01x14 - Deja Who?

[bunniefuu]

♪ Someone once told me the grass is much greener ♪

♪ On the other side

♪ Well, I paid a visit

♪ While it's possible I missed it ♪

♪ It seemed different yet exactly the same ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

♪Till further notice♪

♪ Till further notice

♪I'm in between♪

♪ I'm in between

♪From where I'm standing♪

♪ From where I'm standing

♪ My grass is green

♪ Someone once told me the grass is much greener ♪

♪ On the other side.

[kids yelling]

I'm not so sure about the pudding.

Maybe I should have gone for the Jell-O.

Hey!

I saw that, Marshall.

[laughs]

Okay, okay, quiet down now.

[Courtney taps glass... silence]

Hmmph. I hear the students at Chaplin Junior High

have their food fights catered.

Yes, well... [clears throat]

there... that's more like it.

Uh, thanks, Courtney.

[sighs] No problem, Principal Milty.

Excellent news, students.

Senator Ricci, who's running for reelection

has picked Lucky Junior High

for a campaign stop on Friday.

Why is he coming here?

We can't vote.

He'll be bringing his son Michael along with him.

[gasps] I've seen pictures of young Michael.

His highlights match my highlights.

He's going to transfer from his prep school to a public school.

Lucky Junior High may be the one he picks.

A senator's son?!

That's practically royalty!

And I'm practically royalty, so that means...

I must have him.

Now, I don't need to tell you

what having a senator's son attend our school would mean.

The visit ends with a luncheon

so I expect no flying pudding.

Principal Milty...

any thoughts as to who will be

Michael's peer guide at the luncheon?

Uh... you?

[sighs]

You know, this mystery stew isn't bad.

I may recommend Chef Bob

as caterer for the luncheon.

I wonder what the mystery meat is.

Tastes like that pressed lobster.

Lobster?!

Why is Brandon always bringing his brother's monkey to school?

It makes me nervous.

Ah, ignore him, Hoods.

He's just trying to show off.

Besides, you're not go to let some stupid monkey scare you, are you?

Have you seen his teeth, Carl?

They're like Dracula's.

[angry chattering]

Oh... oh... oh... oh!

[grunts]

[happy chattering]

Hoods?! Yo, Hoods?!

You can't fool me this time!

He's faking it.

[groans]

A classic case of lobster face, I'm afraid.

It will take a good four days

and a heaping sh*t of cortisone

for the swelling to go down.

Oh, what inferior shellfish does

to the Gripling visage!

I'd better phone the doctor.

Oh, four days?

I won't be able to go to the luncheon.

I feel Michael slipping through my perfectly manicured fingers.

Of all the times to have to hide.

It's like, why couldn't there be another Courtney?

[gasps]

Of course!

I'll have someone fill in for me.

No, more than that...beme

until I can seamlessly step back in.

Miranda, I need you...

Yes...?

To hand me the phone

so I can call Ginger Foutley.

Ginger? That wannabee?

Anyone would make a better Courtney than her.

What about Mipsy?

She made that foreign exchange student

feel right at home.

Too hammy.

Patsy organized

a great vintage clothing sale.

Too pushy.

Well, I'm available.

You? But then who would play my best gal pal?

Hmm, I suppose we could always get Ginger to...

No, no, no, no, no... [laughs]

You're right.

I mean, Ginger should play you.

[monitor beeping]

Here's the deal.

It's a very mild concussion.

Hoodsey will be able to go home in a couple of hours

but, uh, uh, he may not be himself yet.

You mean like he's got an oozing wound or something?

Uh, no, not exactly.

[beeper sounds]

Oh, got to run.

Keep your visit short

and no seeing how much hospital pudding

it takes to fill a bedpan!

[groaning]

Check out what the ambulance guys gave me.

It's a real finger bone.

See, there was this horrible train wreck

and they had to use the jaws of life to free this guy

only they accidentally cut his finger off.

Pretty cool, huh, Hoodsey?

What did you call me?

Hoodsey-- it's your name.

It is?

Well, how come I don't remember it?

GINGER: You want me to be you for the luncheon?

