01x04 - The Childhood Friend is Easy Mode

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Romantic k*ller". Aired: October 27, 2022.*
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One day, a wizard claiming to be a "love cupid" named Riri appears before Anzu Hoshino, a high school girl who has no interest in romance outside of video game characters.
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01x04 - The Childhood Friend is Easy Mode

Post by bunniefuu »

[beeping]

[sighs]

[groans]

[moans]

Yah-hoo!

- Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay!
- [Tsukasa] Hey.

- Woo-hoo. Woo-hoo.
- [Junta] Um...

Your friend?

Great question.

The name's Junta Hayami,
we're childhood friends.

Did... Did you sleep here?

This is my friend, Kazuki. Funny story,
he has a string of back luck,

so he's gonna be crashing here
at my place for now.

He's... crashing here?

Yeah, it's a really long story.

- I'm just gonna go.
- [Riri giggling, cheering]

Yeah. Sure.

[groans]
I forgot my bag.

Hmm.

[sighs]

[Tsukasa] He's tall.

[Junta] He's really good-looking.

[theme music]

- [grunts, roars]
- [yells]

#4 THE CHILDHOOD FRIEND IS EASY MODE

A victory!

[grunts]

[groans, yells]

- Hey! Explain yourself, you devil!
- [Riri] Wait! I'm Riri!

Your helpful wizard friend, not the devil!

You're no friend of mine.

And what's with that guy out there?
He keeps saying we're childhood friends.

Reuniting with a childhood friend.

Another classic romance scenario.

ROMANTIC THRILLER

[Riri] The two of you grew up together.
You were inseparable.


Before you know it, those feelings
of friendship turned into sparks of love.


- ...the problem here.
- Let me take a look at it.

What? I don't remember having a friend
like that, especially one that's so cute.

Well, his name is Junta Hayami.

And you've been besties
since elementary school.

But it's a lie. It's not true!

Junta's the hottest rookie
on the school's baseball team this year.

After being separated
for three long years,

you've been reunited.

[Anzu] That's an oddly specific backstory.

I haven't even told you the best part yet.

Junta's had a secret crush on you
since elementary school!

Don't do this to him!

[Riri] Do you get it? All you have to do
to win the game is accept his feelings.

I call it Easy Mode in Romantic Thriller.

You call this "Easy Mode"!

Just go away, devil.

Now, begone, evil spirit!

I've already told you
I'm not the devil or an evil spirit.

How did I end up
in such a ridiculous spot?

When you think about it,
it's not all that ridiculous.

Having a crush on your best friend
is a classic scenario.

Hey, stop putting
these dumb thoughts into my head.

You're cute when you're embarrassed.

- Who you're calling cute?
- [groans]

[footsteps]

[Anzu] Crap, what was his name? Jun... Jo...

- [Riri] You mean Junta?
- [door closes]

Yeah, he's been out there
for a while now, hasn't he?

Oh, don't worry. I took care of that.

He's in his own scenario, see? He's been
chatting with you this whole time.

- Kirarin!
- [Junta] Uh, sorry.

I'm not all that familiar
with t*rture methods.

[Anzu] What the hell
were we talking about?

I got to say I was surprised earlier.

I swear I don't usually
talk about t*rture.

It wasn't about that.

It was Kazuki.

[Anzu] Kazuki? What about him?

Look, I think it's great
that you're helping a friend

out of a bad situation,

but it's rude of him
to put you out like that.

Put me out? Nah, doesn't bother me.
The room was empty, anyway.

Right, but... you sure it's a good idea?

I mean, how well do you really know him?

[Anzu] Seriously, I know a lot more
about him than I do about you.


No worries. Kazuki's not great
at first impressions, but he's a good guy.

Besides, he's got so many fangirls,
he's totally over the whole scene.

[Junta] I see, well, okay.

I guess if your parents were cool
with him staying at your place,

then I shouldn't be
too worried about it, either.

[Anzu] Maybe you should try
worrying less about him


and worrying more
about yourself there, buddy.


MIND CONTROL BY THE DEVIL

[sighs]
This whole thing is my fault.

What?

Uh, nothing, really.

[wind whooshing]

- [grunts]
- Hey, what's going on in here?

- This wind is so strong.
- Are you okay?

[grunts]

[Anzu] Yeah.

- [Junta] Anzu.
- [Anzu] Huh?

[dreamy music]

- [heart thumping]
- H... Hey...

Just hold still.

- [thumping continues]
- [weak moan]

[Junta] You've got...

a Hercules beetle stuck in your hair.

What?

[screams]
What the...

What is that thing? It's freaking huge!

- [Junta] Quit squirming.
- [Anzu] Ah, no, no, no, no. Ah!

