03x21 - Prom Night

[bunniefuu]

Come in! Hey, Mr.

Moseby.

Hello, Bailey.

What can I do for you? Well, my parents sent me this new picture of our farm.

And I wanted to make sure none of our sheep went missing in the Tornado.

Could you count 'em for me? Okay.

I guess.

Right, let's see what we have here.

One, two,
- Three mm
-hmm.


- Yup.


- Come in.


- Hey, Mr.

Moseby.

Hi.

Just got my classical cd of the month.


- And thought you'd enjoy it.


- Oh.

That is lovely.

Come on in.

Hey, Mr.

Moseby.

I thought you might be hungry, So I brought you a nummy Turkey sandwich Well, half a nummy Turkey sandwich.

Mmm.

Mmm, that's good.

Come in.

Hey there, little guy.

I heard Woody brought you a sandwich.

And thought you might like to wash it down.

With a nice glass of warm milk.


- Num num num num num.


- Oh.

Well, thank you.

You kids are being so thoughtful today.

Well, we are seniors now.


- We're more mature.


- Mmm.

Oh, thank you.

That's ni yeah, right there.

Oh.

59? Come in.

Hiya, moseby.

Hello, London.

Did you bring me something too? Uh
-huh.

I brought something that'll knock you out.

Ah.

Oh.

91 Who left the window open in my cabin? I Zack, this is the greatest senior prank of all time.

Oh, thank you, thank you.

But I couldn't have done it without you guys.

Hey, what are you guys looking at?
- Marion?!
- Emma! How dare you?! I finally get a boyfriend.

And you send him into the stratosphere.

Somebody help.

oh ay oh, oh ay oh come along with me and let's head out to see what this world has for you and for me now whichever way the wind blows
- we say
- Hey
-ho, let's go!
- oh ay oh
- This boat's rocking
- oh ay oh
- Ain't no stopping us now 'cause we're living the suite life
- oh ay oh
- This boat's rocking
- oh ay oh
- Rocking the whole world round and we're living the suite life now hey ho! Oh ay oh let's go! Don't worry, Marion.

The tipton helicopter's on the way to rescue you Right after it stops off at shmenkmen's deli.

To pick up Mr.

Tipton's lunch.

Well, they'd better hurry! It looks like there's a storm coming in! Hello? Marion? Oh! Darn dropped calls! Bailey, I just got our two tickets to prom.

Oh, perfect.

I can't wait.


- Mmm, I'm so excited.


- You are? Have you picked out your dress yet? I will not apologize.

For looking forward to prom.

Prom is just another lame event made up by girls.

To make guys spend money and dress up in monkey suits.

Sweetie, I am so excited for prom.

I was just saying the same exact thing to Cody.

Bailey, remember your impossible dream of becoming prom queen?
- Yeah.


- I've decided not to run.

To give you ugly girls a chance to feel better about yourselves.

You're welcome.

The truth is, since London's won prom queen.

Her last three senior years, I had to set a term limit.

Hey, woodster, wanna go grab lunch? No, thanks.

I'm already full Full of embarrassment and regret.

That sounds like your territory, Cody.


- What's wrong, buddy?
- Forget it.

It's humiliating.

Oh, come on.

You can tell us anything.

We won't laugh.

I won't laugh.

Okay.

I don't have a date for prom.

Oh.

Well, that's easy.

I'll set you up.

You want a brunette? Blonde? Redhead? Or if you like 'em blue
-haired, We can go grab one off the shuffleboard court.

I don't want to go with just any girl.

I want to go with Addison, but she'd never go with me.

Are you kidding? Just this morning.

She was looking at you the way you look at roast beef.

Oh! Thank goodness! The tipton helicopter.

Over here! Over here! You have entered restricted airspace! Oh! That's not the tipton helicopter! Land your craft immediately.

Or we'll be forced to sh**t you down! No no no no no! Hold your fire! Hold your fire! I float in peace! Vote for Bailey for prom queen.

Vote for Bailey.

Hi, Bailey.

What are you doing? Campaigning for prom queen.

My mama was prom queen.

And my grammy.

And my great
-grammy.

And my Uncle Zeke, but we don't like to talk about that.

Anyway, have a button.

Ow! Oh, it's in the bone.

It's in the bone.

I've gotta see the nurse.

Hey, Addison, you going to prom? Well, I was hoping Woody would ask me, but he hasn't.

It's a shame, because I bought the most beautiful dress.

But I thought it was sad to have a dress without a date, So I returned it but I told them to keep it on hold.

Just in case he does ask me.

Is that still sad? What's sad is a modern woman waiting to be asked.

Look, senior prom is a magical night you'll remember forever.

Plus if you're not there, you can't vote for me.


- Okay okay.


