03x18 - Brainy Jack

[bunniefuu]

Gee, brain,

What do you
want to do tonight?

The same thing
we do every night,
pinky--

Try to take over
the world.

♪ they're pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ yes, pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ one is a genius ♪

♪ the other's insane ♪

♪ they're
laboratory mice ♪

♪ their genes
have been spliced ♪

♪ they're dinky ♪

♪ they're pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ brain, brain, brain ♪

♪ brain, brain, brain,
brain, brain ♪

♪ before each night
is done ♪

♪ their plan
will be unfurled ♪

♪ by the dawning
of the sun ♪

♪ they'll take over
the world ♪

♪ they're pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ yes, pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ their twilight campaign ♪

♪ is easy to explain ♪

♪ to prove
their mousey worth ♪

♪ they'll overthrow
the earth ♪

♪ they're dinky ♪

♪ they're pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ brain, brain, brain ♪

♪ brain, brain,
brain, brain ♪

Narf!

Woman: oh, thank you.
Thank you for curing me,
dr. Freud.

Thanks to
your miracle technique,

I am no longer delusional.

It's called hypnosis,
fraulein.

I took you back
to re-Experience
your childhood.

Whatever you did,
it worked.

I used to think
that little men were
following me around,

But now i know
that little men

Were just
in meine imagination.

[Doorbell rings]

Ach. Excuse me,
fraulein.

You stand lookout
while i write my name

In dr. Freud's
appointment book.

Right, brain.

Hello.

Lovely day,
isn't it? Narf!

Uh, doctor...

hurry, pinky.
Let's go.

Ta-Ta. Nice
chatting with you.

Funny. There
was nobody there.

Now, fraulein,
where were we?

Aaah!

The little men!
The little men!

They're back!

Bl-Bl-Bl-Bl-Bl-Bl...

aaah!

Hmm.

You know, you might
want to think about
another appointment.

Aah!

What are we going
to do now, brain?

Ring some
more doorbells
and run away?

No, pinky.
Ohh!

We've come to vienna

To see the great
hypnotizing psychiatrist

Dr. Sigmund freud.

Oh, bravo, brain.

You're finally
getting some help

For that problem
of yours--

You know, the one
where you ring
people's doorbells

And then run away.
Troz!

Look, pinky,
i'll explain this
one more time.

My appointment
with dr. Freud
is only a ruse.

When he tries
to hypnotize me,

I will use a pair
of mirrored glasses
to reverse the process,

Thereby hypnotizing
freud himself.

Egad! Brilliant, brain!

Then you can make him
wear a lovely dress
and act like a monkey.

Pinky, how would that
possibly help us

To take over the world?

Well, actually,
i was thinking of it

More as
entertainment. Poit.

All vienna knows that
the emperor franz josef

Is being treated
by freud for depression.

When freud
is under my spell...

unh!

I will order him
to hypnotize the emperor

Into giving me, the brain,

His right
to the imperial throne,

Allowing me
to take over the world!

[Squeak]
[plop]

Uhh!

Ooh!

Did you bring
my mirrored glasses,
pinky?

Yes, i did, brain.

They're right in here
with all the fun, fun games

I brought to play with
in the waiting room.

Zort!
[Gasps]

Oh, look. I've got jacks
and wind-Up toys

And a mahjong tile

And a bottle cap--
Ooh! And yarn.

Freud: herr brain,
you're next.

No! Don't leave me!

I'll be so bored!

What shall i do?!

Well, what about
all this stuff?

Boring.
Been there, done that.

Well, make small talk
with that man over there

And give me
my mirrored glasses.

Um...hi.

Let's see. Um...

do you know anything
about lilliputians?

Excuse me?

I'm sorry.
I'm just trying
to make small talk.

Ach,
don't trouble yourself.

I'm just a sad
little sad man.

Life brings me nothing
but dreary sadness.

I'm sad all the time.

Boy, am i sad.

Well, i brought a pair
of googly-Eye glasses.

They'll cheer you up.

Oogedy-Boogedy!

Ha ha ha ha ha!
Narf!

But all i see
is my own dreary,
sad little sad face.

Poit. These aren't
my googly-Eye glasses.

These are
mirrored gla--
[Gasps]

Uh-Oh.

