03x05 - Rolling with the Enemy

[bunniefuu]

[Lauren]
'That was so weird that Justin
just left you'

'at that barbecue last night.'

[Audrina]
'I think I kind of overreacted.'

- I don't think you did at all.
- You don't?

Actually, I left my helmet
there last night.

Will you be needing the helmet?

Probably.

I mean, it's one of those things

where it's up and down,
up and down, up and down.

When is it gonna stop?

I mean, it's been going on for
two years and it hasn't stopped.

Do you think
it's gonna stop now?

I'm surprised Heidi and Spencer
didn't pop in yesterday.

I guess Brody and Spencer
are kind of drifting.

Oh, my god, they're gonna be
pissed when they find out

we were hanging out
with Brody yesterday.

Well, I guess that's
what happens.

I can tell Brody's like, trying
to be cool about it, but...

My, how the tables have turned.

[instrumental music]

- Deb.
- 'I'm coming. I'm coming.'

Ciao.

Are Lauren and Brody
going back out?

I saw them this weekend.

I mean, last time I heard

they hated each other, so...

It's a little funny.

And it's pretty weird.

- Deb.
- 'I'm coming. I'm coming.'

You know that tonight we have
a party for Chelsea soccer club.

- Chelsea football club.
- "Chelsea football club."

'They're the, one of the biggest
soccer teams over there.'

They are doing an expo game
with the galaxy

which just brought
David Beckham here

so it's kind of a big deal.

'Heidi, I want you to do
setup, check-ins'

'and, um, get
that stuff organized.'

[instrumental music]

Let's not go back yet.
Let's sit down.

- I know.
- 'It's so nice out.'

What'd you do this weekend?

I was home for a little bit

and then I came back

and I went to the beach,
pretty much.

We went to Brody's barbecue
in Malibu.

- Was it fun?
- It was fun.

But Lauren got really emotional

'cause we were talking about
how hard it is

to find good friends
in LA, and like

good girlfriends in general.

And she started thinking about

when her and Heidi were
such good friends.

We were sitting there
on the couch.

Like, it's night time
by this time.

And then she went in
the house real quick

and she came back out
with my helmet.

She's like, "Justin left."
I'm like...

- He just peaced out?
- "He just left."

And I started crying.

That's not something you
would usually cry about.

No, never. I've never cried
over a guy in my life.

Never.
And then I called him after.

I was like, "Well, you should
have called me first.

Like, I'm the one
calling you first?"

I got all emotional and was like

"How can you just leave
without saying bye?

I'm done, like, I can't
deal with this anymore."

- Final straw.
- I've said that so many times.

I just, it's like,
I'm on this roller-coaster ride

with Justin, and it's like
highs and lows and, like...

I like him, and I don't like
him, and it's just...

Whatever.
Roller coasters are so fun.

[laughing]

[Spencer]
'Uh-ho, most beautiful
businesswoman in town.'

- How was your day?
- Now it's better.

Mmm, a little lip gloss.
Thank you. Thank you.

[sighs]

Um...

Brent said that he saw
Brody and Lauren together.

That's like hell freezing
over to me.

'To each their own.'

Well, good for them,
they need each other.

[instrumental music]

[indistinct chattering]

Wanna hear something
kind of funny?

I went to the bathroom.
There's three sinks.

So, I'm standing there,
and there's two other girls.

And all of a sudden,
one of them looks at the other

and there's a moment

and they start
full-on making out

hands in the hair, making out.

Who makes out in a public
restroom with another girl?

Lesbians.

Beautiful girl.

♪ Suicidal ♪

You had me what?

Two-step it, baby.
Two-step it.

Hey, listen, you know, what we
need to do, listen real quick...

Sunday, this Sunday,

I'm there every Sunday.

- Whoa!
- Sorry. Oh!

That's party mode, baby.

- Yee-hee!
- Okay, so, I wanna come.

'You need to be there.'

'What?'

Oh!

We're going back
to the condo tonight.

Okay? Let's get out of here.
Let's go.

She's coming with me, playboy.

Spencer you got to realize
something real quick.

We're always together.

Come on.
Let's get out of here.

[instrumental music]

Okay, next one is a navy dress

with brown lining and
red lining, as well.

What brand is it?

"April May."

That is not on here.

It's not?

Okay.

'Were you out last night?'

I was.
I went to Les Deux.

- That's fun.
- 'Yeah.'

Lily McNeal, pink shirt.

Oh, I did find it.

- Okay.
- Is that it?

'Yeah, alright, I found it.'

Brody and Frankie
were there, too.

So we all just sat together.

- Oh, that's nice.
- Mm-hmm.

No Spencer and Heidi?

