04x07 - Propane, Propane (1)

[bunniefuu]

Anyone see you, mo-f*ckers?

Coast is clear.

Come on in, mo-f*ckers. Gimme that, I'm starving.

Straight up, man. Listen. My man Scamp, he got the ends on the whole Snoop tour, baby.

The whole tour, coast to coast, nation wide, city to city.

He's gonna have the dope to drop at every show and we is gonna collect top-dollar commission, homie How many points?

Ten piece each.

Ten f*cking piece each!

That's twenty-grand, mother f*ckers!

I'm telling you, man.

Bam!

Lose that bam sh*t. That sh*t is wacked, man.

Don't ever say that again.

A'ight, T.

f*ck, yo, J, on the real, this time, there can't be no mistakes The truck is gonna be here Thursday morning, alright?

We're gonna load up the cheeba and we're gonna go straight to Moncton for the first show and throw it down, baby.

This sh*t's gonna drop.

We got a serious deal lined up with DVD, T and J-Roc.

They know a guy that knows a guy that knows a promoter for the Snoop Dog show in Moncton.

The guy's gonna buy 250 pounds of weed off us, pay for it up front, which is f*cking awesome.

Trevor, let's go. Chips.

So basically, we need a big rig to haul the dope up to Moncton Problem is, these two f*ck-ups steal a propane truck.

So now we gotta empty out all the propane, then we'll jam the weed in the t*nk and drive it up there, so it's gonna work out.

Trevor, more chips, let's go Basically, peach and cake.

But it just pisses me off that these two are always f*cking up.

Anyway... gonna be rich.

Everybody still thinks I'm living in jail, though, right?

The streets is talking. You're good.

It's all good, man.

Nobody knows I'm living under my mom's trailer?

'Cause that'd be wacked, T .

I know, man. Come on now If I don't go out hard.. .

Your fate's in our hand, man The plan's working to perfection.

And my record's gonna drop. We're going to the top.

Alright, boys, let's do this. It's gonna be easy.

You know why?

'Cause Lahey and Randy are stupid as f*ck.

What are we gonna do?

Get over here, Corey.

Did you guys put the costumes out with Lahey's garbage?

We laid them out so they could see them.

What now?

Just get in the truck, boys.

It's some kind of fuckin distraction for those shitnicks!

Brake burn, Ricky.

sh*t! Get the f*ck-

Hang on, hang on. There's a stick here.

Barbara, how you doing?

Uh, Randy, why don't you go and get our uniforms from the car, please.

Welcome.

Have a seat.

I'll pour you a little, uh, a little stiffener.

Jim, whatever happened to the way things used to be Yeah.

Yeah, well, I have to sell the park, Jim Think about that.

Yeah, Barb, I've been thinking about nothing else.

I think it's a bad decision.

Yeah. You know, I miss the simpler days.

Before the drinking, before Randy.

Yeah, when we used to go camping together in this old thing., Yeah, I've come to terms with your life and I accept it but I just want us to be able to move on.

Move on?

Yeah, you know I'm...

You wouldn't have my old engagement ring around, would you?

Who's getting engaged?

Ah, Randy, thanks.

Uh, just wait outside for a sec, bud, will you?

I'll be right out there.

Randy.

Whatever, Mr. Lahey.

I don't know what it is, but I just got a bad feelings something's gonna happen today. There's just so much stres with the dope and the Snoopy Dogg thinge and I got Barb wanting to spend time withm and then there's always f*cking Lahey, the nightmare.

And now my dad's f*cking me around.

He won't drive rig for us.

He's all afraid that now he's in this wheelchair, f*cking over the government, he's gonna get caught and things aren't legal.

Just pisses me off. In the good old days, he'd drive rig no problem. But then he f*cked it all up I got a frigging muscle spasm in my back, you know.

Gear slipped. Air brakes were sh*t to hell.

I mean, there's nothing I could do Boom, right into the post office He mention he was wasted out of his goddamned mind?

Some guys can drink and drive, some guys can't.

What is drunk? Is drunk going all over the road?

Hey, Flipper, come on now, settle down there, buddy.

He was f*cking hammered, , but the problem is that me and Julian can't drive 'cause if we get pulled over, we're f*cked.

So the only person who can drive is Bubbles.

He's basically the only clean license we can pull together Now I just gotta find some clean plates.

Ah, man, these are my prize possessions, these plates.

These things took me from Tuscany, Arizona to Kentville, Nova Scotia, man f*cking getting them bronzed.

The way I see it, it's not a big deal.

I'm gonna steal the plates from the old man.

I'll give him $16-1800 after the Snoop Dogg deal, and no big deal.

You dirty cocksucker. Grrr Alright, boys, Ray's plates are on.

Good job, buddy.

Boys, I can't wait to drive this f*cking rig.

I love rigs.