You are
getting sleepy...

very sleepy.

No, no.

You are getting sleepy.

[Boing]

Hey, take off
those ridiculous glasses.

Huh?

Now, where were we?

Ah, yes.

You are getting sleepy.

Wait. Pinky has
my other glasses.

I--I need them.
I'll just--

No, silly-Billy.

You don't need glasses
to be hypnotized.

Oh, yes. Really, i...

Have...to...get...
them. I...

Yes. Let yourself go.

Must remember to...

hurt pinky
at first opportunity.

No. You don't
want to hurt anybody.

We are going
to discover who hurt you.

We are going back
to your childhood.

Yes. Going back...

back.

You are in
a deep sleep, ja?

Ja.

I mean...

yes.

I want you
to think about a time

When you
were very young.

Freud:
where you are, brain?

Brain:
in a field, playing.

How old are you?

Just a child,

Not a care
in the world.

[Grunts]

[Snap]

[Clatter]

[Grunts]

Suddenly i'm being chased,

Hunted down like
some sort of rabid dog.

Terrified, i run home
to my parents.

They rush to my aid,

But my assailant
is overpowering.

I was taken from my home

And sent to
a research facility.

As i entered those doors,

The carefree innocence
of my youth

Was snuffed out
like a candle,

Replaced with
unremitting darkness.

Lab-Coated g*ons
tried to break our spirits

And brainwash us
into submission.

Others emerged
from the experience...

not quite all there.

Narf! Zort!

Hee hee hee hee!

The slightest insolence
resulted in punishment

Both swift and brutal.

Please, sir,
i'd like some more.

[Mice gasp]

More?

You want more?

Aah.

Aah!

I never met a man
i didn't meet.

Aah!

The problem
with congress is...

they're all liars.

Aah!

Make it stop!

And how did that
make you feel?

Angry...

like i wanted to...

to take over the world.

Hmm.
Emotional displacement.

Obviously, you were missing
the comfort of your home.

Describe the scene
when you were taken away.

Describe your home.

Brain: it's warm.

It's inviting.

It's...

a tin can.

There's something
on the side of it, a...

a picture.

Freud:
a picture of what?

No. No.

I--I mean,
i--I can't tell.

Yes. You must.

It's a picture of...

of...

the world!

And then they
dragged me away.

And you want
your world back.

It's simple.

Yes.

[Snap]
what? Where am i?

Your problem is simple,
herr brain.

You just
want to go home.

I do?

Ja. You don't want
to take over the world.

I don't?

I don't?

[Click]
ok, time's up.

Wait. My plan.

I--I need
more time.

Ja. Ja. We set up
another appointment.

No, i-I've got to...

"how to hypnotize anyone.

Create
a relaxing atmosphere."

Okey-Dokey,
you sick little puppy.

Move it.
I got another client.

Oh, there's not
enough time for this.

[Smack]
oh!

[Gasps]

Oh, no.
What have i done?

Oh, no.
What have i done?

Yes!

You'll obey
my every command.

I will obey.

But wait.
Maybe freud is right.

Maybe this obsession
of mine

Is nothing
but cheap nostalgia.

Maybe all i'm really
longing for is...

is...

a rusty tin can.

What a quack.

Ha ha ha ha ha!
Narf!

Oh, very good,
mr. Elephant.

Zort!

[Trumpets]
ha ha ha ha ha!

Ach, herr pinky,
i'm having
the most exciting fun

For the first time
in my dreary, sad life.

Ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha!

Narf!

Ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha!

I will hypnotize
the emperor franz josef

And order him
to make brain
his successor.

Perfect.

When i snap my fingers,
you will awaken.

[Snap]

Ach! Herr brain,
it's late.

You made good progress
today.

More than you know,
doctor.

Oh, come over any time,
herr pinky.

Here is meine card.

Auf wiedersehen.

Gesundheit!

Who's your new friend,
pinky?

"His most imperial emperor
franz josef"?

Pinky, that's the man
i wanted freud
to hypnotize.

Oh, he
doesn't want to be
hypnotized now, brain.

Since i taught him
all my favorite games,

He says he'll never
need therapy again.

I believe
i need therapy, pinky,

To find out
why i hang around
with a nut like you.

