03x28 - The Family That Poits Together, Narfs Together

[bunniefuu]

Gee, brain,

What do you
want to do tonight?

The same thing
we do every night,
pinky,

Try to take over
the world.

♪ they're pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ yes, pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ one is a genius ♪

♪ the other's insane ♪

♪ they're
laboratory mice ♪

♪ their genes
have been spliced ♪

♪ they're dinky ♪

♪ they're pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ brain, brain, brain ♪

♪ brain, brain, brain,
brain, brain ♪

♪ before each night
is done ♪

♪ their plan
will be unfurled ♪

♪ by the dawning
of the sun ♪

♪ they'll take over
the world ♪

♪ they're pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ yes, pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ their twilight campaign ♪

♪ is easy to explain ♪

♪ to prove
their mousey worth ♪

♪ they'll overthrow
the earth ♪

♪ they're dinky ♪

♪ they're pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ brain, brain, brain ♪

♪ brain, brain,
brain, brain ♪

Narf!

Man: sara.

Cliff, you're back.

I thought i'd never
see you again.

I just went
to the store.

You were gone
a whole 37 minutes.

I can't stand to be
without you.

I'll never leave you
again, sis.

We'll order takeout.

[Cries]

Tv announcer:
join us tomorrow on...

the story of
a loving family.

Oh, family reunions
always make me cry.

Narf!

Oh, wait. My family's
never had a reunion.

[Sobs loudly]

Brain! Brain!

I've never had
a family reunion.

There's
a very logical reason
for that, pinky.

If too many
nincompoops gather
in the same place,

The universe
will implode.

Oh, brain! Oh!
Poit!

I miss the way my mother
used to put on her armor

And ride around
on her little horsie.

Oh, now, wait.
That's not my mother.

That's xena,
warrior princess.

Ohh! I've never
had a reunion

With xena, either!

[Bawls]

You watch entirely
too much tv, pinky.

Here i am, working hard
to take over the world

So that all mankind
will worship
the glory of me,

And you're just
thinking about yourself.

Look at this, pinky.
What do you see?

Your pen is leaking
again, brain?

Besides that.

This is the sunday
crossword puzzle.

The most educated people
all around the world

Spend hours each weekend

Deciphering its complex web
of interlocking verbiage.

But change
just one clue,

And the whole puzzle
becomes impossible
to solve.

Just like that
strange wiggling puzzle

On the end of my leg.

That is your foot.

Yes! I could never figure
that one out.

I will change one clue
in the crossword puzzle

In every newspaper
around the globe,

Throwing
the intelligencia
into a hopeless dither.

While they frantically
riffle through

Their dictionaries
and thesauri,

I will step
into the breach

And take over
the world!

Let's see.

Um, 37 cases
of white-Out,

A gross of fine point
markers,

And cab fare to get
to every front stoop
in the country.

Oh! And a couple
of onion bagels
to eat in the cab.

That comes to...

$24,987.75.

Bagels with
no cream cheese?

Cream cheese!
How could i be
so foolish?

Then it's
an even 25,000.

Where will we get
all that money?

Hmm, well, we could
always go without
the cream cheese.

I could ask my parents
for a loan...

if i knew where they were.

[Sobbing]

Pinky, we can't possibly
find your family.

Now, why don't you
run along

And suck your toes
or something while
i get back to work?

Tv announcer:
and now it's on the air!

With squeege
and kathie glee!

Listen up, loyal
but rapidly aging audience.

It's monday, and i'm here
with miss wonderful again.

Squeege, i gotta tell
you what my darling
colby did this morning.

We don't care about
your family, kathie glee.

We want to hear about our
audience's wonderful family.

Oh, you're right,
squeege.

It's time
to announce

The "i've got
the most wonderful
family" contest.

I'm not eligible,
of course, but my family
would easily win.

Kathie glee, you're
making us all sick!

Listen, folks, just send us
a video all about your family

And tell us how wonderful
they are.

Like we care.

Poit. I'll bet
my family's wonderful.

If only i knew
where they were.

Pinky.

Oh, i miss my mum and dad
and my vivacious sister.

Her name was sis,
but we just called her sis.

I'd say, "sis, do you
like to be called sis?"
And sis would say--

Pinky, i have had it
up to here with all
this family nonsense.

For the last time,
stop talking about
your family!

I've got
more important things
to think about.