Looking good, boys.

Now all we gotta do is register those plates and they're legal Nice.

It's actually a pretty good idea this time, I think, boys.

Hi there, boys. Ricky, there's your lunch.

Julian, can I have a quick word with you, please?

f*cking awesome, look at that.

Is that cigarettes? Just want to make sure there's gonna be enough money to take care of Ricky's little accounting errors and still be able to buy the park.

Oh, yeah.

Good. I'd like to adjust our agreement a bit.

What do you mean, adjust We have an agreement here, Barb.

Ah, f*cking pepperoni. Peanut butter.

I'd f*cking love to have one of those.

Want it?

I can have that?

Don't tell Barb, alright I think that it's only fair that I should be able to keep my trailer and live in it rent free afterwards Come on.

Come on. That's fair.

Alright, I might be able to do that, alright?

Good, good.

Maybe.

Thank you very much.

And I'd just like you to know there's gonna be a little announcement made in the not-too-distant future and I do hope that you are gonna be supportive of it, Julian.

What are you talking about Ricky, I'm off to the liquor store, can I get you something Yeah, just get me a forty of anything and some of those grapefruit vodka coolers.

Those are f*cking awesome.

Okay, see you later.

Thanks for the cigarettes.

Oh, no problem, see ya later, hon.

Look at that.

Barb wrapped up cigarettes for him in the Saran Wrap.

Julian, there's a lot more going on than Barb just giving him lunches.

I think they're doing dirty things Let's forget about that f*cked-up topic for now f*ck!

Listen, man, a buddy of mine set up a rig-driving exam at the D.W. Truck Driving School for you, man.

Awesome.

Now you're sure you want to drive to Moncton?

No, I don't want to drive to Moncton.

Of course, I want to f*cking drive to Moncton.

I'd drive that thing anywhere.

Well here's the eye chart they use.

Make sure you study it.

I'm not studying that, I don't need it. My eyes work fine Oh, they work fine. How many fingers, buddy?

Ricky, you know I don't like that game.

Stop teasing me, boys. I'm gonna get my rig license I'm gonna be just like that BJ and the Bear cocksucker Except I'm gonna have kitties in my truck instead of a dirty-ass, stinky little monkey.

So let me get this straight.

You want to break up with me so that you can marry Barb to benefit us.

Can you explain that to me, Mr. Lahey?

It's a question of security, Randy.

Have you lost your mind?

No, Randy, I haven't., I'm considering the benefits, but the way Barb is acting I think she's come to grip with mine and your relationship.

We can still see each other, Randy, on the side.

Just like old times.

Mr. Lahey, I'm not the type of guy you see on the side anymore.

If you marry Barb, I will very seriously rethink our relationship.

"James. "

Did you f*cking see that, Ricky?

Awesome, buddy.

Did you see that?

I put on a truck-driving clinic today Thank you very much. What'd you think? How did I do Not good.

What?

I don't know how you passed your eye test, son, but you can't see jack sh*t. Jack sh*t!

I can see that you're being a bit of an arsehole right now Give me my rig license.

Yeah, you're putting us in a pretty shitty situation here Give me back that piece of hash, then. This is f*cked.

Can't give you back the dope, I can't give him a license It's just not safe.

Why?

He can't see.

How many fingers, son?

Oh...

He can't see jack sh*t!

All of them.

How many fingers, son?

Double, Rand.

Glasses are in the cupboard. rye's in the freezer, we're out of ice.

Randy, I know what I'm doing, boy.

No, I don't think you do, sir.

Randy, we're not really breaking up.

I already explained that to you.

Whatever.

Randy just doesn't understand.

I mean, I love him dearly, but I hate Ricky more.

I just don't want to have to put up with that prick for the rest of my life. You know, he grew up as a little sh*t-spark from the old sh*t-flint and then he turned into a sh*t-bonfire.

And then driven by the winds of his monumental ignorance, he turned into a raging sh*t-fire storm.

If I get to be married to Barb, I'll have total control of Sunnyvale and then I can unleash a sh*t-nami tidal wave that will engulf Ricky and extinguish his sh*t flames forever.

And with any luck, he'll drown in the undershit of that wave.

sh*t waves.

Listen, eyes, I asked you nicely to just work once good for me.

And what do you do? You f*ck me over again.

Little bastards. f*ck.

Bubbles, come on, get over it, alright? It's not a big deal I've seen you driving the rig, you were f*cking incredible.

You remind me of the old man We're gonna get you a fake license and what Julian doesn't grow won't burn him.

Make that monkey noise again, buddy.

I don't wanna-

Bubs, Buds, did you get it Man, he passed with flying f*cking carpets.

It was awesome.

Congratulations, buddy.

Check that out, boys. Registration for the truck One-hundred-percent legal.

No way. Awesome.

