02x11 - You Ain't Seen Nothin, Yeti

[bunniefuu]

- This is me, eliza thornberry,

Part of your average family.

I got a dad, a mom, and a sister.

There is donnie-- we found him.

And darwin--he found us.

Oh, yeah, about our house--it moves,

'Cause we travel all over the world.

You see, my dad hosts this nature show,

And my mom sh**t it.

Okay, so we're not that average.

And between you and me, something amazing happened,

And now I can talk to animals.

It's really cool, but totally secret.

And you know what?

Life's never been the same.

- [Screams]

- Tenzin, how much further is it to dai teng point?

- Not far now, mr. Thornberry.

- [Groans]

[Shivering]

Think hot things.

Hot things.

Arizona.

No, hotter.

Nuclear spicy burritos.

Hotter.

Ugh. Mmm, des brodean.

- Deb, this'll be awesome.

Hardly anyone has footage of snow leopards.

- [Scoffs] freeze it, "nerdsicle."

I'm trying to keep my eyelashes from breaking off.

[Groans]

- [Chattering]

- You want to eat a snow bank, monkey boy?

- [Shivering]

- You don't look happy.

- A happy chimpanzee is a warm chimpanzee.

- Isn't it magnificent, poppet-y?

A land shrouded in pillowy, white mystery,

From unexplored peaks, to the storied yeti.

- Shh. Do not speak of yeti.

- What's a yeti?

- Oh, come now, lad.

Surely, you don't believe the abominable snowman is real?

- In our village is old woman.

As little girl she lived further up mountain.

One day, she hears many big noises like laughing,

Crying, and screaming at same time.

Three yaks gone.

Big yeti feet marks in snow.

- [Gulps]

The yeti wouldn't hurt snow leopards, would it?

- Don't let tenzin's stories scare you, eliza.

- The yeti's only a colorful legend, pumpkin.

- Sure, dad.

- You know, dai teng point is a legend, as well.

My own mentor used it as a launching pad for

One of his expeditions years ago.

Of course, he was never seen again.

- [Gasps]

- [Sighs]

But maybe this isn't the best time to mention that.

- Let's press on, everyone.

Who'll join me in a whistle?

[Whistling]

- [Groans] excuse me.

- [Chatters] - [grunts]

- A construction site up here?

- Extraordinary.

I believe this is written in arabic.

Let's see if I can translate.

I'm--i'm--i'm--i'm awfully rusty.

"Happy bar mitzvah, sheldon."

- No, it says, "hasim construction, no trespassing."

I am hasim.

- We're the thornberrys.

We're filmmakers.

- Welcome.

It is good to see others in this cold place.

Of course, soon, there will be many others here

To spend their money, and enjoy my resort.

This land is the next boomtown.

Building here will further

Endanger snow leopards, mr. Hasim.

- It will?

- If the leopards have no caves,

They can always stay in my hotel.

- I bet people won't stay in your hotel when

They find out there's a yeti up here.

- Little girl, you have quite an imagination.

You have no need to worry.

If any leopards get too close,

My humane traps will ensure they come to no harm.

Now then, can I reserve you a room in advance?

- That won't be necessary.

Come on, nigel, we need to reach

Dai teng point before nightfall.

- Oh, that's it.

- That's it!

- [Chattering] - that's it?

That's dai teng point?

There's no cable dish.

- Come on.

- [Groans] this is the last straw.

I demand to be put up for adoption.

[Shivering]

Oh, great.

Welcome to, "chateau meat locker."

- Uh, tenzin, could you ask your father

What time we should start tomorrow?

We're anxious to go further up the mountains.

We cannot climb higher. Yeti is up there.

- [Growling] - [gasps]

- [Speaking native language]

- Woah.

- It's the yeti.

- Oh, it's all right.

That was a snow leopard. [Laughs]

Before we knew there were snow leopards up here,

Everyone thought their howls were yeti calls.

- [Speaking native language]

- We must leave. It is the yeti.

- It is? Where?

- Not good to stay here if yeti is here.

We go. You come with us.

- Dear boy, you can't leave.

- [Growling]

- [Screams]

- [Speaking native language]

- We take you back down mountain with us now, please.

- Mom, let's go with them.

- Tenzin, we're not leaving.

I'm sure whatever's making that noise is harmless.

Right?

- We will hope for your safety.

- Now what do we do?

We're alone up here with the abominable snow geek.

- Tenzin and his family are just superstitious, debbie.

There's no proof there actually is an abominable snow geek.

- I was talking about eliza.

- [Pounding] - [gasps]

- Eliza, what's out there?

