05x11 - Episode 11

[bunniefuu]

[narrator] This week,
there's been a love triangle.

You're like the apple Adam and Eve
shouldn't have ate,

but they definitely knew
they should've ate.

[narrator] And two dumpings.

But tonight, it's time to party.

We are the secret beach club
you didn't know existed,

but once you come along...

[groaning]

...you'll have the best night of your life.

[Anna] Okay.

[narrator] Get ready for shocks...

When I get my orgasm,
I like to say... [groans]

-[narrator] ...spills...
-I need to fart.

-[farts]
-[all laughing]

-[narrator] ...and plenty of surprises.
-[Destiny] Yeah!

[narrator] Plus a VIP appearance
from celebrity royalty.

Oh, my gosh. Iain's gonna say my name.

[narrator] Ariana Madix.

This is the most exciting thing
that's ever happened in my life.

-[vocalizing]
-[narrator] Unseen Bits

is taking you backstage

to see the most exclusive villa action
that was too wild to be seen.

[all] One, two, three, four,
I am the best whore.

Are you ready for the drop?

-[belches]
-[narrator] Okay, DJ. Unseen, hit it.

[theme song playing]

[narrator] Bergie. Bergie. It's Iain.
I'm running late.

Can you intro the show for me?

Now, this is your chance
to sell yourself to America.

You can say anything. Well, within reason.

Just stand tall and go for it.

Hello, America.

[narrator] Bergie, what can I say?
You, uh, nailed it.

Don't worry, mate. I'll take it from here.

Hello, America!

["Your Best Life" playing]

♪Step into to your best life ♪

This week saw reality TV
megastar Ariana Madix

enter the villa to host
a very special game of Mr. and Mrs.

-[Ariana] Hey, Islanders!
-[all] Hey.

[narrator] The Islanders were
"Vanderpumped" to see her.

Oh, my gosh.
Everyone's gorgeous on and off camera.

So you said we all look
beautiful in person.

-So, no catfishing?
-No.

[Carmen] You are a Love Island fan.

[narrator] But here's an unseen bit
of the girls.

-Cock-a-roaches.
-"Cock-a-roaches"?

-Cock.
-Cockroaches.

Cock-a-roaches.

-[laughs] Cock-a-roach.
-Cockroach. You're adding an "A".

Cockroaches.

What is the difference between
a cock-a-roach and a regular roach?

-She says "cock-a-roach" too!
-I thought it was "cockroach."

-No, it's cock-a-roach.
-They're saying "cock-a-roach."

-It is "cock-a-roach."
-Cockroach.

-Cock-a-roach.
-Cockroach.

-Cock-a-roach.
-Cockroach.

-Cock-a-roach.
-Cock-a-roach.

-Cock-a-roach.
-Cockroach.

[both] Cock-a-roach.

There's no "a" in there.

It's not cock-a-roach. It's cockroach.

-Cockroach.
-No, I say cock-a-roach.

-You're wrong.
-[both laughing]

Thank you. I thought I was going crazy.

-Or am I right, and you're wrong?
-No.

No. I know how to spell.

-Okay, but at least I know...
-Is it spelled with an "A"?

-What...
-At least I know sh*t.

There's no "A" in there.

-So where the f*ck the "A" come from?
-What makes a cockroach cock?

No. They're both saying cockroach, dude.

It is cockroach.

[both] No, it's cock-a-roach.

No, it isn't.

Where's the "A" coming from?

-Here's the real question...
-It's always been there.

What's the difference between
a cock-a-roach and a regular roach?

[narrator] See the outtakes
of celeb goddess Ariana Madix

hosting Mr. and Mrs. later in the show.

[theme song playing]

[narrator] Now, when I go to the beach,
I take suntan lotion,

sunglasses, and a sandwich bag
full of Tootsie Rolls.

Kassy, have you got everything you need?

[gasps] Oh, wait. I'll be right back.

I'm gonna get my crystals
so they can reenergize down here.

-[Carmen] Okay.
-Give me one second.

-What kind?
-Huh?

-What kind of...
-My rose quartz.

And also, my evil-eye bracelets.

-I can reenergize those, too.
-Okay.

-I'll be right back.
-I might borrow an evil eye one.

-Yeah.
-Don't ever buy for yourself.

So, I will buy one for you.
It will be gifted to you. I got you.

Yay!

I'll be right back.

These beauties will be

my little lucky charms today.

And let's see if anything changes.

Let's see if there's a turn of events
in my love life.

[narrator] I wish I knew the type
of crystals that could help me

manifest a toasted sandwich right now.

-Hello, missy.
-[Kassy] Hi!

[Carmen] I was telling her
about your crystals.

