01x06 - International Dateline

[bunniefuu]

London, can you tell me what this is? A bad manicure? No.

Oh! Ugh.

Okay.

Has anyone heard of the international dateline? What you say to a French babe so she'll go out with you? No.

It's an imaginary line created in 1884, to the east of which the day is a day earlier than it is to the west.

So when you cross the dateline, you have to turn your clocks back 24 hours, a full day.

Correct.

Yay.

Which is what we're going to do tonight.

That works for me.

If tomorrow is gonna be today again, then today is actually yesterday, which means that yesterday's homework isn't due today.

It's really due tomorrow.

In other words, you didn't do your homework? Yet.


- ( Pop music playing )
- oh
-ay
-oh! oh
-ay
-oh! come along with me let's head out to see what this world has for you and for me now whichever way the wind blows we say hey, ho, let's go!
- oh
-ay
-oh!
- this boat's rockin'
- oh
-ay
-oh!
- ain't no stopping us now 'cause we're living the suite life
- oh
-ay
-oh!
- this boat's rockin'
- oh
-ay
-oh!
- rockin' the whole world 'round and we're living the suite life now hey, ho! Oh
-ay
-oh! Lets go! ( Rock music playing ) ( Gasping ) ( Chuckles ) Dude, you're crying.

Chick flick marathon or cooking with onions? Neither.

Woody has been cutting the cheese for the past hour.

Is that what that was? I thought that was the ship's foghorn.

Our room is filled with noxious gas.

One spark and the entire ship could blow up.

It'd better not.

I'm deejaying the dance tonight.

Now which style do you like better? There's wolfman Zack.

( Howls ) ( Gruffly ) Hey, this is wolfman Zack spinning the hits of yesterday, today and tomorrow, baby.

Or yo yo yo, this is grandmaster Zack kickin' it old school with the wheels of steel.

( Mimics record scratching ) Mm
-hmm! Hope there's a third choice.

But if you're deejaying tonight, I need you to play a slow song for Bailey and me.

I didn't know there was a Bailey and you.

There will be.

Tonight, I'm gonna make my move and get out of the friend zone.

Hah! Good luck.

Once you're in the friend zone, there's no getting out.

It's like the maze on the kiddie menu at Benny's.

Most four
-year
-olds can do those.

( Sneers ) Nuh
-uh! No matter which way the horsie goes, he always runs into a cactus.

Not with this cowboy in the saddle.

Tonight, when the mood is right and we're dancing under the moonlight, I'm gonna make my move.

( Rain pattering ) You can forget that under the moonlight thing.

They're probably gonna move the dance inside.

( expl*si*n )
- What happened to you?
- I don't know.

I shuffled across the floor, touched a doorknob, there was a flash, and all of a sudden the room smelled like burnt bologna.

Boys, if you are not going to help decorate, put those balloons down!
- ( Gasps )
- Ahoy! AhHoy.

And you are? ( Scottish accent ) Haggis
-
- ship's engineer.

There be a storm a
-brewin' and it's shaping up to be a real crackerjack! Yes, that's why we're moving the school dance in here.

I was told it was supposed to be senior citizen's karate.

That's why I'm here, to batten down the hatches.

Don't want any of the old birds sliding into the drink.

But we have nowhere else to hold the dance.

As it is, we had to lose our sugar fantasy theme when the rain hit and melted all the candy bells and chocolate fairies.

( Hyper ) Miss tutweiller, miss tutweiller, I did what you said.

I got rid of all the candy, but I didn't want it to go to waste, so I ate a lot of it, and now I'm feeling really good, really really really good.

What do you want me to now? I could hang streamers
- or blow up balloons or
-
-
- Madison! Relax.

First of all, no more sugar for the rest of your life.

Why don't you just take a seat?
- Good idea!
- Oh no, I
-
- maritime madness.

Seen many a sailor struck by it.

One day they seem fine, the next, you find them in their skivvies making kissy
-face with a mackerel.