Not just the luncheon.

Every day leading up to it.

You've got to be a well-oiled Courtney machine by Friday.

But why?

Because Courtney's the only reason

Michael would bother choosing Lucky Junior High.

I don't care if a senator's son goes to school with us.

Oh, Ginger, think about it.

If Michael attends Lucky Junior High

we'd go from being a public school

to a public school with major perks.

We'll get school trips to the Caribbean!

Ski trips to Aspen!

Free cashmere sweater sets.

You want to date him, don't you?

It might be an interesting sidebar.

But isn't he going to notice the difference?

I mean, when I go back to being Ginger

and you come back to school?

The nice thing about boys is

they never pay too close attention.

Well, if it means that much to you, Courtney... okay.

[laughs nervously]

Besides, it's not like I'm going to be wearing

a Courtney disguise or anything.

Your hairdresser's number one on speed-dial.

CARL: And my mom says this amnesia thing is only temporary.

All I got to do is keep reminding you of stuff we used to do

and you'll snap right out of it, Hoodsey.

You know, there's something about that name.

It's a nickname.

Still, I don't like it.

[scoffs] It beats Robert.

That's what your mother calls you.

You don't want me to call you that, do you?

I think I feel... like a Rob.

It sounds, I don't know, more me.

Aw, it doesn't sound a thing like you!

I mean, it wasn'tRob who won last year's wheelchair race.

Whoa, I won a wheelchair race?

Let me refresh your memory.

Think hospital Christmas party.

Someone accidentally leaves a couple of wheelchairs

sitting in an empty hallway.

Two boys with big plans find them

and... [panting]

Oh...!

Oh! Aah...! Oh...!

[groans]

Well?

Rob doesn't remember this wheelchair race.

And look... you bent a spoke.

[sighs]

Guess this is going to be

a little trickier than I thought.

rWell... how do I look?

Ginger, do you think you could try

to sound a little more... me?

You mean, like, practice?

Courtney, get real.

We'll be here all night.

Hmm, perhaps you're right.

Our time is limited.

I'll just have to put out the word that Ginger is now me

and as we all know, my word is law.

Oh, I don't know.

This being Courtney thing feels really weird.

Earth to Ginger... yesterday you were in Courtney's inner circle.

Today youarethe circle.

And if you're the circle

that means Macie and I are inner circle!

Um, how long are you going to be Courtney, Courtney?

Only until the luncheon.

And I'm Ginger, okay?

Don't you guys go crazy on me, too.

Nope, nothing.

What are you boys up to?

Well, I read smells can trigger memories, too.

So I figure if I can getRob to sniff enough stuff

he'll remember Hoodsey.

So, Moms...

got anything rotten anywhere?

Only my arch supports, and I left them at work.

Wow, look at you.

What gives?

Uh, well, see, it's this class I'm taking.

The new social studies.

It's just like new math, only with fewer numbers.

We're learning how the other half lives

by being the other half.

But they're still teaching you how to spell, right?

Sure.

Good.

Okay, who wants to ride up front?

Uh, I'll pass, Mrs. Foutley.

My mother said it's the worst place to sit

in case we get into an accident

in your old b*at-up wreck of a car.

Huh. That JoAnn-- what a firecracker.

Ginger!

I mean, Courtney.

Hi, girls.

Hi, Mrs...

Uh, is she still Mrs. Foutley?

I, I don't know.

Could be Nurse Gripling.

BOTH: Wow...

If I didn't know you were really Ginger

I'd think you were Courtney.

I know I feel intimidated.

Come on, guys, it's just me.

She sounds like Ginger.

IamGinger.

Let's go... Courtney.

It's one thing to swim

in the safety of the kiddy pool

but welcome to the shark t*nk.

Courtney may have convinced some people you're her

but not everyone.

Ginger?

Actually, she's Courtney.

Oh, yeah...?

You know, crepe soles don't say "power principal"

the way wing-tips do.

Oh... right... uh, thanks... uh, Courtney.

Hmm.

Wow... she almost had me fooled.

And I'm, like, one of her best friends.

