03x09 - Fire!

[bunniefuu]

- Previously on "Below Deck"...

- What are you doing?
- Telling me not to drink.

What the fááá?
- Dude, fáááing slow down.

Dane is still part of my crew,

and things are getting
out of hand.

- Back off.
- Wha--

- We won't be needing
your services any longer.

Dane's gone.

It's hard, like, you have
an argument and it's...

- There's nothing
you can do about it.

- There's nothing
you can do about it.

- Is she good now?
- It is what it is

till I get home, really.

- Mm, it's so good.

Yo, it got real last night.

- I'm the bosun.
- My boss.

This is really refreshing.
Eddie's in a good mood.

- Oh, my gosh, you have her hair
on your vag*na.

- I really don't give a fááá.

I'm not here to like you.

Will we be friends?
Never.

- I do sense a breakdown
in communication

between the interior
and the galley.

My worst nightmare is that
this thing's gonna bubble over.

I demand your cooperation.

[boat horn blows]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

[rock music]

- Oh, she had this on her--

ay-yi, I forgot.

- Good morning, Chef.

- Oh, it's nice to see you,
Rock.

- Coffee time.
[laughs]

- Wow, I was like, "Who the fááá
is this girl in here?"

for a second.

- Why?
- You've got straight hair.

- Well?

- Well what?

- [laughs]

Jerk.
- It looks really good.

I like it.
- Ah, thanks, bud.

You're so sexy, baby.

Oh, my God.
[laughs]

We're on a boat, there's gonna
be some flirtation,

like, whatever,

but Eddie and I
totally hooked up last night.

We got it on.
It was so much fun.

[laughs]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- I need Kate, Eddie, Leon

in the wheelhouse, please.
- Hey, Cap.

- Alan Miller Sr. owns
a surgical laser manufacturer.

He's celebrating his 50th
on this trip.

- Fun.
- He's travelling

with his two sons and two
friends and his girlfriend.

- Good-looking boys.
They're both very attractive.

Whoa.
- Easy there, k*ller.

- He looks like Ryan Gosling.

- Seth Nelson and Jenny Nelson.

- He's married.
- [laughs]

- They're always married.

- They want to do a white party
for Alan Sr.

They are not going to leave
until night of the last day.

- Okay.

- White party, that's easy.

- Forced to use
your imagination, Chef.

- Wow. Mm.

- Chocolate lava birthday cake
with vanilla bean ice cream

and caramel.

- Could you make
a white chocolate lava cake?

Keep everything white?

That might be fun.

Per Caption Lee, I'm trying
really hard with Leon.

He's just not having it.

Adrenaline junkies.

- Try and schedule
a shark dive with them.

That's on their bucket list.

- So should we just,
like, chum up the water?

Rocky could wear
her mermaid tail.

- That would work.
- [laughs]

- Let's throw Leon
in there as well.

Plenty of meat there.

- We'll send them out
with the pros.

- With a local dive company?
- Yeah.

- Okay.
- I think it'll be fun.

- That's it, guys. Thank you.
- Thank you.

- Thank you.

[techno music]

♪ ♪

Okay, so I want
to show you them.

Hi, Connie, ready?

Hey, girl, hey. Don't get
excited 'cause I'm married.

- Oh, my gosh! Is that a joke?

Is that a picture
of Ryan Gosling? Wow.

- Look at that pocket square.
- Look at that.

- That, like,
I don't care about that...

- Beautiful human being.
- But this is really good.

There are checks beside them
because they are single.

- [gasps]
- Dibs.

- You can't dibs just 'cause
you saw it first.

Hey, hot boys.

Finally we're getting
some eye candy on the boat.

- Hey.
- Hey.

- So, for when we pick up,
can I do the anchor with you,

and they can do the fenders?

- That's fine with me.

Connie's ready
to drop anchor.

She's watched me do it enough,
and she's come a long way.

Mm-hmm.
- Thank you.

- Absolutely, I'll let you know
when we're doing that, okay?

- Okay.

- Just when it happens
just drop what you're doing

and get up there with me, okay?
- Yes.

- Look at you.
It's a fitted sheet!

And you're doing it perfectly.

- I hit the laundry to make sure
'cause there was just...

- It looked like
a b*mb went off.

- Yes.

I woke up today
very refreshed and feeling good,

and I really like my job.

- I feel like you've really
come a long way in laundry

and you're good at it,
but is it driving you crazy?

Do you want a break?
- No, I'm hit.

- You're happy?
- I feel energy now.

- It's like she snapped.

Everything is perfect and done.
She's possessed.

What the heck
happened overnight?

I don't know, but I don't care.

I'm so proud of you right now.

- Aw, having a stew moment.

- We totally are.

- Attention all crew,

I need everybody
on the aft deck in five.

- Mm, doing a little lip?

- Yeah, a little color.

Having hot charter guests
is a chain reaction.

I do my hair
a little bit better,

work a little harder.

I like hot charter guests.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Come on, guys, show time.

- Uh-oh, here they are.
- They look fun.