( Lips smack ) It's not as fun as it sounds.

( Dance music playing )
- What are you doing?
- Dancing.

It looks like you're milking a cow.

That's the name of the dance.

Oh.

Well, do you know this one? Oh yeah, the sheep shear.

No, silly, the credit card swipe.

Hey, Cody, I was reading online that the number one thing girls look for in a guy
- is a sense of humor.


- Nah, that's just what comedy writers say to feel better about themselves.

So I found the perfect joke to score with the babes.


- Let me try it out on you.


- I'm kinda busy, dude.

A patient goes to the doctor's office but he can't speak.

The doctor examines him and says, "I know what the problem is.

You're a little hoarse.

"
- I don't get it.


- Oh.

Did I mention the patient was a pony? Yeah, that's important.

Mm, shrimp! Hey, Zack, can you play a fast song? 'Cause I really love to dance and I like to dance fast! Oh, there's someone I know! Hi! What's going on?! Hey! Zack, I need you to play this song so I can dance with Bailey.

Word up, code red.

I will add your request to the queue.


- You are
- ( Beeps )
- Number 27.


- Can't you bump me up? I'm your brother.

Yeah, of course, for five bucks.

Would you look at that? Your song is next.

Excuse me, Sonny, is this the senior citizen karate class? No, it's our school dance.

No, 'cause it says right here in the schedule that it's in this room.

Well, it must've gotten moved.

No, it's supposed to be here.

I'm going for my blue belt tonight to match my hair.

So the doctor says, "you're a little hoarse.

" Come on, I even remembered to say that the patient was a pony.

I'm gonna sit next to you so people think we're together.

Well, we can't have you kids dancing around in our karate class.

For the 10th time, and I have been counting, your class isn't here.

You can ask the cruise director though.

Oh, what a good idea.

Such a nice young man.

But cut your hair.

You look like a beatnik.

Cody, I need your sewing kit.

I tore my dress! Now instead of looking fantabulous, I just look hotmazing.


- Um, I'm kind of busy.


- If you don't help me, I'll cry, then my makeup will run and I'll barely look wowtastic! Okay okay, let's see Bear repellent, snakebite antivenom, pocket parachute Backup pocket parachute Ah! Hoy, haggis.

What are you doing topside? It's the storm.

Neptune's Hawking a giant loogie right in our kissers.

Yeah, I think I got a little taste of that.

I just wanted to make sure you were okay, a delicate little sea cucumber like yourself.

Oh, I'm fine, thanks.

Chimp pheromones, gamma ray deflector Here it is
-
- sewing kit.

All right, everybody, grab a partner.


- We're gonna slow things down a bit.


- ( Slow music playing )
- Gotta go.


- Ha ha.

Gotta sew.


- Oh, I love this song.


- Me too.

You, uh
-
- you wanna dance? Uh, sure.

That's supposed to be our song.

Attention, everyone: We will be crossing the international dateline in three, two, one.

London, can you tell me what this is? A bad manicure? No.

Oh! Ugh.

Okay.

Has anyone heard of the international dateline? Wait a second.

What's going on here? We already learned about the international dateline.

I'm sorry if you read ahead, Cody, but I have to teach to the lowest common denominator.

Whoa whoa, we're doing math now? I thought this was geography.

No, I mean, what happened to the dance? You mean the one we're having tonight? Whoa.

I'm having the strangest sense of deja vu.

Deja who? No, deja vu.

It's French for "I've seen this all before.

" Wait a second.

We're doing French? I thought this was math.

( Rock music playing ) ( Gasping ) ( Chuckles ) Dude, you're crying.

Chick flick marathon or cooking with onions? I swear I've lived this day before.

Hey, your life is just so boring it seems that way.

Anyway, look, I'm deejaying the dance tonight.

Now which style do you like better?
- There's wolfman Zack
-
-
- that's crazy, that's crazy.

You're right.

I should go with grandmaster Zack.

( Mimics record scratching ) mm
-hmm! I've seen that all before.

