Alien Report, The (2024)

[bunniefuu]

- But it seems--

- Look at that thing.

There's a whole fleet

of them, look--

My gosh.

Ever since I was a kid,

things have been

happening to me.

Strange, strange things

have been happening to me.

And...

...I just

never really figured out

how to talk about it.

I'm filming a documentary.

I'm using GoPros, iPhones,

and tiny medical cameras.

My bigger plan...

...is to post it all on YouTube.

Let everybody see

what's been going on.

This will explain everything.

So I'm out here

at the county junkyard

doing a couple tests.

I got my hat cam.

I've got this cam,

and I got this new tool

that is supposed

to bust out a window

in the first try.

And, uh, I'm gonna find out

who's been behind

those tinted windows

in my neighborhood.

Here we go.

One--

Okay, three tries.

There's one around the corner.

At the end of the alley.

Oh, come on, come on,

I hope it's still there.

To the guy...

...whose window

I busted out today.

I did you wrong.

I'm sorry.

Unfortunately...

...your car just so happened

to look like one of the cars

I've been looking for.

Today I was wrong.

Next time...

...I'm not gonna be wrong.

Come out! Come out!

What the f*ck, bro,

you f*cking broke

my window, man!

My car!

Get him!

Diesel, don't k*ll him!

Yo, yo--

I need someone to come.

Get him! No!

Get him! No, no!

I know you're not

gonna believe this.

I've been abducted

by aliens my whole life.

My car! What's up, man?

Guess what?

I found a way to record it.

See,

I hid a tiny micro camera

inside of my hearing implant.

And no one knows

that it's there.

And I've been recording

these abductions

in high definition,

with color and sound.

...f*ck out of here!

f*ck--

The stuff I got,

it's all messed up.

But when you see it,

you're gonna see what I've

been seeing my whole life.

And I've got it.

I've already got it.

This is the kind of place

I go to in my mind when,

when I need to keep them out.

And when they dig deep

into my mind,

I just focus on the sound

of the board smacking the rail.

The noises. The rush.

They don't know

what to do with it.

Kind of just messes them up.

Hey, hey. What you doing, man?

You doing a video over here?

Oh, sh*t, my boy

doing a video, bro.

- Hell yeah!

Let's make some videos, man.

What you say?

What's your thing, bro?

Huh? I wanna be

in a video too, bro.

Bro. Hold on,

bro. Hold on, hold on.

Hey, can I be in your video?

Can I be in your video?

Eh, he got-- Hey, he's got

real serious real quick.

Hey listen, hey,

you out here live with Polo,

you already know me.

It's a beautiful Friday night.

Got a little weed in my system--

but listen,

I think he--

I think I pissed him off.

Hey, listen,

can I be in your video?

You know I'm just playing

with you, right?

You know I'm just paying

with you, right?

You ain't mad at me, are you?

I think he's mad at me.

I think he's mad,

I think I pissed him off.

Hey listen,

how about we make a deal?

Us four right here.

We're gonna make

a little sweet deal, all right?

Hey, give h-- give him the bag,

give him the bag.

So, I need that work done

by Monday. All right?

So get me that work

done by Monday

and you get your phone back.

What you think? We got a deal?

Give me my phone back.

- I need that work done

by Monday.

And you get

your phone back. Deal?

-Can I get my phone back?

-We got a deal?

Dude, I'm just

playing with you-- hey,

you know I'm just messing

with you, right?

You know I'm just playing

with you, right?

You're my guy, bro,

you're my go to guy.

Just get the phone--

just get t-- get the phones

done by Monday

and we'll be all good.

Good?

-...my phone back.

-It's all yours, bro.

Thanks a lot. Monday, okay?

Sorry, Polo.

Monday's too soon.

Why did I wait so long?

The footage!

I don't even know--

I thought I was ahead!

- I'm so stupid, I'm so stupid!

Stupid, stupid, stupid!

I don't even know what's real!

I don't even know

what's going on!

There are

these unusual vehicles.

Sporty modified cars with dark,

blacked out tinted windows.

And strange numbered

license plates.