- Wow, they're dressed so fun.

- Welcome aboard.
- Afternoon.

- How are you?
Captain Lee.

- Nice to meet you.
- My pleasure.

- Hi, welcome aboard.
- Captain Lee?

- Captain Lee.
- Alan Sr., how are you, sir?

- Alan, my pleasure.
- Hi. Raquel.

- Hey, I'm Amy,
good to meet you.

- Nice to meet you, Raquel.
- Hi, there.

[overlapping chatter]

- Welcome aboard "Eros."

We've got a great few days
planned for you.

Kate is gonna show you
to your quarters

and give you a tour of the boat,
so you know your way around,

and let's go have some fun.

- All right.
- Cheers.

- All right, y'all,
right this way.

- Wow.
- This is really pretty.

- So here we have
the main salon.

- Wow.
- Formal dining table here,

and this is the bridge deck

where you'll have
most of your meals.

- Yeah, perfect.

- This is fantastic.

- That's gorgeous.

- And then we'll move up
to the sundeck.

This is a very fun level.

- Now we're talking.
- Okay.

- This is where we're gonna be,
right back here.

- You like your water sports?
- Oh, yeah.

- He is hot.

- Hot, but did you see his style
with his, like, loafers

that had the heel,
the pocket square, the satchel?

- Yeah, they have the heel
because she's so tall,

and he has to have
a little heel.

- The charter guests
are good-looking,

but I know
I'm a good-looking guy.

Think I'm gonna be jealous?

Please.

- Aw, you guys look great.

[upbeat music]

- Leon, we're ready to go
on lunch when you are.

- Yeah, about eight minutes.
- Okay.

- I eat about every two
to three hours, so...

- Okay, well,
we'll let the chef know.

- Is that Fireball back there?

- It sure is.

We got that just for y'all.
- sh*t, sh*t, sh*t, sh*t, sh*t.

- Here we go.
- Hey, here's to a great trip.

both: A great trip.
- Cheers.

- All right, deck crew,
let's go,

bow to stern starting now,
let's do it.

- Ship clear.
- Good.

- We're clear.
You're good to go.

All else clear.



Will you let him know
when we clear that sign?

- Got you.

Even though we're a man down,

it's actually really better
because Dane was taking time

away from us
by being incompetent.

If I knew that I was
the weak link on the team,

I couldn't live with myself.

Captain, we're clear
of the sign.

- I like it.

- Cheers, baby.
- Ah, here's to fun, Danyelle.

- Y'all are so cute.

- That guy always has
one eye on me.

- [laughs]

He's difficult
to plan special things for.

- Right.
- He's difficult.

He re--oh, I was like...

[all laugh]

Like, I'm trying to do something
special for his birthday.

He told me he's never
had a birthday cake.

- Oh, my gosh.
- Never.

So I know he loves lava cakes.
- Oh.

I just feel so bad
that this charter guest

has never had
a proper birthday cake,

and I feel even worse
that his first one's gonna

be cooked by Leon and
his sous chef, Betty Crocker.

- I just want him to just
feel super special all day long.

- It's gonna be so fun.
- Yeah.

- Okay.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- This is delicious.
- It's really good.

- Have you tried this?
- Mm-hmm.

- It's pretty spectacular.

This is the best meal
I've had all week.

- It's really good.
- Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my gosh.
This is amazing.

- I'm sorry, I really like food.
[laughter]

[hip-hop music]

- Are the guests
going shark diving today?

- They're supposed to.

[phone line ringing]

- Hello?
- Captain Keith?

- Sí.
- How you doing?

Uh-huh?

- Sháá.

This is really important
for the guests

because it's
on their bucket list.

This is one of the reasons
they came here.

- But you're saying
there's absolutely nothing

we can do today?

Yeah, well, I've got to go
tell these guys, so...

Affluent people are not used to
being told that they can't do

what they wanna do,

and when I have to deliver
that news,

it's extremely uncomfortable.

- We'll see what we can
work out for 'em.

- So I was talking
to the primary's girlfriend,

and for his birthday,
it's his 50th.

- Yeah, I seen it.
- And all--pardon?

- Also, she said that
he's never had

a birthday cake before.
- Yeah?

- Usually, yacht chefs
make everything from scratch,

but judging
from Leon's past behavior

with desserts,
making them from a box,

making them from a sheet pan,

I want to emphasize
the importance

of this birthday cake.

So I just thought
I'd pass that on.

- Thank you.

- Guys?
- Captain.

- Unfortunately, our shark dive
has been cancelled.

Visibility is down to 10 feet,
and with 10-foot sharks,

it's unsafe.

I'm sorry to bring
the bad news

'cause I know it was important.

We're gonna get some toys
in the water,

and this time of year is a good
time to go lobster diving.

- We can handle that.

- So we'll make it a great day.
- Very nice.

- All right, guys.
- You know, we're good.

- Thanks, appreciate it.
- Thanks.

[upbeat music]

- I have kind of bad news.