I don't want to hear
about your family
anymore! Ever!

Talking about
your family is out!

Do you hear me?
O-U-T, out!

Tell us about your family,
and you could win
the $25,000 prize!

$25,000 prize?

Pinky, tell me
about your family.

Ooh-Hoo hoo.
I'm all a-Tingle.

What shall i say,
brain?

Just say what you
were saying before.

You know, about your father
named sis or whatever.

Oh, you're so grouchy,
just like
squeege filbern.

Oh! We should do
a talk show!

Brain, how do you think
i'd look with a red wig?

Badly bruised.

[Sobs]

And then they were put
in their cages

And taken away!

[Sobs]

And that was the last time--

[Sobs]

I saw my--

[Sobs]

My wonderful,
wonderful family!

[Sobs loudly]

[Both sob]

That is the most incredible
story i've ever seen!

Look!
I'm staining my suit!

Put in cages!
Can you imagine?

They treated that
poor little man's
family like--

Like animals
or something.

Oh, we've gotta
get them on the show.

Get me acme labs.

Man: hello, acme labs.

Mr. Pinky?

I don't think we
have a mr. Pinky.

You sure you don't
want the beauty shop
next door?

Ok. I'll check.

Phone call
for a mr. Pinky!

Brain, there's
someone else here

Who has
the same name as me!

Except for
the mister part.

Let me handle this, pinky.

Uh, this is mr. Pinky's
associate, mr. Brain.

Squeege filbern
here.

Did we win the contest?

You're one
of the finalists!

Round up the family
and bring 'em
to new york.

Bring them to new york?

What, am i talking
to an echo?

We're gonna pick
a winner
on national tv.

Uh, oh, i don't know.

This joker's
playing hardball.

Must be his agent.

Ok. We'll spring
for the plane tickets
and hotel rooms.

Good-Bye already.

Uh, we'll be there.

I mean, good-Bye.

There's no one here
named mr. Pinky.

Hello?

He hung up.

Well, pinky,

It looks like
you're going to get
that family reunion...

somehow.

According to the requisition
files at the lab,

This is the pet store
where you were born.

Ah, yes. It makes me feel
all wet and hairless.

Inspector ferguson
with the better bureau
of business misconduct.

Uh, wha--
Can i help you?

We've had reports
of a problem
with certain mice

Sold at this store
about 2 years ago.
Observe.

[Making gibberish]

Zort!

Oh, freaky, man.
I'll get
the records.

The list says
your mother was sold
to a first grade class.

We think you may have
a contagious mouse.

I'm afraid i'll have
to quarantine her.

Goodness!

Here!

The next place is
warner brothers animation.

Pinky: what would my father
be doing there?

Oh, we've got a great idea
for a show about a mouse.

Yeah. He's a lab mouse
who wants to take
over the world.

Hmm, uh,
i don't know.

Excuse me. I'm from
the board of health.

That mouse
may be contagious.

We wouldn't want bugs bunny
to catch anything, would we?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

You know, you should
make a show about
a guy like that,

With funnier dialog,
of course.

Your sister is apparently
at this petting zoo.

Oh, yes. She was always
a people person.

But you don't
understand.

I'm sorry, sir.

We have our own veterinarian
on these premises.

You'll have to leave.

But, brain,
my sister!

There's nothing i can do.

Oh, look. That's her
over there.

Where? I don't see
any mice.

There!
On the ground!

Pinky, that's an empty
spool of thread.

It's my sister!

Oh, don't leave her,
brain. Please!

Pinky.

Ahem. Is there
some problem?

No. Heh heh heh.

Pinky:
ow! Narf!
Brain?

Just tidying up.

A clean petting zoo
is a happy petting zoo.

Pinky: oh,
thank you, brain.

Why are we going
in here, brain?

This is where we shall
transform your family

Into advanced
intelligent mice,

Like you and--

Well, like me.

We're going to use
the machine!

Oh, not
the machine!

Yes, the machine.

It's been hidden away
for years.

I know it's
a drastic step, but--

No!

It's too horrible.
I won't let you.

You can't play god
with my family!

No!

Get ahold of yourself,
pinky.

It's the only way.

We must use
the acme gene splicer.

The acme gene splicer?

Oh, i thought you
were talking about
the epilady.

Pinky, i am not putting
that thread spool

Into the gene splicer.

But, brain. Zort!