I don't know, I thought crepe soles

didsay "power principal."

Well, that was the warm-up.

Now for the real test.

Between : and : every morning

Courtney gives advice on romance

to the relationship- challenged.

You know, girls like you.

This should be interesting.

[girls talking]

[all gasp, stop talking]

Hi... Courtney.

So, what do I do?

Gary likes Loni, but Loni doesn't like him

but I like Gary.

Well, um, does Gary know you like him?

No.

So... maybe you should tell him.

That is so obvious.

I know.

Why didn't I think of it?!

You are so brilliant!

Not bad, not bad at all... Courtney.

She throws up all her candy corn every Halloween.

He got his tongue stuck to a frozen stop sign last winter...

thanks to your dare.

And this guy we can't stand!

Hello, Rob.

I hope you're feeling better.

[growls]

Gee, I don't know. He seemed nice.

Wha...? See, that's one of the things you're not remembering!

He's a big pain!

Say there, Foutley, I couldn't help but notice

you seem to be in dire need of a new best friend.

Hoodsey.

It's Rob.

How nice for you.

I'm here to offer my services.

My credentials

listed in chronological order

with current references, of course.

You might want to contact Larry Cortez.

He was especially pleased with my work.

Shall we schedule an interview now or...

Me and Hoodsey are best friends

and I'm going to figure out

some way to make him remember that.

Very well.

He seemed nice, too.

[frustrated grunting]

Ooh...

Over here!

Saved you the good seat.

Sorry, guys.

[sloshing]

You're a good man, Larry.

What is it?

Spit. See, we collect it because...

Gross...!

Hey, wait!

We haven't hit the girls field hockey team yet!

Okay, it's :.

She's probably not too busy.

And like I said, we're inner circle now.

Right.

[girls talking]

Excuse me... sorry...Best friend coming through...

Where do you think you're going?

To see Ginger... oh, Courtney.

I meant Courtney.

We are her inner circle.

[chuckles]

You're Ginger's inner circle, not Courtney's.

Back of the line.

Okay, that was Miranda talking, not Ginger.

Don't, don't you mean Courtney?

Well, yes, but... no, I mean... um...

Oh, check it out!

I must have hit a load from the old folks' home.

I'm going down for another look.

Bet you I find a fake leg

or a heart machine or something.

This was our idea of fun?

Macie?

Present.

Courtney?

Here.

Ginger?

Okey-dokey...

Since Ginger has been out so much

maybe someone should volunteer to bring her her homework.

I will. We mustn't let Ginger fall behind.

[all laugh]

Can you believe what Ginger Foutley wore last week?

And how 's was that hair scrunchy?

[both laugh]

[all laughing]

It's happened.

Ginger's become Courtney.

And if Ginger's Courtney, who am I?

You're Macie.

Oh, am I?

Not if Ginger isn't Ginger.

I could be anyone.

Or no one...

CARL: And we found this behind that medical company.

We figured they were trying to grow a giant millipede

and this is as far as they got.

Wait...

Yeah, yeah?!

[doorbell rings]

No... I almost had something.

Well, nice try, Carl.

Uh... uh... uh...

I know I've got to have something in here!

JOANN: Robert? Brandon's here.

What?

Your new best friend.

Thank you, Mrs. Bishop.

My, what a lovely hair band!

My mother has one just like it.

Thank you, Brandon.

Well, Carl, thanks for stopping by.

You know where the door is.

Got everything?

[Hoodsey and Brandon laughing]

Hood... sey...!

Uh, Ginger, about this new social studies class...

Yes, Mumma?

Could I have signed something

notallowing you to take it?

[laughs]

I just don't want to chip my nail polish.

It's Funky Raspberry.

[phone rings]

Something's funky, all right.

Hello?

Hi, Ginger, it's Dodie and Macie

and we're just calling so you can tell Macie

that you're really still Ginger and not Courtney

and you can be honest

since it's just the three of us

and we're not in school.

The thing of it is... we really miss you.

And Ginger misses you, too.

But I have to keep the line clear.

Mipsy emergency conference call's coming at : p.m.

