08x01 - Stranger Danger

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Royal Pains". Aired: June 4, 2009 – July 6, 2016.*
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Series follows Hank Lawson, an unfairly discredited but brilliant diagnostic surgeon who winds up moving to the Hamptons with his brother as he works as a concierge to the uber rich and ultra elite.
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08x01 - Stranger Danger

Post by bunniefuu »

Previously on "Royal Pains"...

I want a baby.

I want a baby too.

My, uh, motility and
sperm count are low.

Low isn't no.

Hank, I want to apply to medical school.

Jeremiah came to see me a few days ago.

He was quite distraught.

I'm... experiencing regression.

I know.

I've either dated the wrong women

or screwed up the right ones.

Maybe the reason I can't
find the right person

is because of me.

It's not you. I'm just not
doing coffee these days.

I just got out of a not-so-good
relationship, so...

Right.

Will you marry me?

♪ ♪

- [PHONE RINGING]
- [HUMMING]

Hey.

Today, Henry, is a very big day.

I know, it is.

A day I never saw coming.

You and me both.

In fact, I have a new
outlook on the world.

Great. Do you have the rings too?

Yeah, right here in my pocket.

[PHONE BEEPS]

Ev, I gotta take this.

Okay, can I rehearse my
speech for you really quick?

[PHONE BEEPS]

Hello?

Henry?

Diana, how are you feeling today?

I'm on my way. Keep talking to me.

Where are you right now?

Diana! Are you in there?

Diana!

Sorry, Dr. Lawson,

you have not been granted entry.

[GRUNTS]

- [ALARM BLARING]
- Illegal entry! Illegal entry!

- Diana!
- Illegal entry! Illegal entry!


Diana.

Illegal entry! Illegal entry!

-Illegal ent...
- [BEEP]

Overdressed for a house call.

Maybe a bit, and I had to kick
Chas in the face to get in.

Sorry about that.

He had it coming. Smartass.

So I called the hospital
for your biopsy results,

and they said they had no record of it.

Maybe because you left
before they could do it?

[WHEEZING]

Your breathing is labored.

I need to do an ultrasound.

[WHEEZES AND COUGHS]

Diana, are you coughing up bl...

[WHEEZES]

Yeah, this is Hank Lawson.

I have a female with a hemothorax.

You're late.

And if you needed a splash of color,

I could've loaned you a pocket square.

Oh. This is why I'm late. I
had a patient emergency.

Whoa. Is the patient okay?

She's at the hospital, which
we need to discuss later.

Maybe I can go wash it off real quick?

Yeah, don't worry about the stain.

We have a bigger problem.

Anybody home? Where are my boys?

- Dad!
- Boys.

- Whoa.
- [LAUGHS]

Didn't you have a speaking
engagement in Vermont?

[LAUGHS] Oh, yes, I did,

and then I canceled it,
came here to the Hamptons,

'cause I've got something
so much more important.

What's more important than giving people

in Vermont something to do?

[LAUGHS] I got big news.

B-I-G, very big, big, big news.

Wow. Please don't tell us we
have another secret sibling.

No!

Ready?

I'm getting married!

- What?
- Married?

What... To Ms. Newberg, right?

Yeah, I popped the question last night.

- That's great.
- Wait, wait, wait.

You got in last night?
Why didn't you call us?

You know what, I wanted to, Hank.

You were on my mind,
but I got distracted.

I was in the moment. Well,
you know how that is.

Of course I do. When's the big day?

Day after tomorrow.

Whoa. Day after tomorrow?

What's the rush? That's
a little sudden, no?

Yeah, and yet it can't come soon enough.

I am so ready for this, boys.

- Dad!
- Come here. Bring it in.

And that is our schedule

for the first day of
this fine new summer,

which means HankMed's back.

Hank, are you sure
that you don't want me

to take your morning patient?

Yeah, totally sure. Why?

If you want to spend time

with your father before the wedding...

Yeah, no, Evan's already
got that covered.

Yeah, I'm throwing him a
little bachelor party

here tomorrow night.

It's gonna get crazy!

Trust me, it's not gonna get that crazy.

Trust me, I'm not worried about it.

