02x14 - Everybody Was Best-Friend Fighting

[bunniefuu]

Miley, unless you wanna do
sound check in front of an audience,

you best make like a
cow and m-o-o-o-ve.

What the heck takes
you girls so long?

Wig. Makeup.

Wardrobe. Bling. Bling.

And then you hate it

and gotta start all over again.

Oh, good. You
guys are still here.

Yeah, and trying hard not to be.

So, whatever it is you're
here for, make it quick.

We don't have time
for another "bling" crisis.

Well, I was just coming to
wish Miley luck at the concert...

Uh, which I won't
be going to... Again.

Oliver, you know if you want a
ticket, all you have to do is ask me.

Oh, great. Can I have 3? One
for me and my 2 best friends?

Ohh. Heh. Wait a minute.

They'll already be there,

backstage, where
I wasn't invited...

Again.

Dang it, Oliver. This
is my favorite outfit,

and now you're
getting guilt all over it.

Oh, don't worry.

We'll open the
windows in the limo

and it'll blow right off.

Let's go.

Oh, sure. Make jokes.

I'll go home and
laugh at them alone...

Again.

Well... Miley! Conference.

You're not actually

thinking about this, are you?

Well...

He's never been
backstage to anything.

I know this is kind
of our special thing.

And... you might be
kind of jealous. But...

Jealous?!

Heh! I am not... Jealous.

Yes, you are.

I am not talking to you.

Look. I just don't want
you to be embarrassed, ok?

And let's face it.

He's just not as sophisticated
as Lola luftnagle...

International jet-setter. Bam!

Oh, and I'm embarrassing.

Fine. You're in. Ha!

What?!

I meant to do that.

♪ Hey, yeah ♪

♪ make some noise,
make some noise ♪

♪ make some noise ♪
♪ hey, hey ♪

♪ make some noise ♪

♪ hey ♪

♪ hey, yeah ♪

Hey. Has Oliver gotten here yet?

No. He texted me he's
having a little trouble

putting together a disguise.

Heh! This ought to be good.

Will you relax?

I'm sure everything's
gonna be fine.

Good evening.

Let's pump some
blood into this party.

Come on.

♪ You get the limo out front ♪

♪ ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ hot styles, every
shoe, every color ♪

♪ yeah, when you're famous ♪

♪ it can be kind of fun ♪

♪ it's really you ♪

♪ but no one ever discovers ♪

♪ who would have
thought that a girl like me ♪

♪ would double as a superstar? ♪

♪ You get the best
of both worlds ♪

♪ chill it out, take it slow ♪

♪ then you rock out the show ♪

♪ you get the best
of both worlds ♪

♪ mix it all together ♪

♪ and you know that it's
the best of both worlds ♪

♪ ooh, yeah, yeah ♪

A vampire? Really?

Was your wolfman
costume in the cleaners?

Will you relax?

I'm sure everything's
gonna be fine.

Stop enjoying this.

Hey, this is the best I
could do on short notice.

And if I was invited earlier,
I would have had time to...

grow some fangs?

Oh, I forgot.

Fix him.

Why can't you fix him?

Once again, give it up
for Hannah Montana!

I'm a little busy right now.

- Thank you! I love you, too.
- Good night, everybody!

Hannah! Hannah!

So, where's count dork-ula?

Well, thanks to your
brilliant friend Lola,

count dork-ula is no more-kula.

♪ Yo, I'm hanging with Hannah ♪

♪ 'cause I'm more
than just a fan-ah ♪

♪ with her posse I can mesh ♪

♪ 'cause I'm
freaky-freaky-fresh, word ♪

you couldn't have found a
costume that covered his mouth?

What is that beard
made of, anyway?

Armpit hair?

Heh heh.

You said nobody could tell.

Well, you're lucky I found this.

Oh, and by the way,

I kind of promised your
stage manager a raise.

It's all good, douggie d!

This is awesome.
Thank you so much.