But Ginger,this is an emergency!

I'm sorry, duty calls. Buh-bye.

What did she say?

Ginger misses us.

Did Ginger say that or did Courtney?

Courtney.

No...!

That's it!

I say it's time to get our girl back...

no matter what it takes!

The TV newspeople are here.

Uh, notice the wing-tips?

Very take-charge.

DODIE: Hi, um, Courtney?

We need some advice.

See, we have this friend...

only she's turned into someone else.

We're afraid she's gone for good.

Maybe it would help

if you don't think of her as gone, but as...

away on vacation.

Well, a person can't just come back from vacation

and act like she was never gone.

What kind of friendship would that be?

No friendship at all.

No... no, that's not true.

She can come back... I mean, I can.

Guys, let me come back from vacation.

What do you think?

I... I don't know.

I'm sorry... I'm so, so sorry.

Huh, wow... I guess I really got caught up in being Courtney.

And you were so good at it, there's another problem.

She wants you to fill in for her whenever she's out.

Oh, no...

How am I going to prove to Courtney

I'm really bad at being her?

Oh...

It's all coming back to me.

What Ginger would do, I mean.

What do you mean she's been absent three days in a row and needs a doctor's note?

I've been dropping her off at school every morning, including this one!

Hello?

Oh!

I tell you, this better be good.

[cameras clicking...]

Hey, what's going on?

Um, it's hard to tell.

Hey!

MIRANDA: What is she wearing?

That's not Friday's outfit.

And after my little brother was housebroken

we thought it was time to get him to stop chewing the furniture.

Your brother chews furniture?

[laughs] Pretty gross, huh?

No way. Eccentricity is the mark of real quality.

No, no, he is not eccentric.

He's just... really weird.

You know, I didn't want to switch schools at first

but when I heard about the fabulous Courtney Gripling...

And I am not as fabulous as you thought, right?

You're even better!

It's like you've managed to stay private school

in a public school setting. Amazing.

Since, you know, you're surrounded by...

well, take those girls.

Whoa, whoa, whoa...!

Aah!

[laughs] I can't wait to make fun of them.

It will be like I never left St. Philbin's.

You don't even know them.

Those girls are really nice.

Oh... I'm sure they're nice... very... nice.

You know, if you're second cousin

can't stand with you at the winter cotillion.

Are you saying they aren't

good enough for you?

[all gasp]

Uh, okay...faux pas.

Remain cool.

I may be Courtney Gripling, but I'm no snob!

But I am a snob! I am!

LOIS: Ginger!

What's going on?

Mom! I mean... Mrs. Foutley.

No, um, I mean, Mrs. Gripling.

The school called me and said

you'd been absent for three days

but here you are.

Uh, do we have a problem here?

What kind of school are you running?

Um, uh, an excellent one.

Uh, the best around.

Ah, a concerned parent.

This country could use more citizens like you.

Quick, smile.

You were a complete failure as Courtney.

Congratulations!

Well, it took a little help

from my best friends.

[Miranda snickers]

Well, looks like I was right.

Courtney really called this one wrong.

Didn't she...Ginger?

You know, "Ginger" sounds great even when you say it, Miranda.

GINGER: So, I guess I just cracked under the pressure.

I'm really sorry.

No need to apologize.

You mean, you're not mad?

Ginger, after a serious moment of self-reflection

I made a very important discovery.

There's only one person in the world

who can be Courtney Gripling.

Me!

[knock on door]

I told you, Gripling, I'm not interested.

Go peddle your resume at someone else's doghouse.

HOODSEY:Carl?

Huh?

I've been thinking.

I'd like to take a cr*ck at being this Hoodsey guy.

Really?

If you're willing to teach

I'm willing to learn.

I got to admit, that millipede in the formaldehyde

is pretty cool.

I even tried to get you to eat it once.

But... I said...

"Over my dead sweat socks!"

That's right!

Hoods, let me reintroduce you to my kitchen.

Great... 'cause I'm starving.

You know, this looks like

the beginning of a be-au-tiful friendship.

LOIS: Huh. That JoAnn-- what a firecracker.