The shark guys cancelled,
so how sharky are you feeling?

Where's your shark one-piece?

Weather shouldn't stop us.

Let's get creative.

We can make cardboard jaws
around your head.

Big cardboard teeth.

- And we have white tape.

- We'd better get started.

Hey, Connie?

- Don't throw that box away.

- We're using it to make jaws.
- Well, no, you can't.

It's for the dehydrator.
Don't even think about that.

- I don't think the boat
needs the jerky maker box.

- Listen to me.
It's going back in the box.

Use another box, yes?
Please?

Thank you.
Fáááing hell.

- Why does it need the box?

- Just leave the box
back where it was, please, yeah?

Kate seems to try
and push my buttons

more than anything else.

- There shouldn't even
be cardboard on boats.

- You dish it,
you'll get it back.

There's loads of boxes
in the bilge, you know?

- I don't know why
you're getting so upset

over a jerky box.
- I'm not getting upset.

Just leave the box
where it is.

Thank you.
- You're being a little jerky.

- Put the box
where you got it from.

- You're being a lot
a bit jerky.

- Thank you.

- Who are you making these for?

- The guests.
- Where's Leon?

- He's just taking a nap.

- We're not on his schedule.

Somehow Leon seems to have
misplaced that concept.

- [groans]
Kate.

Oh, my eyes! That's a flame.
[smoke alarm beeping]

- Eddie, Eddie. Kate. We need
you in the galley please.

- I don't think the boat
needs this jerky maker box.

- Listen to me.
It's going back in the box.

Use another box, yes?
Fáááing hell.

- Oh, good,
because we can't use the box

because it's a very special box
with mildew on the bottom.

- Ugh.

- This was delicious.

- Should we go get our swimsuits
on for the lobster diving or...

- I mean, how do I lobster dive?

- I just don't know, will
your head fit in here? I mean--

- Oh, I can attach it
to the mask.

- No, I think it's better
if your whole face

is coming out of the jaws
of life.

- Like this?
- Or we just need--

- So it can be
a little bit bigger,

and I can just put some tape
around it, so it does fit?

- Let's just use
a bigger cardboard piece,

like this box.

He only wants to keep it
because I want to use it.

- [South African accent]
Connie, Connie. Eddie.

- [laughs]
Yes, Eddie?

- Bow.
- Coming.

- Did he try to do my accent?
- Yeah.

Any kind of job
where you're working strictly

with the captain
is nerve-racking.

It's, like, Captain,
you, anchor,

like, get this sháá right.

Don't fááá this up.
- How you doing?

- Ready.
- Okay.

- Eddie, when we get
on our mark, I want 225, 225.

- Copy.
- So 225--

- Eddie, have you reached
puberty yet?

- No, Captain.
- [chuckles]

- Oh, wait, it just hit.
- [chuckles]

- Really want to make sure
that nothing is going to catch.

- Now.
- Dropping.

[upbeat music]

- Anchor's on the bottom.

- Go ahead
and get the snubber on.

- Okay, you got it?
- Yeah.

- Take the brake off.

Tell me when the snubber
reaches the water, okay?

- At the water.

- It's at the water now?
- Yep.

- Okay, and one last step.

What's one thing that's missing?

There it is.
- I'm proud of myself right now.

- Okay, all right, Captain,

we got a snubber on,
anchor ball out.

We're all finished up here.
- Copy that, thank you.

Nice job, Connie.

- Round two.
[laughs]

- Oh, there we go.

- Peer pressure
does it every time.

- Yeah.
- All right.

- Fireball.

[funky music]

♪ ♪

- What you saying, Chef?
- Living the dream, bro.

Living the fáááing dream.

- Living the fáááing dream.

- I never seen you last night,
big boy.

- Oh, yeah,
'cause I watched p*rn.

- You watched p*rn?
- And I masturbated,

like, six times.

That's, like, almost a record.
- Wow.

- Leon is a great guy.

He's good at what he does, and
we sort of have similar values.

He's my boy.
[laughs]

What's your most?

- Probably three.
- Three times?

Get in there, man.
[laughs]

- What am I?

- Look at her.
Look at her back.

Wait, show him the back.
- What am I?

- You're definitely a shark.
- Wait, look at the back, Eddie.

It's like a viper.
- I don't think this...

- I think that it
makes it look so cool.

- I don't think
that's gonna stay on.

- I think the teeth
make it look super ghetto

as if I don't look ghetto
enough already.

- The teeth are pretty ghetto.
- Yeah.

These cardboard shark teeth

are way more ghetto
than these fake ones.

- Just look at--
oh, it looks so cute.

- It's not gonna fit.

- Okay, all right.

[upbeat music]

- [laughs]

- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God.

- Oh, the fin.

[indistinct chatter]

- Get next to Gator.

♪ ♪

- So we did not end up
using the box,

but at least I'm trying
to be unique and creative,

unlike some people.

- Adios, guys.

- Hey, right here.
Look, guys, there's the dolphin.

- Don't fall.
[laughs]

- I don't care. I'm a shark.
I can swim.

