06x01 - Put on a Happy Face

[bunniefuu]

- Last season on the hills...

- Hey!
- All: hey!

- Okay, I admit I have my own
way of doing things.

- I think you should come back
here--

Right here, and come talk
to me like that.

But justin seemed like fair game
to me.

- Are you a single man,
or are you dating?

- I'm single.

- How--how single is single?

- Even if audrina was mad
about it.

- You're selfish.
You're self-centered.

All you care about is yourself.

- Justin and I decided to give
it a sh*t anyway.

- I wanna have fun with you.

I wanna do things with you.

- But that didn't work out
at all.

It's, like, last night,
seeing brody and justin,

Like, I have more fun
with brody.

I feel like we've just
completely grown apart.

- You think you tried to make
our little thing work 100%?

- Heidi and spencer's married
life was anything but perfect.

- You knew I wanted kids when
you married me.

So it sounds like marrying me

Was the biggest mistake
you've ever made.

- And heidi felt something
needed to change.

As for the rest of the girls,

They invited me to miami
for super bowl weekend.

But I was about to learn
that with this crew,

Everyone has their own idea
of fun.

- Hi.
- Hi!

How are you?

- [Sighs]

Just had an aa meeting.

- Yeah?
How was it?

- I just--i can't believe
I'm doing this all over again.

I mean, seriously, like,

I'm only 23, and I've been
to jail twice.

Like, that's not normal.

- After the dui, you're on...

Probation now, right?

So are you allowed to...
Go out with us?

- You're basically asking,
am I grounded.

- Yeah.
- No, I'm not grounded.

- Um, so I was talking to brody
and the guys,

And they have made plans to go
to miami for the super bowl.

And they wanted to know if we
were going.

Like, if we wanted to stay in
the same motel.

- [Clapping]
- I know!

- Wait, who's gonna go?
You, me, audrina...?

- Kristin.

- Really?
- She's our friend.

- Okay.

- At least she's trying to be.

Even audrina is like--

Was on board with kristin
coming.

- Are you kidding me?

- I know, they're kind of
getting along.

- I've missed so much.

- I know.

- My brother's still not
talking to me.

I haven't seen heidi and spencer
for months.

- There's been some talk about
heidi...

And a new face.

This is all hearsay.
- Okay.

- Eyebrow lift,
ears pinned back.

- Wait.
- Nose job, chin job, boob job,

- Wait.
- Butt job.

- Butt job?

- Butt job.

- Liposuction?

- No, like a...
Like a bigger butt.

Like a--like a little junk
in the trunk.

- Wait, how did--how do--
how do you add--

- I don't know.

- ♪ It's a game ♪

♪ She's to blame ♪

♪ But who's keeping score? ♪

♪ You can tell by my grin
that I've done this before ♪

♪ So let the games begin ♪

- Heidi, I really don't think
this is a good idea,

You getting on a plane
to colorado.

You need to stay here where
I can take care of you.

- I know.

But I just haven't been home
in a while,

And I didn't see my mom since
the wedding.

And I think she was a little

Hurt not knowing
about my surgery.

So I just kind of feel like
I have to do this.

- Well, heidi,
I'm gonna come with you.

- No, spencer, you're not gonna

Come with me.

You and my mom don't get along.

- Well, dear,
your mom is a

Very tough woman.

- I completely agree.

And that's why I want her to see
how great I look

And how happy I finally feel.

- But you are so unbelievably
naive,

It's--it's just--it's sad.

- I mean, that's enough.

I don't wanna
talk about this anymore.

And we're gonna be late, so.

- Okay.
- Okay?

- ♪ Even as we get older ♪

♪ We can do it all over ♪

♪ Make our own plans and score
the music to our own lives ♪

♪ Looking into the future ♪

♪ There is more room
to move here ♪

♪ Invincible as we score
the music to our own lives ♪

- Audrina and brody are still
out there.

- Doesn't kristin have, like,
a thing for him,

But she's not like,
really...talking to him?

- I mean--

- I mean, it's obvious.

- I feel like kristin tries
to play it cool.

- Absolutely.

- But she's always had
a thing for him.

- I'll be bummed if audrina
and brody hook up.

Everybody's getting along,

And that would just
piss kristin off.