- [Junta] Oh, it's really tangled in there.
- [Anzu] Hurry up! Get it off me!

[Junta grunts]

Ta-da!

SINCE IT IS UNSIGHTLY,
WE'VE CONVERTED IT TO A CREPE.

Oh, gross! Get it away from me!

- Get rid of that thing!
- Uh, uh...

My bad. Sorry.

[exclaims]
Look how big this one is.

I'll bet you it's worth
at least a hundred dollars.

One hundred?
That ugly beetle's worth that much?

[buzzing]

Stop it!

Catch it!

- I think I can still reach it.
- [pants]

Incoming!

It's gonna hurt.

[yells]

[gasps]
Anzu!

[buzzing]

I... got you.

[pants]

Um, nice catch. Great reflexes.

Oh, thanks. Just glad you're okay.

[Anzu] Ugh, damn it, Junta.
Why do you have to be such a great guy?


Uh...

What?

[Junta] It's just that beetle
really messed up your hair.

What? My hair?

You want me to fix it?

Um...

Could you?

[Junta] You know,
I remember in elementary school,

the kids used to call you
"Frizzy" and "Annie"

because your hair was so red and curly.

[Anzu] They implanted
that memory, too. Devil!


I remember.

Ryuya and his friends used to call me that

because I constantly b*at them at games.

Hey, what was that one video game
you used to play all the time?

Cat Ranger?

Yes! Cat Ranger! Oh, that was classic.

It was such an obscure game,
but it was so much fun to play.

[Junta] So, what sort of games
are you playing now?

Well, recently, they were all confiscated.

Huh? But what happened?

[Anzu] I keep asking myself
the same thing!


How is it going back there?

Uh, sorry, guess I'm not
so good with my hands.

[Anzu] Not good with his hands?

- [Saki] Anzu!
- [both] Huh!

Good morning.

Hey! Morning, Saki.

Hi, Junta. How are you?

Morning.

- [Anzu] Saki knows Junta?
- [giggles]

That little devil got to her, too!

Anzu, do you want me
to help you with your hair?

You wouldn't mind?

That would be great.

[birds chirping]

[Saki] There. Perfect.

You're the best.

You know what? You should start
wearing scrunchies. You look so cute.

[laughs]

Junta, your thoughts?

Me?

[exhales]

Yeah.

[Anzu shrieks]
What's with that face?

Oh, thanks.

- She totally asked him on purpose.
- [giggles]

Well, Junta's actually a really nice guy.
I wasn't sure what to expect


from my mysterious childhood friend
showing up out of the blue,


but it's kinda weird how comfortable it is

- just hanging out with him and Saki.
- She screams so loud.

[Anzu] It almost feels like
we really are old friends.


[laughter]

- [Makoto] Tsukasa.
- Hm?

Morning. Happy to see
you're heading back to school today.

Whoa, did you get a new phone?

[Tsukasa] Yeah, can't do anything
without one, so...

- [Rena] Tsukasa!
- Huh?

I can't believe
you just abandoned us like that yesterday.

And to make it worse,
you totally ditched us

- for a girl from another class.
- [sighs]

Wait! Were you really with a girl?

That's different.

Trust me. She's just a friend.

[gasps]
You got a new phone?

Here, let's exchange our numbers.

- I think I'll pass.
- What...

And find someone else to follow around.

No way! Meanie.

Would it k*ll you to be a little nicer?

If I'm not plunged, she won't learn.

Oh, let me get your number.

- [Makoto] You're really gonna call?
- [Tsukasa sighs]

[groans angrily]

[school bell dings]

[Makoto] Whose bright idea was it
to put PE before lunch? I'm starving!

Same. Looking forward
to a home-cooked lunch.

- You always cook for yourself?
- Yeah.

[Makoto] Well,
since you're already making food,

how about you make a little extra for me?

- [Tsukasa] No.
- [Makoto] Doesn't hurt to ask.

[Tsukasa] I'm already making two lunches.

There's a quiz in Math.

[gasps]

Hello.

[Tsukasa] Hm.

Hold up. Do you really know Junta Hayami?

Do you know him?

Only the star rookie
of our baseball team this year.

There are rumors that he'll even go pro.

[Tsukasa] I didn't realize Hoshino
had such a popular childhood friend.


How could you not have heard of him?

He's out on the field practicing
almost every free period there is.

Plus, he's tall and good-looking, too.

Don't be jealous.
You're just as good-looking.

- I am not jealous of that guy.
- [scoffs]

- Did you stand us up? Hey.
- Man!

He's gonna be crashing here
at my place for now.

He's... crashing here?

