11x01 - New Capt, New Rules

[bunniefuu]

I was born for this life.

Growing up in the Australian
outback,

I had to be tough.

Adventure and danger for me
is just another day.

I’ve been a captain
nearly 30 years

and I’ve come across many,
many personalities.

[gasps]

You guys are not professionals,
I’m not gonna lie.

I’ve sailed all over the world.

North America, the Atlantic,

Caribbean, but this is
my first time in Grenada.

What a beautiful place.

The sandy beaches, waterfalls,

rainforests, the jungles.

But you can’t allow this beauty
to make you complacent.

[bleep]
I’m in trouble.

You wanna know a little secret?

The easiest part of being a
captain is driving the boat.

I’m getting no information.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

The hard part’s the crew.

- All right.
- Thank you.

I have nothing, I’m bare.

I didn’t realize that
becoming a chief stew meant

that I had to be a therapist.

A mate, a garbage disposal.

I had this on mine.

A button for the primary
and it’s like a doorbell.

Ding dong, ding dong, ding dong.

But I’m coming back
with an iron fist

and I’m gonna fist the sh...
Out of this season.

Oh, God.

You guys are so adamant
that I’m this bitch.

You were a bitch to me.

I grew up with three nannies.

One would cook, one would clean,
one would do my hair.

I’m from Argentina and I’m
a huge daddy’s girl, for sure.

I’m relatively ready on time.

You b*at Fraser.

My eyebrows are tattooed,
my eyelashes are fake as hell

and so are my extensions.

But I’m real as [bleep].

I may have done one
or a few things

that you’re not gonna be
too happy about, father.

Oh, yeah.

Ben the stew slayer is back.

Can you not fall in love?

With a hot mess.

I’ll try.

I’m such a sucker
for a pretty face.

If you go and
touch another girl’s ass,

that is just not okay, Ben.

My situation?
Oh, it’s... ed.

Sort your sh... out, Ben.

I am a witch and a vampire.

There’s aloe vera in
the toiletry cupboard.

Bathe in it.

I do not like human contact.

- I just wiped that.
- Ow!

Only come to life at night.

I just wish I could remember it.

- Oh, no!
- [bleep]!

Okay.

So been, in this 11 years now.

But managing a team is...

Yeah, managing a lot.

This is not 10 meters.
That’s 4 meters.

All right, sorry.

Thank you, public school.

I don’t need to rely on no man.

I try to stay out of drama,
but boys,

they are my weakness.

That’s not okay.

You can’t... ing [bleep]
two girls in the same boat.

The only red flag that I like
is the Canadian flag.

And let’s keep it at that.

- Oh, for sure, bud.
- For sure, bud.

I’m Scottish through
and through, born and raised.

Like, there’s no
place like home.

Kyle’s quite hot.
I’m not gonna lie.

Ah...

Geez, don’t...

Kyle, don’t flash your thing.

Kyle!

Gross.

I wish people didn’t have
as much hair as they do.

I’m a California girl
through and through.

Everyone will ask,
what’s your dream job?

I’m like, I don’t
dream of labor, okay?

I like to keep chill.

That’s how life should be.

Just want to nap so bad.

Oh, another accent.

- French.
- Oh.

His eyebrows are very nice.

- They want to [bleep] you.
- Yeah, I think so.

I cook with my heart.

How do you handle stress?

Uh, I think I’m good.

I’m tired of
working on this damn boat.

Like, I’m so sick of it.

You guys wanted to drive
me bat-sh... crazy?

You win.

This is the worst day
of my life, I think.

There’s no doubt I’ve got
some big shoes to fill.

It’s a big girl.

But hey, it sounds
like a challenge to me,

and I’m up for it.

Cheers.

Be good, or be damn good at it.

All I’m asking you is to
keep your d*ck in your pants.

Kyle, [bleep] sake.

Hello, old friend.

Here we are again.

Phew.

Right.

[knocking]

Come in.

Good day, mate.
How’s it going?

- Good. How you doing?
- Good.

I know.

- It’s good.
- Take a seat, mate.

Different location,
different weather, too.

- Are you well?
- Fantastic, mate.

- Good.
- Fantastic.

I saw you were in the
Seychelles for a bit.

- I was.
- Yeah?

- Have you been there?
- Yeah. I took a boat there.

It’s a couple of boats down.

- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.

I went through the Gulf of Aden
and dodged pirates

and ended up on the Seychelles.

This is probably...

Didn’t have the same experience.

- 2010, yeah.
- I love it.

It’s great.

- Excited for the season.
- Yeah.

Looking forward to it, mate.

- Here’s your resumes here.
- Okay.

You’ve got a mixture
of experience.

There is definitely a God.
I’m a believer now.

- Yeah.
- Okay.

Like me as I was growing up,
I was very friendly to my crew

and when I started
taking the lead,

it was a little hard
to separate those two.

- I learned a lot last year.
- Yeah.

I’ve come back
a different person.

Yeah.

I’ve met Captain Kerry socially

and he seems fun

and I’m excited to see what
he’s like to work with.

Well, absolutely.

- You know what I mean?
- Yeah, I totally agree.

Last year, I was very
much needing to be

everyone’s best friend
and that didn’t work for me.

So, this year,

Mommy’s still here for
her babies...

- Awesome, mate.
- Nice to see you.

- Happy to have you aboard, mate.
- Gosh, all right.

Let’s get this show on the road.

All right, I’ll see you around.

- See you, mate.
- Thank you.

Oh, this is a big... er.

I feel bad about taking
a cabin to myself.

That’s just the way
the cookie crumbles.

G’day, mate.

I’m doing well.
How are you?

Good, mate.
Nice to meet you.

Jared.
Pleasure to meet you.