[all laugh]

♪ ♪

- Rocky, I'm gonna rest,
then I'm gonna get back into it.

- Have a really good rest.
- Thank you.

- Mm-hmm.

- It's freaking middle school
up in here right now.

- They're all
freaking out about something

that's not that big a deal,
a box, like...

- I know.
Who gives a fááá about a box?

They're just doing it to just
pick at each other...

- Yeah, like,
I think that's ridiculous.

- So it's both of them.
It's both of them.

- Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hate is such a strong word,
but those two

like, hate each other,
and that oozes out.

That negative energy,
it's like,

oh, my gosh,
can't y'all get along?

At least all the guests are
off board, so this can happen.

- At least the guests
are off board.

I hope they stay away
for a long time.

- Maybe Connie can distract 'em
with her shark costume,

which was awesome.
- Awesome.

- Nice conch.

- Is everything at home okay?

- I haven't been able
to talk to my girlfriend.

- Mm.

- It's bad. When I get home,
we'll talk about it.

Me breaking up with her out here
is not the right thing to do...

- Yeah.
- So things suck right now.

When you hook up with someone
on charter, you keep it quiet,

because if everybody
knows about it,

it creates complications within
the professionalism of the crew.

Everything's always okay
in the end.

- Right as rain.

- Right as rain.

- "Eros," we are
on our way back.

[upbeat music]

- What?
- Um, is it--

- Oh, look.
Something to warm us up.

- Hi, guys.
How was it?

Was it good out there?

- Yeah, it was great.

- The hot tub's on. I'm not sure
what the temperature is.

- Can we get more cocktails?
- Yeah.

- Yeah, a couple cocktails.
- Just look at that.

- I know.
- Here you go.

There's two more coming up.
- Ladies first.

- Come on, AJ, get in here.
- Nice!

- We're getting so close
to dinner

but whatever you prefer.

Leon, Leon. Kate.

- The guests want quesadillas.
I know where the chicken is,

so I'm just gonna
make chicken quesadillas.

- Yeah, top shelf
where the cheese is.

- I got this.
- Thank you.

- Sure.

- [yawning]
Quesadillas.

[funky music]

- What the fááá?

Does that look clean?
Does that look clean?

No way.

Where's the damn chicken?

We need chicken.

You gotta get some chicken.

Fááá it.

Cheese.

♪ ♪

Hi, Captain.

- What you got going on?

- Just making some quesadillas.

We don't have cheddar,
so I'm using Swiss

and a little burrata.

I mean, what else do we have?

- Who are you making these for?

- The guests.

- Where's Leon?

- He's just taking a nap,
and this is super simple,

so I just thought
I'd do it for him.

- I have no idea what the hell
is going on inside his mind.

We're not on his schedule.

We're on the guests' schedule,

and somehow Leon seems
to have misplaced that concept.

- I woke him up,
and I asked him

where the leftover chicken
and stuff was.

[microwave buttons beep]

- That's fine.
I like it when you're quiet.

Like, quiet is the best.
[moans]

- Where's Leon?

- He's just taking a nap,

and this is super simple, so I
just thought I'd do it for him.

- Okay.

- Captain Lee seems upset
that I'm cooking,

but it's like,
it's just a quesadilla.

Throw the steak on there, boom.
Nuke it, boom.

You don't have
to go to culinary school

to make a quesadilla.

Emile can make a quesadilla.

- Oh, what is that, curry?

- I already know you're
the Rico Suave on this boat.

- Well--
- What's the deal?

- Well, the thing is,
the girls here don't put out.

Yeah, they don't put out.

Especially Rocky.
- [laughs]

- Want to take this up there
for them to start?

- Yeah, sure.
- Wow, look at you.

- Girls, girls, get over there

and feed your men
some food, huh?

Come on.
- Are you kidding me right now?

- She just used
leftover pot roast quesadilla.

This is a culinary low
in my yachting career.

Hopefully the Fireball
will numb their taste buds.

- Oh, my God, they're good.

- [yawns]

- Who?

- No, why?

And it's not a big deal.

- You know that.
I know that.

- It's just quesadillas.

- I'm not gonna lose sleep
over that one.

[techno music]

- I'm gonna go down
and shower and get changed.

- Who's ready for
another exciting Leon dinner?

- Connie, don't get involved.

- Yeah.

- I should just shut up.
- Emile,

let's stick to our work.
- Yes.

- Let's keep doing
what we're doing.

Let's not get wrapped up
in the whirlwind, okay?

We've had so much drama out
on the deck.

We do not need to get involved
in the interior bullsháá.

- Okay, I'll tell you later.

- You can tell me now.

- It doesn't matter right now.

I feel that Kate,

she's the infection that's just
spreading through this boat.

It's negative.

I'm just gonna stick up
for my friends

and have my friends' backs

'cause that's what
an honest man does.

I will think about it, and then
I'll talk to you in a bit.

- Okay, I like that.

Think before you talk.

That is--I like that.

