01x03 - att*ck of The 5½ Ft. Geek/Doom With A View

[bunniefuu]

[Jenny]
♪ 5:00, get a call
to go blading ♪

♪ At the skate park
down by the mall, ♪

♪ But my mom says ♪

♪ I gotta prevent
hostile aliens ♪

♪ From annihilating us all. ♪

Hyah!

♪ With the strength
of a million and 70 men, ♪

♪ I guess I really
shouldn't complain. ♪

♪ Still, I wish I could
go for a walk ♪

♪ Without rusting
in the rain. ♪

♪ It's enough
to fry my brain. ♪

♪ So welcome to my life
as a teenage robot, ♪

♪ The story of my life
as a teenage robot. ♪

♪ My teenage robot life. ♪ ♪

[Bell rings]

All right,
settle down.

Get your midterm projects
out and ready for grading.

[Sheldon]
sheldon lee, you've outdone
yourself once again

With your 1/4 scale
die cast alloy figure

Of fandom's favorite
superhero.

Captain crush.

You're sure to crush
the competition.

Oh, captain, if only
you could fly.

Heh, heh,
heh, heh.

We can make him fly.

Captain,
my captain.

Swoosh

Boing

Sheldon, we got
to talk shop.

Shop homework,
that is.

No problem.
I've got it right here.

You see,
your pop can lamps are all--

Gimme.
Done.

I even put heavy-duty batteries
on them in the event

That you want to swing them
around in a reckless fashion.

Heavy duty, eh?

Heh, I like the way you think.

Really?

No!

The craftsmanship
on this weld is impeccable,

But whose project is this?

[Jenny]
project?

That's my knee.

Sorry, miss.

What can I do
for you?

I have a minor injury.

And I went to the school nurse,

But she sent me here.

One of my screws
is coming loose.

Hmm, is that a regular
or a phillips?

It's a jenny,

Like the rest of me.

Can you help?

Sheldon should be able to.

[All]
wee!

Wee!

As soon as sheldon's
through with his buddies,

He can fix you up.

Here, here, over here,
toss one to me.

Excuse me.

I need to speak
with the young man

You're terrorizing.

Me, me, toss one to me.

As I was saying,

I have a screw loose.

No kidding.

Do yourself a favor
and get out of here.

Help.

You say something?

Huh?

What the?

Umph.

You all right?

Uh-huh.

[Clanking metal]

Excuse me, sheldon.

I have to go unplug
somebody's socket.

[Crashing]

So, sheldon, can you
give me a hand?

[Heavenly music]

♪ ♪

Uh, sheldon?

A little help?

Wow.

That was easy.

You're just like
captain crush,

Only better.

You're a girl.

[Bell rings]

Well, there's the bell.

If I could just
get my...

Hand back.

Well, thanks so much
for your help.

Hope to see you around
sometime, bye.

Bye-bye.

I mean, wait up.

Wait up.
Wait up!

Can I walk you
to class?

Because i, er, um,

I want to make sure
that the repair holds up.

I guess so.

Great.

[All whispering]

Hey, jenny, what's the name
of your new pet?

[Crowd laughing]

[Girl]
can I take him
for a walk?

[Crowd laughing]

Gee, will you look
at the time?

I'm going to be late
for class--gotta motor.

Wow, nice set.

[Coughs]

Of wheels.

[Motor roaring]

[Wheels squealing]

Vroom

Wah!

I never got to say
thanks for saving me.

So, um,

Thanks.

[Girl]
♪ jenny's got a boyfriend. ♪

[All]
♪ jenny's got a boyfriend. ♪

♪ Jenny's got a boyfriend. ♪

♪ Jenny's got
a boyfriend. ♪

Don't you have a class
or something?

I'll see you later.

Jenny.

[All]
♪ jenny's got a boyfriend. ♪ ♪

Class, this is neither the time
nor the place.

Please wait
till after class

To ridicule jenny
about her boyfriend.

[Laughing]

[Scary music]

[Bell rings]

[Cheering]

Okay, jen, just get your
backpack, and we're home free.

Here you go.

Thanks, sheldon.

Sheldon!

Hi, jenny.

What do you--
how did you--

Why would you--

[Sighs]
never mind.

So, uh, jenny, what are you
up to this afternoon?

Uh, well, gee, i--

Beep beep beep

Xj9.

Mom, thank jobs.

What is it,

A bank robbery,
grand theft auto?

Give me the good news.

There's trouble in town.

The--

Hello,
who's this?

Large cranial capacity;
thin, gangly frame;

Sun-deprived skin.

I approve.