Watching from
backstage was so... So...

If you say freaky-freaky-fun,
you're going home.

Sorry. I didn't
get the rule book.

Ok. Well,

Hannah backstage
rule number one...

Be calm, be cool, be... aah!

Anything but that.

Look! Look.

It's Guillermo Montoya!

Oh, he is so cute.

You are such girls.

He's the number-one
tennis player in the world

and all you care
about is how cute he is?

Yeah. What's your point?

Hannah Montana...
Guillermo Montoya.

You don't have to tell
me. I know who you are.

I know you know.
But I like saying it...

Montana, Montoya. Montana,
Montoya. You try it. It's fun.

- Montana, Montoya.
- Montana, Montoya.

Not you.

Who are your colorful friends?

Well, Guillermo,

this is Lola luftnagle.

You can call me "gui."

Gui!

Very smooth.

And gui, this is
my friend... Uh...

Mic stand.

Heh. Mike... stand... ly.

Mike Stanley... Iii.

And hopefully the last.

Hey, I'm stayin' and I'm playin'

till my hair starts a-grayin.'

my friends... aren't
they... Something?

Colorful. Uh... strange.

Heh heh. I love them.

And I loved you
on stage tonight.

You were like me
on the tennis court...

A tiger.

Grr!

Grr... uh, excuse me.

¿Bueno?

He thinks I'm a tiger.

He thinks I'm colorful. Ohh!

That just leaves
strange for you, Mikey.

¿Qué te pasa con vos?

Yo hablé con Kelly clarkson.
Ella me dijo que puede jugar.

No. Basta, basta.

Es UN desastre, te
digo, UN desastre.

Oh, a desastre.

Doesn't sound good...

Even with that adorable accent.

Is everything ok?

My celebrity partner
for this pro-am

sprained her thumb...
Speed texting.

Well, I just so happen to know

a celebrity with a wicked serve

and a very cute tennis outfit.

You're kidding.

Hannah, if... if you can play,

you're my new partner.

Ohh. Well, then
get ready to rally.

'Cause you're looking at
the girl that put the "tennis"...

In Tennessee.

Fantastic!

Heh heh heh!

You don't play tennis.

Yeah, and I don't
sky-dive, either.

But honey, I'd
jump out of a plane

with that boy any day.

Excuse me.

I'm very thirsty, and
I've lost my purse.

Wow. Sounds like
you have a problem.

Ahh. That's good.

Please, I can't pay.

But I'll gladly tell you
a fortune for a water.

I already have a fortune.

Why?

Because I don't give
stuff away for free.

You are an evil little boy.

Because your heart is cold,

terrible things
will happen to you.

Until you learn to be nice,

you are cursed.

What was that all about?

Some scam artist trying
to work me for a free water.

Now I'm..."Cursed."

Ooh.

That was a coincidence.

Wow!

How about them apples?

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ hey, yeah ♪

Uhh.

Uhh!

Uhh!

What in the Sam
heck are you doing?

I'm practicing my grunt.

All great tennis players
have a signature grunt.

Uhh!

Well, you sound like

uncle Earl doing
his annual sit-up.

Uhh!

Well, that ought
to do it for this year.

Daddy, come on.

I can't help it if I'm pumped.

I am gonna be serving it up
with the cutest guy in tennis.

And it's all for charity.

Yeah, I was getting to that.

By the way...

People from the
tournament called.

They can only
get you one ticket.

One ticket?

Now I've gotta choose
between Lilly and Oliver.

This ought to be fun.

Won't be no problem,
honey. Just tell them the truth.

They're your friends.
They'll understand.

She's taking me!
She's taking me!

Tell her! Tell him!

Way to go, dad.

Now, honey, I said
they'd understand.

I didn't say they'd
be happy about it.

I'm going!

No, I'm going!

Miley! Miley! Uhh!

Hey! Look on the bright side.

I think you found
your tennis grunt. Uhh!

