16x11 - Corporate Queens

[bunniefuu]

- [singing] MTV

- Previously on
"RuPaul's Drag Race"...

You've got to let your voice
be heard in the anthem "Power."

- [singing] I got the power

And I know how to use it

I got the power

[cheering]

- Plane Jane, do you wish
to use your immunity potion?

- I would like to give this

immunity potion to Nymphia Wind.

[dramatic music]

- Sapphira.

- You were so funkdafied.

- Morphine.

- I really saw you shine.

- You are the top two
queens of the week.

And tonight,
no one is going home.

[cheering]

Sapphira, you're a winner, baby.

[laughs]

[upbeat music]

- Whoo!

[laughs]

- Whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo!

- We are back in the Werk Room,
and nobody is eliminated.

And I have another win.

I feel fabulous.

- Can we just take a minute
to congratulate

Miss Sapphira on her second win?

Yes!
- Yes.

- Congrats, Sapphira.

- And congratulations, Morphine,

on getting to lip-synch.
- Ugh, I hate that you won.

- Why?
You got a problem?

- I got a f*cking problem.
I got a problem.

I got a problem.

- What you gonna do about it?

- I got a problem.

[laughter]

- Finally being in the top
only to lose in a lip sync?

I am angry.

I definitely feel like
I should have won,

period point blank.com Dupree.

So I don't want her to
feel good about her win, OK?

Is that so wrong?

Is it wrong for me to, like,
make her not happy?

Oh, God.

- Speaking of sisterhood,
you gave your immunity

to Nymphia.
- I did, yes.

- Thank you, Plane.

- In a moment of sisterly love.
- Yes.

- I decided to give
this immunity potion

to Nymphia
because she is actually

a girl that I really enjoy.

And also, I was thinking
if I knock a bottom bitch

off that runway,
perhaps that'll leave

Q and Dawn in the bottom.

- Do you wish you had
used it on yourself?

- No.

You know what?

At the end of the day,
I didn't end up needing it.

- I don't know.

Tonight, I would qualify
as a bottom for you.

- I don't recall myself being,
you know, announced

the bottom three,
proclaimed the bottom three

in front of the world.

- You live on another planet,
bitch.

Plane was in the bottom.

That is absolutely...
Roll the footage back.

- Plane Jane, this week,
you were slightly

overpowered by Nymphia.

- Plane was called last
in the judging.

We all know what that means.

That bitch was not even
bottom two.

She was bottom one.

- Plane, listen, baby,
we all have bad nights.

- This wasn't
a bad night for me.

- It seems like it is.

You're... you're very upset.

- The notion
that I was in the bottom...

Do you see this?
Do you f*cking see this?

- Yeah, I see it.

It's a boring, sparkly dress.

- Ooh.
- Yeah, OK.

So you want to... OK.

- Get her.

- Can I be honest?

I'm having a lot of fun
getting a little rise out

of Miss Planey at the moment.

- So you want
to do this right now?

So let's f*cking do this.
- Baby, I'll do it.

- Let's f*cking do this.

This is a boring f*cking dress?

You're wearing rags from
a f*cking kid's bedroom, babe.

- No, baby, but mine...
- Yes, you are.

- No, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no.

OK, no, no.
- You look a fool.

You look a fool.

Doo-doo clown mess.

You're so obsessed with concept.

You know, this is gorgeous.

This is all concept
and no gorgeousness.

You're a creature from
the Black Lagoon that needs

to go back into the depths.

- Plane Jane is... [cracking]

That porcelain skin is cracking.

She is pissed.

- Ugh.

- Mhi'ya, save me.

These b*tches crazy, Mhi'ya.
These b*tches crazy, Mhi'ya.

- I'm just saying,
it's a gorgeous, gorgeous,

gorgeous, gown.

It's a gorgeous, gorgeous gown.

- These queens want
so badly to see me flop.

It's just not happening.

Sorry, girls.

You know, my track record
is still squeaky clean.

And you can all suck it.

- Ah!

- Girl, I have never seen
anybody get Plane like that.

- The way you were shook.

- You thought I was gonna
let a bitch f*cking read me?

A bitch looking like that?

- [laughs]

- Tensions are high.

All of us are like this
right now.

We're like... we're, like,
so close to the top four.

Any little thing
will struck a nerve.

And I am here for it, honey.

- Justice for Morphine Love.

You know, it's just, ah.

- [laughs]

- [singing] "RuPaul's Drag Race"

- The winner
of "RuPaul's Drag Race"

receives a one year supply
of Anastasia

Beverly Hills cosmetics
and a gag-worthy grand prize

of $200,000 served by Cash App.

With extra special guest judge
Joel Kim Booster.

- [singing] RuPaul's Drag Race

May the best drag queen win

Best drag queen win

[upbeat music]

- Girl, what you doing?

Ooh, ooh, ooh.
- Ah, ah, ah.

- It is a new day
in the Werk Room,

and there are still seven of us.

- Are we still annoyed that
we are still seven of us?

Because I am.

- Damn, bitch,
let a bitch sit down first.

Hold on.
- You're still sitting.

- Ooh, she's struggling.

Come on, fat mom.

Do you need help?

- Having seven
was cute last week...

Unity, equality, kumbaya.

But I'm trying to win
$200,000 and a crown.

So these b*tches gots to go.

- It was nice
knowing you, Nymphia.

- You said it was
nice knowing Nymphia?

- What are you talking
about, Miss Mhi'ya?

- You're next.

- Are you sure?

You haven't seen
my full potential.

- I mean,
all I've seen is bananas.

- It's a quiet fight, you guys.

We might need subtitles.

We might need subtitles for
the whispers of this season.

- Hello, hello, hello.

- Hi.
- Hello!

- Come on with the surprise.

- Ladykins,
drag is a sisterhood.

So at this point
in the competition,

I want to see how well you know
each other and yourselves.

- OK.

- So for today's mini challenge,

we're gonna play a little game
we call Spill the Tea.

[cheering]

Served by Cash App.

- Ooh, Spill the Tea.

This should be good.

- OK, now here's how
Spill the Tea works.

I ask a question, like
who's the prettiest queen?

Then you all vote for yourself
or one of your fellow queens.

Now each time your answer
matches the majority,

you get $100.

In the end, the queen
with the most money wins.

Queens, you ready?
- Yes, mama.

- Let's spill the tea.