Kerry, take a seat, mate.

So, you’ve been captain
on smaller boats, right?

Yeah.

So, I can see a lot of value
in what you bring to the table.

I know your job better
than anybody else’s,

so I’m going to be harder
on you than anyone else.

- All right, so have thick skin.
- Yep.

Being a bosun is ing difficult.

It’s hard.

You better have a
good catcher’s mitt

because a lot of things
are being thrown at you.

I grew up in Connecticut.

I spent five
years building houses,

but I didn’t want to be
stuck in a small town

swinging a hammer for
the rest of my life,

so what better way to travel
than on somebody else’s dime

while making a nickel?

- So, this is your crew here.
- Okay.

Ben has been on the boat before.

And he’ll be your
lead deckhand this year.

- Okay.
- Thanks for coming.

We’re going to have
an epic season.

I’m looking forward to it, dude.

Thanks, Cap.

Oh, yeah.
She’s a big girl.

Hello, baby.

Frenchie is in the game, baby.

She’s beautiful.

I guess let’s find
the captain now.

- Hello, hello.
- Hey, what’s up, man?

- Fraser, nice to meet you.
- How are you?

- Jared, pleasure to meet you.
- Jared.

You’re the bosun, right?

Yes, sir.

Can’t wait to get it
in the t-shirt.

- Yes.
- This is a poor choice.

Good morning, sir.
Chef Anthony.

- How are you doing?
- It’s a pleasure to meet you.

So, whereabouts are you from?

- Born and raised in France.
- Yeah.

Now I’m actually in Miami
and doing a lot of charter.

Do a little French French,
oui, oui, oui.

What I expect from you is to
work well with the interior.

Yeah.

The food doesn’t taste as good

if the energy bringing
it out isn’t good.

- Don’t worry, I got you.
- Thanks a lot, mate.

Yes, sir.
Thank you so much.

Great having you aboard.
Thank you so much.

All right, don’t freak out.

Who else is coming to
destroy my life?

Yoo hoo.

- Hello.
- Hello.

- Fraser, nice to meet you.
- Anthony, nice to meet you.

- How are you doing?
- Where are you from?

- France.
- Oh, nice.

Hello?

[speaking French]

I love it

Hey, mates.
This is Anthony, our chef.

- That’s my room?
- Yes.

Perfect.

We’ll meet up in a bit
and have a chat.

Yeah. Sounds good.

Mmm.

Anybody home?

- Oh, no.
- Oh, I know that voice.

Oh, no.

I know that voice.

How are you, love?

I have been working over
the last year as a bosun.

So coming back as a lead
deckhand is a little bit of a,

maybe kick in the guts.

- This is Ben.
- What’s happening?

Hey, Jared.
Pleasure to meet you.

Jared? Ben.
How you going, mate?

I know this boat like
the back of my hand.

It’s like a second home to me

and, you know, if those
walls could talk, man.

Oh, no.

We’re getting more
than we paid for.

Hey!

There we go.

She would tell some stories.

I’m going to put you in here.

Oh.

And then we’ll just jump
into uniform

and we’ll just get
this show on the road.

Looks like a dog’s breakfast
down there.

Could use a deckhand.

- Hello.
- Hello, hello.

- How are you?
- Good, how are you?

- Good, I’m Fraser.
- I’m Barbara. Nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you.
- Barbie.

- How’s it going?
- This is Jared.

Hey, Jared, Barbie.

- Pleasure to meet you.
- Pleasure to meet you.

- What’s your name again?
- Barbie.

- Barbie?
- Yeah.

Whoa.

Pants off.
Nobody look.

Just see if you’ve got
the correct sheets, etc,

- for both of you.
- I brought my own sheets.

I swear.

- That’s stunning.
- OCD runs deep.

People definitely
think I’m snobby.

I’ve been yachting
for six years.

I come from a good family, but
my dad always taught me to work.

And then with your money,

you buy all the stupid
sh... you like.

This bracelet’s tip money.

This bracelet is
hard work, okay?

You can’t take it away from me.

No man gave me this,
not my father.

I hustled this.

Looks cuter already.

Hey, how are you doing, man?

- Anthony, nice to meet you.
- What is this?

Chef Anthony.

- And like Anthony?
- Yeah, Anthony.

- What’s your name?
- Ben.

Doesn’t look too pleased,
does she?

Ing terrible.

- Hello, baby.
- Knock, knock.

- Hello.
- Hi.

How you doing?

Good, I’m Xandi.
Nice to meet you.

- Fraser, nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

Come with me.

Yes, baby.

- Hey.
- Ben.

- Barbie.
- Barbie?

Yeah.

Like as in the doll Barbie?

Yeah.

Really?
Awesome.

Okay.

Hello.

[vocalizing]

Yo, [bleep] it. I feel like
I’m on a merry-go-round.

I did about my A-circle
just now.

Shedding pounds,
like, real quick.

All right.

So you can get an understanding
of where I come from.

I’ve been in the industry
for 11 years now,

and I’ve been running
boats for six.

So this is really my first
kind of step back into,

like, a larger crew.

Yeah, yeah.

You know, I’m not shaking
in my boots,

but there are some cobwebs
I got to sweep out.

Yeah, no worries.

It’s a big boat.

I’ve been captaining
small boats,

so 10 years ago
was the last time

that I was on a boat this large.

From the zoo to this Serengeti.

I think the other two
are pretty green, man,

so we’re gonna have
our hands full.

Think that’s him there.

G’day, mate.

Hey, guys.

- Ben.
- Ben, Kyle.

Kyle, nice to meet you.
Welcome on board.

- Jared.
- Jared?

- Yes, sir.
- Kyle, nice to meet you.

