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01x05 - #RulesOfEngagement

Posted: 07/08/15 18:41
by bunniefuu
Previously on Becoming Us...

It's so pretty.

What's Carly's role?

She's...

Not gonna walk you down the aisle.

That would make me really upset.

[Music playing]

I want this T-shirt business to work out because something should work out as planned for once.

Yeah, I don't think my hands are supposed to be green.

Why do you look so nervous?

Nervous?

Yeah. I began this journey while I was married before I consulted with my wife.

6 You know, I hurt her. 6 Not feeling huggy today.

That's okay. Love you, but.

Yeah.

[Music playing]

I'm Ben. I'm 16 years old and I'm a junior in high school.

I grew up with loving parents.

I have an amazing sister and I have an awesome girlfriend named Danielle.

If I fall you're always there to pick me up.

I got your back.

I thought I knew exactly where my life was headed, until she came along.

Her name is Carly, and Carly...

Was my dad.

What now?

[Music playing]

♪ Whoa, oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ whoa, oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ it's a big, big world ♪

[music playing]

Does this make you... does this make you nervous every single time you do it?

I don't know. Does this make you nervous?

I'm gonna faint. No, I'm just kidding.

No, I'm pretty used to it.

So how much do you put in there?

Uh, 0.25. I do it every week.

Just 0.5 every two weeks but I don't like the every two weeks routine because it's like the highs and the lows.

I've... I... I heard that.

Are too much, so.

I take a testosterone blocker everyday.

I also do an injection once a week of estrogen.

The benefits I get from hormones are more physical, breast development, my skin is definitely softer.

I just felt like emotionally things just seem to fit better.

So, now I got to...

Please.

If you really wanna see it.

I'm fascinated.

Okay.

Is that okay?

I don't care. It's fine.

Does it hurt?

No.

You're so funny.

What?

It's just like getting a shot.

It's not a big deal, really.

Poink!

That's it.

Wow!

Poink!

There you go.

Whoa! Holy moly.

Did you ever think you'd see your...

[clears throat]

Hmm, well, what am I again?

Your dad-mom?

Your step-dad-mom?

I think you're my friend now.

[Laughs]

I think Sutton has been pretty accepting of me from the beginning.

You're kinda like my step-mom now.

Done deal. I think she likes me better as a girl than a guy though.

I could almost guarantee that.

It did look like it hurt very bad.

[Laughs]

And I can't imagine giving myself an injection ever.

Oh, I'm pretty used to it.

It's been three, four years now.

I think she's courageous.

I think she's brave.

The things I have learned through Carly are... unbelievable.

So what's this engagement party and who's coming?

You're going to meet Floyd and Peggy Thomas.

That's his parents.

You memorize their names now.

Floyd and Peggy.

Floyd and Peggy Thomas.

Got it. Floyd and Peggy.

They will be there and...

Do they know I'm trans?

Yes.

Hmmm.

My fiancé Kevin's family is white picket fence slightly more conservative than we are.

We told them that you are in the midst of your transition.

Okay.

So planning a wedding with these family dynamics is nuts.

Who from your mom's side of the family is coming?

Jen, Ron, Sid.

Jen Crawford?

Yeah.

Wow.

Ronnie, Joan...

Oh, boy.

It's the whole Crawford clan.

My ex-wife's side of the family, I love them dearly. They're great people but you're either in the circle or you're not in the circle.

I haven't seen... I haven't seen them in a long time.

I might be a little nervous but...

And you know I hurt their daughter so I'm kind of legitimately really not in that circle anymore.

So...

So...

If you're available...

Yes.

I would like to have a dinner with you and Mom, and Peggy and Floyd.

Oh, wait a minute.

I think that any bride is gonna be nervous when her parents meet her fiancé's parents for the first time.

It just so happens that I might have a bit more baggage than most people.

Sure. Yeah. I'd love to.

Yeah. Good.

[Music playing]

So what have you found so far?

I found that this whole T-shirt thing is gonna be expensive.

I found this spot that hosts a website where you can like sell stuff.

So they have this platinum package and you can have 25 T-shirts, five images per.

And then I found this other website that does stickers like hang tag stickers.