[children cheering]

First question...

Which queen is
the most passive aggressive?

- Ooh.

- OK, paddles up.

Nymphia is the most
passive aggressive.

[laughs]

- I know I'm a passive
aggressive person,

but I didn't know
everyone knew that.

So I should have voted myself.

g*dd*mn it.

- Plane, Q, and Sapphira
each get $100.

- Ooh.
- You bitch.

- Question number two...
Which queen

is most likely not to know
what passive aggressive means?

[laughter]

Morphine is the least likely
to know.

In fact,
Morphine voted for herself.

Which queen are you most likely
to block online?

- Oh.

- Paddles up.

- Oh.
[laughs]

Everyone voted for Plane Jane,

except for Plane Jane.

Which queen is the flirtiest?

[gasps]
Oh, my goodness.

It's unanimous.

Which queen is the gassiest
of the bunch?

Paddles up.

Dawn is the gassiest queen.

- Period.

- Let's check on the scoreboard.

Ka-ching, ka-ching.

Next question...
Which queen is the most likely

to blame the edit?

[laughter]
- Oh, sh*t.

- Paddles up.

- Ooh, Morphine is the queen
most likely to blame the edit.

Which queen is most likely
to spend

her $200,000 grand prize wisely?

Ooh, Sapphira.

Next question...
Which queen is most likely

to blow her $200,000

on latex breastplates?

OK, paddles up.

Plane Jane.
- [laughs]

- That means the majority
get $100,000 each.

Oh, wait, what?
- Yes!

[cheering]

- Not $100,000, bitch.

$100.

Next question...
If you're performing

for your drag sisters,
which queen do you trust

to give you the biggest tip?

Just the tip, ladies.

Oh, my goodness.

It's unanimous again...

Sapphira.

All right, final question...

Which queen
is the most delusional?

- Oh.

- This is gonna be
very difficult for you.

You have to think long and hard.

[gasps]
Oh, my God.

[laughs]

Plane Jane.
- Huh? Why?

[laughter]

Me?
Certainly not me, honey.

Dawn is the most delusional
for thinking

that my outfit wasn't good.

[laughter]

b*tches.

- OK, queens, with $900,
the winner of today's

mini challenge is Sapphira.

- Hey!

- Condragulations.

You've won an additional $2,500
cash tip served by Cash App...

- Ching-ching.

- Which takes your
total winnings to $3,400.

- Oh, I win that money, too?
- Yes.

That's money, honey.

- [laughs]

$3,400 for spilling the tea?

That's not a bad gig, honey.

Call me, She-MZ.

- And yes, the rest of you
get to keep your cash, too.

- Yes.

[applause]

- Ladykins, the human
resources department

has asked me to make
a very important announcement.

This week is
Drag Awareness Month.

So for this week's
maxi challenge,

I want you to come up with
your own silly and sickening

drag awareness
employee seminars.

- Oh, sh*t.

I do have experience in hosting,

but an informative speech?

Mm.

- Now you'll be
working as teams.

Q, Plane Jane, your topic is

"Do you know
your drag herstory?"

Mhi'ya and Dawn, your topic is
"Drag in the werkplace."

And I do mean werk.

- [laughs]

- Sapphira, Nymphia, Morphine,
your topic

is, "Are you a drag queen?

You might be surprised."

Ladykins,
this is your chance to be

ambassadors of confusion,
unemployment,

nerve, and telekinesis.

[laughter]

Racers, start your engines,

and may the best drag queen win.

[laughter]

- Let's do this, sister.
- Pew, pew, pew, pew!

- Okey-dokey.

Hello, Miss Mhi'ya.
- Yes.

- How are you?

- I'm ready to get this going.

- Yeah, I'm excited.

This is a test
of not just hosting skill

and comedic skill,
but also how well can you

present
a slide show presentation.

I literally think this
challenge is perfect for me.

I have a degree in engineering.

I'm very used
to making presentations,

and I'm a very silly person.

And so I think that those skills

will tie in nicely here.

- This will be
my first time doing

a presentation like this.

I'm nervous, but thankfully
Dawn is a smart girl.

So hopefully
we can get through this

together and come out on top.

- Drag in the werkplace.

Do you have any thoughts
about that so far?

- Tell jokes, read.

- Uh-huh.

- Have fun.

- I love Mhi'ya.

However, I am a bit concerned
because I know

that she can be a little quiet,

and this is, like,
a hosting-banter challenge.

What is a drag queen?

How to spot one, how to speak
to one, how to engage.

Do you have any thoughts
about the direction

that we're going right now?

- Um...

yeah, this is gonna
be interesting for me.

- Of everybody left
in the competition,

the only people without a win
are me and Morphine.

I want to be in the top four,
and I think that to get there,

you need to have a win.

This is it.
This is game time.

Oh, we could have,
like, a drag queen

in the werkplace emergency kit
that includes bear spray.

Do you know what I mean?
- Um...

wait, say it again.

- I think Dawn and Mhi'ya's
seminar is gonna be like this.

Dawn's gonna be like,
"Oh, my God. Can I be honest?

Mhi'ya, how do you feel?"

Mhi'ya is gonna be like,
"Well, I'm all right, you know?

I'm here.
I'm good."

[laughs]

- I feel like
we're in high school,

and we're preparing for, like,
an English presentation.

- Exactly.
Very that.

- For this challenge,
we have to write and present

a presentation about drag.

Do you know anything
about seminars?

- I don't think
I've ever been to a seminar.

I'm not really sure
what that is.

- People talk on a podium.

[quirky music]

Like Steve Jobs?

Yeah.
Girl, what's a seminar?

- So what we're gonna do
is deliver, project.

We're gonna be funny.

- I feel very stressed out.

I can do this.
I can do this.

I can do this. I can do this.

I can do this.

- I'm a host, so this is
something I am pretty good at.

However, I got Tweedledee

and Tweedle Banana
working with me,

two people who are
very clearly anxious.

Ah!

- You know a fun fact?

Actually, when I started drag,

I made, like, a presentation
to show my mom justifying

why I was doing drag.

I prepared, like,
a little presentation,

and I came to her room
and when I presented it to her.

And I was like, so this is
a little bit of drag history.

- Oh, my God.
That is crazy.

- This is what drag is today.

And this is me, and this is
why I want to do drag.

The end.
It wasn't very funny.

- She wasn't laughing?
- She wasn't.