- Is that a, like...
- Scotland, yeah.

Small Town, Scotland, Highlands.

Man, you’re gonna be
repeating yourself

on the radio quite a bit.

Ed.

- Hello.
- How are you?

- Fraser, nice to meet you.
- Kyle, nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you, Kyle.

- Nice to meet you.
- Ben, nice to meet you.

- What’s your name?
- Sunny.

- Sunny?
- Yes, like the sun.

- Welcome on board.
- Thank you.

Yeah.

- All right, cool.
- Sweet.

Hi.

A new bombshell
enters the villa.

- I’m Cat.
- Cat?

- Yes.
- Ben.

Thank you.

- Hello, Cat. Fraser.
- Hi.

- Let me take you down.
- Let’s see this thing.

- Let’s start up at the sun deck.
- All right, guys.

Which is, how the [bleep]
can we get up there?

This is massive.

I want, like, the big covers
rolled from back to forward,

you know, because
when we’re on anchor,

we’re gonna have a headwind.

And if you try to do it
any other way,

then you’re gonna be
flapping with a kite, dude.

- Hi.
- Oh, Hi.

- I’m Xandi.
- I’m Cat.

- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

This is my second shirt.
Look at this.

Oh.

All crew, all crew.

We have our inaugural crew
meeting in the Sky Lounge.

If all can meet
back there, please.

- Copy that.
- Copy from Barbie.

Let’s see what’s going on.

First family meeting.

Hello.

Want to a scoot down
just a little bit.

Getting all our sweat on here.

All right.

- Ahoy.
- Hello, hello.

Welcome aboard, everybody.

I’m Captain Kerry.
I’ve seen your resumes.

You haven’t seen mine.

My first job was

on a parasailing boat
as an electrician.

From there, I went to
ferries, landing barges.

You know, along the way,
I found yachting.

And I’ve gone east coast
of Australia, North America,

North of Panama, crossing
through the Panama Canal.

On the med,
both coasts of Africa.

Been up to Norway.

Woo!

Captain, captain, yeah!

And my first time down here,
in Grenada.

So I’m looking forward to it.

Look, we all have good days
full of rainbows and unicorns.

All right, and then we have
some bad days, right?

Your physical safety is
very important to me

and so is your mental health.

I will not pick on you
for having a bit of a sook.

All right.

- What’s a sook?
- A sook, a cry.

A whinge.

Translate.

He’s a translator over here.

So, you know, having
a down day, come see me.

In saying that, don’t take
my kindness for weakness.

All right. I will... ing
turn in a heartbeat,

all right, if you start
taking the piss.

I give all my crew
respect up front.

But as soon as you disrespect
me, you’re out of here.

If you work hard,
you’ll be rewarded.

Work hard, you will be rewarded.

You [bleep] around,
you will be off the boat.

Guys, tomorrow we have pick up
at 12 for our first charter.

So we are going to sh**t off
and bust it out.

- Sounds great.
- All right.

- Thanks, Captain.
- Thank you.

Interior, can you just stay
for a quick meeting?

Take a leak as well.
Where’s the toilets?

Well, welcome aboard, girls.

- Thanks.
- Thank you.

I am not going to allocate any
stripes for the first charter.

I am going to see
how everyone performs.

This has to be an enjoyable
process for us all.

So I would love us
all to get along.

But if we don’t, go.

Because I won’t stop you.

Last year was tough.

I had two stews that absolutely
could not get along.

- I hate you.
- Get out!

Seriously, please!

You’re a... ing bully, Arissa!

Are you... ing kidding me?

I gave people too many chances.

And this year it’s going
to be different.

So I’ve stumped my foot there.

So we’ll get to our
schedule tomorrow.

Today, I want the boat to
be absolutely immaculate.

We’ll have cabins
finished today.

- Copy.
- Okay, cool.

All right. So you guys
want to come over here.

To start, disengage.

You can...

Undo the handbrake.

You see how now it’s on?

All the way it’s on the...

- The capstan?
- Yeah.

Now it’s ready to drop.

Put it down.

Kerry, Kerry, Jared.

Yeah, go ahead, mate.

Yeah, sorry.
I just didn’t want to alarm you.

I’m just going over
anchor operations.

Yeah, I did notice that, mate.

Next time, be sure
to notify me beforehand.

Roger that.

First mistake.

First? Oh, sh...

There should be
no surprises on a boat.

The captain should be
aware of everything.

Ah, for [bleep]’s sake.

Communication is key.

I need to keep an eye on him.

But it’s early days.

People make mistakes,
let’s simmer on it,

and hopefully it improves.

It’s a lot to take in,

but, you know, we’ll get
it pretty quick, I think.

Does anybody know
what time it is?

I know, time is running
so... ing fast.

I know.

[bleep] a duck.

Man, I’m working up a sweat,
are you?

I’m working up a sweat, yeah.

Talk about smashing it out.

That’s not the cutest thing
I’ve ever seen,

but that’s why
we’ve got pillowcases.

That’s why I bring
my own pillows.

Oh, my God, good for you.

So, your drinks experience?

- I have my bartending class.
- Okay.

So you know what you’re
talking about.

Which was a whole week of
seven hours a day, so...

Just impress me, basically.

I will.

- Thanks, Fraser.
- No worries.

What do you want
to use for washing?

Absolutely, I’ll put
a mitt in there.

I’m very keen on
washing by hand.

Hey, are there any
nozzles in there?

You guys work with dildos?

You guys know what
I’m talking about?

- Whoa.
- The black things?

No, not the black things, no.

It’s a hose connected with a...

- And a back massager.
- Yeah.

I come from Quebec,

and when I’m in Quebec,
I always speak in Frenglish,

so it’s a mix of both,
French and English.