Sort of, like, foreign plates

or government plates.

They follow me

and they're watching me,

monitoring me from a distance.

It's been going on...

...maybe my whole life.

Often, I catch one

out of the corner of my eye

for just a moment before

it speeds around the corner

and disappears out of sight.

Who's in those cars?

What's behind

those blacked out windows?

Who's watching me?

And is it one of them?

Or is it one of us?

My first footage ever

was from a tiny medical camera.

But the image quality

just wasn't good enough.

When I got it,

though, I immediately

posted it on YouTube,

thinking it would

go viral right away.

Check out

some of these comments.

"Nice job

with the photoshop, dickweed."

"Seriously creepy, but fake."

"Ha, ugly dog.

Not convincing at all."

"Stop posting,

loser, aliens are real,

this is the sh*t

that ruins the internet

and the cause

we all believe in."

"I'm not sure what I'm supposed

to be seeing here.

Really? Do you think

we're all that dumb, you POS?"

So I rebuilt my implant.

The one I got now

is a modified micro camera

with cell phone optics.

I also programmed it

so it records in random bursts.

That way, if I don't know

it's recording,

they don't know it's recording.

So I work with electronics.

The thing about electronics is

they disable them.

Always.

Any electronics,

anything mechanical

is always disabled

when they take you.

That's what they do.

But interbody components,

like pacemakers

and bioelectronics,

I don't think

they power those down.

Because one night,

I fell asleep with my implant on

and they didn't power it down.

That's a huge deal

because my implant

has a power supply

that stays on.

And with that power supply,

I started thinking

I could reorganize

the components

and squeeze a micro camera

right in there.

See that?

This is my nighttime implant.

This is the one

with the camera in it.

And they still

don't know it's there.

When they have you,

you can't move,

you can't speak,

you can't do anything

they don't want you to do.

And if you're lucky,

you won't remember any of it.

Did you say something?

I just wanna go home!

What's the matter with you?

What's the matter with you?

How do we get out of here?

When I look up

at the sky at night,

I see more than just the stars

and the moon and the planets.

I see a giant open door.

You know, a huge open window

that can't be shut.

That's the sky that I see.

You know, people obsess

over locking their doors

and locking

their windows every night

before they go to bed, right?

That's what we do.

But our sky,

we can't close that.

When we send

these satellites into space

with these messages

on NASA's golden records...

- ...spiting

in 55 different languages,

broadcasting to things

we've never even met.

Over and over and over again...

...deeper and deeper into space.

"We are from Earth.

We are exactly right here.

Whoever you are,

please come to us.

Come and see what we have.

We have plenty for all.

And if you arrive

late in the night

when everyone is asleep,

the sky is wide open.

The sky is always wide open.

We are the children.

And it's a pleasure

to receive you."

When I was a kid...

I heard

these voices in my head.

I was visited

by these light beings.

And I thought they were angels.

And I thought all kids

were visited by these angels.

When I told the other kids

about them, though,

it just caused problems.

Apparently, other kids weren't

being visited by these angels.

It was just me.

I was brought up in the system

through Child Services.

It labeled me as sort of being

f*cked right from the start.

And with my messed up face

and all that,

most people thought

I was just some schizoid.

So doctors pumped me

with all that schizoid med sh*t,

and most families

didn't want me,

except for the crazy ones,

which made it even worse.

And so I was brought up

to be this little psycho

right from the start.

And turns out I had

a grandma, though.

She found me when I was,

like, six or seven maybe.

She came in

and snatched me right out.

In a blink of an eye,

it all changed.

She got my hearing right.

She got me speaking right.

Got me out of that system.

And we began this sort of...

run around the country.

You know? Town to town to town.

City to city to city.

I was always the new kid.

Always the deaf kid.

Kid with the face.

Problem kid.

We're always moving.

My grandma,

she was,

she was tough.

She was sort of eccentric.

She was a good person.

She passed away

not too long ago, though.

Now that it's just me--

I guess that's why

I'm making these videos.

I got footage of this one.

She's a mix. She's female.

Half us and half them.

