[Music]
how can we play results noise
[Music]
are you ready for a hot night of chess
[Music]
you look terrific
yes okay the death of our love lives
okay glad it is Saturday night we have
two single men tonight we will be
painting town red painting I put on
overall stuff no no we will not work
tonight yeah we will go out to hot new
club I hear about and meet beautiful
american ladies yeah let's go
[Music]
Union
must be giving out free toilet paper
[Music]
whoa whoa whoa whoa hold up you guys on
the list uh I believe he's under Mr
Washington
uh perhaps then is under
mr241 coupon at Chase ciao yeah oh
there with us all right come on come on
too much
all right here we go
nice trial but you're not basketball
player excuse me uh I sh**t 30 home runs
tonight yeah homie I am old school
you guys really don't get it you don't
get into this this club unless you're
somebody
I'm crude
all right that's his Pool Boys brother
see you gotta be with the same to be
with the same you know I'm saying all
right
hey I know you're not gonna make this
Steve stand in line
ah come on look at these losers you have
to let the Steve in ahead of them you
wouldn't lose loser ah really a real man
can handle this liquor
that's it it's go time
emphasis
[Music]
thank you
who is causing all this trouble
Shannon Doherty trying to get into my
club again
it was you who knocked out man me no I
did not need little quick man you must
be strong like Hungarian bull Hungarian
I am Hungarian like Hungarian bull yeah
you're a Hungarian I have Hungarian you
are Hungarian I am Hungarian come into
my club yeah you will be my guest
tonight
[Music]
oh God
yeah it is
respect
I have dreams I am dreaming of this hi
what kind of car do you drive well I do
not have a car that is hot that is hot
what do you do I am not always employed
that's also Ed Begley Junior hot oh
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
right here
[Music]
on my tracks congratulations
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
it does not get better than this hey
wanna do a body sh*t I pour the Vodka on
my body and you slurp it off I was wrong
it does not get better than this
very good you should do a contest the
guy who can drink the most vodka wins
five thousand dollars
five thousand dollars that could go to
Anya's college fund drinking to help
child is every parent's dream I think I
can say for sure it does not get better
than this
here
hey my Hungarian stallion I was thinking
with the right hook like yours and the
balls of a man from Budapest how would
you like to be my new doorman would a
dog like to be outside
yeah he would I'll do it
[Music]
Vlad are you okay I am fine I'm here and
soaking in shank bathtub you are mixing
up your rooms again oh will that
explained by chair do not flush
well you are really drunk have you been
training all night for contest yeah I
have been training all night for contest
yeah yeah okay I start my doorman
training today are you going to be okay
I am fine get you here there is going to
be a contest
yeah yeah I heard
[Music]
okay
ah my Hungarian friend are you ready to
learn the ways of a doorman yeah I am
sir good you will be trained by the best
by a man who has worked all the best
stores 54 zeros he'll show you the ropes
these are the ropes they lead to the VIP
stars are taken back here where they
won't be bothered by the people they
have to thank for their success and this
is the even more VIP rule
and this is the m*rder of the idea
is everything secure
are you ready to begin your training
Abraham what has two thumbs and likes to
party this guy hey the 70s called for
you they want their clothes back
give it a try
and party I think the mall is still open
so why don't you see if you can buy new
attitude yeah
okay
[Music]
yeah that's the last one good now my
flaws
faster
good NASA tables I know you say you
would help me pray for drinking contest
but I do not understand how this helps
duh just do
good
restaurant is ready now you can go train
for contest
[Music]
go go go go go go go go go
let's go let's go
[Music]
thank you
you're ready
[Music]
you ready
yeah
excuse me I I know a man who works here
his name is yoshika
I did not recognize you you look
terrific I am here for contest
you are not done list
ah very funny you are good man yeah I am
good doorman so if you're not on list I
cannot let you in yo yoshiko what's
going on man slide right this way good
to see you
Oscar
I am your friend huh could you not let
me in the club
baby I am sorry but you are just not
important enough to get in
Advance job more important than
friendship blood is not personal if I
let you in I lose my job yeah this job
is My Ticket to Ride man do not ask me
to give up the ladies that power to
build that rope
[Music]
if only I was broke
come in come in
[Music]
oh man that is muy for real and to think
after everything you've done for him I
guess I cannot blame him he does not
want to lose job there will be other