I kind of stutter my words,
trying to look for my words.

The hose with a male...

- I don’t know.
- Coupling. Go on.

And then it makes, like,
soft water,

instead of, like,
spraying it everywhere.

You can just, like,
run that down.

No?

I’ve been in the yachting
industry for about a year now.

You’ve got to toughen up

to have tough tits on deck.

You know what I’m talking about?

We call them dildos.
I don’t know. No?

[laughing]

Smells so bad.

So, Xandi, you were most
recently a chief stewardess,

- weren’t you?
- Yes.

You’re just taking some
time off from it?

Ah, yes.

- And you’re going back?
- Yes.

- Lucky you.
- Yeah.

When you wash a boat,
it’s simple ass.

- We just go from top.
- You start at top.

And then you go from
forward to back.

What the [bleep]?

All right, let’s get wet.

Are we all single?
Are we in relationships?

What’s the hot goss?

So, not trying to be in
a relationship.

Well, we’re the single ladies,
surely, aren’t we?

- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.

All right, guys, a big question.
Is everybody single?

- Yes, sir.
- Ing yeah.

And you?

- Do you guys want to know?
- Yeah.

We had an amazing week,
honestly.

It was great to see
each other again.

Long story short,
she cheated on me.

I definitely don’t want
to get as involved

as I was last season.

Maybe I’m wounded and, yeah,

maybe a little bit wiser.

Jaded old man.

Yeah, I’m single.
I’m like the definition.

If you look up the dictionary,
you’ll see my name next to it.

Coming up...

Have you got any
specifics for anchoring?

One sh*t.
Release, release, release.

We got about two and a
half sh*ts in the water.

I asked for one sh*t when
I was talking with Ben.

It’s crazy, we all
speak English,

but different English accents.

We all speak broken English.

Exactly.

Heads of department,
can we meet in the crew mess

to do our guest preference
sheet meeting?

Copy.

All right guys, so kicking off,

Brian and Rebecca Bailey
are newlyweds

who love to spend
every minute together

in their home state of Texas.

Brian is a
chief investment officer

for a private equity fund.

Rebecca works in finance
for an oil and gas company.

Additional guests,

Brian and Rebecca’s oldest
and dearest friends.

They travel a lot,
no strangers to luxury.

Night one, they request
a multi-course dinner.

Night two, an ’80s Miami dance
party for Leanne’s birthday.

And it’s Lenay.

- What did I say?
- Leanne.

Leanne.

Whoa, I better get
that right real quick.

All guests except Michelle

want to take kayaks to the
mangroves after breakfast.

I’m going to show you where
that’s going to be as well.

Okay, yeah.

I love eco-tourism.

And one of the best parts
of Grenada with that

by the water is kayaking
through the mangroves.

Get up close and personal.

You see local wildlife.

Juvenile fish that are
hiding from the bigger fish.

The turtles.
It’s absolutely beautiful.

Afterward, all guests would
like to go to beautiful beach.

Man, your guys are going
to be hands full.

We’ll smash it.
Fantastic. Thank you, Captain.

You’d think a boat like
this would have

perfectly fitted pillows.

I’ll help you so that
this is quick

so you can get on other things.

You’re very kind.

So how are your
housekeeping skills?

- You do?
- Yeah.

I know I’m quick and
detail-oriented in cabins.

I love that.

So you won’t have
to worry about that.

I love making beds.

Most people think the service
is the fun port,

but service sucks
most of the time.

I would rather put my hand
in the blender

than make small talk
with guests sometimes.

Quite a**l about housekeeping
and I love beds.

Good to know.

Been a chief stew
for two years now.

And I am actually very excited
not to be chief stew.

I deserve a little break.

Someone else can be
the chief bitch.

I do.
Are you kidding me?

That’s the best part
about doing cabins.

You guys k*lled it.

Where are you from?

Like, just outside of Montreal.

I’m not really the
Ask Questions type of...

Well, I mean...

What are you doing on
a first date then?

I mean, you’re gotta have,
like, good small talk.

Yeah, exactly.

Like, you
can’t just be, like, basic.

Like, what’s your
favorite color?

I’ll find that out when
we move in together

and pick our paints, you know?

Wow, that’s kind of quick.

I would put those
down in threes.

Ooh, no.

This is a faster turnaround time

than I’ve ever been used to.

I’m a private yacht stewardess
in Southern California.

I come from, like, a really,
like, coastal city, beach vibes.

And so this is gonna
be quite gnarly.

How’s it coming along?

I’m feeling good, man.

I think everybody here has
got a good work ethic.

Sweet.

Yeah, we’ve washed
the whole boat

and everything upstairs
is covered.

You know, make sure you guys
don’t work too late.

We get a good rest tonight.

- Thanks, cap.
- Thanks, man.

Oh, that’s adorable.

Well done, Cat.

Guys, have some dinner, please,

and then you can all knock off.

- Thank you.
- Well done.

Ole.

- What’s for dinner?
- Sandwiches.

Yay, we get food.

So you brought some
vegemite, huh?

Mate, I didn’t.

I’ll check the cupboards.

You don’t live in
Oz anymore, do you?

You live in West Palm,
don’t you?

Yep.

Are you there with your
partner or with kids?

You know, I went and did a job
that I could focus on myself.

I put my earbuds in,
listened to self-help work.

I was there for my
kids every day,

and I could get myself better.

Yep.

I have a
three-and-a-half-year-old

in Alaska,

so I’m trying to figure out how
I can get closer to all that,

you know what I mean?

My daughter’s gorgeous,
gorgeous, gorgeous.

Unfortunately, because
of the distance,

we only speak twice a
week on a video call.

It is my most cherished moment

of each and every week.