You could be a little worried about it.

So it's business as usual
until then, right?

Okay, so then I have
time to find a dress.

Oh, you know what, don't
go overboard on wardrobe.

It's just gonna be a small,
intimate ceremony on the beach

with a nice little reception afterwards,

compliments of Paige.

I'm not worried about
finding something fancy.

I am worried about finding
something that I can fit into.

Oh, I actually have

an old camping tent you
can borrow if you'd like.

Ow! [SCOFFS]

I know you won't be
saying things like that

if I ever get pregnant.

When you get pregnant.

Divya, I'm happy to help
you shop for something.

Aren't you visiting your parents?

No, I postponed my trip a couple days.

I would never miss a wedding, and
definitely not this wedding.

Jeremiah, it's great to have you back.

Thank you for having me back.

I-I know that you're a little nervous

about resuming house calls
after your time at the lab,

but we're all here for you
if you need anything at all.

[CLEARS THROAT] Have you
heard from Johns Hopkins?

Not yet, but I did get into Stony Brook,

and, you know, it wouldn't be
so bad to stay on Long Island

for medical school, especially
since it doesn't start

until a month after my due date.

It wouldn't bad to have
you here on Long Island,

but I predict you will
get in, as you should.

[CHUCKLES]

Hospital server's down.

No one's getting emails. Ugh.

Can't someone in IT handle it?

Yeah, but I'm permanent
administrator now.

I can't lead if I don't show up, right?

Hey, Henry.

[CLICKS TONGUE]

What?

[CLICKS TONGUE]

Come over here for a second.

Oh, okay, you could
just say, "Come here."

I don't speak dolphin.

[SIGHS] Are you...

okay with this wedding?

Define "okay."

You saw how excited he is, right?

Yeah, I also saw how, when
I asked why the rush,

he never explained it.

Maybe because there is
no explanation, Henry.

[SCOFFS] It's Dad.

There's always an
explanation, always an angle.

All right, I will let you
investigate his motive,

but hopefully you'll
be ready to give him

the benefit of the doubt in
time for the bachelor party,

but either way, your alter ego, Dr.
Negative Energy,

not invited, not invited.

Okay.

- [DOORBELL RINGING]
-Greetings, Dr. Lawson.

My name is Chas.

Ms. Underhill is on the back deck.

Okay!

You don't have to yell, Dr. Lawson.

You may enter now.

- Uh, thank...
- You're welcome.


- Hi. Diana Underhill.
- I know who you are.

Hank Lawson. Nice to meet you. And Chas?

Complete Home Automation System.

Ah. He seems very bright.

No, he's a smartass. CPU
still needs some tinkering,

but the original model
is in 1 million homes.

He paid for this house and a
good chunk of my campaign.

Yeah, I read that profile of
you in the "Sunday Times,"

how you're hoping to trade
your seat in the boardroom

for a seat in the Senate.

Yup, I want to reinvent
the state of New York,

the way my company's
reinventing the home.

Well, I assume you didn't call

because you're suffering
from a lack of ambition.

No, I called because I have been

in around-the-clock fundraising mode

since the election season began,

and my left shoulder
is in a lot of pain,

I think from maybe
shaking too many hands.

You shake with your left hand?

No, I shake with both.

A woman needs a firm grip

to make people believe
that she can lead.

No, studies show that
anything less than 15 PSI,

and swing voters won't take
a handshake seriously.

Hmm, I haven't read that study.

I will trade you my copy
for a cortisone sh*t.

[CHUCKLES] Let's start
with an exam, okay?

[LAUGHS] All right.

So where's your campaign entourage?

They will be out here tomorrow.

Today I needed a break.

A break from running for office?

A break from staffers,
reporters, pundits.

I'm still running,

but from the peace and
privacy of the Hamptons,

so it was the perfect
day to call a doctor.

And why is that?

I can't let anyone see me
dealing with a medical problem.

Running for office as a
woman is hard enough

without people questioning my health.

Deep breath in.

- [INHALES DEEPLY]
- And out.

Again.

[INHALES DEEPLY]

Okay. Any shortness of breath?

Yeah, maybe a little.

