01x03 - Buggin' Out/How Do You Solve a Problem Like Medusa

[bunniefuu]

♪

(Screaming)

♪

(Bats squeaking)

(Video game beeping)

Who would have thought exploding
giant bugs could be this great!

Boom! Gotcha!

I could do this all day.

Hey, uh, what time is it anyway?

Um, Friday?

Oh, okay, Friday.

Friday?!
We've been here five days?!

Uh, 12 actually.

Really good game.

So, I have two weeks
worth of work to do

before Aunt Lydia does
her inspection in...

15 minutes?!
(Screaming)

(Grunting)
That's mine!

(Poofing)

Oh, man.

If I don't get all this done,

Aunt Lydia's for sure going to
put me on waxing duty.

(Soft ambient music playing)
(Screaming)

First stop: t*rture chamber.

Pointy. Stretchy.

Breaky. Choppy.
Hungry.

Werewolves sharing connecting
rooms with werecats.

Ah, no time.

What's the worst
that could happen?

(Meowing)
(Snarling)

(Twinkling)

Ugh, done.

Now to hide in my room and hope
no one complains...

to Aunt Lydia.

Hi. Hi. It's so great
to see you.

No, it is not.

Tell me, Mavis,
was it not your responsibility

to service the t*rture chamber
equipment?

I went for a quick
decapitation. You know,

it's good to grow a fresh head
every couple of months,

but the guillotine blade
was dull.

Now I've got to
finish the job myself!

(Saw blade grating)

Did it.

(Sighing)

Well, I suppose there is
no serious harm done.

Assuming you did the
one essential job I gave you

that could bring the entire
hotel down if not completed.

(Gulping) Well, of course
I did that.

Good. Because naturally,
our guests expect

only the freshest and hungriest
bed bugs.

(Gasping) The bed bugs!

(Growling)

Are buggier and beddier
than ever!

I'm dead.

Or, like, more dead.

(Video game music chiming)

(Poofing)

(Electricity buzzing)

(Screaming)

Total disaster!

To-tal disaster!

We could've paused that,
you know.

Yeah, it's not the game's fault.

Yeah, it is. I forgot I was
supposed to fly to Spookarest

to buy fresh bed bugs this week.

You need bugs?

I got all kinds of bugs!

Lightning bugs, June bugs,
ladybugs, gentlemen bugs,

jitterbugs, litterbugs, humbugs.

Bed bugs!
I need bed bugs!

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Okay.

Easy, lady.

(Groaning)

Boom.

Spookarest bed bugs?
For real?

You're a lifesaver.

Now I just got to get them
in all the rooms

before the guests go to bed.

(Laughing)

(b*at boxing)

♪ Yo Mavis in da hizzouse ♪

♪ I'm rolling like a big louse ♪

♪ Dropping bugs with Hanky ♪

♪ He puts them on the blankie ♪

♪ Me I'm just a-winging them ♪

♪ Wendy's all a-flinging them ♪

♪ Pedro keeps on bringing them ♪

♪ And now it's time to
sing to them ♪

♪ Bedbugs in the hotel,
monsters love a bite ♪

♪ Bedbugs in the hotel ♪

♪ Sweet dreams, my bugs,
good night ♪

♪ Wikka waa ♪

(Yawning)

Oof!

A-hem.

About those bed bugs
you purchased.

(Gulping)

(Whinnying)

I am not one
for extravagant praise,

but Diane feels I need to be
more appreciative.

So...

(Throat clearing)
Adequate work.

(Coughing)

(Laughing) Nice.

Chalk one up for
irresponsibility!

What what!

Oh, Mavis, darling,

I want to thank you
for such a bitey night.

It almost made up

for my back hair getting tangled
in the hot tub filter.

Oh, um, thanks, I guess.

I thought braiding it
would keep me out of trouble.

Nope. (Laughing)

Any who, my husband
stole six pool towels

and I licked the TV remote.

Bye.

Okay, way too much information.
But--

(Laughing) Mavis!

Love the new bugs.

And I have to tell you,

I drank out of the toilet
last night and...

licked the TV remote.

Da svidaniya.

Ugh.

Okay, something's up,

because guests are sharing
way too much today.

(Grunting)
Get back here.

Hey, come on! Break it up!

Wendy said my stitches
are too symmetrical.

Pedro said for a year after we
met he thought I was a booger!

Hank says he uses me
to wipe his butt!

Mm, you know what?

