01x17 - Jake Takes the Cake

[bunniefuu]

Yo, g, thanks for getting
me out of the house.

Mom's just straight buggin'
over her big catering gig.

I tried to go
in the kitchen,
and she about frosted me.

Hey, kid, you still
got a little bit.

Eh, right there.

That should not
concern you now, Jake.

What? My mind's
all over this mission.

Wh--what are we
going after again?

Who love to
dismantle machinery
and mechanical devices

but they're not so good
at re-mantling after,

so you see the problem.

[Scoffs]
No problem.

Just tell me
where this gremlin is

and how bad a smack-dragon
you want me to lay on it.

You cannot defeat
every foe with
dragon smacks, Jake.

Did you bring the
cd player like I asked?

Pow! Even better!

I brought
the m.P. Blaster 3000.

Fresh and brand new!

Hyah! I cannot
play this on that!

The hubba hubba hula?

Fu: By luau legend
Elvis kamehameha.

It's a karaoke classic.

Gramps, you know
I can't be seen
with music this whack.

What's this have to do
with gremlins?

It's the only way
to defeat them.

Not that you'll be
defeating anyone today

since you left
your cd player at home!

Don't have
a cabbage, gramps.

And if you need a cabbage,
I got that, too.

Yo, fu, I don't know
where this has been.

'Cause I don't think
you want to go there,
Mr. Same socks.

Grandpa: Give me
the cd player. Hmm.

[Hawaiian music playing]

This will have to do.

Now, when I
give the word,

fu dog will
create a diversion.

Then, and only then--

Look.
There's a train coming.

Ok, was now the word?
'Cause I didn't get
that e-mail.

Fu dog!
Sheesh.

We've got to work out
a hand signal.

The old injured pup routine
ought to do the trick.

Yipe!

[Whimpering]

Look at the poor puppy!

Puppy! Puppy!

Pull his tail!

So where's the gremlin?

Is he on the train?

Whoa! Hey!

He's not on the train.

He's driving it!

Ha ha ha! Need for speed!

♪ He's cool ♪

♪ He's hot
like a frozen sun ♪

♪ He's young and fast ♪

♪ He's the chosen one ♪

♪ People,
we're not braggin' ♪

♪ He's the American dragon ♪

♪ He's gonna stop
his enemies ♪

♪ With his dragon power ♪

♪ Dragon teeth,
dragon tail ♪

♪ Burnin' dragon fire ♪

♪ Real live wire ♪

♪ American dragon ♪

Dragon up!

♪ American dragon ♪

Oh, oh, oh.
Whoa!

♪ He's the American dragon ♪

♪ Skills are
gettin' faster ♪

♪ With grandpa,
the master ♪

♪ His destiny
will walk up sheets ♪

♪ It's showtime, baby,
for the legacy ♪

♪ American dragon ♪

♪ From the "j"
to the "a" ♪

♪ The the "k"
to the "e" ♪

♪ I'm the mackdaddy dragon
of the N.Y.C. ♪

Ya heard!

Jake! Get back
to work!

Aw, man.

Jake, you forgot
the cd player!

Fu: Ow! Hey, kid,

that's tail, not a toy.

But you didn't
hear that from me.

Heh heh. Woof?

[Snarls]

Ooh, hoo, hoo! Sparkle!

Ooh, hoo!

Gremlins are extremely
difficult to capture.

The best way to catch one
is to lull it to sleep

with the soothing sounds
of soft island jazz.

You just have to
sing a few bars--

I don't want
that elevator music
anywhere near me.

Let's just stick
to plan "j."

What is plan "j"?!

[Grunting]

Crabby little gripper.

Ah... ha ha!

Wait for grandpa!

[Grunting]

Aha!

What's up?

[Gremlin grumbling]

Jake, use the music!

What the--

Bye-bye, boys.

Ah! Ooh! Eeh! Unh!

Jake!

[Gremlin grumbling]

[Gremlin grumbling]

Whoa!

[Gremlin grumbling]

Oy!

[Grunting]

Hot! Hot! Hot!
Whoo-hoo! Hot!

Come back here,
you little--

Gingerbread!
Ha ha ha ha ha!

Oh, no! It's bad!

[Grunts]

Now what did
you do? Aah!