[upbeat music]

- When they first arrived,
I was like,

"Ooh, the guys are hot."
- Yeah.

- But now I'm like...
- Yeah.

- None of the guys are hot.

- You spoke to the boys?

- Oh, yeah. Cool guys.

Funny, they work hard.

That's what they told me,
they bust their asses.

- What do they do?
- They work for their daddy.

- Oh, that's hard.
Fááá off, hard my ass.

[electronic music]

♪ ♪

- Oh, wow.
- Nice.

- Thank you, sir.

- I'm such a happy camper.

- Ooh, the double smear.

Ah. It's a big night.

- Why?
- He's mixing it up.

We got a double puree smear,
double, double.

- Ooh.

Grilled leeks?

- With just a little bit
of crunch in them, sexy.

- This is squid ink apple puree?

- Uh-huh, the one we used
from when we had the pork

with the last group.

- How are these scallops cooked?

- Pan fried.
- Any sauce or anything?

- Nothing, natural.
- Okay, so...

simple.
- Natural.

- Do you want me
to mention the purees,

or are they for more decoration?

- They're not for decorations.

They're there for the dish.
- Okay.

- As soon as the scallops
St. Jacques are on, you can go.

- The scallops what?

- St. Jacques, that's the name
of them in French.

- Oh, I didn't know
we were a bilingual kitchen now.

I thought we were bipolar.

- She's a fáááing stupid áááá.

If Kate's trying
to wear me down,

she's gonna have to try
a little bit harder.

- Pan-fried scallops
with squid ink apple puree,

and those are grilled leeks
underneath the scallops.

- Fantastic, thank you.
- Enjoy.

- Happy birthday soon to be.
- Happy birthday.

- Thank you for everything.
- Thanks, son.

- Why do I have to work
with fáááing idiots?

- I'm telling you,
there's going to be no winning.

She's just gonna
keep it up until...

- Until what?

- Dude, it hurts my ears to have
her talk to you like that.

- I'm taking no prisoners now.

Watch, I bet she runs
to the captain and cries.

I come from hard kitchens.

So when I had
my own restaurants,

I'd be screaming at girls,
screaming and making them cry.

And they'd be like,
you can't talk to me like that.

And I'm like, in my kitchen,
I will talk how I wanna talk.

- Chef, you're so handsome
when you talk like this.

- I'm gonna--
I'm gonna have so much fun.

You haven't seen fááá all yet.
Watch.

[Rocky sighs]

- Wow, that's fantastic.

- There's never been
a bad meal here.

- Leon, Leon. Kate.

How much time do you need
to fire the main course?

- About 2 1/2 hours.

- Calm breaths, deep blue seas.

[sighs]

- What do you mean


- Knowing how Kate reacts
to Leon's attitude, you know,

hostilities could
get out of control,

so I need to get down there
and take care of this.

How we doing, bud?
- What can I say?

Is that a trick fáááing question
at this time of night, man?

No, it's good, man.
I'm good.

I'm fine, thank you.

- What's on the menu tonight?
- Beef cheeks.

It's a signature dish
I used to do.

They're definitely gonna
enjoy it.

- It's ready to go.
- Thank you.

- Ginger, carrots,
and pomme fondants.

- What?
- Pomme fondants.

- Fried potatoes?

- No, deep-fried potatoes.
If you're gonna do it,

you might as well say
deep-fried potatoes, yeah?

No, pomme fondants.

- Pomme?
- Fondants, yeah.

- Okay.

- [sighs]

Fried potatoes.

- So these are
slow roasted beef cheeks

with deep-fried potato
with port sauce.

- Oh, my. Wow.

- I'm gonna need seconds
on this.

- [laughs]
- Just go ahead and bring it up.

- Oh, my gosh.

- Sure, all the guests
love his food,

but on a yacht,
every meal should be unique.

- Keeps getting
better and better, mmm.

- That's fantastic.

- If Leon spent as much time

planning new and exciting,
creative meals for the guests

as he did napping,
he would be amazing.

- How was their meal?
Did they enjoy it?

- I think so. I wasn't up there.
I was doing turndowns.

- They love your beef cheeks
as usual. Good job.

- Oh, thank you.
- How's all this going?

- That's why I'm sitting here.

- Bet you're just loving it.

- Nothing I'd rather do.

- Yeah.

- Oh, gosh.

It's just like
I'm so sick of everybody.

Like, it's like, okay,
just, everybody, let it go.

- She's pushing him
to the freaking limit.

Does she not understand
how she's talking to somebody?

- But then I don't think
it helps for him

to say 2 1/2 hours.

- She's so sarcastic
and just ugh.

- Okay.

- Yeah, it's bad.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- So you're the night shift?

- I'm the night shift.
- Late night?

- Whatever you guys
want to make it.

- We don't have
an off switch, so...

- No off switch?
All righty then.

- Where have you been all day?

- They keep me in the dungeon.
- [laughs]

- She's probably gonna
need some help.

- Oh, there's no way
I would leave Rocky alone.

- No.