Although my opponent would say
that I'm full of hot air.

[CHUCKLES] Well, I can't
really speak to that,

but medically, I'm not too
concerned at the moment,

though I'd like an MRI to rule
out a rotator cuff injury

and a full cardiac workup,

including a stress
test, just to be safe.

If they found out that I hurt
myself just working the crowds...

I assure you,

Hamptons Heritage will
respect your privacy.

I ordered champagne, lobsters,

and the florist is doing classic
but beachy arrangements.

They'll match the linens
I found perfectly.

Okay, but first, I need
your expert tasting advice.

Red velvet with cotton candy roses...

Yes.

Or vanilla maple

with "love" written in
strawberry frosting.

You're asking me to pick one of those?

Now you see my dilemma.

It's a big dilemma.
I'll help you with it.

I will take this taste test ASAP.

Okay, just try not to
eat the box itself.

I'm really impressed by how fast

you pulled all this together.

Just because a wedding is last minute

doesn't mean it can't be perfect.

I'm also guessing it's... it's
a good distraction for you,

right, like something you can focus on,

something you can control.

Two lattes.

- Thank you.
- Thanks.

$7.85, please.

[BEEPS]

I think this tech glitch
is getting worse.

- I gotta get back down to IT.
- [KISS]

Hey, since when do you drink lattes?

Oh, it's not for me.
It's actually for a...

VIP patient Hank just admitted.

Who?

[WHISPERING] Diana Underhill.

- Diana Underhanded?
- Shh!

The woman running against my father?

We promised her we'd protect
her privacy, and yes,

and you know what, she... she's
actually quite reasonable.

She called my dad anti-g*n.

My dad, the general. The hunter.

This hospital is nonpartisan, Paige.

We kiss all VIP asses equally.

She's a politician, Evan. Do
not be fooled by her charms.

I'm-I'm... but...

I'm not... I'm-I'm...

[MUTTERS] No cupcakes?

It feels like ten minutes
ago that I was single

and motherhood was just a fantasy.

[CHUCKLES]

How's Raj handling it all?

He's excited about having his
third child and our first.

Uh-huh.

He's much less stressed than I am

about me starting medical school

while I'll still be nursing our newborn.

Life just keeps throwing us
curve balls, doesn't it?

Curve balls filled with anxiety.

Hank, why are you so wound up
about your father's wedding?

[SIGHS]

It's the old Eddie all over again,

forcing me to question even
the most joyous occasion.

I can't accept that it's as simple

as he's making it sound, that suddenly,

he has life all figured out
and is ready to settle down.

Is it possible that
it's not about Eddie,

that it's about you?

Maybe you're measuring yourself
up against your father.

Maybe I am. Him and everyone else too.

Evan's married and trying to
start a family, so are you,

and I couldn't be happier for you guys.

- You know that.
- I do.

But now, even my dad, the
reformed hustler and flake,

has beaten me to the altar.

It's gotta be tough to swallow.

I always prided myself
in having it together,

unlike him, and now he's lapping me too.

You have got it plenty
together, I promise.

And when the time is right,
when the person is right,

you'll un-lap everyone.

You mean catch up to everyone.

See, you're already
one step ahead of me.

Happy running. I hope it helps.

Thank you. Later, Sash.

Help! Someone please help my brother!

- I'm a doctor. What's going on?
- Thank God.

Hey, there, bud.

Hey, Ian, this man's a doctor, okay?

Please get it out!

All right. Hang in there, Ian.

I promise you'll get
your foot back in a sec.

Okay.

- I'm Lena. What can I do?
- All right.

Lena, I need your help
to lift this bike.

- Yeah?
- Okay.

I was too terrified to try that.

Just grab hold of it. One, two, three.

- That's it, that's it. Good.
- Oh.

Oh.

Okay. Any of this feel tender?

- A little.
- Yeah?

Can you wiggle your toes?

Okay, that's good.

I need those paper towels.

Wes.

Thank you.

How the hell did you get your
foot caught in there, Ian?

We weren't even going that fast.

You were steering like a drunk person!

And you were going way too fast.

I had to race to keep up with you.