You just can't find this kind of
softness and absorbency anymore.

Yeah, you got to
stop that.

Ow!
(Grunting)

Guys! Guys! Guys!

What is going on
around here today?

Huh? (Laughing)

Ah, everyone's probably
just extra honest

'cause we put truth bugs in all
the rooms instead of bed bugs.

(Laughing)

Oh, right. That makes sense.
What?!

Yeah, I figured it out
last night.

But was too embarrassed to admit

I couldn't tell
my own bugs apart.

Actually, I'm not even sure why
I'm telling you right now.

Oh.

Maybe it's the truth bugs.
Holy rabies!

Okay, let's not freak out
just yet.

I bet no one
will even notice.

(Screaming)

MAVIS:
Oh, no.

All this truth-telling has made
everybody mad at each other.

I've got to fix this
before Aunt Lydia finds out.

There must be
someone gross around here

that knows about bugs.

Mmhmm.

Dr. Gillman, Dr. Gillman!

Whoa, what's wrong
with your head?

Ah, I'm just growing a new one.

Now, how can I be of service?

I need to know
about truth bugs.

Okay, okay, truth bugs.
Truth bugs.

Ah, here we go.

It says here, "they bite you and
then make you tell the truth."

Right, I guess
you knew that part.

Well, apparently,
"the bugs feed on these truths,

"and vampires are the only
monsters immune to the bites."

So, that's why I haven't been
spilling my guts all over.

Okay, so, how do we
get rid of them?

It ain't easy.

Truth bugs can't be squashed or
poisoned or nagged to death,

or even b*rned with
an enchanted magnifying glass.

(Groaning) So, we just have to
listen to the truth forever?

Well, that.

And bites from full-grown bugs
melt monsters' brains.

I probably should've
led with that.

So, they're invincible
and melt brains?

Yeah, sorry.

Recent studies suggest the bugs
are vulnerable to overeating.

Of course, those studies are
run by quacks like me, so--

Wait, overeating?

How?

Just like this schmo here.

Keep laying truth on these ugly
suckers and they go kablooey!

And kablooey is a medical term?

Yep.

I did a whole unit on kablooey
in swamp monster med school.

Right before I flunked out.

♪

Guys, stop!

Stop what?

These truth bugs are
going to melt our brains!

Whoa!
What?
Brains?

We need to overfeed them the
truth, then kablooey!

Is that a medical term?

Yep. Quick, you guys,
more honesty.

(Chomping)
Ow!

Yes, Mavis.

Man, you got to be the bossiest
vampire in Transylvania.

Ah, yeah. That's the way.

(Chomping)
Oh!

I once saw Mavis show a zombie

a more efficient way
to eat brains.

Like, micromanage much?

Oh, okay. Great.

Uh, but everything doesn't
have to be about me, right?

(Chomping)
Ow!

Huh, that's nothing!

Did you know Mavis toots
into the coffin

when she thinks
no one's watching?

(Exploding)

Great work.
Truth b*mb.

(Guests screaming)
(Gasping)

(Screaming)

Everyone, listen!

We can stop this! These bugs
are going to melt your brains

unless you tell the truth!

(Laughing)
Keep looking, dude,

hasn't been a brain in there
since I got mummified.

Show 'em what's up, guys!

My billionaire dad

steals ketchup packs
from the hotel restaurant!

(Screeching)

(Exploding)

I'm only 75 years old.

I just tell people I'm ancient
to look cool!

My middle name is Norma.

I love pork chops.

My kids ate the werecat family
in the adjoining room next door.

(Laughing)

(Splattering)

It's working. It's working!

(Grunting)
What's wrong?

Sorry, Mavis, I think we're
all out of truth.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

No, we don't have enough truth
to explode the bugs?

We're ruined.

I don't even deserve
to work at this hotel.

LYDIA:
Yes, you do.

(Exploding)

You are a Dracula.

Prove me right.

Wow.

Okay.

You want the truth? You got it.

I grew a moustache
when I was 90,

and told everyone
it was chocolate milk.

And, yes, I do toot in the
coffin when no one's watching!

Mavis, you did it!

We're saved.
(Roaring)

(Rumbling)
(Screaming)

I take that back.
We're all doomed.

It's the queen!

Come on, Mavis,
you can end this.

But I only have one truth left,

and it's not really
something I want to--

Truth! Truth! Truth! Truth!
Truth! Truth! Truth! Truth!