But she's more like us. Human.

I feel like I've seen her

my whole life.

I know her. She has this name,

but it's not a name.

They don't use names.

They use, like,

abstract thoughts

or descriptions as names.

Hers...

is something like

"the beginning of night"

or "the moment

night begins to form."

She's trapped like me.

I'm down here and she's up there

or wherever they are, with them.

W-- we're both a part

of whatever it is they're doing.

And I don't even know

what that is, but she does.

She can't tell me.

She won't tell me.

I can always tell when

they're hooking into my brain.

They see everything.

Everything I know,

everything I think,

everything I've ever known.

One time, they were all over me.

So I started thinking

about survival mode

in this video game, Driver.

The cops are chasing me.

I'm slamming into the walls.

Cars are flying everywhere.

Crashing, smashing, speeding.

I'm screaming as loud as I can.

It's weird, but I could tell

I was freaking them out.

They just stopped moving

and locked onto my thoughts.

I actually reached out

and pushed one of them.

Not hard,

but it took them by surprise.

When they're in my mind,

I don't let them know

about my hidden camera.

I don't let them know

about my hidden camera.

I don't let them know

about my hidden camera.

I don't let them know

about my hidden camera.

I block it out.

I think about Driver

or some crazy thoughts.

They feed off of strong emotions

cause they don't have any.

There was this lady

on this table.

she was laying right next to me.

She had her chest cut wide open.

They were doing

some sort of experiment on her.

I thought she was dead.

She was just laying there,

looked straight up,

eyes wide open.

But then she turned

and started talking to me.

Hey.

Are you crying?

Don't cry.

Everything will be okay.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

They remind me

of a swarm of bees.

When they stare at you,

there's no eyeball,

it's just black.

They talk to you

with those things.

Sometimes, that's all I see,

it's those eyes.

Those big black eyes.

And it doesn't matter

which one's talking to you.

It's all in the same voice.

It's my voice, my own voice

telling me what to do.

They share a master brain

or thought process.

What one of them knows,

they all know.

What one of them thinks,

they all think.

You believe everything they say

because it's

your voice saying it.

You can't help it

because it's like a God voice

that speaks

to every bit of your being,

to every sense

and to every belief.

You do whatever they say.

They tried to soothe me,

but they have no clue

how to do it.

They're sort

of emotionless or robotic.

They say

that they're helping us,

making us better,

making us biologically better.

I hear them think that,

like they own us or something.

They share

these unusual thoughts.

"We are all one.

We all come from the same place.

We're helping you,

don't be afraid.

We're making you better."

Better how?

Better like what? Like them?

Stop taking me.

Because you terrify me.

You take me when you want

and you make me do things

I don't remember.

So I've got

these four cameras now.

I got my hat cam.

I got my chest cam.

Got the bike cam.

Got the hidden cam.

And they're all powered up

and they're all ready to go.

Whoever you are,

whatever you are,

I see your cars.

I can feel you

when you're around.

And I used to pretend not to,

but I'm not gonna

pretend anymore.

Who's watching me?

I wanna know.

I keep the cameras rolling.

I wanna put my face up

against one of their windows.

But they play by a whole

different set of rules.

They seem to know

when I get too close.

They speed away

before I get near

and just sort of vanish.

Catching one will be difficult,

but that's to be expected.

There's one right over there.

That's what

I've been talking about.

All right.

There's something in my leg.

Here, look.

Watch how this magnet

gets pushed away.

Can you see that?

You can't even see that.

There's, like,

some sort of magnetic field.

I don't know

what's in there, but...

...I'm gonna cut it out.

Oh!

There it is.

It looks like a piece of glass.

Hang on.

I don't know

if you can see that.

There's, like,

thousands of little

light crystals in there.

The magnet's going crazy.

I wonder if that's

how they've been tracking me.

Not anymore.

Come out! Come out!

Hello?

- No!

- Stop!

Stop, police!

I got one running.

Stop!

Stop!

I stopped chasing

after those cars...

...after one of them

tried to put me in its trunk.

But there's been this one parked

behind an abandoned building

for the past few nights.