No f*ck-ups, boys. Nothing can go wrong this time No there's definitely no f*ck-ups, buddy.

I'm proud of you guys.

Here, Bubbles, you got your license, man.

You hold on to that, alright Yeah...

Hi, Jim.

Jim, what the hell are you doing?

Babs, hear me out.

I know things have been awkward between us lately, and I admit I've been going through an experimental stage with Randy and liquor and dr*gs and drinking and driving, but what I really want is you. Us.

Me and you and Trina.

Barbara Lahey, will you marry me again?

Jim, what are you doing?

You're drunk, aren't you?

I-I-I th-thought this was what you wanted.

You told me to bring the ring over.

You said you wanted us to move forward.

Oh, Jesus. Move forward separately, Jim Look, you, um, you better mix a drink or get the one you left outside, okay, because I'm marrying Ricky And I'm selling the trailer park to Julian.

And this is two-weeks notice for you and Randy.

You are no longer an employee of Sunnyvale.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Jim, I'll pay you and Randy for two weeks, okay?

But I need you to take this seriously.

I need you out of the trailer park. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Alright, boys.

Time for the final test.

Ricky!

My god.

Here, get up.

Oh... Omigod, boys.

How was it?

Hoo...

Boys... heh-heh-heh... that is hands-down the best dope I have ever f*cking smoked Yes! Alright, tomorrow we harvest, boys.

We're gonna have to get Corey and Trevor out here to give us a hand.

You guys want some of this sh*t?

f*ck that, Ricky. If it knocked you on your ass, it'll tear my head right off.

Holy f*ck, boys.

I'm still baked from the test joint this morning.

Hold him up!

Hey, Randy. Randy.

Guess what happened. We got fired.

But it's okay, man.

Because tonight, I'm gonna put on that nice little dress you like so much and we're gonna get drunk together, okay?

f*ck you, Mr. Lahey. You f*cked up.

Randy. Hey, Randy. Randy Randy!

Dad, just calm the f*ck down I need your driver's license for ten minutes, just to make a photocopy for the family scrapbook.

It's not a big deal. Yeah, just want to make a photocopy of it Alright, thanks, Dad. See ya Ricky, honey, we've got to talk.

Okay.

Ricky, I can't tell you what you've done for me.

And I want to settle down.

I want to start a family again Holy f*ck, I love licorice Me too. Me too.

So what I'm asking is, will you marry me?

Hold on a minute here, Barbara.

Did you just ask me if I wanted to get married by you?

Yeah.

Wow. I mean, I'm flattered that you'd ask me stuff.

I mean, it's been great banging and hanging out.

But, Barb, there's stuff about me that you don't know or you wouldn't understand. I'm f*cked.

No you're not. You're not f*cked.

Listen, you can grow your dope and get drunk and listen to Helix and play video games and not clean up as much as you want.

That's cool with you?

Yeah. So what do you say f*ck!

There you go.

Okay, this one's got a leak. Charge them an extra five, Bubs.

Alright. Your t*nk's f*cked. You need some extra money.

Holy f*ck, Ricky's moving at a good clip.

Ricky, slow down. Slow. Hit the brakes!

f*ck!

Ricky, what are you doing? We got propane over here!

Holy f*ck, Ricky! You come in like Seabiscuit, you don't even bother with your brakes anymore?!

I don't know what the f*ck happened.

Oh, f*ck.

God.

You're f*cking crazy.

Somebody cut my f*cking brake lines!

No, you're stoned and you're paranoid.

Ease off on the six-paper joints, Rick.

Hang on now. Let's butt that out and save it for later Nice driving, Ricky. We just popped in to let you know Corey and Trevor are officially mine now.

Sarah, I am so sick of your bullshit, okay. I own Corey and Trevor, Corey and Trevor belong to me and that's never gonna change. Never.

Corey?

Spit it out, shitsnap, what's the big f*cking news? Okay, well, we heard that Lahey asked Barb to marry him and she said no.

And then we heard that Barb asked Rick to marry her.

We heard you said yes, Ricky Everybody in the park is talking about it.

So me and Corey asked Sarah to marry us and we're getting married, dude.

Hands down, let's go.

What?

Congratulations, Ricky.

What the f*ck are you marrying Corey and Trevor for?

What in the f*ck are you doing? Are you getting married That was a f*cking unexpected announcement, Ricky.

No sh*t. How's she gonna marry both of them?

That's f*cked!

Not that.

You getting married.

Ricky, what are you doing?

You're not really marrying Lahey's ex-wife are you?

I dunno. I think so. I dunno.

f*ck, I dunno!

Ricky, what do you mean, you think so?

Look, Julian, I was baked out of my f*cking mind.

It seemed like a good idea at the time.

It's not every day someone asks you to f*cking get married. It's pretty f*cking cool.

