01x02 - For Lunch

[bunniefuu]

[Beep beep]

Seat belts, everyone!

Please

Let this be

A normal field trip.

With the frizz?

No way!

♪ Cruisin' on down main street ♪

♪ You're relaxed

And feelin' good ♪

♪ Yeah! ♪

♪ Next thing that you know,

You're seein' ♪

Wa-ha-ha-hoo!

♪ An octopus

In the neighborhood! ♪

♪ Surfin' on a sound wave ♪

♪ Swingin' through the stars ♪

♪ Take a left

At your intestine ♪

♪ Take your second right

Past mars ♪

♪ On the magic school bus ♪

♪ Navigate a nostril ♪

♪ Climb on

The magic school bus ♪

♪ Spank a plankton, too ♪

Take that!

♪ On our magic school bus ♪

♪ Raft a river of lava ♪

♪ On the magic school bus ♪

♪ Such a fine thing to do! ♪

Whoa!

♪ So strap your bones

Right to the seat ♪

♪ Come on in

And don't be shy ♪

♪ Just to make

Your day complete ♪

♪ You might get baked

Into a pie ♪

♪ On the magic school bus ♪

♪ Step inside,

It's a wilder ride! ♪

♪ Come on ♪

♪ Ride on the magic school bus ♪

[Beep beep]

Arnold,

That's brilliant!

It is?

Yeah. Ms. Frizzle said

To bring in something

To help answer

The question,

"What happens

To the food we eat?"

Oh, right.

What did I bring?

Your own mouth,

Chewing.

It's the first step in--

In digestion.

Yeah, yeah,

We know,

Dorothy ann.

But my buddy

Arnold here is

Not chewing food.

He's chewing

Gum.

Gum?

Yep. Been chewing

For hours and minutes.

Only hours

And minutes to go

Before he breaks

The school

Gum chewing record.

But, wanda,

What's chewing gum

Got to do

With digestion?

Nothing, but the

First one to break

The gum chewing

Record wins

Two free tickets

To action mountain,

The wildest, scariest,

Best scream-your-lungs-

Out-ride in the world,

The ride of my dreams.

Let's get the facts.

Arnold wants to go

On the fastest,

The scariest,

The best scream-your-lungs-

Out-ride in the world?

Do you feel

All right,

Arnold?

Actually, my ticket's

Up for grabs.

I'm just helping wanda out.

I would have done

The chewing myself,

But I got

A new filling. See?

Ahh!

Aah!

[Grunting]

Oh, good morning,

Class.

One digestive

System coming up!

Ee-yah!

Now, that's more

Like it.

[Hiccup]

Was that

In the lesson plan?

As I always say,

"No guts, no digestion."

Well,

As I always say,

"No chewing,

No free tickets."

Come on, arnold!

Chew, chew, arnold!

Um, wanda,

I think i, uh...

Swallowed it.

Very funny, arnold.

You're kidding,

Right?

Say, "ahh!"

Ahh...

Arnold,

How could you?

Wanda, i--

We were going to

Ride action mountain

Together.

You didn't do it

On purpose, did you?

No, no! It was

An accident, really!

I'm sorry, wanda.

I told you

Breaking records

Made me nervous.

I told you I've never

Won anything in my life.

Never say never,

Arnold.

I told you you should have

Picked someone else!

Aw. Hey,

Arnold, it's o.k.

I mean,

It's only a ride.

And that's the end

Of that.

Actually, wanda,

It's only

The beginning.

Of what?

Our next field trip.

Field trip!

Field trip?

Ms. Frizzle,

I'd really love to go

On a field trip,

But--but I've got

This weird feeling.

I mean,

I already ruined

Wanda's day.

What if I ruin

Everybody else's?

Well, arnold, I do

Need a volunteer

To stay behind.

Stay behind?

Come on! Let's go!

Me! Me! Pick me!

Thank you, arnold.

All right!

Wait a minute.

This is too good

To be true.

What's the catch?

Meet your substitute

Teacher.

Liz?

Oh...could be worse.

See you very soon,

Arnold.

One field trip for them,

One bag of cheezie

Weezies for me.

Hmm. Our timing should be

Just about right.

I don't get it.

I thought we were

Supposed to

Answer the question

About what happens

To the food we eat.

Yeah. Where are

We going?

Not far, class.

Not far at all.

Here we go!

Mm mmm!

Whoops!

Whoa!

Whoa!

Where are we?

Check out

The pink pavement.

The walls

Are dripping.

You know what, ms. Frizzle?

At my old school,

We'd turn back

In this kind of weather.

What are those

Humongo white things?

Whoa!

If you ask me,

They're humongo bus-crushers.