- Oh, and while you're asking Woody, See if you can cram his fro into one of these.

No, mom, I did not send Steve a card.

Because it's called father's day, Not dude
-who
-moves
- into
-your
-house
-and
- acts
-like
-a
-jerk day.

Okay, I love you too, mommy.

Hey, Woody.

Vote for Bailey.

Hey, how'd it go with Addison? Well, I haven't actually asked her yet.

What are you waiting for? Prom's only two days away.

I know but I'm worried about something.


- What?
- Okay.

The truth is and don't tell anyone I've never kissed a girl.

No.

Yes! And what if I'm not any good at it? Don't worry, man.

I'll help you practice.

Okay, but I'm warning you I didn't brush my teeth today.

Not with me.

I think you should practice.

On something a little more in your comfort zone.

Meet hamela Anderson.

Mmm, definitely my type Sweet, tender and baked.

Here, now just go for it.


- Mmm arr
- Woody! You just took a chunk out of hamela's cheek.

Now let me show you how it's done.

First you have to warm her up.

So like preheat the oven to 350? I mean some sweet talk.

Ooh.

Wow.

You look gorgeous.

Wow, your lips are so sweet.

Hey, guys, I made it Ah.

That was amazing.

Wow.

You really know how to treat a ham.

Yup.

Your turn.

Hi, hamela.

You look Good enough to eat.

Um, Mmm.

You smell so sweet.

I just want to hold you close And never let you go.

Kiss me.

Mwah! In the 192os, people got around prohibition laws.

By having secret parties in places called speakeasies.

Now as you can see from this map of Chicago I wonder how that got there.

Oh.

Look, Bailey, I don't blame you for wanting to win.

I've got a prom queen crown myself.

Oh, you won prom queen? Did you go to an all
-boy school or something? No, I got the crown.

When I ran onstage and ripped it off.

Of Cindy dunklemyer's perfect head Along with a fistful of her perfect blonde hair! Why do you guys care so much about this prom queen thing? I just want to have fun.

Oh! I see what you're doing.

What? Pretending you don't care about being prom queen.

When you really do.

I mean you obviously read.

That study on how false humility appeals to voters.

No, I didn't.

I don't have a subscription to "psycho
-chick" monthly.

Oh, you want to make this campaign about mudslinging? Because no one slings mud like me, sister.

In fact one year that was literally my job on the farm.


- Okay, ladies.

Ladies, please.


- Yes, it was.


- I'm a hard worker.


- We all care about prom.

I mean, after all it's the one day a year I get to dress up and look pretty, Pretending my life is still full of promise and opportunity.

You? Look pretty? Only if you mean pretty average.

For a badger
-faced, broken
-down Cat lady.

London, I feel like our banter.

Has lost some of its playful subtlety.

Psst, Addison! I have something important to ask you.

Read the note.

You're supposed to read it before you crumple it And throw it at my face.

I'm back! Quiet! It might interest you to know.

That after you set me adrift I was struck by lightning, Forced to land by a m*llitary helicopter.

And eventually rescued.

By a particularly loathsome baboon.

I'll spare you the rest of the details, Because after that it got really nasty.

You think that's funny? Well, maybe you'll think this is funny.

Prom is canceled! Mr.

Moseby, you can't cancel prom! Please, Marion, prom is an institution! Don't deprive me I mean them Of that.

I didn't go to my prom and I ended up just fine.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go wash the smell of baboon off of me.

There goes my chance to win prom queen.

Well, don't worry about it, Bailey.

You'll always be a queen to me.

Does that put a crown on my head? Does it? So what if we miss prom? There's always next year.

Not all of us plan on repeating senior year until we're senior citizens.

I can't believe we're not getting a prom.

It's okay, it's just a dance.

I know, but I was looking forward to dancing with you.

Especially the slow dances.

Holding each other close, My arms here.

Your arms here.

We need to get prom back on! But I thought you said prom was Zip it, Cody.

Prom is an amazing, Beautiful event that we need to have.

Well, I agree, but Mr.

Can't
-take
-a
-joke has made up his mind.

Hey, I have an idea.

How about we have a secret prom? Like what you said before about those talk
-easies.

And probation and such? Zack, that is brilliant.

And actually bears some resemblance.

To what I taught! Ha! Halt! Who goes there?
- It's me.


- And me.

You two have the same name? That's suspicious.


- What's the secret password?
- I didn't know there was a password.


- That's because I just made it up.


- Then how are we supp
- Money.


- Go on in.

Hey, kids, welcome to secret senior prom.

Thanks.

This is awesome.

Oh, I'm gonna dance my little heart out.

Wow, you look gorgeous, Bailey.

Cody, don't tell me.

Tell the voters.

Bailey, I really need your advice.