-[Destiny] Yeah. Did you get 'em?
-[Kassy] Yeah. Well, it was moved.

When I went out there, somebody moved it.

I got so mad 'cause nobody is supposed
to touch it, but it's okay.

I'm reenergizing them right now,
so it's like cleansing.

-[Destiny] Okay.
-[Carmen] Okay. Good.

Universe, reenergize me.

I am beautiful.

Good things come my way.
[inhales, exhales]

Is it weird when I get my orgasm,
I like to say my affirmations?

I'm like... [groans]

-They say that's when it's the strongest.
-"I want a promotion!"

They say that's the strongest.

That's the most powerful.

'Cause, like, your energy is so up there.

So, you have to... [snorts]

Maybe when I masturbate,
I will yell my affirmations.

-Yeah.
-Do it, guys.

Especially if I'm by myself.
Who f*cking cares?

-[Kassy] Right.
-Hey, that's some goofy stuff, bro.

Except when you're in bed with a man,

he wants you to say his name,
and you're talking about how, um...

"I wanna be my best self."

"No, not you. I want to be a millionaire."

No. "I don't chase. I attract!"

[narrator] I skipped back announcing
affirmation orgasms at narration college

thinking it's knowledge I'll never use.

How wrong I was.

[theme song playing]

Love Island is known for its sexy,
slow-motion dance montages.

But what happens when one Islander
can't quite boogie like the rest?

In this unseen bit, we see
the lads teach Bergie to dance

while also showing how far they've
progressed with their counting.

One, two, three.

-[both] One, two, three.
-[Keenan] Yeah.

-Now you know where to go.
-[all] One, two, three.

[both] One, two, three.

-Dude, I am so offbeat already.
-[all] One, two, three.

Feel it!

And now, no clapping.
Move your hands like that.

-[vocalizing]
-Exactly.

We need the hips.

Coming into Love Island,
I never really danced before.

And now, I feel like, "Wow.
Everybody else is a hell of a dancer."

"Why am I just sitting back
having no idea what to do?"

It just feels super awkward. So, like,

you know what? It's gonna be awkward,
but let's get the moves out.

The b*at that I know
is "one, two, three, stop."

Yeah. Two, three, stop.

Exactly. And the stop is always together.

But you always lead with the left,
no matter what.

Yeah. Always lead with the left.

-Yeah.
-Right foot up, come back.

[all] One, two, cha-cha-cha.

-[all] One, two, cha-cha-cha.
-[Harrison] Don't get too quick.

-Don't get too quick.
-One, two, cha-cha-cha.

All right. Chill, chill, chill.

-Chill, chill, chill.
-[laughing]

Cha-cha-cha. One, two, three, cha-cha-cha.

You know, you just gotta go with it.

No, hold on. Let's get the hips moving.
Put 'em in a circle.

Put 'em in a circle.
Show me they can move.

-Show me they can move!
-I got you! I got you! I got you!

They're trying to get me to shake my hips.

-We're swinging the hips. Yes.
-Yes.

Okay. We're not f*cking like this, though.

-It's not no...
-It's not like...

It's not no thrusty-thrusty.

I am not doing so well.

That is... on paper, that is the movement.

-Okay.
-You gotta add some sauce.

You gotta add some sauce. Find your sauce.

Also, I would take the hands out of it.

I feel like...
I'm not f*cking with this sh*t.

Bergie. Hit it.

And a one, and a two,
and a one, two, three, go.

One, two, cha-cha-cha.

One, two, cha-cha-cha.

[all] One, two, cha-cha-cha.

Okay, okay.

Uh, as of right now,
Bergie still can't dance,

but I will work my ass off
to get him, like,

to a much better level.

Dance night for this night
has been closed.

There's definitely a lot more
lessons coming, and, like,

way more I can teach him.

[narrator] As they say, "dance
like nobody's watching,"

except a gazillion people.

From the get-go,
it was clear Jasmine and Anna

shared a unique bond
that could only be understood by them.

-Should we make a handshake?
-Yeah.

[narrator] And nine-year-olds.

[groaning]

[groaning, snorting]

I can feel the implant.

[narrator] Aw, aren't Jasmine
and Anna really cute?

If only they thought
of coupling up with each other.

The girl I would like
to couple up with is Destiny.

And with Jasmine getting dumped
from the villa,

time for #Janna'sGreatestHits.

["My Best Friend" playing]

♪ We used to hand out in the backyard ♪

-I feel like we're such bestie girls.
-I know.

And, like, you're my sister in here.
You know?

♪ Making crazy wishes
on the evening star ♪

[English accent] "It's Jasmine and Anna."