You said you don't wanna date
anyone right now, right?

Oh, great! 'Cause me, too.

Yeah, we'll see.

So, hey, what do you guys know
about that guy? His name is Kazuki.

Oh, I thought you knew him.

No, I just met him this morning.

I've heard of him.
I think he's in Class 7.

I always hear the girls
whispering about him.

So he's pretty popular then.

What? Does that make him your enemy?

He's popular and smart.
He's placed top ten in the midterms.

[Junta] Top ten?

[friend 1] That guy's
on a whole different level.

- [friends] Agreed.
- [sighs]

[team manager] What's with this
slow march down the hall?

Mind if we join?

Oh, hey, guys, look who it is.

Hm.

Do either of you know Tsukasa Kazuki?

Kazuki? You mean
the really hot from Class 7?

Did you know he's friends with Junta?

Jealous!

Well, more like a friend of a friend.

Uh, question. If he asked to,
I don't know, sleepover at your place,

would you guys let him?

- Oh, my gosh. Yes, of course, I would.
- Mm-hm.

[team manager] Then we fall in love
and live happily ever after.

I figured.

[friend 2] What's up?
You're just as popular as him.

- Hell yeah.
- Hell yeah.

Don't deny it, we all saw you flirting
with that cute girl you grew up with.

You even walked her to school.

Flirt? No, Anzu's just an old friend.
That's all it is, though...

[friends] "Though"? Though what?

- I mean... Never mind.
- [friends grunting]

[Junta] They're right, though.
Anzu is really cute.


Her hair, her smile...

No, I can't be thinking this stuff!

Hey, uh, is that really helping anything?

[birds chirping]

I'm sorry, Anzu.

I've got a broadcast club meeting
during lunch today.

Yeah, um-hm, it's all good.

- Bye!
- [Anzu chuckles softly]

[classmate] It's really him,
the hottest boy in Class 7.

Hoshino.

[Anzu] Hm?

Come here.

What?

[Saki] Wait. Are those two friends now?
I am so curious.


Ugh, but I'm gonna be late.

[grunts]
You mixed up our lunches.

Yeah, sorry.
I'm not really a morning person.

- [Makoto] Hey, what's up?
- [Tsukasa] Hm?

Tsukasa.

Wait, is that...

Hmm.

Lunches?

She helped me out yesterday
when my place flooded. That's all it is.

Whatever you say.

[Anzu] It's not untrue.

DOESN'T SUSPECT A THING

- Keep this quiet.
- [laughs]

I got you.
Don't want your fans overreacting.

And you are?

I'm Anzu Hoshino.

How's Hosshi sound?

I'm Makoto.

So this must be the girl
Rena was talking about, huh?

What? Not me.

[Makoto] She said
Tsukasa ditched her for you.


[Anzu] Oh, right.

Well, let's go.

This is the perfect place for lunch.

Right, Hosshi?

Oh, okay. Makoto's great.

- He's this nice with everyone?
- Yup.

In case it comes up,
I told them I was staying with family.

[Anzu] Got it.

[light music]

[Makoto] Not fair! That looks delicious.
He refused to make me lunch.

[Tsukasa] Just returning a favor.

Kazuki is a great cook.
He's way better than I am.

That bar's set pretty low.

How about you come over and teach
my mom and sisters how to cook?

Oh, you have a lot of sisters?

Wandering the house in robes, hair a mess...

It's completely jaded to me
when it comes to girls.

[laughs]

Got to say I'm a little jealous.
I'm an only child.

You've got a sister. You know what I mean.

Oh, I didn't know that.
You've never even mentioned her.

[Makoto] Hey, let's see a picture of her.

I don't have one.

Hm. Makoto, is that all
you're eating for lunch?

Heck, yeah.

[gasps]

Chocolate!

CHOCOLATE CORNET

[Makoto] You want some?
I'll split it with you.

- Really?
- Way to be cool.

[Makoto] Here, take as much as you want.

- [Anzu] Uh, thanks...
- [Riri] Denied!

[screams, cries]

You okay?

Fine. Just remembered, I'm on a diet.

[Anzu] I can't believe I just said that.

A diet? Since when?

I get it. Nothing to be ashamed of.

Hm?

Rena, check it out.

- No joke...
- [Makoto] Yeah.

...you should have seen his face.

- Hilarious!
- [Makoto laughs]

[school bell dings]

[indistinct chatter]

[Anzu] Time to head home.

And be bored out of my mind
without any of my games to play.


Guess I could start
looking for a part-time job.


- [Rena] Hoshino.
- Hm?

Got a minute?

Sure?

I'm looking forward to
an afternoon without practice.

Wanna hit the arcade?