She was... she was crying.

- I feel actually good
about my teammate.

We've had our little tiffs
in the past,

but I'm glad I have someone
with me that's, you know,

so driven and...
And ready to just give 100%.

- Maybe we do something
like Aristotle, who first,

you know, developed
the philosophy

of the inner saboteur
or something like that.

- That was a good one.

- I kind of think
Plane and Q are gonna nail it.

- I'm so pleased with myself.

- Plane has the jokes,
and Q has the ability

to learn the jokes.
[laughs]

That was so hateful.

- Oh, girl.
- Ah!

- Oh.
- You thought like that.

- So what makes a drag queen?

- Hello, hello, hello.

- Oh!
- Oh!

- Hi.

Please give a warm
"Drag Race" welcome

to the multi-talented
Joel Kim Booster.

- Oh, my God.

- Happy Drag Awareness Month,
queens.

We are here to help.
- Yay.

- Joel Kim Booster
is, like, a very successful

comedian and actor and writer.

I'm excited
to get critiqued by him.

- Oh, my gosh.

He is so hot.

I know he's a comedian,
but I mean,

he should sign up to OnlyFans
or something because,

girl, gorgeous.

- Plane Jane and Q,
come on over.

- That's us.
Hello, hello.

- Hi.
- Hi.

I want to know
what you have in store.

- We're gonna teach
drag herstory to...

To the breeders of the world.

[laughter]

- So you two, how do you work
together as a team?

- I can sense
the energy differences,

like, right off the bat.

- We do hate each other,
but we've gotten past that.

I feel like we do kind of
work well together.

- What are you most nervous
about, Q?

- Right now, we have,
like, a bunch of content.

But now we have to, like,
really finesse it.

- But you're a theater kid.
- Yeah.

- This is where you excel.

You know how to massage
a scene, right?

- I've massaged
a few scenes in my day.

- All right.

Plane Jane, are you nervous
about anything?

- I'm approaching this
cool, calm, and collected,

and I always just assume
that I'm gonna be in the top.

- [laughs]

- I wish that she was,
like, not being truthful,

but she really, like,
always thinks

she's gonna be in the top.
- Really?

- It's part of my sort
of just defense mechanism.

- And your delusion.

- Yes, I feel like delusion is
an integral part of...

Of drag.
- I agree.

- You know?
So I try to approach everything

with a deluded sense
of confidence

to hopefully actually get there.

- They really need to add that
to the acronym...

Charisma, uniqueness,
nerve, talent, and delusion.

It's very important.

But if you have confidence
and you're able to back it up,

it's worth it.

- Do you have any sort of ways
to really nail a punchline?

- Well, I think
for you guys right now,

because you have these slides,

is to think about the ways
in which it's punctuating

the jokes because
the last thing I think

anybody's gonna want to see
you do is be like, "Uh,

and then next."

- Like a TED Talk.

- Oh, right, and then this
and then, you know?

- Don't turn it into a TED Talk.

Use it to your benefit.
- OK.

- Knock 'em dead.
- Thanks.

- We'll try.

- No, you will do.

Mhi'ya and Dawn, you're up next.

- Whoo.
How are we?

- You are drag in the werkplace?

- Yes.

I went to school
for computer science.

I, like, had an office job,
like, before I even came here.

- Wow.

- I'm like, what if, like,
I showed up to work one day

and there was a drag queen
sitting next to me?

Like, what would I need to know
to stay safe in that scenario?

- Safe?
- Yeah, literally.

Safe, exactly.

And so I'm kind of,
like, bringing

the, like, corporate aspect.
- OK.

- And then Mhi'ya has been
doing drag for 82 years.

So she's being,
like, the drag, right?

- Well, be careful, though,
because it sounds a little bit

like you're getting into
straight man territory,

comedically, obviously
not the other one.

But the thing that could
get you in trouble

is if you give
all the comedy to her.

- Right.

- Then what are we, you know,
getting from you comedically?

- Absolutely.

- Do you get on the mic, Mhi'ya?

- Yes, I do.

- Huh?

I don't think she's ever
hosted in her life.

I've never heard her
talk on a mic.

- When you're on the mic,
what do you do?

- I'm interacting
with the crowd.

- Do you ever tell jokes?
- I try.

- Mm-hmm.
Like what?

- Um...

I'll be speaking to the crowd,

and then I'll see
the people on the sidewalk.

I'll say, "Hey,
it's free to come in.

You can't catch the gay."

- OK.
What about you, Dawn?

- Me and my friend on the mic,
were very, like,

kind of nonsensical.

We're almost there
to annoy the audience.

Yeah, exactly.

- You need to be funny,
and you need

to get to the point,
and if you're setting them up,

set them up well and deliver it.

All right, well, good luck.
- Thank you.

- Thank you.
- Nice to meet you.

- Let us get Sapphira,
Morphine, and Nymphia.

- Hello.
- Who's the funniest?

[upbeat music]

- Probably me.
- Yeah.

- And the most modest.

- I'm more, like,
naturally kiki funny,

like, with the girls.

- Do you have some good jokes?

- One of the things
I was gonna say

for the intro was, "Did you know

after every drag brunch,
seven drag queens are born?"

- Ooh.

- You're not laughing,
so I'm gonna

have to change that.
- Yeah, what I...

I'm sensing is that you have
a really good premise.

And then what is
the funny thought beyond that?

Like, seven drag queens
are born,

and then what happens to them?

- This challenge
really triggers me

because it makes me feel
like I'm in high school.

I graduated with
a 2.3 GPA for a reason.

Thoughts and prayers.

I'm trying to get
out of this mindset.

It's not good, not good.

- I have a question.

Many threesomes
I have been in...

- Where are you going with this?

- Definitely have wanted
to be two instead.

Threesomes are really difficult.

There's a lot of needs
to service.

How are you guys handling
making sure that she is not

the star of your threesome?

- Beyoncé right there.

- I consider each of us
Beyoncé as well.

- Well, I mean, you should.

The chorus does have
to come together,

though, for it to make sense.
- Of course. Of course.

[dramatic music]

- Sapphira tends
to be kind of dominating.

- Good luck,

and we'll see you out there.

- So I need to find a way
to not be the sideline girl

and stand out from the group.

- Gather around, queens.

Queens, gather round.