No, because Spencer found out

that Brody had been
hanging out with me

'and now he's not returning
Brody's phone calls.'

That's a little, um, immature.

But you know what?
It happens.

Me and Heidi
were best-best friends.

That's true,
but you guys didn't end

being friends because
she was hanging out with someone

you didn't necessarily like,
you know?

That's exactly why we stopped
being friends.

Yeah, but Brody's not
dating you.

He's like, you guys are friends.

I mean, it's probably
just a momentary tiff.

Ah.

I love that word "Tiff."

Did you know my name
was gonna be Tiffany.

Or Crystal.

[laughs]

Crystal?

Could you see me as
a Tiffany or Crystal?

Tiff.
Crys.

Cryssy.

- Crystal.
- Crystal.

[laughing]

[instrumental music]

- 'Audrina?'
- 'Yeah.'

[Lauren]
I have a wardrobe question
for you.

Yes?

Blue or the black

with red lips?

I like the blue.

Where are you going?

I am going to dinner
with Justin.

- You look cute.
- Oh, where are you going?

We're going to Toi.

I'm sorry, we're in your way.
You're getting ready for a date.

'No, I don't care.'

Is he gonna be here soon?

'Yeah, he should be here soon.'

Is he coming up?

No, he's like...

"I'm gonna call you
and just come down."

Wait, have you seen him
since the barbecue?

No. Well, I've talked to him.

He wants to take things
super slow and evolve and, like

become best friends before
boyfriend and girlfriend.

Haven't you been dating him
off and on for two years?

How long have you been dating
him recently for?

- Like four months.
- Oh.

He should probably be your
boyfriend by now.

[honking]

Hello, there.

- How are you?
- Good, how are you doing?

Nice to see you.

Let's go.

[rock music]

♪ Get me down now on my feet ♪

I haven't even
started drinking yet.

Hi.

♪ Settle me ♪

I think you got to do the, uh...

- Rice with a fork.
- Yeah.

Are you full?
You're full, huh?

I ate that Chinese food earlier.

Why did we even go to dinner?

'We're hanging out, and we're
getting to know each other.'

- Oh, I know you.
- No, you don't.

Sometimes you surprise me

but I get the gist of it,
you know?

The gist of it?
Am I that easy to figure out?

No, well, I mean

think of how long
we've known each other.

I can't see any other way
but to take it

slow and be cool,
you know what I mean?

Like how slow is slow for you?

It's not a matter of like,
how slow, how fast.

It's just like, for me,
putting statements on things

I'll be gone, like,
I don't like that.

It's just...

Like the whole
boyfriend-girlfriend label?

It's...

Like with my friends,
like Lauren and everyone.

They go,
"What are you now?"

Who cares?

I don't like the fact that

things get in your ear
or my ear, like

"Are you guys boyfriend
and girlfriend, like?"

Who cares?

Like, why do they care?

It actually pisses me off
because

when something's working,
you don't go...it up

by throwing labels
or doing stupid...

By throwing a ring
on your finger

because society
or friends said.

So, you know what?

...them.

Literally.

I don't give a...

[guitar music]

[rock music]

♪ So where do we go
on our last date ♪

♪ And where do we sign
on the last page ♪♪

[cellphone ringing]

- Yo, what up?
- 'Yo, bro.'

Dude, I've called you
like five times.

Like, why you're not returning
my phone calls?

I really have
nothing to say to you.

Oh, you're mad at me?
What are you mad at me for?

'Cause I've been hearing about
who your new little

best friend is,
and I don't respect that.

Dude, if you are mad at me

for hanging out with Lauren,
that is ridiculous.

'Since, like, how long have we
been friends for?'

'I'm not gonna have an enemy
just 'cause you hate her.'

That's just not who I am.

[Spencer]
'You can make excuses,
excuses, this and that.'

I care about loyalty,
and you have none of it.

Dude, I don't have a problem
with you, you know that.

It's like I love you, we've
been best friends since kids.

'It's like I don't have
a problem with Lauren either'

so I'm not just gonna
go around hating Lauren

just 'cause you hate Lauren.

You are rolling around
with my enemy

so that makes you my enemy.

Do you not see how that works?

This is like
I feel like I'm back

in high school
with this, I mean...

How long have I been
friends with you?

I got nothing to say to you.

Little bitch.

[music continues]

[instrumental music]

Are you guys checking out dudes?

- Yes.
- Oh, I want to play.

- 'What about that guy?'
- 'Okay, homeboy is not cute.'

[Lauren]
'I don't know what you're on.'

First of all, I can see ribs.

I like a little meat on my man.

Hey, silly willy.

So, tell us, tell us about
your big date with Justin.