- Totally, totally.

I guess we just see
what they do tonight.

But it's not the end
of the world, you know?

- ♪ As I lay awake ♪

♪ They're singing softly ♪

♪ Forever calling me through ♪

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

♪ I sing softly ♪

♪ I'm coming home to you ♪

- Thank you.

[Doorbell rings]

- Hi, mommy!

- Hi, honey.

- Hi!

- How are you?

Are you all fragile?

- Yeah, be careful
with everything.

- Don't touch anything.

- Hi, you.
- Come--come in.

- I didn't know you were
gonna cry.

Oh, mama.

- Hi.

Oh, it's so nice to be home.

- It's so nice to have you home.

So how are you feeling?

- What, you act like I have
a new face or something.

- [Laughing]

That's pretty much what it is.

It takes a little
getting used to.

- Yeah.

- It's very weird,
and very awkward.

I'm sorry, I'm just a little...

- It's okay.

- So how're you feeling?

Are you happy?

- Yeah, I'm feeling
a lot better.

- I can hardly hear you.
Why are you talking so soft?

- I can't talk a lot louder,

Because my jaw
is kind of locked up.

- Hm.

- Um...

- What all did you have done?

- I got--i got a slight
eyebrow lift,

And that's why I had
these staples in my head.

- Is that permanent?

- Yeah, it's permanent.

- They're not gonna come down
a little?

- No.

I had my nose redone.

I had my own fat injected
into my cheeks.

I had my ears pinned back.

I had injections in my lips.

I had my chin shaved down.

I had my breasts redone,

And my back shaped.

And then I had a little bit
of inner and outer lipo done.

- [Sighs]

You risked your life

To do the things that you did.

- Mom, there's brain surgery
every day.

There's huge surgeries
that are--

- You had an elective surgery

That was completely
unnecessary.

- To you it was unnecessary.

- I just feel like
that when you left home,

You had more confidence
and more self-esteem

Than any person I'd ever met
in my life.

- Well, you know growing up

I used to put water balloons
in my bra,

And I always wanted big boobs.

And you know,
it's not anything new.

- You said you want bigger boobs
than you have now?

- I actually wanted bigger

Ones but they couldn't fit in.

- It sounds to me like you

Wanna look like barbie.

- I do wanna look like barbie.

- Why would you wanna look like
barbie?

To everybody else that saw you,

You were heidi.

Nobody in the world could've
looked like heidi montag.

- Are you telling me
you don't think I look good?

- Maybe you should rephrase
the question.

- No, do I look good?

- I mean, how do I go
and say that of course,

I thought you were more
beautiful before?

I thought you were younger,

I thought you were
fresher looking,

I thought you were healthier.

What's done is done.

So that's a terrible thing
for me to say.

But yes, that's how I feel.

I felt that you were much more
beautiful before.

And I'm hoping that some of this
will fade away and go away.

- [Scoffs]

[Sighs]

You don't have
to support it,

Or think it looks good.

But you have to realize
what I've been through.

And you have to realize that

I've been through so much pain.

And coming here and having you

Attacking me...

Is just really hard.

And I understand

That you don't support it.

I understand you're upset
and you're disappointed.

But mom...this is what I chose,

And there's nothing
that I can take back.

- Cheers to friends.

Everybody getting along.
- To friendship.

- I know.

Can't believe it's so much fun.

- I know.

- Cheers.

[Knocking]

- Oh, it's open.
- Oh.

- You girls look so beautiful.
- Hello.

- Little intimidated right now.

- Look at you all.

- Who's ready to rage?
- Yay!

- To us all still being here,
being friends.

To best friends.

Let's go rage,
regardless of what happens.

Ah!

- Let's go.

Brody's out of his mind.

- ♪ Lights, camera, action,
action ♪

♪ Lights, camera, action ♪

♪ Let's go ♪

♪ Lights, camera, action,
action ♪

♪ Pump up a little ♪

♪ Pump up a little, yo ♪

♪ Let's get up
look around ♪

♪ Everybody see
what's going down ♪

♪ Ladies in the back ♪

- All right, let's take a sh*t.

Let's not [...] Around anymore.

- Who wants a sh*t?