[Screeching]

Bye-bye.

Ha ha!

Ha...

Did you see that?

We better go. Hurry.

At least the gremlin
problem is history.

Good. Where is it?
Oh, it's gone.

Huh? You mean
it got away?

I mean it got defeated.

You let it escape?

I let it know
who's boss.

It's still on the loose?

Still running, gramps!

Jake!
[Speaking Chinese]

Ah! What's this?

A gizmo! Ha!

What up, pops?

Ah-ah-ah! Don't go
in the kitchen.

Your mom's
making mushroom caps

man, on television:
This is gonna be the
wedding of the year.

Maybe the century.
Cool.

I'll be upstairs.

What are you doing
in my room?

Staying out of the kitchen.

Wanna hear a haiku?

Jake's room is dirty.

Moldy sandwiches abound.

He lives like a pig.

Out!
Does that mean

you don't want to
hear the sonnet?

How was your mission
with grandpa?

Was it fun?
Was it dangerous?

Did you destroy anything
you weren't supposed to?

[Sighs]

We never talk anymore.

Finally, a little
peace and quiet

and a little bump
in the trunk.

Aah!
[Screeching]

[Screech]

[Boing]

[Telephone rings]

[Ring]

Woman, on telephone:
Hi, is your mom there?

Man, on television:
Soap stars thad and jasma,

Jake, don't get--
no! Don't--
[Sighs]

I tried.

I think one of your caterers
is on the phone.

Hello?

What do you mean,
bjorn isn't there yet?

Inga: Sorry, boss.
He's stuck in traffic.

There was a big accident
on the subway.

The whole uptown line
is shut down.

Oh, no! I wrecked
my mom's reception!

Now what am I gonna do?

There's still
too much to do here!

Yo, mom! I can help
if you want.

Uh, hold on, inga.

[Echoing]
I can help...

Whoa! Heh heh.

Excuse me.
Pardon me. Oh!

Hey, is this
butter creme frosting?

[Slurps]

Yo, does this thing work?

Ooh.

Oh. I was just thinking
about the last time
you helped me out.

Oh, inga, please!

You have to take over
until I can get there.

I'm counting on you.

You can't hold it against me
because I messed up
that one time.

It was 6 times.

Yeah, but it was
all in one night.

And I'm not holding it
against you, Jake.

I'm sure you'll be
a big help.

It's just that, uh...

I wouldn't know
what to have you...

I know! Keep an eye
on the oven

while I fax a menu
over to the hotel.

That's it?

The mushroom caps
will be done in
exactly one minute.

Congratulations
on your new job, Jake.

You know, it's ok if you
want to ask me for help.

I know. I'll just be
right here if you do.

Now what has gotten into
this thing?

[Stammering]

Ooh! Cook place! Ha!

Yah, yah, yah!
Food! Good food!

Food! Yah!

Ha ha!

[Giggling]

Whoo!

That's gotta be about
a minute. What the...

Huh?

What?

Aah!

[Spits]

[Smacks lips]

[Sparking
and hissing]

Hey! Occupied!

Hey!

[Grunts]

[Ding-dong]

I'll get it.

That's odd.

[Ding-dong]

I'll get it!

Honey, are you
gonna get that?

Yay!

What was that?

It's a gremlin.
Help me find it.

I don't know,
but we have to catch it

before mom finds out
I let it in.

You let it in?

I mean it got in on its own.

Why don't you
just grab it?

It's slippery, all right?

Any more questions?

What's it doing
to the toaster?

Don't! No!

What about a Mason jar
with holes in the lid
for ventilation?

What? How is that gonna help?

What is all the hullabaloo?

Sweet mother
of invention!

Well, look
at the bright--
ok, I'll just be quiet.

Mom: Jacob Luke long!

Oops.

[Mumbling]

Here. Try this.

[Muttering]

Ah, ha!

Special on aisle sizzix.
Pickled gremlins.

Get it? 'Cause now,
you're in a pickle. Ha ha!

What just happened in there?

Your mother's mushroom caps
are ruined.

So, you threw them
against the wall
and destroyed the kitchen?

Technically, yes.

I wouldn't want to be
in your shoes right now,
little mister. No, sir.

What on earth
were you thinking?

Oh, never mind.
I don't have time
to argue about this now.