All right, guys, get some rest.
See you tomorrow.

There she goes.

Huh?

This is the best cabin ever.

Oh, my... ing God, what a day.

[alarm beeps]

What the [bleep]!

[yawns]

It’s too early for this sh...

Interior, interior, can we meet
me to the main saloon, please?

What time do you have
to be out, at 7:30?

- Yeah.
- Oh, okay, good.

Good morning, girls.

I’m going to have you, Barbie,

predominantly on
service this trip.

That means you’re also
going to be on lates.

Cat, I’m going to have you
on the floating shift,

so you’re going to
help with lates.

And then, Xan, I’m going
to have you on earlys,

which includes breakfast
and housekeeping and laundry.

Barbie, she’s quite polished,
she’s bubbly, and she’s fun.

I can see her in service 100%.

Cat, she’s got a yes attitude,
so we’ll keep her floating.

Xandi is thorough.

I’ve put her on
housekeeping and laundry,

because that’s the core
of the ship.

She’s happy with it.

I am the happiest chief alive.

I look forward to seeing
all of your work.

Showtime.

- Let’s smash it this morning.
- Okay.

- Copy.
- Good work.

Thank you.

- Morning, mate.
- Good morning, Captain.

How are you today?

Amazing.
How do you sleep?

Great.

Look fresh as a daisy, mate.

- I know, right?
- Yeah.

All crew, all crew, we’ve
got some provisions here

if anyone’s able to help.

All this is yours, just so
we don’t get it mixed up.

Oh, my God.

Mother... er.

God damn it.

I have a dead body in here.

You guys are great.
Thank you.

Oh, my God.
We’re running behind.

My chicken, boom.

French, French.

Phew.

[bleep]

Come on, baby, come on.

We’re switching our turbos
on today, huh?

Salt from my sweat,
stinging my eyeballs.

Oh, my God.

Hey, Cat.

Hey.

At this point,
we need to get a vac.

Let’s start with the master.

- Perfect.
- Thank you.

What the [bleep]?

When we do the cushions,
we want to make sure, like,

all the zippers are down.

Yeah.

Barbs.

Have we got chilled plastic
waters in there?

Yeah.

Here, there’s, like,
a literal mountain.

Oh, stunning.

And then the back
there is soda water.

Okay, fantastic.

God, that looks great,
doesn’t it?

I’m from Argentina.

And I respect him.

He didn’t have that much.

He got a job at Coca-Cola
and climbed the ladder,

working really, really hard.

I always want to make
my dad proud, always.

And that’s why I want
to be the best stew.

I go to so many nice hotels,
so, like, I know good service,

just because I get good service.

Do you know what Cat’s doing?

She’s vacuuming still.

How...
Okay, sure.

Is it a good time to do
a walk around, then?

- Yeah, let’s go for it.
- All right.

I can’t run the entire boat
by myself.

So, a good crew can make a
bad captain look good,

and a bad crew can make
a good captain look bad.

We should get,
if we’ve got any cleaner wax,

just get that a quick hit there.

It’s just marked.
I think that’s water spots.

You keep on that.

I like that
you’re putting the zippers down.

- Okay.
- I did mention that to them.

Yep, excellent.
All right.

Are you ready for walk around?

Yeah, you want to do it with me?

Yeah.

All right, so first thing I
notice when I came in here...

Yes.

Is the smudges on those mirrors.

Yeah.

For guest’s arrival,
let’s have that looking nice.

Yes.

Some of the sinks,
some are closed, some are open.

So, I don’t know which
way you want it.

We’ll do open.
Very nice.

Good.

Okay. Good.

Very happy.
Thanks.

I think the guests
will be as well.

- I’ll make sure of it.
- Yeah.

All crew, all crew, one hour
to guest arrival.

T minus one hour.

I need to jump in this shower.

I... ing stink.

Whose are these?
Oh, these are mine.

Sh...

You beauty.

Suck it in.

Can you just bring
that together?

Just don’t move very much.

All crew, all crew, let’s
head back to the aft deck.

Meet these guests.

I need someone to get
the welcome towels.

Okay, I’ll grab them.

Up... the towels are in there.

Ing hell.

So, I’ll have you hold these?

Okay.

I think I might have
somebody else’s pants.

Yeah, they look really
big on you.

How’s them pits doing?

They’re glistening.

[laughing]

Good day.
How are you?

I’m Kerry.
I’m your captain.

- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you.
- How are you doing, I’m Kerry?

Bryan.
Pleasure.

- Cat.
- Cat.

Nice to meet you.

Save the best for last.

- Of course. Welcome aboard.
- Thank you so much.

- Cheers, y’all.
- Cheers, y’all.

- Woo!
- All right.

I’d like to welcome you
all aboard the St. David.

My name’s Kerry.
This is my fantastic crew.

Fraser’s chief stew,
he will show you around.

All right, guys,
let’s get the luggage.

So this is the bunny pad.

This is a great
opportunity and area

to do any morning yoga or not.

Thanks, bud.
We’ll keep that in mind.

- [laughing]
- Holy dilly.

There’s always so much stuff.

The jacuzzi is right above
us here on the stairwell.

So just be aware.

So how do you all
know each other?

- Best friends.
- Is that the last one?

Yeah.

- [fabric tears]
- Ooh.

[laughing]

And then the master suite.

You’ve got wonderful views here.

And we can see through
the glass, right?

It’s not that kind of party.

Oh, OK.
Good to know you.

- Not yet.
- Not yet.

We’ve got some newlyweds,

and this is their boat
for the next few days.

They can get as dirty and
foul-mouthed as they’d like.

And now I’m moist.

And thank God I’m not
on housekeeping.

And let’s make our way upstairs.

So then here is
our wonderful bar.