- Oh, yeah.
- 'I don't know.'

[Audrina]
It doesn't seem like he wants to
be boyfriend and girlfriend.

- Wait, are you or aren't you?
- Exactly, it seems like...

He doesn't want any labels.

It's something that I have
to get used to

'and I don't want to
be oversensitive.'

You weren't being oversensitive,
he's being overass.

Who knows? I'm just gonna
give it a rest for a while.

[instrumental music]

[indistinct chatter]

Is that your surprise?

Can we come in?

Oh, surprise!

Hi!

Oh, excuse me. Oh, sorry.

I'm taking you out, too.

- I called you yesterday.
- Did you leave a message?

Don't be calling my lady, dog.
You better watch out.

Oh, that's your lady again?
Huh?

Maybe 'cause of that sleepover.

Yeah, what sleepover?

Lauren had been drinking,
and she...

Oh, don't try to act,
oh, shut...

What?
Did you want me to drive home?

- 'Okay!'
- 'Shut up.'

It was a friendly sleepover.

It was.

Spencer got mad
'cause you came over

the other night to the condo.

- So?
- Spencer broke up with me.

Why is he mad?

The thing is,
what I said is like

or what I tried to say to him,
but he hung up

on me before I could even
say it, but, like...

That's between you and Spencer.

I'm sorry.

He hung up on me and said

I had no loyalty to him.

I don't care that
you hang out with them.

Oh, you shut,
you roused me before.

I'll rouse you,
but I wouldn't be like

"Oh, I'm not talking to you
anymore, Brody."

Him and Heidi is just,
I guess they're just

inseparable and that's all
he needs right now.

- That's what I feel like.
- Aw!

I got him on the rebound.

- Oh!
- Frankie.

So now me and Frankie, uh,
started dating.

[laughing]

[Heidi]
'I have a fun activity.'

Fun activity, what is it?

You can help me fold laundry.

I'm working here, darling.

- Excuse me?
- But I would, uh...

Mentally, I'm here for you.

Thanks, I appreciate
the mental help.

No worries.
Moral support.

So, I'm having breakfast
with Jen Bunney today.

Jen Bunney breakfast.
I bet that will be exciting.

'I feel like we've kind of
just grown apart a little bit.'

I don't know, like...

We always hung out with Lauren
type of thing.

Jen's not talking to Lauren,
is she?

No, but I feel like
she just let

Lauren do the same thing
she did to me.

You know, she got so mad at her.

The whole thing
is just so ridiculous.

What do you say just you and I

go to Don Antonio's tonight
for dinner?

Alright, I'm gonna go
to breakfast.

I'll call you later.

Hi!

Uh, just water for now.
Yeah.

- Hello!
- Hi!

- How are you?
- You look so different!

- Good to see you.
- What are you doing?

Uh, you know...

- I'm so hungry.
- Have you ordered yet?

What has been going on?

Everything! What about you?

You know, same old, same old.

So, have you not been
going out at all?

No. Not really.

Are you not friends with, uh...

Frankie and all them anymore,
or are you?

I mean, I was never really
friends with them.

Yes, you were.

Only because that was
Spencer's friends.

I never hung out with them
before that, you know?

Is Spencer still friends
with those kids?

Um, I don't think
Spencer and Brody

are really like,
friends anymore.

Spencer and Brody?

'You know what happened was'

Brody was saying things
about Lauren.

I can't hear you.

Brody was saying things
about Lauren?

So then, he starts
hanging out with her.

And Spencer's like,
"You know what, dude?

He's like
where's your loyalty?"

He's like, you know
who spread all those rumors

is Brody Jenner.

It's like
and she's hanging out with

Brody Jenner as her new friend?

We don't know that, though.

I do know that.

I-I never...
I wasn't the one.

- How would I know?
- How do you know that?

Because I heard him
say things about it.

But that's their relationship,
you know?

It's just sad
how in the past year

so like, so many
of our close friendships

'have just like disintegrated.'

Like, this time last year,
you know, like...

Like me and Lauren were having
the best time of our...

like, having so much fun.

Then maybe you'll be
friends again.

'You know what she said to me
when we were fighting?'

She's like, "You know that I

"don't want to be friends
with you right now.

You know that we need
our space right now."

And I was like, "Yeah,"
she's like...

"But if you ever needed me

"really needed me at 2:00 a.m.
in the morning crying

you know I'd be there
in a second."

Well, if you talk to her,
tell her I say hello.

Do you think that you would ever

like, be friends with her again?

It's funny how one...

It's just funny
how things happen.

You know?

I don't really care.

Yes, you do.

[instrumental music]

[guitar music]

[theme music]