02x08 - Full Metal Duck

[bunniefuu]

- Life is like a hurricane

- Here in Duckburg

- Racecars, lasers, airplanes

- it's a duck-blur

- Might solve a mystery

- Or rewrite history

- DuckTales
Ooh-woo-ooh

- Every day they're out there making

- DuckTales
Ooh-woo-ooh

- Tales of derring-do,
Bad and good luck tales

- D-d-d-danger

- Watch behind you

- There's a stranger out to find you

- What to do?
Just grab onto some

- DuckTales
Ooh-woo-ooh

- Every day they're out there making

- DuckTales
Ooh-woo-ooh

- Tales of derring-do,
Bad and good luck tales

- Ooh-woo-ooh
Not pony tails or cotton tails, no

- DuckTales
Ooh-woo-ooh -

[man] Last time on DuckTales...

Now that's what I call a cash flow!

Scrooge gets his money back
from the Beagle Boys

with the help of his new accountant,

Fenton Crackshell.

Here's another nickel, Dewey.

To keep the Beagle Boys
from stealing it again,

Scrooge hires Gyro Gearloose
to build a robot.

Oh, this I like!

Intruder!

But the robot won't let anyone
near Scrooge's money.

Scrooge's only hope is Fenton
Crackshell's new secret identity.

- What's your name?
- Just call me GizmoDuck!

I see you.

Hurt, maim, destroy.

[Gulps] Well, I see you too, GICU2.

But I've got a dime to deposit. And
nothing's gonna stop me. Step aside.

All right, you've forced me to use
weapons the Pentagon is afraid of.

Uh-oh, the instruction book! I lost it!

Ever consider putting this dime
in a loafer instead?

Remember, Gizmoduck
you're a state of the art duck.

Right! Of course I am.

I love my job,
I love my job, I love my job.

Out of my way, fender face.

Or I'll give you my quacker blaster.

Think you can hurt me
with 2,364 projectiles, eh?

Well, take this!

[Truck horn honking]

[Louder horn blasting]

Maybe this damsel in distress button
will do the trick.

You wouldn't dare hit a lady, would you?

All right, how about
a lady wearing glasses?

How about a...

I don't suppose
I have some vacation time coming.

Not on my payroll.

All right, you leave me no choice.

I'll have to push all my buttons.

[Shouting]

[Bells jingling]

Congratulations, GizmoDuck.

At last, my bin runneth over.

And I've got the best security guard
in the world to watch over it.

[Groans] You mean it?
That job is mine?

Aye! You can start
first thing in the morning.

[Iubilant music plays]

Fine.

Not so fast! In case of emergency,
how can I get a hold of you?

Call me. 555-GZMO.

This phony elbow
is more phone than elbow.

Yippee! Yahoo!

I'm a metal somebody!

Do I know that voice?

Hi, Mom. Look what I'm wearing.

Fenton, did you join a heavy metal band?

No. I'm Scrooge McDuck's
security guard. Aren't you happy for me?

I'll be happy when these
Quacker Jacks are off the floor.

No problemo.

Say, if I ever cleaned
that would come in handy.

Why, that's not all.

I've got a mop-o-matic,
a digital zucchini slicer,

a turbo charged beet saucer,
and a country twanging toast timer!

- It's 9:00
Your toast is b*rned -

[yodels]

Nine! I gotta go to bed.
Big day ahead tomorrow.

Goodnight, Mama.

- [Clattering]
- What's all the racket?

[Fenton] I can't get this stupid...

...thing off!

Have you tried a crowbar?

Careful, Mama!
You'll tweak my transistors.

Try something else.

I know!

My makeup remover!

A jackhammer?

- [Mother] S-S-Sure. W-W-Why not?
- [Fenton] Did my suit come loose?

No, but my false teeth did.

What am I gonna do?

Sleep in the carport, that's what.

[Fenton] But Mama!

[Beeping]

Halt! Who goes there?

Don't sh**t! It's just us,
Uncle Scrooge's nephews.

Sorry, kids. I guess I got up on the
wrong side of the Buick this morning.

What can I do for you?

Let us become presidents
of the official GizmoDuck fan club.

Really?

Uncle Scrooge told us
how you clobbered the GICU2.

He called you a metal wonder.

Oh, shucks.
I wouldn't say wonder.

Marvel, maybe.
Or, uh, Iron Clad Crusader?

Perhaps wrought iron, w*apon bearing,
wheeled warrior of worthiness.

Well, whoever you are,
will you autograph our posters?

Sure. I'm a fan of anyone
who's a fan of mine.

Say, my shift is almost over.

How about I give you fellas
a ride home?

All right!

- Whee!
- Gizmo thunder!