- Locked up.

She's locked up.

- Thanks, Amy.
See you in the morning.

- Thank you.
Have a good night.

- There you go.
- [laughs]

I got you.

- Go big.
- I'll be there.

- Dude, I need
to blow off some steam.

You don't even know.

- The point of having
two girls on service

is to have two girls on service.

Rocky doesn't understand she
can be talking and having fun

while still be working.

- Look, out there,
there's some light.

Is it a buoy or...

- Look at these tadpoles.
Look at these little guys.

- They're not fáááing tadpoles.

- That's a sperm right there.

- This is a calamari

that you were eating earlier.
- Yep.

- Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

- Uh-oh, uh-oh,
we got in trouble.

- Uh-oh.
- No.

Gonna help you, honey.
- I'm just trying to help you.

Like, when I'm late service,
like, I check in with them

and then somehow try and dip out
of the conversation

and maybe pull the glasses.

So I've got a list, like,
the napkins, the place mats.

Here, I'll get my little list.

- I'm the little bitch stew,

like, third stew,
and so it's just like,

I'm just trying
the best I can,

and it's just like
there's nothing I can do.

I've tried. I've tried.
I failed.

- After you.

- I can clean this up.

- I know you can.

I know you can,
but I'm helping you,

and I just wanted to kind of,
like, share some info with you.

- Thank you.
- Yeah, you're welcome.

Is everything okay with you?

- Mm-hmm.

- It's, like, stone cold,
mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

I'm like, you have the nerve?

I've actually done most
of your late-night duties.

Don't give me attitude.

I feel like
you're, like, pissed off.

- No, I'm just thinking
about my life and where I'm at.

- I need to go to sleep, so
I'm just gonna bite my tongue

because I know if I probably
said what I wanted to,

you'd be crying in the room,

and I'd have to take over
more of your duties.

Come on, Rocky, grow up.

[computer chirping]

Hi! How's it going?

- Good, how are you?
- Good, I miss you.

I wish you were here.
- I wish I was too.

but, you know, gotta advance
in my career, I guess.

Maybe next charter season,
who knows,

I'll come on as a first mate.

- Maybe we can work
another charter together.

This one's been
totally different.

Like, I wasn't sure how
it was gonna be with Kate and I,

Kel, you know,
I was nervous, and,

like, things have been,
like, surprisingly so good.

But there's some tensions
between Kate and our chef.

I'm just trying to keep
the peace and focus on work,

but I just feel,
like, kind of lonely

'cause I don't
really have anyone

to really, like,
talk things out with

that I really, like,
completely trust,

you know what I mean?
- Yeah.

- There comes this point
in every charter season

when you're working
with nine people,

really exhausted,
it's beyond hard.

- It's work, and if you're
enjoying your work time,

stick with what you're doing.

If you made it this far,

you can make it
through the rest of it.

You come home,
and I'll let you borrow Gizmo.

- Talking to him is reminding me
how much I wish Kelley was here.

Aw, I miss you, Gizmo!

My little precious puppy.

- I'm bringing him down
when you get back.

- Yay, okay, talk to you soon.

Love you, bye.

[hip-hop music]

♪ ♪

- I wanna be a team player.
I wanna help.

I wanna do good,

but after picking up
and cleaning up after people

all day long, all day long

and it's just been like
I haven't had my release.

Enough is enough.

Hey, Eddie.
- Yeah?

- I had a crazy day.

- Make sure, you know--

- That's fine.
- Yeah.

- Whispering, yeah.

I like it when you're quiet.

Like, quiet is the best.

I found some duct tape up there.

- Oh, no.

I know this is wrong,
but hey, she's got a nice ass.

Phew. Slow the fááá down.

- No talking.

[moans]

♪ ♪

- Sometimes your attitude sucks,
and I come to you--

- [crying]
My attitude sucks?

My attitude sucks?
This is me.

- No, no, no, no, no.
- No, I can't anymore. I can't.

They're gnarly, huh?

- As soon as I saw Seth,
I kind of thought he looked like

a poor man's Ryan Gosling.

- Whoo!
- Yes.

- We have "Crazy Stupid Love"
Ryan Gosling.

- Oh, I like belts.
[chuckles]

- Then we've got edgy,
"Drive" Ryan Gosling.

And who could forget
"The Notebook" Ryan Gosling?

But there is only one
Ryan Gosling.

- [vocalizing]

♪ ♪

- This is disgusting.

Rocky asks
for more responsibility

and says she knows
what she's doing,

but clearly she does not,

and I end up
having to do her job for her.

♪ ♪

Hey, Leon, what are you making?
- Uh, nothing.

Just playing around
with something.

- What?

- Just playing around
with something.

- What?

- Nothing.

- What are you
playing around with?

- I don't know yet.

- I've never had
such a miserable experience

with a chef as I have with Leon.

- What are you gonna do
about what's going on there?

- Hello, Emile.
- Hey, what's up?

- I don't know.
- What are you doing?

- These are, like,
little mango crisps

I'm gonna use for the dessert.

