- fine I thought there was a virtue it
always been cool
I swear they ring that stupid Bell in
the tower like every seven minutes bong
bong bong all those false alarms one day
there's gonna be a real Indian att*ck
and no one's gonna pay attention what's
that with your books Joe it's a
fraternity paddle Wow
cool outstanding then the Indians will
drive us from our native land and then
where will we live the ocean yes
probably just like the Germans not to be
rude ciphered look could you put a cork
in your talky hole while we get to know
Joe's paddle so does this fry it have
indoor plumbing
it's an academic fraternity it's not an
actual house you don't have to b*at
around the bush ain't no shame to living
in a trailer eternities are for tools
hey Sanford isn't that your sister she
doesn't eat in this cafeteria your ID
this is just a beer label wait a second
you're not a freshman right somebody
stop that guy Oh Todd Oh
Oh
huh
dear God look at her I know I can't wait
to be an upperclassman I must warn you
I've seen Karate Kid six times
prepare to be waxed off
looks like Tuesday lunches here look Joe
over there dancing around swinging his
paddle in the air
thingies all miss your fraternity or
something I think Cindy left her shoe
yep
get the zoo I can't believe your sister
lives way out here I've never been off
campus before
hey somebody dropped their couch wow
dude we got to grab this on the way home
it's kind of damp and it smells like dog
pee not dog it's cat and he's not well
your sister lives in her own house yeah
it's like she's an adult or something
yeah I think she wants her bottle
you left your shoe in the cafeteria
yesterday hey you guys got to steal us a
bunch of toilet paper from the dorm why
you mean girls go to the bathroom they
pee on their butts
but that's where babies come out
hey that dudes sitting on our couch what
are you looking at are you guys a
fraternity a fraternity uh yeah sure
we're a fraternity want to join
is this even a good house looks like a
dog what do we have to do well for
starters run uptown and get me some
smokes
is that frat code for streak to campus
with a grape stuck up my ass
no it means go buy me some cigarettes
with a grape up my ass whatever just get
menthol you can count on us brother
that'll be 385 do you have any money I
spent my last 12 bucks on this hat I bet
you nobody has a hat like this well
except the people that go there all I've
got is this check for my parents but I'm
supposed to use it for books if I did
everything my parents told me I would
have taken my insulin this morning screw
you too now remember we've got to be
cool about this so let me do the talking
what up Homeslice what did you call me
Home Slice it's a cool street name like
poop dog or pee diddle or Gary just give
me my smokes and here's the change 96
dollars and 15 cents you should probably
use it to buy books so what fraternity
is this fraternity oh yeah um Tri Delta
Burke tri Delta Burke Wow that's like
the coolest name ever well except for
Cooley McCool the Emperor of cool town
Wow a fraternity well Shaw's um there's
no Burke in the Greek alphabet that's
because it's a fraternity it has nothing
to do with the Greek alphabet
duh do I now I'm gonna go polish my
paddle oh he'll mature
I just mean I need to wax the wood all
right for your next assignment so what
about parties brother Bryce do you guys
have a lot of parties do a lot of girls
hang out up at this house I bet a lot of
girls hang out at this house do they uh
what do you think awesome all right your
next assignment is to clean up all this
junk on the lawn oh you mean like the
house hey if you don't want to be
delta's that's fine
now quit wasting my time I gotta go sit
over there no dude we're totally into it
I asked if they had a lot of fraternity
parties and they said what do you think
it was like what do you think meaning
yes we certainly do have more than our
share of parties implying there were a
lot of chicks it was like don't even
give it a second thought
dude it was like what do you think what
do I'll think about would if you're not
gonna pay attention to what I'm saying
how can you expect me to pay attention
uh uh have you seen Charlie one of my
ELF figurines I'm willing to pay five
dollars to whoever took him hi Todd
how come you ain't in a frat house a
fraternity oh uh I don't know I went to
rush but things just didn't work out
do you have perhaps a pamphlet on this
fraternity that I can take home and
review with my grandparents then for no
reason whatsoever this big gorilla
shader threw me in a filthy pin he fed
me birdseed from a bucket I missed all
my classes had failed several important
quizzes before the police finally found
me
you're safe now old man oh whatever you
do don't go to the Sigma firehouse this
guy schoener he's the biggest psycho on
campus he got kicked off the wrestling
team for biting a gosh nipple off
outstanding cool I'm gonna be like a
shader of our fraternity no I'm gonna be
the schoener of our fraternity no me
ah oh well it's only a figurine this
time you've gone too far
God I'm coming after you I will kick
your ass
how sorry Bienen fraternity is gonna be
great when we get our paddles it's gonna
be the second greatest thing I own
what's the first I just said that so I
don't upset cont why wow your dog seems
to poop an awful lot we don't have a dog
what
cool that was cool my smokes went down
there don't worry I'm getting for you
I got it dried out the Berk house almost
have the wrong house
I was looking for price yeah Brice is a
delta no Brice is definitely not in a
fraternity
he hates fraternities oh you think you
know Brice huh well what's his first
name
Brice and where does he live right here
fine you win this round
Brice hey he's just joking with you here
why don't you go memorize this pledge
book sure are a lot of brothers in this
house Callaghan
Callister captain Tony's pizzeria wow we
have a pirate in our fraternity doesn't
this seem a little weird to you what do
you mean well for one thing we've never