I have to load up the car
and get to the hotel.

Oh, this is turning
into the worst day ever!

[Doorbell rings]

At least you're
out of the picture.

[Telephone ringing]

Man, French accent:
Hotel poubelle.

On whether the wedding
of monsieur thad
and mademoiselle jasma

is taking place in our grand
terrace ballroom tonight.

Oops. I said too much.

I'd bring this to g's shop
myself, but moms needs my help.

Don't worry.
I'll get this little guy
to the big guy.

You just make sure nothing
goes wrong with thad
and jasma's big wedding.

After all those 2
have been through together,

don't they deserve
a moment of happiness?

Aw! Don't they?

Uh, yeah.

I gotta go.

[Crying]

Oh, I swore I wasn't gonna
cry in front of the gremlin!

[Sobbing]

Aw, pretty puppy.

This is
the terrace ballroom
where, as you can see,

your capable staff
is already hard at work.

Thank you.
I'll take it from here.

Hello, everybody.
Sorry I'm late.

It's ok, boss.
We're almost done setting up.

Oh, sven, inga,
you did it!

Everything looks
fabulous.

[Foreign accent]
We knew you were counting
on us,

so we didn't want
to let you down.

Inga: Plus,
you could fire us.

Let's go ahead and light
the tiki torches, then.

And I think the cake
is a little too close
to the karaoke stage.

You want me
to help
with the cake?

I mean, uh, why don't you
go down to the copy center

and see if they got
the menus I faxed over?

[Sighs]
Jake--

Everyone, come quick!

The wedding is starting!
The wedding is starting!

Yay!

I love TV weddings.

TV announcer:
On TV, they play
star-crossed heartthrobs

jasma Sincere
and thad wilford chase.

But tonight, hearts
will throb for real

as they take that unscripted
walk down the aisle.

[Giggles]
We love you!

They can't see you.

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Both: Making copies.

Jinx!

Another jinx!

[Copier whines]

Oh! More of me.

Probably thinks I'll wreck
the place

if she lets me do anything.

What the?

Where did all y'all come from?

All right, that's it.

You're going down.

Dragon up!

Hi!
Hey.

What the?

TV announcer:
The bride is resplendent

just like the one she wore
in the episode where thad
found out jasma's baby

is really an alien-hybrid
implanted by a covert
agency.

Happy new year!

[Jabbering]

Dearly beloved,

we are gathered
here today

to get your autograph.
Can you sign my collar?

I am such a big fan!

Look!
Let's go there.

You don't gets no cake, boy.

Huh?

Test, test, test.

Lookin' at you.

Raise 'em up.

Boo. Boo.

What the?

[Yawns]

[Hawaiian music playing]

♪ Oh, the hubba hubba hula
is a hula that you do ♪

♪ When you meet a girl-a
who you're gonna love-a,
love a lot ♪

Oh, my eyes!

Hey, fu. I didn't
hear you come in.

[Speaking indistinctly]

You think you know a guy
and then this.

Never mind that.
Where is the gremlin?

We must keep it away
from any technology.

Ooh. Probably
shouldn't have brought it
to an electronics shop then.

He he. Eww.

[Gremlins jabbering]

[Indistinct]

Ha ha! One down and--


of you guys, man!

Hmm?

We're missing
the "I dos"!

Hmm.

Hmm. What's
it do?
I don't know.

Emergency something.
Do something.

Touch.

[Laughing]

Oh, and one more.

Thanks so much.

Now, where was I?

Do I take
this woman?

Do you, thad...

[People screaming]

Ooh, this can't be good.

We rented the ballroom
on the roof

so let's just
head upstairs
in an orderly fashion.

The guests are
on their way.

All right, everybody,
battle stations.

[All gasp]

Oh, my.

I can totally explain.

Ahh...

[Making rap noises]

What happened out here?

Yo, mom, it wasn't me.

It was the gremlins!

They're pesky.
Totally pesky!

You brought gremlins
to my reception?!

No!

Well, maybe,

but not on on purpose.

Oh, Jake, this
really takes the cake.

Aah! Oh!

Ok, I know this looks bad,
but I can fix it.

No! You're not
fixing anything.

You're not helping.
You're not touching.

You're not
even breathing.