[English accent]
"Causing all the drama like usual."

-You whore.
-You're ugly as f*ck.

[both laughing]

I love you!

Jasmine is our only source
of happiness here.

Ugh.

[both vocalizing]

♪ Me and my best friend ♪

[theme song playing]

Anna wasn't sad for too long,
as she got a job in the villa

as camera operator
for roving reporter Hannah.

[narrator] Welcome to...

Love Island Live!

Okay. Ready? We're starting a new segment
here called Love Island Live,

where we just keep it fresh,
keep you up to date

on everything that is happening
in the villa.

Right here I'm with the boys.
This is what they do.

The boys on the beanbags.
This is their thing.

Victor, what is your biggest turnoff?

-I would say people that they are rude.
-Mmm.

-When they are rude it's like... Nope.
-Mmm.

-Yeah.
-Not for me, you know?

Love that. Thank you. Next, Keenan.

What is the worst date
you've ever been on?

You don't have to go into detail,
but why was it the worst date?

[bleep]

[narrator] What the bleep did he say?

Why are the girls so shocked?

I guess the only way to find out

is to join me on the other side
of this bleeping break.

Welcome back to
Love Island USA: Unseen Bits.

-Dun-dun da-dah!
-Keenan!

We're stomping our way into some
of the strongest and strangest...

[screaming]

[narrator] ...unseen moments from the week.

So, pull up a lotus pond...

Let's get out of the pond.

[narrator] ...or a daybed,

and jump into the bits
that have never been seen before.

[Bergie] We're gonna break it.

[laughing]

Before the break,
Love Island Live's roving reporter Hannah

asked our very
own Keenan a probing question.

[Hannah] What is the worst date
you've ever been on?

You don't have to go into detail,
but why was it the worst date?

Oh, [bleep]

So what the bleep did he say?

-Oh, because her breath was bad.
-[Hannah] Was it really bad?

It was f*cking kicking.

We were in the movies,
so when you got to lean over to whisper...

-"What's going on?" Breath's hot.
-Ooh.

-It was hot.
-Burning the side of my face.

-What did it smell like?
-Eardrum's b*ating.

It smelled like seaweed.

-Oh, not the seaweed.
-Fish ass. [laughs]

-Fish ass?
-And, like, bubble guts.

-All in the mouth.
-All in the mouth and in my ear.

Put the camera...
Ladies, if you're going on a date,

especially to the movies,
make sure you eat a mint, or five.

[narrator] Great advice, Hannah.

Check out the next installment
of Love Island Live

later in the show.

[theme song playing]

[narrator] Victor is channeling his best
impression of a Spanish Ken,

but I think Kay Kay
has mistaken the brief.

You gonna put a bikini on?
Do you want to borrow my pink one?

Just give me the bottoms.

Just the bottoms.

I want you to put on whatever he got on.

-The blue shorts?
-No, the brown skin.

Oh, I would love to put that stuff on.

Does it make you brown?

-Give him some short shorts.
-He cooking as we speak.

Which one is it? Show me.

-Yeah. We gotta get him right.
-Yes! Get him right!

We doing a Bergie makeover.

Yes. This is what I'm talking about.

All right, Kay Kay.

-Is it?
-Go for it, Kay Kay.

I definitely wanna be tanner
at the end of the day,

but, like, my white skin
just likes to burn.

Is this gonna make me brown?

No, no, no.

-Is it-is it making me brown?
-Not really.

-I wanna see in the mirror.
-Trey Songz, is that you?

Trey Songz? This is f*cked up.

We're putting bronzing oil on Casper.

This is f*cked up.

Wait. What-what...

Is my body gonna match my face?

Kay Kay can come and bronze me
whenever they want.

You won't recognize me
by the end of the show,

or whenever I leave.

-We're gonna get this like that.
-Yeah, right.

We can paint it, though.

-Right.
-We can paint it.

We need a lot more.

We need more Crisco.

[Destiny] We need a little bit more.

Are we making you uncomfortable?

-No, we're good. We're all good.
-If it's too much...

No, no. I just think it's hilarious.

-I feel like somebody's mama.
-This is insane.

Don't ever say
I ain't did nothing for you.

Thank you, guys, is all I'm gonna say.

Okay. We coming through
with the hair on the chest.

[Kay Kay] Yeah. Keep that.
That adds... That adds to it.

Pull these up.

[Bergie] Did I change color at all?

[Marco] Yeah. f*ck, yeah, you did.

Ah, you can see right here.

-Like, right here...
-[Bergie] sh*t.

and then that's kind of
what the bronzer looks like.

-It's just f*cking hell, bro.
-[Bergie] Yeah.

I'm gonna put that on every day.

