02x10 - Brain of the Future

[bunniefuu]

Gee, brain,

What do you
want to do tonight?

The same thing
we do every night,
pinky,

Try to take over
the world.

♪ They're pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ Yes, pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ One is a genius

♪ The other's insane ♪

♪ They're
laboratory mice ♪

♪ Their genes
have been spliced ♪

♪ They're dinky ♪

♪ They're pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ Brain, brain, brain

♪ Brain, brain, brain,
brain, brain ♪

♪ Before each night
is done ♪

♪ Their plan
will be unfurled ♪

♪ By the dawning
of the sun ♪

♪ They'll take over
the world ♪

♪ They're pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ Yes, pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ Their twilight campaign

♪ Is easy to explain

♪ To prove
their mousy worth ♪

♪ They'll overthrow
the earth ♪

♪ They're dinky ♪

♪ They're pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ Brain, brain, brain

♪ Brain, brain,
brain, brain ♪

Narf!

Easy now, pinky.

Easy.

Why the eyedropper,
brain?

Are your eyes feeling
dry and irritated?

If they were, one drop
of this solution

Would solve that problem
at the molecular level

By chemically
deconstructing
my entire head.

Ooh hoo, I'll bet
that tickles.

Considering this acid
was designed to melt
m*llitary tanks

Into puddles
of viscous fluid,

I seriously
doubt it.

Oh, oh, I know.
We'll get a really
huge eyedropper

And soak up
all the water
in the world,

And they'll never
be able to make

Another
esther williams
musical.

Oh, no, brain,
don't do it.

Think of poor
fernando lamas
all alone and dry.

Fear not, pinky,

I shan't interfere
with your aquatic
entertainments.

I have something a little
less cinematic in mind.

Tonight, pinky,
we will sneak
into the printing plant

Of cosmos-politan
magazine

And replace
their "who is your
perfect mate?" Quiz

With this
"who is your perfect
world leader?" Quiz

From split atoms
to split ends,

Readers will be convinced
that my global rule

Is the answer
to their every problem.

Poit. Ooh,
I love quizzes.

I have a fondness
for this one myself

After countless
hours of toil

Crafting the carefully
worded questions.

Ah, I want to be
the first to take
your quiz, brain.

Narf! Let me
get my pencil.

Pinky, the acid!

Oops.

Did I do that?

Pinky, do you have
any idea how hard it is

To prepare a camera-ready
magazine layout

Using only 3 crayons
and a glue stick?

Harder than
really old jell-o?

Infinitely harder,

As hard as it will be
to accept the fact

That tonight
we shall not be able
to take over the world.

Oh. Wait a minute.
Poit.

What if someone
came into the lab
right now

And said, "here is
a foolproof plan

For taking over
the world"?

You know, little
elves or something.
What then?

Silence, pinky,

Lest you disturb
my anti-v*olence
meditation.

Naaarrrf.

This is highly
above average.

Narf.

Look, brain,

What a handsome
little fellow.

Hoo hoo ha ha hoo.

We made it.
Hoo whoo aah!

Greetings from a
post-apocalyptic
future.

We have traveled
back through time

To bring you
the answer

To all of
your problems.

We are your
future selves.

Excuse me, did you
say selves or elves?

Stop him before
he speaks again.

My apologies.
Please continue.

Can I show us
the box now, brain?

Can I please?
Zort.

I see that even
in the future,

Some things
never change.

You have no idea.

All right, pinky,
you may show
with your hands,

Not your mouth.
Understand?

Mm-hmm.

Behold.

The world
domination kit.

[Reading]

Huh. Well,
how about that?

Impossible.

Perhaps
in today's world,

But what if
you could travel

To the year


Choir: ♪ ahhhhhh

If I could--

[Gulps]

I know what
you are pondering,

And you are correct.

You mean,
this pinky and I

Are going to take
your time machine
into the future?

Yes!

To retrieve
a world domination kit

From the year


Yes!

Um, poit.

Shouldn't you
tell them

About
the queen of
the cockroaches?

Not now, pinky.

My past self is
on the proverbial roll.

And having
secured the kit,

We shall return to this
very moment in time.

Only then,
I shall be you?

The brain
of the future.

Talking to me...

The brain of the past.
The brain of the past.

Yes, my ingenious
brother in time.

Yay!

Oh, but no, wait.
Narf!

If we've already got
the kit thingy here,

Then why do we have to go
into the future to get it?

Uh, so that
we can be them

When we
come back to now.

Ok, if you're
really me,

Then what's
my favorite color?

Ooh, a quiz.

Oh, I love quizzes.

Ahh. Me, too.

Narf.
Narf.

Hoo hoo ha ha ha!
Hoo hoo ha ha ha!

Um, all right,
all right,

Your favorite color
is, um, poit,

Sunshiny yellow.

[Gasps]

Egad.

You are me. Zort.

The capsule has
been set to take you

To the correct
time and place.

All you need to do
is hop out,

Procure the kit,

And return
to the present.