- I don't know.

That noise wasn't made by any snow leopard.

- We'll try to be back in a few hours.

Without sherpas, it might take a little longer.

Stay here, and we'll check in with you on the shortwave.

- What are you doing?

- I think it was the yeti that scared away our sherpas,

And if I find it, then maybe I can get proof of it on tape.

- Forget I asked.

- It's worth a try.

Come on.

- What are we doing?

Isn't there supposed to be a monster out there?

- [Growling]

- Well, that answers my question.

Let's all go back.

- Whatever made that noise is close, darwin.

We've got to see what it is. - "We?"

I don't remember being asked to be part of any "we."

I want to go home.

- Well, then I guess we'll meet you back at the cabin.

- [Whimpering] - [growling]

- [Whimpering] - [growling]

- [Gulps] life is lovely.

Life is perfect. Life is good.

Life is lovely. Life is perfect.

[Shivering]

- [Trilling] -[whimpering]

[Screams]

- [Moaning]

[Trilling]

- [Sighs]

[Both grunting]

- [Chattering]

- Woah, woah, woah.

[Laughing]

- [Chattering]

- Hey, wait up.

[Laughing]

[Gasps]

Oh, my gosh. There it is.

We've got to get a closer look.

[Gasps]

Don't let it see us. Don't let it see us.

- [Chattering]

- Donnie, what are you doing?

- [Growling]

- Run!

- Run!

- [Growling]

- [Panting]

- [Chattering]

- [Panting]

- [Screams]

- He's still right behind us. Hurry.

Oh, come on.

The camera.

[Grunts]

[Gasps]

- [Chattering]

- We got lucky, donnie.

Come on.

- [Chattering]

- Only we'll be quieter this time, won't we?

- [Chattering]

- An exciting discovery.

We have located what appears

To be abandoned snow leopard habitat.

This is proof these legendary cats

Still prowl this region.

- Hmm, it's a shame we haven't found leopards yet.

- Oh, I suppose you're right.

Well, don't fret, I'll merely employ some method acting,

And show you what leopards would be doing if they were here.

You'll hardly know the difference, poppet.

[Growling]

- [Laughing]

That'll be great for our "naturalists

Who need medication" film.

- We must've run all the way back to the construction site.

- [Whimpering]

- Huh? What's that?

- [Whimpering]

- Hold on, I'll have you out of there in a second.

- You can talk?

Thanks.

Thank you.

- [Chattering]

- [Laughing]

He's funny.

You should see him stick bugs up his nose.

Ugh.

Look, we should probably get you home.

I bet your family's worried about you.

- Our cave is that way.

Or maybe that way.

Or maybe--

- Maybe we should ask a mountain goat for directions.

- [Sighs]

- This is an emergency frequency, who is this?

- Um, debbie thornberry.

- What is your emergency?

- I'd like to request a song.

- This frequency is reserved for emergencies only.

Unless you have an emergency, turn off your radio now.

- Okay, okay. Don't blow a sparkplug.

- [Pounding] - [whimpering]

[Screams]

[Screams]

[Laughing] well, duh.

- [Shivering]

[Grunts]

- [Laughing] darwin.

Oh, man, I don't even want to say what I thought you were.

[Laughs]

I mean, with eliza babbling about

That abominable what-cha-ma-call-it,

I felt like one of those kids in a horror movie, you know?

When she's, like, all alone, and she hears a knock,

And right outside there's a--

[Both screaming]

- I'm back. I'm back.

- [Purring]

- And just where have you been?

I was so worried, I was pulling out my fur.

- I got caught in a trap.

She helped me.

- [Gasps]

[Both screaming]

- Monster!

- [Growling]

- It's gone.

It's gone.

It could come back.

It could come back.

[Yelps]

[Groans]

- Now what do you want?

- Believe me, this is an emergency.

There's a yeti--

An actual abominable snowman right outside.

He's gonna get me.

- Hold, please.

- [Whimpering]

- Thank you for holding.

- Send the army,

Send the navy, send the mari--

- All of our operators are busy.

We estimate your holding time will be

Three hours.

- Three hours?

I'll be leftovers by then.

- [All growling]

- Mama, papa, don't growl at them.

She saved me.

- It was no big deal.

I'm good with locks.

- [Sniffing]

Do they smell all right to you?

Sorry we growl at you.

- That's okay.

- People keep coming to our mountain,

And we have to keep moving higher and higher up.

But usually, they don't see us, because we hide.

Or else, he protects us.

- Who protects you?

- [Growling] - [gasps]

It's the yeti.

- [Chattering]

- Come on. Hide with us.