You rear-ended us, tailgater.

Okay, enough.

Just go clean the
groceries off the path.

Okay, um, you guys don't
happen to have any...

That's perfect.

Oh, my God. We are so
lucky we ran into you.

I never would have come up with that.

It's a good thing you
guys came prepared.

So you think he's gonna be okay?

We'll need to follow up,
but he should be okay.

That'll keep it comfortable.

That's it.

All right, let's get you up.

Now, listen, Ian shouldn't put pressure

or have any weight on that foot.

- How you feeling, I-guy?
- Okay.

Yeah, I'm s... I knew
that they were too young

to be riding my parents' tandem bike.

You guys need help getting home?

Uh, thanks, but we don't live too far.

Okay, well, I'd like to
speak to your folks anyway.

Ian will need an X-ray, just to be safe.

Uh, they're not around, but do you have,

like, a card or something?

- Um...
- Oh.

There you go.

Oh.

All right, let's get
you up there, I-guy.

[GRUNTS]

I'll be sure to get this to them.

Okay, please do.

Thank you, Hank.

Of course.

Boys.

BOTH: Thank you, Hank.

[CHUCKLES] You got it, fellas.

Ready? Keep your foot up, okay?

All right, bud.

He said no so many times,

I thought this wedding
would never happen.

Honey, it's only because I wanted to be

the one that asked.

Well, you certainly surprised me.

The reception is gonna be so great.

We'll set up a bar here,

and I guess the food will go right here.

And... that pretty much covers it.

And I'm creating a playlist that's gonna

make everyone's feet hurt.
It's gonna be awesome.

Oh, thanks so much, guys,
for taking charge of this.

I don't know anything
about planning a wedding

for under 500.

[ALL CHUCKLE]

But could I look at the vendors
list, just out of curiosity?

Sure, yeah, I'll go get it.

- Hey, Paige.
- So?

Am I late for the
reception walk-through?

It just ended. We didn't
think you were coming.

Uh, well, as co-best man, I
wanna be part of this wedding,

every step of the way.

I'm just curious, why did you guys

decide to do it all in 48 hours?

Look, the lecture circuit is thrilling,

but then I finally realized, my
book is called "L.I.F.E."...

L-I-F-E... "Life Is for Enjoying,"
and I was not enjoying myself

as much as I should with the gal I love.

[WHISPERING] And I'm not
getting any younger.

He said I had to marry
him as soon as possible,

if not sooner.

What woman would slow down
a man who talks like that?

Eddie's wild impulses are

one of his most attractive qualities.

Well, I'm glad you two
make each other so happy.

Dad, you never cease to amaze me,

and, Ms. Newberg, congratulations.

We can't wait to officially
have you in the family.

Well, I can't wait to officially be had.

[LAUGHTER] Okay.

Washington insiders call
it "Summer Recess."

I call it a whole month wasted.

I didn't build a public
company by taking August off.

If elected, I won't be on recess,

not when there are over
a million New Yorkers

who are looking for jobs.

Okay, that's it for today.

Make sure that Jim gets that ASAP.

Right away.

And why don't we trust politicians?

Mm, my impossibly young
and know-it-all staff

says that I have to constantly
put fresh content up on my site

so that the voters can always feel me...
I don't know.

Speaking of, I have 15
fundraisers in five days,

so please tell me that
you have good news.

Cardiac tests and MRI were negative.

If your shoulder still hurts,
it's likely an inflamed muscle.

Great. What can we do about it?

I'm happy to administer
that sh*t of cortisone.

And I am happy to take you up on that.

Fantastic. Come right over to my bag.

I can usually block out pain,

but this has just been too distracting.

[GROANS]

Well, it's never healthy
to live in pain.

I absolutely agree.

You're a concierge doctor.

Can you and your cortisone injections

join me on my campaign trail,
just until the pain subsides?

I'll put you on staff.

As much fun as all those
rubber chicken dinners sound,

I have my father's wedding tomorrow.

Oh, congratulations. You
must be very happy for him.

Well, I'm trying to be.

Hmm.

Yes, family obligations and all
the drama that comes with them.

It's a distraction that
I now avoid in my life.

