my forehead is huge I hate my
[Music]
ears choco what the hell am I supposed
to do with this I mean it's bad enough
you're making me fake an ID but at least
give me something I can work with it's
the only Booth I could find you got all
these like high tech Jazzy SCH smazzy
computers in here just take out Mecca in
the pain and it'll work come on wait I
can I can it'll take like 2 seconds the
boss will have my ass for this it's
illegal it's against store policy oh but
downloading p*rn on company times
like all good
right can I help
you um yeah I need to make some posters
well let me see here make me 22 21 is
like so obvious oh I'm not made out of
money
oh
Serena in the comic shop or whatever are
you ever going to ask that girl out I
got to find the right moment right
moment my ass what about now she's like
right over there what no no not now no
way I'm not in the right mindset God
Alex we got a PR job here can you take
care of it he's the expert I just tell
the
place uh
can I help you so you're the expert huh
you might say that this has to be just
right I want the ink blood red not you
know
orang this is uh really cool did you do
do you I I mean are you involved with
this so how many copies do you want Oh
My Bro the sex
machine you see you're going to have a
problem with this one the plastic is
just too thin for New York any common
bouncer will spot this in a second what
you need is a Florida Driver's License
cuz they really are laminated
cheaper US m*llitary this should get you
in a lot of trouble
but it usually works Canadian perfect
but humiliating I hear the best way to
break in an idea is in a restaurant you
know order a lot of food and sneak in a
drink oldest trick in the book works
though what do you say one to grab a
burger I'm
hungry vile yeah meat is so vile I meant
fruity talking vile you guys hear about
the Malaysian place that just opened up
on first I hear they serve fried slugs
Matt come on now that's nasty puke
what's wrong with fried slugs they're no
worse than charred cow or processed pig
guts that's hot dogs to you oh yeah but
hot dogs taste good snails on the other
hand what's the matter are you
scared fru not scared fruity smart um
yeah well whatever fruti I'm not scared
I'd try them how about you Mecca uh no
way what Matt I know you'd eat them nah
I think I'll pass what do you think you
want to check this place out seems like
we're the only ones with any balls
around here I bet you eat those too not
nice not nice at all I'm down how about
Saturday night 9: CL cool yeah I should
be up by them hey is it okay if I bring
my brother along he loves all that weird
and exotic crap she's all like sure why
not oh plus I told you you'd insist on
paying oh Chaka I don't know if I don't
sweat it I made you look good now you
get to go out with Serena without even
asking her you owe me big time oh God I
can't believe what you did do you know
what you did I can't believe what you
did oh my you didn't tell her I'm the
guy from the copy shop did you g of
course not do you want me to ruin you oh
man and after dinner I'll make up some
excuse to cut out and leave you guys
alone genius huh oh I'm going to vomit
what's wrong with you God can't you Chow
on a few fried slugs for the chance to
be with your woman the slugs are no
problem but I I don't know I mean I mean
what am I going to say that's the beauty
part you don't have to say anything
we'll all be too busy gagging to talk
well I mean it's just a little get
together it's not exactly like a a real
dat no I mean it's not like a date it's
just casual right I mean just just a
casual exercise and utter humiliation
Jen I'm okay I can handle it you have
nothing in common with this girl what
can you possibly have to talk about
there's such a thing as universals hello
life makes no value judgments it is up
to us to decide what course of action to
take another
slug I had no idea your brother was
so fascinating and perceptive he is
pretty
cool universals huh yeah you know
philosophy and crap what you babbling
about I can't even believe we're related
you're going to make a total idiot of
yourself and you know it but you're
still going to walk right in and take
what's coming to you there's nothing to
fear but fear itself oh I beg to differ
you could drop food in your lap forget
to put on deodorant that day spit in
Serena's face while you talk you're not
helping here and where you ever got the
idea you'd hit it off with a Vampire is
beyond me for your information she's not
a vampire she just likes to dress that
way oh I'm sorry all pad pouty people
look alike to me plus she's a very
talented zither player which you know
all about and love so much you realize
you're really going to humiliate
yourself hey thanks man I really needed
that positive
