saturday morning, the entire
family was along for the ride.
Good job, Shiloh.
It was good to have
that time together.
It was fun.
Yeah.
There you go, Speedy.
NANNY STELLA: Now
that the Elgin family
has begun to get in gear, I
know they will be pedaling
down the right path together.
RICH: Keep that head up.
NANNY STELLA: The only thing
left to do is say goodbye.
Hey, Shasta, Shiloh, can you
come into the living room,
please?
Come on.
It's time to say goodbye
to the Elgin family,
and I'm feeling very happy
because I did a very good job
and so did they.
This is the end of a
very nice week for me.
I want to say thank
you for looking
and listening and paying
attention and making
some really good changes.
I don't feel like
we're done yet.
I still feel like
we need more help,
but we're the ones that
have to make the change.
The biggest improvement is
the fact that you were both--
you were checked out.
That's not questionable.
But you've both definitely
checked back in.
I don't think I was
prepared for the nanny
to come in and deal with
issues that may be related
with the parents and
how that trickled down,
but really it starts
with the adults.
The leaders of the
family, so to speak.
NANNY STELLA: I'm
hoping I'm going to get
at least that much of a hug.
I'm feeling a lot more
happiness in the house,
and definitely this level of
fun that wasn't there before.
What about this guy?
Oh, yeah.
That's a good hug.
Do you think you'll miss
me just a little bit?
Maybe.
Maybe I'll miss
you a little bit.
It was huge for Shasta
to let go and go, yeah,
I do care about you.
You're really smart, OK?
And I say this to
kids very often.
It's the choices that you're
making that aren't so smart,
but you've made some really good
choices while I've been here.
I definitely see the
future brighter for our kids
in terms of less
negative emotions
or just acting out or
behaving inappropriately
or interacting inappropriately.
This came at the right time.
Thank you.
Thanks a lot.
Keep up the good work, OK?
Thanks.
It's great.
The best thing I think Nanny
Stella gave us was working
those issues out
with me and Rich,
because I think that was just
the underlying problem of it
all.
OK.
SUSIE: Say goodbye?
Keep in touch.
Bye, guys.
I had a really good time.
They are a really nice family.
They've seen what can happen
in a short space of time,
and I know if they
stick to my rules,
they will come through
with flying colors.
That's a great song.
[incoherent singing]
Yay.
Whoo.
Brilliant.
Wow.
That was the best
concert I've been to.
That was fantastic.
03x05 - Elgin Family
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Loosely based on the British television programme Little Angels, in which American families with unmanageable children are reformed by British nannies, including one who served for the royal family.
Loosely based on the British television programme Little Angels, in which American families with unmanageable children are reformed by British nannies, including one who served for the royal family.