Wait, you probably wanna catch up
with your girlfriend, don't ya?

- I told you she's just a friend.
- Yeah, whatever.

Call it what you want, but we know
you want to hang out with her. Go on!

Thanks.

Hey!

[both chuckle]

- You're right.
- Hm, oh...

Junta?

If you're looking for Anzu,
I think she went home already.

Oh, really? She must have missed my text.

You can try calling her.

I've got to run out
to a meeting now. Sorry.

Cool. Have fun.

- Anzu is such a lucky girl.
- Um-hm.

Surrounded by hotties.

[both gasp]

- Hm.
- Hm.

Hey, hang on. Have you seen Anzu?

I can't seem to get a hold of her.

No, I haven't.

Okay, sorry to bother you.

- [Tsukasa gasps]
- [Junta] Huh?

Hm, I found her. This way.

So, uh, you wanted to talk?

I don't think we should be here.

- It looks like a private conversation.
- Hm.

Tell me something.

Do you have a thing for Tsukasa?

What?
[gasping]

Not at all. We're just good friends.

Oh, really?

You say that but you totes have a crush.

No, that's not true.

Do you expect us to believe

you could be just friends with him
when he's that hot?

Of course I do. Believe me.

I am not interested.
I have no interest in dating Tsukasa.

Or anyone else, either.

So you've got nothing to worry about.

My desires are set on
much more important places.


LIFE

What if I was going after him?
It's a free country, you know.

- You're right.
- Mm-hm.

[Anzu] That was easy.

[Rena] So...

Will you help me get his attention
since he's your friend?

You need help?

Duh!

No matter how many times
I ask him out, Tsukasa always says no.

We thought you could set them up.
What do you say?

- [Anzu] Uh...
- You're the best.

- Here. Take my number, okay?
- [phone tapping]

[Rena] Talk soon.

[sighs]

[Rena] Be sure to ask him his type, okay?

[gasps]

I'm so over it, seriously.

I'm not interested in dating.

[exhales deeply]

Sorry, can't.

[both gasp]

Huh?

[Rena] Excuse me?

Kazuki told me
he's not looking to date right now.

Out of respect for my friend,
I can't help.

[exhales]

[Junta] She's so cool.

What? Seriously?

[Anzu] Crap. Is she mad?

- [girl] Anzu!
- [sighs, gasps]

Hey, there you are!

I've been looking everywhere for you.

Huh?

[Anzu] Who's she?
Oh, come on. Not another one.


- Are you ready to go home?
- Uh...

Oh, yeah, were you able to find Junta?

He's been looking all over for you.

[growls]

[Anzu] What's going on? Is she supposed
to be another long-lost friend?


Anzu, you never told me
you were hanging out with these two girls.

They're only the cutest girls in Class 7!

[both] Huh?

- Cute! Long lashes!
- Oh...

That pixie nose, and your hair...
You are just so pretty!

T... Thank you!

Wow, such a great figure!

You've gotta tell me

the secret for making
your boobs look so thick.

- Wha...
- It's not easy to make little boobs

push up so high and natural like that.
How do you do it?

- I'm super impressed!
- Hey...

[girl] You can tell me. I get it.
I'm self-conscious about mine, too.

But with yours, you worked magic,

they look like a full C cup,
not like Anzu's at all.

[Anzu] What? Is she saying
I can make mine look like that, too?


[girl] I'm so jealous
of your push-up C cup size!

- So huge!
- C cup?

Lovin'!

So perky!

That's enough already, give it a rest!

But I don't think Kazuki
is the kind of guy who'd fall for that,

so you really don't have to work so hard.

[groans]

You are rude!
And you're wrong about everything.

Let's go, Yukka.

Coming.

[Yukika] Yeah,
I knew they couldn't be real.


Another job well done! Mm-hm!

[gasps]
Wait a second.

Your cutesy little baby voice.

Your ultra annoying blunt way of speaking.

That oddly familiar star
hanging on your bag.

- [Riri] Kirarin!
- [Anzu] It's you!

- The devil!
- You're wrong.

No devil. Riri.

[Anzu] You're a girl now!

- [giggles]
- [Anzu groans]

A fanfare, please!

And a big congratulations!

Did you fall for my little trick?

I bet now you don't feel like
skipping the ending, right?

In today's world, you can watch
whatever you want at your own convenience.

But don't you think in that process
we've also lost something?

[sighs]
Don't just let things be! Come on!

Let's go on a super-duper happy adventure!

So I can make sure I get paid.

[closing theme music]

♪ Ah, yeah! ♪

♪ Let's go! ♪

♪ Lo-love! ♪

♪ Here we go! ♪
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