- ♪ Let's get up look around ♪

♪ Everybody see
what's going down ♪

♪ Brothers on the side ♪

♪ If you're on the wall ♪

- Where's jb?

- I haven't talked to justin
in a long time.

- Who are you seeing?

- No one.

[Fiery pop music]

- ♪ So many quick clicks flash ♪

♪ I hardly see ♪

♪ All the people think they know
what's best for me ♪

♪ I think it's time
we switch direction ♪

[Overlapping chatter]

- All right, let's take a sh*t.

- Drama. Drama, drama, drama.

- ♪ I'm not going home tonight ♪

♪ I wanna rock out
till the morning light ♪

♪ And if the police come
and shut us down ♪

♪ Then I'll be back again
tomorrow for another round ♪

- Hey.
- Hi.

[Giggles]
- uh.

- How are you feeling?

- My feet are so tore up

From dancing, and...

- Mine too, I have band-aids
on mine.

- I won't even wear heels
tonight, I can't.

- Wait a minute.

Audrina, like, why did just you

And brody go to the bar?
Like, what was going on?

Was he, like,
trying to woo you still?

- All those boys
are super flirty.

Everyone.

Especially when they get drunk.

- What time did everybody
go home?

- Probably about 5:00.

- What?

At 5:00?

Crazy woman.

- Miami's so different than l.a.

Everything's open all night.

- I know, all night.

- So what's the deal
with tonight, though?

- I don't know if I'm gonna
make it that late tonight.

I can't even speak, so.

- We should maybe just do
something mellow tonight.

Like, we can hang out
at the hotel or something.

- Yeah.
- Yeah, that would be fun.

- Mm, yeah.

[Upbeat pop song]

♪ ♪

- Yeah, I think we should toast
to...

- To a new heidi.

[Laughing]

- How does it--how does it
make you feel,

Now that you're starting to
become this person

That you wanted to be?

- I feel better than ever.

'Cause as dramatic
and crazy as it was,

I couldn't be happier
with the results.

- Yeah, your face
is more structured.

It looks like it's tighter,
or like you're frozen, or...

- Plastic?

- Cold--well, I wouldn't choose
to use that word.

- But don't you think
it's so weird though,

That you were always, like,

So outgoing and so confident.

And I was envious

Of the confidence that you had.

I don't know what happened.

- Thank you.

Yeah, I think that I
just wanted

To be happier.

And I couldn't fix
who I was being upset

With how I looked
on the outside.

- I would like to see
the choice made

To deal with the insecurity
on a psychological level.

- And that's great for you.

And you live in the mountains,

You don't live where I live.

So it's two different worlds--
- does that make a difference?

- Of course it does.

- So should you not live
in that area?

- I don't wanna get into this
right now.

I really don't.

- I'm just having a mature,
adult conversation

With a brilliant,
articulate woman.

- Mm-hmm.

- With a very sore jaw.

- How's that burger?

- I can't really chew it.

- Do you want me to put it
in a blender for you?

Enough.

It's gone too far.

- This--this is frustrating.

So what do we do?

Do we keep waiting,
or do we go out?

- No, we've already been
waiting, like,

An hour and a half.

- She's the one who wanted
to stay in tonight.

- What has she been doing
for the last eight hours?

- Here's the thing,
I have no problem saying,

"You ditched us this weekend."

- Yeah, we were supposed to be
here together, girls weekend.

Get to know each other,
hang out, and become closer.

- I mean, she obviously got mad
when you and brody

Went to the bar together
at the maxim party.

- Brody's the one purs--
trying to pursue me.

- Absolutely.

- And for once,
the guy that she wants back

Doesn't want her back:
he wants me.

And that--she doesn't like that.

- Exactly.

- It's so weird,

It's, like,
up and down with her.

It's a roller-coaster, you know?

- I mean, we all know why.

You see her every morning and

She looks like--
her eyes are bloodshot.

She looks like [...].

Do you know what I mean?

Like, hello!

- Oh...dr*gs?

- Mood swings--yeah.

- I know, I just think for me,
personally, like,

I can't be around
that kind of a person.

- Yeah.

- Because of where I am
in my life, with the dui.

And she's just a liability.

- No, none of us need to be
in a space

Where there's dr*gs
and there's crackheads, like...