I understand.

Come, pinky,

We must embark
on our journey
through time.

Uh, pinky?

[Scratching]

Both: ooh, ooh, ooh,
right there.

Oh, yeah.
That's great.

Pinky, what
are you doing?

Oh, I'm scratching
that itch on my back

That I can
never reach.

Enough of your
hedonistic indulgences.

The future awaits.

Ahh, oh, yeah.

Wa-hoo! Zort.

Oh, the future.

Do they still
have spam

In the year


The less you know
about the future,
the better.

Knowing too much
could conceivably

Warp the space-time
continuum

And erase you
from existence.

Um, and that
would be bad,
right?

Yes, that would be bad.
Yes, that would be bad.

Bye-bye. Poit.

Don't forget to write.

So, um,
when you come back
from the future

And you're us,

We can get
postcards from you,

Telling you how we,
um, us, how you, um--

Ahh, look at the
pretty buttons. Zort.

They're all
flashy-washy.

Hoo hoo ha.

Pinky, under
no circumstances

Are you to touch
any controls,

No matter how
flashy-washy,

Sparkly-warkly,

Or, um...

Flickery-wickery?

Or flickery-wickery.

In fact, touch
any of these buttons,

And I'll be
forced to give you
a concussiony-wussiony.

Here. Keep
yourself amused.

Poit.

Ohh. A toy
of the future.

Hmm hmm ha ho.

[Gasps]

Computer: switching
to manual override.

Plotting
new destination.

Piercing
the space-time continuum.

Fascinating.

Um, brain.

Not now, pinky.

I'm trying to figure out
how to start this thing.

[Engine whirring]

Computer: destination set
for the year 3502 a.d.

Pinky, no.
What did you do?

Um, I played
with my ball.

Computer: prepare
for time warp.

[Slowed down]
nooo!

[Slowed down]
naaarf!

Reporter:
january 12, 3502 a.d.

In an effort
to avert impending
nuclear armageddon,

Canada's volatile
prime minister
warren mapleleaf

Meets with bill clinton,

America's first


Now listen here,
neighbor,

Why don't you just sign
this here peace treaty,

And we'll forget
all about that nasty
nuclear w*r stuff.

This better not be
an american trick, eh.

Uhh.

[Pinky and the brain
screaming]

That mountain's getting
really big, brain.

Quiet, pinky.
I'm pondering
as fast as I can.

Hoo, that was fun.
Do it again, brain.

What a good idea, pinky,

And just in case
we survive,

We can follow it up

With a jump
over niagara falls
in an inner tube.

Um, we've got
a m*ssile on radar.

Sir, the americans
are attacking.

I repeat, the americans
are attacking, eh.

What? So, you dare
launch an as*ault

On the great
white north?

Hey, now, wait
a minute there, fella.

Return fire.

Destroy
the americans, eh.

You think you can mess

With the
commander in chief
like that?

I'll show you
who's boss.

Uh, excuse me,
hillary...

We've got
a situation here.

I'm on it, bill.

Computer: plotting
new destination.

There now.

These controls aren't
so enigmatic after all.

Destination set
for the year 2 billion a.d.

Prepare for time warp.

Fortunately, aside
from startling a moose
at the canadian border,

Our presence
in the 36th century

Has gone
virtually unnoticed.

The brain: think what
miraculous transformations

Evolution has
in store for us

In the world
of the future.

Pinky: are we going
really, really, really

Really, really, really
far into the future,
brain?



Just imagine.

Um, how much more
than 7 is that?

Arguably a lot,
my mathematically
challenged friend.

Considering modern
civilization dates back
a mere 10,000 years,

One can scarcely
imagine the changes
that could occur

In 200,000 times
that long.

Let me put this
in terms

That even you
can understand, pinky.

Remember how much
that ham sandwich
changed

After only 2 weeks
behind the refrigerator?

Oh, you mean the one

That tasted
like sauerkraut?

I'll take your word
for it. Yes.

After 2 billion years
behind the refrigerator,

That same sandwich
could evolve

Into a lifeform
capable of building
churro stands

On the planets
of distant galaxies.

Narf! Oh, all
this talk of food

Is making me
hungry, brain,

Eh, but what's that
got to do with
time travel?

Pinky, your
complete inability
to grasp the sublime

Is deeply sublime
in and of itself.

Oh, brain, I love it

When you say things
about me that I don't
understand. Poit.

[Crowd chattering]

[Like ed sullivan]
ladies, lads, and larvae,

I present to you
our glorious leader,

Her royal majesty,

The queen
of the cockroaches.

[Crowd cheers]

[Like zsa zsa gabor]
oh, thank you, dahlings.

Thank you.
You are so wonderful.

To honor you on this,

The eve of your
universal conquest,

We, your loyal
subjects, would
like to present you

With this gift.

[Gasps]

Oh, I absolutely
love it.

My abdomen
is not so fat!

Why do you make me
with my abdomen so fat?!

I will crush you all!