Listen to me, Rick. We're about to sell a huge amount of dope here and get rich, okay?

What if you marry her and it doesn't work out, huh Marry somebody else?

No, I'll tell you what's gonna happen. She can take half your sh*t.

She can take half your car, half the trailer park, half your video games, she can even take half your cigarettes, Ricky.

That's not gonna happen, man 'cause most of that sh*t's ours.

Not just that, Ricky. But you're supposed to get married to somebody that you think is special, not just somebody that f*cking fires a lunch together for you and you go and get your freak on with Do you even love her?

Probably.

"Probably. "

Ricky, Lahey will hunt you down, okay? Go talk to Barb, tell her you were too stoned at the time and you need to think about it, Yes, marriage is a big deal and everything but I don't think it's as big of a deal if you're not the one proposaling it, because you're not the one that thought of it in the first place and asked the other person to do it.

So I got to talk to her.

What the f*ck? What kind of an idiot leaves a fresh pack of smokes, a lighter and a big f*cking piece of pepperoni? Right on.

What the f*ck? What the f*ck?!

Who's f*cking with me?!

I'm still taking your f*cking smokes!

Lahey. Two tanks, eh?

Randy must be going through a f*ck of a lot of propane eating all those cheeseburgers.

Fill her up, Bubbles.

What do you want, Lahey?

I just want a little propane Just like everybody else.

These are already full.

Yeah, right, so you can call the cops. I'm not an idiot, Jim.

Listen, Julian, I don't give a f*ck what you do anymore I just want a little propane, propane. To start the flame.

Ricky ruined my f*cking life, Julian, so I just want? a little propane propane ♪ Propane propane♪

? It's time to start the game Jim, Jim, Jim, listen, I heard what happened with Barb today.

Keep it together. You're starting to lose it, buddy Hey, maybe we can work something out once I buy the trailer park, Jim, huh?

Don't f*ck with me, Julian ♪ Propane propane♪

? Time to start the game?

Mr. Lahey-

♪ Propane propane♪

Lahey, you're peeing yourself!

Here you go, Jim. ? Propane propane?

There you go.

Thanks, Bubbles.

♪ Propane propane Propane propane♪
♪ Propane propane Propane propane♪

Julian, what in the f*ck was he on I dunno, man, he's f*cked.

I've never seen him that f*cking crazy.

He pissed himself and he didn't even notice.

Alright, alright. Forget about that.

Listen, we're out of propane. Let's get rid of that truck. Go put it by Barb's place. I'll hook up with you later at your shed.

Propane? propane?

Took the truck back, Julian.

Nice work, buddy.

Hey, Lucy.

When did you learn how to drive a rig?

I've been f*cking driving rigs all my life.

Huh. Where the f*ck is Ricky and what is this bullshit about him marrying Barbara? That selfish son-of-a-bitch.

I haven't seen him all day, Luce.

Oh, that's weird. Another police helicopter, huh I wonder what they're looking for. See you boys in jail. Bye Julian, what the f*ck do you think they're looking for?

The dope fields, aren't they Probably just training, buddy.

Yeah, training to throw us in jail.

Get going, you son-of-a-whore!

Me and the old man made this. An electric turkey deep-fryer.

There's nothing better than deep-fried turkey.

Just plug her in and adjust the temperature with this thing right here What the f*ck?! f*ck! Who's f*cking with me?

Think this is f*cking funny? You f*cking idiots.

Oh, now, Ricky, that was a perfectly good turkey.

Now come on. Let's go get it We'll put it on the barbeque. It's fine.

Barb, somebody's f*cking trying to k*ll me.

Ricky, come on.

Careful, it's wet there.

Oh...d Coming up, police have found and destroye three huge fields full of 12-foot-high marijuana plants...

Julian!

... near the Halifax airport Details at the top of the hour. Now back to...

Julian... that's our dope fields they're talking about on the f*cking news!

Alright, alright, alright.

Calm down. Calm down. Bubbles, calm down!

Listen, they only mentioned the ones by the airport.

They didn't mention the one by Highway 5.

Well, they're gonna find it, though. Eventually.

We're gonna have to harvest it, like, tonight We gotta get Ricky.

One hot bubble bath, ready for action.

Hmm.

Did you leave the propane on in the barbeque?

No, I don't think so. Why?

I think I smell propane. I'm just gonna go double-check Get in the tub. I'll be right there.

Okay, have you seen my smokes?

Ricky, they are in the little cabinet beside the bed marked "dope" where they should be.

Cool.

Barb!

Where's Ricky?

What's the matter, Julian?

He's in the trailer.

Let's go get him.

What's the-

Holy f*ck, look at the size of that firefly.

He's actually on fire, I think. Decent.

That was Lahey. What the f*ck's he doing?

Come on.

Ricky!

Ricky!

What in the f*ck?