01x03 - Bad Company

[bunniefuu]

This is me, eliza thornberry.

Part of your average family.

I got a dad, a mom, and a sister.

There is donnie-- we found him.

And darwin? He found us.

[Jabbering]

Oh, yeah, about our house-- it moves.

'Cause we travel all over the world.

You see, my dad hosts this nature show

And my mom sh**t it.

Okay, so we're not that average.

[Panting]

And between you and me

Something amazing happened...

And now I can talk to animals.

It's really cool

But totally secret.

And you know what?

Life's never been the same.

[Captioning sponsored by the u.s. Department of education

And nickelodeon]

[Snorting]

[Croaking]

[Growls softly]

[Birds begin singing]

[Chattering]

Eliza: all right!

[Jabbering]

[Donnie jabbering...]

Finally, it stopped!

Oh, yes!

[Giggles]

[Howls]

Nigel?

[Grunting...]

Nigel!

I've combined the best close-up lens

From the beta cam with a tiny, hi- cam.

I call it my "go up in the trees

And take pictures of spiders" cam.

Smashing, marianne, a camera customized

To meet the requirements of the rare, bird-eating spider.

Gosh, I'm afraid I don't have much to show for my efforts.

That is so cool.

Really? Do you think so?

I suppose it would be

If you fancied soaring high into the almost limitless canopy

Of the primordial rain forest.

Can I try it?

Eliza!

This is a very complicated system

Your father and I are going to usecarefully

To locate a rare spider.

But we've been cooped up in the comvee for days.

You don't see your sister complaining, do you?

[Debbie screaming]

Okay, that's it.

Who's trying to destroy what's left of my, "yeah, right, life?"

What happened?

Somebody used the last

Of my two-in-one organic shampoo and conditioner.

[Whimpers]

[Grunting]: come on, darwin.

Pull me up.

[Giggling...]

May i? Thank you, debbie.

Passion flower, brazil nut, chamomile.

Why, debbie, you're not out of shampoo.

All these ingredients come from the rain forest.

They're all right here.

Why, an intrepid teen with a thirst for adventure

And a guide to local plants...

We'll pick you up another bottle when we get to manaus.

Oh, because I'm not an "intrepid teen?"

Is that it, mom?

You think I couldn't make my own shampoo?

Of course I do, it's just...

[Crashing, thudding]

You watch.

By the time you and dad

Come back from spiderville

I'm going to be shampooed, styled and conditioned.

Debbie, don't go too far.

Well, then, be care...

...bye.

[Yelps]

[Donnie yells...]

Uh, hi.

[Growls]

[Clears throat]

Okay.

[Donnie shrieking]

Well, shall we go?

Eliza, I know you've been cooped up

A long time, but I promise

When your father and I get back

Uh... I don't know... We'll do something fun, okay?

Sure, mom, okay.

Good-bye, eliza!

We'll be back soon.

Oh... They're so lucky.

Oh, you think so?

I think it's nicer down here

Near the ground.

Hey, I can get into the canopy on this.

Come on, darwin.

We don't need any ropes and chairs

It's just climbing trees.

[Grunting]

[Screams]

[Yelps]

[Grunts]

[Giggling]

That's really not funny.

[Giggling]: yes, it is.

[Stifling laugh]: I know.

[Laughter...]

[Laughter echoing...]

[Loudly]: hello!

[Voice echoes...]

[Yells, grunts]

[Laughter in treetops]

Hey, come down here.

It's all right.

[Monkey chattering]

Hi, there.

I'm eliza, what's your name?

I am tuku.

Drip drop, drip drop, waiting for the rain to stop.

I was inside the comvee.

I thought I was going to explode.

What's explode?

Go boom!

All chanting: boom, boom, boom, boom...

[Chanting...]

Marmosets, yech.

Boom, boom, boom...

[Giggling]

[Chattering...]

[Giggling...]

Ah! Oh...!

Hey, cut it out.

I was clean.

[All chattering]

They're just playing around, dar.

Oh, you want to play?

We'll just see how funny it is

When you're the one covered.

Covered in...

[Yelps]

Marianne, quickly. Come see.

Is it the spider?

No, it's a rat.

[Squealing]

You should have seen him, marianne.

Scurrying through the canopy

Absolutely panicked.

And you decided to stop him.

Goodness, marianne, you're right.

Oh, heavens, not much of a naturalist, am i?

Plucking this animal right off the branch.

Heaven knows what I've disrupted

What with the delicate balance of nature and everything.

You could just set him back down.

Set him back down? Of course.

Oh, marianne, super, well-played.

Off you go.

Now, how about that spider?

Oh, right.

Think I can't make shampoo?

I can make shampoo.

Shampoo is what I'm about.

[Screaming...]

[Loud crash]

[Chattering...]

That was great!

Can I try?

Mish-mash, mish-mash

You can make the kettle crash.

[Giggling]

All: mish-mash, crish-crash...

[Giggling]

[Jabbering]

[Chattering...]

What's your name?

I'm borno.

Mish-mash, crish-crash.

[Giggling]

More?

More mish-mash?

No, tower time, tower time.

Tower time!

Borno, tuku, no, not yet.

Slide and glide.

Slide and glide?

[Screeching...]

Oh, just watch me, mom.

That's it.

[Sniffing air]

Chamomile.

[Screams]

[Splash, gulping, coughing]

[Grunting]

[Parrot crying]

[Grunting]

Oh, marianne, quickly. Come see.

Nigel, nigel, where's the spider?

Didn't you find the spider?

A caterpillar?

Yes.

Inching along like the world is afire.

Look at him go.

A regular lightning bolt.

Well, that is, as far as caterpillars go.

Caterpillars?