I wholeheartedly
approve.

Mom, could we stay focused
on the crime fighting?

Oh, dear,
it's nothing too important.

It's just
the lonely hearts club g*ng

Up to their mopey mischief.

I shall hate to ruin any plans
you may have with--

Good-bye, mother.

Aw, jeez,
look at that.

Duty calls.

Way over there,

Crime in progress--

That kind of thing.

Wow.

Clunk

What a girl.

[Horns honking]

Sploosh

[Man]
she loves me not.

That's the story
of my life, boys.

Ours too, boss.

This world can be cruel
and heartless, boys.

It's up to us to spread
the misery around.

This one's for lucy.

Sploosh

This one's for greta.

Sploosh

[Man]
for terry.

[Man]
for mary.

For charlotte.

You never dated
charlotte.

Oh, yeah.

It's for the best.

She would have
dumped me anyway.

[Jenny]
all right, boys.

You've broken enough hearts
for one day.

Sploosh sploosh sploosh

How ironic: I finally get a girl
to chase me.

And it turns out,
I don't like it.

[Jenny]
well, I can't say
you're my type, either.

But I'm happy to have you
in my arms.

I don't know, toots.

It looks like you're
already spoken for.

Hey, jenny,
check this out--not this.

This is just me getting off
my motorized bicycle.

You know, you kind of caught me
right in the middle

Of my crime fighting here,
sheldon.

I know, and I was
thinking about that.

So I whipped this up
at home.

It's a teflon net
deployment system.

Sheldon, I really--

See, instead of chasing
after the bad guys,

You just point and fire,
and the job's done,

Leaving you extra time for,
like, say,

Gulp

Dating.

[All]
aaww.

Look, diedre, even the robot
girls have boyfriends.

Love is in the air.

See, you just point and--

[expl*si*n]

Look at them, boys,
snug as two bugs in a rug.

It's the thought
that counts.

Teflon net
deployment system?

What a loser.

[Man]
you coldhearted fiends.

You've ruined
my entire inventory.

Every tuxedo clashes.

Did any of you boys
get to go to your prom?

[All]
no, boss.

I didn't think so.

So the lonely hearts
want to dance, huh?

I'll show them
a move or two.

[Sheldon]
you're not going in there

Empty-handed,
are you?

Hello, sheldon,
what took you so long?

I know, I know, I know, I know.

You're still upset
about the net thing.

But let me make it up to you
with a paralyzing beam.

Uh, I'm really more comfortable
with mom's homemade one.

Yeah, figured that.

Jet-powered
roller skates?

Right, forgot
about those.

Sound cannon?

Not into heavy metal.

Hmm...
I know.

Here it is.

It's an anti-stumble
devi--

[Fires]

Zap

Zing

[Wobbling]

Whoosh

Vroom

Those skates really have
a kick to them, huh, jenny?

Jenny?

[Man]
well, well, well.

[Sheldon]
help, help!

I'm ruined.

Finis.

Through.

[Horn honks]

[Man]
are you open?

[Man]
fate is a fickle mistress,
my friend.

Each day, we court her favor.

But with one spin
of the wheel,

She can turn your whole
world upside down.

You may end up having
a horrible factory accident

Or fall into a vat
of boiling chocolate.

Or maybe you'll suffer

From a really,
really bad paper cut.

Any way you slice it,

There's slim chance
you'll end up happy.

Hey, boss.

Lover boy still plays
with dolls.

You leave
captain crush alone.

He's got nothing
to do with this.

Hey, look, boss,
I can make dolly fly.

Leave him alone,
I said.

You see, it's the things we love
that end up destroying us.

Just like the robo girl
will be destroyed

When she comes
to save her boyfriend.

[Echoing]
boyfriend

Boyfriend!

Aahh!

Jeesh, what did I say?

Look, I'm only
going to say this once.

[Electricity buzzing]

Sheldon is not my boyfriend.

I don't even know him.

He's just some crazy,
loser stalker geek.

He's not my boyfriend.

He's not my friend.

He's not my nothing!

[Breathing heavily]

Ouch.

Sheldon,
I didn't mean to--

I think you've
said enough, miss.

I told you
fate was cruel, kid.

But don't worry.

That's what the lonely hearts
club g*ng is for.

And the day you graduate,
you're a member.

Now, you'd better
get out of here.

You're not going to want to see
what we do to your girlfriend--

Uh, robot--

To that teenage robot.

[Ominous music]

♪ ♪

[Drum b*at]

[Chains clanking]

Wow, sheldon, you were amazing.

You saved my li--

Sheldon?