(Rapidly chanting):
Truth!

LYDIA:
You are a Dracula.

Prove me right.

(Bug snarling)

I'm responsible for bringing
truth bugs into the hotel.

This is all my fault.

Go, Mavis!
(Cheering)

You're way heavier
than you look!

(Grunting)

Okay, I hope
this wears off soon.

I'm not sure how much more
honesty I can take.

I am betting it will wear off

about the same time you are
finished yeti waxing duty.

Yes, ma'am.

But, Aunt Lydia,

what you said before about my
deserving to work at the hotel?

Truth bugs don't work on
vampires.

HB
(Heavy metal music playing)

One, two, three, four!

G-g-g-guts!

G-g-g-g-garlic!

G-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g!

Yeah!

What is going on?

(Screaming)

Ah!
(Cymbals clashing)

(Guitar strumming)

Diane was in the middle of
re-enacting a riveting tale.

(Clucking)

(Laughing)

Mavis, explain yourself.

We're just friends having fun.

And I can tell by your face,
fun with friends is over.

A face which should be
welcoming guests to our hotel,

instead of wasting what feels
like an eternity looking at you.

Get back to work!

Lydia out.

Aunt Lydia is such
a stake in the mud!

So, now I can't
have fun with my friends?

(Grunting)
(Pounding)

Hang on,
maybe that's the problem.

Maybe she's miserable because
she doesn't have many friends.

Many? You mean any friends.

None. Zero. Nada.

Zero.

I said zero again 'cause that
time I said it in Polish.

Maybe if she had a friend,
she wouldn't be so miserable.

And maybe if we cheered her up,
she'd leave us alone.

But we just established
she's got no friends.

Zero. Hey, I'm bilingual.

Hey, I just thought of
someone else who was undead

when Aunt Lydia was a kid

who might just know
if she ever had a bestie.

Mavis out.

(Grunting)

(Thudding)
Ugh.

One day that's going to work.

(Video game music beeping)

♪

How dare you come onto my turf!

I'll tear you limb from limb.

(Gasping)
Here, take these!

(Grunting)

Um, Uncle Gene.

Mavis.

Has Aunt Lydia ever
had a friend?

Nope. Never.

Told you.

Wait, there was this one girl,

with a look so cold,
she could turn you to stone.

And snakes for hair.

Do you mean Medusa?

That's the one.

Yes. Thank you.

Told ya.

But Lydia totally
hated that girl.

(Laughing)

(Spitting)

Glad we don't have to
see her ever again.

(Laughing)

I have to milk my cows.

Why would I want to milk
a bunch of cows?

(Laughing) Sucker!

Now, Jim, this is super urgent.

I need express, ultrafast
delivery. Got it?

Jim's the best. Look at him go.

This is so exciting!

What girl wouldn't want to hear
from her childhood BFF?

Maybe the girl
with snakes for hair
who turns everyone to stone?

Plus, you're not her BFF.

Relax, Medusa will never know

I was pretending to be
Aunt Lydia in that letter.

Yeah, 'cause your opening line
of, "Hey, girlfriend!"

sounds exactly like something

the evil dark baroness
would say.

Right?

(Stamping)

Oh, child.

Why are you being an even
greater nuisance than usual?

Oh, no special reason.

Just wondering if
that face of yours

has welcomed any new guests.

Maybe a blast from the past?

(Woman laughing)

(Laughing continues)

Oh, hi.

Lydi-uh.

(Gasping)

Medusa.

(Throat clearing)

Woe to the hand that shed
this costly blood. Ha.

Oops.

So sorry, Lydi-uh.

She is such a back stabber.

MEDUSA:
Uh, what a dump.

I never thought I'd set foot
in this place again.

But then I got your adorable
letter with all the teen speak.

(Laughing)

Adorable? Letter? Teen speak?

(Growling)

(Snapping)

Careful, you don't want to
make such an ugly face.

I might just
make it stay that way.

(Hissing)

(Clucking)

(Zapping)

(Laughing)

Oh, and, Lydi, set my bags
by the bed, would you?

(Growling)

(Snapping)

Oh.

Be glad you're already undead!

Ooh-hoo-hoo.

You see the look she gave you?

I thought you were
going to explode!

(Laughing) Guess you learned
your lesson, huh?

Yup. If I'm going to
cheer up Aunt Lydia

I've got to be way more blatant
with my interference.

To Medusa, from--

Nope.