reinforcement no problem glad to be of
service stop by anytime good luck on
your
date black holes the common metaphors
linking world religions joke I heard the
other day on Howard St you alone I am so
intoxicated by your charms I feel like
I'm floating fainting or Carousel let us
merge our soul would you like a bread
stick I sure would isn't this Frey it
sure is slby
I am concerned about our situation
follow me and your cares will subside
enveloping womanness awaits
wow you're in 10it are being H Serena
wait I'm right behind you oh no I'm
stuck I'm stuck don't go damn this
sticky discus
goo
ah ah
[Music]
ah damn
stop you no no no
no how's it coming fine fine I hope so
you're you're using expensive paper
there's a there's a customer why don't
you handle it you look like hell oh gee
thanks how come you can never say that
to a girl you look like hell today Jen
thank you you know I think that's the
first time you referred to me as a girl
and not as like the asexual friend that
you have oh you know so how come you
look like death warmed over what are you
trying to appeal to the vampire chick I
told you she's not a vampire she's a
goth she's highend ah highend goth yeah
I mean I I just I woke up last night and
that's why I look like hell I couldn't
get back to sleep it's some big deal
yeah I know I know I've been trying to
get a good night's sleep since puberty
try warm milk and turkey before bed the
trip to fans will put you right to sleep
I mean it's not that it's really nothing
it was just one night one night one
night will that's how it starts you see
but then the next night you want to
sleep even more desperately which makes
it even much less likely and then pretty
soon it's this never ending hell of
restless nights and washed out days like
Night of the Living
Dead the key is to put it right out of
your mind start obsessing and you're
screwed yeah you're I I mean you're
definitely you start to think your mind
starts to go how do I function I mean
will will I ever sleep again what's that
sound oh my God Is there is there a
problem in the house what what's the bed
bug oh my God it's 3:00 a.m. it's it's
4:00 a.m. it's 5 a.m. I can count J you
you know what helps counting back from
100 sometimes works that'll put you
right out but if that doesn't work you
can try the Home Shopping Channel you
know Matlock if you're really really
desperate what's wrong with Matlock he's
crafty I don't know Jak the fat man is
good and when all else fails clean the
bathtub even if you can't sleep there
will be a clean bathtub waiting for you
in the morning all right I appreciate
the advice but this is no big deal don't
blame in when the t*rture begins but
like I said best not to think about it
thanks thanks for your help but I don't
think I'll have any trouble sleeping
tonight
what uh hello hello who's there hey Alex
a hi Jen you awake I'm awake now oh I
can't sleep I finally dozed off but then
the phone rang and sorry I figured you'd
be up and I just had to unload on a
fellow inom Leia brought this guy back
and they are having the loudest sex I
ever heard she's making All These Foo
noises but what really kills me is that
can you keep it down when she was
getting ready to go out she was telling
me all about her date he has a leus not
the lowend kind but the highend kind and
he does some Wall Street job where you
make money when the stocks go up and
when they go down sounds like he could
be the one oh but he has the tiniest
little thing I mean I can hardly find it
remember Jack his was the biggest he had
to wear those Mega condoms or whatever
most guys are in the middle not that it
matters to me since I really don't like
sex very much really but what about all
those noises you make Jen guys expect
that especially if you order appetizers
oh I don't know if I can even describe
his it's kind of like um so she looks
like she's trying to remember how how
you know nonmassive he was and then she
gets a bright idea one of the few of her
life I might add she stares at her
lipstick she takes it and let me make
sure and then she puts it in her
mouth oh yeah that's about
right can you b*at that and now she's
acting all
like oh with Larry lipstick in there and
you should have seen the one she brought
home last week believe this I mean he
she Andy
kidge where did she was that much yeah
hey sounds like they finally passed out
thanks Alex I think I can finally get
some sleep I'm tired oh lucky you I've
been up like 36
hours I'm starting to see things
whatever
bye
better a
rule what you think Mister pretty cool
huh and only two bucks get away from me
get away
oh I know what you're up to you can't
fool
me no not
[Music]
again apple pie with that no
oh just coffee do I know you I've seen
your face some birs it must have been
one of those lists in the post office I