[Sobbing]

[Rapping on window]

Captain crush.

You can fly.

[Jenny]
I had my mom fix it.

She added an anti-grav gyro.

I hope you don't mind.

No, that's cool,
I guess.

I, uh, never got the chance to
say thanks for saving my life,

So thanks.

Maybe we could
hang out some time.

As friends.

Friends?

Friends.

Wee.

[Sighs]

[Wind blowing]

[Suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

There it is:

His battle flag.

In the name of skyway patrol,

I, commander bradicus maximus,

Claim this flag--

[Tuck]
uh, uh, uh, maximus.

No touchy, touchy.

Splat

[Laughing]

A direct hit!

Dirty trick.

Just wait till
I get my hands on--

Dream on, commander.

You'll never take
fort tuckonderoga.

This fort is impervious,
impregnable, un-siegable,

And un-seizable.

This fort can withstand
dinosaurs, mack trucks,

Termites--

This fort
is awesome.

Those walls must be
three feet thick.

And you can totally see
our house from up here.

Uh, excuse me, I said this fort
was impreg--

Oh, cool.

What's that over there?

Impregnable!

First rate work, tuck.

Very nice, very
solid construction.

A few reinforcements,
a little camouflage,

And this will make
an excellent fort brad.

Fort brad?

You mean fort tuckonder--

[Tutting]
who is the older
brother here?

You are.

Who's wearing an authentic
skyway patrol commander helmet?

You are, commander.

That's right.

And according to the rules
of snowball w*r,

Which you signed,

I outrank anyone
in a peter proper stocking cap.

But--but it's so cozy.

When it's your turn
to wear the helmet,

You'll be in command,
but until then,

Ten hut.

I want to see this fort
camouflaged by 01200.

Let's move out.

Hut, two, three, four.

Hut two, three, four.

Excellent job, private.

This camouflage gives us
the element of surprise.

And the new stockpile of
snowball weapons technology

Will allow us to take on
any opponent.

Sir, I have
a question, sir.

Speak freely, private.

Uh, who exactly is the enemy?

Aha.

Excellent question.

Pay attention, soldier.

There's your enemy.

Note the hardened
battle chassis,

The radial
targeting system.

Yes, sir, she's one
bad mamma-jamma,

So we must remain vigilant.

Aha.

Brad, tuck.

Yoo-hoo.

Where are you guys?

Hello?

We have the element of surprise.

Man the a*tillery.

They've got to be
around here somewhere.

Ready?

I'm getting weird readings.

[Brad]
aim.

Oh, wait.
They're right behind me.

Fire!

Hey, guys.

Splat

Uh-oh.

She's still standing.

More firepower.

Clank

Fire.

Splat splat splat

Fire.

Whoosh

[g*nf*re noises]

Fire, fire, fire!

[Explosions]

Cease fire.

Secure your ordnance,
private.

[Scary music]

[Together]
aahh!

Pow pow pow

[Explosions]

Retreat, retreat, retreat!

Victory is yours,
generalissimo jenny.

As commander of fort brad,

I request surrender
with honorable terms.

And you shall
have it, commander.

You and your men
fought bravely.

[Laughing]

[Tuck]
hey.

What about my fort?

Aw, c'mon, tuck.

Lighten up.

There's plenty of raw material
for a new one.

But it took
hours to build.

And that's not even counting the
landscaping and interior design.

C'mon, it's just
a snow fort.

As your commander,
I order you to get over it.

Gee, I'm sorry, tuck.

Yeah, so am i.

[Man]
i, too, am sorry.

I am sorry for xj9,

Sorry that she is forced
to live amongst humans,

Sorry she is not queen of this
puny planet like she deserves.

We are the cluster.

And we feel your pain.

I am but a humble emissary
sent to extend to you

An invitation,

An invitation to join us
on our home world,

Cluster prime.

Yes, cluster prime,

A paradise planet where robots,
cyborgs, and yes, even androids

Live in peace and harmony,

A planet where all robots
are free,

Free to pursue lives

Dedicated to science,

The arts,

The enslavement
of the human race,

And the consumption
of soft-serve ice cream,

Which we call cluster.

Domo arigato,
mr. Roboto.

[Laughs]

Domo arigato.

Wow.

An all-robot planet.

That does sound pretty great.

And the whole enslavement
of the human race thing,

Not so much.

Here's your answer,
bugface.

I'll never join the cluster.

Alas, xj9,
you have saddened me,

For I was not programmed
to accept no for an answer.

[Lasers zapping]

Resistance is futile, xj9.

[Metal clanging]

The name is jenny.