Or, if anyone asks, a
sacrifice that I made

in order to better serve the people

of this great state of New York.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

Uh...

Diana, you smoke?

Well, that's quite an accusation, Hank.

[CHUCKLES]

I made a spectacle of
publicly quitting last year,

but the press conference proved to be

far more impressive than my willpower,

so yes, I steal a few every
day when no one is looking.

I can't be seen as a
smoking flip-flopper.

I can't speak to the political
ramifications of it,

but I can tell you that it may
cause dangerous vascular issues,

and I could've used that information

during your cardiac workup.

I'm not a staffer, a
constituent, or the press,

so going forward, Diana,
just give it to me straight.

And please, stop smoking now.

The eight-year-old boy
Hank treated at the beach

will be a perfect first
patient for you after...

After recovering from my regression.

Returning from your sabbatical.

We all need one from time to time.

We don't all have the same challenges

navigating social interactions,
and after months in the lab,

I'm a little out of practice.

I'm used to mice.

It was your idea to
return, now, wasn't it?

All right, so why?

It was necessary.

I was hiding,

and I thought I might be ready.

And I know that you are. This
will be an easy follow-up.

Remember the three steps.

Introduce myself, explain myself,

put the patient at ease.

Great.

Hi, I'm Dr. S...

Stranger danger!

- [LAUGHS]
- Ah!

Hey, cool crutches. Can
I take them for a spin?

[STAMMERS]

[BEEPING]

H-hi, I'm Dr. Sacani.

I'm here to check on your foot.
Is your mom home?

Lena!

- How long will this take?
- Uh...

Whoa, that's a big needle!

That is a syringe.

You need to put a needle on
it to perform an injection.

Don't worry, it's not for your foot.

Can I try it on my little brother?

Sorry, no.

What is all the screaming about?

Did you find Godzilla?

And why is the video game so loud?

Uh, hi. Who are you?

Hi, I'm Dr. Sacani. I'm here
to check on Ian's foot.

Oh, thank you for coming,

but you have the wrong
foot and the wrong boy.

That's Wes, and that's Ian.

Um, I assume you're the babysitter?

I get that a lot.

Actually, I'm just the
lucky older sister.

Ah. Ah! Ah!

[LAUGHS] Dr. Sacani found Godzilla!

I'm s...

Uh, someone else will follow up.

Godzilla can't catch you, but I can!

- [SCREAMS]
- Boys, boys!

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

♪ ♪

Oh, no! Could we get a
little help over here?

Got it!

Jen and Sam, what's going on?

Sam, you remember Dr. Lawson?

I'll take that as a yes.

Mom says I get my knuckleball from her.

If I know nurses, she's
probably right about that.

[LAUGHS]

- Oh!
- Oh, I'll get it!

That's what we were thinking, sweetie.

So, uh, I tried reaching
you back in the fall.

- [LAUGHS]
- Yeah.

Yeah, no, I know. I-I wanted to call.

I had just gotten out of a relationship.

By the time it was a good time,
I figured it was too late.

Ah. Totally understand that.

But it wasn't too late.

It's still not.

I'm still single too, so...

[BOTH LAUGHING]

How does dinner this weekend sound?

I'd like that.

Great.

Think Sam will find his
runaway knuckleball by then?

Not a chance.

Maybe we should go help the guy.

Hey, should we run in on three?

Yes, we should.

BOTH: One, two, three!

♪ ♪

What? Is it cold?

[KNOCKING AT THE DOOR]

Come on in. I'll be right down.

Maybe you could do the X-ray.

Jeremiah...

you can do this, all right?

Just remember what we practiced.

This isn't what we practiced for.

This house is a w*r zone.

Seems pretty peaceful to me.

Hey.

Hello again, Ms. Crawford.
This is Divya Katdare.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Thanks for coming back to check on Ian.

Let's give this another sh*t, okay?

I promise all the animals
have been restrained.

Hey, guys. You must be Wes and Ian.

Guys, Divya works with Dr. Sacani.

Hey, Ian, would you mind

turning this game off
for me for a moment?

Just one more minute.

Yeah, we're just about to die.