I'll never ride my bike again.

- Help!
- Uh-oh.

Super buns did it again.

[Cracking]

Thanks, Mr. Metal Man.

No problem, little trooper.

But remember this safety tip:

When you ride a teeter-totter,
wear your seatbelt.

Yes, sir!

What seat belt?

Everybody off.
And remember, Gizmo Buddies,

GizmoDuck says brush your beaks
between meals, don't sass your elders

and never wear your jammies
in a bubble bath.

You bet, GizmoDuck, you're the greatest!

[Big Time] GizmoDuck is the worst!

We'll never steal Scrooge's money bin
for Ma with that metal goon bot around.

I second that motion.

Yeah and I, four, uh, fourth...

ninth... [stammers] Yeah, me too.

So we'll have to make Scroogie
give it to us instead.

Yeah! How we gonna do that?

[Groans] With a brilliant plan.

- [Music on TV]
- Mama! You won't believe it!

I got my own fan club.

And I've got my lucky
lotto numbers coming up, so be quiet.

This is important.
Shut off that TV and listen.

All right, but if my number comes up,

I'll never get those chinchilla slippers
I've always wanted.

Mama! The remote control!
Look what you did!

Too bad your father didn't see this.

He thought I was worthless.

[Telephone ringing]

Hello? Hello?

I think your elbow is ringing.

Hello? I mean, hello?

GizmoDuck,
meet me at the Statue of Duckburg.

The Beagle Boys are at it again.

Beagle Boys? Not them again.

I mean, right away, Mr. McDuck.

Oh, no! How does this thing go together?

The hipbone's connected to the axle rod,

The axle rod's connected
to the camshaft...

[buoy bell ringing]

The Beagle Boys barricaded themselves
inside, Mr. McDuck, with hostages.

Are you sure my nephews are up there?

Oh, yes, they were going for a visit.

What would the Beagle Boys
want with the statue, anyway?

Listen up, McDuck.

Give us your money bin
or it's going to get very ugly up here.

You wouldn't dare
t*rture innocent people.

Oh, yeah?

We'll make them listen to bagpipe music.

- [Playing bagpipes]
- [Shouting]

Help us, Uncle Scrooge! Help us!

It's inhuman. It's ghastly. It's...

It's My Filly of the Firth of Forth.
I'd know that bonnie tune anywhere.

Oh, this is worse than the t*rror1st

who held the city attorney hostage
with an accordion.

Somebody's got to help
these poor people!

I've got to get this suit back on!

Hey, wait a minute.

If this made the suit fall off, maybe
it can make it go back on. Try it.

What station?

Any station. Channel five.

- [Music plays]
- Look! Gilligander's island.

Let's watch.

There's no time! Try channel seven.

- [Man] Second and third...
- Eight!

- I bet it's a warrant for my arrest.
- I'm desperate. Try PBS.

What about all those doodads
and doohickeys on the suit?

Oh! Good idea!

Help me try them.

Oh, no!

And that was good imitation paneling!

Now look what you've done!

And it's almost time
for The Ducks of Hazzard.

Blabbering blatherskite!

Fenton! What's happening?

Mama! You did it!

Get me out of here!

I'm not sleeping in the carport.

- [Bagpipe music plays]
- [Crowd groaning]

No! Let me go!

I'd rather jump. I can't take anymore!

Where is GizmoDuck?

It must be something you said.

A secret word.

Here goes. Ducks Of Hazzard?

Now look what you've done?

Oh, blabbering blatherskite!
What can it be?

Who would've thought
a stupid word like blabbering...

Don't say it!

I've gotta go put those Beagle Boys
behind bars where they belong!

- [Bagpipe music continues]
- GizmoDuck's here!

Never fear, Mr. McDuck.

I'll stop those bagpipe
blowing Beagle bamboozlers!

Save the adjectives and get to it.

Right! But first I need
two giant scoops of ice cream,

with chocolate topping flown in.

Drop the dip!

[Playing bagpipes]

Ice cream! Oh!

Big creamy ice cream! [giggles]

No, Burger!
Don't fall for those dips, you dip!

It's GizmoDuck! We're saved!

[Cheering]

[Screaming]

For meritorious service,

I decorate you with the Duckburg
stainless steel, super sleuth award.

[Cheering and applause]

[Clamoring]

Sorry, ladies,
but Gandra Dee is the one for me.

[Clamoring]

GizmoDuck fan club!

Get your memberships here!

[Woman] The robbery
was stopped in progress

by local Duckburg hero, GizmoDuck.

In other news, GizmoDuck was...

GizmoDuck this, GizmoDuck that!