So I thought it would be cool to like off the shirt we can have like a hang tag or whatever. Okay.

You could have your little seal sticker, right?

Exactly.

Why seal?

Because I have this really weird thumbs and I was trying to draw this thumb and then someone was like, "what is that seal?"

And I kept hearing seal so often that I was just like, "yeah, sure whatever you want.

Yeah. It's a seal."

They're not the same.

This is my toe thumb.

So for 250 stickers.

It's $209 dollars.

I mean, it's all adding up with ink, a screen printer, website and stickers we're looking at like, two to maybe three grand?

Yeah.

So I feel like we'll need some help.

Yeah.

Money wise.

Yeah.

I... I might know someone.

Who? You never introduced me to your rich friends.

Family.

Family, oh.

The timing is perfect.

Just because it's my sister's engagement party and my whole family's coming to town.

So I'm just gonna hit them up for money.

Why don't we get like some celebrities to wear our stuff to get our name out like, who's your favorite celeb?

Ryan Gosling, like...

I don't know who that is.

You don't know who Ryan Gosling is?

Dude, I do not watch TV.

I'm busy doing...

He's a movie star.

I don't even watch movies.

What?

And if I do I don't read the credits at the end.

Have you ever seen The Notebook?

Yeah. I got one right here.

Not that notebook, you dork.

The movie.

No, I haven't seen the movie The Notebook.

Sounds like a chick flick.

It is a chick flick but it's pretty funny.

What do you want?

I need some celebs.

What do you want?

Jay-Z and Beyonce wearing a seal.

I need someone like that's gonna make a difference.

[Music playing]

I'm glad you guys are here.

I'm so excited for you.

This is such a treat.

Never been to Chicago before.

I'm really excited.

You've never been to Chicago before?

I... I can't believe I didn't know that.

Nope never been. So we're excited about...

Being here.

We're meeting Carly tonight.

Meeting Carly.

I'm excited to meet her.

I am.

Good.

Have you ever met a transgender person?

No. This is all new to me...

But this is... okay.

And it's... it's okay.

Good.

And I feel like I know her only because you and Sutton have talked about her so much.

Yeah, totally.

So it's going to be easy. I think.

Right.

And we know that we use female pronouns and all of that but I know you guys are gonna be fine with that.

No. And he's... he's so comfortable where he is now but he's not finished.

She. Good. Good hun.

She...

I'm so sorry.

She is...

Good. That's great.

Exactly. Yes.

She's comfortable.

She is very comfortable where he is no longer... yeah that's right.

That's what I was trying to say.

You know she's getting surgery.

The big one?

I didn't know if you know that.

The big one?

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

There'll be some awkward moments. I'm sure.

And Peggy will say the wrong thing at the wrong time but I don't think...

Oh, yeah. You say that now.

Uh-huh.

I won't say anything wrong.

[Laughs]

We should bet on how many dresses she's gonna try on.

If I had known that Danielle wanted me to go dress shopping with her.

I honestly would have rather gotten struck by lightning.

Just a dress for a engagement. Isn't it?

Yeah. Just a dress.

She's gonna wear it once and hang it back up in the closet.

My mom doesn't take me dress shopping.

I have to rely for my dad to take me dress shopping.

It's kinda just been the normal thing since I was little. But I definitely think he'd rather be shopping for himself.

You know, how long this is gonna take?

A long time?

[Music playing]

I could tell you about some of the outfits she used to wear as a kid.

Dad are you talking about me?

No, I wouldn't talk about you.

[Laughs]

I don't know about this one.

I think it looks great on you.

Dad you're just trying to get out of this faster.

I am not. I think it looks really nice on you.

Here. How about you try on this one.

Okay. Thank you.

This is a great way for us to get to know each other, isn't it?

[Music playing]

Are you going to be in there all day?

Dad. Chill.

I'm going to try a couple more on.

That looks nice on you too.

I like that one the best already.

What do you think, Ben?

Oh, no. That's it.

Whoa!

That's the one right there.

Dad, you can't just keep telling me that.

Like I don't know if I like the color.

I'll take that dress.

Uh-hmm. Yeah, Dad.

That's very cute on you.

Very, very sexy.

