01x01 - Ginger the Juvey

[bunniefuu]

♪ Someone once told me the grass is much greener ♪

♪ On the other side

♪ Well, I paid a visit

♪ While it's possible I missed it ♪

♪ It seemed different yet exactly the same ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

♪Till further notice♪

♪ Till further notice

♪I'm in between♪

♪ I'm in between

♪From where I'm standing♪

♪ From where I'm standing

♪ My grass is green

♪ Someone once told me the grass is much greener ♪

♪ On the other side.

[bell chiming...]

I'm thinking a quick snack

maybe something in the way of a Sloppy Jane...

Light on the slop, extra Jane.

...then pedicures and homework.

How's that sound?

Pedicures! Dibs on Ginger!

Black and blue polish? Same as always?

Oh, there's my mom!

Mom! Mom!

Oh, oh... I call frontsies!

Hmm...

Anything interesting?

What's a "frontsie," Miranda?

I'm not sure, but I can get on the Internet and find out.

No, that won't be necessary.

I intend to see for myself.

I really think this color is going to work for you, Ginger.

It's called "Popular in Peach."

Courtney Gripling wore it on her nails

the entire final marking period last semester.

Everything, just everything, looks good on Courtney Gripling.

Well? What do you think?

[chuckles]

Works for me!

Ow!

Careful with the cuticles, Miranda!

I'm tender-footed!

Uh... remind me why we didn't go to the salon

like we usually do?

Friends paint their friends' toenails, Miranda.

It's as simple as frontsies.

We need to finalize the guest list

so I can circulate the invitations for your surprise party.

Hmm... Missy, Mitzy, Mindy and Mipsy, of course.

And I'd like

Ginger Foutley to be there.

[whirring]

Out, Blake, you snot-nosed weasel!

Miranda: Uh, I'm sorry, I don't think I heard you correctly...

Did you say Ginger Foutley?

I said out, you scum-coated pond creature!

[whirring]

Ginger Foutley, that's right.

But she's a total wannabe!

Still, there's something about her.

There's nothing about her, Courtney!

Her presence will force the party's chemistry

into a downward spiral!

Let's move on.

Okay. It's really important that my face express total and complete surprise

while still looking really, really hot.

Now, I'm thinking something like this...

[clears throat]

Oh, my gosh!

Oh, What a total and complete surprise!

If you ask me, it felt a little... phony.

Miranda on tape: Did you say Ginger Foutley?

Courtney: I said out

you scum-coated pond creature!

Ginger Foutley, that's right.

But she's a total wannabe!

Blake Gripling to Carl.

Come in, Carl...

[clacking]

Trade dentures with you?

No way. These still have prune in 'em!

Gross!

Blake Gripling to Carl!

Come in, Carl!

Who is this? How did you get our frequency?

What do you want, Blake?

Hello there, Carl.

Glad to hear your voice.

Word on the cul-de-sac is

your sister is going to be invited

to my sister's surprise birthday party.

So?

It's valuable information, Carl.

I shall want your petrified eyeball

as payment for the tip.

Uh, news flash, Blakie-boy: the time for blackmail

isbeforeyou've dispensed the valuable information, not afterwards!

[snorting laugh]

But, uh, you know, thanks for the tip!

Blake: Blast!

[karate yell]

Ooh!

Quit doing that, Carl!

You're going to give Macie a heart att*ck!

Breathe, breathe, Macie!

Through the good nostril!

I know you can't resist the smell

of freshly clipped toenails, Carl, but we're busy.

So if you don't mind...

Uh, don't flatter yourself, Ginger.

I'm here on official business.

There's news concerning you and Courtney Gripling.

[both gasp]

Me and Courtney Gripling?

What have you got?

It will cost you.

What's your price?

[whispering]

[arguing in whispers]

Your curling iron.

What for?

Both: Classified.

This better be good.

Hoodsey?

Today, at : p.m.

Carl Foutley the Fantastico received terrific news.

And?

This news is about Courtney Gripling.

And her surprise birthday party.

Well? So?

What's the news?

Oh! Right!

Okay, sorry.

Ginger's invited.

What?!

Oh, this is not happening!

Do you understand

that being invited to a Gripling extravaganza

is only the single coolest thing in the world!

I'm talking... I'm talking D.J., primo loot bags

and brand-name cola flowing freely!

Everyone who is anyone will be there!

You guys aren't going.

Oh... it's still the best news ever.

You got a hall pass?

Right here.

Ooh! Ooh!

[gasps]

Courtney! Sorry!

Hello, Ginger.

I'm glad we ran into each other.

You are?

Of course I am!

We're really good friends.

We are?

That pass is for making

number one or two, not idle chit-chat!

Now get back to...

Courtney: Ahem!

Courtney!

I'm so sorry!

I didn't realize it was you.

Do you need an escort back to class?

That would be great, Linda, thanks.

Bye, Ginger.

Oh, cute shoes.

You might want to wear them

to my surprise you-know-what!

See you there.