Hey, it's hard to come up with original stuff.

Zack, I'm not saying that you're unoriginal, which you are
-
- I'm saying that something weird is going on.

One minute I'm trying to get over to dance with Bailey, and then the next, it's like it never happened.

That's because it didn't happen.

The dance is tonight.

You're right.

The dance is tonight.

Maybe fate has given me a second chance to tell Bailey how I feel and finally get out of the friend zone.

( Sneers ) Good luck.

Once you're in the friend zone, there's no getting out.

It's like the maze on the kiddie menu at Benny's.

Look, you said that all before.

And that happened before too! Next, Woody is going to explode his butt fumes.


- Watch.


- ( expl*si*n ) I could've predicted that.

( Dance music playing ) Hey, Cody, I was reading online
-
- yeah, girls like a sense of humor.

Sure, I'll hear your joke, but let's make it fast.

A patient goes to the doctor's office
-
- a pony.

The patient is a pony.

Right, thanks.

A pony goes to the doctor's office but he can't speak.

The doctor examines him and says, "I know what the problem is.


- You're a little hoarse.

"
- Ha ha ha, funny! Bye! Mm, shrimp.

Hey! Hi! What's going on? Hey.

Zack, I need you to play this song now.

Word up, code red.

I will add your request to the queue.


- You are
- ( Beeps ) Next.

But, you know, you are my brother;
- I would've done it for nothing.


- Yeah, right.

Excuse me, Sonny, is this the senior citizen karate class?
- No, it's our school dance.


- No.


- It says right here in the schedule
-
-
- fine.

This is the senior karate class.

Show me what you got.


- Hai.


- Hai.

( Battle cry ) Hi
-ya! Whoa.

Oh, look, a little boy fell.

No, you're the cutest.

Oh, Cody, thank goodness I found you! I've got a tear in my dress! Now instead of looking fantabulous
- I barely look
-
-
- hotmazing, I know.

Got a sewing kit right here.

All right, almost done.

Now I just need you to extend your leg.

Okay.

Sorry.

Her bad.

All good.

All right, everybody, grab a partner.

We're gonna slow things down a bit.


- ( Slow music playing )
- Oh, I love this song.

I picked it for you.

Care to dance? Um, it's kind of slow, isn't it? Can't exactly do the milkmaid to it.

Yeah, but it's better for talking.

That's true.

So did you finish the proof on that geometry problem? Yeah, but tonight I thought we could talk about other things Besides math? Oh, I get it.

You want to talk about the science project.

Not exactly.

I want to talk about us.

You know, Bailey, I really like you a lot.

Me too.

We've really become great friends.

Yeah, but I want us to be more than friends.

What do you think about that? ( Vomits ) A simple "no" would have been enough.

I think I ate some bad shrimp.

I think I need a new hat.

Attention, everyone: We will be crossing the international dateline in three, two, one.

London, can you tell me what this is? A bad manicure? Not again.

I know.

Her nails are bad every day.

( Rock music playing ) ( Gasping ) ( Chuckles ) Dude, you're crying.

Not from chick flicks.

Not from onions.

I'm living the same day over and over again.

Okay.

Anyway, back to reality.

Look, I'm deejaying the dance tonight and
-
- I know, I know, I know.

You're trying to decide which style you're gonna choose.

( Mimics howl ) Wolfman Zack or grandmaster Zack.

( Mimics record scratching ) Mm
-hmm! Okay, that's spooky.

See, we've lived this day before twice.

I got closer to Bailey last night, but she threw up when I told her I wanted us to be more than friends.

Ha! There's a shock.

Vomit speaks louder than words.

It was the bad shrimp.

But tonight is gonna be different.

I've taken a dance class and I'm gonna win her on the dance floor.

I've seen you dance.

One class ain't gonna cut it.

Then I'll take it Whatever it takes to get out of the friend zone with Bailey.

Ha! Good luck.

Once you're in the friend zone
-
- it is not like the maze on the kiddie menu at Benny's.