She's my sister!

"She's" an inanimate object.

The gene splicer
won't have any effect.

[Bawls]

You are cruel
and heartless.

Oh, i suppose
it can't hurt.

You are kind
and generous.

You are kind of vacuous.

But at least i'll have
your parents around

To help keep you
in line.

Zort!

Here we are then,
a lovely spot of grass.

Nice day for a picnic.

Mummy! Daddy!

Ooh! You've had
your head

In the weed whacker
again, haven't you,
son?

Here. Narf! Let's
give it a buzzing.

Zort!

No one like a mum to give
a good head dressing,
eh, son?

Oh, look!
Here's sis!

Troz! What
a lovely girl.

Always
so vivacious.

Stand up straight.
Show off your figure.

Mum, dad, this is
my friend, the brain.

He's going to take over
the world.

Take over the world, eh?

Well, it's
a little project
i'm working on.

I could tell you how
to take over the world.

A bowl of milk
calm the cat.

Oh, he's a clever one,
he is.

Yes. I'll be sure
to jot that down.

There's what i like
to see, a young lad
with ambitions.

Sensible, like me
and your mum.

Oh, the lawn's
dead again.

Slap it! Slap it!
That will loosen it up.

Don't want to be caught
outside in the winter.

That's a floor.

Yes! It needs water.

Chase me!

Zort!
[Pinky's parents laugh]

Oh, brain.
Narf!

It's just like
old times.

Yes, pinky, this is
definitely your family.

I talked to joey,
the genetically-Altered
gerbil,

He'll water the plants for us
while we're in new york.

Tell him he can
use the vcr,

But not to dust
around my desk.

I can never find anything
after he's been here.

Pinky's mum:
i'm almost packed.

We'll have food pellets
for tuesday lunch.

Food pellets for supper.

Then for wednesday breakfast,
i thought...food pellets.

I'm told they do have
food in new york.

Where is this
new york?

Is it far outside
the cage?

It's very far away.

Oh, i'd better take
some food pellets then.

As far as
that sink?

Much, much farther.

We have to take a plane.

A plain what?

An airplane.

It's a giant metal bird.

Bird? Where?

Aah! Giant bird!

Aah!

It's not a real bird.

A bird will swoop down
and eat you right up,
he will.

Unless it's a llama.

I know. We'll feed it
food pellets.

Food pellets?
Where will we get
food pellets?

I don't know.

Chase me.

[Pinky's parents laugh]

Pinky, your parents
are driving me crazy!

Pinky?

Chase me!

Ha ha ha ha!
Zort!

I wonder if i can just
sell them for $25,000.

Nah.

Flight attendant:
please remain seated with
your seat belts fastened

And your tray tables
in the upright position.

I never knew the inside
of a bird was so comfy.
Poit!

If i had known,

I would've got eaten
by a bird
a long time ago.

Here, birdy, birdy.

How do you feed a bird
from the inside?

The pretzels
aren't for the bird.

They're for us to eat.

Yes!
Sis loves 'em.

Well, it's no
food pellet,

But at least
it's dry and tasteless.

Now, there's a way
to take over the world.

Get a big, hollow bird,
fill it with pretzels,

And bingo!
No more llamas.

Good, eh?

I'll take it
under advisement.

I'll let you have
that one for free.

Thank you.

Oh, this makes
me thirsty.

Nurse? Nurse!
Where's the water bottle?

Shh! I'll get
the flight
attendant.

Oh, miss?

What's this?

This looks like
a water bottle.

Yiiii!

Did you need
something, sir?

I could've used
a pillow,
but it's too late.

Man: on the air
in 10 minutes,
mr. Filbern.

Is the other family
here, yet?

No, sir. Not yet.

Well, at least,
you're here.

The family that wins
the $25,000 prize

Has to be wonderful
and unique.

Oh, unique doesn't
begin to describe
pinky's family.

Whee!

Ha ha ha.

Oh, hello, brain.
We're playing king
of the castle.

And i'm the queen.

I got a lovely cape
and slippers.

I told you they
had food here.

Where?

Pinky, remember,

They're looking for
the most wonderful family.

You know, like a painting
by norman rockwell.

Oh, that's us, brain.

Pinky's mum: chase me!
Ha! Ha! Hoo! Hoo!

More like a painting
by norman bates.

Woman:
we're here!