Tomorrow, you will be
making your drag awareness

presentations on the main stage

in front of a live audience
of bored employees,

who are only there
for the free snacks.

- Oh.

- Live audiences are hard, Mary.

I am praying
that this crowd is not

full of Karens
and corporate devils

because if that happens,
I will pass out.

- And on the runway,
category is flashback...

DragCon 1980.

[cheering]

- And one more thing.

Good luck, and don't f*ck it up!

[cheering]

- You got it.
- Bye!

- Bye.
- Bye.

[upbeat music]

- Ah!

- Today, we're doing
our drag seminars

in front of a live audience
and the judges.

Q and I feel fairly confident.

We have all the jokes.
We have our slides.

- A lot of our jokes
are actually, like,

really smart and funny,
and I think everybody

will, like, kind of get them.
- Yeah.

- It's gonna be
bloody hilarious.

- How are you feeling
about the challenge?

- You know, I'm in
my positive area where

I'm super self-confident.

So I am ready and excited
for the challenge.

But deep down,
this was so f*cking tough.

This morning, it definitely
felt a bit better.

I feel good and comfortable
with what I came up with.

And hopefully, I'll just, like...

- Knock it out the ballpark.
- Yeah.

I am ready to surprise
myself this challenge.

With this live audience,
I'm going to give them

the best, memorable night
they'll ever experience.

- If I mess up, keep going,
be funny, do something stupid.

- We got this.
- I'm ready.

I'm not ready, but I'm ready.

- What an odd pairing,
you and Mhi'ya.

I really was like, "Wow."

- Honestly, like, when I
found out that it would be me

and Mhi'ya, I was like,
"Damn, they got, like,

"the... the two most
opposite b*tches

in this room on the same team."

This pairing has definitely
been a challenge for me.

Going into the challenge today,
I am prepared.

I know my lines.
I know my bits.

But I can also tell
Mhi'ya is really anxious.

So I am stressed.

I think we're gonna give
good cop, bad cop,

but not cops
and not good or bad,

just opposite.
Do you know what I mean?

- So it sounds like
you're not giving anything.

[laughter]

- I think it's kind of
up in the air

as to how this is going to go.

I know the song.
I'm not going home tonight.

The idea of lip-synching
against Mhi'ya is horrifying.

However, lip-synching
against someone

who's been in the bottom
three times already,

much less horrifying, if...

If, you know, God forbid,
that were to happen.

[blows raspberry]

- I'm excited about
the runway today.

- I am very excited
about the runway today.

I'm just, like, in awe at...

- OK.

- How astounding
and gorgeous I look.

- OK, forget I asked.

- I am doing something
very sentimental

for the runway today.

- Are you?
- Yes.

It's, like, inspired
by the generation of, like,

gay people that we lost,
like, to the AIDS epidemic

in the '80s.
So it's like...

- Fierce.

- Really, really special to me.

And, um, um.

I have also been HIV positive

for like two years now.

[soft dramatic music]

- Sister.

- When I, like, first got
my diagnosis, I felt like...

I felt, like...
Like, really lost and, like,

I was, like, super alone.

I tested positive when I was 24.

I was mostly, like,
scared about, you know,

how I was going to be treated
by family and people

around me who don't
understand it because,

you know, it is so stigmatized.

You know, people have,
like, said, like...

Like, really, like, awful,
nasty things to me and, like,

almost, like, dehumanized me.

But like, I'm here.

I'm on "Drag Race."

Like, you know,
I'm living my dreams.

And like, you know,
I have a loving husband that,

like, really...

That really supports
and loves me,

no matter what and...

- Mama, kudos for...

For saying that, for spilling.

Like, seriously.

I want to be there
for her because

I've come to really love
and value and respect Q,

and I really do feel for Q
in this moment.

- It's crazy, like, how much,
like, people with, like, HIV,

like, have to deal with.

I've been treated differently
by, like,

healthcare providers.

I think it's so important
to have just, like,

q*eer people in,
like, healthcare.

- Uh-huh.

- You really feel that
difference in care, like,

between, like, those providers.

- Do you hear that, gay people?

Stop doing drag and start going

to medical school.

- No, just you, stop doing drag.

[laughter]

- You wish, bitch.

[upbeat music]

- When I tell you I'm sleeping
in until 5:00 p.m. tomorrow.

- Mm-hmm.

- You mean on the plane
on the way back?

- Not today.

Not today, mama.

- Sorry, you set yourself up
for that one, mama.

- Not today.

[RuPaul's "Cover Girl"]

- [singing] Cover girl,
put some bass in your walk

Head to toe

Let your whole body talk

And what?

Welcome to the main stage
of "RuPaul's Drag Race."

Michelle Visage.

Now how are you celebrating
Drag Awareness Month?

- Well, Ru, I already gave it
the office.

- What did you give?

- Anything you want.

[laughter]

- The hilarious Ross Mathews.

Now how are you celebrating?

- Well, for the very
first time ever,

to show solidarity, I tucked.
- Oh.

- Do I look taller?

- I don't know,
but your voice is deeper.

- Thanks, man.
[laughter]

- And our extra special
guest judge,

Joel Kim Booster.

Are you ready for your
drag orientation, my dear?

- Ooh, that sounds like fun.

Is there an a**l option?

- Oh, absolutely.

[laughter]

This week,
we challenged our queens

to make silly and sickening
drag awareness presentations.

Racers, start your engines,

and may the best drag queen win.

Yes, I do have another arm.

- The whole time.

- In recognition of
Drag Awareness Month,

please welcome Plane Jane and Q.

- Hello. Hello.

Hello, everybody.

Thank you for having us here
at HeteroDynamics Corp.

I am Dr. Q.
- Mm-hmm.

And I'm Dr. Plane Jane, MD.

- We were actually invited
here by HeteroDynamics

CEO Ross Mathews

to educate you all
on drag herstory.

- Mm-hmm, we'd like you to take
a look at the following slides.

[laughter]

- Yes, yes.

And now some herstoric clips.

- Let it all sink in.

[quirky music]

- Brilliant. Brilliant.

- Now that that's over with,
welcome to...

[together]
"Our Herstory Drags On:

"Heels, Wigs, and the Tenacity

of the Human Spirit."
- Oh.

- Oh.

- We're gonna get started
with famous people

you may not have known
were drag queens

throughout herstory.

- Our 16th president,
"Honest Abe"

was actually a drag queen.
- Wow.