I think I am a little darker,
even though I'm still a ghost, so...

No. You gonna get in the sand,
you gonna start cooking.

He cooking as we speak.

-He's like medium rare.
-Medium rare.

[Kay Kay] He better be well done.

[narrator] Old Bergie is gone for good.

Now just a radiant, golden brown,

glorious sun-kissed monument
of masculinity remains.

Let's move on from this tragedy.

Bits! Get your bits!

I've got seen bits! I've got unseen bits!

What's that, love? You want an unseen bit?

Coming right up.

[all] One, two, three, four,
I am the best whore.

Five, six, seven, eight,
how much d*ck can you take?

[narrator] They're three for a pound.

Okay. In three.

Are you recording? Okay, good.

In three, two, one...

Time now for the next unmissable

and still unseen installment
of Love Island Live

with host Hannah and her camera op, Anna.

-It's "Cooking With Carmen" today.
-[cheering]

All right. Let's head on over.
Let's head on over.

[Hannah] This is queen Carmen and she's
known for her superior avocado toast.

So, let's get an insight into the process.

Carmen, talk to the people.

I'll be shouting it out for all the girls.

Okay. So, tell me about this avocado toast
and why is it so iconic?

The key is lemons not limes.

But here in Fiji, we only have limes,

so we do have to settle for that
a little bit.

But it's part about
getting that consistency.

These boys are lazy.
They just cut up the avocado.

They don't mash it right for the girls
the way you're supposed to.

-Okay.
-So, we're gonna get into that first.

-I'm one of those boys.
-[Hannah] Beautiful.

So, you heard it here first.
Mash the avocado, people.

And lemons, not limes.

Come on over, Anna.

We're also going to talk
to the one and only Leonardo!

Hey! Light skin menace
in the building. What's up?

Dominican papi over here.

So, tell me, do you like avocado toast?

I love avocado toast because, you know,

all the girls in the villa put me on to
that as soon as I walked in the building.

-Yeah?
-And, you know,

all the beautiful ladies
just happen to love avocado toast.

-True.
-And I was like, "You know?"

"I'm gonna hop on the trend and go crazy."

-So, you're feeling it?
-I'm feeling it.

[narrator] Hannah and Anna are doing
such important journalistic work.

Avoca-don't go anywhere.

They'll be bringing us more villa updates,

and we'll be bringing you
more Unseen Bits after this.

["Good Times" playing]

♪ We're heading out for good times ♪

[narrator] Well, well, well.

Look who came crawling back
to Love Island USA: Unseen Bits.

You can't resist all the never-seen-before
magic and mayhem from the villa.

Me neither.

♪ The song sounds sweeter ♪

[narrator] When the Islanders aren't
dancing and having a good time,

they like to ask all the big questions.

The meaning of life.

"Does time exist?"

And...

If you were a p*rn star,

-what would your name be?
-"The Loch Ness Monster."

You've literally thought about this
before, haven't you?

No, I got that nickname in high school.

-[Victor] I'll go with...
-I could be the "Knee Knocker."

-[Victor] "Knee Knocker"?
-[clicks tongue]

[all laughing]

-The f*cking Knee Knocker.
-I'll go with "Agua Papi." I think...

-[all] Agua Papi!
-Agua Papi.

[Keenan] Agua Papi, bro. How about you?

-"Agua Papi. I keep it wet."
-Agua Papi.

-What would yours be?
-I don't even know.

"Dirty Dingo."

-Wait. You said what?
-"Whorson."

-Whorson? Instead of Harrison.
-Whorson.

Whorson. Spelled W-H-O-R. [laughs]

-Or "Horseon." The horse!
-[both] Yeah, Horseon.

-[Keenan] Horseon.
-[Harrison] Horseon.

-[Bergie] I was thinking horse.
-[Keenan] Neigh.

I don't know what else I...
I don't know. Yeah. That was...

"Dirty Dingo." [laughs]

"Kangaroo Ding." [laughing]

-[Harrison] "Ding Dong."
-[Victor] Coco...

Crocodile Dundee was, uh, Australian?

-Crocodile Dundee, yeah.
-[Victor] Crocodile Dundee?

"Crocodile Ding Dong."

[narrator] "Crocodile Ding Dong"?
Come on, guys. It's sitting right there.

"Cock-odile Dundee."

That's low-hanging fruit.

The joke, not... Let's just move on.

[theme song playing]

This week saw celebrity royalty
Ariana Madix enter the villa

to host a very special game
of Mr. and Mrs.

It's the game where you have to guess

your partner's answers
to a personal question.

What is your girl's
most prized possession?

I put "relationship with her mom."