Come. We must
go back to the lab

And prepare
for tomorrow night.

Why, brain?

What are we going to do
tomorrow night?

Try to shrink your head?

No, pinky,

The same thing
we do every night,

No matter how forcefully
the purveyors
of psychobabble

Attempt to dissuade us--

Try to take over
the world!

♪ they're dinky ♪

♪ they're pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ brain, brain,
brain, brain ♪

Assuming a standard
height-To-Weight ratio

And a 3-Point
margin of error...

pinky: ha ha ha ha!

[Synthetic laughter]

Factor in g-Force
and wind shear

Of each downward thrust...

ha ha ha ha!

[Synthetic laughter]

That does it!

Pinky,
what are you doing?

Ha ha ha! Oh, poit!
I'm playing

With my new
"tickle me herbert"
doll, brain.

You just
tickle him here,

And he
laughs and laughs.

Kootchie
kootchie kootchie!

[Synthetic laughter]

Well, put it away.

I can hardly
hear myself think.

Maybe you're just not
thinking loud enough,
brain.

Pinky, may i see that
for a moment?

Sure--Uhh!

[Synthetic laughter]

[Laughter fades]

Oh, brain,
i think he likes you.

Zort!

Now maybe i'll
have the quiet i need

To finish perfecting
my latest plan.

You might say
we're going fishing.

Fishing? Troz!

Oh, what fun,
brain!

I'll bring
my beekeeper's
bonnet

And all the stuff
you need for
keeping bees.

Oh, no, no, wait.
That's not fishing.

Ha! Oh,
that's skiing.

Try to focus, pinky.

This is
the finnious japonicus,

Commonly known in japan
as mugu.

One bite of its tail
renders anyone who eats it

Unable to move
for 24 hours.

I had
a linoleum sandwich
last week

That made me
feel the same way,

But shiny.

Pinky, if you
have anything to say,

Please raise your hand.

Right, brain.

And place it
over your mouth.

[Muffled]
ok.

My plan is simply this--

I will capture
a pair of mugu,
breed them,

And market the tails
throughout the world

As cappy brain's
frozen fish sticks.

While the populace
is immobilized,

I shall implement
my plan of world domination.

There's only one catch.

Oh? Well,
that won't be enough

To feed the whole
world, then, will it?

[Muffled]
sorry.

The japonicus
is so rare

That the only known
specimens

Are those
bred in captivity

For the dining pleasure
of japan's most elite
sumo wrestlers.

[Muffled question]

Take your hand
off your mouth

If you're going
to speak, pinky.

Oh.
[Muffled question]

I have anticipated
your query, pinky.

I plan to become

One of japan's most elite
sumo wrestlers.

Observe.

Narf!
[Gasps]

The "tickle me
dom deluise"?

Oh, why, that's
the most expensive one.

Look closer, pinky.

I have modified my suit

To fit the precise
specifications

Of a champion
sumo wrestler.

With the adjustments
i've made,

I'll be able to flip
a 600-Pound man.

Won't you need
an awfully large
spatula for that?

Don't forget
to pack your doll

When we go
to japan, pinky.

I might feel the need

For some intelligent
conversation.

And sumo!

Noogie.

Give him the noogie.

Noogie,
noogie, noogie.

Unh!

Good work,
tomu-San.

Tomorrow
we work on the wedgie.

Now go.

Brain: master hama?

Yes?

Allow me
to introduce myself.

I am the brain.

I have come many miles
with my small valet pinky

To study sumo
at the camp of master hama.

Your head is as small
as a lychee nut,

But your physique
is excellent for sumo.

I would be honored
to teach you.

Actually, i am but
an insignificant lab mouse

Attempting
to take over the world.

The honor is all mine.

[Clank]

Whaa!
Whoa!

[Crash]

There is no need
for false humility

And groveling.

Come. We begin
immediately.

Let us begin
our first lesson.

Excellent.

Who do i
flip first?

Patience, brain-San.

There will be time
for flipping

When you are
more advanced.

Today, we consider
the pebble.

Consider the pebble?

Zen exercise
to increase concentration.

Observe
the pebble's simplicity.

Listen to its silence.

Become the pebble.

You want me to stare
at a rock all day?

[Chuckles]
oh, no, no.