You know what? Right about
now would be great.

Ian, this is gonna be quick
and totally painless.

Dr. Sacani's gonna take a
picture of your foot, okay?

Yeah, right now. Right
now would be good.

Young man, would you mind
stepping outside for me?

Lena, you okay?

Actually, could you step
over here for a second?

Um, I've actually been in a lot
of pain since the bike accident.

I think it's from where
I hit the handlebars.

Okay.

Mm.

[WHIRRING]

Have you told your parents?

Our parents d*ed a few years ago.

- Sorry to hear that, Lena.
- Thanks.

Don't worry, my aunt
Rosanna is our guardian,

and she's out for the day, but
she'll be back later tonight.

Okay. Well, let's check it out.

No fracture. Ian's foot is fine.

Hmm.

It looks like pancreatitis.

That's the inflammation
of a long, flat gland

that sits behind your stomach.

I hit the handlebars that hard?

You must have.

Will I be okay?

Yeah, should resolve with enough rest.

So I don't have to go to the hospital?

Well, luckily, I don't see
any injury to the liver,

spleen, or duodenum, but
the initial ultrasound

can be misleading with
these kinds of injuries,

so I'll need to reexamine
you at some point.

And I'd like to talk to your aunt

so that she knows what's going...

Yeah, that's fine. Do you
have a card or something?

I'll give it to her when
she gets back tonight.

There you go.

Cool. Thank you.

Hey, Chas.

Welcome back, Dr. Lawson.

- Thank you.
- [BEEPING]

Thanks for coming back so fast.

What's going on?

The pain in my shoulder.

Still not any better?

No, and it's in my stomach now.

Okay.

Ugh.

How bad is the pain here, one to ten?



That's unusual.

What, for a politician to
give you a straight answer?

[CHUCKLES] No.

This.

What is that?

It could be endometriosis, a
disorder in which the tissue

that normally lines the uterus

starts growing outside the uterus.

And it's unrelated to what's
going on in my shoulder?

Well, not necessarily.

If it's spread to your diaphragm,

it could be irritating a nerve,

making the pain radiate up to that area.

Okay, well, if this
isn't life-threatening,

then I don't have the time
to slow down for this.

I have to call 50
high-level donors today.

- Diana, listen to me.
- [WINCES]

You need a biopsy to confirm

that this is indeed endometriosis,

and you may need laparoscopic surgery

to remove the excess
tissue, so you can call

your high-level donors
from the hospital.

The hospital again?

Mm-hmm.

Okay, but I'm telling
Chas you're banned.

[CHUCKLES]

- Come.
- Okay.

Wow, Dad, what... you are
off your game today.

Usually you decimate us.

Today, you're merely embarrassing us.

Well, maybe it's nerves about tomorrow?

- Oh.
- No.

You know what it is? It's adrenaline.

Yeah, 'cause I'm so in the moment.

I'm living in the moment.

Is this moment enough, Dad?

Did you want a bigger bachelor party?

This is nice and everything, but
we could still go clubbing or...

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
we're not going clubbing.

This is perfect. I'm with my boys.

Only thing missing is
Emma, and she promised

to FaceTime me from school pretty soon.

Well, Dad, this is perfect for us too.

Other than having our sister call in

to our father's bachelor
party, yes, it's perfect.

I'm getting more beer. You want some?

No, thank you.

Dad? You sure you're okay?

I don't think that I'm nervous.

I think I'm feeling guilty.

Guilty. Why?

Dad? Is this about Mom?

It is. It is.

Ever since I abandoned
my first true love,

I'm just don't feel like I
deserve a second chance.

I feel like I'm getting
away with something.

But you're a completely
different person now,

and when you first told us
about the wedding, I admit,

I was a little suspicious,
but when I look to see

what your angle is, I realize,
finally, you don't have one.

Doesn't have an angle on what?

On... that sh*t.

Well, Dad's always best when
the odds are against him.

Right, Dad?

Hey. Rack 'em up, boys.

Diana!

- [ALARM BEEPING]
- Illegal entry.

- Diana.
- Illegal entry.


[COUGHS]

Yeah, this is Hank Lawson.