- I don't know,
I just think something's wrong.

I don't know.

[Sultry pop music]

♪ ♪

- ♪ Is there a perfect world? ♪

♪ This just seems so
much worse ♪

- Kristin.

- Kristin.
- Hm?

- We have to go to the airport.

- [Grumbles]

- We have to leave
for the airport.

- Let's do it.

- What time did you get home?

- Where have you been?

We haven't seen you in one day.

- Oh, I hate you guys
so much right now.

Why do you guys look all cute?

- We didn't go out last night,

Yeah.
- Really?

- No.
- Where'd you go?

- Everywhere.

- This room is a mess.

- Yeah, it's disgusting.

- It, like, smells in here.

- What time did you guys
get home?

- I have no idea.

- Was it light outside?

Or was it dark outside?
- Oh, no, no, no.

The sun was still--

Well, the sun
hadn't come up yet.

- How tired are you right now?

- Pretty tired, yeah.

But I'm not the only one
that's on this page.

I think everybody else is.

- I mean, I feel fine.

- Cool.

- Who are, like, the friends?

- Yeah, where did they go?

- I don't know, they, like,
bolted out of here.

- I think we all just came to

Make sure you were coming home
and, you know.

- Not letting you miss the
flight.

- Well, thanks.
Well, all right, let's go.

- All right.

- Okay.

- Hey, are you guys really

Sitting in here
just talking [...]?

- Not talking [...].

It's just, like,
what's wrong with you?

- What's wrong with me?

- How do you stay up until 8:00
a.m. Every single night?

Like, I'm in bed by 4:00--

- I wasn't up until 8:00 a.m.
Every single night.

And even if I was, so what?

- I mean, I don't know you
that well,

So I'm not gonna sit here
and keep dwelling.

But we are worried about you.

- Me not hanging out with you
last night isn't like,

"Oh, screw you guys,
I don't want

Anything to do with you."

- Kristin, like, people
are saying things about you.

- Oh, really, like what?

- I mean, do you really
want me to say?

- Yeah, lo, go ahead.

- I mean, everybody's saying
that you're doing dr*gs.

- Oh, my god.

- Kristin, your legs are,
like, tiny.

You're wearing sunglasses
all day.

- Stephanie, you just woke me
out of bed.

Of course I'm gonna put
sunglasses on.

It's been a rough couple
of days.

My legs are tiny?

My legs have always been tiny.

Like you're one to talk.

Don't say anything.

- I'm--how am I one to talk?

- Because you clearly have
an issue with alcohol.

And I'm fine.

So don't come here and att*ck

Me and start talking
[...] On me.

- I mean, bottom line, kristin,

Like, we're leaving at 4:00.

If you're not down there,
we're going home.

But we wanted to wake you up,
okay?

- All right.

- [Scoffs]

- ♪ Beginning to feel like
the end ♪

♪ And I don't know why ♪

♪ Watching the sun race around ♪

♪ As it blinds my eyes ♪

♪ I never dreamed that the world
would be flying by ♪

♪ Chasing the minutes again ♪

♪ As they go we cry ♪

♪ 'Cause back in wrong time ♪

- I wish it wouldn't have been
so difficult.

- Yeah, I think it was a lot
for me to come out.

I thought it was too soon,
and maybe it was.

- We all love you and miss you.

And pick up the phone
and call mom.

- Okay.

- Thank you so much for coming.
I love you.

- Thanks, dad, I love you.

- [Sighs]

You ready?

- Yeah.

- ♪ It's the the conversations
in your mind ♪

♪ It's the times
we never even tried ♪

♪ It's the conversations
in your mind ♪

♪ It's the times
we've never even tried ♪

♪ And the con--
I know you wonder why ♪

♪ 'Cause now it comes the time ♪

- I just so much appreciate your
coming, you know?

I had no idea how fragile
you were.

I had no idea, physically,
what you had gone through.

And hearing over the phone
was a lot different

Than seeing it in person.
- Yeah.

I think I've had enough
for a while.

- ♪ It's the conversations
in your mind ♪

♪ It's the times
we've never even tried ♪

♪ When they're gone
I know you'll wonder why ♪

♪ 'Cause they're all we got
in time ♪