- Vote for me for prom queen.


- I meant about Woody.

Woody should vote for me for prom queen too.

I really wanted to come to prom with Woody, So what am I supposed to do when he walks in.

With his other woman? Know what you're gonna do? You should March right up to that woman, Look her dead in the eyes and say, "vote Bailey for prom queen.

" Then kick her in the shin.

Oh, man! I ripped my tuxedo.

Don't worry.

Nothing that can't be fixed with a little duct tape.

People are gonna laugh at me.


- I look like an idiot.


- Oh, no you don't.

No one will even notice.

What's with the duct tape? You look like an idiot.

That's it.

I'm going back to my cabin.

No no no.

Look, there's Addison.

Wow.

She's so beautiful.

So ask her to dance.

She won't even talk to me.

Oh, yes, she will.

She's just playing hard to get.

Women like it when men act like men and just take charge.


- Cody, get over here and vote for me.


- Coming, dear.

London, what are you doing? I am putting up some posters.

For miss tutweiller.

Ah.

The ship is oddly quiet tonight.


- Where is everybody?
- They are all at the study hall.

Studying Hall.


- Why are you talking like that?
- Talking like what? Oh.

Studying on a Friday night? This I have to see.

Whoa whoa whoa whoa! Before you do, Can you help me put up this poster? Yeah, all right.


- Wait wait wait! What are oh!
- This is a nice tie! That's the knock.

Code moseby! Code moseby! Cody! Quick quick, hurry!
- What are you doing?
- Nothing.

Oh! Hello, Marion.

Emma.

Wow.

This is quite the turnout.


- For a Friday night study session.


- Mm
-hmm.

Well, what can we say? Miss tutweiller really inspires us to learn.

Oh.

I love the cut tie look, Marion.


- It makes you look dangerous.


- Ooh.

Oh, uh, what are you doing up there, Woody? Uh, I was.

Just trying to remember where the north pole was.

Look at that, right in the north.

Something's going on here And I'm gonna get to the bottom of it.

Whew.

Still studying.

Okay, now we have to wait for London to give the all
-clear knock.


- All clear knock.


- That would be it.

Hello.


- Get lost.


- Okay.


- Go.

Go!
- No.

No!
- Go!
- Okay.

Stop it.

Look, Addison, I'm not getting lost.

Until you tell me why you're so mad at me.

I am mad at you because you are a two
-timer! Two
-timer? I've never even been a one
-timer.

Then who was the girl you were kissing.

In your room the other day? You mean hamela? She's not a girl.

She's a she's a ham.

I was kissing lunch meat.


- What?
- I know it sounds weird, But I was practicing so if I got lucky enough.

To kiss you I would do it right.

Oh, Woody.

That is so sweet Strange but sweet.

Really? Well, in that case, Would you go to prom with me, Even though we're already here? I'd love to.

Care to dance? Dang it! You know, you'd expect better quality.

For something that cost you
- Hello.


- Hey, Mr.

Moseby.

Whoa! That's it.

I want you all out of here.

This instant.

And, Emma You and I are through.

Oh but, Marion I mean professionally speaking.

I'm clearly in no position.

To turn down a woman who's actually willing to date me.

All right, everyone out! Hey, seniors, we have the final tally,
- And the prom king is
- No.

Prom is over.


- Marion moseby.


- What?! What about queen? Who won queen? You voted me prom king? Of course.

Right, guys? Right.

Yeah.

Because we knew you missed your prom.

So we wanted to give you the experience you never had.

And so richly deserve.

Oh, I'm so touched.

Oh, the crown.

So who's the prom queen? Well, in a surprising Twist, Our prom queen is.

Miss tutweiller.


- Oh.


- Yes! Oh! I finally get a crown.

That's not covered in hair and blood! May I have this dance, my queen? Oh, I'd love to, your majesty.

I've been a walking heartache I've made a mess of me Bailey, that was so sweet of you to give your crown to miss tutweiller.

Actually, I didn't win.

All the ballots just say "not Bailey," "anyone but Bailey," "drop dead, Bailey.

" Yeah, I'm sorry about that one.

I was just annoyed that you wouldn't dance with me.

Look, I'm the one who should be sorry.

I was so obsessed with winning, I ruined our senior prom.

Well, it's not over yet.

May I have this dance? I thought you'd never ask.

Addison, you look like an angel.

And you are the cutest guy in the whole world.

This is the perfect night.

Not yet.

Ow! Did you just bite my face? Sorry, force of habit.

Ah! Zack, I just wanted to thank you.

For a wonderful prom.

Oh, well, thank you for letting us have one.

Mmm.

I realized I overreacted to the whole prank thing.

Canceling the prom.

Was not the appropriate response.

Mosby.