I have a female with a hemothorax.

I need an ambulance at 33 Almayo.

Thank you.

Diana, I'm gonna give you some
lidocaine to numb you up.

Okay.

Okay.

And now, Diana, I have to
make an incision, okay?

You're gonna feel some pressure.

Okay.

Good.

Okay.

Here we go.

Okay.

[GASPING]

Oh. Thank you, Hank.

You can thank me by actually staying

at the hospital this time.

I will.

As long as you don't come.

You've got a wedding to go to.

[CHUCKLES]

She's at the hospital, which
we need to discuss later.

Maybe I can go wash it off real quick.

Yeah, don't worry about the stain.

We have a bigger problem.

What?

Dad. He's not coming.

What do you mean, he's not coming?

Guess you were right to
have doubted him after all.

Does Newberg know?

[NEWBERG SCREAMS]

[SOBBING]

I think she just found out.

I'm so sorry.

[SOBBING]

I can't even believe it.

Like, think about it, the
nerve it would take.

Like, the unmitigated selfishness.

Who cancels a last-minute
wedding at the last minute?

I'll tell you who, our father,

Eddie R. Lawson, the
world-class son of a...

Hey! Be careful what you
say about the man I love.

Ms. Newberg, you're here.

I wanted to hole up in the house

until the summer was over,
but my wedding planner

convinced me that,
wedding or no wedding,

there's nothing like being surrounded

by friends and family.

I just didn't want all the
cupcakes to go to waste.

Is there anything to
wash them down with?

Absolutely.

Ha ha. Whoo!

[ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING]

Don't worry, I got you some
amazing sparkling apple cider.

Ooh, I'll try not to go on a bender.

[LAUGHS]

♪ ♪

[CHUCKLES]

Sit down.

Everything okay?

I missed Lena's pancreatitis.

Jeremiah...

You caught it. Hank would've caught it.

I-I missed it.

You know pancreatitis takes
time to develop its symptoms.

There was likely nothing to
catch on your first visit.

Your patient was Ian, and you k*lled it.

Well, I'd say I barely survived it.

Well... [LAUGHS]

You had to start someplace.

To surviving.

[PHONE ALERT]

Divya.

Is it the sitter?

It's the admissions office
from Johns Hopkins.

Well?

I'm wait-listed.

That's not a no.

No, but it just means more waiting,

me waiting to see where I'm going and...

you waiting to decide if you're gonna

move your career to Baltimore.

Ah, who cares?

Real estate is real estate,
no matter where it is.

And sometimes, waiting pays off.

Just look at us.

Well, I guess you can't explain it

any better than I can.

I wish I could.

I understand why he walked
out on us 25 years ago.

I don't like it, I don't relate
to it, but I understand it.

This is just... confusing.

It doesn't make any sense, and
it doesn't fit his... pattern.

Yeah.

To put it mildly, I agree.

I'm sorry this happened.

You know he's always
had commitment issues.

Hank, it's not your job to clean up

your father's crazy messes.

[SIGHS] It's a habit,

one I thought was behind me.

Well, the crazy's part of
the fun too, you know.

Without the valleys, there are no peaks,

and with Eddie R. Lawson,
you get both, big-time.

[CHUCKLES] And you've gotten both?

Oh, yeah, I sure have.

He's given me the happiest,
most exciting times of my life.

He's made me feel younger
and more hopeful

than I ever thought I could be.

People who make you feel
that way tend to be,

well, complicated.

- Unpredictable.
- Mm.

You know, Hank, your
father blames himself

for all of your relationship problems.

What do you mean?

Your romantic paralysis, whatever it is.

He's afraid you've become more like him

than he ever wanted you to be,

and he thinks that's why you
can't seem to settle down.

I couldn't do it. I wanted to.

I wanted to tell them the truth.

I just couldn't do it.

I know what you're gonna say.

You're gonna say I'm a coward.

I'm gonna say you're 100% correct.

Jen.

Hank, what are you doing here?

I'm a physician. It's a hospital.

That's a really good point.

Yeah, but since I'm here,

you got a sec?

I don't, but since you're here...