I put "my bracelets."

She did tell me her father had passed.

So, I said maybe something
from her father.

Ow, that would have been a good answer,
but I put "my outfits/my closet."

[all laughing]

Here are the exclusive bits
that have never been seen before,

except by the editor who cut this package.

She's that girl.

I'm so excited to play a game
with you guys tonight.

-[cheering]
-Yes, Ariana! Yeah!

I've been watching you all.
Literally, I know everything you guys do,

and everything you guys talk about
in the bathroom when you're getting ready.

This is the most exciting thing
that's ever happened in my life.

I flew here from LA
with my Love Island water bottle.

Like, I'm a f*cking freak for it.

This is literally my dream come true.

[Hannah] I f*cking love her.

Islanders, tonight we are
going to play Mr. and Mrs.

I love this one.

What is your boy's favorite sex position?

I put "missionary."

Ah, let's f*cking go. Yeah, missionary.

Yes! Missionary! Okay!

-Missionary.
-[Ariana] Okay.

-I don't know if that's how you spell it.
-Is Hannah right?

And there's an illustration. Great.

Very educational. Thank you.

-I went with doggy.
-Well, maybe you were right.

-What did you put?
-[woofs]

Doggy! Okay! Correct!

And another illustration!

-But mine is PG.
-An artiste.

I put "missionary."

Missionary.

And an illustration. Wow.
You guys are very artistic.

-[Kassy] Thank you. But this one's cute.
-Bergie? Is she right?

She's right.

Yes! Points for Kassy and Bergie!

Kay Kay?

-Keenan likes to hit it from the side.
-[all cheering]

Okay.

-Is she right, Keenan?
-Come on. You know she right.

-Yes!
-You know she knows.

-Destiny?
-Missionary. You see this face?

-Harrison, Is she correct?
-Face to face is the way to go.

Missionary! Oh, my gosh! Look at this!

Points, points, points, points, points.

Okay, ladies.
I know we all have great taste,

but what is your boy's
least favorite food?

I put "raw seafood/sushi."

[Keenan] Ugh!

Leo, what did you put
as your least favorite food?

I said "cereal with milk."

Cereal with milk.

Hannah? What did you put
as Marco's least favorite food?

Okay. So, I know Marco
is eating everything,

so I said "doesn't have one."

Doesn't have one. Marco,
do you have a least favorite... Fish.

I put "olives" 'cause I feel like
some people are picky about those.

Olives? Okay.

-Victor, fish.
-I actually... I don't like olives.

-[Ariana] Oh.
-But I put "fish."

-[all laughing]
-See?

Kassy, what is Bergie's
least favorite food?

Well, I know his favorite is Italian,

but I don't know his least,
so I just guessed Mexican.

I have a peanut allergy,
so I put "peanuts."

-Peanuts.
-[all laughing]

[Kassy] Are you serious?

What is Keenan's least favorite food?

-Honestly, I don't know. But...
-What?

...anything he didn't see
get cooked he won't eat.

So that's what I put.

Anything he didn't see get cooked.

Everyone knows I hate cheese.

-I talk about I can't eat pizza.
-Argh! He does hate cheese.

-I talk about that so much.
-[Ariana] Wow.

-So much.
-Destiny.

Harrison does not like potatoes.

[Ariana] Harrison?

-Potatoes!
-[Harrison] She nailed it.

You guys are the only ones
with a correct answer this round.

[narrator] And with that, Ariana jetted
off into the horizon to go and be fabulous

while the Islanders jetted off
into the next unseen bit.

As the girls prepared for a recoupling,

they speculated on what the boys
might say in their speeches.

So how are you guys feeling tonight
about the recoupling?

No, [bleep] better have
a good speech planned.

He's not. I love him, but he's not.

What if he surprises us
and he just gives the most...

Like, we're all dabbing at our eyes
after the end of it?

He's gonna be like,
"No, I want to couple up with this girl

because she be
wearing those leather bikinis.

I can't keep my eyes off her."

[narrator] The big question is,
who is Anna impersonating?

Find out what the bleep Carmen said
when we return.

Welcome back
to Love Island USA: Unseen Bits.

Before the break, we heard Anna's
impression of one of the boys.

"She's got nice teeth just like me."

[Hannah] It's the little rock...

-"And, you know, that's my baby girl."
-[laughing]

They'll be like, "Who was it?"

[narrator] It's time to find out
what the bleep they said.

No, Marco better have
a good speech planned.

He's not. I love him, but he's not.

[narrator] It was Marco.

Anna's impression was absolutely spot-on.

Right down to the mascara
and blond hair extensions.

One of the things Destiny
loves about living in the villa

is that the boys and girls
have separate bathrooms.