Clank

[Metal rattling]

Swoosh

Please reconsider, xj9.

I'm not good at dealing
with rejection.

Zap zap zap

[Metal clanging]

[Metal rattling]

Swoosh

Still you refuse.

I am afraid I must insist.

[Blades grind]

[Metal grating noises]

Skritch

Snap

[Metal clanging]

Vroom!

[Sighs]

You've always got
to squash the head.

Stay here.

And don't touch anything.

Wow, robot versus robot:
how cool is that?

Totally.

That cluster drone was all
"brrr, rut, tut, tut, tut."

But then jenny was all,
"vroom, vroom, vroom."

Hmm.

You know, tuck,
with all these parts,

We could make our fort 100 times
cooler than the last one.

But jenny specifically said
not to touch--

Ten hut.

Who is the older
brother here?

You are, sir.

And who is the ranking officer
while jenny is away?

You are,
commander, sir.

That's right; now, I want to see
these walls going up.

I want to see this
robot fort shine.

I loves the smell
of robot in the morning.

Hold the fort,
what's this?

A leftover.

You keep working.
I'll go get it.

Hmm, I guess the snowballs
could go on that side.

Or maybe the snowballs
over there

And then the credenza
on that wall.

But in that case,
I'll have to move the big carpet

Into the breakfast nook.

[Crashing]

Tuck, what do you think
you're doing?

Hey, tuck, what's up with that?

Brad, help.

Man down.
Man down.

That fort was great
the way it was.

Put it back right now.

No, brad, wait.
You don't understand.

[Electrical sizzling]

[In robotic voice]
this mind is puny but it will do
until I am complete.

Quit kidding around, tuck.

Silence, mortal.

This human brain has some
specific memories of you.

You are not the boss
of me now.

H-h-hold on a sec, there,
tuck, little buddy.

Aren't you tired
of playing army?

How about we play
a nice game of dominos

Or gin rummy
or ch-chinese checkers?

Silence, soldier.

We have ways of dealing
with deserters.

Build me a snow fort.

Another snow fort?

Give me a break, tuck.

You can't make me build--

You will do it,
and you will like it

And make it a nice one
with plenty of closet space.

[Whistling through air]

Clank

Ah, much better.

But what's this?

Oh, yes, the earthling
companion.

Xj9 seems fond of you.

Perhaps she would
like you as a pet

Once she relocates
to the cluster home world.

[Burps]

Mm, delicious.

Hey, humpty dumpty.

You're pretty good at putting
your pieces back together again.

Let's see how you do
re-assembling your molecules.

You sure you want
to do that, xj9?

It might not be too comfortable
for your friends.

What are you guys
doing in there?

Jenny, jenny, wait,
I have an idea.

I can't believe you two.

Didn't I ask you
not to touch anything?

So a truce, xj9?

Shall we shake on it?

[Metal clanging]

Jenny, come back.
Come back, jenny.

Oh, good,
you're back.

Now, listen.

No, wait, jenny.

Listen to...

Me.

What are you doing, tuck?

Keep your head down.

You could get hurt.

Let jenny
handle this.

She's a highly-trained
superhero.

She can take care
of herself.

No one ever listens to me.

Do not worry, xj9.

On cluster prime,
you will be treated like a hero.

And your friends--

Well, your friends,
not so much.

Cluster prime?

But I don't want
to be a house pet.

Collars give me a rash.

You know,

I learned all kinds
of interesting things

While I was one
with the robot.

Here's one tiny tidbit:

He's got an off button
right on his back.

[Ominous drum cadence]

Uh...

[Laughs weakly]

Ha, ha, ha.

Boo.

Aahh!

[Electricity sputtering]

[Metal creaking]

Crash

Tuck, it worked.

The drone is paralyzed.

You did it, tuck.

You defeated the cluster.

Wow, nice going, tuck.

I knew you had it in you.

Now, tell me how to open
the escape hatch

So we can get out of here.

You know how to open it,
don't you, tuck?

You know all about this drone,
right, tuck?

Tuck?

That's commander tuck
to you, private.

Uh, tuck, what are you doing?

Can we save play time
for after we're out of here?

I guess you don't want to get
out of here very bad.

Do you, soldier?

Ha, ha, very funny.

Now take off my hat.

This?

This is the spoils of w*r,
you traitor.

Traitor?
Listen, tuck.

That's commander tuck.

[Brad]
you listen,
you little grunt.

You'd better
stop fooling--

[Tuck]
insubordination.

You'll be court-martialed
for this, private.

[Sighs]

[Rock music]

♪ ♪