Yeah.

Well, I know you're my daughter but...

Hey...

Dad.

Just zip it. Zip it, Dad.

Oh, god.

Please.

Try this one on.

Okay.

I'm a little bored just sitting here.

I think I'm gonna go try some of these on myself and at least see how they look on in the mirror.

Go for it.

You okay with that?

Are you sure?

I'm totally fine with it.

Okay. Danielle, how you doing in there?

Doing okay, Dad.

What do you think, Ben?

I don't know what that is.

It's a laced bandeau.

Bandeau.

Bandeau.

When... when would you wear that?

I'm not 100% sure.

When I'm going out I guess.

If I'm wearing a nice blouse over the top of it.

It would look wonderful. Don't you think?

I don't know.

Obviously.

And I don't know much either but we're learning.

Yup.

Okay.

Dad, I have another one to show you.

Okay.

Whoa!

Ben?

Ha!

Cut it out.

What?

It's... it's... what do you mean what?

It's gorgeous.

Sure it is.

It's really nice on you but you're not wearing that.

Dad, you can't tell me what I can and can't wear.

Yes, I can.

I like that one the best.

I mean some of the previous ones are not...

That's just me though.

Yeah, you would.

I... I do.

While you guys fight, I'm going to try on another one.

Okay.

I guess we're fighting now.

The whole relationship between Danielle and Ben is, uh, is somewhat funny at times.

Well, you know you're gawking at my daughter, you know.

I'm not gawking.

I am standing right here.

Okay.

Ben's still pretty young.

Better watch it.

I'm watching it.

I'll take you outside.

And fortunately or unfortunately Danielle is mature in a lot of ways and so I think there's a kind of a conflict there.

I think I have it down to two guys.

Yeah.

I kinda like this one.

I like them both.

Yeah.

Which one will be better for an engagement party?

[Music playing]

Ben?

I don't know.

[Scoffs]

You guys are not helping me out here.

You know, I think I'm just gonna go with this one.

Okay.

You think they have this in my size?

I don't wanna know Dad.

[Chuckles]

[Music playing]

I think I could quit shopping to do this.

I think once or twice a month.

Right?

Yeah.

I do like spending time with Sutton.

It's definitely a good thing.

I miss her.

I'm glad we're doing this, this is nice.

I thought we should have a nice little sit down so we could talk and...

Living in New York City removes me from Carly's world.

I don't see her as much and so I'm not as, connected to her as I used to be.

So it's really nice for us to be together.

Are you nervous about me meeting Kevin's parents?

No, I'm not nervous...

Okay. about you meeting Kevin's parents.

I'm nervous about them meeting you.

Oh, well, okay. Thanks.

It's new for...

No, it's new for them.

They don't run into that in the middle of South Carolina?

No, I don't think so.

No?

Not a lot.

In their retirement community?

No... yeah. Not really in the retirement community.

I don't think there's a lot of transgenders running around.

Transgenders, I hate that word.

What is... so tell me exactly what you're... what it is?

Transfolks, transwomen, transman.

Transperson?

Yeah.

Well, good. Okay. Good.

So now I know.

So, how do you see your wedding going as far as your mom, me...

This is a delicate subject.

I'm nervous about what Carly thinks her role should be.

Um, the idea was maybe like...

Officiant, perhaps his parents walked down the aisle and then I was thinking Kevin and my mom and Kevin escorts her to her seat.

And then Ben walks you down the aisle.

Oh, I like that.

To your seat.

It's not really my place to fully participate in her wedding, you know, I'm not her dad.

And then I was thinking grandpa Ron's gonna walk me down the aisle.

And there was a lot of people wondering what you thought about that and if you assumed that you were going to do it.

No.

She is just crazy about her grandfather and her grandfather is crazy about her.

Well, thank you for understanding.

No. That makes way more sense to me than Ron and me.

Yeah.

Ron was your...

My dad.

Your everything.

Yeah. He was my everything.

He was... he is my everything.

He's so great.

So that totally makes sense.

[Music playing]

All right. So I'm gonna see them coming first, do you ...

I know you're gonna have to like..

Someone's gonna... she'll do it.

She's fine. Act natural.

I will.