Earlier, I decided

to call the cops on it.

And I got

the whole thing on video.

This is the fourth time

I've called. Is anyone coming?

Sir, stay on the cell phone,

all right? We're on our way.

Hello?

Oh!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

What happened?

There was a light...

...the black car was gone!

Where am I? Where am I?

Where am I? Where am I?

I've seen things!

Horrifying, terrifying,

incredible things.

Things in tubes,

genetic experiments,

where people are screaming

right in front of me

and I can't help them.

All things done to us

that just aren't right.

We live to be 80 years old

if we're lucky.

And that's just

a season to them.

Just a tiny blink of time.

And I don't know how we're

gonna do anything about it.

Last night I got this footage.

They were working on me.

And I didn't like it.

And in the back--

In the back, there was

the biggest man I've ever seen.

It was like a Frankenstein.

He was all slumped over,

hooked up to these tubes.

But then he stood up.

Broke free, swinging his fists.

Started coming at us.

Step by step.

Swinging and swinging.

While I was watching it,

all I could think of was,

"Get them, Frankenstein.

Get them, Frankenstein!

Get them, Frankenstein."

Look what's happening

to my face.

I got these things

all over my body.

They hurt.

People are looking at me.

They're doing this to me.

I know they're doing this to me.

They've been taking me a lot.

I think they know

I'm up to something.

But they don't know what it is.

But they've been--

but they've been probing me...

...and taking me...

...all the time.

Trying to figure it all out.

But I'm not letting them in.

I don't know how much longer

I can keep this up.

I, I only sleep

during the day...

...in crowded places.

I've been falling asleep in...

...movie theaters,

libraries, coffee shops,

trains,

wherever there's people.

And then I stay up all night.

I go to a club

or whatever's open.

As long as there's people,

and I don't fall asleep...

...they can't get me.

No, lay down.

Relax. Relax.

Stay down.

That's a lot of blood!

What's your name?

Where you going?

I don't eat.

I don't sleep.

I'm not sure

what's going on.

They're making me sick.

They're scrambling my brain.

I-- I've been gushing blood.

Not just a little, a lot.

Out of my nose.

Out of my ears.

Out of everywhere.

I hope I'm not dying.

You know?

As if anyone would even care.

Please.

Make it stop.

Make it go away.

I think I'm done.

I took all of my footage,

copied it on

to these flash drives,

and hid them all

throughout this giant warehouse.

In the next couple of days,

I'm either going to upload them

or take it to somebody

that can do something with it.

I don't know.

But I'm done.

Done.

Why did I wait so long?!

- The footage,

it's gone!

Gone, gone, gone!

They erased it,

they erased it all!

I don't even know--

I thought I was ahead!

I thought I had them,

but they knew the whole time!

- I'm so stupid, I'm so stupid!

Stupid, stupid, stupid!

I don't even know what's real!

I don't even know

what's going on!

Mystery man.

It's me, Polo.

Hey, I got this green

little flash drive,

and it's yours.

It was in the bag of phones.

And I watched all the footage.

Start to finish.

What the f*ck is this?

Man, this is gonna be trouble.

We can help you.

Call me.

Is he alive? Is he alive?

Look at his face. Do something.

Save him, please!

Division 616,

United States Air Force Elite.

I am flight commander 13516.

Test pilot for highly advanced

acquired alien craft.

Anti-gravitational lift,

propulsion integration.

Security clearance alpha,

tango, Mike, bravo.

You can't take him!

That's my flesh and blood.

He doesn't belong to you. No!

No, don't send me back!

I'm not leaving without him!

Little baby,

I'm gonna hijack

one of their ships

and hide you in another place,

- in another time.

- -I wish you could understand me.

But I don't wanna leave you.

You're not alone in this world.

I am your father!

I'll find you.

I'm coming back for you.

I swear.

See, Darwin says that this gap

between apes and humans...

...is the missing link.

There's something missing,

they say.

Yeah, well,

it ain't missing.

Darwin just couldn't find it.

See, he was too busy

digging in the ground

when he should've been

looking up at the sky.