Okay, now you're freaking me out.

I told you.

I know everything that's going to happen.

Like, that porthole is going to fly open now.


- And here comes the expl*si*n
- ( expl*si*n ) And crispy Woody.

Don't you see? Fate has given me a chance to get it right with Bailey.

So what you're saying is we're gonna have to keep reliving this day
- until you get a girl to like you?
- That's right.

Boy, are we in trouble.

( Dance music playing )
- Hey, Cody
-
-
- "you're a little hoarse.

" Great joke.

The ladies will love you.


- Thanks.


- No problem.

Why don't you celebrate with shrimp? Okay.

Gosh darn it, where are all the shrimp? Yes, everything is going according to plan.

Miss pepperman, over here.

Do I know you? Are you one of my grandkids? Nope, I'm your sensei.

Welcome, honorable pupil.


- Hai.


- Hai.


- ( Battle cry )
- Congratulations, miss pepperman, you have earned your blue belt.

Yes! I gotta go show my mom! Oh, Cody, thank goodness I found you.

Your dress is ripped.

Don't worry.

( Snaps ) Expert seamstress at your service.

Wow! You're telepathetic! And I thought you just walked around with stupid stuff like bear repellent.

Oh, it's not stupid.

You never know when you have to repel something unsavory.

( Coughs ) Oh! ( Roars ) ( Vomits ) All right, everybody, grab a partner.


- We're gonna slow things down a bit.


- ( Slow music playing )
- Oh, I love this song.


- I picked it just for you.

Care to dance? I know it's pretty slow, but it's better for talking.

Okay.

So did you finish the proof on that geometry problem? Yeah, but tonight I thought we could talk about other things besides math.

Oh, I get it.

You want to talk about the science project.

Not exactly.

Oh, that was fun.

You were saying? I, uh, forgot.

Wow, Cody.

Don't talk.

Tonight, we speak the language of dance.

London, can you tell me what this is? No! You're probably right, Cody, but let's give her a chance anyway.


- And now here comes the expl*si*n
- ( expl*si*n ) And crispy Woody.

Okay, look, I believe you, but why does this keep happening? At first, I thought it was fate giving me a chance with Bailey, but even when I swept Bailey off her feet, we were thrown back in time.

Whoa whoa whoa.

You swept Bailey off her feet? We were this close to kissing, but she doesn't remember any of it and she never will.

We're trapped in a temporal loop caused by a lightning
-induced disruption on the space
-time continuum.

Huh? Like the kiddie menu at Benny's,
- horsie can't get out.


- Oh! Why didn't you just say so? ( Dance music playing ) Listen, haggis, I know this is gonna sound like I have maritime madness,
- but I need your key to the bridge.


- Ha! The ship keeps getting struck by lightning the moment we cross the international dateline, but if I reduce our speed, we won't be there when the lightning hits and we won't have to live the same day over and over again.

Ah, the same thing happened to me when I was a mere guppy.

Here you go.

Codspeed.

Why are you sitting so close to me? I was just
-
- I didn't say I didn't like it.

Attention, everyone: We will be crossing the international dateline in three, two, one.

Well, that's it.

Not much to it really.

Carry on.

( Slow music playing )
- Thanks, haggis.


- Aye.

Dude, you did it.


- How did you do it?
- Well, I figured since haggis believed me, the first mate might too, so I just told him the truth.

And then he called me a loony bird, so I spilled root beer on the control panel.

Well, the international dateline is behind us.

I guess fate doesn't want us together.

Don't say that.

And you can't give up after one day even though you have lived it 87 times.

Well, my chances aren't looking so good.

Uh, no, I wouldn't worry about that guy.

Why? He's tall, he's good
-looking, he does a great bear impression.


- How do I compete with that?
- Ha.

Just trust me.

I don't think it's gonna last.

How can you be so sure? ( Vomits ) Oh gross! My shoes! How did he get the bad shrimp? Don't say I never did anything for you.