Ginger.

Uh, hi, Miranda.

I see you're washing your hands.

That's good. Very good.

[laughing]

[sighs]

So... an invitation

to Courtney Gripling's birthday party?

[snickers]

You must be very pleased with yourself.

Yeah. It's, uh, pretty cool.

It's very cool.

Very cool indeed.

Things are really moving along for you, Ginger.

And don't worry, there's nothing to be nervous about.

Except for maybe... what to get Courtney as a gift.

I mean...

the girl has everything and still expects the best.

But you'll think of something.

You better.

Because in this town

you're only as good as your last gift.

Remember that.

Whoa!

Whoopsie.

What are you doing here?

We have a hall pass...

[snickers]

Please...

Great! I didn't even think of that!

I finally get invited to one of Courtney's parties

and now I'm going to have to show up

with some crummy old present.

Same as always.

I like your crummy old presents, Ginger!

Who could forget that nifty pocket tic-tac-toe pad you made last Christmas?

No, Macie, Ginger's right.

This is big time.

Some lame-o gift like hand-painted barrettes

isn't going to help her now.

Even though I really like those ones you made me.

I'm dead meat.

Now, the perfect viewing spot for Courtney's party

is Blake's tree house, right?

Hoodsey: Right...

And if we get exclusive photos

the blackmail possibilities are endless, right?

Right...

So all we have to do is lure Blake away

so we can snap photos and reap the riches! Right?

Carl! I can't go

when you keep talking to me, okay?

Okay, relax, Hoodsey.

[toilet flushing]

Did you bring the curling iron?

Some of my ringlets are coming loose.

Foutley! How much for a curly hairdo?

Not selling today, Walker.

Hey, let's go be nice to Blake Gripling.

It's almost : and I'll bet you anything

he's in the small playground.

[bell rings]

Hmm... It, it's, it's a very unusual situation

and it needs to be handled delicately.

You played like my grandma today, Patterson!

You're dead meat tomorrow!

Count on it!

Okay, sounds good!

See you tomorrow, Vince!

I'll call...

Well, you could give Courtney an I.O.U.

until you think of something good.

Maybe I should just stay home

and save myself the humiliation.

Miranda: Or you could let me save you.

I've been thinking about your dilemma,Ginger

and I feel your pain.

I may have the solution.

I know something Courtney really wants

it's totally original and it doesn't cost a dime.

Macie: Of course!

An interest-yielding IRA account linked with free checking!

It's what every girl wants...

on the inside.

[exasperated sigh]

The "Enter" sign, Ginger.

For outside Courtney's bedroom.

She'll flip!

Uh, I don't know, Miranda...

It's practically falling off anyway.

I mean, all you have to do is just... pluck it.

Isn't that... uh, stealing?

I prefer to think of it

as "borrowing without asking and no intention to return."

Ginger could get in big trouble, Miranda.

Excuse me.

I thought Ginger already was in big trouble.

If you're too chicken to go through with it

let me know, Ginger.

There's plenty of other kids

who would turn cartwheels for the tip.

You have until the stroke of : to decide.

That's when I get home

from clarinet.

[laughing]

Look at him.

School's been out for an hour

and he isn't even dirty.

[humming]

Hello, Blake.

[gasps]

Carl!

Woodsy.

It'sHoodsey,Blake-- with an "H".

Lately, we've been thinking about things...

and we came to the conclusion

that maybe it's time the three of us played.

You'd like that, wouldn't you?

Would I!

I mean... an intriguing idea.

Then be at my doghouse tomorrow evening.

I'm afraid I shall have to decline.

You see, that conflicts with my sister's birthday party

and I'm bent set on stirring up a bit of mischief, as it were.

Sorry to hear that, Blake.

Hoodsey and I don't bode well with rejection

and an offer like this comes along but once in a blue moon...

Uh, I wonder... perhaps we can reschedule?

No, sorry.

We're booked solid.

Let's go, Hoods.

Bye, Blake.

Bye...

Great! What are we going to do now?

We're going to sit and wait,Woodsy.

We're going to sit and wait.

Steal the sign, risk going to prison.

Show up with a lame gift

ruin chances of being invited to another party

and lifebecomesa prison.

What's worse?

Well, in real prison...

you get to sleep on bunk beds.

I guess bunk beds are kind of cool.

So you're saying I should steal the sign?

No, no, hey, I'm just saying

that bunk beds are kind of cool.

Yeah... yeah, you're right.

Yeah, especially the top bunks.

Uh... not about the bunk beds, Darren.

I have to steal the sign.

I mean, I want to give Courtney a good present...

I want to show Miranda I'm not chicken...

and I hate to say it

but I kind of want those kids to think I'm cool.

Do you think that's totally uncool?

Crackle, darn you!

Crackle!

It's no use, Carl!

He's never going to..

[static crackling]

Blake Gripling to Carl!

Come in, Carl!

Both: Yes!

I despise the clarinet!

Almost as much as...

[phone rings]

[snickers]

You rang?