- But some of you may know him
better as Babraham Stincoln.

- Ah.

- Four whores
and seven queers ago.

- Beautifully said,
Dr. Q.

Couldn't have
done better myself.

- Thank you, Dr. Plane.
- Of course.

Benjamin Franklin,
who was known better

by her stage name BJ Bottoms,

was also a glorious drag queen.

In fact, when she was
struck by lightning,

she became the first queen

whose p*ssy
was actually on fire.

- Ah.
- Oh, my gosh.

Ouch, that had to hurt.
- I'm sure it did, Dr. Q.

- Oh, my gosh.

The first drag queen
ass-tronomer on the moon

was Shaneil Armschlong.

- And, mama, you couldn't
see under her spacesuit,

but, honey,
if she had to lip-synch

for her mother-tucking life...

- Bitch, she was ready
to lip-synch

for her m*therf*cking life,
bitch.

She was ready to do so, bitch.

- Doctor, doctor,
compose yourself, doctor.

- Doctor, I just...

I get so inspired
by drag herstory.

So moving on, some of
the most famous drag queens

have also been used
as inspiration for monuments.

- That's right.

Most notably, Mount Rushmore was

built in the likeness
of the "RuPaul's

Drag Race" judging panel.

Just as in life,
their faces are cold,

unmoving, and birds
love to sh*t on 'em.

[laughter]

- Did you know
that drag queens shaped

a lot of universal events?
- That's right.

Who's heard of the Big Bang?
Yeah? Yeah?

Well, forget
all you know about it.

It didn't happen.

What actually created
the universe was the big tuck.

Dr. Q, correct me
if I'm mistaken,

but I believe it was the great.

Albert Einstein that once said,
"All that's tucked

must come untucked."

And when the big tuck popped,

all matter came flying out
of it and hurtling

through space and time.

- Doctor, doctor, doctor.
- Oh, doctor.

[together]
Doctor.

- Doctor, doctor, doctor.

Girl, it's funny.

- Drag queens have cinched
in herstory's waist.

- And they've carved out
the hip pads that have

shaped the known universe.

On that note, be kind, breeders.

- You never know if
the queen sitting next to you

is the one that will shape
the herstory of the future.

- Thank you so much.

[together]
Go tuck yourselves.

[cheers and applause]

- Oh.

- Plane and I
crushed this challenge.

- I love you, doctor.
- I love you, doctor.

- Oh, doctor.
Oh, oh.

We're leaving
the stage feeling, like,

on top of the world.

- Please welcome Dawn
and Mhi'ya Iman Le'Paige.

[applause]

- Hey, everybody.
Oh, my God.

I'm Dawn.

Are we all partying?

We're drinking, right?
No?

Is that my other gig?

Oh, f*ck, sorry.

Hi, I'm Dawn,
and I've been working

in the corporate sphere
for the past 35 years.

But I'm also
a sickening drag queen.

And on set today, we also have

a full-time drag queen herself,
Mhi'ya Iman Le'Paige.

[applause]

- Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my gosh, I just came
from this afterparty.

It was lit, but hi, everybody.

I'm Mhi'ya Iman La'Paige.

- And welcome
to "You Betta' Werk."

- And this is the guide
to how to tame a drag queen.

[together]
You don't want

to f*ck with a drag queen.

- All right, everybody,
with the mainstream success

of "RuPaul's Drag Race,"

we've had the craziest number
of crunchy baby queens

that we've ever had
in the world.

We've also seen
that some seasoned queens

that are used to the nightclub
are now returning

to their corporate roots.

[laughter]

- In the past year,
there have been 18 broken limbs

due to drag close encounters.

- So we're here to keep you safe

as you venture into
the dangerous world

of being 10 feet
from a drag queen.

On your first day working
with a drag queen,

you'll probably have many,
many questions,

such as, why am I sitting
next to this clown?

But I want you to remember
that that clown

is a human, a delusional human
with grandeur in her brain.

So you cannot get in her way,
or she will come for you.

- As you settle
into your new life

with your new drag partner,

here are some keys to disregard

or disarm what she has going on.

- Huh?

- Here are some help...
Helpful phrases to avoid that.

- It is...
[whistles]

[imitates expl*si*n]

Crash, mama.

- Hey, boo.

Damn, ma, you look fierce.

Or, ooh,
where you get that from?

Remember that she is
not there to do her job.

So you make sure you tell her
to do her damn job.

- But in extreme cases,
we will be providing

each and every single
one of you with a...

[together]
Drag queen in the workplace

emergency kit.

- It comes with
a mint and deodorant,

a sh*t of Hennessy,
a taser, and bear spray.

- Disclaimer, this kit
will not ensure your safety.

But if all hell breaks loose...

[together]
Run, bitch.

- We really do
wish you the best.

And maybe you won't just survive

your next encounter
with a drag queen,

but you'll actually enjoy it.

- And...
And don't forget to tip us

and tell us we look gorgeous.

Or else...

- It's your ass.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen.

- Thank you.
- Whoo!

[applause]

- Dawn and Mhi'ya,
chemistry zero.

- You've been lovely.

- I got to go back
to the afterparty.

- Mm-mm.

It's a no for me, dog.

[applause]

- Please welcome
to the stage Sapphira,

Morphine, and Nymphia.

[applause]

- Hey, y'all.

How's it going?

- Hello, sweetie.

Future drag queens!

- Well, they told me y'all
would have drinks and snacks,

but let's do a toast anyway.

Everyone raise your hand.

There once was
a woman named Alice.

She used dynamite as a phallus.

They found her vag*na
in North Carolina

and her assh*le
in Buckingham Palace.

Cheers.
Yeah.

- Drag is in the air.

It is quite contagious.

We are here to help you
identify the signs

and symptoms of being a...

[together]
Drag queen.

- I am the Reverend
Dr. Sapphira Cristál.

- And I am drag expert
in cunning linguistics,

Morphine Love Dion.

- And I am professor
in bananaology

at John Hopkinson, Nymphia Wind.

- And this is,
"Are You a Drag Queen?"

You don't look
like a drag queen.

[together] But you feel
like a drag queen.

- Feel.
- Feel.

- Like a drag queen.

- Did you know 365 drag queens
are born every Halloween?

- Wow.
- Ah!

- Ooh!
- Oh, my God.

- Ghastly.
Ghastly.

- That is dirty, mama.