Actually, ralphie, they're

More like humongo

Food-crushers.

Wait a minute.

If that's food...

Carlos: we're either

On the weirdest

Cutting board in the world...

Or in somebody's mouth!

Eww!

Bingo.

But not just

Anybody's mouth.

[Beeping]

Look familiar?

Arnold?

Arnold!

Boy, it's kind of

Empty in here.

I wonder

Where they went.

Well, wherever they are,

They don't have me

To slow them down anymore.

Hmm.

Ahh, nothing like

Cheezie weezies

With a green olive chaser.

So the first thing

That happens to the food

When it gets digested

Is the teeth

Cut and grind it

Into smaller pieces.

At my old school,

We were never

Allowed to be

Digested.

Never say never,

Phoebe.

But according

To my research,

After chewing

Comes swallowing!

I call it

Action arnold--

The wildest,

Scariest,

Best scream-your-lungs-out-

Ride in the world!

Wahoo!

Aah! Aah!

Class, welcome

To the esophagus.

The asparagus?

No, carlos,

The esophagus,

It's where

Your food goes

After you swallow.

Ahhh...

Ms. Frizzle,

What are you doing?

Time to let arnold's

Digestive system

Do the driving.

Cool! It's like we're

Driving through a tunnel,

But the tunnel's

Driving us.

Hey, arnold.

How about a push?

I wonder if this

Is what it feels like

To get squeezed out

Of a tube of toothpaste.

Yeah, but I get

The feeling we're not

Gonna end up

On arnold's toothbrush.

Right you are, tim.

The esophagus

Connects the mouth

To the--

Anyone?

I don't know how much more

Of this I can stomach.

Excellent, ralphie.

The stomach is the next step

In digestion,

And it's a real doozy!

Aah!

Aah!

In just a few moments,

We'll be landing

In arnold's stomach.

Thank you for flying

Digestion airways.

Now, that's what

I call a belly flop.

Ha ha ha!

Olive eating--

Now, that's a school record

I could go for.

Thanks.

Wanda would be

So impressed.

Oh, arnold!

Hey, why not?

Aah! Oof!

"The all school

Record book"?

"Olive eating--

"?

O.k., It doesn't

Have to be olives.

Ohh. There have to be

Other records waiting

To be broken.

♪ Yo ho ho

And a stomach of slop ♪

Check out the pink cliffs

Of arnold!

Ralphie,

That's his

Stomach wall.

Rock, dead ahead!

I bet this is

What the pilgrims felt like

Before they crashed

Into plymouth rock.

Forget the pilgrims!

The walls are moving!

Whoa! Whoa!

Hard aport, class!

[Gasp]

I know

Arnold likes rocks,

But do you really

Think he'd swallow one?

That's no rock.

That's

Arnold's gum.

Phew! That was close.

Is it just me,

Or do you get the feeling

There's more out there

Than just food and water?

Whatever it is,

It's eating the bus.

Nothing to worry about.

Just a little stomach acid.

Stomach acid?

Stomach acid?

Here at united digestion,

We believe

In breaking things down.

We start with the raw material

Of the food,

Put it in the mouth,

And use the finest teeth

In the world

To tear, grind, and crush it

Into pieces

Small enough to swallow.

Then the food gets

Pushed down the esophagus line

Into stomach central,

Where we add acids

And other chemicals

To break the food down

And dissolve it

Into a liquid.

And that's only

Half of what we do here

At united digestion.

Man, when it comes

To digestion,

Arnold doesn't

Mess around.

You haven't seen

Anything yet.

You mean,

There's more?

Mm-hmm.

All right, arnold!

If this doesn't impress her,

Nothing will.

How many more to go, liz?

One more, and I break

The school record

For pens stuffed

Into a pocket protector!

[Rumbling]

Aah!

What's that?

Poor arnold!

Looks like he's got

A hole in his stomach.

Not a hole, keesha,

A valve.

The doorway

To his small intestine.

Yeah, well, it just

Swallowed the gum.

Hey, why hasn't

The gum been digested?

A few things are too tough

To be broken up and dissolved.

Like school buses,

Right?

There's only one way

To find out.

Here we go!

Aah!

Whoa!

Where are we?

It looks like

Scuba world.

Welcome to

The small intestine,

The next step

In digestion.

I don't get it.

The food's been

Dissolved, digested,

Whatever.

What else is left to do?

As I always say,

Ralphie,

Digested

Is not delivered.

Anyone for a dip?

Go swimming in arnold's

Digestive juice?

Not me. No way!

How was I supposed

To know she'd have

Digestive juice scuba gear?

Isn't this

The coolest?

Hey!