We have some snacks that
are going to be out shortly.

Really lovely
to have you all on board.

Welcome, welcome.

Okay, guys,
let’s get to our lines.

Nice, Sunny.
Thank you, sir.

Cap, that’s all lines on
on the fore deck.

Copy, copy.

Grenada is a stunning location,

but it’s very, very challenging.

The winds are incredible.

A lot of reefs in the area,

many of them are not marked.

Are all lines off?

Yeah, captain, all lines clear.

This is not going to be
a pleasure cruise,

but I like it that way.

Oh, my God, we’re moving!

I operate in feet.

Distance starboard!

I’ve got no idea
what’s going on.

Distance to clear
is three meters.

Two and a half, actually,
two and a half.

I have to translate it and
transfer it into meters,

which isn’t so hard.

I’ll clear the vessel in
two and a half meters

or I’m two and a half meters
away.

Two and a half meters parallel.

But multiplication on the
fly with all the stress,

you know, it has the very big
potential to go tits up.

You are now clear to swing.

Clear to swing on your
starboard quarter.

Okay, guys, I’m all good here.

You focus on getting
the boat put back together

and then stand by.

- Okay.
- Ooh.

Look at the waves crashing
against the cliff over there.

Look at that.

So beautiful.

All right.

Interior, interior.

Can you get into your
blues, please?

Are these mine?

Are those his?

Very professional.

Have you got any specifics
for anchoring?

- One sh*t.
- Thanks, Cap.

Don’t take a selfie
on the table, cos...

Oh!

Okay.

Man overboard.

[laughing]

I’m gonna start putting
the anchor.

- Yeah, yeah, good.
- All right.

Uh, [bleep].

I’ll sit them in
the next 10 minutes.

Okay.

Ready for freeze-pull drop.

Release, release, release.

All right, all right, all right.

All right, chain stopped.

We got about two and a
half sh*ts in the water.

Sh...

All right, okay, I guess we got
a communication error there.

I asked for one sh*t when
I was talking with Ben.

One sh*t, not two and a half.

I apologize. I did not receive
that transmission.

No.

If unsure of how much
chain to put out

and I haven’t informed you,
you need to ask me.

[bleep]

Let’s start pulling
up some chain.

I’ve got too much chain out.

And then Jared comes down

and he’s like, I’m gonna
go do the anchor.

And now he’s just blaming me
for not telling him.

Dude, you’re a bosun, you should
be figuring it out yourself.

[bleep] that.

I asked for one sh*t when
I was talking with Ben.

Not two and a half.

I apologize. I did not
receive that transmission.

No.

Let’s start pulling
up some chain.

Lifting chain now.

If you deploy the
chain too quickly,

the chain itself will
fall over the anchor.

And when the boat moves back,

it can dislodge the anchor.

You drag that anchor,
you hit the rocks,

someone could get hurt.

Thankfully, you can correct it.

It makes us look like
it’s amateur hour.

That’s one sh*t.
One sh*t at the waterline.

Straight up and down.

All right, so let’s
lock it down there.

Ready for some food,
for some nibbles?

Yeah, no nipples.
Not yet.

I’m going to go to
tender out first.

Oh, this is fantastic.

Beautiful.

We can probably start plating.

Copy that.

Oh, my God, that looks so good.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Look at your chicken,
your special chicken.

This looks like Taco Bell.

Mm-mm.

Now, this is delicious.

It is amazing.

I’m going to leave you
two on service, okay?

Sweetness, run down to Cabins.

- Yes.
- And just check their heads.

Well done, Bosie.

Can I swap rooms?

I’m not offering up Brian.
He’s... ing me tonight.

No, we have a couch,
but wear earplugs.

I’m getting a lot of sexual
energy off these guests,

and I feel like I can
give them a good time.

You want to snuggle with Donovan
or you want to snuggle with Tom?

Not as good of a time as they’re
going to be giving each other,

but a good time.

Are we all watered and are
we drinking something?

Is everybody lubricated
properly?

I’m moist.

I thought he was going to
tell me over the radio

when I was dropping it
how many sh*ts.

Yeah, thanks for throwing me
under the bus, though.

What do you mean?

When he said, I told Ben this.

- You go, I told Ben this.
- I didn’t hear that.

Oh, I didn’t hear that.

And you’re like, yeah,
I didn’t get that info.

My bad, bro.

I thought he said,
I didn’t hear Ben at all.

But if you’re up on the bow,
ready to drop the anchor,

you check in with the bridge on

how they want the
procedures to go ahead.

He should know that.

Maybe he’s nervous.

I’m trying to give him
the benefit of the doubt.

Charter one, we’re just getting
all the cobwebs out.

And it’s like, what
do you say, bitch?

I think it’s a term of
endearment.

Right?

Oh, nasty.

I think you need to go
a little bit more

aft with the crane, mate.

I’m going to do damage to
the paint like this.

- Hold on.
- Oh, hi.

Hello.

Welcome.
We made it in one piece.

Yes.

Yeah, and we’re all from Texas.

I ain’t from Texas, man.

You’re from Texas.

I’m from the south as well.

The deep south.

Hey!

Just a little bit more,
and we won’t touch nothing.

Coming aft.

All right.
All right, cool.

And we’re good to go.

- And how’s the service been?
- Incredible.

All right, everyone
have a great afternoon.

Catch you later.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my goodness.
Oh, thank you.

This is a deconstructed pad thai

on a bed of or on
the back of a lobster.

Just gorgeous.

Mmm.

- Oh, wow.
- It really is perfect.

Wow.

Well done.
Seriously.

I’m really impressed
by chef’s food.

However, galley looks
like a b*mb’s gone off.

But he’s new.