I mean, they don't actually
have separate bathrooms,

but it's Destiny's world
and Leo's just living in it.

What you doing in the girls' bathroom?

-This isn't the girls' bathroom.
-What is it?

The bathroom.

-[Leonardo] What the hell?
-The hell! [laughing]

What are you doing?

-[Leonardo] Me?
-Yeah.

Taking a shower.

How you taking a shower
in the girls' bathroom?

This is not the girls' bathroom.

-What the hell is it?
-The bathroom.

-Why do you keep saying that?
-Because it is just a bathroom.

[Destiny laughing] Okay, well, I mean...

Wait, you can't see my d*ck
right now, right? I'm covered.

[Destiny laughing] I can't see you, boy.

[Destiny] What the hell? I can't believe

you didn't even turn around
when you seen I'm here.

You ain't gonna wait.
You just gonna go in.

-What happened?
-You... [laughs]

...you ain't even gonna wait.
You just gonna go in there.

-I wasn't gonna wait for sh*t, yo.
-[Destiny laughing]

-My sh*t fall out, it's on you.
-You just...

You just walked in like I weren't here.

No, it's on you. I was here first.

I'm gonna bend down and grab my Crocs,
so don't be looking up here.

-Oh, boy.
-f*ck.

No, I'm not doing this with you.

I'm not. I'm going, I'm going.

I'm always put in some effed situations,

and I'm not doing this.

I declare this done today.

You should've turned your ass around.

I'm out of here 'cause
I'm not gonna play with you.

Do whatever you need to do.

-Bye. [laughing]
-[Leonardo] Bye.

[narrator] I've got to be honest,
I still don't entirely understand

how Destiny managed
to miss that six of the biggest,

loudest and smelliest boys on the planet

have been sharing
her bathroom for two weeks.

[theme song playing]

Forget MMA, toss out Power Slap League.

There's a new tournament in town.

[bell rings]

It's Beach Hut Battle.

-And today we're playing...
-All Glown Up.

[cheering]

A new game where we pit
the girls against the boys

and have them duke it out
for bragging rights.

[both] Let's go, baby!

The teams must try to guess
who each baby Islander is.

The team with the most
correct guesses wins

nothing.

Oh, my God. We totally got this.

'Cause boys... They just suck.

[narrator] In the girls' corner,
it's the girls,

led by Anna and Kay Kay.

In the boys' corner, it's, you guessed it,

the boys, with Bergie and Leonardo.

There's no doubt in my mind

we're going three-for-three,
and we're gonna run this sh*t up.

Okay. I want a nice, clean fight.

Actually, scratch that,
fight as dirty as you want.

I'm gonna start in this
left corner for All Glown Up.

All right. I'm thinking Carmen right now.

I'm thinking
Anna has the cheeky little smiles.

Okay, let's think about the boys we have.

[Anna] Okay. So we have
Victor, Leo, Keenan.

-I forgot Keenan was here.
-It's not Keenan.

We got the blonde hair.

[Bergie] It's either Carmen
or Anna right now.

-Yeah.
-It's Harrison.

-[Kay Kay] It's Victor.
-[Anna] You think it's Victor?

The eyes are too dark to be Harrison.

The only thing she's missing
is the gold chains

and the gold bracelet.

[Leonardo] Other than that,
it's screaming Anna.

[Bergie] Yeah.

-Oh, I don't know. I think it's Harrison.
-Rock, paper, scissors for it.

Rock, paper, scissors. sh**t.

It's Harrison.

All Glown Up is...

-Anna!
-Anna. Let's go.

Victor!

-Are you serious?
-Oh, my God.

I'm pissed.

Never play rock, paper, scissors
with me ever again.

Let's figure out number two.

We're gonna go over here to the top right.

I'd be rocking that outfit for sure.

So based on this baby,
the little cute eye wink,

I'm gonna have to go with Kassy.

Yeah, I thought for a second maybe Hannah,
but I think Kassy is a better guess.

Look at the curls, the curly hair.
It's like, light brown hair.

And he looks really happy
to be with balls.

It's definitely Marco.

Marco loves balls.
Look how happy this kid is.

-It's definitely Marco.
-It's Marco.

Marco never stops cheesing like that.

Yeah.

So All Glown Up number two is...

-Kassy.
-Kassy. Let's go.

-Marco.
-[Anna] We got it.

Let's go!

I knew the vibe
as soon as we walked in here.

She's still the same height.

-Wow!
-Just kidding.

I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.

Got that smile,

but she looks like she's gonna give me
some damn sass off the bat.

I always compliment his nose,
so I know that's my boy.