- Oh, wow, you're making
your own mango crisps?

- Yeah.
- Hmm.

- [sighs]

- See how it plays out.

See if we can get through it.

I'm just over the top

with people being so fáááing
concerned with their own agenda.

We have a job to do.

Just do it.

Scares me and I'm fearless.

[hip-hop music]

♪ ♪

- So I have the breakfast table
set up outside,

and we've got fruit,
croissants, muffins.

If you'd like to order
any eggs or pancakes,

or there's bacon and sausage.

- Fruit?
We're on vacation.

- I said bacon,
sausage, French toast.

- Bacon, yeah, yeah,
bring all the good stuff.

- Okay, do you want an omelet
or anything?

- I'll have an omelet. You guys
make me a lobster omelet?

- Sure.

Leon treats
the entire interior team

like we are his waitstaff.

I can handle that.

He can make his food.

I'll carry the plates out.
The guests will be fed.

- Have you sensed the vibe
of the interior?

- It's horrible.
- It's intense.

- So dumb.

- Oh, my God, you are so dumb,
it's incredible.

Like, you can have one or
the other; you can't have both.

You can be pretty,
or you can be dumb.

You have both.
You're pretty dumb.

She'd be happy
if you and Rocky were banging,

'cause then it'd keep Rocky busy

and she wouldn't have
to deal with her.

- That looks amazing.

♪ ♪

Oh, my goodness.

How are we going to fit
into our bikinis, Ben?

- How was your night last night?

- Um...

I don't think Rocky understands
night service

versus hanging out.

It's hard when you're trying
to help someone,

and then they get mad at you
telling them what the job is.

- Let's roll.

- I'm not sure
what we're doing, baby.

- I'm going kiteboarding.

- You guys want
to go Tahiti Beach?

Grab some drinks?
- Yeah.

- [murmurs]
- Tie it around--I got it.

- Watch out, Girl Scouts.
- All right, guys.

- Good thing I came down
when I did.

- Right here.
- Oh!

[electronic music]

♪ ♪

- Hey, Rock?

- Okay, tell me what's up.

- Last night I was kind of
frustrated that, like,

you were hanging out with
the guests all night versus,

like, checking in,
you know what I mean?

Sometimes you don't know
completely what the job is.

- I know you guys think
that I'm not doing my job,

but I am doing my job.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, you're
putting words in my mouth...

- I'm sorry, I'm getting
frustrated, and it's like--

- I'm not saying--
Well, I'm frustrated too.

- You really feel like
I really don't get it.

Like, that's what
I'm kind of sick of,

and, like, I'm sick of Kate--

I'm sick of Kate making me
feel like I don't get it.

I don't want my hand held.

- Babe, I have been holding your
hand this entire season, like...

- Okay.
- I feel like I've been trying--

- Well, then, what the heck
am I doing here?

Why don't you guys just fire me
if I fáááing suck?

I know what I'm doing.
I'm not four.

Stop talking to me like that.

Stop it. Stop!

- I want you to get this.

Like, I care for you,
you know what I mean?

And so this was a talk
for me to tell you,

like, sometimes your attitude
sucks when I come to you.

- [crying]
My attitude sucks?

My attitude sucks?

This is me.
This is me.

- Don't go there.
- I want to go there.

This is where I want to go.

This is how I'm feeling.

I understand you.

I get it. I'm sorry.

I'm going to work on it.
I'm not mad at you.

I'm mad at myself that
I can't do a better job.

I gotta go. I gotta go--
- No, no, no, no.

- No, I can't anymore.
I can't.

[surf music]

♪ ♪

- We'll just be right here.

♪ ♪

- No, hey, just chill.
I mean--

- I'm totally worn out.

I'm totally worn out right now.

- Rocky, don't do it.

It's not worth it.

- Okay, okay, okay.

- Seriously, you honestly
think it's worth it?

- No.
- Thank you, that's all.

- It feels good to know
that somebody else gets it

and that he can see, you know,
what's going on.

[hip-hop music]

♪ ♪

- Hi, friends.
- Yeah, Gator.

- I'm gonna go right by you
really quick, please.

- Hello.
- Hi.

- I just want to run
across the menu with you

if that's okay for tonight.
- Yeah, absolutely.

- We've got
some beautiful rabbit saddles

which I've got in.

Rabbit. Rabbit. Rabbit.

Yes?

Yeah.

- So we had animals,
and this one rabbit was my pet.

Then one day,
he was gone,

and my mom's like,
we're having chicken.

I'm like,
this doesn't look like chicken.

Are we eating my pet rabbit?

- Oh, no.
- [laughs]

- I refused to eat the rabbit.

My sister ate it.

It was my pet.
What could I do?

- Oh, my gosh, abort, abort.

Leon, abort the rabbit mission.

- But other than that,
everything's great.

- Good, good, good.
- Thank you.

- It was her pet.

Do you have a backup--
something else?

- Oh, Lord have mercy, please.

I hope this.