Do I make myself clear?

Huh?

Oh--oh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, whatever you say.

No breathing.

Sven, ute,
stop that thing.

Inga, you've got


to make this place
fabulous again.

I'm going downstairs
to try and stop the
guests from coming up.

All:
You got it, boss!

And you...

[Inhales]

[Exhales]

Ear of the dragon!

[Gremlins babbling]

I gotta go.

When are we
gonna get there?

[All laughing]

All right,
there's no way out.

And I'm not playing
no more!

I want all y'all
to surrender now!

And--and get in
this bag.

All: Whoo-hoo!

Well, that was easy.

Ha! That's right.

You're messing with
the am-drag now!

'Cause when
I say jump--

Gremlins: Jump!
What the--

Whoo-hoo!

Going down!

When are we
gonna get there?

Oh, hi!

I'm the reception
planner.

You must be
the happy couple.

We are not happy yet.

As soon as we
get them up to
that nice dry rooftop.

Uh, that's the thing.
The rooftop?

It's not quite ready.

I'm not staying
in this stairwell
one more minute!

Come on!

But--oh!

This is totally
out of control...

[Alarms wailing]

And not in a good way.

More than one cd player
in this place,

but no!

Eh! Just fix it already!

Whaa! Yah!

[Telephone rings]

Where's grandpa?
This is an emergency.

Uh, gramps,
Jake-tastrophe, line one.

Jake! What's wrong?

Yes! You must
serenade them with
the hubba hubba hula.

It's the only way.

That's impossible.

There's too many
of them now,

and they're all
over Times Square.

I'd have to
have a...

Big screen TV and
a karaoke machine.

But even if
I had all that,

that song is just
too embarrassing.

Kid, if you don't
find a way to do this,

you're not the only one
who's gonna be embarrassed.

This is the worst wedding
I've ever been in!

And that includes
the time

I was kidnapped by Amazons
during sweeps.

Oh, yeah? Heh heh.
Well, I'd rather
be married

on a sinking
ocean liner,
like I was last season,

than listen to anymore
of your whining!

I'll see to it
that you never cater
in this town again!

Ever!

But--
Not ever!

Fu, I've got to go.

My mom needs me.

Dragon up!

My wedding is in
complete shambles.

Oh, every bride
feels that way.

But someday you'll
look back on this and--

Oh, no.

Whazzup, New York City!

Jake long is in the house!

Jake, what do you
think you're doing?

Making a complete
fool of myself

on national TV.

Well, ok.

Good luck with that.

This is a very special
love song

going out
to jasma and thad

and to all you
music lovers out there.

You know who you are.

Come on, come on, come on.

It's got to be here.

Yeah!

[Hawaiian music playing]

Jake, use
dragon karaoke!

♪ Oh, the hubba hubba hula ♪

♪ When you meet a girl-a
who you're gonna ♪

♪ Love-a love a lot ♪

[Yawns]

Oh, no.

Oh, thad...

Oh, jasma...

What?

♪ Alooh ♪

♪ With a smile,
it's an island hello ♪

Jake: Aloha eh ♪

♪ Hubba hubba
your troubles away ♪

It's the song
that was playing

in that hospital
elevator in Fiji

on the night
we first met.

You were there
to donate a kidney

to your polynesian
half-sister's evil clone,

and I was the ex-showgirl
who performed the operation

when the real doctor
fell into a sudden coma.

[Sighs]

Do you, jasma,

take you, thad--

I'm going to
take that as a yes.

That should put every
gremlin in the city

call Jake.
Tell him he can
stop singing now.

Jake: ♪ hubba hubba
your troubles away ♪

[Rap music plays]
Check it out!

♪ NYC what hows you do ya ♪

♪ My name's Jake,
and I'm in the hou-ya ♪

♪ Volcano's hot,
but jakey-Jake is cooler ♪

♪ 'Cause that's the way ♪

♪ You hubba
chicka-chicka hula baby ♪

Ah, Jake,
you did it!

Yeah, after
I messed it all up
in the first place.

I wasn't going to
mention that.

And if it's
any consolation,

I don't think you
looked like a fool
at all.

Yeah, but you're
not the one

who has to go
to school on Monday.

[Giggles]

[All laughing]

Dragon out!

Hee hee hee!