♪ Oh ♪

Can I have another
napkin, please?

One per cone! You
got a problem with that?

Use your shirt!

You're mean!

You're mean.

Aah!

Caterpillar.

I almost ate that.

You know, I accidentally
ate a caterpillar once.

A week later...
Burped up a butterfly.

This isn't funny.

Flying caramel
apples, caterpillars...

That embarrassing oil stain
on the back of your pants.

What?!

¡Ay, mami!

I've been cursed!

Jackson, you gotta help me.

How? The fortune-teller
said that you were cursed

until you learned
how to be nice.

And I think we both know...

That's never gonna happen.

Oh, yes it is.

There you go,
sweetie. All better.

Yes! It worked!

I gotta go tell grandma
where I hid her teeth.

Bravo, bravo.

You were all brilliant
and worth every penny.

Hey, Jackson...

Can't wait for our
date on Saturday.

Me, too, Steph.

You did all this

just to get one Saturday off?

Of course not.

Hey, Jackson.

I'll see you next Saturday.

I did it for all the Saturdays.

So, what are you
doing in 2 weeks?

Oh, I don't see
me in your future.

You will kiss me or
you will be cursed.

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

Heads, I take Oliver...

Tails, I take Lilly.

Oh, come on.

Stop pushing! Unh!

Get out of my
way! Out of my way!

Hey, hey, Miley, I
made you a cake!

Look. Ohh.

It has hearts on it.

Real subtle...

Buttering her up with
cake with hearts...

Pathetic!

Hey, Miley, I made you a shirt.

She's taking me!

She's taking me!

Keep this up, and
neither of you are going

to the tennis
tournament tomorrow.

Are you guys talking about the
celebrity pro-am this weekend?

Not now, rico.

Because I have a
ticket I'm not using.

I said no... teeny-weeny
meany say what?

You can have it if you want.

What's the catch?

No catch.

I'm gonna be spending the day

petting homeless cats.

♪ Yeah... ♪

Ladies and gentlemen,
your guest umpire,

TV's favorite talk-show
host, Colin lassiter.

Thank you.

And welcome to the united
peoples relief celebrity pro-am.

Taking the court right now,

Andy roddick and his partner,

the adorable Dakota fanning!

And entering
from the north side,

Guillermo Montoya
and his partner,

in her first appearance
on the pro-am circuit,

america's songbird,
Hannah Montana!

Whoo! All right, Hannah! Yeah!

Sitting pretty in the city!

Will you have
some class, please?

Hey.

It sounds like you guys
are having a great time.

You wanna know how I know?

'Cause I can hear y'all
from all the way over there!

Sorry. Sorry.

The main thing is,

you guys are my
friends, you guys are here,

and you have awesome seats.

You're right. And it's all
freaky-freaky-freaky-freak...

Are you kidding me?

Oh, boy.

Hannah!

Excuse us, señorita.

One little, itty-bitty thing.

Guillermo Montoya never loses.

Never.

Never? Not even in
a little charity game,

you know, for fun? Hee hee!

Fun is for losers.

I'll take care of roddick.
You make Dakota cry

more than she did
in that big movie.

Hi, Dakota.

Aim for her head.

I'm not gonna aim for her... ok.

Psst.

Switch seats with me.

Gee, let me think. No.

But it's not fair.

You're lucky you're even
here in the first place.

Now, stop talking to me.

If you two are finished...

First service... Hannah Montana.

Hey, cutie with
the tomato head...

Turn off the cell phone.

Sorry, forgot to
put it on vibrate.

Hello?

Switch seats with me.

You're pathetic.

Switch seats with me.

Switch seats with me.

Switch seats with me.

Switch seats with
me. Knock it off!

Switch seats!

Love-15.

Could be a long day.

We're having some
fun now. Heh heh heh.

I thought you put the
"tennis" in Tennessee.

I guess I just
kind of left if there.

Heh heh heh heh...

Cute outfit, though, right?

Not cute enough.