I hope, hope, hope
for our charter tip's sake

that this is amazing.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Cheers.
- Thanks.

♪ ♪

- ♪ Little Bunny Foo Foo ♪

[together]
♪ Hopping through the forest ♪

♪ Da da da da da da
da da da da da ♪

- We're serving wabbits.
- Wabbits.

- Or maybe we should go
find some golden retriever

and serve that as well.
- Oh, yeah, right.

- I'm just kidding.
Who would eat rabbit?

[cell phone chimes]

[cell phone whistles]

[cell phone chimes]

- It's nice to have Eddie there
because it's like these chicks

and, like, this job
and everything

and then he's actually--

I kind of feel like
he cares about me a little bit.

[cell phone whistles]

- This is my side
of the table.

Besides me, name two nerds
that are sexy.

- Looks like a lot of energy has
been put into this plate, Chef.

- Yeah, Rocky,
the plates look amazing.

However, tomorrow
let's serve them venison

while they watch "Bambi."

So here you have rabbit

with roasted vegetables
in a brown onion-fig puree

and dehydrated
black olive gravel.

- Wow.
- Okay, here we go.

♪ Here comes Peter Cottontail
hopping down the bunny trail ♪

- Did you have
to really go there?

- Yeah.

- This is just taking me back
to when I was little.

- Kind of tastes like chicken.

- It tastes a lot like chicken.

- Like white meat.
- How's everything so far?

- So far, so good.

- Fantastic.

- Holy hell, open the door.

[smoke alarm beeping]
- Fire, that's a fire.

- Where?
- It's in there.

- What is going on?

We're gonna do
breakfast in bed for him.

- Okay.
- I'm gonna have you be early.

Is that all right?

- Are we switching maybe 'cause
you don't want to be with Leon

in the morning?
- No.

- I was just wondering,
like, mid-charter,

like, switching me,
I didn't know what that--

- No, I just--after last night
with Rocky,

I wanna see how it is.
- Gotcha.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- I've got noisemakers in a bag,
so we'll sneak those up.

It's this guy's 50th birthday,
and his family

and his girlfriend
want to make it so special.

So we're gonna do
a New Year's Eve

kind of countdown
birthday celebration.

It's midnight.
- This is my wish.

I already have it, so...

- Aww.

- This is it.
It's a dream come true.

- Aww.
- Oh.

- Happy birthday.
- Thank you so much.

- Happy birthday.

Good job.
- Whoo!

- 50 sh*ts to 50.

- Ahh.

[techno music]

♪ ♪

- Just so you guys know,
I get to pick kung fu movies.

Everybody good with that?

- I'm good, it's your birthday.

- Yeah, I've got a pizza
in the oven.

- Might be some Chuck Norris.
- Chuck.

- I think the master
wants to put a movie on.

Do you know how to do all that?

He's picking a movie.
I just don't know about that TV.

- Okay, I'll try to do it.
- Where's the chef?

I'm starving.
- We've got a pizza in the oven.

- Pizza?
- Yeah, we've got popcorn.

- And we're gonna make popcorn.

- Snacks.

- Peanut butter banana?

Are you kidding me?

- Late-night food
is our specialty.

- Do you mind
if I butter your banana?

- You can butter my banana.

- I'm just gonna do a loose job.

[sultry music]

Look at that banana.

Ooh, I smell something burning.
- I smell smoke.

- Uh-oh, watch this.

Oh, Jesus, Kate put the frigging
popcorn in too long.

- What's burning bad right now?

- I didn't do it, I swear.
[coughing]

- Something's on fire.

Can't even cook fáááing popcorn.

You stand there, and once it
stops popping for a second,

you take it out.

Jesus.

- I was up here.
- Who was cooking it?

- Well, I pressed start.

Who was in the galley?

- What the f--Kate?

- I could smell it up
on the sky-deck,

and I was like,
what's that smell?

- God, Kate.

What the fááá is she doing?

Oh, my eyes.

[blows raspberry]

Save the pizza.

Oh, my eyes.

Fááá.

Pfft.

- Holy hell, open the door.

- The door is open.

- Turn on the fan, high.
- It is on high.

- Just keep batting the cloth
by the fire thing.

- What the--

Smoke.

That's a flame.

That's a flame.
That's a fire.

That's a fire.
That's a fire.

[smoke alarm beeping]
- Where?

- It's in there.

- What is going on?

- Where's the--
- Where's the fire--

- Uh, where's the--
- We don't know what kind of--

Eddie, Eddie. Kate.

Where's the fire extinguisher?

Eddie, we need you
in the galley, please.

[alarm continues beeping]

- Kate threw the pizza
in the oven.

Kate didn't pull
any of the trays out,

so she left, obviously,
dry trays in there, and...

she was drinking as well.

- You're a jabber.

You just jab, jab,
jab, jab, jab.

- You're just gonna walk away?
- Yeah, actually.

- Rocky.
- Rock...

- Yeah, she's jumping.
Rocky's in the water.

- Have you come
to save us?

- I don't know
what I'm here for.