Do you give him nose kisses?
Butterfly kisses?

No, mama. I have to after this. sh*t.

I know this is Kay Kay.

Somebody is giving Leo a little bath time.

And the third and last Islander
of All Glown Up is...

-Leonardo!
-Hey!

-Kay Kay.
-Kay Kay. Let's go.

Give me that three-for-three repeat, dog.

Going three-for-three, it's a knockout.

-We lost.
-Yeah.

[narrator] The boys have won
this Beach Hut Battle.

Winner, winner,
chicken f*cking dinner in this hole.

-Let's go.
-Let's go.

[narrator] Well done, boys.
And for your prize,

you win a sandwich bag
full of Tootsie Rolls,

which I already ate on my beach day.
So sorry about that.

This has been All Glown Up. I'm Anna.

And I'm Kay Kay, so meet us back
next time for the Beach Hut Battle!

-[cheering]
-[bell rings]

[narrator] After that epic
Beach Hut Battle,

I'm totally unseen bit-ed out.

Tell you what, let's kick back
and watch some commercials for a moment.

And when we return, we'll pop the top
on a fresh can of unseen bits.

Welcome back to
Love Island USA: Unseen Bits,

the show where we give you
pure, raw video stream action

from the world's most outrageous villa.

Oh, my gosh!

They're making a splash...

...dancing for joy...

...being heard...

[belches] God.

-I need to fart. [farts]
-[both laughing]

...and behaving like little kids.

[crying]

I'm gonna cry!

And you can only see their secret side
right here on Unseen Bits.

-Okay.
-[laughing]

One innocent bug
versus five strapping blokes.

It seems massively unfair on the guys.

They're outmatched
by a far superior being.

Oh, sh*t.

We saw that thing in the morning.
It was huge.

We tried to peacefully escort it out.

Oh, you got to throw it.
Get him not going in the cr*ck.

-So we can blow him out.
-All right.

[Harrison] I'll throw it a bit harder
and see if it just knocks him.

-[insect chirping]
-[Marco] There it is. It's on...

It didn't work, so,

we just have to take different measures.

Leo, watch out.
Oh, yeah, yeah. Here we go.

Oh!

-Holy sh*t! [grunts]
-Oh, my God!

I think it's like
the superhero blood that I have.

-[Leonardo] Oh, my God.
-We weren't trying to k*ll him. [laughs]

That sh*t's dead. Oh, he's done.

Oh, look. There's the other half of him.

Oh, they split him.

Hey, hey. Nicely done.

They were worried and scared.

I was like, "I'll take the lead,
I'll protect you guys."

I k*ll it through the holes.

Are you serious?

I heard it down there.
I heard the connection down there.

I heard a... I was like, "Damn."

"I'm Victor, I'm the hunter,

and I'm here to protect
all the Islanders in this villa." [snap]

[narrator] Karmic retribution was swift.

Much like the bug,
Victor's time in the villa was cut short.

I'm so sorry.

[narrator] Adios, Victor.

[Tarzan yell]

[cheering]

What is this? Magic Mike? [laughs]

[narrator] Love Island, the most sizzling
and steamy island-based show on air.

But what really happens in the bedroom
when the lights go out?

Time to find out
with another installment of

Unseen Bits' super sexy sealed section.

It's Islanders After Dark.

I'm about to show you
a super seductive scene

where the rogue Leonardo pulls Anna

for a late late-night talk.

Pillow talk, that is.

It feels like Anna has a burning desire.

Desire for a quiet night's sleep.

This pillow talk is just too hot.

I think we all need to cool off.

This was more of Islanders After Dark.

[whispering] Spicy.

Time now for the final installment
of Love Island Live

with host Hannah

and our cameraguy-person-operator-
camera operator Anna.

Okay, keep recording.
Now we're going to head to the beach,

go chill with the ladies,
and get the scoop.

Kassy is our Texas girl.

What's the biggest, like,
Texas, I don't know, thing?

Um, everything's bigger in Texas.
The barbecue is really good.

Um, and Tex-Mex is a thing.

-Miss you, Texas.
-Oh, we love Texas.

-Shout out to Texas.
-Adiós.

All right, now we're moving on
to Carmelita,

aka Carmen.

So, Carmen, what is your drink of choice?

-A tequila sh*t.
-[Hannah] Just sh*t.

-Boom. Lemon and salt?
-I'm a tequila girl.

Lemon and salt or no?

I mean, a pineapple chaser is my favorite,

but, like, if we don't have time,

you got to be able to do it
without the salt.

-You feel?
-Right. Okay. And another question.

What is the most irritating thing
that customers do?

I like when I'm so clearly in the middle
of doing something,

-like, making a drink in front of me...
-Yeah.