- How many of you have
put on a wig on Halloween?

And I want honest answers.

Raise your hand.
- Mm.

- I'm not really feeling
the truth

coming from
this entire audience,

which gets us for our
first behavioral symptom.

Drag queens are
pathological liars.

- Mm-hmm.

- I don't know about that.

I am the premiere
Jane Goodall impersonator,

winner of Snatch Game.
- Oh.

- And I am the first lady
of Florida.

- And I am Wesley Snipes.

[laughter]

Lying is not only fun.

It is compulsory.

And if you don't know
what compulsory means,

neither do I.
Speaking of other things

I have no idea about,
being on time.

Drag queens
are perpetually late.

This seminar was supposed
to start three hours ago.

But it's starting
right on time for us.

That's the magic of...

[together]
Drag time.

- Drag queens have amazing,
delusional attitudes.

- Mm-hmm.

- In addition to that,
we are way in...

We are extreme narcissists.

- I notice that Sapphira
seems to be slipping up.

- You should
really see your doctor

and then go home
and stare in your mirror.

- But then she, like, does
her little Sapphira chuckle

and, like, moves on.

- What makes fashion drag?

Have you ever wondered
what that makeup stain is

on your man's collar?

Ladies, don't be quick
to think it's another woman.

He might be the other woman.

Girl, that's a drag queen.

- [laughs]

- Does anyone here
have long nails?

Oh, I can't do the dishes.

Oh, pick this up for me.

Oh, wipe my ass.

Bitch,
you're already a drag queen.

- [laughs]

- You match
this with that trousers?

Honey, you are very lucky.

You have natural drag immunity.

You know what?

It's better you don't do drag.

- Now I think it's time
for drag vocabulary.

Whoo.

Thank you, Nymphia.

Drag queens are known
to add pizzazz, sparkle,

and spunk to certain words
and phrases.

For example, if you say...

- That's sick, bro.

- Then you might not
be a drag queen.

But if you say it like,
"That's sickening, mama."

Bitch, if you start saying...

Wait.
[clears throat]

Drag queen flopping.

- Why would you clue
the audience into the fact

that you're flopping?

Now everyone clocked your tea,
honey,

and you clocked yourself.

- And, bitch,
if you start every sentence

with bitch, then, bitch,

you might be a drag queen,
bitch.

- If you relate to anything
you've heard tonight,

please stand up.

There we go.
Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you.

Now raise your hand
and repeat after us.

[together]
Bitch, werk.

All: Bitch, werk.

- Oh.
- Thank you so much.

You have now been indoctrinated
into the drag queen system.

- Thank you, everyone.

Thank you.
- Thank you.

Have a good night.

Bye-bye.

- Whoo, that was something.

I felt pretty good.

I dropped the ball for a second,

but I think I picked it back up.

Bitch, I think we did good.

[applause]

[upbeat music]

- Category is Flashback:

DragCon 1980.

Up first, Plane Jane.

Ooh, climax is back.

- I'm wowing
the judges yet again

with a different silhouette

for Plane Jane,
a severe power suit.

It's tailored
perfectly to my body.

I don't own 51% of this company.

I built it from the ground up,
and now I own everything.

- I said I wanted a bagel,
not a Nagel.

[laughter]

- Q.
- I knew it.

She's a red Haring.

- This dress is made with
a Keith Haring inspired print.

He was a really popular
activist in the '80s

for, like,
you know, AIDS awareness.

And the lapel of this is like
the AIDS awareness ribbon.

This look is an homage to
all the q*eer people that were

lost during the AIDS epidemic.

I'm giving a message,
but, you know, I'm also

giving something beautiful.

- You know, I love it
when a queen acts up.

Dawn.

OK, Haysi Fantayzee.

- This look is
'80s rocker punk bitch.

I'm wearing kind of,
like, chappy pants,

but they're, like,
being suspended by a coat.

I made this by myself.

What would a punk rock
drag queen

wear to DragCon in the 1980s?
This.

- Lisa Frank BDSM fantasy.

- Mhi'ya Iman Le'Paige.

All right, Patti LaBelle.
- Mm-hmm.

- I literally googled
DragCon 1980s,

and this look popped up.

I wanted to add more
to the look,

so I added the flowers
on the shoulders.

So I'm feeling like the queen.

- You guys know what they
say about big hair, right?

- No, what?
- No, I'm asking.

Do you guys know
what they say about big hair?

- Sapphira.

- She is cute as a button.

- Baby, I got the biggest hair
in the building.

It's giving 1980s prom,
"Dynasty."

It is quintessential


These girls don't even know
what the '80s are.

I, at least,
was born in the '80s.

- You know what
she's gonna be doing later?

- No, what?
- The neutron dance.

- Oh.
Morphine.

- So this outfit
is rhinestoned for the gods.

However, this hair is borrowed
from Q because my wig broke.

So this is not the wig
that I'm supposed to wear,

but I love this outfit
because I'm giving

business in the front
and puta sucia in the back.

- Frederick's of Dollywood.

Ooh, that's gonna leave a mark.

- This is what Angeline wore
to her bat mitzvah.

[laughter]

Up next, the Nymphia Wind.

Put some grace in your face.

- I'm serving hot,
mysterious vampire.

This is my take of Grace Jones
in the movie "Vamp".

So I hand-painted
these white lines inspired

by Keith Haring's art.

I'm giving you the big hair
and the broad shoulders

and just shapes.

- Her p*ssy is not on fire.
It's electric.

- Yeah, that's right.

I'm not perfect,
but I'm perfect for you.

Welcome, queens.

This week, you worked as teams.

But tonight,
you'll be judged individually.

Up first, Plane Jane.

- This look is just everything
I hope to be when I'm 50.

- Thank you.

[laughter]

- I just love it.

- And I really loved
your presentation.

I was so into it.

I felt like it was
the most joke dense

of all three
of the presentations.

You two are so stupid.

- [laughs]

- There were moments when
the rhythm got off track,

and the rhythm is gonna get you.

OK?
It is.

But you were able
to sort of pull it back in.

My favorite part, "I need
you to look at some slides."

It doesn't need to be
more complicated than that.

- So who came up with
the slides and the clips?

- The slides and the clips
was Q's idea.

- Mm-hmm.

- And all the other jokes,
we spitballed

those off of each other, and
it was great working with you.

- Yeah, sister.
I love you, sister.