don't think so don't worry about me
sweetie I wouldn't call police on pain
customer maybe I will have that apple
pie good
boy
31 32 33 34 35
36 hey Alex man you look like I should
feel seeing as how I woke up with a new
tattoo next to a girl who looks like ass
and I'm just a little out of it I didn't
get any sleep last night nice sh**ting
Tex I'm happy for you how's it feel to
be a man hey I've had chicks before all
right but no wasn't like that I had
insomnia damn man thought you finally
got some oh well should I make a
separate pile for the
Canadians hey bro ready for the big
night
uh dinner with Serena and the Slugs
remember tonight Saturday damn of course
I know Chaka and there's no way I'm
sorry I knew you'd bail I'm not bailing
I've been up for two nights in a row I'm
sorry I whatever like I haven't yeah but
you sleep all day after all went through
I can't believe you'd blow it you don't
deserve Serena you can stay home with
your fists of Fury we'll eat our slugs
and then maybe the two of us will go out
and pick up some real
men brothers of creation who he knows
them well just the drummer but since
they were in town he felt like he had to
hang out he was pretty bummed so am I
now he's going to pay for dinner oh I
bet he'll want to pick up the tab anyway
he's like
that ah they've got some bizarre things
here this caramelized frog do you think
it's like a whole frog
apparently ladies your Trang Pang
galloon do you prefer them with or
without the heads um which end is the
head oh God
oh uh with the heads
please so I blew it at least I'll
finally be able to get some sleep yeah
probably wait what's that supposed to
mean nothing just don't start obsessing
okay I'm not count sheep don't start
counting all the things you did wrong
all what things I didn't do anything
wrong you know you don't think I'm going
to get another chance with Serena do you
huh admit it admit it
Alex settle down all right okay all
right I don't know I'll talk to you
later all
right hey look at me Alex Hensen
Manhattan's number one loser oh yeah
look at me Constantine BS off I'm
Manhattan's number one
[Applause]
loser not me ah
I got to sleep I got to
[Applause]
sleep hello
hello I know you're from somewhere don't
I I really don't think
so what's with the smile
smile wait a minute the copy shop you're
doing our poster hey this is where we're
having the event event event yeah I know
stupid word just a bunch of freaks
parading around no it's a good
word I mean I've run from normal people
cuz they look so strange M I totally
know what you mean do you do you know
about the Slugs too the Slugs God that's
so weird I ate slugs tonight I know you
and my sister you know you're wow wait
you're chaka's brother aren't we all
chaka's brother well yeah of course we
are but I mean you really are and you're
the guy who knows Brothers of creat
sometimes it feels like there are too
many brothers and
sisters sometimes I feel like a
motherless
[Laughter]
[Music]
child it's true
though
oh
[Music]
God hey you know you owe me 49 bucks for
dinner slugs are
expensive
hey
hello National Merit
scholar
here's a 10 keep the
[Applause]
change and I I was walking and walking
but but this time it was all really
beautiful somehow and and I felt I felt
like I was like like part of it you know
yeah and then and then like I said I was
in this place with Serena and and then
you just woke up in your own sticky bed
no idea how you got there you were
dreaming Alex no no it wasn't a dream it
was dr*gs
no maybe it was a dream damn it I'm late
for work again see you yeah um I should
take off too got to meet a hotti for
anyway sorry you didn't hook up with
Serena maybe next time you won't choke
so bad
lers hi Alex you got home all right
Serena hi yeah I mean that's where I
woke up so I guess I must have hey you
know I had a great time hanging out with
you I had no idea you were a night owl
like me oh are my posters ready oh yeah
I mean no you see I I use too much red
ink on the letter I'm such an idiot W I
like it it's all dreamy and distorted
this is great great here you go I don't
know you know if you're into this kind
of thing but maybe if you'd like to come
you know I didn't know you only dress
like this because you have to I mean
because of your job I thought you were
some kind of geek or something I didn't
realize you had so much weird cool stuff
going on in your head me well yeah I
mean that'd be
great say Friday Friday five sleepless
night that should be just enough time
h
h
[Music]
h
[Music]
01x04 - Insomnia
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American animated series and sitcom on MTV on urban life, based on interviews with real people.
American animated series and sitcom on MTV on urban life, based on interviews with real people.