- Okay, um...
- [CHUCKLES]

Look, I've been giving
it a lot of thought,

and as much as I would
love to take you out,

I'm concerned about protecting Sam.

Protecting Sam... from what,

like, a night without me
micromanaging him or...

No, from... inevitabilities.

Inevitabilities.

Did your legal team come up with that?

'Cause, you know, if you're
just not that into it,

you can use smaller words.

Believe me, I am into it. It's just...

Okay, at the last minute,

my dad canceled his last-minute wedding,

and it raised some issues for me.

He always dives headfirst
into big decisions

without considering who will
be the collateral damage.

Sam seems like such a great, happy kid,

and I don't wanna cause
collateral damage.

I don't wanna be my dad.

Well, thank you, Hank.

That's incredibly sensitive of you.

But Sam's actually leaving next week

to spend the summer in
Idaho with his dad,

so, you know, if you wanna
call it off with me

before it's even begun, then
maybe you and your legal team

could come up with something
better than... inevitabilities.

All set?

- Yeah.
- Okay.

You came through yesterday's procedures

like the type-A champ that you are.

Your lungs are now clear of
blood and endometrial tissue.

Mm.

I hadn't really noticed how
compromised my lungs were.

Feel like I have brand-new
lungs now, thank you.

Yeah, well, stay away
from the cigarettes,

and they'll start to feel even better.

So can I go home now, please?

You'll need a laparoscopy
to clear the endometriosis

from your diaphragm and pelvis.

More lasers scraping my insides off?

That's... yay.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

Well, the surgeons will try to use

a minimally invasive laser, but...

Okay.

Depending on what they
find during the procedure,

Diana, I'm sorry to tell you,

you may have to consider a hysterectomy

to prevent the problem from recurring.

What's the recovery time?

Depending on the type of hysterectomy,

you could be back at work in a few days,

as long as you don't
do any heavy lifting.

Well, if I'm stuck here
for more than a few days,

the only thing that'll
need heavy lifting

will be my polling
numbers, so thank you.

Um...

can I... can I get it all done at once?

You mean do the
hysterectomy on the spot?

Mm-hmm.

Well, there are factors to consider,

but you could discuss them
either with me or an ob-gyn,

or I could have the social
worker on staff come down...

I considered all those
factors long ago, Hank,

and I've made my choice.

I think... I think just wanna

get it over with and get back to work.

I have a senate seat to win.

That's the future of my dreams.

Okay.

I reassured Diana you'd
protect her privacy.

Yeah, and I have been, since
the second you admitted her.

She's really worried
about political enemies.

Well, she's a really polarizing figure.

Especially in my house.

Good luck.

Excuse me.

Excuse me, we're looking for Dr. Sacani.

Are we in the right place?

Yes and no... he works right here

in the Rare and Genetics Diseases Lab,

but I think he's at lunch.

Oh, that's all right. We'll just...

we'll just sit over here
and just be patient.

I could have him paged if it's urgent.

No, that's all right. No,
we don't mind waiting.

Right, honey?

Who doesn't love to wait?

Hank hasn't heard from him either?

Are you gonna reach out?

No, not this time. The
ball is in Eddie's court.

Babe, I'm happy to postpone again.

No. No, go to Houston.

Give your parents a big hug for me,

and tell your dad he is not anti-g*n.

Okay?

Hey.

Make it a real distraction.
Like, enjoy it.

Enjoy your family. Enjoy Houston.

Just forget about everything else...
you deserve it.

Me and my... underdog
sperm will be right here

when you get back,

screening the movie
"Rudy" for inspiration.

[LAUGHS]

Thank you. I needed that.

And I will.

- Bye.
- Bye.

Have fun.

Mr. Lawson, can I have a word?

Yeah, of course.

Okay, great.

Jeremiah, those patients over
there are waiting for you.

Those aren't patients.
Those are my parents.

I don't know why they're here,
but I'll ask them to leave.

Okay, thank you.

Hey, what's going on?
Did you hear from Dad?

No, I heard from IT.

You know that glitch? It's
not a technical problem.

So then what's the issue?

It's an att*ck, like, a big one.

- So you're saying...
- We've been hacked.
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