There's the gum!

I'll be right back.

Hey,

Look at this.

The dissolved

Food

Is disappearing

Into these

Rubber

Cactus-type

Things.

They're called villi.

Cool. They're soaking up

The food like a sponge.

But where did it go?

Here at united digestion,

What we digest,

We deliver.

As the villi

In the small intestine

Soak up the nutrients

In the food,

The nutrients are transferred

Into the bloodstream,

And the bloodstream

Delivers the nutrients

To all parts

Of the body

Because here

At united digestion,

We believe in turning food

Into fuel.

I get it.

The bloodstream

Is like

A pizza delivery

Service,

Only it delivers

Energy.

Speaking of energy,

Where's wanda?

Whoa! Aah!

Wanda!

[Snoring]

[Stomach growls]

Huh? Did I do it?

Minutes

And seconds?

How can I break

The school napping record

If my stomach

Keeps waking me up?

[Growling]

Where could she be?

I don't see her

Anywhere!

Wanda, where are you?

Wanda!

We've been through

The entire small intestine,

And no sign of her.

Whoooaaa!

There she is.

Aah!

She went into

The large intestine.

The large intestine?

You mean there's more?

What's that?

Just arnold's leftovers.

Watch out!

[Horn beeping]

Aah!

Boy,

What a ride!

Talk about action!

P u! What's that? Eww!

Man, if the small intestine

Was scuba world,

The large intestine

Is smell world.

At least it's a lot

Drier in here.

Yeah, but where's wanda?

Wait a minute.

This should work.

Wanda, if you

Can hear this,

Give a shout.

Whoa! Whoa!

Let's go!

All right!

The further we go,

The drier it gets.

It looks like

The walls

Are sucking up

All the water.

That's the large

Intestine for you.

It removes the water

From the leftovers.

So we have to find

Wanda before she gets

Dried into a raisin.

A raisin? Cool.

Ralphie!

Ralphie!

Uh, not cool at all.

Terrible, actually.

Heh heh.

Yikes! Aah!

[Gasps]

Wanda! Don't!

Aah!

Aah!

Whoa!

Got you!

All right, carlos!

You saved her.

Saved me?

I was having

A blast!

Arnold's digestive system

Is the wildest, scariest,

Scream-your-lungs-out-

Ride in the world!

And it's not

Over yet.

We've done the mouth,

We've done the esophagus,

The stomach,

The small intestine,

The large intestine.

What could be next?

The extra-large

Intestine?

No. We just have

To join the rest

Of the waste products

And finish the trip.

What?!

What?!

Wait a minute.

According to my research,

The waste

Products go...

Uh-uh!

No way!

At my old school,

We were never

Allowed to end up

In the toilet.

Anyone have

A better idea?

We could go back

To the mouth

And ride it again.

Wanda!

Wanda!

She's right.

We could go back

The way we came.

I've been

Keeping track,

And the digestive

System

Is just

One long tube

Divided into parts.

We started off

In the mouth,

Got squeezed

Down the esophagus,

Landed in the stomach,

Got pushed

Into the small intestine,

And wound up here

In the large intestine,

And since we don't want

To go out here,

All we have to do

Is go backwards.

We could go back

Up the large intestine,

Back through

The small intestine,

Into the stomach,

Back up the esophagus,

And burst triumphantly

Out the mouth.

It won't be easy.

You're right, tim.

Digestion pushes

Everything down.

We'll have to fight

Our way back.

We might never make it.

Never say never,

Ms. Frizzle.

Ha ha ha!

How can I break

The record

For eating lunch

If I can't find

My lunch?

Hmm. I wonder

If there's any rules

About it having

To be my lunch.

A chocolate mallow-blaster!

♪ She'll be coming

Around the mountain ♪

♪ When she comes ♪

Yee-ha!

Full speed ahead!

This is insane.

Consider

The alternative.

You know, biking is

My favorite sport.

Now!

So much for the easy part.

The easy part?

Yeah. Remember all

The muscle power

That pushed us

Down the esophagus?

[Groaning]

And it's almost noon!

If arnold eats lunch,

There's gonna be tons

Of food raining

Down on us.

If I eat ralphie's lunch

And break the lunch-eating

Record real fast,

Wanda will think

I'm the best thing

Since velcro

Shoe fasteners,

But then ralphie will be

Steamed at me for eternity.

[Stomach grumbling]

What are we gonna do?

What are we gonna do?

What are we gonna do?

Wanda, what are we

Going to do?

I've got it!

But if I don't

Eat something,

I'll wither away

To nothing.

I know! I could eat

Ralphie's lunch

And think up a good excuse

On a full stomach.

Wanda:

Arnold!