Just until
lunchtime.

See you
in 4 hours.

Hama thinks
i'm a beginner, pinky.

Until he lets me compete

And prove that
i belong in the camp

With advanced wrestlers,

I'll never get access
to the mugu.

Pinky?

What?

Oh, sorry, brain.

I was becoming one
with the pebble.

Were you?

Yes. And
it's really easy.

All you have to do
is make your mind
a complete blank.

Too bad drawing a blank
isn't an olympic event,
pinky.

We could retire
on the gold medals you'd win.

Eat well, brain-San.
We have much training
left to do.

Aren't you hungry,
master hama?

No. I eat big lunch
with my star wrestlers

In other dining hall--

Fried mugu, cajun mugu,
mugu chowder, mojo mugu.

Someday, brain-San,

Perhaps you will be
allowed to eat mugu,
too, eh?

Sooner than you think,
my pan-Pacific friend.

The sumo men
must eat a lot
to get so fat.

Wrestlers not fat,
pinky-San.

It is muscle tissue

Resulting from years
of strenuous
yoga exercises.

[Door opens]

Who wants pie?

[Wrestlers
all talk at once]

Well,
even the best athletes
like a good meringue.

Pinky,
a day has passed,

And we have nothing
to show for it.

Oh, i don't know, brain.

I've developed
a lovely relationship

With our new friend
the pebble.

Pinky, have you ever
contemplated the sound
of one hand bopping?

One hand, um...

don't think so.

Aah!

[Crowd chattering
in distance]

What is it?
What's going on?

It is matsuhisa,
the best wrestler in camp.

He has
had too much pie

And is taking on
all challengers.

Grrr!

Pinky: egad, brain.

You'd have to be
quite a wrestler

To b*at that matsu hoozy
fellow.

Pinky, are you pondering
what i'm pondering?

I think so, brain,

But who wants to see

Snow white and
the seven samurai?

No, pinky.

I will defeat
the great matsuhisa,

Thereby proving

That i am a great
sumo wrestler.

Then you can eat pie
till you pop. Narf!

[Smack]
aah!

Matsuhisa,
i will accept
your challenge.

What's going on here?

Brain-San has
gone completely insane.

Hmm, oh, that
would explain

Why he won't talk
to my new friend
the pebble.

[Grunting]

Whoa!

Oof!

Quit now, brain-San.

Better to be live coward
than dead idiot.

Don't worry, hama.

It's a matter
of scientific fact

That i can flip any man
up to 600 pounds.

Matsuhisa
weighs 601 pounds.

Arrr!

Rats.

Noogie,
noogie, noogie.

Ow!

Stop hurting brain,
you, you pie wrecker!

[Grunts]
whoa!

[Crash]

[Boing]

Whaa!

[Grunts]

Kootchie kootchie.

[Laughing]

Kootchie kootchie kootchie.
Poit.

Kootchie kootchie koo.
Zort!

Kootchie koo.

Kootchie koo.

Kootchie poit!

[Crowd gasps]

Whaa ha! Whaa ha ha ha!

Whoa ho ho ho!

Whoa! Whoa! Oof!

[Cheering]

The winner!

Narf!
Bring on the pie!

[Chattering]

Pinky: ooh, now we can get
into the fancy restaurant,
brain.

Yes, pinky,

And we'll
get ahold of
the fancy fish.

This way, pinky.

This is it, pinky.

The world's only specimens
of finnious japonicus

Are in this t*nk.

Soon, kitchen freezers
throughout the world

Will be stocked
with cappy brain's
delicious mugu tails,

Bursting with
paralytic goodness.

You put the yum
in yum-Yum-Yummy,
cappy brain.

Zort!

[Both grunt]

Tell me if you see
any movement, pinky.

Pinky: um, think
i saw some movement
just then, brain.

Perhaps i should
have researched
the size of the mugu

A bit more thoroughly.

What do we do now,
cappy brain?

Hope the chef
pushes the mugu, pinky,

And plan
for tomorrow night.

Why? What
are we going to do
tomorrow night, brain?

Same thing we do
every night, pinky--

Dry off, and then

Try to
take over the world.

[Bubbly voices]
♪ they're dinky ♪

♪ they're pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ brain, brain,
brain, brain ♪