I'll introduce.

Suzy has the shorter hair.

Oh, stop.

[Laughs]

It's true.

Fact.

Actually, true. True.

Fact.

My mother does have the shorter hair.

Good. Good, Kevin.

Yup.

And a tattoo...

Suzy has the tattoos.

Tattoos.

Oh, really?

Oh, tons. Tons of tattoos.

Oh, no kidding.

Lots of tats.

Oh, oh my god. Oh.

Here we go.

Okay.

Hi.

Absolutely.

Ladies, please.

Right this way.

Thanks.

Okay.

Yay.

Hey, how are you?

Hey, how are you? Are you Floyd?

You must be.

I am.

Carly, Floyd. Floyd, Carly.

Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you, thank you Suzy...

I don't wanna go too fast.

Hi.

Peggy.

[Indistinct chatter]

It's a family.

I am nervous for Kevin's parents to meet Carly.

We are so happy.

This is just wonderful.

Wonderful. Wonderful.

You know, Carly kind of saying what's on her mind does make me extremely nervous.

Well, hi, guys.

Hey.

Hey.

How are you?

We're all together.

I... that's... it's amazing to me that we all haven't been together yet.

We love that girl.

I can see why.

Oh, guys.

Oh, we love him, too but...

Yeah.

Yeah.

Good stock.

Goes without saying.

I like them both.

Peggy's bubbly and warm and loving and I can tell Floyd's got his own sense of humor for sure.

I look forward to getting to know him.

You remind me of my friend's grandfather, um...

Oh, sure.

Not... not because...

Right away.

Thanks a lot, Carly.

No, not because he's older because you're just really gracious.

Not even father.

And I mean, the day I met him.

I don't mean it.

Okay. Open mouth.

No, welcome to my world.

But no, the reason why I said that is because you were very gracious.

You're very...

Warm.

Oh, that's funny.

That's funny.

Yeah, very warm.

It was just classic Carly, don't worry about it.

That's fine.

So Carly, what do you do for a living?

I'm in information security.

Okay.

I investigate.

I do computer forensics and data loss protection for a large insurance company.

That amazes me because I know when I worked in an office and somebody would come in to fix our computer.

It is amazing what's in there.

Right.

That's his...

That's her job. Yeah.

Yeah.

Sometimes you don't want to know.

Carly, you are going to have surgery and I'm curious, um, how did you choose where to have it done because not everybody can do the surgery, correct?

I had to pick somebody in the States.

For insurance.

Mmm.

So... In the States you said?

Yup. Yup.

Wow.

So that kind of narrowed it down.

Pretty significantly.

Yeah. I mean, it's such a delicate operation that I'm sure you wanna have the right, um, what's the word?

A good vibe.

Yeah.

We're five minutes into dinner and they're already asking about Carly's surgery.

Seems a little inappropriate.

Are there a majority of them more done in the South America or...

I don't know about South America but Thailand.

Thailand.

Yeah. There was a doctor there that's where I really wanted to go to begin with but...

Really?

Huh.

It didn't work out which is fine. I did some research...

Mom.

And it actually turns out it was a good thing because I've read some stories, pro and cons...

Plus to have any follow-up, required travel to Thailand, so.

Exactly. Yes. Exactly.

It's a little bit further...

[Inaudible]

Scottsdale. So...

Yeah. Scottsdale, Scottsdale?

Yep. Yep. Very close...

Just seems like an odd place to...

This whole time I'm worried about Carly feeling awkward and I look over at my mom and she feels left out.

You're a big golfer.

We should talk.

I am a big golfer..

The focus was on Carly and we kinda got stuck there.

Do you golf?

Yeah.

Really?

Yup.

Super.

Did you ever golf Suzy?

No, I just...

I was good.

Really?

When I was... when I was young.

I was really good.

No kidding. Good.

Wow. That's great.

That's great.
[Music playing]

[Inaudible]

Yeah.

Hey, here we are.

Oh, finally.

My family just flew in from New York.

Ladies first.

Thank you.

I haven't seen them in a while.

I'm excited. Excited.

What are you getting?

Pancakes.

Hmm.

Pancakes.

My grandmother Sydney is 80 now.