Wahoo... !

[Giggling, chattering]

Boom, boom, boom,...

That rocked!

[Yelling... ]

Tower time.

Tower time?

[Chanting]: tower time...

[Bees buzzing]

Passion flower, just try and stop me.

[Bees buzzing]

[Screaming]

Tower time.

Hey, guys.

What do you think of that?

Guys?

Guys.

[All chattering...]

[Whimpers]

Tower time!

[Chanting]: tower time, tower time, tower time...

What's the tower for?

Crash.

Smash.

Build the thing then knock it down

Then everything falls to the ground.

[Donnie yelping, laughing]

Hey, wait!

Tower time, tower time...

[Crying...]

Stop it!

No, no, stop.

Knock it down, fall to ground!

[Chanting]: knock it down, fall to ground

Knock it down, fall to ground, knock it down, fall to ground...

That's enough. No!

No, not stop, boy on top!

[Angry yelling]

[Gasps]

[Panting fearfully]

Close the windows.

I don't like monkeys.

[Electric whirring]

[All scream]

[Howling]

[Ropes creaking]

Marianne.

Watch this.

Ooh...

[Laughing]

Ooh...

That was smashing.

Want to give it a go, darling?

No, let's just find our spider.

Oh, right.

[Moans, wails...]

Couldn't resist, could you, muffin?

[Screaming]

Oh, no, we sealed everything.

Where are they coming from?

The vents!

[Screaming]

[Crashing]

[Screaming]

When I lift the pot, you grab him.

Why don't I lift and you grab?

Darwin.

Okay, okay.

[Jabbers]

I did it, I did it.

You see that, mom?

So what if I don't have a college education.

Who cares?

I can make my own shampoo.

[Sniffs]

[Monkeys chattering]

[Metallic thuds]

[Yelling]

[Whimpering]

[Metallic thuds]

[Whimpering...]

[Yells]

[Shrieks]

[Grunts]

I don't have to tell you that we're surrounded.

Maybe there's a lot of them.

But we have got something that they don't have.

They're, they're little monkeys,

And we're, well, we're not.

[Donnie jabbering]

Easy, donnie, save it for them.

Let's just go out there

And try and scare them off.

[Both sigh]

[Loud shrieking]

[Marmosets fall silent]

Well, that worked nicely.

I don't like this, darwin.

[Jabbering frantically]

I wonder where they went.

They must have seen me.

[Sniffs]

Don't you think it's... Weird?

[Sniffing]

Wow, what's that wonderful smell?

[Debbie screaming...]

[Screeching]

Debbie?

[Screaming]

[Munching loudly]

Climb into the canopy and find mom and dad.

Me, up there?

Debbie's only got that stuff on her head

Because you used her shampoo.

Who said I used

The last of debbie's shampoo?

Your hair looks great.

Do you really think so? I...

Oh! I can't stand you sometimes.

[Birds singing...]

Nigel, I want to show you something.

Yes, dear.

Three days ago

When you told me we were coming up here

To sh**t pictures of a spider

I came up with a plan.

That's why I made this camera.

It was part of my plan.

See, nigel?

Plans are important.

Plans keep us focused.

They keep us from wandering around all day

And help us find a bird-eating spider.

[Guffawing]

Oh, you poor dear.

You must think I'm wandering around up here

Like some daft old conjurer.

Actually...

That's about right.

No, marianne, silly.

A bird-eating spider rarely eats birds.

But he does love a mouse now and again.

As well as caterpillars.

So, by finding caterpillars and mice...

We were on our way to the bird-eating spider!

Nigel, that's incredible.

[Giggles]

So there was a reason for everything you did.

Every move, carefully planned

To bring us ever closer to our objective.

Hmm... What was the point of spinning around on the ropes?

Oh, wasn't that just so much fun?

[Screams]

Darwin?

[Screeching in panic]

[Screaming]

Nigel? Oh, my.

We have to get debbie.

And so we shall. Come on.

[Squeaking]

[Whimpering]

[Screaming]

[Panting fearfully]

[Screeching]

[Screaming in terror]

Debbie!

Eliza, why am I being chased

By tiny monkeys?

They want to eat the stuff in your hair.

That is really gross.

[Huffs]

Now what?

[Panting]

[Yammering]

[Grunts]

[Yelping]

[Screeching ferociously]

Donnie, stop it.

[Yelping]

[Shouts]

[Splats]

[Screeching furiously]

[Gobbling]

They're going to eat my head.

Maybe not, watch this.

Ow, hey!

Bombs away!

[Splatting]

Ooh!

[Yelps]

[Grumbling hungrily]

[Screeching]

[Gobbling]

[Grunts]

[Screeching in panic]

[Screeching furiously]

[Sighs]

That was so creepy.

Yeah, it was.

For a second there

I actually thought we were going swimming.

[Sighs deeply]

Hello, girls.

Oh.

Whoa!

[Coughing]

Everyone all right?

[Sputters]

Yeah.

[Coughs]

Yeah.

Well, I must say.

Your mother and I had

A fascinating sojourn in the canopy.

Eliza, I'm sorry you couldn't share in the excitement.

It's really okay, dad.

Oh, well, good.

Well, now that the rain has stopped

What do you say we spend another day here?

Girls: no!

Come on, girls, let's roll.

[Donnie scatting]

Come on, weed.

I'd be crushed if we left you behind.

What's that for?

I thought if I wasn't going to be allowed

To use debbie's shampoo, I might make my own.

That's a good idea.

I'll bet some of those marmosets

Are still hungry.

[Growls]

[Slams]

[Cawing]

[Squeaking]

[Screeching...]

Marmoset: mish-mash, crish-crash.

No! Tower time!