[Gasps]

Too late.

Stop!

Please, don't hurt them.

Or me.

- [Gasps]

Well, I'll be.

The wee bairn likes you.

- D-did that yeti just talk with a funny accent?

- What?

Ack.

Angus macwhirter, lass, at your service.

- [Panting]

That thing could still be out there,

Trying to figure a way to get inside.

[Panting]

- [Shivering]

[Screams] - come on, monkey.

Neither one of us wants to be a yeti-kabob.

Help me.

[Grunting]

This isn't helping.

- [Pounding]

[Both whimpering]

- So you're not really a yeti?

- You don't seem happy to meet me.

- I was just hoping there was a real yeti.

- There's just me, lass.

I came here a long time ago to study these bonnie creatures,

Then decided to do whatever I could to protect them.

- [Chattering]

- So for years, I've pretended to be the yeti.

But that's all coming to an end.

- An end? You mean you're quitting?

- No matter how many kids I scare away,

More of 'em keep comin' back.

- But what'll happen to the leopards

If you're not helping them anymore?

These guys are ready to start building now.

- I'm just a tired, old scots-puffin.

I can't do this forever.

- It's not that you can't help them.

It's that you won't.

Somebody's got to.

Come on, donnie.

- Wait, it's dangerous.

- [Chattering]

- [Growling]

- [All speaking at once]

- Back to work.

- [Growling]

- Wait, but don't leave.

I cannot build without you.

- [Growling]

- This is the terrible yeti?

- Donnie!

- [Chattering]

- [Groans]

- Quick!

- Get them!

[Door pounding]

- [Whimpering]

[Pounding]

[Both whimpering]

- Huh?

[Door pounding] -[grunts]

That's it! You want a piece of me?

Well, I'm not going without a fight.

Come and get it, yeti.

[Grunting]

[All screaming]

- Oh, honey.

- [Moans]

- [Chattering]

- Oh, mom. Oh, dad.

Thank goodness.

We thought you were the yeti.

- Oh, that--that pounding?

Those weren't yeti noises.

Those were markhor noises.

- Markhor noises?

Not markhor noises!

Wait, what's a markhor?

- Look.

[Markhor goats bleating]

- [Pounding]

- [Sighs]

- Where's your sister?

[All yelling]

- Help!

All: eliza!

[All panting]

- Hang on, everybody.

[All yelling]

[All screaming]

- [Screaming]

- [Panting]

[Grunting]

I'm not that scared of you.

- You should be.

- [Growling]

- [Grunting]

Let me go.

- [Roars]

[All screaming]

- Mr. Macwhirter, wait.

- [Growls] in there, you.

We're not losing you again.

- Mr. Macwhirter, I tried to stop you but you kept running.

- What are you talking about?

- Look, those construction workers out there--

- Eliza, I've been here since you left,

Thinking about what you said.

- You were here?

But then who was out there?

- Eliza, we heard-- [gasps]

Lord nelson's trousers, it's a yeti.

No creature threatens a thornberry.

[Makes karate noises]

- Dad, don't!

- Eliza, get behind me.

[Growling]

- Thornberry?

- Uh-huh.

- Nigel thornberry?

- Dr. Macwhirter, can that be you?

- Dad, you know him?

- Ah, my favorite protege.

Still hot-blooded, just like you were in the defense

Of that spanner throw, eh?

- Oh, it's smashing to see you, sir.

But all these years, we thought you were--

- He's been here the whole time, dad,

Pretending to be the yeti, to help snow leopards.

[All purring]

- Um, nice kitties.

- [Chattering]

- [Screaming]

- Perfect.

And the footage should help this mountain

Be declared a preserve.

- That makes my job easier.

- You know, you could come back with us, doctor.

There won't be any more developers

To worry about up here.

- Madam, I'm grateful, but this is the only home I know.

And I've grown used to being the yeti.

- Well, I hope you'll join us for a spot of dinner

Before we leave, at least.

We'd love to hear of your exploits.

- It would be my pleasure.

How would you like to know what your father was like

When he was a laddy?

He was quite the sport, eh?

- Oh, not the story about the one-eyed iguana,

And the shaving cream.

[Laughing]

Gosh.

- Dad is blushing.

Excellent.

- I don't get it, darwin.

If dr. Macwhirter didn't scare

Those construction workers, what did?

- [Screams]

- Wow.

- [Growling]

- [Screams]

[Whimpering] what is it?

- It's a friend, darwin.

A friend.

- [Growling]

- Klasky csupo.

- "We"?

I don't remember being asked to be part of any "we."