Yes, I said 80, and some days, my grandma has more energy than me and I'm 16.

I know Ron knows what he wants.

He usually does.

Grandpa Ron is like Hippy Ron.

He's an old body but a young soul.

What are you, a junior now, right, can't keep up.

Uh-hmm.

My aunt Jen is my mom's younger sister.

She is like the fireball of the Crawfords.

Will get her point across no matter what.

So you know how like everybody's like what are you gonna do with your life?

Uh-mm.

Yada yada yada.

I've heard that going around.

Yeah.

Well, I have a plan.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Which is a T-shirt business.

I got to admit, I do have a little bit more on my mind than just having breakfast.

It'll be able to incorporate my photography and it's gonna be me and Ayton.

You know Ayton?

I do.

That nut.

That kooky kid.

He's pretty funny.

Basically we want to kinda just get the ball rolling and...

Okay. to kinda get it underway.

Uh-huh.

And where are you gonna get your money from?

Well, that's why I'm here.

So you're looking for investors.

Uh-hmm.

Uh-hmm.

Uh-hmm.

Uh-hmm.

Well, we can...

Talk to her.

Talk to her.

Things aren't going exactly as planned.

Exactly how much money are you looking for here?

Three grand.

And what's the three grand for?

For shirts and...

Give me a breakdown.

Give me the breakdown here.

I love my aunt Jen but when she does business, she means business.

Like if I'm investing, you gotta keep me posted.

She's crazy about work, so, I can't really mess with her and her money.

All right. We're doing $2 a shirt and we're going to buy a thousand of those which equals 2,000.

Hmm.

Okay.

Screen printer plus ink 1,000.

You're gonna hand print these?

Uh-hmm.

Oh.

We're gonna sell each shirt for $7.50.

We're gonna save 200 shirts for promotional reasons.

Throw it out on Instagram, and we'll send them a shirt or something.

And you guys are so social media, you know.

"Ish." Yeah.

Yeah, "ish."

You know.

We're gonna try and sell 800 shirts which would be 6,000.

Uh-huh.

And then we would be able to pay the $3,000 that we owe back.

Right.

And then still have $3,000 left over.

To reinvest.

To reinvest.

You got that all figured out. Good for you, Ben.

Yay!

Great.

So that's my plan.

I love it.

Great.

I do too.

Yeah. I'm so impressed that you did all the numbers and added this up and figured out a profit.

I'll invest.

All right.

So will we.

All right.

Absolutely.

Uh-hmm.

Okay.

But I'm gonna definitely be hard on you and keep track of it, cause I know how hard it is to keep things going, you know.

Uh-hmm.

I don't mess around.

If I give you money I'm gonna keep track of every penny.

Yeah.

She means business.

Me and Ayton really better step our game up.

You definitely got to make it work.

[Laughter]

Ben jump in there.

What do you...

Oh, it's so weird being around all these people again.

So you've done this a lot now, haven't you, in the last couple of weeks...

Oh, yeah, No, I mean my ex... my ex-wife.

I know, I know. I give you credit.

I do give you a credit, for just...

It's a little different.

My ex-wife's side of the family, they've got some issues with me I'm sure.

They've got issues with what I've done and rightfully so, they're...

Suzy's their daughter, they're not looking out for me, they're looking out for her.

I got to find my coat and I'm gonna go put my purse and my coat somewhere.

I wish I could just kind of hug them and tell them I'm sorry.

[Indistinct chatter]

Oh.

Man, I can't believe your sister is getting married.

Are you guys gonna get married?

Nah!

We'll get divorced before we ever get married.

Yeah.

What would your kids be like, I mean, if you had kids?

You would have like little baby sloths.

Aw.

Like sloth from the Goonies or sloth the cute animal?

What if you two did?

You have hyper and like super hyper kids running around.

What would [Inaudible] be?

It would just be like a camera with like ballet shoes.

I struggle living under my mom's roof, okay.

So the last thing that I need to worry about is a wife and kids in my own home.

I'm going to die in these heels.

This is how I die.

Ladies, slow your roll.

That was awkward.

Whenever there's women talking about the future...

It's really awkward.

It's always awkward.

Right.