I'll be stuck in the kitchen for weeks

baking weapons
to spring my boys from the slammer.

What's this?

"How To Be A GizmoDuck
In Six Easy Lessons"

Now this is a recipe book I can use.

[Cackling]

Got a pie here for Megabyte Beagle.

From your mom.

What'd she send this time?

A peach crowbar cobbler?

A Boston cremation pie?

Nope. Metal meringue pie,
wire cutters and a tuning fork.

The perfect escape device.
First I tie in the prison PA system,

then I connect the tuning fork.

Using your dental
apparatus as a resonator,

I will strike the fork, creating the
pitch necessary to activate the doors.

Which can be tripped
by the right frequency.

Say it in Beagle talk.

We're breakin' out of here.
Now say "ah".

[Strikes pitch note]

[Note blaring]

[Alarm ringing]

A piece of cake.

Escape! Escape!

So what do you think? Can you use
that book to stop the metal meddler?

It's probable, the right frequency

should be able to interface
with the micro processor,

and redirect his
primary electronic commands.

Say it in Beagle talk!

We've got it made in the shade.

Putting you through college
was worth every dollar I stole.

I have to go to work now, Mama!

But Let's Make A Squeal is coming on.

- [Pig squealing]
- Sorry. I have another big day.

But Fenton,
we never spend any time together.

Gee, Mama, you never wanted
to spend time with me before.

You never had a TV in your chest before.

Is that all you think I am?
A home entertainment system?

Blabbering blatherskite!

See, Mama? I'm more than just
Fenton Crackshell. I'm somebody.

I'm GizmoDuck!
An invincible galvanized doer of good!

- Hey! My batteries are dead.
- Uh-oh.

Guess I shouldn't have watched
The Late Late Show last night.

Oh, Mother!

Don't get your crankshaft out of kilter.

This won't hurt a bit.

What won't hurt?
What are you gonna do?

[Electricity crackling]

Thanks for the jumpstart, Mama!

[Woman] Good morning, Duckburg.

I'm Webra Walters.

And today we come to you
from Scrooge McDuck's money bin.

Home of Duckburg's newest and
best-known crime fighter, GizmoDuck.

I'm sure our viewers would enjoy a
demonstration of GizmoDuck's abilities.

Let's start with the laser cannon.

Right. It'll cut through
any solid object. Watch.

Ooh! Very impressive.

If you like that,
you'll love his boomerang bazooka.

Let's give the show
a few technical difficulties

with my GizmoDuck remote control.

You can water the lawn later, GizmoDuck.
Let's see the bazooka like we promised.

I'm trying, sir!

This is the best video game
I ever played!

Watch me give that hot sh*t a hot seat.

Just a wee joke.
After all, he is the toast of Duckburg.

Where do you think you're going?

Wish I knew, sir! Bye bye!

Uh, this is Webra Walters saying,
good morning, and I quit!

Watch, mommy dearest.
Time for a little shopping spree.

[Clamoring]

Sorry!

Hey! I saw those first!

Oh, excuse me!

This is better than
the Home Shopping Network.

Let me play with him for a while.

Just thought of some
other things I need.

Pardon me.

Please don't think ill of me.
This isn't my fault!

Excuse me! Just a little case
of Jekyll and Hyde. That's all.

Oh! I've always wanted
a pink Thunderduck!

Let's borrow it. Permanently.

Oh, Sandra, would you believe
you've stolen my heart?

So is that any reason to steal my car?

Please! Forgive me.

I know actions speak louder than words,

but it's not me who's doing this.

I mean, it is, but it isn't.

[Playing soft music]

Why am I wasting time
with this small change?

Let's go after the megabucks, Megabyte!

[Crowd] Save Duckburg!
Stop GizmoDuck!

Save Duckburg! Stop GizmoDuck!

GizmoDuck's a monster.

Who knows what he might do next?

[Engine revving]

GizmoDuck! What are you doing here?

I'm not sure, sir.
But I bet we'll find out.

What's the meaning of this?

How dare you!

My sentiments exactly.

You robotic ruffian.

Oh, please forgive me, Mr. McDuck.

I just can't believe
GizmoDuck is a criminal.

[Dewey] Yeah. It's like someone else
is pushing his buttons or something.

Uncle Scrooge! We're home.

[Muffled yelling]

[Gasping]

That good for nothing GizmoDuck!

Look what he did!

But why would he tie you up,
Uncle Scrooge?

He wants something.

What?

Mother was right. I should
have stuck with bean counting.

Here, money bin! Come to mama!

[Man] Next on DuckTales...

Make me look like
a million bucks. I'm rich!

I want me bin back! [crying]

You're under arrest, Scrooge.

[Screaming]