- Thank you.
Up next, Q.

- The slides and the clips,
that was my favorite part.

- The rhythm of the way
in which you even

just went from slide to slide...

- Babraham Stincoln.

- The timing of it
was always so perfect.

- You did a very strong showing.

Was it the funniest thing
I've ever seen?

No, but I love
what you're wearing tonight.

I love the dotted tights
with the red pumps.

That's so '80s.
- I love the silhouette.

I love the colors.

- So this is a Keith Haring
inspired print,

and this is
the AIDS awareness ribbon,

and I have been HIV positive
for the past two years.

[soft dramatic music]

So to be on this platform
and just

to be able
to be open about that,

that's really important to me.

None of my family knows,
but I'm really

taking this as a moment
to, like,

try to open up to them about it.

- Thank you for inspiring us
with your dress

and being so beautiful
with your truth.

We love you,

and we really love your courage.

- Thank you so much.
- Up next, Dawn.

- So, Dawn, this look,
to me, isn't quite '80s,

but it's very Dawn.
- I think this look is '80s.

Michelle, we're talking
about the 1980s.

- Oh, I thought
you meant the 1880s.

Thank you, Ross.
Thank you.

I was like,
"Where's the horse and buggy?"

[laughter]

Thank you.

- There's a group called
Sigue Sigue Sputnik.

This is an exact replica
of what they wore.

I love this outfit.
I love it.

- Let's talk about
the challenge.

You've got
a wonderful personality

where it's like, "Oh, God,
I love her right away."

And then there was a lot
of heavy lifting for you to do.

- My major qualm was
that it was very confusing.

- We lost the storyline.

The setups that explained
the jokes weren't there.

- It was a mess,
but you held the center

in a really
sort of comforting way.

You know, we didn't quite know
what we were watching,

but, like, every time
it got back to you,

like, I felt a little bit
more secure.

- We saw you doing the work
to try

to get it back on course.
It just... it didn't happen.

- Up next, Mhi'ya Iman Le'Paige.

- Hey.
- Yeah.

- Tonight on the runway,
this Patti LaBelle

hair is life.
The makeup is gorgeous.

But I would have liked
to have seen you

corseted in this look.

It would have been, like, goop.

- OK, let's talk about
the presentation.

It started strong.

When you came out
in that wig and that suit,

I thought, "OK, I'm gonna watch
whatever she is doing."

And then it just felt like
you were in quicksand.

This week was a stumble.

[tense music]

- Coming on this stage was just
a complete disaster for me.

It was just so many things
just hitting

my brain left and right.

- The lucky thing is
is the chances of you ever

having to do a drag seminar
with a presentation

ever again, really low.

- I would love
to watch you do one

as if you were doing it
for your mama and your cousins

in the living room.

That's the you that needed
to do this presentation.

All right, thank you.

Up next, Sapphira.

- This runway...
Yeah, yeah, it's everything

I'd want from DragCon 1980.

- It's f*cking everything.

The height of the hair,
everything.

This look will go down
in history

as one of the stupidest looks
we've ever had on this stage.

- Let's talk about
the challenge.

You have the goods.

You started
so strong with a toast.

Got everybody in the mood.

- But tonight was the first time

that I saw you fumble,
and I was shocked.

- That is so tough because
if you let the audience start

to feel unsafe or distracted,
to get them back in the seat

and to trust you again,
it's way more difficult

than people understand.

- And I think you did
a really great job

of getting back to the center.

In terms of the writing,
I think everybody had moments

to shine, but there were
a lot of moments where

it was somebody else's turn,
and my eyes

kept going back to you.

And that is presence,
and you have it.

- Thank you.

- Up next, Morphine.

- So I'm not getting
so much '80s

as I am deflated Dolly Parton,
but...

But I don't... I don't hate that.

- All right, let's talk
about the challenge.

So you were with
a couple of heavy hitters.

- Sapphira was a juggernaut,
and Nymphia,

too, was very, very strong.

You looked like
you were just struggling

to keep up with those two.

- Wait.
[clears throat]

Drag queen flopping.

- Your instinct to
call attention to your flub

was the right instinct.

It was just the wrong execution.

Like, sometimes
the way out of that

can be even funnier
than the joke.

No, no, no, you misheard me.
I said it right.

You heard it wrong,
you know, or something

along those lines.

- Up next, Nymphia Wind.

- I love this red
with this purple.

The work that's done
with the metal, the painting.

- I love the homage paid
to Grace Jones' movie "Vamp."

- In a runway
that is about the past,

you're somehow also giving
the future of drag.

It is such a relief to come
and see Asian excellence

on this runway.

- All right,
let's talk about the challenge.

You chose to create
a character from scratch.

You were funny.

- And I was amazed
that you were able to pull

this character out.

This is a far cry
from that Snatch Game.

- You laid heavily
into a characterization.

It was actually,
you know, I don't know

if I should be laughing
without getting in trouble.

- I can't do the dishes.

Oh, pick this up for me.

- What is your position on that?

- Well, I just like
any sort of accent.

And I think
it's good to, you know,

share the different sounds
of the world.

- Listen, it was
a real risk to do it.

But that being said,
because you made a choice

that was so different
from everybody else,

it stood out.

- Thank you, queens.

I think we've heard enough.

While you enjoy delicious
House of Love cocktails

and mocktails
in the Untucked Lounge,

the judges and I
will deliberate.

All right, just between
us squirrel friends,

I want to know
what you think of our girls.

Let's start with Plane Jane.

- I think Plane Jane and Q
had a real relationship going.

I think they were two
that were very cohesive.

- I had a higher standard
for Jane

after everything I've seen her
do in this competition so far.

She's so great, and tonight,
she was just good.

- All right, let's talk about Q.

- Q was a theater queen.

So when she gets out on stage,
I kind of know she's got it,

and tonight was no exception.

It wasn't the funniest.

It wasn't the worst.

But I felt super confident
every time Q was talking.

- Where Q shined the most
tonight was that runway,

the message behind it.

By letting us in,
getting to know her

a little bit, it makes me
love her even more.

- Dawn.

- In the presentation,
she kept them afloat,

and that was tough.

- It is, like, that thing
of in case of an emergency

on a plane, you're supposed
to put your own mask on first

before helping somebody else,

and I think she was trying
to help Mhi'ya too much.

- All right,
let's talk about Mhi'ya.