They're all like, yeah, and picture me long term, your whole life and I'm like, uh...

I'll picture you until the milk expires.

Um, I'm not sure about that.

Oh, finally.

[Cheering]

Oh, my god. You're really coming.

Yay.

Woohoo.

This is amazing.

For the first time ever I get to walk into a room with my soon to be husband and there's our combined families.

Everyone's together, everyone's having a good time.

Oh.

I'd say the person who I look at as my father the most is, um, my grandfather, Ron.

I love these so much.

[Music playing]

They've said, "do you have pictures of Sutton when she was little?" I said a lot of times.

[Laughs]

He has been there for me since I was an infant baby and he helped raised me and he helped my mom and he's been the best dad to me that I could ever ask for.

You're just the best person ever.

You are the best person ever.

Hey, watch this.

I'd have my grandpa every day, a hundred percent of his attention until about four, and then they moved to New York.

Watch me move the plate.

And so Charlie was the father figure after that.

Say, "welcome home."

Hi, I'm glad they're home.

So when you started dating Kevin, I just remembered thinking, "oh, I think I like this guy."

He's gonna treat you well.

He is.

Well, thank you.

And thank you for being here.

I'm here for you, baby.

Thank you.

It's getting weird.

Well, get over it.

It's the Crawfords.

Oh, yeah, I know.

It's a little strange.

Come on, suck it up.

What's it in.

I'm in.

[Laughs].

All in, baby.

All right.

All in.

I'm glad I'm here, thanks.

That's right.

Yeah, and you're gonna be at more things than this so.

I'll be at more things. I'll be...

See you tomorrow.

See you at the shower.

This is what it's about.

I'm there for my daughter.

See her celebrate, see her open gifts, reconnect with her friends and her family, and just watch her be joyful.

I'm happy for you.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

I love you.

I love you too.

Keep it that way.

So, you know, when I remember that's why I'm there, it's fine.

Oh, god.

I thought Carly would be dressed a little flashier.

She's toned it down, recently.

She's really toned it down.

Have you talked to her, him/her?

Uh, I just said hi.

Yeah.

That's all.

Me too. I still can't say she.

I know. It's hard.

I'm still on the he.

I know.

Like.

And...

Half he.

Yeah.

Half this way.

She, he.

He.

[Laughter]

Sometimes I get a little nervous, I feel like people are talking behind my back, and sometimes they really are.

And I don't care.

Whatever makes you happy.

No, no, no.

I don't care, but, I feel like that is a new addiction.

I know.

It's almost like I was like a freak.

And it's not very nice.

This, this.

Yeah.

This.

But I think it's the people who have problems loving another people, for who they are that create the issue.

Cause really if there is no issue people need to be less concerned about what other people are doing.

Mind their own business.

When you go the distance so to speak.

Yeah.

Will that satisfy...

No, I think there will be something else.

There will be something else.

To be honest, I much would have preferred to be talking about Sutton and Kevin than the topic we continually land on which is Carly's surgery.

I just think it's for selfish reasons.

Do you remember the conversation we had on the back porch of 1423?

We had so many.

1427, you said, "well, look, I like yah. You seem like a good guy," back then.

"Um, but one thing, if you ever hurt my daughter I'm gonna k*ll you."

How many drinks did I have?

I don't know.

It's time to dance.

In honor of our couple tonight.

How do I describe my family's dance moves it's kind of like watching a train wreck, it's embarrassing and that's coming from a kid with a dad that is now a mom.

Hey Ben, I dare you to dance with me.

I dare you.

Come on, come on, come on.

I mean, I may not be the best dancer.

I hate dancing.

But I might as well just jump in with everybody else because we all look dumb together so it can't be that bad.

[Music playing]

[Crowd cheering]

Whoo.

Yeah.

Oh, my god.

Best engagement party ever.

Whoo!

[Laughs]

"I'm gonna k*ll you."

How many drinks did I have?

I don't know.

Well, you look good.

Oh, thank you.

I miss you guys.

Really?

Yeah, I do.

Well.

I do.

I detect a better balance.

Oh, god.

For the first time in my life I genuinely feel like I'm free...

Well...

I am free.