Uh, honey,

the... the court's
over here. Heh heh.

Yeah, I know. Just a loose lace.

And we just take care of that...

Stop talking. You're
making me look bad.

I wouldn't know.

I can't see.

Well, boohoo freaky-freaky-hoo.

Excuse me, ma'am.

Do you mind to take off
your hat? My friend can't see.

Of course. I'm sorry.

Oh, sweet niblets.

Hey, rico. Nice sweater.

It's not a sweater.

I was petting cats all day.

Ah-ah-choo!

Hey, Jackson, you ready to go?

Uh, yeah. Just one sec.

Uhh.

Listen, boss, I gotta
leave a little early, so...

Don't give it a second thought.

Oh, but before you go,

I promised a couple
of wilderness girls

I'd find them a ride.

Their mom's car ran out of gas,

and they need to
deliver their cookies.

Well, rico, I'm
getting ready to... ohh!

I was a wilderness girl once.

Jackson, go ahead.
I mean, I'll wait.

Ok. I mean, 2 girls...
How long can it take?

Follow this nice man, kids.

I'll go help your mom
unload the rest of the truck.

The t-truck?

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ yeah ♪

It's been 45 minutes.
Switch with me.

No. I get the best seat
'cause I'm her best friend.

You mean her greediest friend.

Well, it's better than
being her dumbest friend.

Shh! Shh! Shh!

I'd rather be
stupid than greedy.

Of course. 'Cause you're stupid.

Will you two just
work it ou... T? Uhh!

I'm gonna remember that, Dakota.

Uhh.

Steph! You're still here!

Jackson, what's
that all over you?

Cookies.

I didn't drive fast enough, so the
wilderness girls threw them at me.

But on the plus side,

we don't have to buy
candy at the movies.

Do you like chocolate
butter clusters

or fat mints?

Oh, wait.

I promised that little boy
you'd get his kites off that tree.

What?

Oh, and then you have to help me

get a beached whale
back into the ocean.

But... oh, and also, there's...

Ah. Wait a minute.

I know exactly what's going on.

He hired you,
didn't he? Didn't he?!

Jackson! What's wrong with you?

That's right, cry!
Cry, you little faker!

Jackson!

You're... you're horrible!

Wait, Steph! You
don't understand.

I hired a fortune-teller to
scare rico into being nice.

Somehow he found out, and now
he's trying to get back at me. Steph!

Oh, Jackson, Jackson, Jackson.

All right, who told you?

Actually, you did, just now.

What?!

Up until then, I
didn't have a clue.

Now I got a lot of
mean to catch up on.

And you know what they say...

Cruelty, like charity,
begins at home.

♪ Ooh, yeah ♪

Well, with this serve,

roddick-fanning
could win the match

and... oh, let's face it.

My dog and I
could win the match.

I swear, if you
cost me this match,

I will go home tonight,
dress up like you,

and hit myself in the face.

You have got some
serious issues, my friend.

Excuse me.

Sorry. I lost a nickel.

Heh.

Keep it. Ahem.

What are you doing in my hair?

Sorry. My hand's stuck.

Well, get it out!

Help me!

Like I said, you're pathetic.

Ohh, great. Now I'm stuck.

Gosh. You and your stupid rings!

It's a lob. I got it.

No, no, no. I got it.

I got it.

I'm sorry I was... Jealous.

And I'm sorry we
made this your problem

when it was clearly Lilly's.

Ahem. And mine.

And next time Hannah has
one ticket, you should go.

No, you should go.

I said you.

No, you. You're impossible.

You're impossibler.

Hello!

Girl wrapped up in a net here.

♪ Yeah ♪

Ah, yes... very interesting.

What do you see?

You, dancing in
front of many people.

Fortune-teller say what?

I'm not much of a dancer.

I can see that, too.

But if you would just
bend your knees...

oh, that's it. Give it a rest,
woman. I'm out of here!

Oh, sure. Now
you move your feet.