You love your queen,
don't you, dahlings?

[Bang]
[gasps]

Behold our
destination, pinky,

The future.

Yay! Now you
can bring us in
for a perfect landing.

I can?

Aah! A giant bug.

What is the meaning
of this?

Yaah!

Crowd: whoa! Yaah!

[Screaming]

I have a bulletin
from the future, pinky.

They have not
abolished pain.

Zort. Hulp.

Yah. Oof.

Seize them!

They destroyed
my beautiful statue.

But first, tell me
honestly, dahlings,

Do you think
my abdomen is fat?

Well, narf, you're
no kathie lee gifford.

Take them
to the roach motel!

You know, we may be
prisoners, brain,

But at least
they gave us these
lovely blue suits.

The blue suits
are reserved

For those criminals
condemned to the
screaming death.

[Gulps]
[gulps]

Ah, yes, but if
you observe closely,

You'll notice
that we are actually

Wearing
the indigo suits,

Which, if I'm
not mistaken,

Are reserved
for those criminals

Who are to be
released on their
own recognizance.

Poit.
I don't know, brain.

They look
pretty blue to me.

Ohh.
Oof.

Ohh, ooh,
uh, ah, ooh.

Narf.

Now, silence, pinky,
while I plan our escape.

I'm afraid that
such an attempt would
prove to be in vain.

We have been here
for over a month now.

Escape is impossible.

Egad, it's us.

Only, we look
different somehow.

Yes. Before traveling
to the future,

We accidentally
took a detour
to the year 37 a.d.,

And in order to escape,

We had to sneak across
caligula's banquet table
disguised as fruit.

But we never
went to 37 a.d.

Oh, yes, we did,

Right after
we almost got eaten
by that big lizard.

Whoo hoo. Ooh,
that was scary.

Surely you remember
the tyrannosaurus

In the year




Now remind me,
was that before
or after

We startled
the moose
in 3502 a.d.?

Moose?

Don't you mean
the duck in 1400 b.c.?

[All gasp]

You two,
her royal highness

Wishes to see you
before your execution.

Behold.

Her majesty, queen
of the cockroaches.

Welcome, dahlings.

Just who exactly
are you, you cute
little teddy bears?

I am the brain,
and this is my
associate pinky.

We are--

You are spies

Come to assassinate me
on the eve of my
universal conquest!

Actually,
we are lab mice
from the 20th century,

Traveling
through time as part of
an unprecedented scheme

To take over the world.

Oh, you are so clever.

Pitiful mammal!

You aspire
to take over one world.

Well, I will soon
be ruler of all worlds,

Thanks to my...

World domination kit!

Oh, we cockroaches
are so superior.

Although you
are much cuter,

And you have
such beautiful eyes.

Why the men always get
the beautiful eyes?

Um, actually I believe
mice are superior

Because we have
only 2 arms.

Ha! I laugh at your
ridiculous boast.

Oh? Then I offer
this challenge.

If I can hold
more things
in my 2 arms

Than both
of your guards
can hold together

With their
combined 8,

You must
set us free.

I accept
your foolish challenge,

But if you lose,
dahlings,

It's the screaming death
for you.

Ha! I would
like to see your


Holding all of this.

Here, why don't
you let me get

That world domination
kit for you?

Thanks. Yeah,
just put it on top.

Now, pinky, run.

Aah.
Aah.

Stop them!

Guards!

[Alarm sounding]

Look, brain,
we went thataway.

Never mind us.

I'm more concerned
about us.

I've got to figure out

How to duplicate
the physics of that
time-travel capsule

So that we can build
some primitive version

And get back
to the 20th century.

Maybe you
should look at one
of these, brain.

Not now, pinky.
I--ahh.

The brain: yes!

Thanks.

Get your own
time capsule.

[Gasps]

This one looks
like ours, brain.

I don't
think so, pinky.

I want
to ride shotgun!

Let's try
this one.

I'm starting to feel
just like tia and tamara.

Ha ha ha ha!

My head hurts, pinky.

[All grunting]

Naaarrrf.

This is highly
above average.

We made it.
Hoo whoo aah!

Greetings from a
post-apocalyptic
future.

Did that other fellow
who looks like me

Just press the
pretty buttons again?

Yes, pinky, and so
the cycle of disaster
begins anew.

Narf! How nostalgic.

Now, pinky,
where did you put

The world
domination kit?

Let me see. Oh, yes.

When I went to talk
to the other me,

I wanted to put
the kit somewhere safe,

So I put it back
in the time capsule.

You what?

Rrrrr.

[Gasps]

Then we'd better
start preparing
for tomorrow night.

Many pinkys:
why? Zort! What are we
going to do tomorrow?

The same thing we do
every night, pinky.

Many brains: try to
take over the world.

♪ They're dinky ♪

♪ They're pinkys
and the brain ♪

♪ Brain, brain, brain,
brain, brain ♪

♪ Brain, brain,
♪ brain, brain, brain

♪ Brain, brain