I am not weighted down, I don't have bricks in my back pack, and Suzy wasn't like that I mean, I weighted myself down...

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It wasn't anybody else's doing, it was my doing.

Ron and I had a really nice conversation, it was nice to be able to air some of that stuff with him, it was really appreciated because I kind of needed it at that moment.

[Music playing]

♪ There are times that I shout ♪
♪ there are moments out loud ♪

Look at all the icicles on like the rocks...

That will be a cool picture.

♪ There are things that I said ♪
♪ there are things that I meant ♪
♪ there are moments I doubt ♪

I like Ben a lot and he's a really good person.

But we have been drifting apart lately, and I don't know if we're necessarily on the same page all the time.

Picture, picture.

[Shutter sound]

Why'd you look so angry?

I mean, at the same time I still love him so it's... it's hard.

♪ And I'll remember every moment ♪
♪ I'll remember everything ♪

I like film.

The only thing that I don't like is developing it because that's just no fun.

♪ I'll remember everything ♪

[music playing]

Oh, my god.

Yeah.

It looks so beautiful.

It looks amazing.

The flowers look incredible.

Look at the pictures. That's your friends.

The pictures.

This is ours.

This is everything I want guys.

Ow.

Hi.

Yay!

Congratulations.

Thank you. Hi.

Welcome.

Hi, mommy-to-be. How are you?

I am loving seeing these pictures.

Aren't they so beautiful?

I don't think I've ever saw that one over there.

Look at your son.

I know.

Oh.

[Music playing]

It looks so good, it looks so beautiful in here.

Jen?

Look at your jazzy get up.

Am I jazzy?

Walking into that bridal shower, seeing all my ex-family there again it's really uncomfortable.

Hubba, hubba.

Yes, oh, my god.

Weddings are interesting.

Yeah, I don't know.

If I were to be married I'd be barefoot in the woods and in Scotland where it's rainy and I'm in a green lacy dress.

If I were to get married I would want to do it later in life like I want to go travel, like I do want to do stuff that I want to do and...

And you'd rather travel alone than with someone?

I mean, I would go with like my family, like, I want to put my family first before having like, a serious relationship.

Maybe that's why I'm so dependent on this relationship is because I don't really have a family.

Oh, my gosh, these are so cool.

You're invited to all of Ben's family events.

Where are you guys at this point?

Um, I mean, we're just really close because we've, you know, we've been dating for so long, so like I know everybody and, I just feel like I'm a part of the family, and like, I'm kind of glad about that.

[Laughter]

Yeah.

I don't want to feel like unhappy because like I'm not in a relationship, like, I want to be able be happy yeah.

Without being in a relationship, I want to be...

That's what I'm struggling with.

Like, I don't want to just... like, I don't want to feel like I need a guy in my life, I want to feel like, I'm free and I'm like an empowered person, I don't want to have to ever rely off of a guy, like...

Maybe you need a girl, hey?

No.

Just saying, I've dated girls, they're alright.

[Chuckles]

Hi, guys.

I'm Jeniffer, Sutton's aunt.

Yay!

And, um, something interesting came up last night I said to Carly who I, sorry, I keep calling Charlie.

I said, "what exactly are you?"

And he said...

She said.

A lesbian...

I'm sorry, she said.

Keep coming back baby.

Then we got in to like, I'm done with men, cause you had gone the man route too, yeah?

Uh-hmm. Tried.

I said, okay, I'm done with them so, we decided we were gonna go on a date.

[Laughter]

I'm just kidding.

Yay!

I'm trying to see Suzy's face.

[Laughter]

You're getting both sisters.

Wouldn't that be interesting?

Two for one?

My baby sister was trying to lighten up the mood to help me feel more comfortable and kind of poke Charlie a little bit or Carly.

I'm Suzy...

Yay.

Hi, Suzy.

And I'm so happy that all of you are here and I am so, excited about...

Oh, don't!

Sutton, finding her love...

Oh, my god, stop.

I know, Mommy.

And I didn't plan this.

[Laughter]

I didn't plan A, to say anything or B, to cry so I love you so much and I'm so happy for you.

Thank you Mommy, I love you so much.

So cheers.

Cheers, cheers, cheers.