And I think in due course
with the right timing,

he’ll be able to perfect that.

If not, we’re... ed.

That was incredible.

I was starting to
have an orgasm.

We do a Harry Met Sally
situation,

I’m leaving the table.

Can you help me clear my love?

Yes, of course.

When are we jumping off the...

Right now.

Go put a bathing suit on,
darling.

You want to go sit outside?

Yeah, I do.

This is jump time.

- Oh, hell.
- This is really high up.

Holy sh...

Ooh. Okay.

One, two, three.

- Jump!
- Go.

Oh, sh...

Woo!

Go, engine, Holly.
Give me some tit.

You got this, babe.

- Go.
- Woo!

- Crazy [bleep].
- Idiots.

I’m just going to do a
walk through the boat.

Interior, interior.

Can I have someone please
down to starboard aft cabins?

On my way.

- Just checking the bathrooms?
- Yes.

All right.

My big thing is guests
come back, paper folds.

I think part of it’s missing.
The paper folds.

The rest are quite pretty.

Perfect.
I’ll get on it.

Everything else looks fantastic.

Okay. Thank you.

I’m glad your balls are okay.

I need those tonight, darling.

Can you just clear
the pantry completely?

- Clear?
- Yeah.

I mean, it just needs
to be immaculate.

Okay.

So, I’m going to have
you on late tonight.

So, I’ll have you go on break.
Like, like now.

Okay.

You good?
Yeah, yeah, you good?

Rock and roll.
Cool, yeah, yeah.

Can I bother you to do
me a favor

whenever you have a second?

Do we have napkins anywhere?

Yes, we have like tiny napkins.

It’s downstairs.

Square would be great.

Could you get nine of
them for me?

Yes.

And since you’re going down,

you might as well just take
this to the bar already.

Okay.

On a private vessel,
it’s like, you’re in charge.

You get to choose
what you get to do.

- Okay.
- Cool.

On this boat, it’s like
no one really knows me.

I’m just there to get all the
stuff behind the scenes done.

It sucks.

- Cat, Cat, Fraser.
- Fraser, this is Cat.

I’m heading back up
to the top pantry

to finish up those dishes.

Okay, cool.

If we could do that as soon
as possible, that’d be amazing.

Already up here.

And the crane goes out,

and the crane comes in,
and the crane goes out,

and we do it all again.

Cat, can you do me a favor?

- What’s up?
- Are you busy?

What are you doing?

Yeah, I need to finish this.

I’ve been putting it
off way too long.

Okay.

Because Fraser, like, really
needs me to finish this.

Okay, cool.
Thank you.

Cat, she’s just, like,
super, super slow for me,

so I’m not loving it.

I’m in a position where
I’m helping everybody out.

I know I can’t help her as much
as she might want me to.

It’s just annoying.

It’s just, like, girl,
like, pick it up.

Coming around.

All right, we’re in.

Coming up...

Cat, Cat, Fraser.

Are you able to go
on your break?

Yes, I can go right now.

Great.

There you go.

- Oh, that’s great.
- Yeah, you nailed it.

Oh, I’m so exhausted.

- You okay?
- Yeah.

What’s up?

Oh, my goodness, sorry.

What’s wrong, darling?

- Like, I...
- You feeling a bit overwhelmed?

Like, I didn’t even
want you to see me.

What’s wrong darling?

I don’t know if I’m like showing
you how much I can do

because I’m in this
like leverage position, and...

Don’t feel insecure.

- Okay.
- Truly.

Yeah, this is like a big
boat with a big crew.

Of course.

It’s definitely a learning
curve for sure.

Thick skin.
We need thicker skin.

I don’t know.

I just hope my work’s like
not just going unnoticed.

It absolutely is not.

Don’t worry about it.

- Yeah.
- Hug it out.

Have a drink,

and then I’ll see you when
your break is up.

Thank you.

No worries.

[sighs]

[bleep]

Why did Brian and Todd
make us jump off the boat?

Let’s bring this thing in.
I’m sick of looking at it.

- My ass still hurts.
- Right?

It so hurts.

Wait ’til later.
Ha ha ha.

- You wanna have a go at this?
- Sure.

Stick it around ya.

Learning, I’m all here for it.

That’ll pivot to
port and starboard.

But it’s actually a little hard
to be taught things,

by Ben because he’s eye-candy.

- It’s fun, huh?
- Yeah, it’s fun.

You let all the other people
do the hard work

while you’re there.
Just chillin’.

Yeah, see?

I’m definitely interested
in both girls and guys.

It’s a spectrum, right?

I’m a lot more hetero than
I am gay or bisexual.

I love men.

I love badonkadonks.

I don’t think I could
live without it, honestly.

My job to make you look good.

That’s what it is.

How’s everything, captain, good?

Good, mate. Good.

How are you finding the galley?

Good, pretty good, actually.

I mean, you’re doing good man.

It’s a lot of pressure
first day.

I’m glad you’re here, mate.
I’m glad you’re here.

Thank you, sir.

Mate, these surely are
not my pants.

You’re having lot of problems,
aren’t you?

I’m so good at my job.
It’s not even normal.

I’d go to all your rooms...

Steal your bank cards,
the precious goods.

Family heirlooms are
my favorite to steal.

Just don’t touch my crystal
because I will...

Oh, actually touch it,
you will pay the wrath.

I suffer from real bad anxiety.

I always have, I get nervous and
like I have tried everything.

And crystals and sage seem
to be doing the trick.

This is clear quartz and
it’s known to be a healer.

Aventurine green, this is
for luck and for prosperity.

So maybe we can all touch it
to increase the little tips.

Did your family actually
have an heirloom?

Yeah, my family is descendant
of h*m* peasants.