[Plays instrument]

♪ we're the perfect family ♪

♪ we're perky, bright,
and chipper ♪

♪ when we meet squeege
and kathie glee ♪

♪ we'll win one
for the gipper ♪

All: yay!

Look, sis. Say hi
to our competition.

We're doomed.

Are you
mr. And mrs.
Perfect?

Yes.
Sorry we're late.

My c.P.R. Class
was this morning.

And then we had to pick up
junior here from cub scouts.

Say, you
are perfect.

Aw, thanks.
Aw, thanks.

[All laugh]

You're on the air
in 2 minutes.

Even their name
is perfect.

We'll lose
for sure.

Pinky, what are
we going to do?

About what?

Tv announcer:
join us tomorrow

On all my siblings,

The story of
a loving family.

When sara says...

let's do everything
together from now on.

A loving family?

Oh, yes, brain.
Zort!

That is my favorite
soap opera.

They tape it
right down the hall.

That's it.

Pinky, are you
pondering what
i'm pondering?

I think so, brain.

But why does a forklift
have to be so big

If all it does
is lift forks?

Are we going to be
on the telly now?

You know, i was
on the telly once.

You were?

Yes. Fell right off.

You know, pinky,
i bet your family

Would like a tour
of the television studio.

Oh, yes!

We'd like that.

But there's no time,
brain.

Oh, there's
plenty of time.

The tour starts
right down the hall.

Will they have
pretzels?

We don't much
like pretzels.

No. You don't have
to worry about that.

Well, all right then.
Come along, dearie.

Have fun!

But--But, brain,
what about the contest?

Pinky,
if we go on the show
with your family,

We'll lose for sure.

Poit. We will?

Yes. Now trust me.

I'll meet you
on the set
in 5 minutes...

with your new family.

Well, brain, i guess
you know what's best.

And after the flood,
i served dinner
at the soup kitchen.

While i knitted
comfy blankets
for everyone.

Gee, squeege,
they are
the perfect family.

Aw, thanks.
Aw, thanks.

[All laugh]

Well, folks, that is
gonna be a tough act
to follow.

But let's meet
our other finalist,

Mr. Pinky and his family.

[Applause]

Narf!

Why don't you
introduce us?

Ok. Um...

who are you?

Uh, i'm pinky's
mother.

I just negotiated
world peace.

And i'm pinky's father.

I just cured cancer.

Oh. And i guess this
must be my, um...

sister?

Oh, he's confused.

He means this
is his brother.

But, brain, i don't
have a brother.

Ha ha.
You've forgotten.

You see, they've been
separated for so long.

And yet, they all
ended up on the same
soap opera.

What are the odds
of that?

Oh, it's not in here.

He said right
down the hall.

Mum! Dad! I mean,
um, strangers!

Strangers?
That's a fine
what do you do?

Oh, look!
We're on telly.

Give your mum a kiss.

What's going on?

I'm getting confused.

Say hello to
the confused man, sis.

Um, i can explain
everything.

No. That's all right,
brain. Poit.

Let me.

This is my real family.

Troz!

Who said we weren't?

You see, i was afraid
my family

Wasn't good enough
to win the contest.

And i wanted the prize
so i could help my friend.

But even if we don't win,

I'm so happy
i found my family again.

Because i don't think
a family has to be perfect

To be wonderful.

Oh, i love you, sis.

Group hug!

[Audience cheers]

That's the most
touching story
i've ever heard.

Uh-Huh. That's it.
Where is the prize?

They win?

But they tried to cheat!

Well, i guess we're not
all as perfect as you.

Now get lost!

[All groan]

Here's your
$25,000 prize,

An all-Expenses
paid trip around
the world.

Trip around the world?

You mean in one of those
big hollow birds?

Trip? But
where's the cash?

Who said anything
about cash?

Ah, look, brain.

Another postcard from
mum, dad, and sis. Zort!

What do they say?

Oh, nothing, brain.

They don't know
how to write.

But it looks like they're
having fun on their
round-The-World trip.

How lovely for them.

Now, help me prepare
for tomorrow night.

What, brain?
What are we gonna do
tomorrow night?

The same thing
we do every night,
pinky,

Try to--Hey,
that's my pencil!

Chase me!

[Laughs]

Grrr...

pinky, come back here
with that.

♪ they're dinky ♪

♪ they're pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ brain, brain,
brain, brain ♪