And this woman never cries.

I know.

Ever.

It's still... nothing's dripping yet.

Thanks, Mommy. Hear, hear.

Okay. That's enough.

Better sit.

[Music playing]

[Indistinct chatter]

Suzy and Penny lean in a second.

Carly move in.

Hey, Mom.

Come on Moms.

Sut, you're so sweet.

Oh, my gosh. The never ending mimosa drink, over there.

I didn't plan anything but I'm gonna say something anyway.

Whoo.

Wanna give me a clink, clink.

Yay.

Oh boy.

[Music playing]

All right, so anyway...

Carly, hello, we all know each other.

Hi.

Not really.

Used to be married to Suzy, we were together for almost 20 years, not anymore.

Um, I hope... this is so much pressure.

[Chuckles]

I've always thought of myself as somebody who kind of broke the mold and, um, and that doesn't mean special, it just means like, I kind of just have always gone my own way, but all I got to say, you totally break the mold.

Don't you start.

[Laughs]

I met Sutton when she was turning seven, and I was kind of the outsider coming into this, you know, crazy family.

And, um, you had a dad who wasn't really all there, and I really tried to fill those shoes for you growing up as a kid.

And it was met with some resistance.

[Laughs]

Major resistance.

But... yeah, it was.

You're not my dad.

That's right.

Ugh!

But what I want to say is though that you were always special and you still are special, and the fact that you've met this guy who is really just beautiful, I mean, you can see it, beauty just comes out from him from within, and as do you, and you two are perfect for each other.

You're welcome.

And I love you very much.

I love you too.

Thank you.

So congratulations.

I love you. Thank you, thank you.

Very nice.

Cheers.

Cheers. Cheers with a coffee. Cheers, yay.

[Music playing]

Mommy, what kind of tea do you want?

I want some with caffeine.

You want tea with caffeine?

Yes.

Okay.

Because I have a headache.

Okay. I'm sorry.

Cause you partied too hard last night?

Evidently.

[Laughs]

That might be one reason.

For you.

Thank you.

Caffeine.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.

Oh, my god. I had so much fun.

Did you?

What?

I don't know. Did you have fun?

Yeah, I had fun.

I was worried about you.

Yeah, it's a little awkward.

She probably felt awkward too.

Uh-hmm.

Carly.

I did notice that there was a lot of conversation about Carly and...

Really?

Yeah.

So that was, you know, that was a little... little weird.

And I worry... see where you get it from?

Yeah.

The only thing I'm worried about.

That's how I start every sentence.

Is that, it's gonna have an impact when we're at the wedding.

Will the situation, color your wedding?

It's your day and it needs to stay that way.

I want Sutton's wedding to be perfect like any mother.

I'm not saying this in a mean way, it's just I don't want to deal with that.

I don't want to talk about Carly at my daughter's wedding events, we're not there for that.

I don't want you to be sad or...

Well, no, I won't.

I don't want you to be sitting there thinking about her.

I want you to think about me.

Yeah.

My mom is nervous that the novelty of Carly is going to detract from Kevin and I's day, and I just really respect and appreciate where she's coming from.

I don't... I don't know what to do 'cause I don't want you to feel uncomfortable.

I mean, should I like uninvite her?

[Music playing]

Every girl knows that planning a wedding is hard, and crazy, and stressful and it's just a little bit more stressful with divorced parents.

I met Sutton when she was seven and I think today we've got an understanding, we're still not like father-daughter, mother-daughter, we never will be.

Uh, but I think we've got a good understanding of each other and I think we have certain amount of respect for each other.

And I think she has more respect for me today than she ever did.

Carly wants to be my friend, I like Carly sometimes most of the time, but I've divorced this person.

At this point all I can do is try to honor everyone's concerns.

But at the end of the day it's all about Kevin and I's life together, and we are blending families, but I think that's just something that everyone's gonna have to get used to.

I don't really see Ben in my future.

You want to end this, so let's end this.

You really don't want Carly at the wedding?

So are we breaking up?

Damn, she's gone.

What just happened?

♪ Here comes trouble ♪

An all-new "Becoming Us" at its new time. Next Monday, 10/9 central, ABC Family.