Why, Ginger!

I was just thinking about you.

Uh, about that little suggestion you made...

Yeah?

I'm going to do it.

[snickers]

Excellent decision, Ginger.

I'm sure you won't regret it.

[laughing...]

Courtney: What a total and complete surprise!

[laughing]

Oh, for me?

What a lovely surprise!

Is the receipt in the box?

Yep. Tonight's the big night!

Carl, Woodsy and an up-close look at that precious eyeball.

Not bad, for the tender age of seven and three-quarters.

Bye, Mom!

See you late tonight!

Meatloaf's in the 'fridge!

Thaw it before eating, okay?

And remind your brother he's still grounded from last weekend.

I will! Bye!

There isn't much time.

Let's raid Carl's room.

We're going to need disguises.

Are you sure you want to go through with this?

There's no backing out now, Macie.

I already said.

We're going to have to pick the lock.

Sure, yeah, why not?

Breaking and entering

stealing from a federal institution...

Look, I break into my brother's room all the time.

Why don't you guys stand back and observe the master at work?

[alarm blaring]

Carl as alarm voice: Intruder! Intruder!

You are being pelted

with pre-chewed Super Double Berry Bubble!

This will not come out!

Intruder! Int...

Darren:Jackpot!

Look!

Way to go, Darren!

Let's do this thing!

Macie!

Sorry. Must be the adrenaline talking.

Give it to me straight, Winston.

Do I look cool enough to play with?

You're all that and a bag of fish and chips, sir.

Aah!

Double-crossers!

[dialing cell phone]

Hello, Winston?

There's been a bit of tomfoolery.

I need you back here at once.

Mmm! He's got Malted Milk Monkeys!

Okay. Let's get down to business.

Where's the lighting equipment?

[mouth stuffed]: Mmph mm knpsck!

[music playing...]

[whispers to herself]: Just a minute, Courtney.

I've got one quick phone call to make...

[dialing cell phone]

Officer Killgallen, please!

Hello, Daddy?

I'd like to report a robbery in progress...

What's she waiting for?

I don't know.

I, I guess she's nervous.

I'm not nervous!

I'm soaking up this powerful moment

whereby I take matters into my own hands and...

you know, risk going to prison.

[takes a deep breath]

Okay... I'm going to do it.

I can't look.

Shh, shh...!

Here it goes.

All right.

Okay, count of three.

Sink or swim, Ginger!

Now or never!

One...

two...

All: Three!

[siren wails, tires squeal]

The jig is up! Run!

Hands in the air, Foutley!

We've got you surrounded!

Hey, you kids, get back here!

Hey! That cop is Miranda's dad!

[whimpering]

Freedom!

[grunts]

Thanks, Winston.

Let's get you home, sir.

Not so fast!

I may have been deprived of the play date I came here for

but I say I shall not leave empty-handed.

Sir?

Payback has a name.

It starts with "petrified"

and it ends with "eyeball."

[siren wailing]

Will this go on my permanent record?

Officer Killgallen?

Um, exactly how much hard time do you think I'll serve?

Well, you're looking at a minimum sentence

of probation, community service

and a whopping grounding from your mama... if it's up to me.

So... no prison?

Not just yet.

[music and general conversation...]

All: Surprise!

[gasps]

[siren wailing]

Carl! Ginger's in that cop car!

Oh, man!

This is way better than we expected!

[cameras clicking]

That girl! She's in my science class!

[others murmuring...]

Sorry I couldn't make it

to your party, Courtney!

I got arrested for robbing a bank!

And look! I didn't even get frontsies...

Ahem!

Ginger Foutley got arrested for robbing a bank?

What a total and complete surprise!

[applause and exclamations]

Will somebody pleaseexplain to me

how even when Ginger Foutley loses... she wins?!

[door opening]

[panting]

Both: Ginger's been arrested!

I don't care what cockamamie excuse...

What did you say?

It's true, Mom!

She was arrested for robbing a bank!

[phone ringing]

Hello?

I see.

I'm on my way.

Told you so!

Uh, Mom, if Ginger goes to prison...

can Hoodsey move into her room?

Get your coat!

[gasps]

Oh!

Filthy, filthy, filthy.

I'll have the cleaning crew up in the morning, sir.

A real victory for the little guy, sir.

Where would you like it?

Top shelf, please.

Something tells me we shall meet again, Mr. Foutley.

Carl's picture proved it was Miranda

who tipped off the police.

I still can't believe I fell for her plan.

I mean, what was I thinking...

risking everything just for some stupid present?

And as for the next few months?

Well, I guess my social calendar

will have to take a back seat to community service.

What a bummer.

No one ever said a life of crime was glamorous.

Dodie: Hi, Ginger, it's me.

I'm grounded for a month

and Macie is hyperventilating

but I just wanted you to know

that absolutelyeveryone is talking about you!

The entire middle school? In a tizzy!

If you get this message, you must, must,mustcall me back!

Too bad I'm not allowed to use the phone.