What? I've heard my stomach

Growl before, but talk?

Arnold!

Are you

About to eat

Ralphie's

Mallow-blaster?

Uh, no. I-i mean, yes.

Hey! Wait a second.

Who is this?

This is your

Conscience, arnold.

You know you shouldn't

Eat ralphie's

Mallow-blaster.

Besides, you're not

Even hungry.

Not hungry?

I could eat a--

You just think

You're hungry.

What you really are

Is thirsty.

I am?

Trust me. You are.

Now, there's a nice

Bottle of seltzer in

Wanda's lunch bag.

That's what

You really want.

Uh, o.k.,

I guess.

Hey. How come it's o.k.

To drink wanda's seltzer

But it's not o.k. To eat

Ralphie's mallow-blaster?

Because wanda's

A far kinder

And more generous

Human being

Than ralphie

When it comes

To sharing.

Then how come when she has

A mallow-blaster,

She hogs it all

To herself?

Look, I'm

Your conscience,

All right?

Just do what

I say and drink

The seltzer now!

Time me.

Kids:

Way to go, arnold!

Now let's rock the bus

To create

A giant gas bubble.

Kids: it's working!

It's working!

Now what?

[Rumbling]

[Belch]

Did I break

The seltzer-chugging record?

I'll never break a record.

I'll never win anything.

I'll never even

Get to eat lunch.

Did someone

Say "lunch"?

Ahem.

Congratulations,

Arnold.

Huh?

You just broke the record

For being

The best field trip ever.

Wh-what?

And giving me the ride

Of my dreams.

You mean, I was

The field trip?

Yep.

But where exactly

Did you go?

[Stomach grumbles]

You went inside...

Ha ha ha!

Ms. Frizzle,

No matter what,

I'll never miss

Another field trip,

Never, ever,

Ever, ever!

Wonderful, arnold.

[Growls]

Um, starting right after

The next one.

Ha ha ha!

Is this

The magic school bus?

Is this the magic

School bus?

Overlapping voices:

Is this the magic school bus?

Magic school bus?

Magic school bus?

Both: magic school bus?

Overlapping voices:

Magic school bus?

Kids:

I want the magic school bus!

[Telephone ringing]

Magic school bus.

Just a minute, please.

Hold on.

Be right with you.

[Gulp]

Magic school bus.

Boy: boy,

For a show on science,

There sure are a busload

Of mistakes.

You think so?

I mean, they just zipped

Through the digestive system.

Nobody's food goes

Through them that fast.

You're right.

It takes more than

Hours to digest,

But when we pitched

"Digestion:

The miniseries,"

The network didn't bite.

And where did

All the light come from?

Except for in the mouth,

Digestion takes place

In complete darkness.

Believe me, it would

Have been a lot cheaper

To do "the magic

School bus" radio show.

And another thing:

You only showed

The small intestine

Absorbing stuff.

Um...so we left out

Something?

Something important.

The stomach doesn't

Break down everything.

The small intestine

Breaks things down, too.

And all that stuff

About the system

Not working in reverse--

Sometimes it does,

Like when you throw up.

Right again.

But normally,

It doesn't work

That way.

And talking about normal,

They didn't complete

The ride.

Waste products that

Accumulate in the large

Intestine--

I know. I know.

They are eliminated

Out through the anus,

The end of

The digestive system.

It's natural,

It's normal,

But did you really

Expect us to show that

On daytime tv?

Well...maybe not.

And another thing:

Wanda using gum

To go bungee-jumping

In the large intestine?

I mean, come on.

[Chuckle]

Cute, huh?

You could never use gum

For bungee jumping,

Not in a million years.

I wish you guys would

Stick to the facts.

Huh?

What was that?

Um, that?

Oh, that was just

The sound of liz...

Stretching the truth.

Ha ha ha!

♪ Surfin' on a sound wave ♪

♪ Swingin' through the stars ♪

♪ Take a left

At your intestine ♪

♪ Take your second right

Past mars ♪

♪ On the magic school bus ♪

♪ Navigate a nostril ♪

♪ Climb on ♪

♪ The magic school bus ♪

♪ Spank a plankton, too ♪

♪ On our magic school bus ♪

♪ Raft a river of lava ♪

♪ On the magic school bus ♪

♪ Such a fine thing to do! ♪

♪ So strap your bones

Right to the seat ♪

♪ Come on in and don't be shy ♪

♪ Just to make your day

Complete ♪

♪ You might get baked

♪ Into a pie ♪

♪ On the magic school bus ♪

♪ Step inside,

It's a wilder ride! ♪

♪ Come on ♪

♪ Ride on

The magic school bus ♪