even seen this pirate guy at the house
dude they're nocturnal say I missed you
fellas in class today but don't worry I
got you covered I photocopied all my
notes
just keep this in mind when I come
through rush but if I it's not enough I
also got a strong recommendation from my
old friend mr. Lincoln oh damn it stop
hammering sure okay you like the party
don't you brother McAdams I can just
tell someday I'll be telling my
grandchildren about you and then there
was brother McAdams now he was the
original wild man huh one time he stole
the dean's horse and drove it on the
back of his motorcycle down Main Street
this was back or not three before the
cyber monkey wars but I'm going on and
on and you're trying to sleep go to
sleep my sweet little angel
you rest your head on the pillow drift
away to a magical land and dream of cake
you know that'd go faster with a roller
do you have one nope don't believe in
him I don't care how much he cleans that
fat kid has got to go
but he's building us a hot tub on the
roof you'll be enjoying this hot tub in
no time and by that I mean at no time
will you be enjoying this hot tub uh our
national called and said we can only
take one pledge this season you're
kicked out of the fraternity but you
can't hey my hands are tied it was that
pirate wasn't it he's hated me since day
one
pirates make me so mad ah
fine we don't need this house there are
plenty of other fraternities in the sea
we're out of here let's go matey Adel we
want you to stay
and here's your fraternity paddle
congratulations wow thanks Rubbermaid is
that my nickname sure there must be some
mistake how could they take down not me
I'm clearly the cooler one I should have
worn this hat more drink Katya was drink
drink drink
ha ha ha carry on
Sigma Phi that looks like a fraternity a
sweet fraternity oh my god he is
unconscious on Shana's car Shaina is
gonna be pissed
Shaner this guy shader he's a monster
he's the biggest cycle on campus but I
would like to kiss him because I'm like
a big woman hey don't make me say that
huh too late no running I should have
gotten that paddle he's clearly not a
Rubbermaid I'm a Rubbermaid hey um you
want to go to the cafeteria for dinner
I'm kind of busy I'm expecting some
important calls from other houses that
won't be pretty bad in our fighting over
me but it's 70s theme night they're
serving biscuits and groovy all right
hey Dale I heard you made the cut at the
frightened Sanford didn't looking Kiki
Kiki you want a sip of my soda pop or is
this my spit can I can't remember
it was so deep op-eds mortuary you k*ll
him we Chilam get cake that's just a
sample of the wit and humor you'll get
from brother ed Bickle price that's a
Turkey's name hello
the basements flooded they need someone
to swim down and reset the circuit
breaker but what about dinner
sorry
I got you into that fraternity you know
I made you Rubbermaid
Dell thinks he's so cool now like that
hotshot movie star with the perfect hair
what's his name
carrot top what did knob the same thing
happened to me when some guy took my
spot on the baseball team but I got him
back when I told him our first game was
against Alaska when he drove up there
from the game they'd let me back on the
squad
Nikki dinki really hey that gives me an
idea
okay pinky okay now stop giggling so I
can tell it to you hello hello Dell this
is Bryce from your stupid fraternity huh
huh oh I've got another assignment for
you
go to the Sigma Phi house and bring me
the eyebrow of Randy Shan er Shan er
yeah can Kiki let me try hey this is
also bras don't screw it up supreme
articles okay
oh mercy
the laughing part my belly's hurt
something fierce Edie whatever happened
to that guy you sent up to Alaska not
much he was mauled by a grizzly so I
married his wife but then I had it
annulled because I found out she'd been
married before hey Todd
that schoener guy isn't really so bad is
he oh he's a monster
more animal than man there's not a day
that goes by that I don't beg God to
return my nipple it's because of that
that I can't get a girlfriend oh god
what have I done
where are you going to the Sigma Phi
house to save my friend Sigma Phi oh no
don't do it he's gone man
let him go you'll make new friends maybe
me for instance
do you like Hanson buddy you gotta learn
to play hard-to-get
no running why doesn't anybody listen to
me I'm only the Dean of the school for
God's sake shut up you shut up
del Sanford could you deliver this
eyebrow to Bryce for me that's not good
Oh could you give me some glue here I'll
get you down oh that hurts
try something else I'm gonna have to go
in I wouldn't if I was you
hi where's my fat-ass going oh my god
he's in the sound effects room oh he's
out get him
Oh Hey look over there
someone who needs to be pummeled because
they're different he's going in shaders
room what are you doing I'm saving you
douchebag
cheater
Shaner you pumped it jus many times
it'll break the skin
okay where the hell does dudes go
we've been bowling by this guy long
enough
ramming speed
I'll show myself to the pit
I've decided joining a fraternity is
more trouble than it's worth
yeah but at least now I know how to
build a hot tub and I know how to get
dog crap out of the carpet see and you
wanted to spend that check from your
parents on books yeah that was pretty
stupid huh that's okay that's what we're
here for to learn on the next three
South I have this penny but I'm gonna
put it on the train tracks then I'll
sell it for two pennies then I'll just
repeat the process until I have more
money than Jesus ah Jesus
you think you're such a fat cat you're
going down
amen three self themed songs you just
heard was created by the Flaming Lips
you
01x06 - Fraternity
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Show revolves around two lifelong dim-witted friends, named Sanford and Del and their misadventures at the fictional Barder College.
Show revolves around two lifelong dim-witted friends, named Sanford and Del and their misadventures at the fictional Barder College.