- I want to start with what
went right for Mhi'ya

during the presentation.
Now that I'm done with that...

- [laughs]

- She dropped the cards
at the top of the stage,

and I thought, "I wonder
if that was planned."

- Mm.

- I think
she really needed them.

If you don't know the character
that you're playing,

you're not gonna be able
to play the character.

- Sapphira.

- She has this gravitas,
this energy about her.

I couldn't take
my eyes off of her,

even when she was sort of
floundering a little bit.

I still felt, like,
a power there,

and it's really exciting
to watch.

- What a pro, right?

- Tonight on the runway,
it was everything I'd want

and a bag of chips.
Home run.

- All right, Morphine.

- Tonight on the runway,
it just wasn't giving me '80s.

- It didn't stack up
to the other looks

that were standing
on that stage.

- Her in the challenge,
it didn't work for me.

Maybe because
Nymphia and Sapphira

were so much stronger,
she got lost a little bit.

- And she really tried,
but she was

so nervous and unsure
that it took us

so completely out of it.

- Nymphia.

- Her performance is gonna
be a little, uh, divisive.

- Might be the other woman.

- She went with the accent.

Given time, she would have
pushed it further

and made it more than just
that one characterization.

- It was interesting.

I think there were
some funny things

happening with it.
I'll just leave it at that.

- Yes, I'm with you.
I don't know that...

I wouldn't recommend
anyone else do it.

- No, no.
You don't do it, Ross.

- I will not do that.

- Neither will I.
- No.

- I could do it.
- Yeah, you could do it, Joel.

- OK.
- All right, silence.

I've made my decision.

Bring back my girls.

Welcome back, queens.

I've made some decisions.

[dramatic music]

Sapphira, you gave good love
on the runway

and in the presentation.

Nymphia, in the challenge,
you went bananas.

And on the runway,

you put some Grace in our face.

Sapphira, condragulations.

You are the winner
of this week's challenge.

- Oh!

- [laughs]

- Thank you.

This is my third win,

and I'm so excited,
my second in a row.

I am getting up there,
miss thing.

- You've won
a cash prize of $5,000.

- [laughs]

[laughter]

I look over,
and Q's very sour in the face.

Mama is about to pop.

- Ladies, you may step
to the back of the stage.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

- Plane Jane, Q,
you are both safe.

- Thank you, mama.

- Thank you.

- Mhi'ya,
you are giving Patti LaBelle,

but your presentation
needed a new attitude.

Morphine, you were
busting out all over,

but your presentation fell flat.

Dawn, you gave us high punk,

but your presentation
was no slam dunk.

Dawn, you are safe.

You may join the other girls.

- Thank you so, so much.

- Mhi'ya, Morphine,
I'm sorry, my dears,

but you are up for elimination.

- Even though this is
my fourth time lip-synching,

I'm not going out like a sucker,

and may the best
Miami bitch win.

- Two queens stand before me.

Ladies, this is your
last chance to impress me

and save yourself
from elimination.

The time has come for you

to lip sync

for your life.

- I don't give a f*ck
if it's the queen of flips.

Let's get the show
on the road, bitch.

- Good luck,
and don't f*ck it up.

[Donna Summer's
"Dim All the Lights"]

- [singing] Dim all the lights,
sweet darling

'Cause tonight, it's all the way

When you find the perfect love

Let it fill you up

- Yes, baby.
Whoo!

[cheering]

[tense music]

- What's going on?
Everything goes pitch-black.

Oh, she wants
to play this dirty? OK.

[upbeat pop music]

- Yeah.

- [singing] Dim all the lights,
sweet honey

'Cause tonight, it's you and me

Want to be your woman

If you'll be my man

- [laughs]

- [singing] Let yourself go
freely

And I'll show you things

That you've dreamed of

- Did this bitch
just throw her tits at me?

It's gonna take more than
a fake boob to stop me, bitch.

- [singing] And I'm like a cup

Come fill me up

Oh

Dim all the lights,
sweet darling

'Cause tonight, it's all the way

- Oh, my gosh.

- Whoo!

- [singing] I know what you want

You can use me all up

- Is she gonna drop here?

It starts.
It's great.

Too long, ugh.

- [singing] Don't leave
even one drop

- But then so long,
it's great again.

- [laughs]

- [singing] You know
the moment's so right

Turn my brown body white

- Hey, hey.

- [singing] Come on,
dim all the lights

- [laughs]

- [singing] Turn up the old
Victrola

Gonna steal your heart away

Keep on dancing

[laughter]

[cheers and applause]

- Yeah!
- Whoo!

- Ladies, I've made my decision.

[tense music]

Morphine, shantay, you stay.

You may join the other girls.

- Thank you so much.

I love you so much.

- Mhi'ya, my queen,
it won't be the same

here without you.
Now, sashay away.

- Thank you all
for this opportunity.

I'm so grateful.

Thank you, judges,
and I love you all.

- Thank you.

[applause]

- From the palace
to the queendom,

the queen of flips
is exiting the group chat.

[laughter]

- Love you.

[soft dramatic music]

- I'm gagging and shocked
that Morphine,

out of everyone, b*at me.

And I hope
I didn't let you guys down.

A lot of the critiques
the judges gave me,

I still remember everything.

I wrote 'em down.

And I'm just ready
to take on the world now.

[upbeat music]

- Condragulations, queens.

And remember,
if you can't love yourself,

how in the hell
you gonna love somebody else?

Can I get an amen up in here?

[together]
Amen!

- All right,
now let the music play.

[singing] A little bit of love
goes a long, long way

Lifting you up to a brighter day

Can you feel the love?

- Next time on
"RuPaul's Drag Race"...

You'll be starring
in the hot new

design show
"Bathroom Hunties."

- Welcome to the naughty potty.

- Whoo!
- Whee!

- Oh, it's moving.

- Louder, Sequoia, louder!

- Oh.

- Your physicality
really sold it to me.

- It left you as a afterthought,

and you're fiercer
than an afterthought.

- Plane or I deserved that win.

None of it makes sense.

I still feel like
it wasn't deserved.

[dramatic music]

- Bitch, what?

- [singing] A little bit of love
goes a long, long way

Lifting you up to a brighter day

A little bit of love
goes a long, long way

Turn it around
with you up and say

Everybody say love, love, love

Love, love, love

Love, love

Love

Oh

Love

Can you feel the love?