All right, I’m going
to go get ready.

Oh, here they are.

Ha ha, who’s pants
have I been wearing?

Have enough cleaves out yet?

I do, I do, thank you.

I love you.

- What do you want me to do?
- Let’s go have dinner.

- All right.
- You know what?

My room doesn’t feel so bad
now I’ve seen this.

They live like squatters.

What’s that, beach setup?
Is that tomorrow?

Yeah, I still got to make,

I still got to make a list
for you for the night.

And I still got to make a list
for Sunny, for the morning.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, do it.

Go for it, dude.

I’m going to keep getting
us in a good spot.

- Yeah, man.
- Do you need help?

Um, if you want to do some
dishes, that would be fantastic.

That is totally good with me.

Because since lunch,
I was like everywhere.

Yeah, so you think you’ll be
on time with everything?

Well, I will try, you know,
I do my best.

That’s what I meant to do.

You need to put these little
preference sheets up here.

Got to say what’s
happening today,

what’s happening tomorrow,

and what’s happening
the day after.

And then your jobs list
will be here, mate.

And that’s where it should be.

So I’m going to try
and find a whiteboard.

Yeah, I wish there was a
big... ing TV to watch.

I completely agree with you.

I just know what it takes
for it to be successful.

And right now,
after today, mate,

like, that can’t happen again.

Day one, not a good start.

Jared is kind of a bit nervous.

I think he’s just been out
of the game for so long

on big boats that he’s
forgotten what it’s like.

I just want him to lean on me
for support of anything.

But at the same time,
this is a big boat, dude.

You’ve got to really
perform otherwise,

you’re going to find
yourself on the dock.

I’m sorry, but I feel dumber
when I’m around him already.

Coming up...

We got really quiet.

When you put good food
in our mouth...

Well, I’ll take a d*ck
that tastes like this

every day of the week.

Oh, there it is.

Oh, my gosh.
Ew.

I will suck all kinds of
[bleep] if it’s that good.

I know.

We can start
whenever you’re ready.

Yes, sir.

- Roll that up, yeah.
- Roll it up.

I’ll take you up this
way if that’s okay.

It’s crazy. I’m looking
for something every time.

How beautiful is this?

Lovely.

- How do you do that?
- This is so pretty.

They’re at the table.

Xan, Xan, Fraser.

So we’ve got three courses and
then we’ll have the dessert.

I’ll do the bed if you want
to start the bathroom.

Okay.

How fast is it going
to be to smash out?

I’m going to do my best.

Tick, tock.
Tick, tock.

All right, let’s get
on to the next.

They’re going to finish
this very quickly.

Yes, sir.

Here we go.

Beef carpaccio with truffle oil.

Thank you.

How’s that?

Oh, wow.

We got really quiet.

Well, you put good food
in our mouth.

Yeah.

Well, I’ll take a d*ck
that tastes like this

every day of the week.

Oh, there it is.

I will suck all kinds of [bleep]
if it’s this good.

- Sh...
- Oh my gosh.

Ew.
Gross.

Chef, I’m about to clear, okay?

What? Already?

Thank you very much.

Sh...

Fraser, Fraser, Xandi?

That’s a wrap on cabins.

Okay.
I want you to go down.

Cat.
Let’s focus on laundry.

Where’s the entree?

It’s on its way.

It’s taking a little
bit of time.

Ing would be.

Please, just very quickly.

[bleep]

Welcome to hell.

Oh, my God.

More lobster.

So it’s the pan-seared wahoo,
a risotto, and lobster.

It looks nice, absolutely.

I’m going to the restroom.
Pardon me.

How was your day?

Absolutely mental.

Can I clear that for you?

Was it good?

Everything has been delicious.

I’m so pleased.

[sighs]

As a leader, the way I like
to manage

is through mutual respect.

I’m not going to start this
charter season off,

where I’m going to micro-manage.

But bosun’s made a few mistakes.

I’m not... ing Jared.

Chef’s behind.

Yeah, I think they’re all, like,
a bit drunk and a bit tired.

This is a brand new crew to me.

I’m getting to know everybody.

The jury’s still out,

but I’ll change you out
if you can’t do your job.

Barbie, Barbie, Cat.

Give me one second, please.

Jared, do you have that
list for Kyle yet?

I’m working on it.

Chef, Chef, Fraser.

This food needs to come now.

Man, this is a mess.

This season on Below Deck...

♪ Row, row, row your boat ♪

[bleep] you guys for making me
do this all by myself.

♪ Gently down the stream ♪

I woke up from my nap
and I was like,

where am I?

This is way better than Chili’s.

♪ Merrily merrily merrily ♪

You’re gonna be a good stew
and you’re gonna get along.

I can’t have people on deck

who can’t tell me what
the [bleep]’s going on.

Call your distance.

I’m getting no information.

Starboard Fenders!

No, no, no, no, no.

Pleasure was all yours.

I’ll see you later.

One crew.

One family, b*tches.

I’m so sorry.

Oh, thank you.

Gross.

Good God, this is dirty, eh?

I think it’d time for
a shower, a shave.

A little misbehave.

Ruff!

Stephen wants a
New Year’s kiss from you.

I can’t kiss a guest.

Yes.

Oh!

What happens in Grenada
stay in... ing Grenada!

Oh, very smooth.

[screaming]

It’s... ing Fraser.

Really?

[bleep] you, Ben.

You think I’m a... ing joke?

I feel disrespected
in many ways.

Where the [bleep] are
my stews the whole season?

I am so... ing mad.

It’s a total disregard
of my authority.

I never saw that coming.

♪ Merrily, merrily
Merrily, merrily ♪

I think this boat has a curse.

Go [bleep] yourself.

♪ Life is but a dream ♪