Love, your BFF Lydia.

♪ Do you know the boogeyman ♪

♪ The boogeyman, the boogeyman ♪

♪ Do you know the boogeyman ♪

♪ He lives under your bed ♪
No.

Way!

♪ La la la la la la la ♪

♪ La la la ♪
I turn you to stone.

And you to stone.

And I turn you to stone.

And I turn you to stone.

(Hissing)

(Screaming)

Holy rabies. Holy rabies.

I turned you to stone.
I turned you to stone.

Sorry. Sorry. So so sorry.

How do I turn you back?
(Hissing)

Oh, no. Ugh. No.

Don't. Ow.

Ow. I'm going to call you bitey.

(Hissing)

Psst, tell my friends
I need help.

I told you this
wouldn't end well.

No, you didn't.

Well, I meant to.
Wow.

Okay, I need help
to fix things,

but I can't go out
looking like this.

Why am I still talking to you?

Hank. Wendy.

Pedro.
(Screaming)

(Screaming)

Medusa, coming through.
(Screaming)

(Screaming)

(Clucking)

LYDIA:
Medusa.

(Laughing)

I knew she wore stilts.

(Panting)

You won't believe
what's happened.

You turned Medusa to stone.

No! I turned Medusa to stone.

We know, a shrunken head
told us.

And so, maybe we...hid her.

Oh, thank you.

Where is she?

Right, well, here's the thing.

Before we hid her...

we kind of, um...

broke her.

(Gasping)

We're still trying to
glue her back together.

Oh, found her big toe.

Hey! That's my big toe.

Uh, dude, it's clearly mine.

(Chewing)

Huh. You're right.

Forget your toes!

Look at my hair.
(Screaming)

That is a terrible haircut.

Well, I think it's pretty.

Aw, thank you.

But also...we got to get these
snakes off my head!

They're totally stuck.

(Grunting)

(Screaming)

(Thudding)

Ow.

Ugh, this is hopeless.

We need to get these snakes
off my head

to reverse the curse on Medusa.
(Thudding)

The only monster who might know
what to do is Aunt Lydia,

and I can't exactly ask her.

(Gasping)
Wait, Uncle Gene.

No, I'm Wendy.

I think maybe the snakes
are on too tight.

(Snoring)

I can't believe I'm stuck
with snakes for hair.

Of all the times for Uncle Gene
to be asleep.

(Snoring)

Wait, when I found the snakes,
Medusa was singing in the shower

and her snakes were asleep.

You're saying we need a nap.

On it.

No, I'm saying we need to
sing the snakes to sleep.

(Snoring)

How is that even possible?

Shh, Mummy needs
his beauty rest.

(Banging)

♪ Yes, I know the boogeyman ♪

♪ The boogeyman, the boogeyman ♪

♪ Yes, I know the boogeyman ♪

♪ He's hiding under your bed ♪

Right now he's trying to
sleep over here!

(Slamming)

♪ La la la la la la la ♪

(Gasping) It worked.

(Whispering) They're asleep.

LYDIA:
Who goes there?

Diane needs to rest
for her next performance.

(Snoring)

Medusa?
(Hissing)

They're waking up.

Run! I know a secret shortcut.

Hm.

Your secret shortcut goes right
through the hotel lobby?

During unhappy hour?!

(Sobbing)

I love unhappy hour.

(Sobbing)
♪ You know the boogeyman ♪

♪ The boogeyman, the boogeyman ♪

♪ La la la la la la la ♪

♪ La la la la la la ♪

Mavis, they're asleep!

Get those snakes
off your head now!

It worked.

LYDIA:
Mavis?

(Gasping)

That's you?

Uh-oh.

Uh.

(Screaming)

What is her face doing?

I...I...I don't know.

Is that a...

She's kind of sort of--

Oh, no.

She's going to--

ALL:
Smile?

MAVIS:
It is... a smile.
Sort of.

I think she's happy.

Really, really happy.

Kind of?

Why are you in my wrap?

(Gasping, gulping nervously)

Because she wears it
so much better than you.

Oh!

Oh, my glasses are stuck.

(Grunting)

Oh,(Laughing) I've wanted to you
yosay that for centuries.m?

And as for you, you're grounded.

For having brought Medusa here
in the first place.

Since that was the first
and probably last time

I will almost see you smile,

it was totally worth it.

Is one of my arms on backwards?

I just got a manicure.

Boo-yeah.