five thousand dollar hot catering King
contests what did I just hear you giving
up before you even started expl*sive I
didn't throw away party long it's my
afternoon training you for nothing yeah
we're gonna get you into that contest
how yoshika is good daughter man we will
never get in are you kidding there is
always a way
I ever tell you how I got into this
country I had been planning it for
months
digging under the Rio Grande a little
bit each day
but I refuse to give up two weeks later
I went back to the same spot with the
same shovel and pickaxe set them down
and swam across
oh that's nothing my friend the
Pakistani government would never let me
leave with the nuclear knowledge I
possessed so I needed a disguise
allow the Blessed Beast to cross the
border
oh the gods were with me on that day
that ain't nothing compared to my story
I was looking to get out of Detroit
trouble was bus fare out of town costs
money you know what I'm saying luckily I
found a way to make some quick cabbage
40 dollars a day and all I had to do was
get naked with some foxy ladies
so that's how you escape from Detroit
you slept with women for a few hours few
hours I did it for three months hell
forget about bus fare I waited till I
had enough to buy myself a Cadillac and
drive here yeah Left Behind Some Broken
Hearts that day
you know I've slept with over a thousand
women all beautiful stories but you had
only to cross rivers and mountains and
state lines I must get past the Rope
[Music]
or
this one
she got my main man yo how do they hang
oh they hang really well sir they hang
like crazy
you are too good to stay door menu
forever I am opening up new place in
Vegas and you are going to run it for me
as manager sir you Count On Me
what do you think this one
[Music]
oh I told you to try the cow suit
hey seniors siesta's over this
themselves
[Music]
because I'm Mexican I automatically work
in a kitchen is that it
well you're Hungarian so that must be
that you own a nightclub how does it
feel to be on the other end oh God I
will disguise myself as Mexican man and
sneak into kitchen dude where do you
want to find a Mexican costume at this
hour
hey look a mariachi band and they're
skinny dipping
[Music]
hola amigos
Very Mexican dishwasher see do you enjoy
to eat the tacos as much as I
that Enrique Iglesias sure can't sing
see hey where do you think you're going
essay it's not break time yet not well
there's a pile of plateaus with your
name on it
foreign
[Music]
hey homes take it easy why are you
rushing I am not Russian I am Mexican
it's only five minutes until I drink us
oh no five minutes
slow it down you're making us look bad
in fact how about you take a break and
we'll take care of those dishes for you
oh thank you
break time
can you repeat that no Hometown Saint
Pete Roseburg
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
thank you
[Applause]
[Music]
it's go time Pancho oh contest has begun
[Music]
let me know that one person who can
drink like this yeah my mother she is
dead so it must be
[Music]
[Applause]
that man is not Mexican he is a red
coming Russian and of course his nose is
red he has been drinking Russians are
not to be trusted for 30 years they
ruled hungry they took everything away
they will not let a Russian win my money
get rid of that Bolshevik
[Applause]
I cannot do it oh yes you can if you
want to keep working for me but he's my
friend yeah but you are Hungarian how
can a Hungarian have a rusky friend I
don't know I just do
look every country has good people and
bad people blood is the best Russian
there is and you know what I think you
are the worst Hungarian I quit
now I fire you you fired you cannot fire
me because I have already quit I will
get rid of the kamiroski myself
[Music]
your name is not a list but
[Music]
I'm sorry but I had no no please I am
the one who's sorry friendship is more
important than being cool and you are my
best friend huh you are cooler than any
velvet Rock except like that third one
from the end but none of your cooler
even in there
[Applause]
this is my Club Ruskin and you didn't
win anything do you understand me
[Music]
say something
[Music]
look what you did to my hundred percent
polyester disco sword Prince
that's right
this is good night though
and finally it looks like I'm going to
b*at you at chest
look what I have for you
what Papa what is it it's money for your
college fund for you for college
thank you so much
[Music]
right there
[Music]
what
what's going on
01x05 - Doorman
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Jóska, a Hungarian immigrant in Los Angeles, shares an apartment with Vladislav, a Russian immigrant.
Originally a TV series but never aired, in 2008 it was combined and turned into a movie.
Jóska, a Hungarian immigrant in Los Angeles, shares an apartment with Vladislav, a Russian immigrant.
Originally a TV series but never aired, in 2008 it was combined and turned into a movie.