...and people, like,
put their hand on the counter

and put their hand
in front of what I'm doing.

I'm like, huh? "Does it look like
I'm not, like, doing something?"

f*ck out of here. Thank you! Okay, next!

We're gonna move on.
Kay Kay, Kay Kay, what the Kay?

-Hi.
-What what the Kay?

Kay Kay, Kay Kay.

Okay, so what's your favorite dance move?

In the club, I'm gonna bust out a twerk.

-I ain't gonna lie.
-Right.

I'ma bend it over, buss it down. You know.

-[Hannah] Bend it over, buss it down.
-I'ma bend it over, buss it down.

So if you ever see Kay Kay in the club,

just know she's gonna
bend it over and buss it down.

Let's see it. Hey, hey, hey!

-Yay, yay, yay, yay, yay.
-[all laughing]

I love it! Thank you, Kay Kay.

It's time to move on to Destiny.
Look at this gorgeous girl over here.

-[Destiny] What's up?
-Microbiologist.

What do you love about your job?
Let's say that.

-Honey, my job should love me. Okay?
-Okay.

I love that.
And what a great way to end our interview.

This is Love Island Live!

With the best camerawoman
behind the camera. Hold on.

Let's show her for a second.
Our queen, Anna Banana.

Thank you so much.
And that's where we are today.

Chilling in Fiji, baby.

We're here, you know,
living our best lives.

Oh, yes. Let me show you guys
a little bit. All right.

So we'll be back with more very soon.

[narrator] Thanks, Hannah and Anna.
What a cracking series that was.

However, we've had reports that humping
was seen in the background.

But just who was humping?

You won't wanna miss this.

Welcome back to
Love Island USA: Unseen Bits.

Earlier, news broke that the background
of a Love Island Live interview

shockingly contained rogue humping.

Okay, ready?

We're starting a new segment
here called Love Island Live.

[narrator] And like the Mile High Club,
humping made it to air.

Keenan was the culprit.

He was humping a beanbag live
on Love Island Live.

Executive producers Hannah and Anna
have been summoned to the beach hut

to address the matter of the humping.

Are we in trouble? sh*t.

This is reality TV.

This is...
We are unfiltered, unedited, uncut.

And if they don't like it,
they could turn the channel.

Yes. Turn the channel off, babe.

[narrator] You can't say that, girls.
You'll end up canceled.

-Are we fired?
-Yeah.

Humping is no laughing matter.
Issue a formal apology now.

-We are so sorry.
-I guess.

And #HumpForKeenan.

If you ain't humping, you ain't winning.

If you're not humping, you're not pumping.

-sh*t.
-Okay.

[narrator] The girls have spoken.

It's hard to know if Love Island Live
will ever recover from Humpgate,

but hopefully they'll find out
a way to get over this hump.

We're so controversial.

Cue the cheesy game show music.

-[music playing]
-It's time for...

Islanders, for today's Blitz,

let's see you bust your best moves.

I think I'm the best dancer here,
not to toot my own horn.

I can't...

move my body.

I was born with it, I guess you can say.

Look, hair, point.

I just get in my rhythm
and all of a sudden,

I see a guy coming up to me.
I'm like, "Okay."

You just have to slow up the tempo.

Bring it up, bring it up, bring it up.

So like... [vocalizing] Hey.

Or you can just speed it up
and go at the real pace of it.

I'm like, down. I'm just like...

Like that. I'm, like, "Oh, oh."

The smile, the smile.

I use the fishing pole
when I want a man in the club.

A lot with the feet.

♪ Riding on a disco train ♪

I call it the Bergie.
It's just like, "Yeah, yeah."

You gotta show the body. Show the hips.

♪ Disco town ♪

[vocalizing]

♪ Disco town ♪

And a little grab, back up,
then like, "Show me what you got."

[laughs]

Hands on the knees. Hands on the knees.

Twerk something. Twerk something.

[Leonardo] One, two, three, tap.
Then you come back.

[Keenan] This. Land the plane.
Land the plane.

"Oh, you don't know me?"

"Now you do." [scoffs]

♪ Disco town ♪

And if you drop the mic,
you just say f*ck it, like...

Oh.

♪ Disco town ♪

Put your booty out if you ain't got a man.

I'm coming to you.

I hope we got some good content.

[narrator] That's all, folks.

Tune in next week
for another gripping installment of...

Before I go, here are some of my memes

from your Bust Your Best Moves
Beach Hut Blitz.

There's this one.

And this one!

Meme your favorite moment of the show
and post it on social media.

#LoveIslandUSA.

#UnseenBits.

See you next week.

[theme song playing]